friend of mine who was helping me
actually try to get to Bill Gates said
look I’ll help you get to Bill Gates but
you should also talk to Qi Liu and I
trusted him and I went in and I found
out that here’s this guy grew up in a
village outside of Shanghai China with
no running water no electricity his
village was so poor that people walked
around with deformities from
malnutrition but he was a smart guy and
he worked really hard and he got into a
good university and by the age of 27 he
was making the most money he’s ever made
in his life seven dollars a month now
fast forward 20 years later and he’s the
president of Microsoft he is
single-handedly one of the most
inspiring guys and the way he’s impacted
me the most he’s taught me a lot of
lessons he’s taught me not just about
success he’s taught me about
relationships about luck and its role
and about preparation and about
opportunity and about he’s taught me the
most crazy sleeping hacks and diets and
he’s an incredibly inspiring guy but the
biggest thing he taught me is that he
sent the most beautiful thing you would
think someone who grew up in those
circumstances would be very down on his
life and the cards he was outlook I am
very aware and I even told him in the
interview I’m aware I grew up in Los
Angeles in the United States with
running water and electricity in public
schools and when she Lou grew up with
his public schools for every 500
students there was one schoolteacher so
I’m sitting with Cheney says the most
incredible thing he goes every time I go
to a movie with my daughter I think oh
my god I’m in a movie theater and it’s
such an incredible way to live life and
for someone who’s been who was dealt
extremely hard carbs he said the most
beautiful thing he goes in someways life
God the universe or whatever you want to
call it is extremely fair everybody has
24 hours in a day
some might be born with a silver spoon
and some might be born in a village but
there’s an equalizer and we all have 24
hours so it doesn’t matter if you’re a
peasant or if you’re the president you
have 24 hours in a day and it’s up to
you how you’re gonna spend that so I
needed a mentor when I was growing up
and I’m thankful what’s up Gary
like I’m thankful for Gary he helped me
out in so many different ways even
currently today and so one day he says
hey Mike I want to introduce you to my
mentor oh great I didn’t know there was
such a thing as like a grand mentor like
am I ready and so you know this moment
as okay here we go
and it was this but to my surprise it
was this a small you know two three
bedroom two bedroom three bedroom two
bath home and it was well manicured and
it was this Pleasant like 78 82 year old
woman comes out I was just so pleasantly
surprised like okay this is gonna get
good because you just had that sense of
wise woman and it’s the setting that you
would imagine the shag carpet was a
little bit long the drapes were just a
little bit you know you know outdated
and so we sat at the table and she’s
pouring me tea and and she says you know
welcome and so interested to meet you
then we sat down and she said so tell me
what you’re about I said okay well well
the things that are most interests well
okay let me start this way and she
looked at me and she looked at my mentor
and she said thought you said he was
ready I am I I am ready wait wait no no
no I want to answer that and she grabbed
my tea and she said you know when you’re
ready sweetie I’d like to share this tea
with you mmm yeah so I was like super
embarrassed in that moment like I
thought I let my my mentor down and you
know it was like this really intense
experience Wow
how old were you I was at that point was
right after it was like 26
27 somewhere in that range and so I
didn’t know what to do and so it was
this awkward moment but I knew that I
had I was not prepared to even answer
the most basic question who are you and
so that’s where that’s where I just want
to anchor that because I think that that
captures what most of us feel like a lot
most people don’t feel like they know
who they are yeah and so I had this
dramatic moment for me but you know I
think it’s a really important process to
go through so let’s call a personal
philosophy but then let’s extract one
one level out from that the greatest and
the most influential people across the
globe are very clear about their
philosophy the greatest movers and
shakers and change makers are spiritual
leaders and political leaders for the
most part and now we’re starting to see
business leaders you know to do that
what was Confucius your philosophy what
was Buddha’s philosophy what was Jesus
philosophy they’re really clear Jesus
was and I want to oversimplify a
beautiful set of traditions but Jesus
was more about love and service Buddha
was more about you know that all people
are suffering and then so let’s work
through compassion to live with
loving-kindness what was Martin Luther
King Jr’s doctor King Jr’s was about
equality you know it Malcolm X equality
totally different tone totally different
approach mother Teresa Helen Keller what
was Helen Keller’s like okay I’m gonna
go for it hit me like I deserve to be
educated as well she changed the
educational system so the most
influential people were very clear why
because they lined up their thoughts
their words and actions so the thing
that matters most to them and that’s
what a philosophy is about everybody
already has one you have one I have one
whether we could articulate it at
knifepoint in a dark alley totally
different element right and so I think
that that’s a night nice litmus test
like could you get it out in front of a
deranged person who’s got a knife to
your throat like could you do you argue
that clear what you stand for and do you
have your personal philosophy so the
tactics there’s three ways to get clear
be around wise people and have
conversations about philosophy and
wisdom right be around them if you don’t
know one
go try to they’re rare but you know
maybe pray about it maybe talk about
like fine wise people in your lives or
become one okay
or you can watch videos of them I read
their books to get started you know yet
and yes start down that path nice nice
job
you know and there’s something about
being in their presence if you can that
is different horse you know horse okay
and there’s you know synagogues and
churches and there’s folks that you can
find these people and they don’t have to
be spiritual they can be secular as well
so be around wise people write journal
you know there’s something about forcing
words out of your native tongue all the
words of your native tongue to write
down the words and to have a forcing
function to choose words that matter
like there’s something about that and
then the last the third is and all of
them are equally important is listening
so mindfulness practice so listening to
it’s one of the most ancient mindfulness
traditions is asking yourself it’s a
it’s called a constant plate of
mindfulness ask yourself the question
Who am I and just go down that path Who
am I and you’ll learn you’ll learn some
ugly things you’ll learn some wonderful
things and you’ll really learn who you
are and so those are three ways I had
some dude stroke at me he wanted to do
some TV show and the pitch and then he
brought he introduced me to the
investors and the investors boss I’m
gonna be in the episodes and I’m like oh
this is gonna blow then I had these
other dudes who wanna do an MMA show
then I had these other dudes who will
there do a web series and they had the
dudes from the the social network yeah
you know it was all they had
nothing you know I’m saying that one day
I’m sitting you don’t want that’s it I’m
not doing no I’m not even going to
meetings with them I’m not even gonna
meet and if I don’t see a breakdown I’m
not doing I’m not doing that’s it
I’m sticking to my guns and I break down
as the listing of the yeah the next 90
days every week hi Joey we had this
thing we’re doing about mobsters no hey
Joey
we have how much nothing it’s just about
the
not not not not no forget it
got the fatty and you know what happened
Lee I held up a year and AD nothing
really big happen in my life and awesome
when they got a shot go core to be in a
De Niro movie so me holding out showed
me that that’s what you do sometimes
against your own because once you make a
law for yourself you have to stick to it
the first time you go away from that
you’re gonna get yes it always happens
the first time you d like if you say to
yourself you know what my rates gonna be
650 650 650 and some guy comes see well
how about 6 that’s the day you give I’m
gonna give you 6 on a Sunday you know
like okay I take the six of a Sunday buy
them that’s the day you give anything
that changes your original train of
thought
I’m only gonna go as far as you think
you’re worthy hmm I can push you can
push you can have the greatest product
but if you don’t feel worthy you will
work hard to sabotage that relationship
you were right you don’t know you’re
doing you think these are the things I
need and you’re driving that guy away
you’re driving that woman away because
your self-worth says they weren’t gonna
stay forever anyway or self-worth around
money you have a cat that you feel like
you’re worthy of a million dollars you
will always get to 999 thousand and you
will stop because your self-worth says
it what’s a good exercise or process
that we can follow on a daily basis
maybe something simple to enhance our
enrichment absolutely worthiness
absolutely I did this for six months
every single day right after I brush my
teeth and it’s the ICU exercise and you
get in the mirror now it’s not
necessarily simple because because you
deal with yourself of course and as
complicated as you are will be the
degree Organix of the mechanics are very
simple yes I appreciate that distinction
um you get in the mirror and you
complete three different sentences you
want to write this down the first
sentence you look at yourself and you
say your name so you would say Louis and
