I think the biggest vulnerability you’ve
got is you actually value somebody’s
opinion more than you value your own as
long as you’re worried about other
people judging you you will play small
you will hedge and you will end up
living somebody else’s version of your
life those people that you’re so
terrified of their opinion of you those
people are not the ones who will live
with the regret rise and shine it’s an
espresso time what’s up believe nation
it’s Evan I believe in you and this
channel is designed to be part of your
daily success routine so let’s start
your day off right together grab your
coffee and sip on today’s message ignore
the noise over to you Gary Vaynerchuk
also if you want to know what Gary and
other successful entrepreneurs have to
say about building unstoppable
confidence check out my 250 for
confidence series where every day for
the next 254 days I will send you a
morning video for free to help you build
your confidence the link to join is in
the description below the reason people
don’t put themselves in a position to
fail the reason people aren’t patient is
they value other people’s opinions too
much
I think the biggest vulnerability you’ve
got is you actually value somebody’s
opinion more than you value your own
like the reason I’ve been able to always
do my thing is when I was 24 and people
were like oh you work at your dad’s
liquor store like I heard that it’s like
a chip on my shoulder you know I loved
it I was like cool keep sleeping on me
you know like I’m glad you’re on Wall
Street making a hundred thousand buying
BMWs and dumb jewelry I’ll see you in 30
years you understand
like to me the way you win is you
realize you can’t hear nobody not your
parents I mean listen you got to listen
to coach and all that I get it but at
the end of the day my guy yourself you
got to get real real quiet up here I
can’t hear anything you go look at my
Instagram right now my first post I’ll
post something first hundred replies in
one second you’re Jesus
you walk on water you’re the best you’re
the all-time can’t hear him the next
hundred you’re a piece of your foolish
you’re a snake oil salesman can’t hear
him I’m in my own mind doing my own
thing and that comes with self-esteem
everybody’s trying to keep up with the
Joneses I’m not worried about you being
I’m not worried about you renting out
cash from the bank and putting it to
your ear I’m not worried you jump the
fence and took a photo in front of a
private plane what do you think these
people are doing they’re posing patients
long game you know what’s amazing about
being an entrepreneur we get to play
forever right I’m gonna be working when
I’m 96 trying to find my next hustle you
cannot have great success if you can’t
handle the haters to get to the point
where you can actually ignore the noise
you need to learn how to inoculate
yourself against judgment as long as
you’re worried about other people
judging you you will play small you will
hedge and you will end up living
somebody else’s version of your life the
answer is self-confidence through
practice every time you catch yourself
playing small because of somebody else’s
opinion of you and you force yourself to
go off and do that thing you release a
little bit of that beer and build more
self-confidence so I use the example of
me walking down the street where I was
walking down the street I had I had my
headphones on I’m listening to music I
got my headphones on right I’m like this
right dancing that walking walking on
the street dance and movement got some
beats on that I love and then I get to a
busy intersection I get to a busy
intersection young and Sheppard here in
Toronto and then there’s people around
me so what happens you start dance a
little smaller you know you start just
bobbing your head a little bit instead
of what I was doing before and then I
caught it I caught myself playing small
I caught myself dance and small and ask
myself why am i why am i dancing small
now just because it’s people around
because these people are getting ready
to go to the work their opinion of me
mean something they’re judging me means
something to me
and because I caught it because I caught
it then I had to dance bigger then I had
to rock it out on this street corner
that I had to go crazy not to get
anybody’s face not to say look at me not
to offend or piss anybody off but for me
to know that the judgement of these
people the fear of them looking at me
and feeling the awkwardness that will
not make me play small and the scary
thing is how many
times that I get to that street corner
how many times have I walked too young
and Shepard with music in my ear and
done that exact same thing but never
caught that I played small never caught
that I danced small how many times
hundreds of times at least we play small
by default we worry about people’s
judgments by default you know it’s built
into who we are as humans and so the
trick then becomes when you catch it
what do you do when you catch it do you
change it or you let it slip by this is
a really important moment when you catch
yourself playing small what do you do
because if you lean into it and you say
I’m not gonna play small I’m gonna feel
the judges of these people I’m gonna
feel their eyes on me and I’m gonna do
it anyway that’s how you build
self-respect that’s how you build
self-confidence that’s how you get
