I was able to make my dreams come true
and in this program I’m going to teach
you how to make your dreams come true so
let’s jump into these six steps of
success that we’re talking about here
step number one you have to decide what
you want
now that sounds so obvious but so many
people go through life not being really
clear about what their goals are what
their vision is what their dream is I
have a cartoon at home that I have above
my desk and it’s the cartoon of two
spiders sitting at the end of a sliding
board and the kind of kids slide down
there’s a big spider web across the
place where the kids would come off and
one spiders looking at the other and he
says you know if we pull this off we’ll
eat like kings and even though it’s a
little gross it makes a point but I want
you to have a big vision a big vision I
want you to go for everything that is
you want in life and to get in touch
with that from your heart so we were
told a lot of us you can’t have that you
can’t do this
forget all that if none of that mattered
and anything was possible what would you
want so one of the phrases I have is
asked what not how because many of you
don’t know how you’re gonna get it and
if you don’t see how you can achieve it
then you don’t you’re afraid to commit
to it well I can’t see how to have a
perfect relationship with my husband so
I don’t want to commit to that because I
don’t want to be a failure I can’t see
how I could ever get medical school
given the income we have so I don’t want
to commit to that what I’m gonna teach
you here is if you’ll make the
commitment and do these other steps that
we’re gonna talk about the how we’ll
show up along the way see my ideal
vision there’s no drive-by shootings in
Los Angeles my diet ideal community
world there’s no hunger there’s no
illiteracy there’s no gangs people say
oh that’s impossible
well it’s only possible if we start to
visualize it and decide this is what we
want and once we commit to it as I said
to how we show up and finally are there
any accomplishments you want to have
before you die maybe you want to get
that PhD I want to write a book or
publish a letter to the editor in the
newspaper or make that trip around the
world whatever it is for you
now don’t let your mind tell you it’s
not possible I want the inner child in
you know you know the one that says come
on mommy I want to buy that you know we
can’t afford that okay I want the little
kid in there to thinks anything is
possible to decide what you want and a
spiritual part of this comes in I
believe that in your heart you really
know what’s for your highest good and if
you let yourself go there then you’re
going to be lined up the old not by will
or not my will but thy will and so I
want that energy to come through as your
life purpose and we can’t go into that
and like great depth and a small seminar
here that we have in terms of time but
again this is not about your ego needs
it’s about what you really need to do to
feel fulfilled to feel filled full of
yourself and if you’ll go there and
trust yourself
then you get a level of satisfaction you
can’t believe the last part of this is
you got to tell other people what your
vision is now a lot of teachers out
there say oh don’t tell people what your
vision is because they’ll rain all over
your parade and you know then you’ll
lose your enthusiasm remember surround
yourself with positive people and if
someone does rain on your parade just
say thank you for your contribution all
right because they’re doing the best
they can to be of value to you maybe
they think you can’t do it just say
thank you move on go to someone else
but as you start to share your vision
and your dreams with others some people
are gonna go I have that same dream you
know I hope you Martin Luther King stood
up and said I have a dream a lot of
other people went hey I share that dream
let me why not ball March with you and
eventually something started to happen
in terms of fighting racism in our
culture but had to be someone that stood
up so other people could attract to it
and you’ll be surprised who will become
a traffic tear dream the second step to
success it’s so critical is you’ve got
to set specific goals and objectives for
your vision your dream it’s a nice thing
to say I want a winter home in Hawaii
but that won’t do it it’s got to be
measurable it’s got to be in time and
space how much do you want in my win now
let me give you a good example of this
why it’s so important to make a list of
goals I tell people in my seminars you
want a goal or an objective a measurable
thing for every part of your vision and
I think you want to have a hundred and
one goals you really go for it
now John Goddard who we wrote about in
our first Chicken Soup for the Soul book
when he was 15 he said a list of 127
goals that he wanted to achieve now he’s
sitting in his dining room with his dad
and all these people are coming over to
dinner these are the big successful
people in town and he’s listening to him
talk to his dad as a successful
businessman saying things like you know
I wish before I’d started my business
I’d traveled around the world because
now it’s too late well I wish I had
spent more time with my children well I
wish I had read the encyclopedia or I
wish I had learned music I wish I’d
learned to play an instrument at least
that I don’t want to live my life and
get to believe in 50 60 and go I wish I
had or to live on one of my friends call
someday I’ll write someday I’ll do this
someday I’ll do that and you never get
there and so he made a list of 127 calls
now these were not minor goals these
were things like visit the Great Pyramid
in Egypt visit the Great Wall of China
visit the Vatican meet the Pope learn
three languages read the Encyclopedia
shoot out a candle with a 22 rifle for
100
the fly an airplane learn to you know
control a boat learn to type 150 words
have been all these different things and
he’s achieved a hundred and fifteen of
those 127 goals the last one he just
accomplished was learning to play polo
now the guys in his 70s and polo I
understand is a pretty strenuous sport
in his polo class was Sylvester Stallone
the actor what didn’t he
what a neat life and this guy’s the real
Indiana Jones right he’s doing all this
stuff out there his next goal in his
training for us to just start at the the
mouth of the Yangtze River or the
beginning of it then sail all the way
down all the way through China and he’s
getting ready to go do that so he wakes
up every morning he knows exactly what
he’s working toward he’s got a blueprint
for his life what about you do you have
a blueprint for your life and if not why
not let’s look at this idea of
specificity for a minute like a winter
home in Hawaii very nice but if I say I
will own a two-bedroom beachfront villa
on the west coast of Maui Hawaii by June
1st 2003 does that sound a little more
clear yeah and until you get specific
like that the creative part of your
brain won’t jump in and decide how to
help you get there and that’s why a lot
of people never get their dreams because
they don’t make them specific enough you
got to get real nitty-gritty break it
down how much buy when I want a better
relationship with my husband Oh what
does that mean
but if I say I want to spend an hour a
week sitting opposite my husband talking
about real things that matter no TV on I
to eye communication now that we can
measure did you do it for an hour want
to have more fun what does that mean but
what if I say I’m gonna listen to comedy
albums twice a week for a minimum of an
hour you’re probably gonna have more fun
so make it specific make it make it real
some people say you know I want our
business to increase well how much by
when want the reading scores to go up
into school how much buy win until you
have that you’re not going to make
progress and so many people’s dreams
never get completed because they’re not
clear about the specific number of how
much by whim I told you earlier in the
program we said we’re gonna sell a
million and a half books in a year and a
half and that directed our behavior
recently we just said we’re gonna sell a
million books in one day we had a
hundred and one bookstores involved in a
book signing they try to be in the
Guinness Book of World Record for the
largest book signing ever done now I
don’t think we sold a million but maybe
we sold a couple hundred thousand but by
holding that question and trying to
figure out how to do it it moved us
toward that goal and then maybe it’ll
take us two years to figure out how to
sell a million books in one day but it
gets the thinking to expand out into
that arena just making sense okay so you
want to have those goals now the other
thing you want to do is break your goals
down
any of you have big goals and hunger in
the world that’s pretty big going you
know have World Peace achieve a certain
level of spiritual oneness with God or
like big gold when you first look at it
it’s kind of overwhelming what if we
were to break that down into little
steps it says okay I want to go to
college and get a PhD gosh I’m only a
high school student
but the next step would be finish the
math class get an A in this write for a
brochure from a college get a catalog
pick one or five colleges that I want to
apply to you know just keep breaking it
down to little steps and then figure out
how to get all those steps done and put
a date by each step and then start doing
the plan someone said if you fail to
plan you’re planning to fail that make
sense yeah absolutely some one of my
friends said success by the yard is hard
by the inch it’s a cinch so we just
break it down into small pieces I had
enough I was reading the Guinness Book
of World Records because we were
thinking about being in there and this
guy set a goal to eat an entire bicycle
tires and all now how do you do that
right well it took him 17 days but what
he did is he kept cutting the bicycle up
and then melting it down into little
swallowable pieces and he ate them I
don’t know how much stayed in but he ate
right but the point being anything can
be done if you break it down small
enough make sense so don’t let the
bigness of a goal overwhelm you now
finally what’s the purpose of all this
the purpose of all this is not to get
the million dollars the Rolls Royce the
best-selling book all of that that’s
nice but have you ever known people that
had all that weren’t really happy never
ever known people that had all that and
then lost it you know Donald Trump was
really wealthy for a while and then he
lost it and now he’s coming back and all
that well that happens
it’s not the result that’s important
