there’s a great question in goal-setting
and personal success I wanted to start
off with and the question is what one
great thing would your dare to dream if
you knew you could not fail now that’s a
great question if you were absolutely
guaranteed a success in any goal big or
small short or long-term if you could
wave a magic wand
take a pill that you’d be absolutely
guaranteed what one goal would you set
for yourself and when you ask that
question usually big goals come into
your mind you’d be written it should be
famous
you’d be powerful but when you ask the
question what happens is you start to
realize that it is fear that holds us
back more than anything else because if
you’re absolutely guaranteed of success
you’d be unstoppable I mean you would be
a force of nature if someone were to put
a blessing on you and say that you are
indestructible and you could accomplish
any goal you’ve ever set for yourself
who what different things would you do
now when I started off I came from a
poor family I say I came by my feelings
of guilt and unworthiness honestly
because I was raised by a Catholic
mother and I grew up with no
self-confidence no self-esteem why I
kicked was kicked out of school several
times I misbehaved I ended up spending
half of my school and the library
because I was kicked out of courses I
left school and the twelfth grade and
got a job as a dishwasher worked as a
labourer lived in my car dug ditches and
things like that so I had no self-esteem
and I began studying the subject over
the years and I found that your level of
self confidence how much confidence you
have in yourself to be do accomplish
something where do you determine the
whole quality of your life so what I
found is that there’s a direct
relationship between how high your level
of self-confidence is and your level of
sales one-on-one relationship with these
self-confidence in selling success isn’t
selling you’ve got to be bold
you’ve got to be courageous you’ve got
to take rejection and disappointment
you’ve got to get up there you’ve got to
face up all your fears in order to get
appointments you’ve got to face your
fears and learn to ask for
so self-confidence is critical
self-confidence is essential in business
because it’s impossible to even start a
business to arrange a bank loan to set
up customers to hire people to do all
the things that are necessary in
business require self-confidence also
what we found is that your level of
self-confidence is the critical factor
in your level of sex appeal is that the
more confidence you are the more
appealing you are to other people the
more confident you are actually the more
magnetism you have that’s why actors and
actresses who seem to be extremely
confident have a certain amount of
magnetism so it’s only it’s very
important for us to make us feel happy
it affects and empowers other people it
causes people to treat us differently we
make more sales we make more money we
marry better we’re better and more
effective socially self-confidence is
everything and so I began studying when
my self confident was confidence is very
very low
and I began looking at the subject of
self-confidence I find that there’s
three factors that either fear with our
self confidence number one factor is
doubt and fear doubt and fear this is
really the greatest problem that human
beings have throughout all of history
throughout all the books of religious
and spiritual works and philosophy and
psychology fear and doubt doubt and fear
hold us back more than anything else and
then second of all its feelings of guilt
and unworthiness feelings of guilt and
unworthiness and these are universal and
then finally number three is we have
feelings of inferiority and undeserving
as’ it’s absolutely amazing they’ve done
they’ve done lots of work with AIDS
patients and they find that some people
who have AIDS live for years and years
and years and some died and they found
that the critical thing is the feeling
of worthlessness is people come down
with the disease and they feel that
there’s something wrong with them and
they lose their heart Viktor Frankl when
he was in the Nazi death camps at
Auschwitz said as long as people
believed in something they stayed alive
as soon as they stopped believing they
just died and so we all have these
feelings in fact the feeling of
undeserving this is one of the dirty
little secrets that we have with regard
to success is you’ve heard the old
expression fear of success
so no such thing as fear of success
that’s just a pop suggestion it’s
feelings of undeserving us we don’t feel
like we’re worth it and so people who
unconsciously don’t feel that they’re
worth very much they will work very hard
on the outside to achieve success and
then they’ll sabotage themselves so
these are the big three is but and where
do doubts and fears come from where does
guilt and unworthiness come from imagine
if you had no doubt at all completely
self-confident no fears at all is if you
felt fabulous about yourself and your
ability to accomplish things if you felt
like you deserve all good things in the
world think how much different you would
be and then you look at people who are
really successful and happy and that’s
the way they are and
that happens nobody starts out that way
so I began studying this and this is
really what got me going and I have now
been teaching for 25 years but I began
but these very principles were talking
about today so what we know is that in
motion all habits including emotional
habits are learned and this is an
interesting concept that came about the
study that works it was Spencer who
wrote the turn of the last century but
emotional habits or ways of feeling ways
of responding emotionally are all
learned they are not fixed they’re
almost like vagrant emotions they have
no home in the subconscious if they were
fixed and certain phobias and certain
mental illness is fixed if they were
fixed they’re locked it you can’t get
them out but as it happens 99.9% of our
emotional responses especially negative
ones are actually unlearning you can
actually diffuse them you can actually
pull the wires that keep them from seed
and give birth and if you couldn’t get
rid of them of course you could never
improve but the very fact that you can’t
and get rid of them means that you could
accomplish anything
so I began studying success I got into
sales how many people here in sales well
I got into what I couldn’t get away
green job as well so I got into sales
and I spun my wheels and I finally began
asking the question why is it that some
salespeople are more successful than
others what I learned which turn my life
around which you’ve heard before is the
law of cause and effect and the law of
cause and effect says that for every
effect in your life bearing this going
on this cost that we live in a universe
that is governed by law this is often
called the iron law of the University
iron law human destiny because it says
that everything that is happening to you
is happening for a reason so law of
cause and effect says that if you can be
clear about an effect that you desire
you can trace it back
and by finding someone else who’s gotten
that effect if you do the same things
that they do over over again you’ll get
the same result well the great practice
of the great application of the law of
cause and effect which has been the
foundation principle of human society
psychology religion philosophy
metaphysics and so on is the thoughts or
causes thoughts are causes and
conditions are effects and this is an
extraordinary extraordinary breakthrough
because most people believe falsely that
their situation in life is determined by
factors outside of themselves I’ll come
back to this later because it’s very
important whereas the fact is that our
thoughts which is the only thing that we
control and which we do control
determine everything that happens to us
in life they determine the quality of
our life the quality of our
relationships the quality of our health
how long we live how much money we earn
the home we live in the friends and
social relationships we have a level of
happiness and self-confidence thoughts
are causes and conditions of effects and
over the last 5,000 years a series of
mental laws has been have been
discovered in fact back before the time
of Christ there were what we’re called
mystery schools and mystery schools were
schools of people who would withdraw to
the mountains and they would study for
years and over the course of the years
they would be taught these principles
today the great findings of the mystery
schools are available to us simplest
gumdrops and newspapers but 99.9% people
have not discovered them so I want to
give you some of the discoveries in the
mystery schools which many people today
are rediscovering Anglos like a teenager
discovering sex I mean the wild never
seen before so the second law discovered
in the mystery schools was the law of
belief
the law of belief has a great cultural
heritage is the foundation of virtually
all religions and all philosophies and
it basically says this is whatever you
believe with feeling becomes your your
reality whatever you believe with
feeling becomes your reality if you
strongly believe it your mind actually
sorts out and creates almost a strainer
effect and you see the world through
what it’s called the screen of beliefs
you do not see the world as it is as the
writer and Asin once said you see the
world as you want and you act absent
that you actually deliberately ignore
things that are inconsistent with your
beliefs and you only see things that are
consistent with your beliefs so
therefore the law of belief is very
powerful now here’s the great tragedy is
some people have beliefs and we don’t
need to go into geopolitics but some
people have beliefs that are first of
all not based on reality they are based
on completely false information which
they’re passionately attached to and
which are life destroying as opposed to
life enhancing I don’t pass judgment on
anybody’s belief but the way you could
pass judgment on your own beliefs is
does it make you happy and as it has
enhance the quality of your life and
your relationships I’ll give you an
example when I had my first child many
years ago one of the child psychology
books about raising children said the
role of the parent is to break the will
of the child at an early age and as it
happened that was a common teaching in
the 20s 30s 40s even into the 50s is
that children if they’re too willful
will not respond well to instructions
from their parents so that the parents
job is to break the will of the child
well you can imagine we have a lot of
growing people in our society who were
raised by parents with that idea and
they’re broken people they’re angry
they’re drunk they’re alcoholic they’re
overweight they’re frustrated and so on
and so forth because at a very early age
bygone calls they were
so the law of belief says that we act on
based on our beliefs even though we have
self-limiting beliefs here’s a very
interesting point is that no one’s born