through the pain and the burn and allow
you to then handle the next level of
judgment but if you catch yourself
playing small and you know you need to
go off and do that thing and then you
don’t you’re actually building negative
self-respect it’s better not to even
have caught it if you catch it and don’t
do the action it’s better that you
didn’t even catch it in the first place
because if you catch it and play small
and don’t do the thing that you know you
need to do that’s your new self-identity
that’s you teaching yourself that when I
get scared that when I feel like I’m
gonna get judged then I’m the kind of
person who doesn’t follow through I’m
the kind of person who plays small now
it’s not subconscious anymore now it’s
right in your face and you’re playing
small and so that decision is where you
change your life and all of those micro
decisions is where you change your life
it’s not just about some big thing that
happens you’re trying to go off and
complicate there because you can’t even
do these little things in front of you
if you can’t go to a street corner and
dance like nobody’s business and have
fun if as I’m saying that you’re feeling
awkward and nervous about doing it then
you have to go off and do that thing
even if it’s not an expression of
yourself because a part of the reason is
you’re worried about being judged then
you need to go off and do that thing to
eat the judgment and grow from
because if you can’t do that there’s no
way you’re gonna go off and accomplish
some big thing because every major goal
will come with people who will hate
against you who will judge you who will
tell you that it’s not possible who we
tell you like you’re not capable of
doing that thing and you’re gonna play
small because you’re worried about their
feelings so I’m gonna give you the
3-step process to build more confidence
and stop worrying what other people
think of you step number one catch your
small default and act when you catch it
when you catch the thing that you’re
doing then you have to go up and act you
have to I’m dancing I’m not dancing
anymore because people I catch it I have
to do it think about in your own life
what are the things that you are afraid
to do and can you catch it in time and
then what do you do
step number two is get accountability
the problem with changing these things
is you won’t catch most of them I went
to that Street hundreds of times and
never caught it we play small by default
and so you want to get some
accountability built into your life the
people who are closest to you your
husband your wife your kids the kids are
the best your friends your family your
colleagues tell them what you’re trying
to get better at tell them what you feel
like you’re playing small tell them you
need their help and tell them when they
catch you doing it to voice up and say
you’re doing it you’re doing it again
right now right here you’re doing it
again fix it so they’re helping put it
on your radar too so it’s not just
relying on you to catch it your friends
your family your colleagues your kids
they’re gonna do it too and now that
accountability will force you to do it
that accountability if not just you
calling out yourself but your friend
calls it out your colleague calls it out
your son calls it out so I love using
Hayden because he calls it out in me now
I have to do it because I’m now I’m not
just letting myself down I’m letting Ben
down too so get some accountability and
step number three is 254 confidence I
have a program called 254 confidence
it’s a free video series I’ve talked
about it at the top of this video where
every day for the next 254 days I send
you a morning video for free to help you
build your confidence the more you are
around confident people confident things
you become more confident bit by bit
just by watching the videos by being
around people who are doing things in a
calm
in a way you by osmosis by hanging
around that become more confident if you
are hanging on people who are weak who
are scared who are putting things off
who are procrastinating who are
complaining that’s gonna be what you
take on you’re gonna feel weak you’re
gonna want to complain
you’re gonna start being lazy you’re
gonna be lethargic you’re not gonna go
chase your goals but when you’re on
people who are pushing hard and they’re
trying to gain mastery and are trying to
conquer confidence then you will too and
so whether you use my program which is
free and you get a morning video every
single day or you create something for
yourself designing your environment so
that you are around people who are
confident who are pushing limits who are
acting boldly and making that a part of
your daily routine its 2:54 because it
takes up to two hundred and fifty four
days of daily practice that’s something
to build a habit up to two hundred fifty
four days day but you want confidence to
be a habit you have to be around it for
a maximum of 254 days it takes the
average is 66 days able to have it
people say oh we like do it for a week
and you’ll get it no do it for a week
you’ll fall back down to where you were
before you need way more practice time
the average is 66 days of every single
day but even if you’re the slowest
person on the earth and learning by 254
days you’ll get it and so you can use my
program it’s free link is below or
figure out your own plan but you need to