it’s who you become in the process of
achieving the result Jim Rohn said set a
goal so big that in the process of
achieving it you become someone worth
being didn’t have interesting concept
because it’s not the result if you set a
big goal three things are gonna show up
in your life one is called
considerations all the thoughts about
why it’s not possible all the fears that
you have about going out there and doing
that thing and finally there are real
roadblocks out there in the world there
are laws and things that maybe that it’s
not legal to do that yet or you know
it’s not zoned for that or all those
kind of things you’re gonna have to
learn how to overcome those roadblocks
and to learn how to quiet the
considerations in your head you learn
how to overcome those fears but have you
ever done something that was really
scary
and then the next time you did it wasn’t
quite so scary and then the third time
was and pretty soon it’s no big deal
like the first time I did TV it was
scary now it’s not such a big deal but
you have to go through it right and when
you’re done you get to have something in
your life called mastery
and that’s the goal the goal is mastery
mastering your fears master your
thoughts mastering your behaviors so
that you can do anything you want that
can’t be taking away friend of Mines
house burnt down he’s an author lost all
his manuscripts all his research his
computer melted everything nothing was
safe and you would have thought maybe he
too committed suicide at that point but
he didn’t what’d he do he said look
everything I learned about being an
author still in my head you can’t take
that away from me I know how to talk to
editors I know how to write an outline I
know how to write book proposals I know
how to go on talk shows I’m no longer
afraid of that so what you want to do is
create goals that are so big and so full
of your heart that when you achieve them
even if you lose the result the
best-selling book they always fall off
the bestseller list my publisher over
here will tell you that they just don’t
stay on there forever but the reality is
you become a master in life now step
three is you’ve got to visualize the
results that you want this is probably
the most important step of all the six
steps maybe the second most important
one the top two
what does that mean you’ve all heard
people say visualize the goals if it’s
already achieved think about this have
you ever known a kid like a high school
kid he’s into skateboarding or something
and you go into his room and the whole
wall is covered with pictures of
skateboarding
it’s like he’s surrounding himself with
this image of what he wants people said
can see it so bad I can taste it never
heard that phrase yeah well they
literally can see it and because they
can see it it creates something inside
of them that moves them toward the goal
let me demonstrate this with you could I
have everyone stand up right where you
are for a moment and you at home would
you stand up too good now we’re gonna do
a little exercise that is intended to
literally blow your mind to open it up
at such a level that you’ll never be the
same again in terms of this technique
we’re talking about so what I’d like you
to do is just watch me for a minute then
we’ll do it in a moment I’m going to ask
you to put your right arm out in front
of you and have your feet about 12
inches apart nice flawless stance and
then I’m going to ask you to turn as far
as you can and when you can’t torque
your body any more notice where your
hand is pointing mine’s right to the
right-hand side of that pillar there and
then look towards to the right left I
see the blue window I see the wall there
with the painting on it you get a
clearer picture and kind of lock that in
like the photograph okay pretend there’s
a little laser beam pointing off now if
you’re turning here in the studio and
there’s somebody there bend your elbow
keep turning don’t whack them in the
head but also don’t stop I want you’re
turning to only be stopped by your
inability to torque your body any
further okay
everyone ready to do this put your right
arm up and go ahead turn as far as you
can and when you can’t turn any further
notice where your hands pointed see
what’s to the right what’s to the left
get a real clear picture and then come
on back to the middle
and lower your arm okay good now if
you’re willing what I’d like you to do
is to close your eyes close your eyes
and just imagine that you’re lifting
your arm up
imagine you’re moving it across your
body the same direction you went last
time this time when you get to the spot
where you stopped you’re gonna go
another foot or two further without any
stress no strain no pain no effort
you’re just able to go further notice
where your hand will be pointing now use
the power of your imagination to create
a very vivid clear picture make it real
make it vivid make it clear make it
bright excellent and imagine moving your
arm back to the middle down to your side
and go ahead and open your eyes okay
everyone raise your right arm again and
we’re gonna turn again this time go as
far as you can see how far you can go
and then come on back to the middle and
by show of hands how many of you went
further
okay take a seat for a minute and we’ll
talk about why that happened
okay good
now let me explain what happens here you
had in your mind an experience of
reality called how far you went right
and then I asked you to put a picture in
we call it the vision of something you
wanted which was to go further that you
hadn’t really experienced and when you
hold those two in your mind
simultaneously it creates something in
the brain called structural tension it’s
a mental tension that mental tension
wants to resolve itself can only resolve
itself one of two ways either you give
up on the goal or the goal has to become
real now what happens in your brain when
you do this and you hold that structural
tension remember we talk disciplines of
success this is something you do every
day as a discipline and when you do it
you visualize the goals you want that’s
already achieved and that structural
tension makes three things happen number
one you start to perceive things out in
the world that we’re always there that
can be resources to help you achieve
your goals things that you just didn’t
even notice before but they were there
second you’re gonna start getting
creative ideas oh I could do that third
you’re going to feel motivated to take
action now this perception thing how
many of you have ever thought gee I’d
like to go to Hawaii and then you’re at
a party about three days later and
across the room a room full of a hundred
people you hear someone say Hawaii never
had that experience it’s like the Red
Sea parts and you go walk it you say
Hawaii you know you have a condo over
there do you ever let people stay in it
you know just take
how do we do that well the reticular
system in our brain opens up and we
perceive more now I’m going to
demonstrate this to you very graphically
here in the studio and home on TV
and I want you to pay attention over
here if we could to the monitor and
we’re gonna bring up a sentence on this
monitor and I’d like you to read this
sentence with me out loud on the count
of three we’ll all read it out loud one
two three
finished files are the result of years
of scientific study combined with the
experience of many years okay then we’ll
take that off the monitor and what I’d
like in a moment we’re gonna put that
back up and when we put it back up we’re
only going to leave it up for ten
seconds and what I want you to do is
count the number of times the letter F
if how many times is F appear in that
sentence okay and don’t say anything out
loud keep it to yourself and then we’ll
see what happens so if we can bring that
picture up again for ten seconds
and look
now by show of hands how many of you
counted three EPs in that sentence can
you raise your hands okay
about a third of the audience how many
counted four s one two three four but
eight people how many counted five s
about twelve people how many counted six
Epps about seven people how many people
aren’t going to raise your hand no
matter what I ask
got you back there okay good now first
question where we all looking at the
same sentence or not see there is an
objective reality out there let’s take a
look again and let’s see those of you
that saw three set three EPs if we look
up on the monitor are those the three
you saw yes okay and we can bring that
off and those of you that saw more let’s
bring it up again now if you look there
are six FS underlined in this sentence
you hear that oh that’s what we
psychologists call the oh my gosh
reaction you know okay now here’s the
deal just because you didn’t see the
extra F does that mean they’re not there
now they’re still there whether you see
them or not do you think some people see
more resources out in the world than you
do
more solutions to problems more
entrepreneurial opportunities than maybe
you do more people that look friendly
they can get a hug from more money
that’s available for low C everything’s
out there all the solutions to your
problems exist but we
see them and partially we don’t see them
because we’ve never learned this concept
of how to get our brain to open up and
let this reticular system in the back
let that information in jaipur drive
down the street and notice a house and
go where’d that come from
and your husband or wife goes honey
that’s been there for three months you
know and literally you just didn’t see
it was like a blind spot but what
happens when you learn this technique
all of a sudden you start seeing more
1983 the Australian sailing team had
never won an America’s Cup effort and
the coach had a new idea he said let’s
try this visualization stuff we made a
tape on his tape he did a narration of
the Australian team beating the American
team and it was something like you know
we’re going around the last buoy were
three boat lengths ahead of the
Americans and they had all the sound
effects in the background the wind in
the sails the water going by and the
little lines hitting the mast and all
that stuff that you associate with that
and this tape went on for about 20
minutes it was a little faster than the
actual race and they would imagine
beating America now he made the team
listen to this tape every day twice a
day for three years someone just said oh
my gosh
now when they finally went to race the
Americans it was like not them again how
many times do we have to beat these guys
was like of course we can beat the
Americans their whole attitude was
totally different and in fact they came
