one I believe nation today we’re going
to talk about how you can fix yourself
so you can change the world the truth is
you don’t have anything to give that you
don’t have so you have to keep your own
self
full that’s your job I say to the my
girls all of the time that your real
work is to figure out where your power
base is and to work on the alignment of
your personality your gifts that you
have to give with the real reason why
you’re here that’s that’s the number one
thing you have to do is to work on
yourself and to fill your self up and
keep your cup full keep yourself full
now I used to be afraid of that I used
to be afraid particularly from people
who say L oh she said she’s so full of
herself
she’s so close or so and now I embrace
it I considered a compliment that I am
full of myself because you only when
you’re full I’m full I’m overflowing my
cup runneth over
I have so much I have so much to offer
and so much to give and I am not afraid
of honoring myself you know it’s
miraculous when you think about it first
of all for me my father and mother never
married they had sex one time underneath
an oak tree because she was wearing a
poodle skirt in 1953 and my dad to this
day says I want to know what’s under
that skirt that’s what I won’t know
you want to know what was under the
skirt they didn’t really have a
relationship she wanted one but you know
he went under the skirt and then that
was it
and one time under the oak tree BAM
Renaissance woman is why that’s why I
know my life is bigger than that my life
has to be bigger as yours is bigger than
a moment than the poodle skirt it’s much
bigger the design the the the reason why
I’m here is much bigger than oh I think
I want to see what’s under that so the
ability to take care of that to honor
that to honor yourself and that which is
greater than yourself that which was the
reason for your being here that that
there’s no selflessness in that because
only through that do you have the
ability to offer yourself your whole
self your full expression of who you are
to the rest of the world
spend more time on yourself than what
you’ve been spending it’s very important
you owe that to yourself I was reading a
book Bachman Dino called the University
of success read one line gave me a chill
I didn’t have to read anything else in
the book he said many of us never
realize how greatness because we become
sidetracked by secondary activity we
spread ourselves too thin don’t know how
to say no and we find ourselves doing
all kinds of things and never ever have
time to do those things that we need to
do to work on ourselves and then there
goes a second that goes another second
that goes another second and we can’t
stop it whole time and before you know
it you wake up one day and you’re behind
in your dreams and your bills
so decide that you’re going to take some
time to work on you that you deserve
that from yourself that your life
deserves some prime time because you are
creating your own production as Michael
Todd would say you are the star of your
show you are the director you’re writing
the script and you will determine
whether your life is a smash office hip
or flop you determined that when we
think we are unworthy it means that for
some reason we believe that we have to
prove we have a right to our space on
the planet in life as we are being who
we are and that means that we will do
all manner of wonderfulness to prove we
deserve to be here and usually some of
the common things are we over commit
over give we over do we over excuse we
over compensate and we stay in difficult
desperate hurtful harmful situations
much longer than it is wise or
productive to do so worth what it is
that you expect from the world in
response to who you are is very
different from value self value means
how you hold yourself within yourself
and what you expect as a result now in
order to get to the word if you’re not
holding yourself within yourself as
worthy then what you expect from the
world is surely gonna hurt you
so here’s an assignment for you for the
next 40 days every morning you are to
write 40 statements of I am
I am love I am beauty I am peace I enjoy
I am power I am worth I am value
I am truth I am life I am well help
whatever it is I am and write it as a
noun
not as a verb not I am loving or I am
lovable I am love I am power every day
for 40 days if you miss a day go back
and do it again I it will restore your
worth other people in our lives don’t
need us to support and take care of them
the way we feel like they do we feel
like often because we’re caretakers
we’re leaders we’re managers we we love
those we feel like we have to do
everything for them ardan mindset needs
to switch from i need to take care of
everybody to I need to equip and empower
everybody to take care of themselves you
don’t have to cook the kids lunch every
day they can be taught to get their own
lunch
you know I’m not talking about handing a
gun make them go shop or shoot their own
cows I’m talking about like look a kid
can be taught to make a sandwich