you complete this is I’m proud that you
and find seven different things every
day
elevate yourself for seven different
each day you can do the same thing you
did the day before
but each they do seven different things
to be proud of the second sentence is
gonna knock you down a little bit it’s
gonna come from your gut Louis I forgive
you for and cut the shackles to blame
shame guilt regret and anger in that
sentence you cut those five shackles not
the first day maybe not the third day
but by the 21st day by the thirteenth
day you’ll feel some relief so Louis I
forgive you for and go back five years
15 years 20 years do that forgive you
fit for that thing don’t nobody know
about but you go ahead and cut those
shackles because if you can still think
about it is still in your energy space
and then the third sentence is Louis I
commit to you that before you make a
commitment to anybody else throughout
your day you make seven commitments to
you so the first sentence I’m proud that
you you’re celebrating yourself first we
are under celebrated as a as a society
we look for acknowledgement they enter
they interviewed a hundred executives
that all made over a quarter of a
million dollars and said would you like
a five percent raise next year or would
you rather be told thank you more often
100 percent 100 percent said keep your
money I’d rather hear thank you so we’re
under celebrated but first celebrate you
be the example when I was on Oprah when
she said what do you do I said I
recognize that I’m the example of how
the rest of the world is supposed to
treat me and it’s my job to give the
world the best example of how I like to
be treated
so celebrate yourself forgive yourself
cut the shackles and then commit to
yourself before you commit to anyone
else that right there powerful that
right there will begin to fill your cup
up mmm to get to your sausage I love
that I’ve done over 600 hours of
television okay non-stop that even
counting the movies they ain’t even
counting over 60 major films let me tell
you something life begins and I look I’m
not even done I’m designing furniture
right now I’m my own furniture line out
right now and look I don’t even know
what I’ll be doing let me sit and see
the thing is you gotta know who’s
Ballack valuing you when NFL stopped
valuing me I was done when Hollywood
stops valuing me I’m done you cannot let
people treat you like you are not
valuable and then I’ll move on to the
next thing
they’re painting on the corner I only go
where I’m invited I’ll only go where I’m
valued and that’s it that’s it when
you’ve done valuing me I’m out but the
problem is these dangling carrots people
got they got people running around hey
take your clothes off do some crazies
man and they want your dangling carrots
I’m like no I do it when you see me
doing anything I’m doing I wanted to do
it in fact it’s about thing you know you
see Old Spice I came up with that I
think you know if you know why you’re
doing something and what it is that
you’re trying to get then it’s a
question of being very very open to
failure and I’m and just you know trying
again and again and again until you get
it and what a leaders look like first
and foremost leaders always have a heard
people always like following leaders
maybe it’s their charisma maybe it’s
their personality maybe it’s because
they’re so in belief of what they say
that you have the ability to convince
people to buy into your vision not just
for a paycheck it’s something more than
that because great leaders they don’t
only have a herd they fight for their
herd and the herd knows that that’s your
job as entrepreneurs these are not
employees that do your bidding
these are partners that you should bring
into your space and you should be
treated like that and they should be
treated like that with respect and with
dignity values are who you are right you
don’t have personal values professional
values it’s really what you stand for
and again there’s no black and white
answer here there’s no right or wrong
value but if you’re building a team or
building an organization you want to
understand your identity and then it
mostly impacts hiring it impacts the way
that you decide to add people to your
team otherwise you can become very very
split in terms of what your mission is
we’re resistant of having the tough
conversations in our female
relationships and our relationships in
general and life with our parents
whatever it is because we’re so we’re
not used to that spike in emotions
because it feels like it’s this what is
this tidal wave coming out into the
world feeling
but what happens is and I just had one
of the toughest conversations in my life
with my mother like two weeks ago and
it’s this spike right it’s like I had to
do the Mel Robbins like five four three
two one no lie like I was like five four
three two one dial or you’re never doing
this I was like I wanted to throw up so
it’s a tidal wave but what happens is
the second you start getting it out
it’s literally 30 seconds to a minute it
clears and you’re on the other side it
feels so much better when you’re done so
much better this way even 30 seconds in
though so it’s just that first spike of
beforehand that it’s like all the
resistance is right here right now you
guys if we just if we would start having
these tough conversations more often
your whole life changes mm-hmm like your
entire life changes and things just
start coming to you because it’s all
about understanding that we are all so
different
we’re bringing in a million different
things from our past and we’re bringing
it into this moment right now and we
don’t even know it like everything I’m
perceiving about you is because of what
I’ve perceived from my past and it’s not
until I realized how I feel if some
things are blocked with me that you
would ever even know ever even know that
you know maybe maybe tall men scare me
sure what a women it does and I’m just
being honest yeah no they don’t scare me
but I’m just saying like anything simple
like that that are bringing into the
moment and there’s so many things you
know layers that we don’t even realize
we’re showing up as or we’re caring or
caring with us that is blocking yeah a
connection if you’re not speaking the
idea of having tough conversations you
know this reflects even in business for
all of us it’s like we’re scared to have
these tough conversations we’re scared
to hurt people we’re scared to say how
we feel because we could really you know
what if we’re not friends anymore we
think that we’re supposed to have these
friends and they’re supposed to be our
life long friends and that’s a huge that
is a huge different covering belief as
well cause any gonna hold on to or
something that maybe is 10 20 years
outdated I don’t know long serves either
of you yes I mean I can’t tell you the
amount of women who are like yeah but
these are the women who I grew up with
and I was in a sorority with him like
you’re never gonna move forward you’re
carrying all of them back here and
you’re evolving and becoming a new
person like
every single day if we’re doing it right
we should have someone say to us you
know you’ve changed yeah oh yeah I’m
growing I don’t want to become a
different person and I think we’re
dragging all of these people behind us
we’re dragging all of these stories and
all of this stuff and we’re showing up
and we’re exhausted and we’re trying to
meet each other and like oh my god
that’s in the women who are maybe doing
the work or who are really ready to
connect if you’re carrying all that
they’re not ready to connect with all of
that either
you didn’t go to films ago you know what
I’m good at it in couldn’t get in they
looked at your early work and said those
guys no no this is all over so were you
watching other movies do I’ve always
watched movies I mean it always been a
student of films and I think it was
Stanley Kubrick who basically said if
you want to learn how to make a villain
just make a film and that was sort of my
approach I started making films when I
was 7 years old
on super 8 you know and I’ve never
really stopped and then my first feature
following you know was made on 16mm with
friends who just did it on the weekends
and put it together pretty cheap very
cheap I mean yeah all told about $6,000
variant you went to Harvard and you’re
dropped out have you ever thought how
your life could be better off if you had
gotten your Harvard degree well I I’m a
weird dropout because I take college
courses all the time I love learning
company courses and things so I love
being a student and there were smart
people around and you know they fed you
and they gave you these nice grades that
made you feel smart so I I feel it was
unfortunate that I didn’t get to stay
there but I don’t think I missed any
knowledge because you know whatever I
needed to learn I would I was still in a
learning mode everybody thought we were
crazy we probably were crazy but having
a dream like that that resonates with
people changing the world achieving
something big it turns out that’s what
pulls you through the hard times every
company has a heart as hard times every
company has setbacks and it’s having
that that that mountain in the distance
that you’re trying to scale that is what
gets everybody through really great
companies just takes a while and it’s
good to not try to do it too fast it’s
really really really good to be
ambitious obviously but it’s not that
great to be too hasty but whatever you
do somebody can do it better you have to
bring your a-game in every single day
there’s nothing unique about any one
individual what’s unique is their
passion their ability to execute to meet
targets and exceed them the minute you
lose that ability in capitalism you’re
gone it’s a fair trade the engine that
makes you rich can take it all away from
you there are no guarantees I think
that’s incredibly important all right so
going into the darkness I think
everybody is motivated by two different
things one you have the beautiful things