with any beliefs every belief you have
about yourself your potential the world
religion politics people anything every
belief you had you had to be taught
meticulously with very careful
instruction repeated over and over again
the worst of all beliefs are
self-limiting beliefs
now self-limiting beliefs are beliefs
were you believe yourself to be limited
in some way and so the starting point
point to our using the law of belief on
your behalf this first of all you ask
yourself what beliefs would it be useful
or helpful to me to have and imagine
that you can go to the beliefs store and
buy a belief like a piece of software
and programmed it into your harddrive so
it became part of your operating system
but you can only choose one belief what
would be a good belief to buy that’s
that you can do all things do you think
about and want to do that’s balls dead
on sir you’re then going well friend of
mine spent dad’s 18 years studying the
biographies of more than 500 men and
women who had started with nothing and
became successful and he was looking for
the common denominator of success and he
found it he found that every single one
of these people throughout their lives
absolutely believed that they were going
to be a big success
they absolutely believed they were going
to be a big success when they grew up
and no matter what happened to them in
their adult lives and they never lost
sight of that like the three wise men
following the star they felt that
everything that happened was part of the
process every setback was a lesson every
pain was something sent to teach them
something that would be helpful and they
never stopped believing in themselves so
if you could buy one belief the belief
is this is that you are destined to be a
fixed
success that you have incredible tech
potential that you’re surrounded by
incredible opportunities and that you’re
going to be a huge success in life and
everything that’s happened up there now
is part of your preparation so challenge
yourself limiting beliefs don’t ever say
I can’t do that well I’m not good at
that or something else no way to say
wait that’s totally false
what if deep down what if you have deep
down inside again the ability that’s
extraordinary something that’s important
to you but it’s skiing or skydiving or
mathematics or or or selling or earning
money or running a business you probably
have more ability than you can dream
them but don’t sell yourself short
now in the Bible it says according to
your faith that is done unto you it’s
one of the most important principles the
New Testament the Old Testament said as
a man thinketh in his heart and the
heart stands for the subconscious mind
which means a deep belief so easy or so
she William James says beliefs create
the actual fact is if you have the
belief that actually becomes the fact
because you always act in a manner
consistent with a belief and as a result
to get the results consistent with your
actions and you can control your beliefs
is it easy to change your beliefs
especially all negative no it’s not easy
is it possible absolutely
is it easy to lose weight no is it
possible of course it is now the number
three law is called the law of
expectation now the law of expectation
there is an entire field in economics
called expectations theory there’s an
entire field in psychology called
expectations theory your expectations
largely determine the quality of your
life in this sense is that whatever you
expect with confidence becomes your
self-fulfilling prophecy whatever you
expect with confidence becomes your own
self-fulfilling prophecy in other words
you are always telling your future by
the way you talk about how you think
things are going to turn out you are
like a fortune teller and you’re a lot
and if you believe that things are going
to turn out well if you expect that is
you’re not welcome by gun they do if you
believe that you’re going to be popular
and the people are going to buy and that
you have a great product and a great
company you’re going to have a great
life and you’re going to be accepted and
we see well received by people and then
you act that way so it’s very very
important that you always expect the
best and this is the key expect the best
expect the best expect the best of
yourself expect the best of other people
but especially expect expect the best of
people who look up to you one of the
discoveries at Harvard University is
that there’s two qualities of
child-raising that raise happy healthy
kids two qualities by the way that raise
happy healthy powerful business teams as
well and sales teams number one is a
democratic environment a democratic
environment is where everybody is
welcome to express their opinions and
people discuss and debate and get
feedback and so on and so forth and they
make their decisions based on consensus
so if everybody feels valuable and
important and respect that’s number one
for kids it’s phenomenal evidence my
kids have been little I always ask for
their opinion what would you like to do
where would you like to go now as they
grow up
we take turns what would you like to go
for dinner would you like to go and so
on and the kids decide and now when
they’re adults they feel that their
opinion is valid when they meet with
other adults they feel that their
opinion is because I’ve been trained all
their lives that their videos were
something so number one is a democratic
environment
number two is a climate of positive
expectations is their parents will
expect their kids to do well very
successful person when you go on you’re
going to you’re gonna get good grades we
mix the best of your turn children wise
to your expectations they may argue with
you that maybe Jack
discount your positive statements cuz
you’re a parent but it affects about an
unconscious helpful well you remember
really now wonderful line from a
journalist he said my father was not
very talkative he said there’s a good
man but he didn’t talk very much but I
do remember him saying one thing which
affected my whole life he said son I
expect you to do something worthwhile
with your life when you grow up he said
I still remember that because whenever
it came up he’d say son whatever you do
I expect you to do something worthwhile
with your life when you grow up
he said that rang in my mind all my life
he said I serve him all my life to do
something worthwhile with my life just
because of the positive expectations so
it’s really important telling people
that you expect the best of them if
you’re married telling your spouse that
you believe in them and that you expect
the best and you believe that be
successful if they’re not successful
then they’ll learn something they’ll be
successful next time repeating that over
and over again there’s some greatest and
blessing that a person can have
okay so expect the best I expect the
best of other people expect the best of
yourself too okay now this the fourth
law the fourth law is the law of
attraction now the law of attraction is
getting you know a lot of traction today
a lot of buzz the law of attraction has
been around it was discovered first
written about 3,000 years before Christ
the law of attraction is very
interesting law that combines with the
other laws that it says that each person
is a living magnet now with along with
the law of attraction there’s a couple
of other laws one one is called the law
of vibration and the law of vibration as
you know everything in the physical
universe is in vibration even thoughts
now what causes the thought to vibrate
is the emotional component of the
thought a thought with no emotion has
just lost there an emotion with no
thinking is just out of control like a
random molecule but a thought which is
impelled by an emotion sets a force
field of energy that
tracks into your life people ideas and
resources necessary to achieve the
thought and the more powerful the
emotion the faster it comes into action
now the interesting thing is all these
laws are neutral if you believe negative
things then that’s what you will see
that’s what you’ll perceive that’s what
you’ll experience if you expect negative
things to happen that’s what will happen
as well so don’t talk about things you
don’t want because your mind is so
powerful it’s this powerful engine that
is sending out vibrations and attracting
into your life people and circumstances
and harmony with the things you’re
saying and the thoughts that you’re
thinking if you’re thinking negative
thoughts you’re attracting those things
into your life so plug in car crashes
and and burglaries and broken dishes and
and ripped hosts and you know all kinds
of things happen if you think negatively
so we say that you are a living magnet
no there’s a second law it’s called the
law of sympathetic resonance now let me
give you an example of the law of
sympathetic resonance which affects your
life if you had two to two pianos in a
large room and she went over and you hit
the note of C sharp on this piano bang
and you walked across the room to the
other piano this is the string of C
sharp would be vibrating in perfect
harmony with the string vibrating on the
piano that you struck are you with me so
far why it’s called sympathetic
resonance now where is sympathetic
resonance especially relevant is when we
meet the right person for ourselves
Khalil Gibran says that there will be a
moment of a recognition at the moment of
meeting instantaneous you walked into a
place and you saw the person and your
eyes met across a crowded luminous
instantaneous well it’s the same thing
the law of attraction is a very
interesting law but says that whatever
thoughts you’re thinking positive or
negative are sending out this force
field of energy that’s attracting into
your life people in circumstances in
harmony with it now I thought energy is
a very fine energy you know if you were
talking about throwing
bullets are basketball she couldn’t get
them through the wall
the thought energy travels at 186,000
miles a second like the speed of light
and it can literally go across the world
is containing ously and through all
substances I’ll give an example of the
law of attraction that you’ve
experienced many times you’re talking to
your friend about somebody else and the
phone rings and it’s them you ever had
that happen and he said we were just
talking about you and the other person
says well I just had this impulse to
phone you this happens throughout your
life if it happened once or twice you
can say well that’s an interesting
coincidence but if it happens repeatedly
throughout your life then you know that
there’s a lot of work so how do you use
the law of sympathetic residents the law
of attraction it’s very simple you keep
your mind on what you want and you think
about what you want in very positive
terms you think about things that make
you happy I think about people that you
love when you think about success
experience interesting difference
between winners and losers can you guess
prior to every sales call or experience
both of them visualize and recall a
memory but winners recall their previous
