good morning believe nation today we’re
talking about how to make a good first
impression rule number two is my
personal favorite and I’d love to know
which one you guys like the best and
also as you watch you if you hear
something that really resonates with you
please leave it in the comments below
and put it in quotes so other people can
be inspired as well and when you write
something down yourself it’s much more
likely to stick for you as well enjoy a
[Music]
friend of mine little ways back was that
a company is a finance company and he
was presenting to the head honcho boss
this guy’s worth 100 million dollars
well I was around a private jet and was
generally an abuser like he was verbally
abusive to everybody in the office so
he’s got this meeting and he’s pitching
to him whether or not they should invest
in a company that they gave him to
research and he gets around to the end
and he says so based on all my research
I think this company is a path it’s just
too risky
head honcho guy David stands up looks at
him the rest of the team says you guys
are pussies everyone else there gets
quiet because they’ve taken this kind of
abuse before my friend is not used to
this right he’s never been treated like
this so he looks right back at the boss
and says David where I come from calling
another man that is the worst
thing you could do you would immediately
start a fistfight don’t ever call me a
again
and get quiet and everyone in the rink
is behind it and David gets quiet few
seconds pass and I’m sure they must have
seemed a like eternity and David says
I’m sorry I won’t never do that again
completely goes back meeting starts
rolling people pick up the slack but
what happened is after that my friend
never ever received that kind of abuse
that people in the office continue to
get from him right that guy never gave
him any crap again it’s because he set a
boundary and even though he was low man
on the totem pole he created respect
this is what happens when people cross
lines I’m not saying that you need to
shout their faces off my
I’m saying that you need to do what most
people do and just go see key you know
it’s okay I’ve seen people do this in so
many situations right somebody makes a
racist sexist comment that they don’t
like in a business meeting somebody
shows up really late doesn’t respect
your time or I know a girl in a business
meeting she was basically being hit on
by the guy and you know what to do so
she just kind of laughed it off
pretended that it was just a joke in me
scenarios what you need to do in so many
words to say one hey I don’t appreciate
what you just did and two don’t ever do
it again and then quiet that is it I’m
not asking you to yell at someone I’m
not asking you to take it home I’m not
asking you to complain about with your
friends if you do this you will find
that the boundaries you set create more
respect in all of your interactions
incredibly powerful I can probably get
somebody to consume something from me
within the first 13 seconds let alone 30
seconds because it’s not what I’m going
to say it’s how I feel see words are
great but energy is a whole different
game and I win on that game right and so
within the first 30 seconds I’m going to
establish and have always established
for my entire life from first grade
first 30 seconds into any business
meeting to when I’m in a big off site
when everybody goes around the room and
says I’m Stefan I work at vaynermedia
but then I do my I’m Gary I’m a Jets fan
like I within 30 seconds set the tone
vibe wise if I don’t get to say
something which is rare for me not to
say something within the first 30
seconds I establish that I’m different
yeah I’m different I don’t want you to
forget that if you first impressions
have nothing to do with you as much as
they have to do with the other person
and I know you know that as well but how
present do you really get for other
people you don’t think about the last
time you were with your partner your
spouse your lover or your the person
you’re an intimate relationship with it
if you are I mean how president have you
really been with them at dinner how
president are you with them when you’re
walking in the door
how present are you with them in general
because that level of presence is
probably what you’re carrying into the
social world too
I want you to remember remember that if
you really want to make a difference and
you really want to make an impact a
great quote unquote first impression it
comes from being present with other
people and truly listening being engaged
and interested in who they are what
they’re about what’s going on in their
world part of the having being great at
first impressions is asking questions of
other people and genuinely meaning them
not your it these are the five great
questions to ask of networking event
meuk makes you another ass who’s asking
those five questions go ask questions
that are real for you like if you meet
somebody ask them questions that are
authentic for you that that’s it do what
what you’re interested tell people hey
I’m interested in this how do you
perceive it what do you do learn from
them
don’t be so focused on bragging about
yourself to make a first impression
instead learn enough about someone that
you can brag about them to the next guy
meaning it’s now you’re talking with
someone you learn something about them
someone walks up you’d be like hey
what’s your name opa Pete this is
Barbara Barbara is awesome she used to
tell me how she’s like this and now
you’re just bragging up on Barbara
versus worry about bragging about
yourself and in that situation you will