in and they won the America’s Cup so the
idea is that you can use this in any
aspect of your life whether it’s sports
whether it’s you know losing weight
whether it’s getting better grades in
school learning through whatever when we
come back from the break I’m going to
show you how to use this power of
visualization in education and then show
you how it was used for example in New
Orleans to take akule where the dropout
rate was 86% the kids never graduate
high school they turn that around in
five years to 16% using this technique
to stay with us along that
[Music]
okay let me demonstrate to you more than
anything I can think of the best way to
do it the next step step number four
because it’s really critical that you
get this all these steps kind of have to
happen together alright and this can
probably be the most important one the
one that if you were to do this alone
and pay attention to feedback would
probably get you where you want to go I
have here in my pocket I believe a fifty
dollar bill
if this $50 bill were available and it
is I’m going to show you the one secret
that separates winners from losers more
than anything else okay so if this was
available who would one
you all right now don’t go away yet come
back tell us your name Debbie
what did Debbie do that no one else in
the audience did she got up and she took
action see too many times we sit around
and we wait and we hope and we dream and
we affirm and we pray and we meditate we
do all that and all that’s important
it’s part of the process but at certain
point the opportunity shows up and if
you don’t act you get to sit and not
have 50 dollars
okay so let’s give her a hand for coming
up here and doing it so step number four
is what take action take action one of
my favorite quotes is by Henry Ward’s
worth Longfellow
he said the Heights by great men reached
and kept were not attained by sudden
flight but they were all their
companions left we’re toiling upward in
the night what does that mean you got to
work you got to do some doing this you
can’t just sit around and hope it’ll
happen one of the steps one of the
actions you need to take is called
asking and many of us we brought a
bookmark and I wrote a book called dare
to a dare to win and it was a book of
all these kind of things and people went
out and he read the book and still a lot
of people weren’t successful and we
thought what’s the problem here and as
we began to analyze and interview people
we realized one of the main things that
was blocking most people was the fear of
asking for what they wanted
they wouldn’t go up and just say can I
borrow money will you support my dream
will you volunteer for school will you
lend me your car whatever it is they
need they were so afraid of being
rejected and so we wrote a book called
the Aladdin factor how to ask for and
get everything you want and we were
doing all that research we ran across a
girl named Martita Anders a martini
Andrews was the living example of what
we call Afghans gas gas gas gas gas gas
gas gas gas gas gas gas
cuz you’re gonna have to ask a lot of
people am markita her mother when she
was a little girl came up to her and
said you know marquita I have a dream my
dream is to travel around the world but
also have a dream for you I want you to
graduate college problem is I’m a
waitress I don’t see how I can
underwrite both dreams on the waitress
salary I’ll make a deal with you if
you’ll go to college and agree that
after you graduate you’ll take 25% of
your income for the first number of
years and put that in savings to tell me
around the world then I’ll pay for your
college education but if you’re not
willing to do that then I don’t know if
I want to pay for your college education
well what is she she’s like 7 or 9 at
the time she goes sure deal you know
well later that year she joins the
brownie Scouts and the brownies are part
of the Girl Scouts and they came out
with their annual cookie drive and they
had a contest that you’re a girl who
sells most cookies wins trip for two
around world
marquita says I’m getting out of this
one easy so she starts selling cookies
like you can’t believe now in her first
year as a brownie Scouts she sold three
thousand five hundred and twenty six
boxes of Girl Scout cookies
phone just said no way most women who
sold Girl Scout cookies if you sell
three or four hundred boxes that is a
big deal
3526 how’d she do it gasps gasps gasps
gasps gasps gasps gasps gasps gasps she
lived in New York high population
concentration right she would go into
high-rise apartment buildings and condos
and as people would come down in the
morning and back from work she would
just be there do you buy your cookies
yet do you buy your cooked if you want
to buy some cookies and if she bought
one they said we want to buy two don’t
you know people she just asked gasps
gasps then one day she finds herself at
14 years old she wrote a book called how
to sell more cookies condos Cadillacs
computers and everything else and she
was the keynote speaker at Radio City
Music Hall to the million dollar
roundtable of insurance salesmen all
people who’d sold over a million dollars
in commissions and all this stuff and
she’s up there talking to a thousand
people at the end of her talk she says I
want you all to look under your seat
you’ll find a 3×5 card take that out and
write a number between five and ten on
the card
so everybody did she said that’s how
many boxes of Girl Scout cookies I want
you to buy for me today as you
that day she sold 7,000 boxes of Girl
Scout cookies she’s in the Guinness Book
of World Records before she retired she
sold over 32,000 boxes medicine out
hasn’t been beaten yet
but what does she do ask gas gas gas
very powerful
now she had one final cars
SW SW SW SW what does that mean
some will some won’t so what someone’s
waiting so if you ask enough people
eventually someone’s gonna say yes if I
asked everyone in this room do you have
a red car eventually someone would say
yes it doesn’t matter if you ask enough
people you’re gonna get your dream met
now we’re gonna come back in just a
moment and when we do I’m gonna teach
you a word that’s going to get you out
of the problem of what happens when you
ask for something and people say no and
this one word if you knew if you knew
this word and you learned it and you
used it can actually get you anything
you want in life so stay tuned come on
back we’ll show you how to make your
dreams come true
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
okay
okay thank you
now I said before the break I teach you
one word how to deal with know when you
get a note from somebody and again like
you to write this down write it in your
brain if you don’t have anything to
write it with on paper and so forth
here’s the here’s the word it’s very
simple when someone says no to you what
I want you to say to yourself real loud
inside your head is the word next let’s
just practice that so if I say no what
are you gonna say absolutely one more
time no and what does that mean ask
somebody else
absolutely how many people live on the
planet five billion people someone wants
to do what you want to do someone wants
to get involved in your dreams someone
wants to support you some you may have
to ask a lot of people remember s gasp
gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp so
when they say no you say next and here’s
another clue most people don’t realize
if you ask somebody and they say no does
that mean you can never come back and
ask them again no little kids are so
good at it
mommy can I go to the store with you no
oh come on mom please let me go to store
with you they go away mom you argue let
me go to the store with you and they
wear you down you know so that’s another
thing you can next time can be right
so don’t let no stop you know just means
get creative get get going now what
stops people from asking what stops
people from doing it’s something called
fear we’re all afraid we’re afraid we’re
going to look stupid we’re afraid we’re
gonna get rejected I love this person
who did the acronym FBAR stands for
fantasized experiences appearing real or
false evidence appearing real because
when you close your eyes and you
fantasize something like you’re not
going to be able to pay your bills or
didn’t take your house or you’re gonna
flunk out of school and your body reacts
like it’s real I was flying to Orlando
in a plane not too long ago and this
woman was sitting next to me and as we
took off she started like lifting
herself out of his feet
I said what are you doing she said I’m
making myself lighter so the plane will
take off now I knew we’d had a failure
in American physics education right and
I also noticed her knuckles were all
white and I said are you little frayed
she says yeah I guess I am I said well
we were headed in early no I guess
that’s where I’m going you’re going she
said yeah I said what are you going down
there so I go on to Disney World to
visit my children are gonna be there and
my grandchildren I said well close your
eyes for a second
indulge me I’m a psychologist she said
okay did she close her eyes they said
what are you imagining right now she
said well I see the plane blowing up in
a fireball at the end of the runway I
said well no wonder you’re scared you
know this would make anyone crazy and so
then I had her close her eyes and
imagine being at Disney World and I said
what’s your favorite attraction she said
it’s a small world
so I said imagine you’re in the little
thing and you’re going through it’s a
small world and all the world people are
dancing this thing it actually started
going into small
and all of a sudden she relaxed or
breathing deepened and this was what was
so powerful nothing outside of her had
changed we’re on the same plane going
down the same wrong way but what she
changed was her response she started
visualizing a positive outcome rather
than a negative outcome and her
physiology we happened same thing we’ve
been talking about
now let’s look at this fear the biggest
fear I think that stops most people from
asking is the fear of what rejection so
let’s say that I ask what’s your name
I go over to Sue’s and I say Susan would
you have dinner with me tonight and
let’s say she says no I go all everyone
goes all Jack’s been rejected it’s so
sad but let’s look at it objectively did
I have anyone to eat dinner with before
I asked her did I have anyone to eat
dinner with after I asked her did my
life really get worse stayed the same
right if I fly to Harvard and dunk it in
wasn’t in Harvard before I applied I’m
not in Harvard after I applied and most
of you have spent your whole life not
