be prepared in life for a lot of
rejection because if you’re paired for a
lot of rejection that comes you don’t
get turned off you don’t get
disappointed like well I’m not going to
do this anymore no one thinks it’s a
good idea it’s like I say selling
encyclopedias not come $100 they slap
them in your face you must be just as
enthusiastic on door number 101 as door
number one and that’s what the real
secrets and growing up as kids in
downtown LA we all knew that we didn’t
have a lot when there’s a lot of things
are going to turn you down at seven
trying to sell a flowerpot on the street
most people said no it’s only 50 cents
no no no soon an waitress and all
restaurant said only 50 cents that’s
really great she bought it from us we
went built another one that you that you
vote that really is like one of the
secrets to the universe of my opinion
that ability to stay as enthusiastic on
door 101 as you were on door 1 when you
had it slammed in your face over and
over and over how is that something you
can teach like in fact have you parted
that on to your kids like is that
something that they have adopted and if
so how did you pull that off
definitely it’s just like your viewers
of your fabulous show here
they’ve just certainly say that now they
write that on a piece of paper be
prepared for a lot of rejection whether
it’s in their personal life that someone
says you’re too old you’re too fat
you’re too young you’re not going to do
anything other than yes you’ve got holes
in your nose you got things coming out
your ears whatever is other than yes
this is wonderful relicense can happen
in life
as soon as people know that when
something goes wrong they look at a
piece of paper oh yeah that reminds me
the other quote that I give people a lot
especially entrepreneurs is any business
you’re in whether it’s a service or
whether it’s a product or anybody you
work with that has a product or a
service always make sure that your
product or your service
is of the highest quality you could ever
make it because you do not want to be
you do not want to be in the selling
business you want to be enough
order this granite you’ve got to tell
something what your idea is
and you know how it’s going to cure
something they may need but the quality
has to be so good that after that they
want to reorder it or so one-time item
tell friends about it and if people
think of whatever they’re doing in life
be in the reorder business what is with
a personal relationship whatever you see
right now you’re to see again and again
and again it’s going to the Hance
they’ll be ups and downs here’s my
product it’s so darn good you’re going
to use it we started Paul Mitchell we
had no money but we knew our product was
so darn good that we got enhance of
enough people they’re going to be
reordering it because of that quality so
the questions are actual questions that
coincided with milestones or inflection
points or just a fork in my own life and
some of them would be for instance what
if I did the opposite for 48 hours it’s
a very recoverable experiment and if it
doesn’t work then I can always go back
to that day doing the opposite net
making my calls between let’s just say
6:30 and 8:30 and then 5:30 to 7:00 7:30
and it was just a hypothesis maybe I can
get a hold of the people I need to get a
hold of more effectively when the
gatekeepers aren’t there and that’s
exactly what happened and I started
booking more meetings and closing more
deals than than the majority of the guys
in the company and it was just from
asking that question what if it did the
opposite for 48 hours and you can apply
that to many many things some of the
others would be well this is one I asked
in 2004 if I had a gun against my head
and can only work two hours per week
what would I do
I know it’s impossible what would I do
and that type of ludicrous question was
necessary to break my thinking patterns
and test the stress test my own
assumptions of what was possible and you
find that that is a learnable skill I’ll
give you another question that I think
it were like which is one of the
seventeen what can I learn from the
people I hate the most
Wow now this does two things it forces
you to separate your morality from your
your search for effectiveness right it
also helps you to develop some degree of
empathy and those two are very powerful
so what can I learn from the people I
hate most take out a piece of paper draw
three columns so if you’re watching do
that right now take out a piece of paper
three columns
top of the first column you’re going to
write down experiences right and ask
yourself what experiences do I want to
have who do I want to wake up with
what’s at the house do I want to live in
what countries do I want to visit where
do I want to travel to when adventures
do I want to have whether it’s climbing
Mount Kinabalu or hiking the Andes what
type of family life do I want what dog
do I want the beautiful thing about
experiences is often they don’t require
that much money it’s crazy we associate
money with happiness but often the most
beautiful experiences in life require no
money almost any human being today can
fall in love can make a baby these are
some of the most profound experiences
I’ve had so the first thing is you make
a list of your experiences now the
second thing is you ask yourself this
question for me to be the man or woman
who has all of these experiences how do