success experience and how happy they
were about that and non-winners we
recall their previous unhappy experience
and how bad they felt and how they’ve
doubt how depressed they felt and how
unsuccessful and so on so winners think
of their past as this experience and
they set up a force field of energy that
largely creates that experience
sometimes when you walk into a room if
you are really up people turn their head
I mean they’ll the vibrations won’t hit
them they’ll turn their head but notice
that you come into the room so this is
very much determined by the thoughts
that you’re thinking we’ll talk about
this as we go along so the law of
attraction says you’re you’re constantly
attracting easier eyes people
circumstances ideas resources in honor
and harmony and clear dominant thoughts
but it is a neutral law nature’s neutral
in this sense if you think negative
thoughts and worried thoughts and
anxious thoughts and angry thoughts
that’s what you attract into your life
and so so it’s really important that
you’d be aware of that
okay the next law is called the law I’ve
worked through these down here there’s
actually 32 law it’s one of my favorite
it’s called the law of Correspondence I
love this one it’s kind of a summary law
in many ways and it has an equation and
the equation is this this is my favorite
equation remember this for the rest of
your life the law of Correspondence
which is talked about in the New
Testament the Old Testament of many of
the old books simply says as within so
without
as within so without
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what it says is that your entire world
around you is a mirror that reflects
back to you your dominant thoughts you
say wherever you look that there you are
it’s almost like you live in a 360
degree mirror and wherever you look you
see yourself reflected back now the
three or four places where this is most
common is first of all your
relationships
now remember human beings are
extraordinarily sensitive so that if you
have negative thoughts going on about
anything you affect their relationship
as close to instantaneously they’ll pick
it up across the crowded room women by
the way are far better at this than men
men are kind of like blocks of cheese
but women are like high-tech computers
you ever had an experience every man has
had an experience they fall home and say
hi she says what’s wrong that’s all
you’ve said it’s hi her love she said
what’s wrong
is it your boss again how did you know a
woman can pick it up with a single word
you can walk in the door and say hi and
show just cool it’s a vicious reader
with regard to relationships your
relationships almost instantaneously
will show you what’s going on inside
your own thoughts if you’re feeling
happy your relationships will reflect it
a me if you’re unhappy or angry for some
reason they don’t reflect it immediately
a second area by the way has to do with
income is your outer world of income
will be determined by your inner world
of attitude toward money earning
productivity performance and everything
else
with regard to your health your inner
world of attitude toward health food
diet fitness everything else determines
your extra world of health and so and
and and also to success if you believe
that you’re going to be a big success
you believe it on the inside then you’ll
see it it will be reflected back to you
and your other the world remember though
most people look at a mirror if they
don’t like what’s in the mirror they
bang and calm them there but most people
realize that whatever they see in their
outer world is coming from themselves so
they always ask this great question is
what is it in week what is it in me that
is causing what’s going on in my
environment now this is the mark the
question of the superior person the
average person always tries to blame
something in their external environment
or someone past present future so the
next law is called the law of
subconscious activity now the law of
subconscious activity and there’s all
kinds of stuff that is written for a
popular read a lost subconscious
activity basically says that your
subconscious mind functions
automatically it is like clay it takes
the imprint of your conscious thoughts
and then it makes all your words and
actions consistent with your previous
programming it makes your words and
actions consistent with what you’ve put
in in the past so it does not think it
does not create all it does is keeps
everything going your subconscious mind
is also the seat of the autonomic
nervous system which which and handles
and regulates the exact balance of
hundreds of chemicals in every single
one of the hundreds of billions of cells
in your body on a moment-by-moment basis
they say the subconscious mind makes 500
million commands a second I mean that’s
how fast it does it basically keeps a
chemical balance of every single cell in
your body and a perfect level people who
say you know human beings just emerged
out of the primordial muck as a result
of a couple of chemical mixes and a
couple of lightening strikes
really need a checkup from the neck up
because when you look at the incredible
complexity of the human system it’s
literally beyond belief we are so
complicated and if one little thing was
up if one little feature was out in our
eyes not asked at sea either long
distance or sharp dense one little
feature was out in our blood some hearts
veins anything else we will not survive
and you take hundreds of thousands and
millions of these little things that are
so perfectly calibrated lots of research
has done us it’s a phenomenal thing but
anyone is to keep asking your
subconscious activity is subject to
programming it’s sort of like if you
program your computer what are we saying
Daigo sounds for sense for a while
garbage in garbage job but it also means
good in good out so if you reprogram if
you reprogram the commands going to your
subconscious computer get new program
that’s why most programs when they come
off the production line as well well
it’s a defects and so what they do the
professionals go through the engineers
go through in the debug one of the
things we need to do to fulfill our
potential to have high self confidence
just a debug and we need to go back
through and take out all those little
ideas and misconceptions and and
feelings and concepts and beliefs which
are not good system with being happy and
joyous
they say the fruits of the spirit are
joy and self-control and so if you’re
not feeling completely in control of
your world and experiencing joy it means
something wrong with the computer so
what we do is they say up must have
gotten a bug in there and we don’t get
upset about it we say where’s that bug
that we just go to work
sometimes just challenging one thought
can transform your life give you a quick
story once upon a time there was a young
guy grew up in a family his father was a
fortune 500 executive extremely wealthy
this kid grew up yeah everything he had
servants he had money he had everything
else he grew up spoiled beyond belief
and just fought it was busy working and
so on but for one reason rather he grew
up but he’s very spoiled pushy was
arrogant he was rude toward the servants
and for other people and the father
realized he had rate raised a
a little spoiled wasteful type kid
because he never had to work for
anything this life well the young man
went off to college completed college
reasonable grades and then he came back
and he said okay dad get me a job nice
kid
so father said well I will get you a job
the father realized he’d made a mistake
with his son and he wasn’t quite sure
how to help him but he got him a job
with another fortune 500 company and the
young man went to work and after 18
months boss called him and said you’re
fired
we don’t want you around here anymore
your work is a low-level you’re not very
competent you’re fired get out well the
young man was shattered his first job
his friends and got jobs friends working
large companies he comes home he’s been
fired his father said well you know I’ll
see when I get another job so a couple
of months goes by his father gets
another job he goes he works for 18
months at this job this time he works
really hard is it determined not to be
fired after 18 months boss calls him and
says you’re fired
get out of here get out oh no you know
what you’re right here you’re worthless
you’re no good kid goes home and this
time I mean no he’s mid-20s he’s really
upset and angers father’s as well let me
see what I can do I’ll call around and
this time he’d get some another job 18
months later fired for incompetence does
this four times and then the son
discovers when he’s about 28 29 by this
time he’s working hard he’s working long
hours he’s working himself silly so he
could do a great job so he can really
work out and he’s doing a great job it’s
gotten better and better more
disciplined more focused and everything
else but fired four times in a row four
major companies and then he finally
finds somebody lets him slip and they
said well why am I being fired he said
well that was the deal
this said what do you mean deal he said
well the deal was I told your father I
put you on for 18 months and he agreed
as long as I would fire you at the end
of 18 months I’ll say you’ve done a
fantastic job here one of the best
people we’ve ever seen but that was the
deal this young man went home and he was
so he knows in his late thirties he is
so mad he gets into a fighting con
shouting contest with his father he
swears that any cidade that’s it he said
I will never talk to you I will never
have anything you the rest of my life he
walks out leaves gets his own job this
time with a fortune 500 company becomes
a crack executive moves up to a senior
position he’s well paid well respected
and the age of 38 he’s still mad he’s
talking to his spouse there’s on the
house and one but his father and his
father did although we were his 20s long
and his spouse is my said honey did you
ever think that maybe your father loved
you so much he was willing to put you
through all of that knowing you’d end up
hating him but he did that to make you
the kind of man that you’d become today
and it was just like a walk in the face
and suddenly the son realized in all
honesty he was a jerk when he came out
of school and then now he was a
successful highly respected person and
it would never have happened in the
absence of those experiences so he went
to his father’s house 38 years old
father’s about 60 something where did
his father and it confronted him and
said is this true and he said yes he
said I hated to do what he said but I
realized I made a mistake in raising you
and I had to compensate for it I had to
make you the kind of person that you
could be and it would only happen with
adversity and so I was willing to lose
you in order to save you and they
embraced and they became the best of
friends
for the rest of their lives true story
by the to story so we don’t know what my
point there was what he did from being
angry to the age of 38 he changed his