going to Harvard and survive just fine
right so it’s not a big deal I worked
for a optical company that makes lenses
half the lenses in your glasses they
have 50% of the market so half of you’re
wearing them and I was the first guy
that ever brought it as an outside
speaker for their sales meeting and I
got there early in the day and I went
out there some guys called fun and stuff
and I went up to people I said do you
know who the top two or three performers
in the company are and they don’t go oh
yeah it’s Bob and Mary and Joe and I
said well great why’d that matter went
into the groups about 300 people and I
said Jonah who the top three performers
in the company aren’t a voice oh yeah
it’s Bob Mary and Joe and since they all
know who’s like selling many many many
millions of dollars more than you oh
yeah
I said now by show of hands how many of
you have ever gone up to them and asked
them to show you what they do to sell so
much you know not one hand went up in
that room it’s random people
isn’t it interesting they knew who had
the information but they wouldn’t ask
them I said well why don’t you ask oh
they might not tell me I said we already
don’t know so if they don’t tell you yes
still don’t know how to get some ed you
know it’s not so bad but they were so
afraid that they might say oh you’re
stupid I don’t want to share with you
what I found and I think most of you
have probably found too if you test it
out most people are willing to share
what they know they’d like to teach
they’d like to share they’d like to be a
mentor not everyone will but if they say
no what are you gonna say yeah there’s
lots of top performers out there you can
go to
we’ve got to get over this fear of
rejection don’t let it stop you it’s not
a big deal just keep asking the
questions ask ask ask say next move on
nothing happens if you’re rejected fear
of rejection fear of failure fear of
looking stupid fear fear fear fear
stopping us let’s look at how to
overcome any fear there’s a couple
different techniques but let’s look at
what I think is probably the one of the
most powerful ones how many of you have
seen the book feel the fear and do it
anyway
remember that Susan Jeffers wrote this
book well think about that feel the fear
and do it anyway I’m gonna doodle
demonstration with you here to show you
how this works now take this chair here
I’m gonna pretend this is a diving board
now I’m gonna stand up on the end of the
diving board how many of you know how to
dive off the diving board can you
remember when you had to learn to do
that
you’re standing on the end of the board
so you know I am I’m on the end of the
board there’s my dad down in the water
he says come on jump and I’m dad he says
it’s only two feet to the water I said
yeah but it’s another nine to the bottom
of the pool and it’s five from the feet
to the head here you know it’s a long
way down he says come on just jump I’m
scared
can you relate to that how many of you
at that point said you know dad I think
I’m getting off the board go see a child
psychologist gonna deal with my fear of
jumping in the liquids from high places
and when I handle that I’ll come back
and jump in did any of you do that now
what did you do you felt the fear and
you jumped anyway
and this is really the principle that
works for anything in life you’re gonna
feel fear it’s going to show up so what
most people let fear stop them in say
well obviously then I shouldn’t do this
thing I’m gonna say to you feel the fear
and pretend it’s like a two-year-old
take the two-year-old with you you know
it doesn’t want to go certain places his
first day of school
so what take it you’re the adult teach
you fear like a little child but don’t
let it run you you’re bigger than that
you’re bigger than that the mastery
comes from money handling the fear now I
had a teacher very profound spiritual
teacher teach me once how to take this
and even make it deeper so here’s I’m
gonna teach you two I want you to take
your fingers and join your two four
fingers together like this everyone do
that okay and what I want you to do is
repeat after me everyone ready okay goes
like it’s a little chant it goes like
this
Oh everybody
Oh what the hell
go
for it anyway
I stood up together one more time
what
go
for it anyway very good let’s see if you
can remember that when you’re scared Oh
what the heck go for it anyway then
you’ll take that action we won’t always
be the perfect accent to get into action
something’s gonna happen which leads us
into step five which says respond to
feedback see when you take a first
action is that necessarily gonna be the
right one
no but you can’t get feedback unless you
take the action and some of us are so
afraid of doing the wrong thing we wait
until like 18 doves fly over our house
and a sign of a cross ah must be the
ideal auspicious day and then we take
action
well they don’t fly over that way too
often right so we just have to take an
action see what happens now there’s two
kinds of feedback what are they positive
and negative which one do you like best
right positive feels good right you know
you’re on track but have you ever had
negative feedback and it was valuable
right so there’s two kinds now how many
of you actively solicit feedback in your
life
you say hey I want feedback on how to be
a better parent or a better teacher or
how can I be a better salesperson how
can we serve your company better right
most people don’t ask for feedback why
don’t they ask they don’t want to hear
but let’s say you’re a teacher in school
and you don’t ask be better how I could
be a better teacher the kids go home do
you think they’re talking about how you
could be a better teacher
oh man that teacher she doesn’t let us
do this and she’s so mean in there to
get it well everyone in town knows bu
everyone’s talking about you’re the only
one not in on the secret
if you’re not getting along with your
wife she’s called her girlfriend her
mother her sister told the people in the
office everything that’s wrong with you
but guess who she hasn’t told perhaps
you so it’s very important to ask for
feedback now I’d like to demonstrate how
this works
I need another volunteer from the
audience who’d be willing to play with
me okay
what’s your name Mercedes okay here’s a
microphone what I want you to do is
stand right here by the plants and if
you would face me over here and what I’m
gonna do is I’m gonna walk toward you in
a moment
and you’re my goal as I’m walking toward
you a hundred percent straight on I want
you to say on course you’re like a
feedback system on course online course
if I go even off five degrees you say
off course okay and you’re gonna be
doing it like stream of consciousness on
course on course on course off course
off course on course off course
got the idea okay are you ready okay go
why aren’t you giving me any feedback
because I haven’t do anything exactly
here’s the deal if I don’t take action I
don’t get any feedback see that’s why
the action is so important now we’ll
start again you ready okay here we go
chorus chorus chorus of course I’m cars
of chords oh oh oh oh
now did I get here was I on quartz or
off course more than time according to
her
it’s not even what now yeah see I can
actually I can be off course more than
on course as long as I respond once I
get back on course so the key here is if
I take action and listen to the feedback
eventually I would get to my goal now
let me show you how a lot of people deal
with feedback doesn’t work stay here and
again real fast so of course on course
off course if I’m moving toward you and
of course I’m not are you ready
okay go here’s how one person I know
deals with feedback on Concourse know
anyone that gets negative feedback and
then again some that just cave in yes
you’ve seen that here’s another way
people deal with negative feedback see
if you’ve ever seen this one are you
ready okay here we go
bitch bitch bitch
you know I so negative can’t you say
anything nice now have you ever seen
anyone get angry at the source of
feedback that was really useful for them
exactly now here’s how here’s how one
person I know
he actually bankrupted three companies
three divorces this is how he deals with
feedback ready Mercedes okay here we go
of course right his favorite phrase was
my way or the highway
as long as you live in my house you’ll
live by my rules he was not open to
feedback because he would rather be
right than successful if you know anyone
like that
yeah let’s give Mercedes a hand for
volunteering so the key here is to what
ask for feedback and when you get it
listen to it then correct and keep
moving toward your target step number
six the last step perseverance keep on
keepin on never give up never give up if
you’ve got a goal that’s important in
your heart don’t give up as I said
earlier we would have self-published our
book if no one else would have published
it you got to have that kind of
commitment to your goals you may not
know this but the average millionaire in
America goes bankrupt three and a half
times before they come a millionaire I
don’t know you go bankrupt a half of
time but you can do that statistically
Walt Disney went bankrupt five times
Henry Ford went bankrupt three times
remember we did Chicken Soup for the
Soul 133 publishers said you know
when they did the guy that wrote the
book mash that became the TV show took
him seven years as a high school teacher
we wrote at night member persevere a
little bit every time break it down
every night he wrote what happened
turn down by 18 publishers until Mauro
bought the book
Jonathan Livingston Seagull turned down
by 19 function Louis L’Amour the great
author is two hundred books and French
got three hundred rejections before he
ever sold a piece of writing Alex Haley
who wrote roots got a rejections that
every week for four years 200 rejections
before he sold his first piece of
writing see it takes perseverance Fred
Astaire goes in for his first screen
test what do they say can’t act bald
dance is a little he had that framed in
his living room after he went on to
become what one of the greatest dancing
actors singers we’ve ever seen in their
history you don’t let other people
determine you persevere you hang in
there so if you’ll make your dreams a
priority and if you’ll surround yourself
with positive people if you take 100%
responsibility for your life and decide
exactly what you want and set specific
goals and objectives and visualize your
goals is already completed take massive
and repeated action to respond to
feedback make corrections on course off
course never give up and I promise
you’ll start to live an amazing life
full of dreams come true