you know empower them to handle their
own stuff and I don’t mean just your
children I mean your team your team
doesn’t need to be micromanaged let them
run with the ball you know learn to
equip and empower people versus take
care of them and all of a sudden you
were getting hours and hours and hours
time back for you to follow your own
dreams time back for you to sleep time
back for you to pick a bigger picture of
the world for for you to find your own
sense of creativity and contribution
again versus micromanage in every little
element of your day stop micromanaging
start empowering and you’ll see a sudden
huge shift and everything in your life
every day when I wake up in the morning
I go into meditation and I ask for
guidance from the powers intangible
powers and I get focused I think about
what is Willoughby today okay let me
check that off make handle that what
does Jane me today what does daddy need
today and okay Jada before the day is
daaad you better make sure that you take
care of yourself and that’s a new thing
for me when you and Jaden would
firstborn
I had forgotten how to take care of
myself because you guys were my world
you guys were my everything you still
are but I have forgotten how to do that
and at the end of the day the one thing
that I always want to tell you well oh
and the reason why you always have to be
in communication especially with me your
family your grandmother your father your
brothers your friends the people who
love you you have to understand that
life is a journey communication creates
partnerships hmm okay that we are here
to assist you that we can’t we can’t
make your life for you and we can’t help
you with the things that we don’t know
and that you always have to remember to
take care of you
first and foremost because when you stop
taking care of yourself you get out of
balance and you really forget how to
take care of others you have to take
care of yourself in order to have the
alignment and the power to take care of
others at the capacity that we do
because it fills the well what what I
believe that I do take so much energy so
much work from heart spirit and
creativity that I had to be responsible
enough to take care of me because you
know what happens imbalance comes you
know what happens I look to you going I
say will know you’ve got to do this
because if you don’t you you become I
start looking towards you I start making
you responsible for my happiness and a
lot of times you know we do we look to
our men we look to our husbands and our
boyfriends and we go you I’ve given all
this up for you and you’ve got to make
this right by me and you’re supposed to
make me happy because we’ve lost our way
on how to make ourselves happy we lost
our way so what I had to do and what I
had to learn was how to get more
balanced in over the years each year
each day I get more and more and more
and more imbalance more and more and
more in alignment and you know what I
get more and more happy and the very
thing that I thought would make you
unhappy or make Jaden unhappy or make
daddy unhappy actually is fulfilling for
you guys as well even though you might
it might not be a tangible reason but
the more happy I am in the more
fulfilled I am it works for the family
and when I’m not it doesn’t it’s really
that simple it all comes down to one
word shut the front door you know what
I’m talking about
the f-bomb it’s everywhere you hear it
all the time and I honestly don’t
understand what the appeal is of the
word I mean you don’t sound smart when
you say it and it’s really not
expressing how you really feel
it’s sort of a cheap you know shot to
take and of course you know I’m talking
about the word fine how you doing I’m
fine
oh really you are dragging around those
extra 40 pounds you’re fine
feeling like roommates with your spouse
and you’re fine you haven’t had sex in
four months you’re fine really I don’t
think so but see here’s the deal with
saying that you’re fine it’s actually
genius because if you’re fine you don’t
have to do anything about it but when
you think about this word fine it just
makes me so angry I mean here we are at
a conference about being alive and
you’re gonna describe the experience of
being alive as fine a flimsy and feeble
word your crappy say your crappy if
you’re amazing say you’re amazing tell
the truth and this not only goes for the
social construct oh I don’t want to
burden you with the fact that I hate my
life or you know I am amazing but that
would make you feel terrible the bigger
issue the bigger issue with fine is that
you say it to yourself that thing that
you want I guarantee you you’ve
convinced yourself that you’re fine not
having it that’s why you’re not pushing
yourself
it’s the areas in your life where you’ve
given up where you’ve said oh I’m fine
my mom’s never gonna change so I just
can’t have that conversation I’m fine
you know we got to wait until the kids
graduate before we get divorced so we’ll
just sleep in separate bedrooms I’m fine
I lost my job I can barely pay my bills
but whatever it’s hard to get a job and
