[Music]
if you find your passion you’re gonna
have this tremendous energy a
sustainable energy but momentum requires
you always do the next thing that keep
the momentum going and the reason you
get yourself in a passionate place is so
that you change your life and the only
thing that changes your life is making a
decision so while you’re in this
passionate state that’s where you make
decisions you don’t make decisions when
you’re like oh I don’t know what do you
think all right let’s decide if you make
a decision in a state without momentum
if you make a decision from a place
where there’s no passion you are not
gonna get momentum it’ll kill momentum
it’s decide commit and resolve some of
you in the past you’ve gotten momentum
you’ve gotten passionate you’ve even
made a decision but a decision is the
first step decision is like a war I got
to do this or that all right I’m gonna
make myself through this but commitment
is when you nail after you’ve decided
you commit to do this for the long term
whether it’s hard or easy doesn’t matter
you’re doing this it takes it from this
moment and it carries it into the future
even when things are difficult and the
third state is resolved resolved
means it’s done it’s like it doesn’t
even if you took actually it’s done
inside you so it’s done out there
there’s no question whatsoever then once
you decide the only way the commitment
and the energy and the momentum
continues is if you take immediate
massive what my friends massive life
write down in your notes massive action
is the cure-all massive action is the
cure-all if you’re having a difficult
time with something your relationship
isn’t where you want it to
your finances are not where you want to
be your body’s not where you want to be
your business is not where you want to
be you need to take massive action and
if that doesn’t work try something else
so that’s just work try something else
keep going with massive action and you
will find the way because it will give
you momentum if you want to grow a
business I can teach you a million
strategy will change you overnight and
if I get you to use the strategy and
grow your business 30% like that you are
gonna get so excited that your story
about your business will change wrote it
feel like I can lift this open I’m gonna
make this thing a hundred percent more
profitable that’s why eighty percent
those people I can grow them thirty two
hundred thirty percent because once I
get into momentum people’s story changes
and when their story changes the third
and most important thing changes their
state because that’s what really changes
[Music]
the ultimate question I’m always asking
is how do I help people to break through
the question is what are you breaking
through to in essence all of us at some
level to feel alive have to always feel
like we’re growing when people ask me
what does it take to be happy always
telling one word progress progress
equals happiness even if you’re not
where you want to be yet if you’re on
the road if you’re improving if you’re
making progress you’re gonna love it
you’re gonna feel alive on the other
hand it doesn’t matter how successful
you are if you stop growing
you start dying inside now how does this
relate to this session I’m breakthrough
I’ll say it’s really simple if you and I
want to know what it takes to be happy
we have to understand what is our
current blueprint of how our life’s
supposed to be total mean by blueprint
well we have a story in our head of how
life’s supposed to be some people’s
story is you work hard in school you
become really great you’re a nice person
you’re a good person and then you grow
up and you take care of yourself and you
find the ideal man and you fall in love
you have a white picket fence you have
to be broken children and you live
happily ever after somebody else’s story
the old story was you work really hard
in school you excel in college you’re
going to work for a big corporation and
you move up through the ranks until
you’re of the President or chairman of
the company and you become successful
respected throughout life these are some
old stories obviously the stories that
we hear today and what people’s lives
are supposed to be like are completely
diverse and no longer have these little
archetypes but when archetype still
seems to remain
man archetype is in order for you to
really feel like you’re enough many
people believe they have to achieve an
enormous amount they may do it in
different ways than they may do it by
building a company and taking a public
when they’re 27 or 25 years old or you
know they find and create a new
technology or they become a very special
doctor but we live in a culture in the
West that teaches people that you’re not
enough unless you do something really
special and unique and we define special
and unique and interesting ways a
schoolteacher is not special and unique
a mother who stays home with her
children
day and night sculpting their minds
their bodies their souls and their
future is not special we live in a world
today where we treat teachers like
they’re nobody and pay them accordingly
and we wonder why our children seem to
have challenges of learning and growing
or being engaged in school we spend
thousands of dollars on some item like a
computer but what we look at overall we
invest in for the teacher and for that
person is the personal connection with
them is so small we live in a society
where many women look down and say well
you’re just a housewife you’re just a
mother see some of the pain we have in
our society is not because there’s one
right or one wrong approach but because
we try to make everybody fit into some
particular approach to life here’s
what’s gonna make you happy or make you
unhappy in life it’s real simple let’s
do a quick test if you’re in a situation
right now where you look at your life I
know there’s an area of your life that
you’d probably feel pretty darn good
about even if you’re not happy with your
finances I bet you feel damn good close
to your kids or if you’re not close to
your kids maybe you don’t have any kids
maybe you feel really good about your
career if you’re doing not so good in
your career maybe you got a really great
body that you’ve trimmed down or
strengthened up or you know you really
shaped yourself the way you want
muscularly or and the way you look or if
that’s not happening maybe you feel a
really special connection with God or
really close to your mother or father
your family whatever almost everybody
has an area of their life they feel
really good about if they’re honest if
they’re fair to themselves what’s an
area of your life you really feel happy
about I want you think about it for a
moment truthfully what’s an area in your
life today
that if you wanted to be happy about it
you really could feel proud about it you
could feel like so
are you doing darn well in and if you’re
really hard on yourself there’s still an
area what’s an area I want to think of
it right now now once you think of that
area whether it’s your body or your
finances or your career or your intimate
relationship or your relationship with
your kids your relationship with your
Creator whatever it is I want you to
think about why are you happy with that
air of your life right now today why are
you happy with that area of your life
right now today I really think about if
you’re in a seminar with me I’d have you
write this down if you can you can put
me on hold here for a second because I’d
like to reveal to you what the formula
is for happiness and if I say there’s a
formula for happiness and here’s what it
is you’re gonna go yeah yeah sure and
that’s what he says but if you put down
the answer and we can see the formulas
real without me telling you what it is
you get to look at your own life and say
it matches you’re gonna know this is
right so you could stop this right now
if you want put me on hold and just
write down what’s an area of your life
you’re really really happy about it
really pleased with or you could be if
you wanted to focus on it and why are
you happy with that part of your life
right now you’re gonna happy with
everything what’s the year you’re happy
with and why put me on hold right now or
you’re not gonna do that
just think for a moment why specifically
be real why now when they asked this if
you’ve turned me back on now if I ask
this of an audience I’ll have people
write this down for a few minutes and
I’ll call in people I’ll say share with
a person next to you first what do you
have me about and why are you happy in
that area and be specific after they
share how people stand up I’ll call in a
variety people and I say ma’am tell me
what are you happy about she’ll say well
honestly I’m really happy with my body
she does I never thought I’d say that
but I used to be so unhappy with it and
you know I finally I did some things I
push myself through and now I exercise
regularly and I’m not perfect but I feel
fit I feel strong I feel energetic and
that’s really I don’t know it just feels
good to me
now I say to everybody I’m not gonna
show you what the formula for happiness
is and it’s real simple I want to reveal
it to you so you don’t ever forget it
whenever you’re happy with the air of
your life it’s because right now your
current life experience I call it your
LC or life conditions the conditions of
your life your life conditions in that
area match or equal to
your blueprint your story your belief
about how life should be in that area so
this woman says to me I’m really
happened in my body because it’s not
perfect her blueprint is I don’t need to
be perfect but it’s so much better than
it was unfit and then strong and I have
this energy her mental blueprint says I
should be fit strong and have energy I
don’t need to be perfect but I should be
that way well in my life my body matches
how I think it should be I feel good
about my life
well that’s somebody else I’ll say you
know tell me there you’re happy with
someone else to say well I’m really
happy with my career and why well I’m
doing better than I even thought I would
be I mean I’m ahead of the schedule of
where I hoped I’d be at this stage I’m
working at this level in this company
and I have these skills and this ability
and it’s even better than I thought well
once again listen this person is happy
with this area of their life because
their current life conditions in the
area called their career are even better
than they expected they would be better
than their blueprint better than their
belief about how it should be if it’s
really better you tend to be over the
moon but one woman would say you know I
kind of tell ya I said I’m the happiest
ever been in my whole life how come she
goes because I have this man in my life