in your life the things that are going
well the things that you’re grateful for
the things you’re moving towards instead
of a way you have a compelling vision of
your future it’s something that you’re
very excited about all of those things
are the beautiful things now the flip
side of that equation are the things
that it’s people that doubt you its
haters it’s things you’re moving away
from
it’s fear-based things it’s something
that you absolutely refuse to let happen
so one that is incredibly potent to me
are the people that want to see me fail
so it’s very different than people who
just think you’re going to fail actually
don’t have a lot of aggression towards
people like that but people that want me
to fail those people I have a lot of
aggression for and I find in very acute
moments the darkness serves you better
in very acute moments now the light the
things you’re moving towards the things
that are beautiful the things that
you’re grateful for all of that is the
only winning strategy long-term
because the darkness becomes corrosive
you start to become bitter you start to
be angry you stop being optimistic you
stop seeing things in a way that’s
empowering and positive and I mean just
thinking about the deep limbic system
when it gets inflamed you perceive
things as negative
I think negativity stops people from
making progress there’s a whole host of
neurological reasons and the sort of
mindset reasons why I think that being
negative over the long run becomes very
very detrimental and hold you back but
from an acute standpoint they’ve done
Studies on this if you want someone to
be able to endure more pain the surest
way to get people to endure more pain is
to let them get angry let them be
aggressive and in doing that people are
able to withstand in the clinical trials
I’ll say that’s probably more than this
but in clinical trials they’re able to
withstand 30% more pain so just straight
being able to take more pain anger and
aggression lets you do 30% more so
that’s why I think in acute ways and
short-term bursts that the darkness will
serve you you kind of get lost in the
process of day-to-day you know grinding
it out working pulling on eyes if you
have to you know that this is just about
not losing vision and not losing sight
of what you’re what you’re trying to
accomplish no matter what hurdles you
have to go through so I think that kind
of relates to whatever you’re doing
whatever you know major you’ve chosen
what you’re interested in so for me and
basketball and it’s about you know
visual
whether you write it down and put it on
the wall do something with what your
goals are and get lost in the process of
the day-to-day grind day to day getting
better every single day asking questions
aligning yourself with people that have
been through it before there that are
experienced and leaning on that advice
and just trying to outwork the next
person and that’s the biggest thing when
you start with a lot of stress and fear
and your job is to transform that into
self-confidence and to give you kind of
that you know the ability to say I have
clarity I trust myself I have a feeling
for my vision I can see that happening I
work with entrepreneurs all the time
that kind of shift from you know anxiety
to trust that’s the most important thing
they can go through be lucky I think
when I give that advice be lucky it’s a
little bit glib but I think there’s also
looking out for those opportunities and
being conscious and being aware and
looking for opportunities to be lucky
because you can definitely put yourself
in a position where luck isn’t gonna
make any difference
somebody said to you you’ll have or
you’ll be as successful as you are now
what have you had said back then I
[Music]
believe you that’s what I would have
said because I they believed I believed
anything I had very few people who told
me that I had a small small small group
of people that would tell me something
like that order than that it was just me
telling myself yeah so if someone came
up to me and told me that all the way
back then I’d say you’re damn right his
acting turned out to be all that you
wanted it to be it’s incredible it’s
incredible you know I I never knew that
I could do it as a career I never knew I
it was the first memory that I had it’s
the first thing I can think of as saying
I want to be an actor to my parents and
if I hadn’t lived in Los Angeles and
been in such close proximity to sort of
the mecca
of moviemaking if I didn’t have parents
that said okay we’ll drive you to
auditions we didn’t have the economic
means to you know move camp from Idaho
to Los Angeles because some snotty
ten-year-old kids as a Latina we did it
after school I got to go on auditions
but it was always and I’ve said this
before it felt like an elite group of
people and it felt like I would never
belong to them so once I got the
opportunity to to for example get the
movie this boy’s life with Robert De
Niro I said Wow
now I’m able to not be able to steer the
course of my career I might be able to
have a career similar to these guys that
I’m you know I so admire and that I knew
what 15 years old was the biggest gift
in the world and that that’s that’s
never left me you know I’ve never I’ve
never that that thirst or that hunger
for wanting to give one great
performance that I’m truly satisfied
with or being one movie that I said I
love this film is something that I don’t
know will ever be quenched I don’t know
and that’s I think that that’s a good
thing because it keeps making it keeps
pushing you you know constantly
there’s a lot of conventional wisdom out
there built up over time and built
through all the learnings from all the
companies and this may be fully
applicable to most of the companies out
there but before it’s applied to your
organization I highly recommend that you
question it because it could be
absolutely fatal for your success and so
I think when you are starting a new
business you you don’t want to go after
giant markets you want to go after small
markets and you want to take over those
markets quickly what this all comes down
to is doing something exceptional for
your users whether it’s in community the
hardest thing to do is start you have
all these ideas and everyone has an idea
but it’s really about executing the idea
and building the idea and attracting
other people to help you work on the
idea that is the biggest challenge but
the way to begin is to get the idea out
of your head draw it out you know talk
about it program it if you’re a
programmer or make it if you’re building
something and I find even with myself
that it’s really hard to do a Minimum
Viable Product this minimum that you’re
constantly thinking no no it really has
to have this other partner it really has
to have this and then you over build and
then you have to unbilled and D build
which is very disappointing so doing a
Minimum Viable Product is really
important and it’s even more minimum
than you think it is and so when we’re
coming up with ideas
you know we always ask ourselves what
kind of new market is this creating and
then also what what part of my day and
and what problem is it solving and so
I’ve gone as far as taking an entire
catalogue of my day from the moment I
like open my eyes and writing down every
single thing I do and then asking myself
like is there something here and so it’s
not just about doing focus groups it’s
not just about you know double-checking
your vision it really is about
integrating this concept of testing our
ideas rigorously throughout the product
development process out the marketing
process even as we scale up so when we
see a kid with a lemonade stand it’s
different than when we see a vending
machine selling lemonade even if it’s
exactly the same product because the
story around it is what people are
paying for so when I meet small business
people all I ask them is not what’s
their balance sheet but what’s their
story why should I pick you why do I
care about what you’re doing and if you
start giving me all this inside baseball
statistics about why you’re 2 percent
better than some other competitor I’m
already glazed over because that’s not
part of the way I see the world a lot of
times I’ll be the tours at Mile Run or
something like that and I’m all jacked
up body’s broken mines broken spirits
broken I started to say what if I can
pull this off
when I first walked into the Navy SEAL
recruiters office he looked at me and
said only been 35 African Americans in
70 years make it through you know I said
to myself what if I can be the 36 it’s
the what if I can pull off a miracle
what if I can become someone that no one
thinks I can be and just that just means
talking about that
I haven’t here growing up on my arms
because it makes me just like what if I
can be that guy that people who called
nigger and this and that and now I’m
speaking at tom ferry event you can’t
ever sort of balance two completely
contradictory things as a means of
hedging you have to decide what are you
going to believe in and put all of your
energy behind that and that’s that’s the
those are the kinds of strategic
decisions and trade-offs that you make
every day is
entrepreneur and it’s important that you
create the level of clarity and
conviction to go after an opportunity
that isn’t hedging you know lots of
different ideas or lots of different
approaches because that’s the surest way
that you’ll never be good at sort of
anything once you have the passionate
thing that you’re passionate about
now you can look at other people other
entities or other things or works of art
and you can draw things from that to
help you be better at what you do
by looking for those common denominators
I don’t even know how do I prepare ever
how do I prepare how do I study how do I
view the game how do you build your game
and my response is much like the way he
builds products and you think
sequentially oh yeah you look at this
the end result of what you want to
create but in order to create that
there’s so many other little things that