and in this program I’m going to teach
you how to make your dreams come true so
let’s jump into these six steps of
success that we’re talking about here
step number one you have to decide what
you want
now that sounds so obvious but so many
people go through life not being really
clear about what their goals are what
their vision is what their dream is I
have a cartoon at home that I have above
my desk and it’s the cartoon of two
spiders sitting at the end of a sliding
board and the kind of kids slide down
there’s a big spider web across the
place where the kids would come off and
one spiders looking at the other and he
says you know if we pull this off we’ll
eat like kings and even though it’s a
little gross it makes a point but I want
you to have a big vision a big vision I
want you to go for everything that is
you want in life and to get in touch
with that from your heart so we were
told a lot of us you can’t have that you
can’t do this
forget all that if none of that mattered
and anything was possible what would you
want so one of the phrases I have is
asked what not how because many of you
don’t know how you’re gonna get it and
if you don’t see how you can achieve it
then you don’t you’re afraid to commit
to it well I can’t see how to have a
perfect relationship with my husband so
I don’t want to commit to that because I
don’t want to be a failure I can’t see
how I could ever get medical school
given the income we have so I don’t want
to commit to that what I’m gonna teach
you here is if you’ll make the
commitment and do these other steps that
we’re gonna talk about the how we’ll
show up along the way see my ideal
vision there’s no drive-by shootings in
Los Angeles my diet ideal community
world there’s no hunger there’s no
illiteracy there’s no gangs people say
oh that’s impossible
well it’s only possible if we start to
visualize it and decide this is what we
want and once we commit to it as I said
to how we show up and finally are there
any accomplishments you want to have
before you die maybe you want to get
that PhD I want to write a book or
publish a letter to the editor in the
newspaper or make that trip around the
world whatever it is for you
now don’t let your mind tell you it’s
not possible I want the inner child in
you know you know the one that says come
on mommy I want to buy that you know we
can’t afford that okay I want the little
kid in there to thinks anything is
possible to decide what you want and a
spiritual part of this comes in I
believe that in your heart you really
know what’s for your highest good and if
you let yourself go there then you’re
going to be lined up the old not by will
or not my will but thy will and so I
want that energy to come through as your
life purpose and we can’t go into that
and like great depth and a small seminar
here that we have in terms of time but
again this is not about your ego needs
it’s about what you really need to do to
feel fulfilled to feel filled full of
yourself and if you’ll go there and
trust yourself
then you get a level of satisfaction you
can’t believe the last part of this is
you got to tell other people what your
vision is now a lot of teachers out
there say oh don’t tell people what your
vision is because they’ll rain all over
your parade and you know then you’ll
lose your enthusiasm remember surround
yourself with positive people and if
someone does rain on your parade just
say thank you for your contribution all
right because they’re doing the best
they can to be of value to you maybe
they think you can’t do it just say
thank you move on go to someone else
but as you start to share your vision
and your dreams with others some people
are gonna go I have that same dream you
know I hope you Martin Luther King stood
up and said I have a dream a lot of
other people went hey I share that dream
let me why not ball March with you and
eventually something started to happen
in terms of fighting racism in our
culture but had to be someone that stood
up so other people could attract to it
and you’ll be surprised who will become
a traffic tear dream the second step to
success it’s so critical is you’ve got
to set specific goals and objectives for
your vision your dream it’s a nice thing
to say I want a winter home in Hawaii
but that won’t do it it’s got to be
measurable it’s got to be in time and
space how much do you want in my win now
let me give you a good example of this
why it’s so important to make a list of
goals I tell people in my seminars you
want a goal or an objective a measurable
thing for every part of your vision and
I think you want to have a hundred and
one goals you really go for it
now John Goddard who we wrote about in
our first Chicken Soup for the Soul book
when he was 15 he said a list of 127
goals that he wanted to achieve now he’s
sitting in his dining room with his dad
and all these people are coming over to
dinner these are the big successful
people in town and he’s listening to him
talk to his dad as a successful
businessman saying things like you know
I wish before I’d started my business
I’d traveled around the world because
now it’s too late well I wish I had
spent more time with my children well I
wish I had read the encyclopedia or I
wish I had learned music I wish I’d
learned to play an instrument at least
that I don’t want to live my life and
get to believe in 50 60 and go I wish I
had or to live on one of my friends call
someday I’ll write someday I’ll do this
someday I’ll do that and you never get
there and so he made a list of 127 calls
now these were not minor goals these
were things like visit the Great Pyramid
in Egypt visit the Great Wall of China
visit the Vatican meet the Pope learn
three languages read the Encyclopedia
shoot out a candle with a 22 rifle for
100
the fly an airplane learn to you know
control a boat learn to type 150 words
have been all these different things and
he’s achieved a hundred and fifteen of
those 127 goals the last one he just
accomplished was learning to play polo
now the guys in his 70s and polo I
understand is a pretty strenuous sport
in his polo class was Sylvester Stallone
the actor what didn’t he
what a neat life and this guy’s the real
Indiana Jones right he’s doing all this
stuff out there his next goal in his
training for us to just start at the the
mouth of the Yangtze River or the
beginning of it then sail all the way
down all the way through China and he’s
getting ready to go do that so he wakes
up every morning he knows exactly what
he’s working toward he’s got a blueprint
for his life what about you do you have
a blueprint for your life and if not why
not let’s look at this idea of
specificity for a minute like a winter
home in Hawaii very nice but if I say I
will own a two-bedroom beachfront villa
on the west coast of Maui Hawaii by June
1st 2003 does that sound a little more
clear yeah and until you get specific
like that the creative part of your
brain won’t jump in and decide how to
help you get there and that’s why a lot
of people never get their dreams because
they don’t make them specific enough you
got to get real nitty-gritty break it
down how much buy when I want a better
relationship with my husband Oh what
does that mean
but if I say I want to spend an hour a
week sitting opposite my husband talking
about real things that matter no TV on I
to eye communication now that we can
measure did you do it for an hour want
to have more fun what does that mean but
what if I say I’m gonna listen to comedy
albums twice a week for a minimum of an
hour you’re probably gonna have more fun
so make it specific make it make it real
some people say you know I want our
business to increase well how much by
when want the reading scores to go up
into school how much buy win until you
have that you’re not going to make
progress and so many people’s dreams
never get completed because they’re not
clear about the specific number of how
much by whim I told you earlier in the
program we said we’re gonna sell a
million and a half books in a year and a
half and that directed our behavior
recently we just said we’re gonna sell a
million books in one day we had a
hundred and one bookstores involved in a
book signing they try to be in the
Guinness Book of World Record for the
largest book signing ever done now I
don’t think we sold a million but maybe
we sold a couple hundred thousand but by
holding that question and trying to
figure out how to do it it moved us
toward that goal and then maybe it’ll
take us two years to figure out how to
sell a million books in one day but it
gets the thinking to expand out into
that arena just making sense okay so you
want to have those goals now the other
thing you want to do is break your goals
down
any of you have big goals and hunger in
the world that’s pretty big going you
know have World Peace achieve a certain
level of spiritual oneness with God or
like big gold when you first look at it
it’s kind of overwhelming what if we
were to break that down into little
steps it says okay I want to go to
college and get a PhD gosh I’m only a
high school student
but the next step would be finish the
math class get an A in this write for a
brochure from a college get a catalog
pick one or five colleges that I want to
apply to you know just keep breaking it
down to little steps and then figure out
how to get all those steps done and put
a date by each step and then start doing
the plan someone said if you fail to
plan you’re planning to fail that make
sense yeah absolutely some one of my
friends said success by the yard is hard
by the inch it’s a cinch so we just
break it down into small pieces I had
enough I was reading the Guinness Book
of World Records because we were
thinking about being in there and this
guy set a goal to eat an entire bicycle
tires and all now how do you do that
right well it took him 17 days but what
he did is he kept cutting the bicycle up
and then melting it down into little
swallowable pieces and he ate them I
don’t know how much stayed in but he ate
right but the point being anything can
be done if you break it down small
enough make sense so don’t let the
bigness of a goal overwhelm you now
finally what’s the purpose of all this
the purpose of all this is not to get
the million dollars the Rolls Royce the
best-selling book all of that that’s
nice but have you ever known people that
had all that weren’t really happy never
ever known people that had all that and
then lost it you know Donald Trump was
really wealthy for a while and then he
lost it and now he’s coming back and all
that well that happens
it’s not the result that’s important
it’s who you become in the process of