you know one of the reasons why this
word also just
annoys me so much is scientists have
calculated oh yeah I’m coming down
scientists have calculated the odds of
you being born that’s right they’ve
crunched the numbers I see you up there
they have crunched the numbers on you
yeah no you guys standing up you want to
sit down for this they’ve priced the
numbers on you being born and they took
into account all of the wars and the
natural disasters and the dinosaurs and
everything else and do you realize that
the odds the odds of you Yeah right here
put your computer way stand up for me
done so the odds of Doug here turn
around say hi to everybody the odds yeah
of Doug Doug being born at the moment in
time he was born to the parents you were
born to with the DNA structure that you
have a hundred or no one and four
hundred trillion
isn’t it amazing so lucky yes you’re not
fine you’re fantastic
you have life-changing ideas for a
reason and it’s not the torture yourself
thank you thank you Doug you know
Christine was right when she said all of
you could be on stage because all of you
are all in this category one and four
hundred trillion all day long you have
ideas that could change your life that
could change the world that could change
the way that you feel now what do you do
with them nothing oh hopefully it won’t
moon you
you didn’t pay for that thank you guys
so much for watching this was a really
important video for me I feel like every
time that I’ve made a significant
improvement in my business and in the
impact I’m able to have it’s always come
from making a shift in my mindset and
believing in myself more in breaking
through limiting personal beliefs so
watching this helped me and makes me
think like if I hadn’t seen this video
earlier in my career I would have had
breakthroughs faster and I can still
apply a lot of the lessons in this video
to help me make even more breakthroughs
in my own mindset fix myself even more
so I can have a bigger impact so I’m
really curious from you guys what what
clip had the biggest impact on you and
why and what change is it gonna make in
your life what new reflection came about
by watching this video I’m really
curious to find out leave in the
comments below I’m gonna join in the
discussion and if you have an idea for a
future edition of belief Life a topic
you’d like me to cover leave it in the
comments below and we’ll see what we can
do thank you so much for watching have
an amazing day
continue to believe and I’ll see you
soon
to talk about how you can fix yourself
so you can change the world the truth is
you don’t have anything to give that you
don’t have so you have to keep your own
self
full that’s your job I say to the my
girls all of the time that your real
work is to figure out where your power
base is and to work on the alignment of
your personality your gifts that you
have to give with the real reason why
you’re here that’s that’s the number one
thing you have to do is to work on
yourself and to fill your self up and
keep your cup full keep yourself full
now I used to be afraid of that I used
to be afraid particularly from people
who say L oh she said she’s so full of
herself
she’s so close or so and now I embrace
it I considered a compliment that I am
full of myself because you only when
you’re full I’m full I’m overflowing my
cup runneth over
I have so much I have so much to offer
and so much to give and I am not afraid
of honoring myself you know it’s
miraculous when you think about it first
of all for me my father and mother never
married they had sex one time underneath
an oak tree because she was wearing a
poodle skirt in 1953 and my dad to this
day says I want to know what’s under
that skirt that’s what I won’t know
you want to know what was under the
skirt they didn’t really have a
relationship she wanted one but you know
he went under the skirt and then that
was it
and one time under the oak tree BAM
Renaissance woman is why that’s why I
know my life is bigger than that my life
has to be bigger as yours is bigger than
a moment than the poodle skirt it’s much
bigger the design the the the reason why
I’m here is much bigger than oh I think
I want to see what’s under that so the
ability to take care of that to honor
that to honor yourself and that which is
greater than yourself that which was the
reason for your being here that that
there’s no selflessness in that because
only through that do you have the
ability to offer yourself your whole
self your full expression of who you are
to the rest of the world
spend more time on yourself than what
you’ve been spending it’s very important
you owe that to yourself I was reading a
book Bachman Dino called the University
of success read one line gave me a chill
I didn’t have to read anything else in
the book he said many of us never
realize how greatness because we become
sidetracked by secondary activity we
spread ourselves too thin don’t know how
to say no and we find ourselves doing
all kinds of things and never ever have
time to do those things that we need to