go into this massive entity that no
device it’s no different than building
my basketball you start with where you
want your game to be what would make
your game most unstoppable or hard to
deal with and now you work backwards
from there and you start building in one
piece at a time one move at a time one
counter there’s a lot of similarities
there a rule of thumb is to only worry
about the next order of magnitude so
when you have 100 users worry about what
the company looks like can it survive to
a thousand a thousand ten thousand and
so on and so forth if you’re worrying
about the millionth user and their
experience and how your technology is
going to scale when you have a hundred
users you’re you’re pointed in the wrong
direction but we realized it pays to be
a cockroach and by that I mean it pays
just to not stop and just to not die
like we thought you know everything
along the way and tried to kill us
right like all of our friends were like
startups are dumb you’re dumb your ideas
are dumb and we kind of just looked at
all them and said whatever and built
codecademy so it pays not to quit today
you should think okay my co-founders do
we do we cover a lot of surface area do
we have different skill sets and is that
somebody that that I trust fundamentally
and that’s those are really really
really important questions to ask
yourself because if so they can be
really strong
nation to go forward if you’re gonna
start your own thing you know maybe you
have a grand grand vision of like all
the different features it’s gonna have
and all the different you know revenue
lines you’re gonna do and you know keep
keep that vision but do one piece of
that first and do it really really
really well it’s so much better to do a
few things well then many things poorly
we get to create any company we want
right we get to create the reason for
its existence we get to create the rules
the game and who we hire and how we hire
them and who can stay and who can’t stay
right it’s it’s beautiful and so I just
would encourage everyone that as we all
contemplate life to try to question the
assumptions that we live by and the
default options that are given to us and
expand our thinking to wonder what we
really can do with our lives what I see
right now is people wrap up their sense
of success and identity with their
prowess and fundraising and comparing
themselves against how their peers are
doing I think that’s really the wrong
way to look at things and it leads to
kind of non optimal outcomes for
instance I don’t know if the valuations
that companies are getting today is
necessarily healthy for the company
themselves and for us again you know our
inability to raise capital actually
forced us to be very disciplined in how
we think about the operational metrics
of the company and that’s allowed us to
you know be pretty successful but what
you really need to do is think about
what is the smallest possible test that
I can run for this idea for this concept
for this theory get it out there and get
customers using it because your
customers are gonna be the ones to tell
you if it’s really working or not try to
do something that you would want to do
anyway whether it’s it doesn’t
necessarily have to be
very successful business because when
you do decide to become an entrepreneur
and start a business chances are it’s
not gonna do it’s not gonna become like
a multi-million dollar business so at
least do something that you love in the
beginning so that even if it fails you’d
still enjoy it I think great
entrepreneurs must have the curiosity to
to kind of metaphorically see around the
corner what’s coming what can I
anticipate that other people don’t see
and then you must have the courage of
your convictions to execute the strategy
you want an idea about what you can say
I know it sounds like a bad idea but
here’s specifically why it’s actually a
great one you want to sound crazy but
you want to actually be right compassion
for yourself of course it’s as important
as compassion for others when often I
get asked questions like people who did
something that they now realize realized
was deeply wrong in the past sometimes
people asked questions about they
brought up their children in a way that
they now realize was not very conscious
and so that they may have caused
suffering to their children or other
people find they have caused suffering
to loved ones and they now realize that
what they did was wrong and again I say
this is an example where you need to be
compassionate with yourself because no
human being can act beyond their level
of consciousness so that was your level
of consciousness at the time and you
could not go beyond that and again here
to make demands upon yourself up to a
point it might be a good thing to
butcher if you as long as you enjoy it
it’s a wonderful thing when the
enjoyment of what you’re doing is lost
then you have to be careful because
there you have to come to a stop and say
okay this there’s something here that’s
not right because I’m no longer enjoying
what I’m doing the
definition of values is their the
behaviors or principles that you
religiously adhere to within your
company annoy say religious I mean that
no amount of data will sway you and it’s
from from those principles and the
degree to which that you have the
courage to maintain your conviction
around those ideas is the degree to
which you’re going to be successful over
the long term but ultimately the biggest
thing and I spill still spend from a
third majority of my time on is hiring
nothing has the impact of getting the
right people around the table and you
can’t manage your way out of a bad team
and so some of the best advice I got was
from Paul Graham one of the investors in
stripe who talks a lot about unscalable
strategies for a user acquisition say
for example you helping each user
personally sure that won’t scale as we
grow to a very large strata size but
when I start up is just starting out it
really helps you have an advantage as a
small and limo company because when
you’re trying to differentiate when
you’re trying to do something different
there’s going to be that gut moment that
gut sense is this right is this not
right if you’re not if you’re not having
doubt you’re not pushing the boundaries
far enough you need to focus on
solutions not ideas all of us here are
really creative and we come up with
loads of ideas throughout the day and we
become really excited about that as a
dude we should start a company around
that but that’s when you actually go to
the other side where you talk to whoever
you you know find out what someone
actually a problem a problem that they
have installed that is is when you know
real value comes out I’m in meetings a
lot my calendar gets very full with
those and then at night after the kids
have gone to bed I’m on email a great
deal I get messages during the day
that’s my chance give long responses and
then over the weekend I send a lot of
mail as well as well I take two weeks a
year to just go off and read and think
where I’m not interrupted by work or
anything else I’m just solidly trying to
think about the future and people get to
send me things to read as part of that
so-called
so it’s nice mix of things about 25% of
the time that I’m out traveling around
meeting with customers Europe Asia and
that sort of helps me think okay do we
have the right priorities but what are
people responding well to and what would
they they like to see us do better go
talk to people who failed at what you’re
doing and who are no longer doing it
there always are those people so you
started to start up you know you look at
the history of your space I’m so
surprised how many people I talk to is
found to have no idea the history of
their own space and there’s some night
there’s some nice naivete to that in the
sense that like oh you’re gonna do that
differently and and there’s some truth
to that but like when you get down to to
making it work and now you’re into it
already you’ve kind of salus what you’re
doing you have some problems then I’d go
talk to all these people who failed
because you’ll uncover all sorts of
interesting things you could try because
if you build something for yourself if
you build something that you love that
you think is sufficiently epic if you
make something that you love there’s
probably not a billion people in the
world I’d love it as well
larger more established entities can’t
move as quickly as you can and success
and scale and size all fight against
this and I would encourage you for the
longest possible time as you sort of
start your own companies to look for
ways to stay agile whether it’s in
connection or whether it’s in design
this is our big advantage as a startup
is that we can actually get away with
doing this we can make this the core
part of why we’re doing business it’s so
hard I thought doing this research I
thought going into it there were
authentic people and inauthentic people
who I had I did not find any evidence of
that at all what I found is authenticity
zuv practice and you choose it every day
sometimes every hour of every day
and it’s a practice it’s not I just woke
up in ham authentic most startups that
fail do it ultimately because they did
not make some
that people wanted they made something
that you know that they thought people
would want but they were either in
denial about it about you know whether
it was actually any good or somebody
else came along and made something that
people wanted even more so it’s about
this movement forward now what you own
not your education or your pedigree not
pile of resources you might have at hand
not your network just going after this
thing and knowing that as you do that
you’ll find what you need you’ll make
your way over around and through and I
think the best entrepreneurs that I’ve
met are able to do that because they
have this strong vision and they know
that it’s worth it to keep moving
forward if you’re gonna have a breakout
startup you’ve really got to think about