perspective and realized
what happened was a good thing who was
happened was done out of love and not of
thought of on kindness my friend Wayne
Dyer has a soul one-liner he said it’s
never too late to have a happy childhood
it’s never too late to have a happy
childhood the work at the University of
Pennsylvania says basically that we see
the world based on what it’s called our
interpretive style and your interpretive
style is the way you interpret things to
yourself so if you change the way you
interpret things to yourself your
attitude toward everything changes so
here’s the 7th law and the 7th law is
the law of habit and the long habit says
that whatever you do repeatedly over and
over again becomes a new habit so you
can develop any emotional habit you can
develop an emotional habit of confidence
of optimism of happiness of joy of
positive expectancy you can develop a
mental habit by simply repeating certain
things over and over again until you’re
doing I’m going to show you how to do
that so here’s the bottom line and the
bottom line you take all these habits
together all these mental principles
together is that you become what you
think about most of the time you become
what you think about most of the time
you know so what you think about
fleetingly that passes through your mind
but it’s what you think about most of
the time is Emerson said unanimity is
what he thinks about all day long so the
question is what do you think about most
of the time and the rule is if you
change your thinking you change your
life if you change your thinking you
change your life and there is no other
way
and this brings us to the greatest
discovery of the 20th century the
discovery of the self-concept I call
this the master program and each person
has a self concept and this self concept
is a combination of all your thoughts
feelings beliefs doubts hopes fears and
experiences throughout your entire life
that come together to make you the kind
of person you are today now we know that
the only thing that is unique about you
is your mind everything else the human
being has in common with a horse or a
monkey the only thing that you have that
makes you distinct and unique is your
mind and every single person is
completely different because every
single person has had hundreds of
thousands of different experiences at
different times to which they’ve
responded and interpreted differently so
your mind is unique in all the world
there could not be two of you there are
50 billion human beings and what they
discovered was the self-concept and what
we found is that your performance and
your effectiveness is determined by your
self-concept how you perform and behave
on the outside how you treat with other
people what you accomplish is all
determined by your internal programming
so if I give you a little bit of a graph
here here’s a graph we say that your
level of effectiveness is determined by
your self-concept how effective you are
as a person as a salesperson as a parent
as a spouse as a friend as a writer
whatever you do your self-concept and
your level of effectiveness have a
one-to-one relationship you’ve also
heard it that said that the average
person uses only 10% of their potential
well this means that there’s fully 90%
of your potential left untapped
some people only use a small part of
their potential but imagine that you
could earn twice as much three times as
much five times as much just by using
more of your potential well according to
the Stanford Brain Institute they did
some studies on this who actually could
ever studies the average person really
only use about 2% of their potential
they’re saving up the rest for some good
purpose that we don’t know yet but the
average person functions on 2% 2% gets
you the entire quality of your life that
you have today that means by the way
average is 2% some are less than that
some use less than that and what we do
is we use it to get up in the morning
brush our teeth go to work a home watch
television but we don’t use it for very
much that’s but that’s just pretend and
say we use 10% of our potential that
means that your self-concept is limited
to only 10% as well we also know that
each person has a series of many
self-concepts
now you have a self-concept for every
part of your life or work that you
consider to be important for example you
have a self-concept for every sport that
you play you have a self-concept for how
well you sell you have a self-concept
for how you dress and for how much you
weigh you have a self-concept for your
creative ability and your memory your
ability to tell stories your sense of
humor
you have a self-concept for your
appearance you have a self-concept for
any kind of musical instrument or
anything else you do you have a
self-concept for how much money you are
what they found is that every person has
a self-concept which is like a
thermostat and this self-concept with
regard to money you never go more than
10% above or below your self-concept
level of income if you earn 10% or more
above yourself concept level of income
you immediately go into what I call
throwaway behaviors you do everything
possible to get rid of the money you
give it away you spend it you go out for
dinner you buy champagne you order
drinks for everybody at the bar that’s
why if ever you win a prize or something
the very first thing you think if let’s
go on a vacation buy a motor home get
some jewelry and
68% of people who win the lottery are
broke again within three years they have
more money than ever had in their life
but it takes them so far out of their
self-concept that they go just like a
rocket that goes off course it starts to
spin and they go crazy so if they but if
you earn 10% or more below your
self-concept level of income you engage
are what are called scrambling behaviors
and you scramble to get your income back
up but once you’re into that 10% range
well plus or minus you relax and this
becomes your comfort zone this becomes
your comfort zone and the great enemy of
human success is the comfort zone in
this comfort zone you’re comfortable you
may not be happy with the amount that
you’re earning but you just become
comfortable with that amount the only
way that you can increase your income is
to change your self-concept in
relationship to income and what we know
is that your overall self-concept is
determined by your self-concept in all
the areas of your life that you consider
important we also know this is that your
self-concept is made up of three parts
again this is basic behavioral
psychology number one it’s made up of
yourself ideal now your self ideal like
three wedges of a pie consists of your
values it consists of your ideals it
consists of your goals consist of your
hopes consist of your dreams consist of
all those things that are inside you and
what we know is that there’s a direct
relationship between how clear you are
about your goals and ideals and your
self idea what do we know about talk
people talk people are clear about what
they believe it and they don’t
compromise their values what are you
know about little people weak people is
they’re very confused about their values
and they compromise them for the
slightest advantage so my point is that
that people with a very clear self idea
much stronger and more powerful people
than people who are unclear about their
ideals and the second part of your
self-concept is called your self-image
and you know hundreds of books on
self-image psychology but basically what
they say is their self-image is the way
you see about yourself and the way you
think about yourself your self-image is
called your inner mirror whenever you go
to do anything you check this mirror
like a stage performer check in the
mirror before they go on the stage
before you’re going to see somebody in a
sales call just kind of check your inner
mirror to see how do I perform in sales
calls and your performance on the
outside is largely determined by
yourself image one to one end of that
ratio the third part of your
self-concept is your self-esteem now
your self-esteem is the most important
part of all this is the emotional part
of your personality this is what I call
the nuclear reactor core this is the end
of the energy source this is the power
in the human personality your level of
self esteem determines your level of
vitality energy personality sense of
humor creativity personal strength
influence persuasiveness and so on so
your self esteem is critical and your
self esteem is his D is defined as how
much you like yourself how much you like
yourself is the measure of your self
esteem how much you like yourself here’s
an interesting point is whatever you
your self esteem yourself image your
personal performance is consistent with
yourself ideal the person that you would
most like to be your self-esteem goes up
whatever you do anything is consistent
with the best person you could be you
feel happy you feel proud just have
greater self-respect you have more
energy whenever you do something that’s
not like you you blow up you get mad you
swear you do something that you know
that’s not consistent with the best
person you could be your self-esteem
takes a hit but when you start to act in
a way consistent with the best that you
know your self-esteem goes up well
here’s the most important part going
down here is we say that the most
powerful words you’ll ever learn
are the words I like myself I like
myself I like myself
whatever you say the words I like myself
your overall self-concept goes up your
self-image improves and your self ideal
clarifies and as yourself as your self
content goes up your performance in your
behavior every part of your life goes up
as well
they say the flipside of self esteem
like a coin is called self efficacy in
psychology itself advocacies how
confident you are so whatever you do
something well your self-esteem goes up
and you like yourself more and more you
like yourself the better you do and the
better you do the more you like yourself
and the more you like yourself the
better you do and you get on to an
upward spiral so what we found is almost
powerful words that you can use prior to
any event of importance other words I
like myself say it say I like myself
now say like you mean say I like myself
now you notice the first time you say it
I went through this many many years ago
first time you say you may be a little
uncomfortable some of you didn’t say it
with too much enthusiasm you know you
said it because everybody else was
saying it but you felt a little bit
guilty like undeserving like that’s you
know a little bit it’s not quite white
well that’s perfectly normal
it’s perfectly normal what it means is
somebody’s programmed some kind of
defect into your computer a piece of
negative information that’s inconsistent
with liking yourself and what happens
it’s called cognitive dissonance in
psychology the new message hits the old
garbage angle goes bang like a bang and
it creates a stress and the stress is
felt like a feeling of disco
[Music]
you
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and personal success I wanted to start