and I’m in love with him and he loves me
and I can be myself with him and he we
have this incredible intimacy and this
passion and we want to be with each
other all the time and I never get bored
with him what’s her blueprint you want
to be with somebody that you could have
total intimacy with somebody who you
love and loves you those are part of her
rules her beliefs of how it should be
she said it you know it’s needs to be I
never want to be with anybody else I
want to be with him every moment her
blueprint about how life should be and
the way she lives her relationships even
better than she hoped when it’s better
than you hope you’re gonna be totally
excited so think about this then what’s
an area you’re not happy with let’s see
we can find the formula for unhappiness
if the formula for happiness is to be
able to meet your expectations or exceed
them that we really make sure excited
but to be happy at least Mita doesn’t
have to be perfect but if you general
your meaning what you expect you want
from your life in that area feel good
like conditions match blueprint feel
good so what makes you feel bad
it’s pain stress frustration real easy
way to figure it out answer this
question what’s an area of life you’re
not happy with let me be honest with
yourself and even if your life is great
all kinds of ways I’m sure there’s an
area you’d like to improve
anybody who’s honest if they’re doing
great in their career very often don’t
take care of their body so much if
they’re really focused on their body you
know very often they find themselves in
a position where they’re not spending
enough time with their kids or if
they’re spending time with their kids
their intimate relationships not doing
so well because it’s the nature of human
beings to focus on areas they feel
comfortable with and strong in and give
those time and the areas they don’t feel
so strong and they go I don’t have time
for it what they’re really saying is I
don’t feel very competent that area so
what’s an area your life that you are
not as happy with
I mean it’s healthy honestly to look at
areas and say I don’t like it I want
more this whole concept of a
breakthrough is about how do I close the
gap between where I am right now and
that’s what we’re here to do is like
here’s what I want to be here’s where I
am it’s healthy to see there’s a gap
that makes me have this hunger this
drive to grow to feel alive to expand as
a human being so what is it your body is
it your finances is it your career is it
your spiritual life or lack thereof in
terms of feeling connected in that area
is it your kids like what’s the area
what’s the area that’s not where you
want it to be and then answer for a
moment why aren’t you happy with that
area of your life right now why
specifically today are you not happy
with that area of your life at this
stage of your time of your life again
you can stop this and write it down
might be useful for you or if you’re
gonna keep it running you stop it and
you’ll turn it right back on I’ll kick
into it do that now or if you kept it
running then just I’ll give you what
happens I have people write this down
and they don’t like this exercise so
much oh I don’t like my body or I don’t
like my finances I don’t like my career
I don’t like the person I’m in a
relationship with I don’t like myself
the way I’m in relationships why they
write it all down how people share back
and forth I call on people and the
lessons pretty clear I tell people in
advance here’s the formula for
unhappiness
I’ll show you before you do anything
else when your life conditions when your
life conditions the way you’re living
your life today does not match it
doesn’t equal your blueprint your story
of how it’s supposed to be then you’re
gonna have disappointment frustration or
pain if your life is way different than
the way you think it’s supposed to be
you can have enormous pain if it’s a
little different you might feel stressed
make sense so people stand up and reason
tell me you know what’s here you’re not
happy with the person says well you know
I’m really not happy with my finances
like oh why and they say because I’m
doing worse now than I was five years
ago I made mistakes in the market and at
this stage of my life I should have this
much money and I don’t have it and I
don’t know how to change it and it’s
making me crazy then why are they crazy
you say well because they don’t have
their economic needs no no you cannot
have your economic needs met and you can
still be okay but when you have an idea
this is what my need is and I did the
wrong thing my life doesn’t match how
I’m supposed to be that’s when people
get a little crazy so you think about it
if you grew up taking care of folding
your own clothes making your own meals
going to the store doing the grocery
shopping cleaning the bedroom cleaning
the house vacuuming taking out the trash
and you did that your whole life then if
you have to do that later on you don’t
feel like you have economic pain because
you’ll have a maid
but if you grew up an environment where
everything was done for you you never
have to work and now suddenly you have
to work incredibly hard to just pay
enough money to pay your bills and all
of a sudden food is building up and
house is dirty and your clothes aren’t
folded and nothing matches you might
find yourself really angry and
frustrated because you have a different
story about how I’m supposed to be then
how it is someone else’s say well I’ll
tell you why because I’m in a situation
now where you know I’m 30 pounds
everything I should be should be the key
word there are people there are people
in all cultures who love being big there
are people that will walk around and
someone else might think they’re
massively overweight but they’re gone I
own this honey and they really truly
they match their blueprint big is
beautiful because their ideas big is
beautiful I’m big
that’s beautiful matches my blueprint
rock and roll I’m happy as can be
somebody else can look like a twig and
be stressed out saying I hate my body
because their blueprint says I should be
the skinniest thing on earth and I’m not
skinny enough am I making sense when
your life conditions don’t match your
blueprint you’re gonna have pain but
here’s when you suffer when I ask people
who here has been through the dark night
of the soul who’s been here in a
situation where you feel like like like
life life isn’t worth living or we feel
like a pain that just will never go away
and I’ll have people write down those
experiences like Joaquin so you’ll begin
to understand what the issue is I’m
talking about here while Keane if you
recall was in a situation where this man
felt like there was no reason to live he
couldn’t work he couldn’t do anything
his life was worthless why did he think
that because he had a blueprint and his
blueprint said I need be an NBA
basketball player or at least a
professional basketball player I need to
be able to make money and have this
great lifestyle because that’s what
makes me worthwhile as a human being
that’s what makes my family respect me
my mother my uncle’s my aunts I am the
successful one in the family and I make
the money I support everybody he’s a
good man he didn’t come just to be
successful he took care of his mother
his families he tried to be an
inspiration for people walk
Hawkins is Amana was always going out on
his free time and training kids and
showing them the pathway to freedom how
they could play basketball and get free
like he did and get out of the inner
city so this man is not a selfish man
but he knew this is the way to be
worthwhile this is the way to be able to
give to people this is the way to take
care of your family and all of a sudden
one night what happened that way was
taken from him he has a stroke and
another night his life conditions make
it impossible to be who he has to be or
he feels like he’s worthless you get it
we have an identity we have a story of
how we’re supposed to be and if life
somehow gets in the way of that story we
feel pain but if we feel we have no
control that’s when we go into suffering
see it’s one thing to say my life
doesn’t match my blueprint I got to lose
weight that might stress you out or my
life doesn’t match my blueprint I’m not
in a relationship I gotta get in one
that might motivate you even you might
not like it but you’re gonna find a way
to get on with or my career doesn’t
that’s how I should be you could change
it but when you start believing that
your life doesn’t match your blueprint
and you have no control to change it
you’re helpless that’s when people
suffer and so this week for your
breakthrough it’s a chance for you to
start to take a look at your blueprint
anywhere you’re really having pain Hey
look if you’re doing great in some area
of your life celebrate of course and I’m
sure there are many areas you are but
life is really a series of growth spurts
I mean two things in life make you feel
alive growing and giving and what’s
really wonderful about this man Joaquin
is he was constantly growing trying to
get better trying to be a better
teammate a better basketball player
think about it when you didn’t make the
team’s I didn’t make the NBA he didn’t
give up he worked even harder the guy
was always striving striving to become
something and he became it and he
achieved it and then life took it from
him isn’t that the common denominator
with so many of the people and the
stories of this six-part series that you
saw these six specials I mean Frank and
Kristen had a blueprint of what life was
supposed to be about we’re supposed to
get married and have children and we’re
gonna have our own business and all of a
sudden life doesn’t match the blueprint
and suddenly there’s depression because
in their case they said there’s nothing
we could do but they were wrong they are
wrong because they discovered and Frank
discovered I can make a difference in my
wife the chair even though I didn’t
create this and then ask for this chair
does not define me I can become more
than I was before I can have the impact
on my wife I can have children we had to
change his blueprint because we couldn’t
change all the conditions of his life
does that make sense I couldn’t get him
to physically walk again maybe someday
he will but we can’t count on that well
we gotta count on is that he can be
fulfilled by seeing he isn’t helpless
and I did that to a series of
experiences that violated what he
thought he couldn’t do the same thing
was true with almost every one of the
people we worked with at some level and
in Joaquin’s example it was also true
Akeem said while I I can’t ever have
this quality of life again because I’m
not a professional basketball player and