how you can innovate on distribution not
just product right and the biggest
mistake I see these days that I see
brilliant startup founders who are
brilliant product people and they’ve
really thought about their product they
haven’t really thought about how they’re
gonna make it grow and then they launch
their product and it’s like crickets
chirping no one no one’s using it and
they’re kind of flummoxed as to what to
do they’ve never really spent time
thinking about it and they just kind of
assume that it if you build a good
product everyone’s gonna find it
yeah the reality is it’s a big web out
there and that’s not necessarily true
the beauty of failing is if you’re open
to admitting the failure and learning
from it you probably won’t fail again in
that one department and you’ll know what
to expect next time and that just makes
you stronger and and more accurate with
the risks that you take from the time I
was seven years old every Saturday I
would go for four hours of acting class
every Saturday whoa and I loved it I
just left it till the point where all
the kids graduated and went on to the
other stuff and I started doing adult
acting classes and then I was in the
commercial classes and then I loved like
the hair and makeup classes and just
everything I just couldn’t go enough and
you know what everybody wants to hear
what they already believe to be true and
so the last thing they want to hear is
an original idea that
contradicts their belief system so it’s
very hard to even bring that kind of
stuff up but those are the things those
are the only things things that you
believe that everybody around you
doesn’t believe when you’re right that
create real value in the world
everything else people already know
there’s no value created it’s just
business as usual so it’s so important
to think for yourself I do believe that
organizations human organizations are
inherently unstable they will fall over
and you have to work to keep them
upright but they fall slowly most people
don’t notice it they let their success
they blind them they don’t see if
following later the following takes
place low but the collapse is quick you
have to do constant assessment you have
to look for the hard truths it’s not
necessarily about the the exit or the
outcome it’s it’s about the journey so
it’s for me it’s just I think you just
you just need to enjoy that aspect of it
it’s you know because it’s not an always
an easy ride it’s sort of up to ups and
downs along the way but as long as
you’re personally fulfilled by that
experience and genuinely enjoy what you
do then it makes it worthwhile don’t
necessarily think that you have to have
the home run in the huge Apple Computer
on your first start I spent a long time
in my life with skills just building
little devices for fun for fun is one of
the key things because that drives you
to think and think and think and make it
better and better and better than you
ever would if you’re doing it for a
company build things at first for
yourself that you would want if you’re
not coming up with 10 ideas a day that’s
why I have this thing I’m not coming up
and I’m filling up this page every
single day then my idea muscle will
atrophy and I started this in 2001 and I
still do it every single day like you
have to come up with ideas every single
day or the idea muscle atrophies the
good news is after about six months of
doing that you’re like a machine like
people get surprised at how many ideas
you could just have any so many things
go wrong when you’re starting a company
and often I think people ask you know
what mistakes
should you avoid making and you know my
answer the question is don’t even bother
trying to avoid mistakes because you’re
gonna make tons of mistakes right and
the the important thing is actually
learning quickly from whatever mistakes
you make and not giving up right and I
mean there are things every single year
of Facebook’s existence that could have
killed us are made it so that it just
seemed like moving forward and making a
lot of progress just seemed intractable
but you just kind of bounce back and you
learn and nothing is impossible you just
have to kind of keep running through the
walls you will already know who you are
and that peace that peace that we’re
after lies somewhere beyond personality
your need for acceptance can make you
invisible in this world don’t let
anything stand in the way of the light
that shines through this form risk being
seen in all of your glory try and be
decisive I try and even if I don’t know
what the hell I’m doing I try to be
decisive because I think it’s very
comforting and reassuring and important
to the people that work with you to feel
that whoever is in charge knows what
they’re doing and knows what they’re
thinking and that if it’s a yes it’s a
yes and it’s a no it’s a no I mean I
don’t think of myself as a boss I mean I
I think of myself as someone who’s
giving direction and guidance and vice
versa you’re really trying to solve a
new problem in a different way you have
to come to problems with beginner’s mind
right not knowing something can be a
very powerful tool in to accomplishing
it because you don’t know that it’s not
possible that’s what doing a start-up is
not realizing that something is
impossible in doing it anyway how do you
think about making a decision when
everyone tells you this is a crazy idea
where do you get the internal strength
to do that well first of all I’d say I
actually think I think I feel feel fear
quite strongly so it’s not as though I
just have the absence of fear I’ve I
feel quite strongly
but there are times when something is
important enough you’ve leave it enough
that you do you do it in spite of fear
so speaking of important things like
people shouldn’t think III should think
well I feel fear about this and
therefore I shouldn’t do it it’s normal
to be to feel fear like you’d have to
definitely something mentally wrong you
shouldn’t feel fear so you just feel it
and let the importance of it drive you
to do it anyway yeah you know actually
something that can be helpful as
fatalism some degree if you just think
it’s just accept the probabilities then
that diminishes fear so I’m starting
SpaceX I thought the odds of success
were less than 10% and I just accepted
that actually probably I would just lose
lose everything but that maybe would
make some progress if we could just move
the ball forward even if we died maybe
some other company could pick up the
baton and move and keep moving forward
so that we’re still doing good yeah same
with Tesla I thought your odds of a car
company succeeding were extremely low so
just go and do it
try learn from it you you know you’ll
fail at some things that’s a learning
experience that you need so that you can
take that on to the next experience and
don’t let people who you may respect and
who you believe know what they’re
talking about don’t let them tell you it
can’t be done because often they will
tell you it can’t be done and it’s just
because they don’t have the courage to
try you
actually try to get to Bill Gates said
look I’ll help you get to Bill Gates but
you should also talk to Qi Liu and I
trusted him and I went in and I found
out that here’s this guy grew up in a
village outside of Shanghai China with
no running water no electricity his
village was so poor that people walked
around with deformities from
malnutrition but he was a smart guy and
he worked really hard and he got into a
good university and by the age of 27 he
was making the most money he’s ever made
in his life seven dollars a month now
fast forward 20 years later and he’s the
president of Microsoft he is
single-handedly one of the most
inspiring guys and the way he’s impacted
me the most he’s taught me a lot of
lessons he’s taught me not just about
success he’s taught me about
relationships about luck and its role
and about preparation and about
opportunity and about he’s taught me the
most crazy sleeping hacks and diets and
he’s an incredibly inspiring guy but the
biggest thing he taught me is that he
sent the most beautiful thing you would
think someone who grew up in those
circumstances would be very down on his
life and the cards he was outlook I am
very aware and I even told him in the
interview I’m aware I grew up in Los
Angeles in the United States with
running water and electricity in public
schools and when she Lou grew up with
his public schools for every 500
students there was one schoolteacher so
I’m sitting with Cheney says the most
incredible thing he goes every time I go
to a movie with my daughter I think oh
my god I’m in a movie theater and it’s
such an incredible way to live life and
for someone who’s been who was dealt
extremely hard carbs he said the most
beautiful thing he goes in someways life
God the universe or whatever you want to
call it is extremely fair everybody has
24 hours in a day
some might be born with a silver spoon
and some might be born in a village but
there’s an equalizer and we all have 24
hours so it doesn’t matter if you’re a
peasant or if you’re the president you
have 24 hours in a day and it’s up to
you how you’re gonna spend that so I
needed a mentor when I was growing up
and I’m thankful what’s up Gary
like I’m thankful for Gary he helped me
out in so many different ways even
currently today and so one day he says
hey Mike I want to introduce you to my
mentor oh great I didn’t know there was
such a thing as like a grand mentor like
am I ready and so you know this moment
as okay here we go
and it was this but to my surprise it
was this a small you know two three
bedroom two bedroom three bedroom two
bath home and it was well manicured and
it was this Pleasant like 78 82 year old
woman comes out I was just so pleasantly
surprised like okay this is gonna get
good because you just had that sense of
wise woman and it’s the setting that you
would imagine the shag carpet was a
little bit long the drapes were just a
little bit you know you know outdated
and so we sat at the table and she’s