be the person of influence you’ve heard
it said that you never get a second
chance to make a good first impression
the fact is that when you first meet a
person he makes a judgement about you in
approximately four seconds and his
judgement is finalized largely within 30
seconds of the initial contact in a
survey of the members of the American
personnel Association those men and
women who are responsible for hiring
people for large companies members
generally agreed that they made their
decision to hire or not to hire a person
within 30 seconds of the first meeting
so everything contributing to the way
you look on the outside is important if
it’s not helping you it’s hurting you
while you cannot control your physical
features you have total control over
your dress and grooming in fact we
generally assume that a person
consciously and deliberately makes a
personal statement of
himself with every part of his
appearance that he can affect in any way
your clothes are responsible for 95% of
the first impression that you make on
someone because in most instances your
clothes cover 95% of your body you’re
grooming your hairstyle and the other
ways that you can determine your
appearance from the neck up also exert
an enormous influence on the way that
you are perceived on your ëthis with
someone else
your accessories such as purse or
briefcase watch tie rings pens and other
elements all make a statement that will
or will not help to put you in a
position to influence another person and
last but certainly not least is
something that I do that is a little
trick all right it’s like first
impression espionage because there’s no
getting around like in somebody when
they actually give you a compliment when
I meet somebody for the first time I try
to look for something that I can
compliment them on all right because
automatically you complement them they
like you more it happens right because
when somebody gives you a compliment
you’re like yeah you just like a more it
works gentleman and then when they think
of you next time they’re going to think
of that dude who gave them the
compliment that they automatically like
gentlemen here’s the deal first
impressions we only have one chance to
make it so make yours count so I have
maybe a different perspective on making
a good first impression I think the best
first impression that you can make is
when you are feeling confident in
yourself I reminded the clip between Jay
Z and Warren Buffett where they asked
Jay Z if you ever feel uncomfortable
going into these business boardrooms
because he wasn’t he’s not from the
business school he didn’t go to you know
business university and he said I’m
always comfortable going into any room
because I like me and he didn’t go to
university but he went to the School of
Life and as long as he’s confident
himself and he carries that throughout
any situation that he’s in and all he
has to do is not try to be somebody else
but just try to be himself and that
allows him to win and I think if you
embrace that philosophy it’s not about
how firm your handshake is or what
clothes you’re wearing or what the first
word out of your mouth is at the end of
day for me it’s about your own mindset
your own
often it Jones not like confidence both
staying big ego but just feeling
self-confident and happy as a human
being if you carry that into every
situation that you’re in you’ll make a
great first impression as an example I
think back of my entrepreneurial career
when I first started meeting with
entrepreneurs I always had a suit on
full-on suit when I’d be working I’d be
in a hoodie or whatever something else
but then when I have a meeting it would
always be full-on stupid have one kind
of sit at the office waiting for me
whenever I had that meeting because I
felt like to make that good first
impression I needed to wear a suit and
if you go back to some of my first
videos if you look at like the Walt
Disney video or some of the early ones
you’ll see that I’m in a suit and it was
so uncomfortable in it but I thought I
had to look the part and slowly as I
evolved I went from the suit – just a
blazer – business casual – now the point
where I’m basically always wearing a
hoodie or a t-shirt this is this is how
I’m naturally this is how I’m most
comfortable when I go to events and I’m
asked to give out awards and it’s a
black-tie event I’m still wearing my
hoodie and I’ve where some slacks and
black pants and some shoes because it’s
Who I am and I’m super comfortable in
that environment and so even though the
people might be wearing tuxedos I’m
happy with who I am and what I’m wearing
and so I think that transition for me is
really helped in that as long as you are
comfortable in your own skin then you
can make the situation be a positive one
that if I show up in a suit but I’m not
confident then I’m not going to make a
good first impression but if I show up
in a hoodie and I am confident then I’m
going to make a good first impression
I’ve had some comments on the channel
where people said hey if you were suit
you’d have more views I think you more
seriously it wouldn’t help me if I was
wearing a suit and I was uncomfortable
getting out in front of the camera it
would not help me get more views it
wouldn’t help me achieve my mission and
so I think the ultimate thing is you
being happy with yourself you find the
self-confidence to understand this is
what you’re all about that you can be
amazing in every situation be yourself
and every situation if you can walk into
a room like that you’ll notice that you
walk in with your chest higher not
because it’s a strategy not because