he was locked into that mindset and all
of us get locked at times but to his
credit to a system of steps we were able
to break him out of that we would get
him to see that he isn’t helpless
because here’s your choice watch this
now if you’re suffering if you’re in
pain your life doesn’t match how you
think it should be and you think you’re
helpless to change it
now you have only three choices choice
one blame something and that’s what
Walking Dead if you recall he blamed his
coach he blamed what happened to him and
of course these things were outside his
control but he blamed his coach and a
big part of the healing if you watched
this session was bringing his coach in
and getting him to see hey you know what
all that anger all that resentment
inside of you are keen a it’s not based
on the truth and be like Nelson Mandela
said you know having resentment in your
soul is like drinking poison and hoping
that your enemy will die and then work
that way
then when Joaquin was able to break out
his breakthrough was a change in
perception to realize this coach wasn’t
stopping me I just felt like I lost
everything and so I don’t know how to
change it so I’m looking for something
to be mad about someone
Blayne so so I don’t have to blame
myself or I don’t have to feel so
helpless because when you’re angry you
don’t feel so helpless you feel strong
for the moment even though it’s a fake
strength when he was able to make that
breakthrough he could stop blaming cuz
these are three choices when life
doesn’t match how you think it should be
blame something an event someone else or
yourself as we talked about earlier in
the series blame games just destroy you
there’s no progress when you blame for
the moment you feel okay but nothing
changes what are your real choices you
only have two choices in life if life
doesn’t match your blueprint you either
have to change your life that is you
kind of say you know what my body isn’t
there I’m gonna go work out my
relationship is in there I’m gonna
change it you know I’m not making one I
gotta make I’m gonna retool I’m gonna
get a new skill I’m gonna go back to
school I’m gonna start a business I’m
gonna do something you have to do
something to change your life or in
order for you to be happy
if you can’t change your life you’re
gonna have to change your blueprint
usually in life it requires a little bit
of each does that make sense and if
you’ve changed your take change your
life and change your blueprint you can
have an extraordinary life and what you
witnessed this man do was once he let go
of his anger and his denial once he
started to look at things he began to
find by spending time with his family
that he was worthwhile being loved while
he played basketball or not of course
vegetable basketball is no longer part
of it and we had to get Joaquin to shift
that and Joaquin is a metaphor for all
of us because all of us are gonna have
times in our life when what we want or
think life should be like isn’t gonna
match how life really is those moments
if we blame our life goes into pain if
we change we can change our life and
match our blueprint but we have to also
know when it’s not within our control
and that’s how we’re able to make a
shift and change what our story is for
our life what our expectations are not
by lowering them but by changing what
that model really is helping us make
sense to you I’ll give you a great
example
years ago I I do a lot of work with
business people celebrities people of
all kinds and walks of life and I was
dealing with a group of people and they
knew a very very powerful celebrity and
without to give that person privacy I
won’t tell you too many details we can’t
figure
exactly who it is but it would be a
person who was very successful as a
woman who was extremely attractive by
cultural standards a woman who’s had a
lot of dear friends a lot of deep
respect so great skill great ability
extremely talented quite attractive
quite wealthy in financial terms and
lots of great friends this would be for
most people’s idea the ultimate
blueprint if your life matches that
description you must have an incredible
life but ironically this particular
individuals famous as they were was
depressed all the time
they had seemingly everything and yet
the person was depressed how do you get
depressed when you’re smart and you’re
strong and you’re beautiful and you got
great friends and you’re rich and you’re
famous well it’s real simple people said
I don’t know what it is everyone’s tried
to help her she’s been on the through
counseling she’s got all these different
drugs nothing’s working
she’s taking antidepressants and she’s
still depressed which is not uncommon by
the way because if you change the way
you feel physically but you still see
your life doesn’t match how you think it
should be at some level and you feel
like you’re helpless to change it you’re
gonna be depressed so I said bring her
to me I said I can help her I know that
sounds like hyperbole but I absolutely
can help her well how do you know that
Tony because I already know what the
problem is I know if someone’s depressed
it’s because they feel helpless because
their life doesn’t match how they think
it should be I just didn’t know what her
blueprint is but we’ll find out what it
is and we’ll either help her change her
life or help her change her blueprint or
both long story short and very quickly
I’ll tell you the core of it which came
to me and she spent maybe the first
half an hour telling me apologizing
saying I know it should be happier I
know it’s silly for me to be depressed I
don’t know why I’m so depressed III know
I should be grateful for what I have and
I am grateful it was all these reasons
why she knows she should feel good but
still didn’t I try to finally explain to
her listen I don’t care about that I
care about you the fact that you’re not
happy has nothing to do with what you
have or don’t have the fact that you’re
not happy is that your life doesn’t
match the way you think it should be you
have some idea of how you think it
should be and worse if you’re this
depressed after all this time you feel
like you can’t do anything you have no
power to change it you feel helpless and
she looked at me in a certain way and I
said so what is that what did you want
your life to be like she goes well that
sounds stupid
I says – sounds stupid to me she said
well I don’t know I just always I was a
little girl dreamed that I would be
married and I have three basically
perfect children and they would love me
totally and I love my husband he loved
me and I said okay so how’s that working
for you so far and she said well I think
you know there’s pretty famous person
she said I’m the worst twice I have no
children
and now X age and to give you a clue
that age would be an age where having a
child your own natural child at least
barring a medical miracle is not going
to happen so I said to her well why
don’t you just adopt no no no no no
that’s not it so what I had to dig under
is never we talked at one of the earlier
sessions about there’s the surface
problem and then there’s the deeper
desire or need so I said to her I said
well what if you couldn’t have the
husband but you could have the kids and
she smiled she said I take that I said
well why not adopt their kid she goes
now it has to be my own blood children
so I kept digging to find out what was
behind her blueprint because your
blueprint is just a projection of what
you think you need to be happy but as
human beings were notoriously
ineffective at knowing that’s gonna make
us happy so much that we think we’re
gonna make us happy we get there we go
is this all there is so many things that
we think are gonna make us miserable we
can never deal with we go through it we
can handle it we’re not good at
projecting these things all kinds of
studies will show this so I said to her
well what what are you hoping to get
from these three children why do they
have to be your blood children and she
finally said well if they’re my blood
children I know they’ll always love me
they’ll never leave me what was she
looking for unconditional love she had
this big blueprint that said white house
pick advance three children perfect
husband you know all these different
things but what was behind that was a
need and need to feel like she could
have loved that would be certain and
wouldn’t go away
so I can help her meet that need so I
said to her I said well maybe one reason
you don’t have a husband is because
every time you look at one you’re trying
to figure out if he’s gonna get you
those three kids in time and how that’s
gonna happen and maybe he feels little
stressed when you slow you’re looking at
in this way because he can feel what’s
going on behind your bed even if he
doesn’t know what the words are and she
started laughs she cuz I guess I’ve
probably been that way a good portion of
my life and she goes people wonder you
know why I’m so uptight
I say you’re uptight because you were
felt like you’re running out of time
trying to meet some picture but I said
all you really want is love
I said don’t channel I love a new life
tell me about your friends and gradually
I got her to start seeing this love that
she was trying to get was already here
it didn’t match the picture maybe maybe
we could paint a new picture of what
life could really be like and make sure
that picture met her deepest needs
that’s basically we did Joaquin Joaquin
wanted to be a professional basketball
player cause he loved basketball yes but
also because he wanted to be that man
who was a leader he wanted to be a man
who was the good man he want to be the
one who brought energy to people he want
to be the man people would look up to he
want to be the man who could take care
of his family and style all of his
family not just his daughters and his
wife but other people as well underneath
it all he wanted to know that he
mattered and through the process that
you saw in the show he began to find out
that he didn’t need to be angry at the
world that yes his blueprint was taken
from him but his soul and his ability to
be a special human being and it could
touch other people was not taken from
him that may be his real gift was his
ability to inspire young kids his
ability to get himself to do whatever it
took how do you become a professional
basketball player
unbelievable discipline unbelievable
Drive he started bringing that to
picking up trash and the game started to
change he stood out but Mary could come
home and take care of his kids and pay
his bills that doesn’t solve everything
but it gives him a way to suddenly
regain himself when he sat around with
all of his family and you saw part of
those scenes and if you watch little
areas of browsing this week you’ll see