pouring me tea and and she says you know
welcome and so interested to meet you
then we sat down and she said so tell me
what you’re about I said okay well well
the things that are most interests well
okay let me start this way and she
looked at me and she looked at my mentor
and she said thought you said he was
ready I am I I am ready wait wait no no
no I want to answer that and she grabbed
my tea and she said you know when you’re
ready sweetie I’d like to share this tea
with you mmm yeah so I was like super
embarrassed in that moment like I
thought I let my my mentor down and you
know it was like this really intense
experience Wow
how old were you I was at that point was
right after it was like 26
27 somewhere in that range and so I
didn’t know what to do and so it was
this awkward moment but I knew that I
had I was not prepared to even answer
the most basic question who are you and
so that’s where that’s where I just want
to anchor that because I think that that
captures what most of us feel like a lot
most people don’t feel like they know
who they are yeah and so I had this
dramatic moment for me but you know I
think it’s a really important process to
go through so let’s call a personal
philosophy but then let’s extract one
one level out from that the greatest and
the most influential people across the
globe are very clear about their
philosophy the greatest movers and
shakers and change makers are spiritual
leaders and political leaders for the
most part and now we’re starting to see
business leaders you know to do that
what was Confucius your philosophy what
was Buddha’s philosophy what was Jesus
philosophy they’re really clear Jesus
was and I want to oversimplify a
beautiful set of traditions but Jesus
was more about love and service Buddha
was more about you know that all people
are suffering and then so let’s work
through compassion to live with
loving-kindness what was Martin Luther
King Jr’s doctor King Jr’s was about
equality you know it Malcolm X equality
totally different tone totally different
approach mother Teresa Helen Keller what
was Helen Keller’s like okay I’m gonna
go for it hit me like I deserve to be
educated as well she changed the
educational system so the most
influential people were very clear why
because they lined up their thoughts
their words and actions so the thing
that matters most to them and that’s
what a philosophy is about everybody
already has one you have one I have one
whether we could articulate it at
knifepoint in a dark alley totally
different element right and so I think
that that’s a night nice litmus test
like could you get it out in front of a
deranged person who’s got a knife to
your throat like could you do you argue
that clear what you stand for and do you
have your personal philosophy so the
tactics there’s three ways to get clear
be around wise people and have
conversations about philosophy and
wisdom right be around them if you don’t
know one
go try to they’re rare but you know
maybe pray about it maybe talk about
like fine wise people in your lives or
become one okay
or you can watch videos of them I read
their books to get started you know yet
and yes start down that path nice nice
job
you know and there’s something about
being in their presence if you can that
is different horse you know horse okay
and there’s you know synagogues and
churches and there’s folks that you can
find these people and they don’t have to
be spiritual they can be secular as well
so be around wise people write journal
you know there’s something about forcing
words out of your native tongue all the
words of your native tongue to write
down the words and to have a forcing
function to choose words that matter
like there’s something about that and
then the last the third is and all of
them are equally important is listening
so mindfulness practice so listening to
it’s one of the most ancient mindfulness
traditions is asking yourself it’s a
it’s called a constant plate of
mindfulness ask yourself the question
Who am I and just go down that path Who
am I and you’ll learn you’ll learn some
ugly things you’ll learn some wonderful
things and you’ll really learn who you
are and so those are three ways I had
some dude stroke at me he wanted to do
some TV show and the pitch and then he
brought he introduced me to the
investors and the investors boss I’m
gonna be in the episodes and I’m like oh
this is gonna blow then I had these
other dudes who wanna do an MMA show
then I had these other dudes who will
there do a web series and they had the
dudes from the the social network yeah
you know it was all they had
nothing you know I’m saying that one day
I’m sitting you don’t want that’s it I’m
not doing no I’m not even going to
meetings with them I’m not even gonna
meet and if I don’t see a breakdown I’m
not doing I’m not doing that’s it
I’m sticking to my guns and I break down
as the listing of the yeah the next 90
days every week hi Joey we had this
thing we’re doing about mobsters no hey
Joey
we have how much nothing it’s just about
the
not not not not no forget it
got the fatty and you know what happened
Lee I held up a year and AD nothing
really big happen in my life and awesome
when they got a shot go core to be in a
De Niro movie so me holding out showed
me that that’s what you do sometimes
against your own because once you make a
law for yourself you have to stick to it
the first time you go away from that
you’re gonna get yes it always happens
the first time you d like if you say to
yourself you know what my rates gonna be
650 650 650 and some guy comes see well
how about 6 that’s the day you give I’m
gonna give you 6 on a Sunday you know
like okay I take the six of a Sunday buy
them that’s the day you give anything
that changes your original train of
thought
I’m only gonna go as far as you think
you’re worthy hmm I can push you can
push you can have the greatest product
but if you don’t feel worthy you will
work hard to sabotage that relationship
you were right you don’t know you’re
doing you think these are the things I
need and you’re driving that guy away
you’re driving that woman away because
your self-worth says they weren’t gonna
stay forever anyway or self-worth around
money you have a cat that you feel like
you’re worthy of a million dollars you
will always get to 999 thousand and you
will stop because your self-worth says
it what’s a good exercise or process
that we can follow on a daily basis
maybe something simple to enhance our
enrichment absolutely worthiness
absolutely I did this for six months
every single day right after I brush my
teeth and it’s the ICU exercise and you
get in the mirror now it’s not
necessarily simple because because you
deal with yourself of course and as
complicated as you are will be the
degree Organix of the mechanics are very
simple yes I appreciate that distinction
um you get in the mirror and you
complete three different sentences you
want to write this down the first
sentence you look at yourself and you
say your name so you would say Louis and
you complete this is I’m proud that you
and find seven different things every
day
elevate yourself for seven different
each day you can do the same thing you
did the day before
but each they do seven different things
to be proud of the second sentence is
gonna knock you down a little bit it’s
gonna come from your gut Louis I forgive
you for and cut the shackles to blame
shame guilt regret and anger in that
sentence you cut those five shackles not
the first day maybe not the third day
but by the 21st day by the thirteenth
day you’ll feel some relief so Louis I
forgive you for and go back five years
15 years 20 years do that forgive you
fit for that thing don’t nobody know
about but you go ahead and cut those
shackles because if you can still think
about it is still in your energy space
and then the third sentence is Louis I
commit to you that before you make a
commitment to anybody else throughout
your day you make seven commitments to
you so the first sentence I’m proud that
you you’re celebrating yourself first we
are under celebrated as a as a society
we look for acknowledgement they enter
they interviewed a hundred executives
that all made over a quarter of a
million dollars and said would you like
a five percent raise next year or would
you rather be told thank you more often
100 percent 100 percent said keep your
money I’d rather hear thank you so we’re
under celebrated but first celebrate you
be the example when I was on Oprah when
she said what do you do I said I
recognize that I’m the example of how
the rest of the world is supposed to
treat me and it’s my job to give the
world the best example of how I like to
be treated
so celebrate yourself forgive yourself
cut the shackles and then commit to
yourself before you commit to anyone
else that right there powerful that
right there will begin to fill your cup
up mmm to get to your sausage I love
that I’ve done over 600 hours of
television okay non-stop that even
counting the movies they ain’t even
counting over 60 major films let me tell
you something life begins and I look I’m
not even done I’m designing furniture
right now I’m my own furniture line out
right now and look I don’t even know
what I’ll be doing let me sit and see
the thing is you gotta know who’s
Ballack valuing you when NFL stopped
valuing me I was done when Hollywood
stops valuing me I’m done you cannot let
people treat you like you are not
valuable and then I’ll move on to the
next thing
they’re painting on the corner I only go
where I’m invited I’ll only go where I’m
valued and that’s it that’s it when
you’ve done valuing me I’m out but the
problem is these dangling carrots people
got they got people running around hey
take your clothes off do some crazies
man and they want your dangling carrots
I’m like no I do it when you see me
doing anything I’m doing I wanted to do
it in fact it’s about thing you know you
see Old Spice I came up with that I
think you know if you know why you’re
doing something and what it is that