off with and the question is what one
great thing would your dare to dream if
you knew you could not fail now that’s a
great question if you were absolutely
guaranteed a success in any goal big or
small short or long-term if you could
wave a magic wand
take a pill that you’d be absolutely
guaranteed what one goal would you set
for yourself and when you ask that
question usually big goals come into
your mind you’d be written it should be
famous
you’d be powerful but when you ask the
question what happens is you start to
realize that it is fear that holds us
back more than anything else because if
you’re absolutely guaranteed of success
you’d be unstoppable I mean you would be
a force of nature if someone were to put
a blessing on you and say that you are
indestructible and you could accomplish
any goal you’ve ever set for yourself
who what different things would you do
now when I started off I came from a
poor family I say I came by my feelings
of guilt and unworthiness honestly
because I was raised by a Catholic
mother and I grew up with no
self-confidence no self-esteem why I
kicked was kicked out of school several
times I misbehaved I ended up spending
half of my school and the library
because I was kicked out of courses I
left school and the twelfth grade and
got a job as a dishwasher worked as a
labourer lived in my car dug ditches and
things like that so I had no self-esteem
and I began studying the subject over
the years and I found that your level of
self confidence how much confidence you
have in yourself to be do accomplish
something where do you determine the
whole quality of your life so what I
found is that there’s a direct
relationship between how high your level
of self-confidence is and your level of
sales one-on-one relationship with these
self-confidence in selling success isn’t
selling you’ve got to be bold
you’ve got to be courageous you’ve got
to take rejection and disappointment
you’ve got to get up there you’ve got to
face up all your fears in order to get
appointments you’ve got to face your
fears and learn to ask for
so self-confidence is critical
self-confidence is essential in business
because it’s impossible to even start a
business to arrange a bank loan to set
up customers to hire people to do all
the things that are necessary in
business require self-confidence also
what we found is that your level of
self-confidence is the critical factor
in your level of sex appeal is that the
more confidence you are the more
appealing you are to other people the
more confident you are actually the more
magnetism you have that’s why actors and
actresses who seem to be extremely
confident have a certain amount of
magnetism so it’s only it’s very
important for us to make us feel happy
it affects and empowers other people it
causes people to treat us differently we
make more sales we make more money we
marry better we’re better and more
effective socially self-confidence is
everything and so I began studying when
my self confident was confidence is very
very low
and I began looking at the subject of
self-confidence I find that there’s
three factors that either fear with our
self confidence number one factor is
doubt and fear doubt and fear this is
really the greatest problem that human
beings have throughout all of history
throughout all the books of religious
and spiritual works and philosophy and
psychology fear and doubt doubt and fear
hold us back more than anything else and
then second of all its feelings of guilt
and unworthiness feelings of guilt and
unworthiness and these are universal and
then finally number three is we have
feelings of inferiority and undeserving
as’ it’s absolutely amazing they’ve done
they’ve done lots of work with AIDS
patients and they find that some people
who have AIDS live for years and years
and years and some died and they found
that the critical thing is the feeling
of worthlessness is people come down
with the disease and they feel that
there’s something wrong with them and
they lose their heart Viktor Frankl when
he was in the Nazi death camps at
Auschwitz said as long as people
believed in something they stayed alive
as soon as they stopped believing they
just died and so we all have these
feelings in fact the feeling of
undeserving this is one of the dirty
little secrets that we have with regard
to success is you’ve heard the old
expression fear of success
so no such thing as fear of success
that’s just a pop suggestion it’s
feelings of undeserving us we don’t feel
like we’re worth it and so people who
unconsciously don’t feel that they’re
worth very much they will work very hard
on the outside to achieve success and
then they’ll sabotage themselves so
these are the big three is but and where
do doubts and fears come from where does
guilt and unworthiness come from imagine
if you had no doubt at all completely
self-confident no fears at all is if you
felt fabulous about yourself and your
ability to accomplish things if you felt
like you deserve all good things in the
world think how much different you would
be and then you look at people who are
really successful and happy and that’s
the way they are and
that happens nobody starts out that way
so I began studying this and this is
really what got me going and I have now
been teaching for 25 years but I began
but these very principles were talking
about today so what we know is that in
motion all habits including emotional
habits are learned and this is an
interesting concept that came about the
study that works it was Spencer who
wrote the turn of the last century but
emotional habits or ways of feeling ways
of responding emotionally are all
learned they are not fixed they’re
almost like vagrant emotions they have
no home in the subconscious if they were
fixed and certain phobias and certain
mental illness is fixed if they were
fixed they’re locked it you can’t get
them out but as it happens 99.9% of our
emotional responses especially negative
ones are actually unlearning you can
actually diffuse them you can actually
pull the wires that keep them from seed
and give birth and if you couldn’t get
rid of them of course you could never
improve but the very fact that you can’t
and get rid of them means that you could
accomplish anything
so I began studying success I got into
sales how many people here in sales well
I got into what I couldn’t get away
green job as well so I got into sales
and I spun my wheels and I finally began
asking the question why is it that some
salespeople are more successful than
others what I learned which turn my life
around which you’ve heard before is the
law of cause and effect and the law of
cause and effect says that for every
effect in your life bearing this going
on this cost that we live in a universe
that is governed by law this is often
called the iron law of the University
iron law human destiny because it says
that everything that is happening to you
is happening for a reason so law of
cause and effect says that if you can be
clear about an effect that you desire
you can trace it back
and by finding someone else who’s gotten
that effect if you do the same things
that they do over over again you’ll get
the same result well the great practice
of the great application of the law of
cause and effect which has been the
foundation principle of human society
psychology religion philosophy
metaphysics and so on is the thoughts or
causes thoughts are causes and
conditions are effects and this is an
extraordinary extraordinary breakthrough
because most people believe falsely that
their situation in life is determined by
factors outside of themselves I’ll come
back to this later because it’s very
important whereas the fact is that our
thoughts which is the only thing that we
control and which we do control
determine everything that happens to us
in life they determine the quality of
our life the quality of our
relationships the quality of our health
how long we live how much money we earn
the home we live in the friends and
social relationships we have a level of
happiness and self-confidence thoughts
are causes and conditions of effects and
over the last 5,000 years a series of
mental laws has been have been
discovered in fact back before the time
of Christ there were what we’re called
mystery schools and mystery schools were
schools of people who would withdraw to
the mountains and they would study for
years and over the course of the years
they would be taught these principles
today the great findings of the mystery
schools are available to us simplest
gumdrops and newspapers but 99.9% people
have not discovered them so I want to
give you some of the discoveries in the
mystery schools which many people today
are rediscovering Anglos like a teenager
discovering sex I mean the wild never
seen before so the second law discovered
in the mystery schools was the law of
belief
the law of belief has a great cultural
heritage is the foundation of virtually
all religions and all philosophies and
it basically says this is whatever you
believe with feeling becomes your your
reality whatever you believe with
feeling becomes your reality if you
strongly believe it your mind actually
sorts out and creates almost a strainer
effect and you see the world through
what it’s called the screen of beliefs
you do not see the world as it is as the
writer and Asin once said you see the
world as you want and you act absent
that you actually deliberately ignore
things that are inconsistent with your
beliefs and you only see things that are
consistent with your beliefs so
therefore the law of belief is very
powerful now here’s the great tragedy is
some people have beliefs and we don’t
need to go into geopolitics but some
people have beliefs that are first of
all not based on reality they are based
on completely false information which
they’re passionately attached to and
which are life destroying as opposed to
life enhancing I don’t pass judgment on
anybody’s belief but the way you could
pass judgment on your own beliefs is
does it make you happy and as it has
enhance the quality of your life and
your relationships I’ll give you an
example when I had my first child many
years ago one of the child psychology
books about raising children said the
role of the parent is to break the will
of the child at an early age and as it
happened that was a common teaching in
the 20s 30s 40s even into the 50s is
that children if they’re too willful
will not respond well to instructions
from their parents so that the parents
job is to break the will of the child
well you can imagine we have a lot of
growing people in our society who were
raised by parents with that idea and
they’re broken people they’re angry
they’re drunk they’re alcoholic they’re
overweight they’re frustrated and so on
and so forth because at a very early age
bygone calls they were
so the law of belief says that we act on
based on our beliefs even though we have
self-limiting beliefs here’s a very
interesting point is that no one’s born
with any beliefs every belief you have