some more scenes from his family where
you see him begin you realize they love
me whether I’m rich or poor
they love me I’m a professional
basketball player not they love me
that’s what he was really after and when
he got that it allowed him to let go and
say I can do other things that doesn’t
mean he won’t have challenges we’re all
gonna have challenges in our life it
doesn’t mean that at times he won’t wish
he’s doing more but he’s no longer stuck
he’s broken through because he now knows
I have control I can change my life or I
can change my blueprint and when I do I
can fulfill it I can start to feel that
aliveness now here’s the trap what do
you think happens once you fulfill your
blueprint regularly once you figure out
how to do what you always dreamed of you
always dream to live a certain way and
now you’re live in that way live in that
way live in that way every day well the
human nervous system human spirit needs
to grow so pretty soon you’ll get bored
and you’ll come up with a new blueprint
that’s part of the part of life that’s
exciting see if you and I are from this
day forward are gonna be happy just
remember what we’ve said it takes two
things grow and give a meaningful life
comes from growing that sense of
progress and it comes from having life
not just be about me but about we doing
something that makes me feel connected
to other people besides myself that
growth that sense of contribution fills
a deep spiritual need that we all have
if you are unhappy in your life you got
three choices really to blame that’s not
a choice it’s not gonna work don’t blame
someone else don’t blame you that don’t
blame yourself just figure out what
you’re gonna do to change your life
that’s my specialty if you like my
coaching or my team’s coaching come
visit with us come to an event come get
a coach come to a program or we’ll guide
you through it more than just a few
minutes like this and we’ll do it
directly an environment that will shift
you or change your blueprint you’re
gonna have to rewire what’s going on
inside and that’s what we focus on as
well so I hope this journey has been an
interesting one for you I hope it’s
opened up your eyes to what it takes to
go from where you are to where you want
to be it takes changing your emotional
pattern to change bringing presents to
your life
it takes realizing you have no problems
compared to somebody else and putting
your life in perspective it takes the
ability to deal with those extreme
stresses that happen in your life by
questioning your limiting beliefs and
again if we’d love to coach you and show
you how to change those in a permanent
way where it happens automatically just
like lifting weights so often till the
muscle is always there and you find
yourself able to follow through it takes
for you to be able to figure how to deal
with crisis and how to turn it around
it takes facing your fear it takes
pushing yourself through what used to
stop you it takes putting yourself in a
position where you connect to what’s
more important than just yourself what
you value than just yourself and it
takes I think in this case also the
ability to realize that no matter what
happens to you you’re more than that
moment you’re more than the story you
think you’re supposed to be and that
even when you’re not matching what you
think you need to be maybe there’s a
reason for that maybe you’re having to
find a different part of yourself that’s
going to fulfill you at a much D
level sometimes failing to get your goal
gives you your destiny I can’t tell you
how many people I’ve known of the years
who had an idea of what they thought
their life was supposed to be like and
they didn’t achieve it they felt
miserable and upset and frustrated and
one day an opening happened and they
went oh my God thank God that didn’t
happen
I think it’s Garth Brooks had a great
song and it’s a song about when he was
in high school and he was in love with
this girl infatuated with her and she
didn’t even know that he existed and he
prayed to God every day that she would
notice him that she would fall in love
love him and then sure enough she never
did
he was so disappointed his blueprint
didn’t match his life didn’t match it
because she didn’t even know he existed
and he felt this suffering he could do
nothing to turn it around well 15 years
later he became a guy named Garth Brooks
somebody everybody knew and he could
rock you know stadiums with his energy
and his song and his music and it goes
back to being this high school reunion
it was his 15 year even if I remember
correctly I don’t remember the exact
year but all I remember is he said he
saw that woman that he was so obsessed
by I was looking forward to seeing her
and now I’m just Garth Brooks and he met
her and after he met her and spent some
time with her he wrote a song called
thank God for unanswered prayers
sometimes not getting your blueprints
the best thing that ever happen because
the disappointment drives you to find
something more important inside of you
or not getting it makes you look for
another aspect of your life a spiritual
aspect of a family aspect a physical
aspect if you can just trust that life
doesn’t happen to you it happens for you
then you can find in any situation a
benefit that can take your life to the
next level I don’t care if you’re Frank
and Christian I don’t care if you’re you
know Mandy and Scott I don’t care if
you’re Joaquin and Kim every one of us
in our life is gonna feed faced
situations where it feels like we have
total trauma something that’s been taken
from us the real question is what are
you gonna do with it
some people just live in the story of
what they don’t have and they have the
right to do that if Frank and Kristin
lived in pain and felt bad we’d all say
they have the right to do it
interesting what you have the right to
do and what you deserve to give yourself
and others we have the ability to
transcend whatever happens to us there’s
something called post-traumatic growth
very few people know about it two people
go through the same stress ones
destroyed the other grows what’s the
difference the people that grow will not
give up they don’t have any excuses they
find the way to break through whatever
it takes and when they do three things
happen number one they realize who they
really are and what they’re capable of
they realize there’s so much stronger
than they thought they were and number
two they deepen all their relationships
you want to know who really cares about
you who you love and who loves you go
through some tragedy go through some
hard times all your Facebook friends go
away your real friends your real family
shows up for you and you show up for
them and it deepens your relationships
and the third thing happens if you can
push yourself through and break through
whatever challenges life gives you is
each time you have a breakthrough you
get stronger and it almost like builds a
psychological immunity in you where
suddenly all of a sudden it’s like stuff
happens you know stuffs gonna happen and
you’re not scared of it anymore cuz
after you’ve been through a stroke after
you’ve been through you know losing the
use of some of your body or senses after
you lose a family member and you break
through to that you get to the other
side it’s like give me your best shot
life it’s almost like there’s this
psychological immunity that says I’m
ready for whatever life will give me I
don’t want challenges but if they’re
here I know I can handle them that
strength of spirit is what creates a
sense of freedom and joy in life and
that strength of spirit basically comes
from living a life where you are
constantly and never ending the new way
to improve yourself and to help others
that’s my mission and if we can serve
you again in the future I hope they’ll
check us out there’s three ways you can
continue to participate with us you can
come to an event come have an experience
with us live in a weekend at our unleash
the power within or our date with
destinies I think you’ll find it’s very
different than just sitting here talking
to you quietly sitting in front of your
computer screen it’s a rock-and-roll
environment it’s like going to the
ballpark and having one person sitting
there talking to you versus being in the
ball park or the rock and roll concert
you know with
fifty-thousand there’s an energy and a
power that comes from it second is
there’s immersion here we talked for an
hour there’s distractions and emails
there it’s total focus and we go for
immersion we’re literally what we did
here over six weeks few little
conversations all that happens over and
over again multiple times a day and you
get that shift so come to an event or
call up and get a coach we have people
that you can work with and have a free
coaching session to make sure it’s
really valuable for you but these are
people that can check in with you to
help make sure you break through you
make the changes you want to make and
your career your finances your body or
your emotions or whatever area matters
to you and finally lastly and probably
most importantly every day you got to
feed your mind cuz every day most of us
are turning on you know some form of
news it shows up at our pocket and our
blackberries or I you know iPods or
iPhones I should say it shows up you
know on your computer constantly it
chases us and it rarely does a good idea
interrupt you really what you have to do
is pursue the ideas pursue the
experiences they’re gonna change your
life
and we have a way to do it called net
time no extra time a way where you can
keep feeding your mind the stuff that
really matters with some products or
services so if you’re interested in any
of those things be sure to click on your
interest of an event your interest in
having a free coaching session or maybe
try one of our audio programs because
the other challenge here is what video
got to sit here potentially and watch me
but with audio you can do it while
you’re working out you can do it while
you’re cleaning the house you can do it
while you’re driving in the car are you
getting to work we’d love to continue
serving you in any way we can I know
I’ve gone wrong in this session but I
really want you to think about how can I
get my life the way I want it to be the
way I do it is I figure out what my
blueprint is and I update it for what
life is I changed my life
match my blueprint and suddenly my life
feels full and a lot thank you for the
time that we spent together here I’ve
really enjoyed our time and I hope that
this breakthrough series reminds you to
never settle for less than you can be
never settle for less than you can give
or you can share live strong live with passion and god bless
if you find your passion you’re gonna