you’re trying to get then it’s a
question of being very very open to
failure and I’m and just you know trying
again and again and again until you get
it and what a leaders look like first
and foremost leaders always have a heard
people always like following leaders
maybe it’s their charisma maybe it’s
their personality maybe it’s because
they’re so in belief of what they say
that you have the ability to convince
people to buy into your vision not just
for a paycheck it’s something more than
that because great leaders they don’t
only have a herd they fight for their
herd and the herd knows that that’s your
job as entrepreneurs these are not
employees that do your bidding
these are partners that you should bring
into your space and you should be
treated like that and they should be
treated like that with respect and with
dignity values are who you are right you
don’t have personal values professional
values it’s really what you stand for
and again there’s no black and white
answer here there’s no right or wrong
value but if you’re building a team or
building an organization you want to
understand your identity and then it
mostly impacts hiring it impacts the way
that you decide to add people to your
team otherwise you can become very very
split in terms of what your mission is
we’re resistant of having the tough
conversations in our female
relationships and our relationships in
general and life with our parents
whatever it is because we’re so we’re
not used to that spike in emotions
because it feels like it’s this what is
this tidal wave coming out into the
world feeling
but what happens is and I just had one
of the toughest conversations in my life
with my mother like two weeks ago and
it’s this spike right it’s like I had to
do the Mel Robbins like five four three
two one no lie like I was like five four
three two one dial or you’re never doing
this I was like I wanted to throw up so
it’s a tidal wave but what happens is
the second you start getting it out
it’s literally 30 seconds to a minute it
clears and you’re on the other side it
feels so much better when you’re done so
much better this way even 30 seconds in
though so it’s just that first spike of
beforehand that it’s like all the
resistance is right here right now you
guys if we just if we would start having
these tough conversations more often
your whole life changes mm-hmm like your
entire life changes and things just
start coming to you because it’s all
about understanding that we are all so
different
we’re bringing in a million different
things from our past and we’re bringing
it into this moment right now and we
don’t even know it like everything I’m
perceiving about you is because of what
I’ve perceived from my past and it’s not
until I realized how I feel if some
things are blocked with me that you
would ever even know ever even know that
you know maybe maybe tall men scare me
sure what a women it does and I’m just
being honest yeah no they don’t scare me
but I’m just saying like anything simple
like that that are bringing into the
moment and there’s so many things you
know layers that we don’t even realize
we’re showing up as or we’re caring or
caring with us that is blocking yeah a
connection if you’re not speaking the
idea of having tough conversations you
know this reflects even in business for
all of us it’s like we’re scared to have
these tough conversations we’re scared
to hurt people we’re scared to say how
we feel because we could really you know
what if we’re not friends anymore we
think that we’re supposed to have these
friends and they’re supposed to be our
life long friends and that’s a huge that
is a huge different covering belief as
well cause any gonna hold on to or
something that maybe is 10 20 years
outdated I don’t know long serves either
of you yes I mean I can’t tell you the
amount of women who are like yeah but
these are the women who I grew up with
and I was in a sorority with him like
you’re never gonna move forward you’re
carrying all of them back here and
you’re evolving and becoming a new
person like
every single day if we’re doing it right
we should have someone say to us you
know you’ve changed yeah oh yeah I’m
growing I don’t want to become a
different person and I think we’re
dragging all of these people behind us
we’re dragging all of these stories and
all of this stuff and we’re showing up
and we’re exhausted and we’re trying to
meet each other and like oh my god
that’s in the women who are maybe doing
the work or who are really ready to
connect if you’re carrying all that
they’re not ready to connect with all of
that either
you didn’t go to films ago you know what
I’m good at it in couldn’t get in they
looked at your early work and said those
guys no no this is all over so were you
watching other movies do I’ve always
watched movies I mean it always been a
student of films and I think it was
Stanley Kubrick who basically said if
you want to learn how to make a villain
just make a film and that was sort of my
approach I started making films when I
was 7 years old
on super 8 you know and I’ve never
really stopped and then my first feature
following you know was made on 16mm with
friends who just did it on the weekends
and put it together pretty cheap very
cheap I mean yeah all told about $6,000
variant you went to Harvard and you’re
dropped out have you ever thought how
your life could be better off if you had
gotten your Harvard degree well I I’m a
weird dropout because I take college
courses all the time I love learning
company courses and things so I love
being a student and there were smart
people around and you know they fed you
and they gave you these nice grades that
made you feel smart so I I feel it was
unfortunate that I didn’t get to stay
there but I don’t think I missed any
knowledge because you know whatever I
needed to learn I would I was still in a
learning mode everybody thought we were
crazy we probably were crazy but having
a dream like that that resonates with
people changing the world achieving
something big it turns out that’s what
pulls you through the hard times every
company has a heart as hard times every
company has setbacks and it’s having
that that that mountain in the distance
that you’re trying to scale that is what
gets everybody through really great
companies just takes a while and it’s
good to not try to do it too fast it’s
really really really good to be
ambitious obviously but it’s not that
great to be too hasty but whatever you
do somebody can do it better you have to
bring your a-game in every single day
there’s nothing unique about any one
individual what’s unique is their
passion their ability to execute to meet
targets and exceed them the minute you
lose that ability in capitalism you’re
gone it’s a fair trade the engine that
makes you rich can take it all away from
you there are no guarantees I think
that’s incredibly important all right so
going into the darkness I think
everybody is motivated by two different
things one you have the beautiful things
in your life the things that are going
well the things that you’re grateful for
the things you’re moving towards instead
of a way you have a compelling vision of
your future it’s something that you’re
very excited about all of those things
are the beautiful things now the flip
side of that equation are the things
that it’s people that doubt you its
haters it’s things you’re moving away
from
it’s fear-based things it’s something
that you absolutely refuse to let happen
so one that is incredibly potent to me
are the people that want to see me fail
so it’s very different than people who
just think you’re going to fail actually
don’t have a lot of aggression towards
people like that but people that want me
to fail those people I have a lot of
aggression for and I find in very acute
moments the darkness serves you better
in very acute moments now the light the
things you’re moving towards the things
that are beautiful the things that
you’re grateful for all of that is the
only winning strategy long-term
because the darkness becomes corrosive
you start to become bitter you start to
be angry you stop being optimistic you
stop seeing things in a way that’s
empowering and positive and I mean just
thinking about the deep limbic system
when it gets inflamed you perceive
things as negative
I think negativity stops people from
making progress there’s a whole host of
neurological reasons and the sort of
mindset reasons why I think that being
negative over the long run becomes very
very detrimental and hold you back but
from an acute standpoint they’ve done
Studies on this if you want someone to
be able to endure more pain the surest
way to get people to endure more pain is
to let them get angry let them be
aggressive and in doing that people are
able to withstand in the clinical trials
I’ll say that’s probably more than this
but in clinical trials they’re able to
withstand 30% more pain so just straight
being able to take more pain anger and
aggression lets you do 30% more so
that’s why I think in acute ways and
short-term bursts that the darkness will
serve you you kind of get lost in the
process of day-to-day you know grinding
it out working pulling on eyes if you
have to you know that this is just about
not losing vision and not losing sight
of what you’re what you’re trying to
accomplish no matter what hurdles you
have to go through so I think that kind
of relates to whatever you’re doing
whatever you know major you’ve chosen
what you’re interested in so for me and
basketball and it’s about you know
visual
whether you write it down and put it on
the wall do something with what your
goals are and get lost in the process of
the day-to-day grind day to day getting
better every single day asking questions
aligning yourself with people that have
been through it before there that are
experienced and leaning on that advice
and just trying to outwork the next
person and that’s the biggest thing when
you start with a lot of stress and fear
and your job is to transform that into