about yourself your potential the world
religion politics people anything every
belief you had you had to be taught
meticulously with very careful
instruction repeated over and over again
the worst of all beliefs are
self-limiting beliefs
now self-limiting beliefs are beliefs
were you believe yourself to be limited
in some way and so the starting point
point to our using the law of belief on
your behalf this first of all you ask
yourself what beliefs would it be useful
or helpful to me to have and imagine
that you can go to the beliefs store and
buy a belief like a piece of software
and programmed it into your harddrive so
it became part of your operating system
but you can only choose one belief what
would be a good belief to buy that’s
that you can do all things do you think
about and want to do that’s balls dead
on sir you’re then going well friend of
mine spent dad’s 18 years studying the
biographies of more than 500 men and
women who had started with nothing and
became successful and he was looking for
the common denominator of success and he
found it he found that every single one
of these people throughout their lives
absolutely believed that they were going
to be a big success
they absolutely believed they were going
to be a big success when they grew up
and no matter what happened to them in
their adult lives and they never lost
sight of that like the three wise men
following the star they felt that
everything that happened was part of the
process every setback was a lesson every
pain was something sent to teach them
something that would be helpful and they
never stopped believing in themselves so
if you could buy one belief the belief
is this is that you are destined to be a
fixed
success that you have incredible tech
potential that you’re surrounded by
incredible opportunities and that you’re
going to be a huge success in life and
everything that’s happened up there now
is part of your preparation so challenge
yourself limiting beliefs don’t ever say
I can’t do that well I’m not good at
that or something else no way to say
wait that’s totally false
what if deep down what if you have deep
down inside again the ability that’s
extraordinary something that’s important
to you but it’s skiing or skydiving or
mathematics or or or selling or earning
money or running a business you probably
have more ability than you can dream
them but don’t sell yourself short
now in the Bible it says according to
your faith that is done unto you it’s
one of the most important principles the
New Testament the Old Testament said as
a man thinketh in his heart and the
heart stands for the subconscious mind
which means a deep belief so easy or so
she William James says beliefs create
the actual fact is if you have the
belief that actually becomes the fact
because you always act in a manner
consistent with a belief and as a result
to get the results consistent with your
actions and you can control your beliefs
is it easy to change your beliefs
especially all negative no it’s not easy
is it possible absolutely
is it easy to lose weight no is it
possible of course it is now the number
three law is called the law of
expectation now the law of expectation
there is an entire field in economics
called expectations theory there’s an
entire field in psychology called
expectations theory your expectations
largely determine the quality of your
life in this sense is that whatever you
expect with confidence becomes your
self-fulfilling prophecy whatever you
expect with confidence becomes your own
self-fulfilling prophecy in other words
you are always telling your future by
the way you talk about how you think
things are going to turn out you are
like a fortune teller and you’re a lot
and if you believe that things are going
to turn out well if you expect that is
you’re not welcome by gun they do if you
believe that you’re going to be popular
and the people are going to buy and that
you have a great product and a great
company you’re going to have a great
life and you’re going to be accepted and
we see well received by people and then
you act that way so it’s very very
important that you always expect the
best and this is the key expect the best
expect the best expect the best of
yourself expect the best of other people
but especially expect expect the best of
people who look up to you one of the
discoveries at Harvard University is
that there’s two qualities of
child-raising that raise happy healthy
kids two qualities by the way that raise
happy healthy powerful business teams as
well and sales teams number one is a
democratic environment a democratic
environment is where everybody is
welcome to express their opinions and
people discuss and debate and get
feedback and so on and so forth and they
make their decisions based on consensus
so if everybody feels valuable and
important and respect that’s number one
for kids it’s phenomenal evidence my
kids have been little I always ask for
their opinion what would you like to do
where would you like to go now as they
grow up
we take turns what would you like to go
for dinner would you like to go and so
on and the kids decide and now when
they’re adults they feel that their
opinion is valid when they meet with
other adults they feel that their
opinion is because I’ve been trained all
their lives that their videos were
something so number one is a democratic
environment
number two is a climate of positive
expectations is their parents will
expect their kids to do well very
successful person when you go on you’re
going to you’re gonna get good grades we
mix the best of your turn children wise
to your expectations they may argue with
you that maybe Jack
discount your positive statements cuz
you’re a parent but it affects about an
unconscious helpful well you remember
really now wonderful line from a
journalist he said my father was not
very talkative he said there’s a good
man but he didn’t talk very much but I
do remember him saying one thing which
affected my whole life he said son I
expect you to do something worthwhile
with your life when you grow up he said
I still remember that because whenever
it came up he’d say son whatever you do
I expect you to do something worthwhile
with your life when you grow up
he said that rang in my mind all my life
he said I serve him all my life to do
something worthwhile with my life just
because of the positive expectations so
it’s really important telling people
that you expect the best of them if
you’re married telling your spouse that
you believe in them and that you expect
the best and you believe that be
successful if they’re not successful
then they’ll learn something they’ll be
successful next time repeating that over
and over again there’s some greatest and
blessing that a person can have
okay so expect the best I expect the
best of other people expect the best of
yourself too okay now this the fourth
law the fourth law is the law of
attraction now the law of attraction is
getting you know a lot of traction today
a lot of buzz the law of attraction has
been around it was discovered first
written about 3,000 years before Christ
the law of attraction is very
interesting law that combines with the
other laws that it says that each person
is a living magnet now with along with
the law of attraction there’s a couple
of other laws one one is called the law
of vibration and the law of vibration as
you know everything in the physical
universe is in vibration even thoughts
now what causes the thought to vibrate
is the emotional component of the
thought a thought with no emotion has
just lost there an emotion with no
thinking is just out of control like a
random molecule but a thought which is
impelled by an emotion sets a force
field of energy that
tracks into your life people ideas and
resources necessary to achieve the
thought and the more powerful the
emotion the faster it comes into action
now the interesting thing is all these
laws are neutral if you believe negative
things then that’s what you will see
that’s what you’ll perceive that’s what
you’ll experience if you expect negative
things to happen that’s what will happen
as well so don’t talk about things you
don’t want because your mind is so
powerful it’s this powerful engine that
is sending out vibrations and attracting
into your life people and circumstances
and harmony with the things you’re
saying and the thoughts that you’re
thinking if you’re thinking negative
thoughts you’re attracting those things
into your life so plug in car crashes
and and burglaries and broken dishes and
and ripped hosts and you know all kinds
of things happen if you think negatively
so we say that you are a living magnet
no there’s a second law it’s called the
law of sympathetic resonance now let me
give you an example of the law of
sympathetic resonance which affects your
life if you had two to two pianos in a
large room and she went over and you hit
the note of C sharp on this piano bang
and you walked across the room to the
other piano this is the string of C
sharp would be vibrating in perfect
harmony with the string vibrating on the
piano that you struck are you with me so
far why it’s called sympathetic
resonance now where is sympathetic
resonance especially relevant is when we
meet the right person for ourselves
Khalil Gibran says that there will be a
moment of a recognition at the moment of
meeting instantaneous you walked into a
place and you saw the person and your
eyes met across a crowded luminous
instantaneous well it’s the same thing
the law of attraction is a very
interesting law but says that whatever
thoughts you’re thinking positive or
negative are sending out this force
field of energy that’s attracting into
your life people in circumstances in
harmony with it now I thought energy is
a very fine energy you know if you were
talking about throwing
bullets are basketball she couldn’t get
them through the wall
the thought energy travels at 186,000
miles a second like the speed of light
and it can literally go across the world
is containing ously and through all
substances I’ll give an example of the
law of attraction that you’ve
experienced many times you’re talking to
your friend about somebody else and the
phone rings and it’s them you ever had
that happen and he said we were just
talking about you and the other person
says well I just had this impulse to
phone you this happens throughout your
life if it happened once or twice you
can say well that’s an interesting
coincidence but if it happens repeatedly
throughout your life then you know that
there’s a lot of work so how do you use
the law of sympathetic residents the law
of attraction it’s very simple you keep
your mind on what you want and you think
about what you want in very positive
terms you think about things that make
you happy I think about people that you
love when you think about success
experience interesting difference
between winners and losers can you guess
prior to every sales call or experience
both of them visualize and recall a
memory but winners recall their previous
success experience and how happy they