have this tremendous energy a
sustainable energy but momentum requires
you always do the next thing that keep
the momentum going and the reason you
get yourself in a passionate place is so
that you change your life and the only
thing that changes your life is making a
decision so while you’re in this
passionate state that’s where you make
decisions you don’t make decisions when
you’re like oh I don’t know what do you
think all right let’s decide if you make
a decision in a state without momentum
if you make a decision from a place
where there’s no passion you are not
gonna get momentum it’ll kill momentum
it’s decide commit and resolve some of
you in the past you’ve gotten momentum
you’ve gotten passionate you’ve even
made a decision but a decision is the
first step decision is like a war I got
to do this or that all right I’m gonna
make myself through this but commitment
is when you nail after you’ve decided
you commit to do this for the long term
whether it’s hard or easy doesn’t matter
you’re doing this it takes it from this
moment and it carries it into the future
even when things are difficult and the
third state is resolved resolved
means it’s done it’s like it doesn’t
even if you took actually it’s done
inside you so it’s done out there
there’s no question whatsoever then once
you decide the only way the commitment
and the energy and the momentum
continues is if you take immediate
massive what my friends massive life
write down in your notes massive action
is the cure-all massive action is the
cure-all if you’re having a difficult
time with something your relationship
isn’t where you want it to
your finances are not where you want to
be your body’s not where you want to be
your business is not where you want to
be you need to take massive action and
if that doesn’t work try something else
so that’s just work try something else
keep going with massive action and you
will find the way because it will give
you momentum if you want to grow a
business I can teach you a million
strategy will change you overnight and
if I get you to use the strategy and
grow your business 30% like that you are
gonna get so excited that your story
about your business will change wrote it
feel like I can lift this open I’m gonna
make this thing a hundred percent more
profitable that’s why eighty percent
those people I can grow them thirty two
hundred thirty percent because once I
get into momentum people’s story changes
and when their story changes the third
and most important thing changes their
state because that’s what really changes
[Music]
the ultimate question I’m always asking
is how do I help people to break through
the question is what are you breaking
through to in essence all of us at some
level to feel alive have to always feel
like we’re growing when people ask me
what does it take to be happy always
telling one word progress progress
equals happiness even if you’re not
where you want to be yet if you’re on
the road if you’re improving if you’re
making progress you’re gonna love it
you’re gonna feel alive on the other
hand it doesn’t matter how successful
you are if you stop growing
you start dying inside now how does this
relate to this session I’m breakthrough
I’ll say it’s really simple if you and I
want to know what it takes to be happy
we have to understand what is our
current blueprint of how our life’s
supposed to be total mean by blueprint
well we have a story in our head of how
life’s supposed to be some people’s
story is you work hard in school you
become really great you’re a nice person
you’re a good person and then you grow
up and you take care of yourself and you
find the ideal man and you fall in love
you have a white picket fence you have
to be broken children and you live
happily ever after somebody else’s story
the old story was you work really hard
in school you excel in college you’re
going to work for a big corporation and
you move up through the ranks until
you’re of the President or chairman of
the company and you become successful
respected throughout life these are some
old stories obviously the stories that
we hear today and what people’s lives
are supposed to be like are completely
diverse and no longer have these little
archetypes but when archetype still
seems to remain
man archetype is in order for you to
really feel like you’re enough many
people believe they have to achieve an
enormous amount they may do it in
different ways than they may do it by
building a company and taking a public
when they’re 27 or 25 years old or you
know they find and create a new
technology or they become a very special
doctor but we live in a culture in the
West that teaches people that you’re not
enough unless you do something really
special and unique and we define special
and unique and interesting ways a
schoolteacher is not special and unique
a mother who stays home with her
children
day and night sculpting their minds
their bodies their souls and their
future is not special we live in a world
today where we treat teachers like
they’re nobody and pay them accordingly
and we wonder why our children seem to
have challenges of learning and growing
or being engaged in school we spend
thousands of dollars on some item like a
computer but what we look at overall we
invest in for the teacher and for that
person is the personal connection with
them is so small we live in a society
where many women look down and say well
you’re just a housewife you’re just a
mother see some of the pain we have in
our society is not because there’s one
right or one wrong approach but because
we try to make everybody fit into some
particular approach to life here’s
what’s gonna make you happy or make you
unhappy in life it’s real simple let’s
do a quick test if you’re in a situation
right now where you look at your life I
know there’s an area of your life that
you’d probably feel pretty darn good
about even if you’re not happy with your
finances I bet you feel damn good close
to your kids or if you’re not close to
your kids maybe you don’t have any kids
maybe you feel really good about your
career if you’re doing not so good in
your career maybe you got a really great
body that you’ve trimmed down or
strengthened up or you know you really
shaped yourself the way you want
muscularly or and the way you look or if
that’s not happening maybe you feel a
really special connection with God or
really close to your mother or father
your family whatever almost everybody
has an area of their life they feel
really good about if they’re honest if
they’re fair to themselves what’s an
area of your life you really feel happy
about I want you think about it for a
moment truthfully what’s an area in your
life today
that if you wanted to be happy about it
you really could feel proud about it you
could feel like so
are you doing darn well in and if you’re
really hard on yourself there’s still an
area what’s an area I want to think of
it right now now once you think of that
area whether it’s your body or your
finances or your career or your intimate
relationship or your relationship with
your kids your relationship with your
Creator whatever it is I want you to
think about why are you happy with that
air of your life right now today why are
you happy with that area of your life
right now today I really think about if
you’re in a seminar with me I’d have you
write this down if you can you can put
me on hold here for a second because I’d
like to reveal to you what the formula
is for happiness and if I say there’s a
formula for happiness and here’s what it
is you’re gonna go yeah yeah sure and
that’s what he says but if you put down
the answer and we can see the formulas
real without me telling you what it is
you get to look at your own life and say
it matches you’re gonna know this is
right so you could stop this right now
if you want put me on hold and just
write down what’s an area of your life
you’re really really happy about it
really pleased with or you could be if
you wanted to focus on it and why are
you happy with that part of your life
right now you’re gonna happy with
everything what’s the year you’re happy
with and why put me on hold right now or
you’re not gonna do that
just think for a moment why specifically
be real why now when they asked this if
you’ve turned me back on now if I ask
this of an audience I’ll have people
write this down for a few minutes and
I’ll call in people I’ll say share with
a person next to you first what do you
have me about and why are you happy in
that area and be specific after they
share how people stand up I’ll call in a
variety people and I say ma’am tell me
what are you happy about she’ll say well
honestly I’m really happy with my body
she does I never thought I’d say that
but I used to be so unhappy with it and
you know I finally I did some things I
push myself through and now I exercise
regularly and I’m not perfect but I feel
fit I feel strong I feel energetic and
that’s really I don’t know it just feels
good to me
now I say to everybody I’m not gonna
show you what the formula for happiness
is and it’s real simple I want to reveal
it to you so you don’t ever forget it
whenever you’re happy with the air of
your life it’s because right now your
current life experience I call it your
LC or life conditions the conditions of
your life your life conditions in that
area match or equal to
your blueprint your story your belief
about how life should be in that area so
this woman says to me I’m really
happened in my body because it’s not
perfect her blueprint is I don’t need to
be perfect but it’s so much better than
it was unfit and then strong and I have
this energy her mental blueprint says I
should be fit strong and have energy I
don’t need to be perfect but I should be
that way well in my life my body matches
how I think it should be I feel good
about my life
well that’s somebody else I’ll say you
know tell me there you’re happy with
someone else to say well I’m really
happy with my career and why well I’m
doing better than I even thought I would
be I mean I’m ahead of the schedule of
where I hoped I’d be at this stage I’m
working at this level in this company
and I have these skills and this ability
and it’s even better than I thought well
once again listen this person is happy
with this area of their life because
their current life conditions in the
area called their career are even better
than they expected they would be better
than their blueprint better than their
belief about how it should be if it’s
really better you tend to be over the
moon but one woman would say you know I
kind of tell ya I said I’m the happiest
ever been in my whole life how come she
goes because I have this man in my life
and I’m in love with him and he loves me