I have to grow and here we come to the
second list see I believe we are souls
having a human experience here on planet
Earth
but these souls are not just here to
explore all of these wonderful things
about being human I believe as souls as
human beings we crave growth human
beings are growth driven machines and so
you make that second list and that
second list is how do I want to grow how
can I learn to be a better father a
better spouse a better lover what
languages do you want to learn do you
want to learn a musical instrument do
you want to learn to
right do you want to learn to play a
particular spot or learn a particular
skill what many people don’t realize
about the world is that growth is a goal
in itself it’s one of the key things
that drive us forward as human beings
that very few people write down growth
as goals because their education system
which tries to teach us to grow through
forced learning makes many people dread
learning so growth becomes that second
list now you have to list your
experiences and your growth now you ask
yourself the third question and the
third question is this to be that man a
woman who has all of these experiences
to be that man a woman who has grown in
such a way how can I give back to the
world it’s very important reason for
that question the Dalai Lama said if you
want to be happy make other people happy
and I believe that when you do these
three most important questions that
third category is what truly needs the
fulfillment it’s when you can take your
growth you can take your experiences and
contribute to fellow souls contribute to
the human race you’ve learn
entrepreneurship great mentor someone
mentor a kid who want to get there you
you have the ability to sing figure out
how to use it to deliver you know
beautiful music to inspire people so
your list of contributions becomes your
steps for you to give back to the world
because that takes you beyond your
happiness into fulfillment now when you
have this list experience this growth
and contribution this becomes your goal
list everything else is just a mean
score now when I started creating this I
found that it allowed me to rewire my
brain to shortcut and bypass so many
bullshit rules to go straight to these
final items to go straight to ways I
could contribute ways I could grow ways
I could have these beautiful experiences
and often these were unconventional
thoughts like when I started my company
I didn’t work with any investors or VCS
I decided to start my own University
which is happening in Barcelona but it
all came because when you have done
three most important questions you get
to short-circuit the rules of the
culture escape and figure out shorter
paths towards true human fulfillment it
was so important for me and when you
learn how to to listen to your own story
and write it down
I think self-awareness is like an
inevitable byproduct of them because you
get addicted to knowing what you think
about something yeah this is weird state
we all have you know we’re operating on
old memories and we’re operating on
things that we read but we haven’t
really like retained as soon as you
start transferring that whole messy
cloudy misty area of knowledge into
explicit knowledge you’re going to start
seeing a lot more in yourself and what’s
out there and so my advice is to write
just write and the rest will follow so
all day long you’re going to have
moments where your thoughts drift and I
use that word on purpose because for me
there is a physical sensation when you
start to use the five-second rule and
you start to wake up not only on time in
the morning but you wake up to your life
and the opportunities in your life
there’s your thoughts drift like you’ll
just be hanging out with your friends
and then suddenly you’re like I’m not
sure that the person likes me and I
thought you know I haven’t heard from my
kids lately I wonder if they’re dead or
you know you know as I check it like you
just start worrying about stuff why
because it’s a habit because when you’re
not paying attention your brain shifts
from you being a decision-maker and
paying attention to you just kind of
spinning things on autopilot and one of
your habits is worrying the second you
wake up and you notice holy cow I’m
talking some negative garbage to myself
right now five four three two one
you’ve just shifted the part of the
brain that you’re using you’ve shifted
from the basal ganglia which is where
your habit loops are spinning and you’ve
awakened your prefrontal cortex
you’ve also interrupted that pattern now
what you’re going to do because your
mind is actually ready to receive a
different thought because of the
counting now you can put in an anchor
thought like if you have a mantra if
you’ve got a vision about the way that
your business is going to turn out in
five years if you just have a thought
that makes you really happy and proud
insert that now why does this work it
works because of the counting and I’m
not kidding we know based on research
the positive thinking alone not
effective in some instances trying to
force yourself to think positive can
actually make the worries worse why well
the reason why is because it’s really
hard to just change the channel what we
have to do first is basically interrupt
it and turn off the TV and then turn it
back on with the prefrontal cortex
awakened so the counting is essential
[Music]
you