were about that and non-winners we
recall their previous unhappy experience
and how bad they felt and how they’ve
doubt how depressed they felt and how
unsuccessful and so on so winners think
of their past as this experience and
they set up a force field of energy that
largely creates that experience
sometimes when you walk into a room if
you are really up people turn their head
I mean they’ll the vibrations won’t hit
them they’ll turn their head but notice
that you come into the room so this is
very much determined by the thoughts
that you’re thinking we’ll talk about
this as we go along so the law of
attraction says you’re you’re constantly
attracting easier eyes people
circumstances ideas resources in honor
and harmony and clear dominant thoughts
but it is a neutral law nature’s neutral
in this sense if you think negative
thoughts and worried thoughts and
anxious thoughts and angry thoughts
that’s what you attract into your life
and so so it’s really important that
you’d be aware of that
okay the next law is called the law I’ve
worked through these down here there’s
actually 32 law it’s one of my favorite
it’s called the law of Correspondence I
love this one it’s kind of a summary law
in many ways and it has an equation and
the equation is this this is my favorite
equation remember this for the rest of
your life the law of Correspondence
which is talked about in the New
Testament the Old Testament of many of
the old books simply says as within so
without
as within so without
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what it says is that your entire world
around you is a mirror that reflects
back to you your dominant thoughts you
say wherever you look that there you are
it’s almost like you live in a 360
degree mirror and wherever you look you
see yourself reflected back now the
three or four places where this is most
common is first of all your
relationships
now remember human beings are
extraordinarily sensitive so that if you
have negative thoughts going on about
anything you affect their relationship
as close to instantaneously they’ll pick
it up across the crowded room women by
the way are far better at this than men
men are kind of like blocks of cheese
but women are like high-tech computers
you ever had an experience every man has
had an experience they fall home and say
hi she says what’s wrong that’s all
you’ve said it’s hi her love she said
what’s wrong
is it your boss again how did you know a
woman can pick it up with a single word
you can walk in the door and say hi and
show just cool it’s a vicious reader
with regard to relationships your
relationships almost instantaneously
will show you what’s going on inside
your own thoughts if you’re feeling
happy your relationships will reflect it
a me if you’re unhappy or angry for some
reason they don’t reflect it immediately
a second area by the way has to do with
income is your outer world of income
will be determined by your inner world
of attitude toward money earning
productivity performance and everything
else
with regard to your health your inner
world of attitude toward health food
diet fitness everything else determines
your extra world of health and so and
and and also to success if you believe
that you’re going to be a big success
you believe it on the inside then you’ll
see it it will be reflected back to you
and your other the world remember though
most people look at a mirror if they
don’t like what’s in the mirror they
bang and calm them there but most people
realize that whatever they see in their
outer world is coming from themselves so
they always ask this great question is
what is it in week what is it in me that
is causing what’s going on in my
environment now this is the mark the
question of the superior person the
average person always tries to blame
something in their external environment
or someone past present future so the
next law is called the law of
subconscious activity now the law of
subconscious activity and there’s all
kinds of stuff that is written for a
popular read a lost subconscious
activity basically says that your
subconscious mind functions
automatically it is like clay it takes
the imprint of your conscious thoughts
and then it makes all your words and
actions consistent with your previous
programming it makes your words and
actions consistent with what you’ve put
in in the past so it does not think it
does not create all it does is keeps
everything going your subconscious mind
is also the seat of the autonomic
nervous system which which and handles
and regulates the exact balance of
hundreds of chemicals in every single
one of the hundreds of billions of cells
in your body on a moment-by-moment basis
they say the subconscious mind makes 500
million commands a second I mean that’s
how fast it does it basically keeps a
chemical balance of every single cell in
your body and a perfect level people who
say you know human beings just emerged
out of the primordial muck as a result
of a couple of chemical mixes and a
couple of lightening strikes
really need a checkup from the neck up
because when you look at the incredible
complexity of the human system it’s
literally beyond belief we are so
complicated and if one little thing was
up if one little feature was out in our
eyes not asked at sea either long
distance or sharp dense one little
feature was out in our blood some hearts
veins anything else we will not survive
and you take hundreds of thousands and
millions of these little things that are
so perfectly calibrated lots of research
has done us it’s a phenomenal thing but
anyone is to keep asking your
subconscious activity is subject to
programming it’s sort of like if you
program your computer what are we saying
Daigo sounds for sense for a while
garbage in garbage job but it also means
good in good out so if you reprogram if
you reprogram the commands going to your
subconscious computer get new program
that’s why most programs when they come
off the production line as well well
it’s a defects and so what they do the
professionals go through the engineers
go through in the debug one of the
things we need to do to fulfill our
potential to have high self confidence
just a debug and we need to go back
through and take out all those little
ideas and misconceptions and and
feelings and concepts and beliefs which
are not good system with being happy and
joyous
they say the fruits of the spirit are
joy and self-control and so if you’re
not feeling completely in control of
your world and experiencing joy it means
something wrong with the computer so
what we do is they say up must have
gotten a bug in there and we don’t get
upset about it we say where’s that bug
that we just go to work
sometimes just challenging one thought
can transform your life give you a quick
story once upon a time there was a young
guy grew up in a family his father was a
fortune 500 executive extremely wealthy
this kid grew up yeah everything he had
servants he had money he had everything
else he grew up spoiled beyond belief
and just fought it was busy working and
so on but for one reason rather he grew
up but he’s very spoiled pushy was
arrogant he was rude toward the servants
and for other people and the father
realized he had rate raised a
a little spoiled wasteful type kid
because he never had to work for
anything this life well the young man
went off to college completed college
reasonable grades and then he came back
and he said okay dad get me a job nice
kid
so father said well I will get you a job
the father realized he’d made a mistake
with his son and he wasn’t quite sure
how to help him but he got him a job
with another fortune 500 company and the
young man went to work and after 18
months boss called him and said you’re
fired
we don’t want you around here anymore
your work is a low-level you’re not very
competent you’re fired get out well the
young man was shattered his first job
his friends and got jobs friends working
large companies he comes home he’s been
fired his father said well you know I’ll
see when I get another job so a couple
of months goes by his father gets
another job he goes he works for 18
months at this job this time he works
really hard is it determined not to be
fired after 18 months boss calls him and
says you’re fired
get out of here get out oh no you know
what you’re right here you’re worthless
you’re no good kid goes home and this
time I mean no he’s mid-20s he’s really
upset and angers father’s as well let me
see what I can do I’ll call around and
this time he’d get some another job 18
months later fired for incompetence does
this four times and then the son
discovers when he’s about 28 29 by this
time he’s working hard he’s working long
hours he’s working himself silly so he
could do a great job so he can really
work out and he’s doing a great job it’s
gotten better and better more
disciplined more focused and everything
else but fired four times in a row four
major companies and then he finally
finds somebody lets him slip and they
said well why am I being fired he said
well that was the deal
this said what do you mean deal he said
well the deal was I told your father I
put you on for 18 months and he agreed
as long as I would fire you at the end
of 18 months I’ll say you’ve done a
fantastic job here one of the best
people we’ve ever seen but that was the
deal this young man went home and he was
so he knows in his late thirties he is
so mad he gets into a fighting con
shouting contest with his father he
swears that any cidade that’s it he said
I will never talk to you I will never
have anything you the rest of my life he
walks out leaves gets his own job this
time with a fortune 500 company becomes
a crack executive moves up to a senior
position he’s well paid well respected
and the age of 38 he’s still mad he’s
talking to his spouse there’s on the
house and one but his father and his
father did although we were his 20s long
and his spouse is my said honey did you
ever think that maybe your father loved
you so much he was willing to put you
through all of that knowing you’d end up
hating him but he did that to make you
the kind of man that you’d become today
and it was just like a walk in the face
and suddenly the son realized in all
honesty he was a jerk when he came out
of school and then now he was a
successful highly respected person and
it would never have happened in the
absence of those experiences so he went
to his father’s house 38 years old
father’s about 60 something where did
his father and it confronted him and
said is this true and he said yes he
said I hated to do what he said but I
realized I made a mistake in raising you
and I had to compensate for it I had to
make you the kind of person that you
could be and it would only happen with
adversity and so I was willing to lose
you in order to save you and they
embraced and they became the best of
friends
for the rest of their lives true story
by the to story so we don’t know what my
point there was what he did from being
angry to the age of 38 he changed his
perspective and realized
what happened was a good thing who was