and I can be myself with him and he we
have this incredible intimacy and this
passion and we want to be with each
other all the time and I never get bored
with him what’s her blueprint you want
to be with somebody that you could have
total intimacy with somebody who you
love and loves you those are part of her
rules her beliefs of how it should be
she said it you know it’s needs to be I
never want to be with anybody else I
want to be with him every moment her
blueprint about how life should be and
the way she lives her relationships even
better than she hoped when it’s better
than you hope you’re gonna be totally
excited so think about this then what’s
an area you’re not happy with let’s see
we can find the formula for unhappiness
if the formula for happiness is to be
able to meet your expectations or exceed
them that we really make sure excited
but to be happy at least Mita doesn’t
have to be perfect but if you general
your meaning what you expect you want
from your life in that area feel good
like conditions match blueprint feel
good so what makes you feel bad
it’s pain stress frustration real easy
way to figure it out answer this
question what’s an area of life you’re
not happy with let me be honest with
yourself and even if your life is great
all kinds of ways I’m sure there’s an
area you’d like to improve
anybody who’s honest if they’re doing
great in their career very often don’t
take care of their body so much if
they’re really focused on their body you
know very often they find themselves in
a position where they’re not spending
enough time with their kids or if
they’re spending time with their kids
their intimate relationships not doing
so well because it’s the nature of human
beings to focus on areas they feel
comfortable with and strong in and give
those time and the areas they don’t feel
so strong and they go I don’t have time
for it what they’re really saying is I
don’t feel very competent that area so
what’s an area your life that you are
not as happy with
I mean it’s healthy honestly to look at
areas and say I don’t like it I want
more this whole concept of a
breakthrough is about how do I close the
gap between where I am right now and
that’s what we’re here to do is like
here’s what I want to be here’s where I
am it’s healthy to see there’s a gap
that makes me have this hunger this
drive to grow to feel alive to expand as
a human being so what is it your body is
it your finances is it your career is it
your spiritual life or lack thereof in
terms of feeling connected in that area
is it your kids like what’s the area
what’s the area that’s not where you
want it to be and then answer for a
moment why aren’t you happy with that
area of your life right now why
specifically today are you not happy
with that area of your life at this
stage of your time of your life again
you can stop this and write it down
might be useful for you or if you’re
gonna keep it running you stop it and
you’ll turn it right back on I’ll kick
into it do that now or if you kept it
running then just I’ll give you what
happens I have people write this down
and they don’t like this exercise so
much oh I don’t like my body or I don’t
like my finances I don’t like my career
I don’t like the person I’m in a
relationship with I don’t like myself
the way I’m in relationships why they
write it all down how people share back
and forth I call on people and the
lessons pretty clear I tell people in
advance here’s the formula for
unhappiness
I’ll show you before you do anything
else when your life conditions when your
life conditions the way you’re living
your life today does not match it
doesn’t equal your blueprint your story
of how it’s supposed to be then you’re
gonna have disappointment frustration or
pain if your life is way different than
the way you think it’s supposed to be
you can have enormous pain if it’s a
little different you might feel stressed
make sense so people stand up and reason
tell me you know what’s here you’re not
happy with the person says well you know
I’m really not happy with my finances
like oh why and they say because I’m
doing worse now than I was five years
ago I made mistakes in the market and at
this stage of my life I should have this
much money and I don’t have it and I
don’t know how to change it and it’s
making me crazy then why are they crazy
you say well because they don’t have
their economic needs no no you cannot
have your economic needs met and you can
still be okay but when you have an idea
this is what my need is and I did the
wrong thing my life doesn’t match how
I’m supposed to be that’s when people
get a little crazy so you think about it
if you grew up taking care of folding
your own clothes making your own meals
going to the store doing the grocery
shopping cleaning the bedroom cleaning
the house vacuuming taking out the trash
and you did that your whole life then if
you have to do that later on you don’t
feel like you have economic pain because
you’ll have a maid
but if you grew up an environment where
everything was done for you you never
have to work and now suddenly you have
to work incredibly hard to just pay
enough money to pay your bills and all
of a sudden food is building up and
house is dirty and your clothes aren’t
folded and nothing matches you might
find yourself really angry and
frustrated because you have a different
story about how I’m supposed to be then
how it is someone else’s say well I’ll
tell you why because I’m in a situation
now where you know I’m 30 pounds
everything I should be should be the key
word there are people there are people
in all cultures who love being big there
are people that will walk around and
someone else might think they’re
massively overweight but they’re gone I
own this honey and they really truly
they match their blueprint big is
beautiful because their ideas big is
beautiful I’m big
that’s beautiful matches my blueprint
rock and roll I’m happy as can be
somebody else can look like a twig and
be stressed out saying I hate my body
because their blueprint says I should be
the skinniest thing on earth and I’m not
skinny enough am I making sense when
your life conditions don’t match your
blueprint you’re gonna have pain but
here’s when you suffer when I ask people
who here has been through the dark night
of the soul who’s been here in a
situation where you feel like like like
life life isn’t worth living or we feel
like a pain that just will never go away
and I’ll have people write down those
experiences like Joaquin so you’ll begin
to understand what the issue is I’m
talking about here while Keane if you
recall was in a situation where this man
felt like there was no reason to live he
couldn’t work he couldn’t do anything
his life was worthless why did he think
that because he had a blueprint and his
blueprint said I need be an NBA
basketball player or at least a
professional basketball player I need to
be able to make money and have this
great lifestyle because that’s what
makes me worthwhile as a human being
that’s what makes my family respect me
my mother my uncle’s my aunts I am the
successful one in the family and I make
the money I support everybody he’s a
good man he didn’t come just to be
successful he took care of his mother
his families he tried to be an
inspiration for people walk
Hawkins is Amana was always going out on
his free time and training kids and
showing them the pathway to freedom how
they could play basketball and get free
like he did and get out of the inner
city so this man is not a selfish man
but he knew this is the way to be
worthwhile this is the way to be able to
give to people this is the way to take
care of your family and all of a sudden
one night what happened that way was
taken from him he has a stroke and
another night his life conditions make
it impossible to be who he has to be or
he feels like he’s worthless you get it
we have an identity we have a story of
how we’re supposed to be and if life
somehow gets in the way of that story we
feel pain but if we feel we have no
control that’s when we go into suffering
see it’s one thing to say my life
doesn’t match my blueprint I got to lose
weight that might stress you out or my
life doesn’t match my blueprint I’m not
in a relationship I gotta get in one
that might motivate you even you might
not like it but you’re gonna find a way
to get on with or my career doesn’t
that’s how I should be you could change
it but when you start believing that
your life doesn’t match your blueprint
and you have no control to change it
you’re helpless that’s when people
suffer and so this week for your
breakthrough it’s a chance for you to
start to take a look at your blueprint
anywhere you’re really having pain Hey
look if you’re doing great in some area
of your life celebrate of course and I’m
sure there are many areas you are but
life is really a series of growth spurts
I mean two things in life make you feel
alive growing and giving and what’s
really wonderful about this man Joaquin
is he was constantly growing trying to
get better trying to be a better
teammate a better basketball player
think about it when you didn’t make the
team’s I didn’t make the NBA he didn’t
give up he worked even harder the guy
was always striving striving to become
something and he became it and he
achieved it and then life took it from
him isn’t that the common denominator
with so many of the people and the
stories of this six-part series that you
saw these six specials I mean Frank and
Kristen had a blueprint of what life was
supposed to be about we’re supposed to
get married and have children and we’re
gonna have our own business and all of a
sudden life doesn’t match the blueprint
and suddenly there’s depression because
in their case they said there’s nothing
we could do but they were wrong they are
wrong because they discovered and Frank
discovered I can make a difference in my
wife the chair even though I didn’t
create this and then ask for this chair
does not define me I can become more
than I was before I can have the impact
on my wife I can have children we had to
change his blueprint because we couldn’t
change all the conditions of his life
does that make sense I couldn’t get him
to physically walk again maybe someday
he will but we can’t count on that well
we gotta count on is that he can be
fulfilled by seeing he isn’t helpless
and I did that to a series of
experiences that violated what he
thought he couldn’t do the same thing
was true with almost every one of the
people we worked with at some level and
in Joaquin’s example it was also true
Akeem said while I I can’t ever have
this quality of life again because I’m
not a professional basketball player and
he was locked into that mindset and all