achieving the result Jim Rohn said set a
goal so big that in the process of
achieving it you become someone worth
being didn’t have interesting concept
because it’s not the result if you set a
big goal three things are gonna show up
in your life one is called
considerations all the thoughts about
why it’s not possible all the fears that
you have about going out there and doing
that thing and finally there are real
roadblocks out there in the world there
are laws and things that maybe that it’s
not legal to do that yet or you know
it’s not zoned for that or all those
kind of things you’re gonna have to
learn how to overcome those roadblocks
and to learn how to quiet the
considerations in your head you learn
how to overcome those fears but have you
ever done something that was really
scary
and then the next time you did it wasn’t
quite so scary and then the third time
was and pretty soon it’s no big deal
like the first time I did TV it was
scary now it’s not such a big deal but
you have to go through it right and when
you’re done you get to have something in
your life called mastery
and that’s the goal the goal is mastery
mastering your fears master your
thoughts mastering your behaviors so
that you can do anything you want that
can’t be taking away friend of Mines
house burnt down he’s an author lost all
his manuscripts all his research his
computer melted everything nothing was
safe and you would have thought maybe he
too committed suicide at that point but
he didn’t what’d he do he said look
everything I learned about being an
author still in my head you can’t take
that away from me I know how to talk to
editors I know how to write an outline I
know how to write book proposals I know
how to go on talk shows I’m no longer
afraid of that so what you want to do is
create goals that are so big and so full
of your heart that when you achieve them
even if you lose the result the
best-selling book they always fall off
the bestseller list my publisher over
here will tell you that they just don’t
stay on there forever but the reality is
you become a master in life now step
three is you’ve got to visualize the
results that you want this is probably
the most important step of all the six
steps maybe the second most important
one the top two
what does that mean you’ve all heard
people say visualize the goals if it’s
already achieved think about this have
you ever known a kid like a high school
kid he’s into skateboarding or something
and you go into his room and the whole
wall is covered with pictures of
skateboarding
it’s like he’s surrounding himself with
this image of what he wants people said
can see it so bad I can taste it never
heard that phrase yeah well they
literally can see it and because they
can see it it creates something inside
of them that moves them toward the goal
let me demonstrate this with you could I
have everyone stand up right where you
are for a moment and you at home would
you stand up too good now we’re gonna do
a little exercise that is intended to
literally blow your mind to open it up
at such a level that you’ll never be the
same again in terms of this technique
we’re talking about so what I’d like you
to do is just watch me for a minute then
we’ll do it in a moment I’m going to ask
you to put your right arm out in front
of you and have your feet about 12
inches apart nice flawless stance and
then I’m going to ask you to turn as far
as you can and when you can’t torque
your body any more notice where your
hand is pointing mine’s right to the
right-hand side of that pillar there and
then look towards to the right left I
see the blue window I see the wall there
with the painting on it you get a
clearer picture and kind of lock that in
like the photograph okay pretend there’s
a little laser beam pointing off now if
you’re turning here in the studio and
there’s somebody there bend your elbow
keep turning don’t whack them in the
head but also don’t stop I want you’re
turning to only be stopped by your
inability to torque your body any
further okay
everyone ready to do this put your right
arm up and go ahead turn as far as you
can and when you can’t turn any further
notice where your hands pointed see
what’s to the right what’s to the left
get a real clear picture and then come
on back to the middle
and lower your arm okay good now if
you’re willing what I’d like you to do
is to close your eyes close your eyes
and just imagine that you’re lifting
your arm up
imagine you’re moving it across your
body the same direction you went last
time this time when you get to the spot
where you stopped you’re gonna go
another foot or two further without any
stress no strain no pain no effort
you’re just able to go further notice
where your hand will be pointing now use
the power of your imagination to create
a very vivid clear picture make it real
make it vivid make it clear make it
bright excellent and imagine moving your
arm back to the middle down to your side
and go ahead and open your eyes okay
everyone raise your right arm again and
we’re gonna turn again this time go as
far as you can see how far you can go
and then come on back to the middle and
by show of hands how many of you went
further
okay take a seat for a minute and we’ll
talk about why that happened
okay good
now let me explain what happens here you
had in your mind an experience of
reality called how far you went right
and then I asked you to put a picture in
we call it the vision of something you
wanted which was to go further that you
hadn’t really experienced and when you
hold those two in your mind
simultaneously it creates something in
the brain called structural tension it’s
a mental tension that mental tension
wants to resolve itself can only resolve
itself one of two ways either you give
up on the goal or the goal has to become
real now what happens in your brain when
you do this and you hold that structural
tension remember we talk disciplines of
success this is something you do every
day as a discipline and when you do it
you visualize the goals you want that’s
already achieved and that structural
tension makes three things happen number
one you start to perceive things out in
the world that we’re always there that
can be resources to help you achieve
your goals things that you just didn’t
even notice before but they were there
second you’re gonna start getting
creative ideas oh I could do that third
you’re going to feel motivated to take
action now this perception thing how
many of you have ever thought gee I’d
like to go to Hawaii and then you’re at
a party about three days later and
across the room a room full of a hundred
people you hear someone say Hawaii never
had that experience it’s like the Red
Sea parts and you go walk it you say
Hawaii you know you have a condo over
there do you ever let people stay in it
you know just take
how do we do that well the reticular
system in our brain opens up and we
perceive more now I’m going to
demonstrate this to you very graphically
here in the studio and home on TV
and I want you to pay attention over
here if we could to the monitor and
we’re gonna bring up a sentence on this
monitor and I’d like you to read this
sentence with me out loud on the count
of three we’ll all read it out loud one
two three
finished files are the result of years
of scientific study combined with the
experience of many years okay then we’ll
take that off the monitor and what I’d
like in a moment we’re gonna put that
back up and when we put it back up we’re
only going to leave it up for ten
seconds and what I want you to do is
count the number of times the letter F
if how many times is F appear in that
sentence okay and don’t say anything out
loud keep it to yourself and then we’ll
see what happens so if we can bring that
picture up again for ten seconds
and look
now by show of hands how many of you
counted three EPs in that sentence can
you raise your hands okay
about a third of the audience how many
counted four s one two three four but
eight people how many counted five s
about twelve people how many counted six
Epps about seven people how many people
aren’t going to raise your hand no
matter what I ask
got you back there okay good now first
question where we all looking at the
same sentence or not see there is an
objective reality out there let’s take a
look again and let’s see those of you
that saw three set three EPs if we look
up on the monitor are those the three
you saw yes okay and we can bring that
off and those of you that saw more let’s
bring it up again now if you look there
are six FS underlined in this sentence
you hear that oh that’s what we
psychologists call the oh my gosh
reaction you know okay now here’s the
deal just because you didn’t see the
extra F does that mean they’re not there
now they’re still there whether you see
them or not do you think some people see
more resources out in the world than you
do
more solutions to problems more
entrepreneurial opportunities than maybe
you do more people that look friendly
they can get a hug from more money
that’s available for low C everything’s
out there all the solutions to your
problems exist but we
see them and partially we don’t see them
because we’ve never learned this concept
of how to get our brain to open up and
let this reticular system in the back
let that information in jaipur drive
down the street and notice a house and
go where’d that come from
and your husband or wife goes honey
that’s been there for three months you
know and literally you just didn’t see
it was like a blind spot but what
happens when you learn this technique
all of a sudden you start seeing more
1983 the Australian sailing team had
never won an America’s Cup effort and
the coach had a new idea he said let’s
try this visualization stuff we made a
tape on his tape he did a narration of
the Australian team beating the American
team and it was something like you know
we’re going around the last buoy were
three boat lengths ahead of the
Americans and they had all the sound
effects in the background the wind in
the sails the water going by and the
little lines hitting the mast and all
that stuff that you associate with that
and this tape went on for about 20
minutes it was a little faster than the
actual race and they would imagine
beating America now he made the team
listen to this tape every day twice a
day for three years someone just said oh
my gosh
now when they finally went to race the
Americans it was like not them again how
many times do we have to beat these guys
was like of course we can beat the
Americans their whole attitude was
totally different and in fact they came
in and they won the America’s Cup so the
idea is that you can use this in any