you’re walking in saying I need to have
my chest I need to I need to I need to
be you know I go to I’m wearing my power
suit this is what I’ve got on here not
because you’re psyching yourself up just
because you are actually
self-confident that the people will
gravitate to and that’s a make a great
first impression
thank you guys so much for watching I’m
a dispute it because Ivan asked me to so
there’s a topic you’d like me to cover
in the next addition to believe life
leave it down in the comments below and
I’ll see what I can do
I’d also love to know what did you take
in this video that you will immediately
apply somehow in your life or your
business what did you think about my
story about making a first impression do
you have something that you want to
share that could add to this video and
help the other members to believe nation
leave it down the comments below I’m
super curious to find out finally I
don’t think of a quick chair to actually
Ashley thank you so much for picking up
a copy of my book your one word it
really really means a lot to me and I
hope you’re enjoying the read so thank
you guys again for watching I hope you
have an amazing day I believe in you I
hope you continue to believe in yourself
and whatever your one word is much love
I’ll see you soon
how can you make that all-important
first impression count to set the tone
for the relationship that follows and
the potential business that can result
from it
my advice would be to tell them a story
it doesn’t have to be war and peace and
it shouldn’t be a story spark interest
keep people engaged and help them to
understand stories allow the conscious
mind to relax but at the same time the
pattern perceiving unconscious mind can
make the match and use the story to help
them connect with you too often in
business we try and connect with people
on a rational level but this isn’t
enough to inspire and influence them to
take action for your cause let me break
it down into the three ways people tend
to answer the question and give you some
examples the first answer that most
people give is the standard answer that
you will have heard and may well have
said many times what do you do I’m an
accountant whether or not people
actually understand what you do they
think they know what you do and so they
switch off they’ve met loads of
accountants who have all given the same
answer they very rarely follow up with a
question and if they do it’s often out
of pity rather than genuine curiosity
and I’m picking on accountants here but
it’s the same if your answer is
solicitor web developer florist or
magician people have a good idea of what
you do and no connection is made so
what’s the next thing that you can do to
grab their attention and create some
curiosity in them you could reply I help
people save money on their taxes or I
take the hassle away from people when it
comes to their business finances but
certainly a better answer than the first
response of I’m an accountant and it
shows them that you can solve a problem
that many businesses face it also
creates a little bit of curiosity or
barely if you wish to answer like this
try and make your answer a little more
memorable try and inject some humor to
make your great first impression a
friend of mine introduces himself as a
crime-fighting spaceman it gets a laugh
every time and always invites the
question well what do you mean by that
this gives him the opportunity to
a little bit about his architectural
practice where he redesigns buildings
that are regulate the victim of
break-ins it’s a great introduction and
is sure to be remembered but it’s not
enough to make that lasting connection
on a subconscious level so here’s the
third way and the best way to answer the
question what do you do incorporate a
story a friend of mine whenever he is
asked this question tells this story
growing up both of his parents owned
their own businesses and we’re never in
control of their finances this meant
that every January there would be panic
in his house and many nasty surprises
that resulted in a lot of unpleasantness
arguments and canceled plans because of
this he’s grown up hating surprises and
has dedicated his life to ensuring that
all the business owners never get nasty
surprises when it comes to their
finances so what does he do he’s an
accountant now imagine you’re networking
and you’ve heard the answer I’m an
accountant seven or eight times and then
you hear this story which accountant are
you going to pass your work to that’s
right the one they hate surprises
he’s made a connection with you and you
will also find it easy to refer him to
friends and business associates notice
that step two invites a question to
which the answer is step one and that
step three includes step two and step
one it’s important to include all three
steps but it must be done in this order
to grab the attention generate curiosity
keep them hooked and make the connection
number two is body language how you walk
how you stand all right are you in an
open posture are you arms crossed and
look at this guy’s the way that you
carry yourself and the nonverbal
communication that you’re doing with
your body is critical and essential to
that first impression I contact smile
handshake all these things play a factor
and if you’re falling down or lacking in
one of these areas it’s going to wreak
havoc on those first impressions all of
them fake it till you make it it’s often
misinterpreted and it’s a great piece of
advice don’t get me wrong but basically
you make it applies only to body
language and
on verbal communication when you start
using fake it till you make it and the