do to work on ourselves and then there
goes a second that goes another second
that goes another second and we can’t
stop it whole time and before you know
it you wake up one day and you’re behind
in your dreams and your bills
so decide that you’re going to take some
time to work on you that you deserve
that from yourself that your life
deserves some prime time because you are
creating your own production as Michael
Todd would say you are the star of your
show you are the director you’re writing
the script and you will determine
whether your life is a smash office hip
or flop you determined that when we
think we are unworthy it means that for
some reason we believe that we have to
prove we have a right to our space on
the planet in life as we are being who
we are and that means that we will do
all manner of wonderfulness to prove we
deserve to be here and usually some of
the common things are we over commit
over give we over do we over excuse we
over compensate and we stay in difficult
desperate hurtful harmful situations
much longer than it is wise or
productive to do so worth what it is
that you expect from the world in
response to who you are is very
different from value self value means
how you hold yourself within yourself
and what you expect as a result now in
order to get to the word if you’re not
holding yourself within yourself as
worthy then what you expect from the
world is surely gonna hurt you
so here’s an assignment for you for the
next 40 days every morning you are to
write 40 statements of I am
I am love I am beauty I am peace I enjoy
I am power I am worth I am value
I am truth I am life I am well help
whatever it is I am and write it as a
noun
not as a verb not I am loving or I am
lovable I am love I am power every day
for 40 days if you miss a day go back
and do it again I it will restore your
worth other people in our lives don’t
need us to support and take care of them
the way we feel like they do we feel
like often because we’re caretakers
we’re leaders we’re managers we we love
those we feel like we have to do
everything for them ardan mindset needs
to switch from i need to take care of
everybody to I need to equip and empower
everybody to take care of themselves you
don’t have to cook the kids lunch every
day they can be taught to get their own
lunch
you know I’m not talking about handing a
gun make them go shop or shoot their own
cows I’m talking about like look a kid
can be taught to make a sandwich
you know empower them to handle their
own stuff and I don’t mean just your
children I mean your team your team
doesn’t need to be micromanaged let them
run with the ball you know learn to
equip and empower people versus take
care of them and all of a sudden you
were getting hours and hours and hours
time back for you to follow your own
dreams time back for you to sleep time
back for you to pick a bigger picture of
the world for for you to find your own
sense of creativity and contribution
again versus micromanage in every little
element of your day stop micromanaging
start empowering and you’ll see a sudden
huge shift and everything in your life
every day when I wake up in the morning
I go into meditation and I ask for
guidance from the powers intangible
powers and I get focused I think about
what is Willoughby today okay let me
check that off make handle that what
does Jane me today what does daddy need
today and okay Jada before the day is
daaad you better make sure that you take
care of yourself and that’s a new thing
for me when you and Jaden would
firstborn
I had forgotten how to take care of
myself because you guys were my world
you guys were my everything you still
are but I have forgotten how to do that
and at the end of the day the one thing
that I always want to tell you well oh
and the reason why you always have to be
in communication especially with me your
family your grandmother your father your
brothers your friends the people who
love you you have to understand that
life is a journey communication creates
partnerships hmm okay that we are here
to assist you that we can’t we can’t
make your life for you and we can’t help
you with the things that we don’t know
and that you always have to remember to
take care of you
first and foremost because when you stop
taking care of yourself you get out of
balance and you really forget how to
take care of others you have to take
care of yourself in order to have the
alignment and the power to take care of
others at the capacity that we do
because it fills the well what what I
believe that I do take so much energy so
much work from heart spirit and
creativity that I had to be responsible
enough to take care of me because you
know what happens imbalance comes you
know what happens I look to you going I
say will know you’ve got to do this
because if you don’t you you become I
start looking towards you I start making
you responsible for my happiness and a
lot of times you know we do we look to
our men we look to our husbands and our
boyfriends and we go you I’ve given all