rejection because if you’re paired for a
lot of rejection that comes you don’t
get turned off you don’t get
disappointed like well I’m not going to
do this anymore no one thinks it’s a
good idea it’s like I say selling
encyclopedias not come $100 they slap
them in your face you must be just as
enthusiastic on door number 101 as door
number one and that’s what the real
secrets and growing up as kids in
downtown LA we all knew that we didn’t
have a lot when there’s a lot of things
are going to turn you down at seven
trying to sell a flowerpot on the street
most people said no it’s only 50 cents
no no no soon an waitress and all
restaurant said only 50 cents that’s
really great she bought it from us we
went built another one that you that you
vote that really is like one of the
secrets to the universe of my opinion
that ability to stay as enthusiastic on
door 101 as you were on door 1 when you
had it slammed in your face over and
over and over how is that something you
can teach like in fact have you parted
that on to your kids like is that
something that they have adopted and if
so how did you pull that off
definitely it’s just like your viewers
of your fabulous show here
they’ve just certainly say that now they
write that on a piece of paper be
prepared for a lot of rejection whether
it’s in their personal life that someone
says you’re too old you’re too fat
you’re too young you’re not going to do
anything other than yes you’ve got holes
in your nose you got things coming out
your ears whatever is other than yes
this is wonderful relicense can happen
in life
as soon as people know that when
something goes wrong they look at a
piece of paper oh yeah that reminds me
the other quote that I give people a lot
especially entrepreneurs is any business
you’re in whether it’s a service or
whether it’s a product or anybody you
work with that has a product or a
service always make sure that your
product or your service
is of the highest quality you could ever
make it because you do not want to be
you do not want to be in the selling
business you want to be enough
order this granite you’ve got to tell
something what your idea is
and you know how it’s going to cure
something they may need but the quality
has to be so good that after that they
want to reorder it or so one-time item
tell friends about it and if people
think of whatever they’re doing in life
be in the reorder business what is with
a personal relationship whatever you see
right now you’re to see again and again
and again it’s going to the Hance
they’ll be ups and downs here’s my
product it’s so darn good you’re going
to use it we started Paul Mitchell we
had no money but we knew our product was
so darn good that we got enhance of
enough people they’re going to be
reordering it because of that quality so
the questions are actual questions that
coincided with milestones or inflection
points or just a fork in my own life and
some of them would be for instance what
if I did the opposite for 48 hours it’s
a very recoverable experiment and if it
doesn’t work then I can always go back
to that day doing the opposite net
making my calls between let’s just say
6:30 and 8:30 and then 5:30 to 7:00 7:30
and it was just a hypothesis maybe I can
get a hold of the people I need to get a
hold of more effectively when the
gatekeepers aren’t there and that’s
exactly what happened and I started
booking more meetings and closing more
deals than than the majority of the guys
in the company and it was just from
asking that question what if it did the
opposite for 48 hours and you can apply
that to many many things some of the
others would be well this is one I asked
in 2004 if I had a gun against my head
and can only work two hours per week
what would I do
I know it’s impossible what would I do
and that type of ludicrous question was
necessary to break my thinking patterns
and test the stress test my own
assumptions of what was possible and you
find that that is a learnable skill I’ll
give you another question that I think
it were like which is one of the
seventeen what can I learn from the
people I hate the most
Wow now this does two things it forces
you to separate your morality from your
your search for effectiveness right it
also helps you to develop some degree of
empathy and those two are very powerful
so what can I learn from the people I
hate most take out a piece of paper draw
three columns so if you’re watching do
that right now take out a piece of paper
three columns
top of the first column you’re going to
write down experiences right and ask
yourself what experiences do I want to
have who do I want to wake up with
what’s at the house do I want to live in
what countries do I want to visit where
do I want to travel to when adventures
do I want to have whether it’s climbing
Mount Kinabalu or hiking the Andes what
type of family life do I want what dog
do I want the beautiful thing about
experiences is often they don’t require
that much money it’s crazy we associate
money with happiness but often the most
beautiful experiences in life require no
money almost any human being today can
fall in love can make a baby these are
some of the most profound experiences
I’ve had so the first thing is you make
a list of your experiences now the
second thing is you ask yourself this
question for me to be the man or woman
who has all of these experiences how do
I have to grow and here we come to the