things that you say that’s when you run
into trouble so for instance the CEO who
had a terrible quarter speaking in front
of this company gets up there and says
hey guys we’re doing great you know not
exactly what we want but this is really
on track and we our numbers were kind of
off in the projection so we’re killing
it right now or right guy the networking
event who goes out and pretends that he
has a kind of status at his company that
he can help people up he goes you know
I’m an just send me your resume I’ll get
you a job no problem and he’s got no
such power this happens all the time
people fake power that they don’t have
or a guy who wants to impress a girl
takes you to a nice restaurant really
great but rather than acting like you
know this is a special occasion pretends
that this is something he does all the
time that kind of stuff does not fly so
here’s what you want to do bake until
you make it and the way that you speak
in the way that you carry yourself your
tonality the way that you just stick you
late the way that you breathe that’s
going to affect your head which is going
to actually change the way that you feel
right your physiology does change your
emotion and we’ve talked about this at
links I don’t want to go into it here
but when this comes to the things that
are coming out of your mouth
be honest to a fault so for instance
that CEO might get up there and say guys
listen this quarter was a disappointment
we did not hit our numbers we didn’t do
the things that we needed to do I’ve
spoken to many of you I’ve reflected on
what needs to happen and here’s how
we’re going to do it going forward the
confidence that he speaks with is what’s
going to inspire people to hang on to
continue and the honesty is going to
make them trust him that holy cow like
we can do that he’s not just going to
sugarcoat everything take the guy who
takes a woman to a nice restaurant right
rather than going and be like oh yeah
pretending he knows the maitre d or that
it happens all the time or talking about
its investment portfolio or whatever it
is you might go in there and say listen
I got to be honest this place is way
nicer than the restaurants I normally go
to so I hope that you’re impressed by
the food and that makes you laugh extra
hard at my jokes right put it off on
funny but you can let people know this
is this is special this is nice that
honesty is going to let her know which
is a huge concern for women by the way
that the men that they’re dating are not
being real are not being honest when you
show things that might not be to your
favor
right and you’re not doing it in a
calculated way but you’re doing it
because it’s honest that’s going to
create create a bond of trust
between you that is actually going to
make the relationship go much much
better
talking about how to make a good first
impression rule number two is my
personal favorite and I’d love to know
which one you guys like the best and
also as you watch you if you hear
something that really resonates with you
please leave it in the comments below
and put it in quotes so other people can
be inspired as well and when you write
something down yourself it’s much more
likely to stick for you as well enjoy a
[Music]
friend of mine little ways back was that
a company is a finance company and he
was presenting to the head honcho boss
this guy’s worth 100 million dollars
well I was around a private jet and was
generally an abuser like he was verbally
abusive to everybody in the office so
he’s got this meeting and he’s pitching
to him whether or not they should invest
in a company that they gave him to
research and he gets around to the end
and he says so based on all my research
I think this company is a path it’s just
too risky
head honcho guy David stands up looks at
him the rest of the team says you guys
are pussies everyone else there gets
quiet because they’ve taken this kind of
abuse before my friend is not used to
this right he’s never been treated like
this so he looks right back at the boss
and says David where I come from calling
another man that is the worst
thing you could do you would immediately
start a fistfight don’t ever call me a
again
and get quiet and everyone in the rink
is behind it and David gets quiet few
seconds pass and I’m sure they must have
seemed a like eternity and David says
I’m sorry I won’t never do that again
completely goes back meeting starts
rolling people pick up the slack but
what happened is after that my friend
never ever received that kind of abuse
that people in the office continue to
get from him right that guy never gave
him any crap again it’s because he set a
boundary and even though he was low man
on the totem pole he created respect
this is what happens when people cross
lines I’m not saying that you need to
shout their faces off my
I’m saying that you need to do what most
people do and just go see key you know
it’s okay I’ve seen people do this in so
many situations right somebody makes a
racist sexist comment that they don’t
like in a business meeting somebody
shows up really late doesn’t respect
your time or I know a girl in a business
meeting she was basically being hit on
by the guy and you know what to do so
she just kind of laughed it off
pretended that it was just a joke in me
scenarios what you need to do in so many
words to say one hey I don’t appreciate
what you just did and two don’t ever do
it again and then quiet that is it I’m
not asking you to yell at someone I’m
not asking you to take it home I’m not
asking you to complain about with your
friends if you do this you will find
that the boundaries you set create more