be around people who are exerting
confidence so that some of that seeps
into you you take it for yourself and
you start making massive progress in
your life so step number one catch your
small default and act to get some
accountability and three to fifty for
confidence now I’ve got a really special
bonus clip for you that I think you’re
gonna enjoy but before that question of
the day I want to know what is the thing
that you are most afraid of being judged
for put in the comments below I’m
from the time they’re little it tends to
be that you get recognition from your
parents when other adults recognize you
as something so it’ll be like Oh your
daughter’s so cute
Oh your daughter’s so sweet she’s so
funny so so you’ll learn Oh other
people’s opinions really matter and this
is like what are women just drowning in
like what is crushing women at other
people’s opinion there you go they live
their life terrified of failure
terrified to try terrified that they’re
getting it wrong because their
mother-in-law will disapprove or the
girls that they went to high school with
you know they’re gonna see me on
Facebook and they’re gonna watch me it’s
crazy it’s crazy because those people
that you’re so terrified of their
opinion of you those people are not the
ones who will live with the regret those
people are not the ones who can’t afford
to take their kids on vacation those
people are not the ones who are
struggling for it like all these things
that you want for your life but you’re
too afraid to reach for because of what
other people will think those other
people are not going to be there when it
sucks and it’s hard for you that’s all
on you you know you’re not very smart or
you can’t do that if you’re a teacher
and you say you know what you can never
be an astronaut you can never be an
empire maker you’re not smart enough to
do this and some teachers said that to
me along my journey you’ll never you’ll
never finish University and just to
share the reality I not only finished
university with a science degree but I
did a law degree and then a master’s of
law degree and I only share that which
is I haven’t had it easy
I’ve been put down I have had teachers
who didn’t see my potential that’s just
reality you want to block out the noise
and listen to the signal which is you’re
built to be a possibility Rhian you’re
built to be great
you have genius within you so calibrate
your languaging so your words to
yourself are real class if you want more
Gary check at the top fifty rules video
I made on him the link is right there
next to me I think you’ll enjoy it
continue to believe and I’ll see you
there
take life by its throat do something stopping scared
got is you actually value somebody’s
opinion more than you value your own as
long as you’re worried about other
people judging you you will play small
you will hedge and you will end up
living somebody else’s version of your
life those people that you’re so
terrified of their opinion of you those
people are not the ones who will live
with the regret rise and shine it’s an
espresso time what’s up believe nation
it’s Evan I believe in you and this
channel is designed to be part of your
daily success routine so let’s start
your day off right together grab your
coffee and sip on today’s message ignore
the noise over to you Gary Vaynerchuk
also if you want to know what Gary and
other successful entrepreneurs have to
say about building unstoppable
confidence check out my 250 for
confidence series where every day for
the next 254 days I will send you a
morning video for free to help you build
your confidence the link to join is in
the description below the reason people
don’t put themselves in a position to
fail the reason people aren’t patient is
they value other people’s opinions too
much
I think the biggest vulnerability you’ve
got is you actually value somebody’s
opinion more than you value your own
like the reason I’ve been able to always
do my thing is when I was 24 and people
were like oh you work at your dad’s
liquor store like I heard that it’s like
a chip on my shoulder you know I loved
it I was like cool keep sleeping on me
you know like I’m glad you’re on Wall
Street making a hundred thousand buying
BMWs and dumb jewelry I’ll see you in 30
years you understand
like to me the way you win is you
realize you can’t hear nobody not your
parents I mean listen you got to listen
to coach and all that I get it but at
the end of the day my guy yourself you
got to get real real quiet up here I
can’t hear anything you go look at my
Instagram right now my first post I’ll
post something first hundred replies in
one second you’re Jesus
you walk on water you’re the best you’re
the all-time can’t hear him the next
hundred you’re a piece of your foolish
you’re a snake oil salesman can’t hear
him I’m in my own mind doing my own
thing and that comes with self-esteem
everybody’s trying to keep up with the
Joneses I’m not worried about you being
I’m not worried about you renting out
cash from the bank and putting it to
your ear I’m not worried you jump the
fence and took a photo in front of a
private plane what do you think these
people are doing they’re posing patients
long game you know what’s amazing about
being an entrepreneur we get to play
forever right I’m gonna be working when
I’m 96 trying to find my next hustle you
cannot have great success if you can’t