this up for you and you’ve got to make
this right by me and you’re supposed to
make me happy because we’ve lost our way
on how to make ourselves happy we lost
our way so what I had to do and what I
had to learn was how to get more
balanced in over the years each year
each day I get more and more and more
and more imbalance more and more and
more in alignment and you know what I
get more and more happy and the very
thing that I thought would make you
unhappy or make Jaden unhappy or make
daddy unhappy actually is fulfilling for
you guys as well even though you might
it might not be a tangible reason but
the more happy I am in the more
fulfilled I am it works for the family
and when I’m not it doesn’t it’s really
that simple it all comes down to one
word shut the front door you know what
I’m talking about
the f-bomb it’s everywhere you hear it
all the time and I honestly don’t
understand what the appeal is of the
word I mean you don’t sound smart when
you say it and it’s really not
expressing how you really feel
it’s sort of a cheap you know shot to
take and of course you know I’m talking
about the word fine how you doing I’m
fine
oh really you are dragging around those
extra 40 pounds you’re fine
feeling like roommates with your spouse
and you’re fine you haven’t had sex in
four months you’re fine really I don’t
think so but see here’s the deal with
saying that you’re fine it’s actually
genius because if you’re fine you don’t
have to do anything about it but when
you think about this word fine it just
makes me so angry I mean here we are at
a conference about being alive and
you’re gonna describe the experience of
being alive as fine a flimsy and feeble
word your crappy say your crappy if
you’re amazing say you’re amazing tell
the truth and this not only goes for the
social construct oh I don’t want to
burden you with the fact that I hate my
life or you know I am amazing but that
would make you feel terrible the bigger
issue the bigger issue with fine is that
you say it to yourself that thing that
you want I guarantee you you’ve
convinced yourself that you’re fine not
having it that’s why you’re not pushing
yourself
it’s the areas in your life where you’ve
given up where you’ve said oh I’m fine
my mom’s never gonna change so I just
can’t have that conversation I’m fine
you know we got to wait until the kids
graduate before we get divorced so we’ll
just sleep in separate bedrooms I’m fine
I lost my job I can barely pay my bills
but whatever it’s hard to get a job and
you know one of the reasons why this
word also just
annoys me so much is scientists have
calculated oh yeah I’m coming down
scientists have calculated the odds of
you being born that’s right they’ve
crunched the numbers I see you up there
they have crunched the numbers on you
yeah no you guys standing up you want to
sit down for this they’ve priced the
numbers on you being born and they took
into account all of the wars and the
natural disasters and the dinosaurs and
everything else and do you realize that
the odds the odds of you Yeah right here
put your computer way stand up for me
done so the odds of Doug here turn
around say hi to everybody the odds yeah
of Doug Doug being born at the moment in
time he was born to the parents you were
born to with the DNA structure that you
have a hundred or no one and four
hundred trillion
isn’t it amazing so lucky yes you’re not
fine you’re fantastic
you have life-changing ideas for a
reason and it’s not the torture yourself
thank you thank you Doug you know
Christine was right when she said all of
you could be on stage because all of you
are all in this category one and four
hundred trillion all day long you have
ideas that could change your life that
could change the world that could change
the way that you feel now what do you do
with them nothing oh hopefully it won’t
moon you
you didn’t pay for that thank you guys
so much for watching this was a really
important video for me I feel like every
time that I’ve made a significant
improvement in my business and in the
impact I’m able to have it’s always come
from making a shift in my mindset and
believing in myself more in breaking
through limiting personal beliefs so
watching this helped me and makes me
think like if I hadn’t seen this video
earlier in my career I would have had
breakthroughs faster and I can still
apply a lot of the lessons in this video
to help me make even more breakthroughs
in my own mindset fix myself even more
so I can have a bigger impact so I’m
really curious from you guys what what
clip had the biggest impact on you and
why and what change is it gonna make in
your life what new reflection came about
by watching this video I’m really
curious to find out leave in the
comments below I’m gonna join in the
discussion and if you have an idea for a
future edition of belief Life a topic
you’d like me to cover leave it in the
comments below and we’ll see what we can
do thank you so much for watching have
an amazing day
continue to believe and I’ll see you
soon
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