respect in all of your interactions
incredibly powerful I can probably get
somebody to consume something from me
within the first 13 seconds let alone 30
seconds because it’s not what I’m going
to say it’s how I feel see words are
great but energy is a whole different
game and I win on that game right and so
within the first 30 seconds I’m going to
establish and have always established
for my entire life from first grade
first 30 seconds into any business
meeting to when I’m in a big off site
when everybody goes around the room and
says I’m Stefan I work at vaynermedia
but then I do my I’m Gary I’m a Jets fan
like I within 30 seconds set the tone
vibe wise if I don’t get to say
something which is rare for me not to
say something within the first 30
seconds I establish that I’m different
yeah I’m different I don’t want you to
forget that if you first impressions
have nothing to do with you as much as
they have to do with the other person
and I know you know that as well but how
present do you really get for other
people you don’t think about the last
time you were with your partner your
spouse your lover or your the person
you’re an intimate relationship with it
if you are I mean how president have you
really been with them at dinner how
president are you with them when you’re
walking in the door
how present are you with them in general
because that level of presence is
probably what you’re carrying into the
social world too
I want you to remember remember that if
you really want to make a difference and
you really want to make an impact a
great quote unquote first impression it
comes from being present with other
people and truly listening being engaged
and interested in who they are what
they’re about what’s going on in their
world part of the having being great at
first impressions is asking questions of
other people and genuinely meaning them
not your it these are the five great
questions to ask of networking event
meuk makes you another ass who’s asking
those five questions go ask questions
that are real for you like if you meet
somebody ask them questions that are
authentic for you that that’s it do what
what you’re interested tell people hey
I’m interested in this how do you
perceive it what do you do learn from
them
don’t be so focused on bragging about
yourself to make a first impression
instead learn enough about someone that
you can brag about them to the next guy
meaning it’s now you’re talking with
someone you learn something about them
someone walks up you’d be like hey
what’s your name opa Pete this is
Barbara Barbara is awesome she used to
tell me how she’s like this and now
you’re just bragging up on Barbara
versus worry about bragging about
yourself and in that situation you will
be the person of influence you’ve heard
it said that you never get a second
chance to make a good first impression
the fact is that when you first meet a
person he makes a judgement about you in
approximately four seconds and his
judgement is finalized largely within 30
seconds of the initial contact in a
survey of the members of the American
personnel Association those men and
women who are responsible for hiring
people for large companies members
generally agreed that they made their
decision to hire or not to hire a person
within 30 seconds of the first meeting
so everything contributing to the way
you look on the outside is important if
it’s not helping you it’s hurting you
while you cannot control your physical
features you have total control over
your dress and grooming in fact we
generally assume that a person
consciously and deliberately makes a
personal statement of
himself with every part of his
appearance that he can affect in any way
your clothes are responsible for 95% of
the first impression that you make on
someone because in most instances your
clothes cover 95% of your body you’re
grooming your hairstyle and the other
ways that you can determine your
appearance from the neck up also exert
an enormous influence on the way that
you are perceived on your ëthis with
someone else
your accessories such as purse or
briefcase watch tie rings pens and other
elements all make a statement that will
or will not help to put you in a
position to influence another person and
last but certainly not least is
something that I do that is a little
trick all right it’s like first
impression espionage because there’s no
getting around like in somebody when
they actually give you a compliment when
I meet somebody for the first time I try
to look for something that I can
compliment them on all right because
automatically you complement them they
like you more it happens right because
when somebody gives you a compliment
you’re like yeah you just like a more it
works gentleman and then when they think
of you next time they’re going to think
of that dude who gave them the
compliment that they automatically like
gentlemen here’s the deal first
impressions we only have one chance to
make it so make yours count so I have
maybe a different perspective on making
a good first impression I think the best
first impression that you can make is
when you are feeling confident in
yourself I reminded the clip between Jay
Z and Warren Buffett where they asked
Jay Z if you ever feel uncomfortable
going into these business boardrooms
because he wasn’t he’s not from the
business school he didn’t go to you know
business university and he said I’m
always comfortable going into any room
because I like me and he didn’t go to
university but he went to the School of
Life and as long as he’s confident
himself and he carries that throughout