of us get locked at times but to his
credit to a system of steps we were able
to break him out of that we would get
him to see that he isn’t helpless
because here’s your choice watch this
now if you’re suffering if you’re in
pain your life doesn’t match how you
think it should be and you think you’re
helpless to change it
now you have only three choices choice
one blame something and that’s what
Walking Dead if you recall he blamed his
coach he blamed what happened to him and
of course these things were outside his
control but he blamed his coach and a
big part of the healing if you watched
this session was bringing his coach in
and getting him to see hey you know what
all that anger all that resentment
inside of you are keen a it’s not based
on the truth and be like Nelson Mandela
said you know having resentment in your
soul is like drinking poison and hoping
that your enemy will die and then work
that way
then when Joaquin was able to break out
his breakthrough was a change in
perception to realize this coach wasn’t
stopping me I just felt like I lost
everything and so I don’t know how to
change it so I’m looking for something
to be mad about someone
Blayne so so I don’t have to blame
myself or I don’t have to feel so
helpless because when you’re angry you
don’t feel so helpless you feel strong
for the moment even though it’s a fake
strength when he was able to make that
breakthrough he could stop blaming cuz
these are three choices when life
doesn’t match how you think it should be
blame something an event someone else or
yourself as we talked about earlier in
the series blame games just destroy you
there’s no progress when you blame for
the moment you feel okay but nothing
changes what are your real choices you
only have two choices in life if life
doesn’t match your blueprint you either
have to change your life that is you
kind of say you know what my body isn’t
there I’m gonna go work out my
relationship is in there I’m gonna
change it you know I’m not making one I
gotta make I’m gonna retool I’m gonna
get a new skill I’m gonna go back to
school I’m gonna start a business I’m
gonna do something you have to do
something to change your life or in
order for you to be happy
if you can’t change your life you’re
gonna have to change your blueprint
usually in life it requires a little bit
of each does that make sense and if
you’ve changed your take change your
life and change your blueprint you can
have an extraordinary life and what you
witnessed this man do was once he let go
of his anger and his denial once he
started to look at things he began to
find by spending time with his family
that he was worthwhile being loved while
he played basketball or not of course
vegetable basketball is no longer part
of it and we had to get Joaquin to shift
that and Joaquin is a metaphor for all
of us because all of us are gonna have
times in our life when what we want or
think life should be like isn’t gonna
match how life really is those moments
if we blame our life goes into pain if
we change we can change our life and
match our blueprint but we have to also
know when it’s not within our control
and that’s how we’re able to make a
shift and change what our story is for
our life what our expectations are not
by lowering them but by changing what
that model really is helping us make
sense to you I’ll give you a great
example
years ago I I do a lot of work with
business people celebrities people of
all kinds and walks of life and I was
dealing with a group of people and they
knew a very very powerful celebrity and
without to give that person privacy I
won’t tell you too many details we can’t
figure
exactly who it is but it would be a
person who was very successful as a
woman who was extremely attractive by
cultural standards a woman who’s had a
lot of dear friends a lot of deep
respect so great skill great ability
extremely talented quite attractive
quite wealthy in financial terms and
lots of great friends this would be for
most people’s idea the ultimate
blueprint if your life matches that
description you must have an incredible
life but ironically this particular
individuals famous as they were was
depressed all the time
they had seemingly everything and yet
the person was depressed how do you get
depressed when you’re smart and you’re
strong and you’re beautiful and you got
great friends and you’re rich and you’re
famous well it’s real simple people said
I don’t know what it is everyone’s tried
to help her she’s been on the through
counseling she’s got all these different
drugs nothing’s working
she’s taking antidepressants and she’s
still depressed which is not uncommon by
the way because if you change the way
you feel physically but you still see
your life doesn’t match how you think it
should be at some level and you feel
like you’re helpless to change it you’re
gonna be depressed so I said bring her
to me I said I can help her I know that
sounds like hyperbole but I absolutely
can help her well how do you know that
Tony because I already know what the
problem is I know if someone’s depressed
it’s because they feel helpless because
their life doesn’t match how they think
it should be I just didn’t know what her
blueprint is but we’ll find out what it
is and we’ll either help her change her
life or help her change her blueprint or
both long story short and very quickly
I’ll tell you the core of it which came
to me and she spent maybe the first
half an hour telling me apologizing
saying I know it should be happier I
know it’s silly for me to be depressed I
don’t know why I’m so depressed III know
I should be grateful for what I have and
I am grateful it was all these reasons
why she knows she should feel good but
still didn’t I try to finally explain to
her listen I don’t care about that I
care about you the fact that you’re not
happy has nothing to do with what you
have or don’t have the fact that you’re
not happy is that your life doesn’t
match the way you think it should be you
have some idea of how you think it
should be and worse if you’re this
depressed after all this time you feel
like you can’t do anything you have no
power to change it you feel helpless and
she looked at me in a certain way and I
said so what is that what did you want
your life to be like she goes well that
sounds stupid
I says – sounds stupid to me she said
well I don’t know I just always I was a
little girl dreamed that I would be
married and I have three basically
perfect children and they would love me
totally and I love my husband he loved
me and I said okay so how’s that working
for you so far and she said well I think
you know there’s pretty famous person
she said I’m the worst twice I have no
children
and now X age and to give you a clue
that age would be an age where having a
child your own natural child at least
barring a medical miracle is not going
to happen so I said to her well why
don’t you just adopt no no no no no
that’s not it so what I had to dig under
is never we talked at one of the earlier
sessions about there’s the surface
problem and then there’s the deeper
desire or need so I said to her I said
well what if you couldn’t have the
husband but you could have the kids and
she smiled she said I take that I said
well why not adopt their kid she goes
now it has to be my own blood children
so I kept digging to find out what was
behind her blueprint because your
blueprint is just a projection of what
you think you need to be happy but as
human beings were notoriously
ineffective at knowing that’s gonna make
us happy so much that we think we’re
gonna make us happy we get there we go
is this all there is so many things that
we think are gonna make us miserable we
can never deal with we go through it we
can handle it we’re not good at
projecting these things all kinds of
studies will show this so I said to her
well what what are you hoping to get
from these three children why do they
have to be your blood children and she
finally said well if they’re my blood
children I know they’ll always love me
they’ll never leave me what was she
looking for unconditional love she had
this big blueprint that said white house
pick advance three children perfect
husband you know all these different
things but what was behind that was a
need and need to feel like she could
have loved that would be certain and
wouldn’t go away
so I can help her meet that need so I
said to her I said well maybe one reason
you don’t have a husband is because
every time you look at one you’re trying
to figure out if he’s gonna get you
those three kids in time and how that’s
gonna happen and maybe he feels little
stressed when you slow you’re looking at
in this way because he can feel what’s
going on behind your bed even if he
doesn’t know what the words are and she
started laughs she cuz I guess I’ve
probably been that way a good portion of
my life and she goes people wonder you
know why I’m so uptight
I say you’re uptight because you were
felt like you’re running out of time
trying to meet some picture but I said
all you really want is love
I said don’t channel I love a new life
tell me about your friends and gradually
I got her to start seeing this love that
she was trying to get was already here
it didn’t match the picture maybe maybe
we could paint a new picture of what
life could really be like and make sure
that picture met her deepest needs
that’s basically we did Joaquin Joaquin
wanted to be a professional basketball
player cause he loved basketball yes but
also because he wanted to be that man
who was a leader he wanted to be a man
who was the good man he want to be the
one who brought energy to people he want
to be the man people would look up to he
want to be the man who could take care
of his family and style all of his
family not just his daughters and his
wife but other people as well underneath
it all he wanted to know that he
mattered and through the process that
you saw in the show he began to find out
that he didn’t need to be angry at the
world that yes his blueprint was taken
from him but his soul and his ability to
be a special human being and it could
touch other people was not taken from
him that may be his real gift was his
ability to inspire young kids his
ability to get himself to do whatever it
took how do you become a professional
basketball player
unbelievable discipline unbelievable
Drive he started bringing that to
picking up trash and the game started to
change he stood out but Mary could come
home and take care of his kids and pay
his bills that doesn’t solve everything
but it gives him a way to suddenly
regain himself when he sat around with
all of his family and you saw part of
those scenes and if you watch little
areas of browsing this week you’ll see
some more scenes from his family where