handle the haters to get to the point
where you can actually ignore the noise
you need to learn how to inoculate
yourself against judgment as long as
you’re worried about other people
judging you you will play small you will
hedge and you will end up living
somebody else’s version of your life the
answer is self-confidence through
practice every time you catch yourself
playing small because of somebody else’s
opinion of you and you force yourself to
go off and do that thing you release a
little bit of that beer and build more
self-confidence so I use the example of
me walking down the street where I was
walking down the street I had I had my
headphones on I’m listening to music I
got my headphones on right I’m like this
right dancing that walking walking on
the street dance and movement got some
beats on that I love and then I get to a
busy intersection I get to a busy
intersection young and Sheppard here in
Toronto and then there’s people around
me so what happens you start dance a
little smaller you know you start just
bobbing your head a little bit instead
of what I was doing before and then I
caught it I caught myself playing small
I caught myself dance and small and ask
myself why am i why am i dancing small
now just because it’s people around
because these people are getting ready
to go to the work their opinion of me
mean something they’re judging me means
something to me
and because I caught it because I caught
it then I had to dance bigger then I had
to rock it out on this street corner
that I had to go crazy not to get
anybody’s face not to say look at me not
to offend or piss anybody off but for me
to know that the judgement of these
people the fear of them looking at me
and feeling the awkwardness that will
not make me play small and the scary
thing is how many
times that I get to that street corner
how many times have I walked too young
and Shepard with music in my ear and
done that exact same thing but never
caught that I played small never caught
that I danced small how many times
hundreds of times at least we play small
by default we worry about people’s
judgments by default you know it’s built
into who we are as humans and so the
trick then becomes when you catch it
what do you do when you catch it do you
change it or you let it slip by this is
a really important moment when you catch
yourself playing small what do you do
because if you lean into it and you say
I’m not gonna play small I’m gonna feel
the judges of these people I’m gonna
feel their eyes on me and I’m gonna do
it anyway that’s how you build
self-respect that’s how you build
self-confidence that’s how you get
through the pain and the burn and allow
you to then handle the next level of
judgment but if you catch yourself
playing small and you know you need to
go off and do that thing and then you
don’t you’re actually building negative
self-respect it’s better not to even
have caught it if you catch it and don’t
do the action it’s better that you
didn’t even catch it in the first place
because if you catch it and play small
and don’t do the thing that you know you
need to do that’s your new self-identity
that’s you teaching yourself that when I
get scared that when I feel like I’m
gonna get judged then I’m the kind of
person who doesn’t follow through I’m
the kind of person who plays small now
it’s not subconscious anymore now it’s
right in your face and you’re playing
small and so that decision is where you
change your life and all of those micro
decisions is where you change your life
it’s not just about some big thing that
happens you’re trying to go off and
complicate there because you can’t even
do these little things in front of you
if you can’t go to a street corner and
dance like nobody’s business and have
fun if as I’m saying that you’re feeling
awkward and nervous about doing it then
you have to go off and do that thing
even if it’s not an expression of
yourself because a part of the reason is
you’re worried about being judged then
you need to go off and do that thing to
eat the judgment and grow from
because if you can’t do that there’s no
way you’re gonna go off and accomplish
some big thing because every major goal
will come with people who will hate
against you who will judge you who will
tell you that it’s not possible who we
tell you like you’re not capable of
doing that thing and you’re gonna play
small because you’re worried about their
feelings so I’m gonna give you the
3-step process to build more confidence
and stop worrying what other people
think of you step number one catch your
small default and act when you catch it
when you catch the thing that you’re
doing then you have to go up and act you
have to I’m dancing I’m not dancing
anymore because people I catch it I have
to do it think about in your own life
what are the things that you are afraid
to do and can you catch it in time and
then what do you do
step number two is get accountability
the problem with changing these things
is you won’t catch most of them I went
to that Street hundreds of times and
never caught it we play small by default
and so you want to get some
accountability built into your life the
people who are closest to you your
husband your wife your kids the kids are
the best your friends your family your
colleagues tell them what you’re trying
to get better at tell them what you feel