any situation that he’s in and all he
has to do is not try to be somebody else
but just try to be himself and that
allows him to win and I think if you
embrace that philosophy it’s not about
how firm your handshake is or what
clothes you’re wearing or what the first
word out of your mouth is at the end of
day for me it’s about your own mindset
your own
often it Jones not like confidence both
staying big ego but just feeling
self-confident and happy as a human
being if you carry that into every
situation that you’re in you’ll make a
great first impression as an example I
think back of my entrepreneurial career
when I first started meeting with
entrepreneurs I always had a suit on
full-on suit when I’d be working I’d be
in a hoodie or whatever something else
but then when I have a meeting it would
always be full-on stupid have one kind
of sit at the office waiting for me
whenever I had that meeting because I
felt like to make that good first
impression I needed to wear a suit and
if you go back to some of my first
videos if you look at like the Walt
Disney video or some of the early ones
you’ll see that I’m in a suit and it was
so uncomfortable in it but I thought I
had to look the part and slowly as I
evolved I went from the suit – just a
blazer – business casual – now the point
where I’m basically always wearing a
hoodie or a t-shirt this is this is how
I’m naturally this is how I’m most
comfortable when I go to events and I’m
asked to give out awards and it’s a
black-tie event I’m still wearing my
hoodie and I’ve where some slacks and
black pants and some shoes because it’s
Who I am and I’m super comfortable in
that environment and so even though the
people might be wearing tuxedos I’m
happy with who I am and what I’m wearing
and so I think that transition for me is
really helped in that as long as you are
comfortable in your own skin then you
can make the situation be a positive one
that if I show up in a suit but I’m not
confident then I’m not going to make a
good first impression but if I show up
in a hoodie and I am confident then I’m
going to make a good first impression
I’ve had some comments on the channel
where people said hey if you were suit
you’d have more views I think you more
seriously it wouldn’t help me if I was
wearing a suit and I was uncomfortable
getting out in front of the camera it
would not help me get more views it
wouldn’t help me achieve my mission and
so I think the ultimate thing is you
being happy with yourself you find the
self-confidence to understand this is
what you’re all about that you can be
amazing in every situation be yourself
and every situation if you can walk into
a room like that you’ll notice that you
walk in with your chest higher not
because it’s a strategy not because
you’re walking in saying I need to have
my chest I need to I need to I need to
be you know I go to I’m wearing my power
suit this is what I’ve got on here not
because you’re psyching yourself up just
because you are actually
self-confident that the people will
gravitate to and that’s a make a great
first impression
thank you guys so much for watching I’m
a dispute it because Ivan asked me to so
there’s a topic you’d like me to cover
in the next addition to believe life
leave it down in the comments below and
I’ll see what I can do
I’d also love to know what did you take
in this video that you will immediately
apply somehow in your life or your
business what did you think about my
story about making a first impression do
you have something that you want to
share that could add to this video and
help the other members to believe nation
leave it down the comments below I’m
super curious to find out finally I
don’t think of a quick chair to actually
Ashley thank you so much for picking up
a copy of my book your one word it
really really means a lot to me and I
hope you’re enjoying the read so thank
you guys again for watching I hope you
have an amazing day I believe in you I
hope you continue to believe in yourself
and whatever your one word is much love
I’ll see you soon
how can you make that all-important
first impression count to set the tone
for the relationship that follows and
the potential business that can result
from it
my advice would be to tell them a story
it doesn’t have to be war and peace and
it shouldn’t be a story spark interest
keep people engaged and help them to
understand stories allow the conscious
mind to relax but at the same time the
pattern perceiving unconscious mind can
make the match and use the story to help
them connect with you too often in
business we try and connect with people
on a rational level but this isn’t
enough to inspire and influence them to
take action for your cause let me break
it down into the three ways people tend
to answer the question and give you some
examples the first answer that most
people give is the standard answer that
you will have heard and may well have
said many times what do you do I’m an
accountant whether or not people
actually understand what you do they
think they know what you do and so they
switch off they’ve met loads of
accountants who have all given the same
answer they very rarely follow up with a
question and if they do it’s often out
of pity rather than genuine curiosity
and I’m picking on accountants here but
it’s the same if your answer is
solicitor web developer florist or
magician people have a good idea of what
you do and no connection is made so
what’s the next thing that you can do to
grab their attention and create some
curiosity in them you could reply I help
people save money on their taxes or I
take the hassle away from people when it