happened was done out of love and not of
thought of on kindness my friend Wayne
Dyer has a soul one-liner he said it’s
never too late to have a happy childhood
it’s never too late to have a happy
childhood the work at the University of
Pennsylvania says basically that we see
the world based on what it’s called our
interpretive style and your interpretive
style is the way you interpret things to
yourself so if you change the way you
interpret things to yourself your
attitude toward everything changes so
here’s the 7th law and the 7th law is
the law of habit and the long habit says
that whatever you do repeatedly over and
over again becomes a new habit so you
can develop any emotional habit you can
develop an emotional habit of confidence
of optimism of happiness of joy of
positive expectancy you can develop a
mental habit by simply repeating certain
things over and over again until you’re
doing I’m going to show you how to do
that so here’s the bottom line and the
bottom line you take all these habits
together all these mental principles
together is that you become what you
think about most of the time you become
what you think about most of the time
you know so what you think about
fleetingly that passes through your mind
but it’s what you think about most of
the time is Emerson said unanimity is
what he thinks about all day long so the
question is what do you think about most
of the time and the rule is if you
change your thinking you change your
life if you change your thinking you
change your life and there is no other
way
and this brings us to the greatest
discovery of the 20th century the
discovery of the self-concept I call
this the master program and each person
has a self concept and this self concept
is a combination of all your thoughts
feelings beliefs doubts hopes fears and
experiences throughout your entire life
that come together to make you the kind
of person you are today now we know that
the only thing that is unique about you
is your mind everything else the human
being has in common with a horse or a
monkey the only thing that you have that
makes you distinct and unique is your
mind and every single person is
completely different because every
single person has had hundreds of
thousands of different experiences at
different times to which they’ve
responded and interpreted differently so
your mind is unique in all the world
there could not be two of you there are
50 billion human beings and what they
discovered was the self-concept and what
we found is that your performance and
your effectiveness is determined by your
self-concept how you perform and behave
on the outside how you treat with other
people what you accomplish is all
determined by your internal programming
so if I give you a little bit of a graph
here here’s a graph we say that your
level of effectiveness is determined by
your self-concept how effective you are
as a person as a salesperson as a parent
as a spouse as a friend as a writer
whatever you do your self-concept and
your level of effectiveness have a
one-to-one relationship you’ve also
heard it that said that the average
person uses only 10% of their potential
well this means that there’s fully 90%
of your potential left untapped
some people only use a small part of
their potential but imagine that you
could earn twice as much three times as
much five times as much just by using
more of your potential well according to
the Stanford Brain Institute they did
some studies on this who actually could
ever studies the average person really
only use about 2% of their potential
they’re saving up the rest for some good
purpose that we don’t know yet but the
average person functions on 2% 2% gets
you the entire quality of your life that
you have today that means by the way
average is 2% some are less than that
some use less than that and what we do
is we use it to get up in the morning
brush our teeth go to work a home watch
television but we don’t use it for very
much that’s but that’s just pretend and
say we use 10% of our potential that
means that your self-concept is limited
to only 10% as well we also know that
each person has a series of many
self-concepts
now you have a self-concept for every
part of your life or work that you
consider to be important for example you
have a self-concept for every sport that
you play you have a self-concept for how
well you sell you have a self-concept
for how you dress and for how much you
weigh you have a self-concept for your
creative ability and your memory your
ability to tell stories your sense of
humor
you have a self-concept for your
appearance you have a self-concept for
any kind of musical instrument or
anything else you do you have a
self-concept for how much money you are
what they found is that every person has
a self-concept which is like a
thermostat and this self-concept with
regard to money you never go more than
10% above or below your self-concept
level of income if you earn 10% or more
above yourself concept level of income
you immediately go into what I call
throwaway behaviors you do everything
possible to get rid of the money you
give it away you spend it you go out for
dinner you buy champagne you order
drinks for everybody at the bar that’s
why if ever you win a prize or something
the very first thing you think if let’s
go on a vacation buy a motor home get
some jewelry and
68% of people who win the lottery are
broke again within three years they have
more money than ever had in their life
but it takes them so far out of their
self-concept that they go just like a
rocket that goes off course it starts to
spin and they go crazy so if they but if
you earn 10% or more below your
self-concept level of income you engage
are what are called scrambling behaviors
and you scramble to get your income back
up but once you’re into that 10% range
well plus or minus you relax and this
becomes your comfort zone this becomes
your comfort zone and the great enemy of
human success is the comfort zone in
this comfort zone you’re comfortable you
may not be happy with the amount that
you’re earning but you just become
comfortable with that amount the only
way that you can increase your income is
to change your self-concept in
relationship to income and what we know
is that your overall self-concept is
determined by your self-concept in all
the areas of your life that you consider
important we also know this is that your
self-concept is made up of three parts
again this is basic behavioral
psychology number one it’s made up of
yourself ideal now your self ideal like
three wedges of a pie consists of your
values it consists of your ideals it
consists of your goals consist of your
hopes consist of your dreams consist of
all those things that are inside you and
what we know is that there’s a direct
relationship between how clear you are
about your goals and ideals and your
self idea what do we know about talk
people talk people are clear about what
they believe it and they don’t
compromise their values what are you
know about little people weak people is
they’re very confused about their values
and they compromise them for the
slightest advantage so my point is that
that people with a very clear self idea
much stronger and more powerful people
than people who are unclear about their
ideals and the second part of your
self-concept is called your self-image
and you know hundreds of books on
self-image psychology but basically what
they say is their self-image is the way
you see about yourself and the way you
think about yourself your self-image is
called your inner mirror whenever you go
to do anything you check this mirror
like a stage performer check in the
mirror before they go on the stage
before you’re going to see somebody in a
sales call just kind of check your inner
mirror to see how do I perform in sales
calls and your performance on the
outside is largely determined by
yourself image one to one end of that
ratio the third part of your
self-concept is your self-esteem now
your self-esteem is the most important
part of all this is the emotional part
of your personality this is what I call
the nuclear reactor core this is the end
of the energy source this is the power
in the human personality your level of
self esteem determines your level of
vitality energy personality sense of
humor creativity personal strength
influence persuasiveness and so on so
your self esteem is critical and your
self esteem is his D is defined as how
much you like yourself how much you like
yourself is the measure of your self
esteem how much you like yourself here’s
an interesting point is whatever you
your self esteem yourself image your
personal performance is consistent with
yourself ideal the person that you would
most like to be your self-esteem goes up
whatever you do anything is consistent
with the best person you could be you
feel happy you feel proud just have
greater self-respect you have more
energy whenever you do something that’s
not like you you blow up you get mad you
swear you do something that you know
that’s not consistent with the best
person you could be your self-esteem
takes a hit but when you start to act in
a way consistent with the best that you
know your self-esteem goes up well
here’s the most important part going
down here is we say that the most
powerful words you’ll ever learn
are the words I like myself I like
myself I like myself
whatever you say the words I like myself
your overall self-concept goes up your
self-image improves and your self ideal
clarifies and as yourself as your self
content goes up your performance in your
behavior every part of your life goes up
as well
they say the flipside of self esteem
like a coin is called self efficacy in
psychology itself advocacies how
confident you are so whatever you do
something well your self-esteem goes up
and you like yourself more and more you
like yourself the better you do and the
better you do the more you like yourself
and the more you like yourself the
better you do and you get on to an
upward spiral so what we found is almost
powerful words that you can use prior to
any event of importance other words I
like myself say it say I like myself
now say like you mean say I like myself
now you notice the first time you say it
I went through this many many years ago
first time you say you may be a little
uncomfortable some of you didn’t say it
with too much enthusiasm you know you
said it because everybody else was
saying it but you felt a little bit
guilty like undeserving like that’s you
know a little bit it’s not quite white
well that’s perfectly normal
it’s perfectly normal what it means is
somebody’s programmed some kind of
defect into your computer a piece of
negative information that’s inconsistent
with liking yourself and what happens
it’s called cognitive dissonance in
psychology the new message hits the old
garbage angle goes bang like a bang and
it creates a stress and the stress is
felt like a feeling of disco
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you
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