second list see I believe we are souls
having a human experience here on planet
Earth
but these souls are not just here to
explore all of these wonderful things
about being human I believe as souls as
human beings we crave growth human
beings are growth driven machines and so
you make that second list and that
second list is how do I want to grow how
can I learn to be a better father a
better spouse a better lover what
languages do you want to learn do you
want to learn a musical instrument do
you want to learn to
right do you want to learn to play a
particular spot or learn a particular
skill what many people don’t realize
about the world is that growth is a goal
in itself it’s one of the key things
that drive us forward as human beings
that very few people write down growth
as goals because their education system
which tries to teach us to grow through
forced learning makes many people dread
learning so growth becomes that second
list now you have to list your
experiences and your growth now you ask
yourself the third question and the
third question is this to be that man a
woman who has all of these experiences
to be that man a woman who has grown in
such a way how can I give back to the
world it’s very important reason for
that question the Dalai Lama said if you
want to be happy make other people happy
and I believe that when you do these
three most important questions that
third category is what truly needs the
fulfillment it’s when you can take your
growth you can take your experiences and
contribute to fellow souls contribute to
the human race you’ve learn
entrepreneurship great mentor someone
mentor a kid who want to get there you
you have the ability to sing figure out
how to use it to deliver you know
beautiful music to inspire people so
your list of contributions becomes your
steps for you to give back to the world
because that takes you beyond your
happiness into fulfillment now when you
have this list experience this growth
and contribution this becomes your goal
list everything else is just a mean
score now when I started creating this I
found that it allowed me to rewire my
brain to shortcut and bypass so many
bullshit rules to go straight to these
final items to go straight to ways I
could contribute ways I could grow ways
I could have these beautiful experiences
and often these were unconventional
thoughts like when I started my company
I didn’t work with any investors or VCS
I decided to start my own University
which is happening in Barcelona but it
all came because when you have done
three most important questions you get
to short-circuit the rules of the
culture escape and figure out shorter
paths towards true human fulfillment it
was so important for me and when you
learn how to to listen to your own story
and write it down
I think self-awareness is like an
inevitable byproduct of them because you
get addicted to knowing what you think
about something yeah this is weird state
we all have you know we’re operating on
old memories and we’re operating on
things that we read but we haven’t
really like retained as soon as you
start transferring that whole messy
cloudy misty area of knowledge into
explicit knowledge you’re going to start
seeing a lot more in yourself and what’s
out there and so my advice is to write
just write and the rest will follow so
all day long you’re going to have
moments where your thoughts drift and I
use that word on purpose because for me
there is a physical sensation when you
start to use the five-second rule and
you start to wake up not only on time in
the morning but you wake up to your life
and the opportunities in your life
there’s your thoughts drift like you’ll
just be hanging out with your friends
and then suddenly you’re like I’m not
sure that the person likes me and I
thought you know I haven’t heard from my
kids lately I wonder if they’re dead or
you know you know as I check it like you
just start worrying about stuff why
because it’s a habit because when you’re
not paying attention your brain shifts
from you being a decision-maker and
paying attention to you just kind of
spinning things on autopilot and one of
your habits is worrying the second you
wake up and you notice holy cow I’m
talking some negative garbage to myself
right now five four three two one
you’ve just shifted the part of the
brain that you’re using you’ve shifted
from the basal ganglia which is where
your habit loops are spinning and you’ve
awakened your prefrontal cortex
you’ve also interrupted that pattern now
what you’re going to do because your
mind is actually ready to receive a
different thought because of the
counting now you can put in an anchor
thought like if you have a mantra if
you’ve got a vision about the way that
your business is going to turn out in
five years if you just have a thought
that makes you really happy and proud
insert that now why does this work it
works because of the counting and I’m
not kidding we know based on research
the positive thinking alone not
effective in some instances trying to
force yourself to think positive can
actually make the worries worse why well
the reason why is because it’s really
hard to just change the channel what we
have to do first is basically interrupt
it and turn off the TV and then turn it
back on with the prefrontal cortex
awakened so the counting is essential
[Music]
you
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