you see him begin you realize they love
me whether I’m rich or poor
they love me I’m a professional
basketball player not they love me
that’s what he was really after and when
he got that it allowed him to let go and
say I can do other things that doesn’t
mean he won’t have challenges we’re all
gonna have challenges in our life it
doesn’t mean that at times he won’t wish
he’s doing more but he’s no longer stuck
he’s broken through because he now knows
I have control I can change my life or I
can change my blueprint and when I do I
can fulfill it I can start to feel that
aliveness now here’s the trap what do
you think happens once you fulfill your
blueprint regularly once you figure out
how to do what you always dreamed of you
always dream to live a certain way and
now you’re live in that way live in that
way live in that way every day well the
human nervous system human spirit needs
to grow so pretty soon you’ll get bored
and you’ll come up with a new blueprint
that’s part of the part of life that’s
exciting see if you and I are from this
day forward are gonna be happy just
remember what we’ve said it takes two
things grow and give a meaningful life
comes from growing that sense of
progress and it comes from having life
not just be about me but about we doing
something that makes me feel connected
to other people besides myself that
growth that sense of contribution fills
a deep spiritual need that we all have
if you are unhappy in your life you got
three choices really to blame that’s not
a choice it’s not gonna work don’t blame
someone else don’t blame you that don’t
blame yourself just figure out what
you’re gonna do to change your life
that’s my specialty if you like my
coaching or my team’s coaching come
visit with us come to an event come get
a coach come to a program or we’ll guide
you through it more than just a few
minutes like this and we’ll do it
directly an environment that will shift
you or change your blueprint you’re
gonna have to rewire what’s going on
inside and that’s what we focus on as
well so I hope this journey has been an
interesting one for you I hope it’s
opened up your eyes to what it takes to
go from where you are to where you want
to be it takes changing your emotional
pattern to change bringing presents to
your life
it takes realizing you have no problems
compared to somebody else and putting
your life in perspective it takes the
ability to deal with those extreme
stresses that happen in your life by
questioning your limiting beliefs and
again if we’d love to coach you and show
you how to change those in a permanent
way where it happens automatically just
like lifting weights so often till the
muscle is always there and you find
yourself able to follow through it takes
for you to be able to figure how to deal
with crisis and how to turn it around
it takes facing your fear it takes
pushing yourself through what used to
stop you it takes putting yourself in a
position where you connect to what’s
more important than just yourself what
you value than just yourself and it
takes I think in this case also the
ability to realize that no matter what
happens to you you’re more than that
moment you’re more than the story you
think you’re supposed to be and that
even when you’re not matching what you
think you need to be maybe there’s a
reason for that maybe you’re having to
find a different part of yourself that’s
going to fulfill you at a much D
level sometimes failing to get your goal
gives you your destiny I can’t tell you
how many people I’ve known of the years
who had an idea of what they thought
their life was supposed to be like and
they didn’t achieve it they felt
miserable and upset and frustrated and
one day an opening happened and they
went oh my God thank God that didn’t
happen
I think it’s Garth Brooks had a great
song and it’s a song about when he was
in high school and he was in love with
this girl infatuated with her and she
didn’t even know that he existed and he
prayed to God every day that she would
notice him that she would fall in love
love him and then sure enough she never
did
he was so disappointed his blueprint
didn’t match his life didn’t match it
because she didn’t even know he existed
and he felt this suffering he could do
nothing to turn it around well 15 years
later he became a guy named Garth Brooks
somebody everybody knew and he could
rock you know stadiums with his energy
and his song and his music and it goes
back to being this high school reunion
it was his 15 year even if I remember
correctly I don’t remember the exact
year but all I remember is he said he
saw that woman that he was so obsessed
by I was looking forward to seeing her
and now I’m just Garth Brooks and he met
her and after he met her and spent some
time with her he wrote a song called
thank God for unanswered prayers
sometimes not getting your blueprints
the best thing that ever happen because
the disappointment drives you to find
something more important inside of you
or not getting it makes you look for
another aspect of your life a spiritual
aspect of a family aspect a physical
aspect if you can just trust that life
doesn’t happen to you it happens for you
then you can find in any situation a
benefit that can take your life to the
next level I don’t care if you’re Frank
and Christian I don’t care if you’re you
know Mandy and Scott I don’t care if
you’re Joaquin and Kim every one of us
in our life is gonna feed faced
situations where it feels like we have
total trauma something that’s been taken
from us the real question is what are
you gonna do with it
some people just live in the story of
what they don’t have and they have the
right to do that if Frank and Kristin
lived in pain and felt bad we’d all say
they have the right to do it
interesting what you have the right to
do and what you deserve to give yourself
and others we have the ability to
transcend whatever happens to us there’s
something called post-traumatic growth
very few people know about it two people
go through the same stress ones
destroyed the other grows what’s the
difference the people that grow will not
give up they don’t have any excuses they
find the way to break through whatever
it takes and when they do three things
happen number one they realize who they
really are and what they’re capable of
they realize there’s so much stronger
than they thought they were and number
two they deepen all their relationships
you want to know who really cares about
you who you love and who loves you go
through some tragedy go through some
hard times all your Facebook friends go
away your real friends your real family
shows up for you and you show up for
them and it deepens your relationships
and the third thing happens if you can
push yourself through and break through
whatever challenges life gives you is
each time you have a breakthrough you
get stronger and it almost like builds a
psychological immunity in you where
suddenly all of a sudden it’s like stuff
happens you know stuffs gonna happen and
you’re not scared of it anymore cuz
after you’ve been through a stroke after
you’ve been through you know losing the
use of some of your body or senses after
you lose a family member and you break
through to that you get to the other
side it’s like give me your best shot
life it’s almost like there’s this
psychological immunity that says I’m
ready for whatever life will give me I
don’t want challenges but if they’re
here I know I can handle them that
strength of spirit is what creates a
sense of freedom and joy in life and
that strength of spirit basically comes
from living a life where you are
constantly and never ending the new way
to improve yourself and to help others
that’s my mission and if we can serve
you again in the future I hope they’ll
check us out there’s three ways you can
continue to participate with us you can
come to an event come have an experience
with us live in a weekend at our unleash
the power within or our date with
destinies I think you’ll find it’s very
different than just sitting here talking
to you quietly sitting in front of your
computer screen it’s a rock-and-roll
environment it’s like going to the
ballpark and having one person sitting
there talking to you versus being in the
ball park or the rock and roll concert
you know with
fifty-thousand there’s an energy and a
power that comes from it second is
there’s immersion here we talked for an
hour there’s distractions and emails
there it’s total focus and we go for
immersion we’re literally what we did
here over six weeks few little
conversations all that happens over and
over again multiple times a day and you
get that shift so come to an event or
call up and get a coach we have people
that you can work with and have a free
coaching session to make sure it’s
really valuable for you but these are
people that can check in with you to
help make sure you break through you
make the changes you want to make and
your career your finances your body or
your emotions or whatever area matters
to you and finally lastly and probably
most importantly every day you got to
feed your mind cuz every day most of us
are turning on you know some form of
news it shows up at our pocket and our
blackberries or I you know iPods or
iPhones I should say it shows up you
know on your computer constantly it
chases us and it rarely does a good idea
interrupt you really what you have to do
is pursue the ideas pursue the
experiences they’re gonna change your
life
and we have a way to do it called net
time no extra time a way where you can
keep feeding your mind the stuff that
really matters with some products or
services so if you’re interested in any
of those things be sure to click on your
interest of an event your interest in
having a free coaching session or maybe
try one of our audio programs because
the other challenge here is what video
got to sit here potentially and watch me
but with audio you can do it while
you’re working out you can do it while
you’re cleaning the house you can do it
while you’re driving in the car are you
getting to work we’d love to continue
serving you in any way we can I know
I’ve gone wrong in this session but I
really want you to think about how can I
get my life the way I want it to be the
way I do it is I figure out what my
blueprint is and I update it for what
life is I changed my life
match my blueprint and suddenly my life
feels full and a lot thank you for the
time that we spent together here I’ve
really enjoyed our time and I hope that
this breakthrough series reminds you to
never settle for less than you can be
never settle for less than you can give
or you can share live strong live with passion and god bless
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