aspect of your life whether it’s sports
whether it’s you know losing weight
whether it’s getting better grades in
school learning through whatever when we
come back from the break I’m going to
show you how to use this power of
visualization in education and then show
you how it was used for example in New
Orleans to take akule where the dropout
rate was 86% the kids never graduate
high school they turn that around in
five years to 16% using this technique
to stay with us along that
[Music]
okay let me demonstrate to you more than
anything I can think of the best way to
do it the next step step number four
because it’s really critical that you
get this all these steps kind of have to
happen together alright and this can
probably be the most important one the
one that if you were to do this alone
and pay attention to feedback would
probably get you where you want to go I
have here in my pocket I believe a fifty
dollar bill
if this $50 bill were available and it
is I’m going to show you the one secret
that separates winners from losers more
than anything else okay so if this was
available who would one
you all right now don’t go away yet come
back tell us your name Debbie
what did Debbie do that no one else in
the audience did she got up and she took
action see too many times we sit around
and we wait and we hope and we dream and
we affirm and we pray and we meditate we
do all that and all that’s important
it’s part of the process but at certain
point the opportunity shows up and if
you don’t act you get to sit and not
have 50 dollars
okay so let’s give her a hand for coming
up here and doing it so step number four
is what take action take action one of
my favorite quotes is by Henry Ward’s
worth Longfellow
he said the Heights by great men reached
and kept were not attained by sudden
flight but they were all their
companions left we’re toiling upward in
the night what does that mean you got to
work you got to do some doing this you
can’t just sit around and hope it’ll
happen one of the steps one of the
actions you need to take is called
asking and many of us we brought a
bookmark and I wrote a book called dare
to a dare to win and it was a book of
all these kind of things and people went
out and he read the book and still a lot
of people weren’t successful and we
thought what’s the problem here and as
we began to analyze and interview people
we realized one of the main things that
was blocking most people was the fear of
asking for what they wanted
they wouldn’t go up and just say can I
borrow money will you support my dream
will you volunteer for school will you
lend me your car whatever it is they
need they were so afraid of being
rejected and so we wrote a book called
the Aladdin factor how to ask for and
get everything you want and we were
doing all that research we ran across a
girl named Martita Anders a martini
Andrews was the living example of what
we call Afghans gas gas gas gas gas gas
gas gas gas gas gas gas
cuz you’re gonna have to ask a lot of
people am markita her mother when she
was a little girl came up to her and
said you know marquita I have a dream my
dream is to travel around the world but
also have a dream for you I want you to
graduate college problem is I’m a
waitress I don’t see how I can
underwrite both dreams on the waitress
salary I’ll make a deal with you if
you’ll go to college and agree that
after you graduate you’ll take 25% of
your income for the first number of
years and put that in savings to tell me
around the world then I’ll pay for your
college education but if you’re not
willing to do that then I don’t know if
I want to pay for your college education
well what is she she’s like 7 or 9 at
the time she goes sure deal you know
well later that year she joins the
brownie Scouts and the brownies are part
of the Girl Scouts and they came out
with their annual cookie drive and they
had a contest that you’re a girl who
sells most cookies wins trip for two
around world
marquita says I’m getting out of this
one easy so she starts selling cookies
like you can’t believe now in her first
year as a brownie Scouts she sold three
thousand five hundred and twenty six
boxes of Girl Scout cookies
phone just said no way most women who
sold Girl Scout cookies if you sell
three or four hundred boxes that is a
big deal
3526 how’d she do it gasps gasps gasps
gasps gasps gasps gasps gasps gasps she
lived in New York high population
concentration right she would go into
high-rise apartment buildings and condos
and as people would come down in the
morning and back from work she would
just be there do you buy your cookies
yet do you buy your cooked if you want
to buy some cookies and if she bought
one they said we want to buy two don’t
you know people she just asked gasps
gasps then one day she finds herself at
14 years old she wrote a book called how
to sell more cookies condos Cadillacs
computers and everything else and she
was the keynote speaker at Radio City
Music Hall to the million dollar
roundtable of insurance salesmen all
people who’d sold over a million dollars
in commissions and all this stuff and
she’s up there talking to a thousand
people at the end of her talk she says I
want you all to look under your seat
you’ll find a 3×5 card take that out and
write a number between five and ten on
the card
so everybody did she said that’s how
many boxes of Girl Scout cookies I want
you to buy for me today as you
that day she sold 7,000 boxes of Girl
Scout cookies she’s in the Guinness Book
of World Records before she retired she
sold over 32,000 boxes medicine out
hasn’t been beaten yet
but what does she do ask gas gas gas
very powerful
now she had one final cars
SW SW SW SW what does that mean
some will some won’t so what someone’s
waiting so if you ask enough people
eventually someone’s gonna say yes if I
asked everyone in this room do you have
a red car eventually someone would say
yes it doesn’t matter if you ask enough
people you’re gonna get your dream met
now we’re gonna come back in just a
moment and when we do I’m gonna teach
you a word that’s going to get you out
of the problem of what happens when you
ask for something and people say no and
this one word if you knew if you knew
this word and you learned it and you
used it can actually get you anything
you want in life so stay tuned come on
back we’ll show you how to make your
dreams come true
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
okay
okay thank you
now I said before the break I teach you
one word how to deal with know when you
get a note from somebody and again like
you to write this down write it in your
brain if you don’t have anything to
write it with on paper and so forth
here’s the here’s the word it’s very
simple when someone says no to you what
I want you to say to yourself real loud
inside your head is the word next let’s
just practice that so if I say no what
are you gonna say absolutely one more
time no and what does that mean ask
somebody else
absolutely how many people live on the
planet five billion people someone wants
to do what you want to do someone wants
to get involved in your dreams someone
wants to support you some you may have
to ask a lot of people remember s gasp
gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp so
when they say no you say next and here’s
another clue most people don’t realize
if you ask somebody and they say no does
that mean you can never come back and
ask them again no little kids are so
good at it
mommy can I go to the store with you no
oh come on mom please let me go to store
with you they go away mom you argue let
me go to the store with you and they
wear you down you know so that’s another
thing you can next time can be right
so don’t let no stop you know just means
get creative get get going now what
stops people from asking what stops
people from doing it’s something called
fear we’re all afraid we’re afraid we’re
going to look stupid we’re afraid we’re
gonna get rejected I love this person
who did the acronym FBAR stands for
fantasized experiences appearing real or
false evidence appearing real because
when you close your eyes and you
fantasize something like you’re not
going to be able to pay your bills or
didn’t take your house or you’re gonna
flunk out of school and your body reacts
like it’s real I was flying to Orlando
in a plane not too long ago and this
woman was sitting next to me and as we
took off she started like lifting
herself out of his feet
I said what are you doing she said I’m
making myself lighter so the plane will
take off now I knew we’d had a failure
in American physics education right and
I also noticed her knuckles were all
white and I said are you little frayed
she says yeah I guess I am I said well
we were headed in early no I guess
that’s where I’m going you’re going she
said yeah I said what are you going down
there so I go on to Disney World to
visit my children are gonna be there and
my grandchildren I said well close your
eyes for a second
indulge me I’m a psychologist she said
okay did she close her eyes they said
what are you imagining right now she
said well I see the plane blowing up in
a fireball at the end of the runway I
said well no wonder you’re scared you
know this would make anyone crazy and so
then I had her close her eyes and
imagine being at Disney World and I said
what’s your favorite attraction she said
it’s a small world
so I said imagine you’re in the little
thing and you’re going through it’s a
small world and all the world people are
dancing this thing it actually started
going into small
and all of a sudden she relaxed or
breathing deepened and this was what was
so powerful nothing outside of her had
changed we’re on the same plane going
down the same wrong way but what she
changed was her response she started
visualizing a positive outcome rather
than a negative outcome and her
physiology we happened same thing we’ve
been talking about
now let’s look at this fear the biggest
fear I think that stops most people from
asking is the fear of what rejection so
let’s say that I ask what’s your name
I go over to Sue’s and I say Susan would
you have dinner with me tonight and
let’s say she says no I go all everyone
goes all Jack’s been rejected it’s so
sad but let’s look at it objectively did
I have anyone to eat dinner with before
I asked her did I have anyone to eat
dinner with after I asked her did my
life really get worse stayed the same
right if I fly to Harvard and dunk it in
wasn’t in Harvard before I applied I’m
not in Harvard after I applied and most
of you have spent your whole life not
going to Harvard and survive just fine
right so it’s not a big deal I worked