comes to their business finances but
certainly a better answer than the first
response of I’m an accountant and it
shows them that you can solve a problem
that many businesses face it also
creates a little bit of curiosity or
barely if you wish to answer like this
try and make your answer a little more
memorable try and inject some humor to
make your great first impression a
friend of mine introduces himself as a
crime-fighting spaceman it gets a laugh
every time and always invites the
question well what do you mean by that
this gives him the opportunity to
a little bit about his architectural
practice where he redesigns buildings
that are regulate the victim of
break-ins it’s a great introduction and
is sure to be remembered but it’s not
enough to make that lasting connection
on a subconscious level so here’s the
third way and the best way to answer the
question what do you do incorporate a
story a friend of mine whenever he is
asked this question tells this story
growing up both of his parents owned
their own businesses and we’re never in
control of their finances this meant
that every January there would be panic
in his house and many nasty surprises
that resulted in a lot of unpleasantness
arguments and canceled plans because of
this he’s grown up hating surprises and
has dedicated his life to ensuring that
all the business owners never get nasty
surprises when it comes to their
finances so what does he do he’s an
accountant now imagine you’re networking
and you’ve heard the answer I’m an
accountant seven or eight times and then
you hear this story which accountant are
you going to pass your work to that’s
right the one they hate surprises
he’s made a connection with you and you
will also find it easy to refer him to
friends and business associates notice
that step two invites a question to
which the answer is step one and that
step three includes step two and step
one it’s important to include all three
steps but it must be done in this order
to grab the attention generate curiosity
keep them hooked and make the connection
number two is body language how you walk
how you stand all right are you in an
open posture are you arms crossed and
look at this guy’s the way that you
carry yourself and the nonverbal
communication that you’re doing with
your body is critical and essential to
that first impression I contact smile
handshake all these things play a factor
and if you’re falling down or lacking in
one of these areas it’s going to wreak
havoc on those first impressions all of
them fake it till you make it it’s often
misinterpreted and it’s a great piece of
advice don’t get me wrong but basically
you make it applies only to body
language and
on verbal communication when you start
using fake it till you make it and the
things that you say that’s when you run
into trouble so for instance the CEO who
had a terrible quarter speaking in front
of this company gets up there and says
hey guys we’re doing great you know not
exactly what we want but this is really
on track and we our numbers were kind of
off in the projection so we’re killing
it right now or right guy the networking
event who goes out and pretends that he
has a kind of status at his company that
he can help people up he goes you know
I’m an just send me your resume I’ll get
you a job no problem and he’s got no
such power this happens all the time
people fake power that they don’t have
or a guy who wants to impress a girl
takes you to a nice restaurant really
great but rather than acting like you
know this is a special occasion pretends
that this is something he does all the
time that kind of stuff does not fly so
here’s what you want to do bake until
you make it and the way that you speak
in the way that you carry yourself your
tonality the way that you just stick you
late the way that you breathe that’s
going to affect your head which is going
to actually change the way that you feel
right your physiology does change your
emotion and we’ve talked about this at
links I don’t want to go into it here
but when this comes to the things that
are coming out of your mouth
be honest to a fault so for instance
that CEO might get up there and say guys
listen this quarter was a disappointment
we did not hit our numbers we didn’t do
the things that we needed to do I’ve
spoken to many of you I’ve reflected on
what needs to happen and here’s how
we’re going to do it going forward the
confidence that he speaks with is what’s
going to inspire people to hang on to
continue and the honesty is going to
make them trust him that holy cow like
we can do that he’s not just going to
sugarcoat everything take the guy who
takes a woman to a nice restaurant right
rather than going and be like oh yeah
pretending he knows the maitre d or that
it happens all the time or talking about
its investment portfolio or whatever it
is you might go in there and say listen
I got to be honest this place is way
nicer than the restaurants I normally go
to so I hope that you’re impressed by
the food and that makes you laugh extra
hard at my jokes right put it off on
funny but you can let people know this
is this is special this is nice that
honesty is going to let her know which
is a huge concern for women by the way
that the men that they’re dating are not
being real are not being honest when you
show things that might not be to your
favor
right and you’re not doing it in a
calculated way but you’re doing it
because it’s honest that’s going to
create create a bond of trust
between you that is actually going to
make the relationship go much much
better
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