like you’re playing small tell them you
need their help and tell them when they
catch you doing it to voice up and say
you’re doing it you’re doing it again
right now right here you’re doing it
again fix it so they’re helping put it
on your radar too so it’s not just
relying on you to catch it your friends
your family your colleagues your kids
they’re gonna do it too and now that
accountability will force you to do it
that accountability if not just you
calling out yourself but your friend
calls it out your colleague calls it out
your son calls it out so I love using
Hayden because he calls it out in me now
I have to do it because I’m now I’m not
just letting myself down I’m letting Ben
down too so get some accountability and
step number three is 254 confidence I
have a program called 254 confidence
it’s a free video series I’ve talked
about it at the top of this video where
every day for the next 254 days I send
you a morning video for free to help you
build your confidence the more you are
around confident people confident things
you become more confident bit by bit
just by watching the videos by being
around people who are doing things in a
calm
in a way you by osmosis by hanging
around that become more confident if you
are hanging on people who are weak who
are scared who are putting things off
who are procrastinating who are
complaining that’s gonna be what you
take on you’re gonna feel weak you’re
gonna want to complain
you’re gonna start being lazy you’re
gonna be lethargic you’re not gonna go
chase your goals but when you’re on
people who are pushing hard and they’re
trying to gain mastery and are trying to
conquer confidence then you will too and
so whether you use my program which is
free and you get a morning video every
single day or you create something for
yourself designing your environment so
that you are around people who are
confident who are pushing limits who are
acting boldly and making that a part of
your daily routine its 2:54 because it
takes up to two hundred and fifty four
days of daily practice that’s something
to build a habit up to two hundred fifty
four days day but you want confidence to
be a habit you have to be around it for
a maximum of 254 days it takes the
average is 66 days able to have it
people say oh we like do it for a week
and you’ll get it no do it for a week
you’ll fall back down to where you were
before you need way more practice time
the average is 66 days of every single
day but even if you’re the slowest
person on the earth and learning by 254
days you’ll get it and so you can use my
program it’s free link is below or
figure out your own plan but you need to
be around people who are exerting
confidence so that some of that seeps
into you you take it for yourself and
you start making massive progress in
your life so step number one catch your
small default and act to get some
accountability and three to fifty for
confidence now I’ve got a really special
bonus clip for you that I think you’re
gonna enjoy but before that question of
the day I want to know what is the thing
that you are most afraid of being judged
for put in the comments below I’m
from the time they’re little it tends to
be that you get recognition from your
parents when other adults recognize you
as something so it’ll be like Oh your
daughter’s so cute
Oh your daughter’s so sweet she’s so
funny so so you’ll learn Oh other
people’s opinions really matter and this
is like what are women just drowning in
like what is crushing women at other
people’s opinion there you go they live
their life terrified of failure
terrified to try terrified that they’re
getting it wrong because their
mother-in-law will disapprove or the
girls that they went to high school with
you know they’re gonna see me on
Facebook and they’re gonna watch me it’s
crazy it’s crazy because those people
that you’re so terrified of their
opinion of you those people are not the
ones who will live with the regret those
people are not the ones who can’t afford
to take their kids on vacation those
people are not the ones who are
struggling for it like all these things
that you want for your life but you’re
too afraid to reach for because of what
other people will think those other
people are not going to be there when it
sucks and it’s hard for you that’s all
on you you know you’re not very smart or
you can’t do that if you’re a teacher
and you say you know what you can never
be an astronaut you can never be an
empire maker you’re not smart enough to
do this and some teachers said that to
me along my journey you’ll never you’ll
never finish University and just to
share the reality I not only finished
university with a science degree but I
did a law degree and then a master’s of
law degree and I only share that which
is I haven’t had it easy
I’ve been put down I have had teachers
who didn’t see my potential that’s just
reality you want to block out the noise
and listen to the signal which is you’re
built to be a possibility Rhian you’re
built to be great
you have genius within you so calibrate
your languaging so your words to
yourself are real class if you want more
Gary check at the top fifty rules video
I made on him the link is right there
next to me I think you’ll enjoy it
continue to believe and I’ll see you
there
take life by its throat do something stopping scared
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