for a optical company that makes lenses
half the lenses in your glasses they
have 50% of the market so half of you’re
wearing them and I was the first guy
that ever brought it as an outside
speaker for their sales meeting and I
got there early in the day and I went
out there some guys called fun and stuff
and I went up to people I said do you
know who the top two or three performers
in the company are and they don’t go oh
yeah it’s Bob and Mary and Joe and I
said well great why’d that matter went
into the groups about 300 people and I
said Jonah who the top three performers
in the company aren’t a voice oh yeah
it’s Bob Mary and Joe and since they all
know who’s like selling many many many
millions of dollars more than you oh
yeah
I said now by show of hands how many of
you have ever gone up to them and asked
them to show you what they do to sell so
much you know not one hand went up in
that room it’s random people
isn’t it interesting they knew who had
the information but they wouldn’t ask
them I said well why don’t you ask oh
they might not tell me I said we already
don’t know so if they don’t tell you yes
still don’t know how to get some ed you
know it’s not so bad but they were so
afraid that they might say oh you’re
stupid I don’t want to share with you
what I found and I think most of you
have probably found too if you test it
out most people are willing to share
what they know they’d like to teach
they’d like to share they’d like to be a
mentor not everyone will but if they say
no what are you gonna say yeah there’s
lots of top performers out there you can
go to
we’ve got to get over this fear of
rejection don’t let it stop you it’s not
a big deal just keep asking the
questions ask ask ask say next move on
nothing happens if you’re rejected fear
of rejection fear of failure fear of
looking stupid fear fear fear fear
stopping us let’s look at how to
overcome any fear there’s a couple
different techniques but let’s look at
what I think is probably the one of the
most powerful ones how many of you have
seen the book feel the fear and do it
anyway
remember that Susan Jeffers wrote this
book well think about that feel the fear
and do it anyway I’m gonna doodle
demonstration with you here to show you
how this works now take this chair here
I’m gonna pretend this is a diving board
now I’m gonna stand up on the end of the
diving board how many of you know how to
dive off the diving board can you
remember when you had to learn to do
that
you’re standing on the end of the board
so you know I am I’m on the end of the
board there’s my dad down in the water
he says come on jump and I’m dad he says
it’s only two feet to the water I said
yeah but it’s another nine to the bottom
of the pool and it’s five from the feet
to the head here you know it’s a long
way down he says come on just jump I’m
scared
can you relate to that how many of you
at that point said you know dad I think
I’m getting off the board go see a child
psychologist gonna deal with my fear of
jumping in the liquids from high places
and when I handle that I’ll come back
and jump in did any of you do that now
what did you do you felt the fear and
you jumped anyway
and this is really the principle that
works for anything in life you’re gonna
feel fear it’s going to show up so what
most people let fear stop them in say
well obviously then I shouldn’t do this
thing I’m gonna say to you feel the fear
and pretend it’s like a two-year-old
take the two-year-old with you you know
it doesn’t want to go certain places his
first day of school
so what take it you’re the adult teach
you fear like a little child but don’t
let it run you you’re bigger than that
you’re bigger than that the mastery
comes from money handling the fear now I
had a teacher very profound spiritual
teacher teach me once how to take this
and even make it deeper so here’s I’m
gonna teach you two I want you to take
your fingers and join your two four
fingers together like this everyone do
that okay and what I want you to do is
repeat after me everyone ready okay goes
like it’s a little chant it goes like
this
Oh everybody
Oh what the hell
go
for it anyway
I stood up together one more time
what
go
for it anyway very good let’s see if you
can remember that when you’re scared Oh
what the heck go for it anyway then
you’ll take that action we won’t always
be the perfect accent to get into action
something’s gonna happen which leads us
into step five which says respond to
feedback see when you take a first
action is that necessarily gonna be the
right one
no but you can’t get feedback unless you
take the action and some of us are so
afraid of doing the wrong thing we wait
until like 18 doves fly over our house
and a sign of a cross ah must be the
ideal auspicious day and then we take
action
well they don’t fly over that way too
often right so we just have to take an
action see what happens now there’s two
kinds of feedback what are they positive
and negative which one do you like best
right positive feels good right you know
you’re on track but have you ever had
negative feedback and it was valuable
right so there’s two kinds now how many
of you actively solicit feedback in your
life
you say hey I want feedback on how to be
a better parent or a better teacher or
how can I be a better salesperson how
can we serve your company better right
most people don’t ask for feedback why
don’t they ask they don’t want to hear
but let’s say you’re a teacher in school
and you don’t ask be better how I could
be a better teacher the kids go home do
you think they’re talking about how you
could be a better teacher
oh man that teacher she doesn’t let us
do this and she’s so mean in there to
get it well everyone in town knows bu
everyone’s talking about you’re the only
one not in on the secret
if you’re not getting along with your
wife she’s called her girlfriend her
mother her sister told the people in the
office everything that’s wrong with you
but guess who she hasn’t told perhaps
you so it’s very important to ask for
feedback now I’d like to demonstrate how
this works
I need another volunteer from the
audience who’d be willing to play with
me okay
what’s your name Mercedes okay here’s a
microphone what I want you to do is
stand right here by the plants and if
you would face me over here and what I’m
gonna do is I’m gonna walk toward you in
a moment
and you’re my goal as I’m walking toward
you a hundred percent straight on I want
you to say on course you’re like a
feedback system on course online course
if I go even off five degrees you say
off course okay and you’re gonna be
doing it like stream of consciousness on
course on course on course off course
off course on course off course
got the idea okay are you ready okay go
why aren’t you giving me any feedback
because I haven’t do anything exactly
here’s the deal if I don’t take action I
don’t get any feedback see that’s why
the action is so important now we’ll
start again you ready okay here we go
chorus chorus chorus of course I’m cars
of chords oh oh oh oh
now did I get here was I on quartz or
off course more than time according to
her
it’s not even what now yeah see I can
actually I can be off course more than
on course as long as I respond once I
get back on course so the key here is if
I take action and listen to the feedback
eventually I would get to my goal now
let me show you how a lot of people deal
with feedback doesn’t work stay here and
again real fast so of course on course
off course if I’m moving toward you and
of course I’m not are you ready
okay go here’s how one person I know
deals with feedback on Concourse know
anyone that gets negative feedback and
then again some that just cave in yes
you’ve seen that here’s another way
people deal with negative feedback see
if you’ve ever seen this one are you
ready okay here we go
bitch bitch bitch
you know I so negative can’t you say
anything nice now have you ever seen
anyone get angry at the source of
feedback that was really useful for them
exactly now here’s how here’s how one
person I know
he actually bankrupted three companies
three divorces this is how he deals with
feedback ready Mercedes okay here we go
of course right his favorite phrase was
my way or the highway
as long as you live in my house you’ll
live by my rules he was not open to
feedback because he would rather be
right than successful if you know anyone
like that
yeah let’s give Mercedes a hand for
volunteering so the key here is to what
ask for feedback and when you get it
listen to it then correct and keep
moving toward your target step number
six the last step perseverance keep on
keepin on never give up never give up if
you’ve got a goal that’s important in
your heart don’t give up as I said
earlier we would have self-published our
book if no one else would have published
it you got to have that kind of
commitment to your goals you may not
know this but the average millionaire in
America goes bankrupt three and a half
times before they come a millionaire I
don’t know you go bankrupt a half of
time but you can do that statistically
Walt Disney went bankrupt five times
Henry Ford went bankrupt three times
remember we did Chicken Soup for the
Soul 133 publishers said you know
when they did the guy that wrote the
book mash that became the TV show took
him seven years as a high school teacher
we wrote at night member persevere a
little bit every time break it down
every night he wrote what happened
turn down by 18 publishers until Mauro
bought the book
Jonathan Livingston Seagull turned down
by 19 function Louis L’Amour the great
author is two hundred books and French
got three hundred rejections before he
ever sold a piece of writing Alex Haley
who wrote roots got a rejections that
every week for four years 200 rejections
before he sold his first piece of
writing see it takes perseverance Fred
Astaire goes in for his first screen
test what do they say can’t act bald
dance is a little he had that framed in
his living room after he went on to
become what one of the greatest dancing
actors singers we’ve ever seen in their
history you don’t let other people
determine you persevere you hang in
there so if you’ll make your dreams a
priority and if you’ll surround yourself
with positive people if you take 100%
responsibility for your life and decide
exactly what you want and set specific
goals and objectives and visualize your
goals is already completed take massive
and repeated action to respond to
feedback make corrections on course off
course never give up and I promise
you’ll start to live an amazing life
full of dreams come true
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