self-confidence and to give you kind of
that you know the ability to say I have
clarity I trust myself I have a feeling
for my vision I can see that happening I
work with entrepreneurs all the time
that kind of shift from you know anxiety
to trust that’s the most important thing
they can go through be lucky I think
when I give that advice be lucky it’s a
little bit glib but I think there’s also
looking out for those opportunities and
being conscious and being aware and
looking for opportunities to be lucky
because you can definitely put yourself
in a position where luck isn’t gonna
make any difference
somebody said to you you’ll have or
you’ll be as successful as you are now
what have you had said back then I
[Music]
believe you that’s what I would have
said because I they believed I believed
anything I had very few people who told
me that I had a small small small group
of people that would tell me something
like that order than that it was just me
telling myself yeah so if someone came
up to me and told me that all the way
back then I’d say you’re damn right his
acting turned out to be all that you
wanted it to be it’s incredible it’s
incredible you know I I never knew that
I could do it as a career I never knew I
it was the first memory that I had it’s
the first thing I can think of as saying
I want to be an actor to my parents and
if I hadn’t lived in Los Angeles and
been in such close proximity to sort of
the mecca
of moviemaking if I didn’t have parents
that said okay we’ll drive you to
auditions we didn’t have the economic
means to you know move camp from Idaho
to Los Angeles because some snotty
ten-year-old kids as a Latina we did it
after school I got to go on auditions
but it was always and I’ve said this
before it felt like an elite group of
people and it felt like I would never
belong to them so once I got the
opportunity to to for example get the
movie this boy’s life with Robert De
Niro I said Wow
now I’m able to not be able to steer the
course of my career I might be able to
have a career similar to these guys that
I’m you know I so admire and that I knew
what 15 years old was the biggest gift
in the world and that that’s that’s
never left me you know I’ve never I’ve
never that that thirst or that hunger
for wanting to give one great
performance that I’m truly satisfied
with or being one movie that I said I
love this film is something that I don’t
know will ever be quenched I don’t know
and that’s I think that that’s a good
thing because it keeps making it keeps
pushing you you know constantly
there’s a lot of conventional wisdom out
there built up over time and built
through all the learnings from all the
companies and this may be fully
applicable to most of the companies out
there but before it’s applied to your
organization I highly recommend that you
question it because it could be
absolutely fatal for your success and so
I think when you are starting a new
business you you don’t want to go after
giant markets you want to go after small
markets and you want to take over those
markets quickly what this all comes down
to is doing something exceptional for
your users whether it’s in community the
hardest thing to do is start you have
all these ideas and everyone has an idea
but it’s really about executing the idea
and building the idea and attracting
other people to help you work on the
idea that is the biggest challenge but
the way to begin is to get the idea out
of your head draw it out you know talk
about it program it if you’re a
programmer or make it if you’re building
something and I find even with myself
that it’s really hard to do a Minimum
Viable Product this minimum that you’re
constantly thinking no no it really has
to have this other partner it really has
to have this and then you over build and
then you have to unbilled and D build
which is very disappointing so doing a
Minimum Viable Product is really
important and it’s even more minimum
than you think it is and so when we’re
coming up with ideas
you know we always ask ourselves what
kind of new market is this creating and
then also what what part of my day and
and what problem is it solving and so
I’ve gone as far as taking an entire
catalogue of my day from the moment I
like open my eyes and writing down every
single thing I do and then asking myself
like is there something here and so it’s
not just about doing focus groups it’s
not just about you know double-checking
your vision it really is about
integrating this concept of testing our
ideas rigorously throughout the product
development process out the marketing
process even as we scale up so when we
see a kid with a lemonade stand it’s
different than when we see a vending
machine selling lemonade even if it’s
exactly the same product because the
story around it is what people are
paying for so when I meet small business
people all I ask them is not what’s
their balance sheet but what’s their
story why should I pick you why do I
care about what you’re doing and if you
start giving me all this inside baseball
statistics about why you’re 2 percent
better than some other competitor I’m
already glazed over because that’s not
part of the way I see the world a lot of
times I’ll be the tours at Mile Run or
something like that and I’m all jacked
up body’s broken mines broken spirits
broken I started to say what if I can
pull this off
when I first walked into the Navy SEAL
recruiters office he looked at me and
said only been 35 African Americans in
70 years make it through you know I said
to myself what if I can be the 36 it’s
the what if I can pull off a miracle
what if I can become someone that no one
thinks I can be and just that just means
talking about that
I haven’t here growing up on my arms
because it makes me just like what if I
can be that guy that people who called
nigger and this and that and now I’m
speaking at tom ferry event you can’t
ever sort of balance two completely
contradictory things as a means of
hedging you have to decide what are you
going to believe in and put all of your
energy behind that and that’s that’s the
those are the kinds of strategic
decisions and trade-offs that you make
every day is
entrepreneur and it’s important that you
create the level of clarity and
conviction to go after an opportunity
that isn’t hedging you know lots of
different ideas or lots of different
approaches because that’s the surest way
that you’ll never be good at sort of
anything once you have the passionate
thing that you’re passionate about
now you can look at other people other
entities or other things or works of art
and you can draw things from that to
help you be better at what you do
by looking for those common denominators
I don’t even know how do I prepare ever
how do I prepare how do I study how do I
view the game how do you build your game
and my response is much like the way he
builds products and you think
sequentially oh yeah you look at this
the end result of what you want to
create but in order to create that
there’s so many other little things that
go into this massive entity that no
device it’s no different than building
my basketball you start with where you
want your game to be what would make
your game most unstoppable or hard to
deal with and now you work backwards
from there and you start building in one
piece at a time one move at a time one
counter there’s a lot of similarities
there a rule of thumb is to only worry
about the next order of magnitude so
when you have 100 users worry about what
the company looks like can it survive to
a thousand a thousand ten thousand and
so on and so forth if you’re worrying
about the millionth user and their
experience and how your technology is
going to scale when you have a hundred
users you’re you’re pointed in the wrong
direction but we realized it pays to be
a cockroach and by that I mean it pays
just to not stop and just to not die
like we thought you know everything
along the way and tried to kill us
right like all of our friends were like
startups are dumb you’re dumb your ideas
are dumb and we kind of just looked at
all them and said whatever and built
codecademy so it pays not to quit today
you should think okay my co-founders do
we do we cover a lot of surface area do
we have different skill sets and is that
somebody that that I trust fundamentally
and that’s those are really really
really important questions to ask
yourself because if so they can be
really strong
nation to go forward if you’re gonna
start your own thing you know maybe you
have a grand grand vision of like all
the different features it’s gonna have
and all the different you know revenue
lines you’re gonna do and you know keep
keep that vision but do one piece of
that first and do it really really
really well it’s so much better to do a
few things well then many things poorly
we get to create any company we want
right we get to create the reason for
its existence we get to create the rules
the game and who we hire and how we hire
them and who can stay and who can’t stay
right it’s it’s beautiful and so I just
would encourage everyone that as we all
contemplate life to try to question the
assumptions that we live by and the
default options that are given to us and
expand our thinking to wonder what we
really can do with our lives what I see
right now is people wrap up their sense
of success and identity with their
prowess and fundraising and comparing
themselves against how their peers are
doing I think that’s really the wrong
way to look at things and it leads to
kind of non optimal outcomes for
instance I don’t know if the valuations
that companies are getting today is
necessarily healthy for the company
themselves and for us again you know our
inability to raise capital actually
forced us to be very disciplined in how
we think about the operational metrics
of the company and that’s allowed us to
you know be pretty successful but what
you really need to do is think about
what is the smallest possible test that
I can run for this idea for this concept
for this theory get it out there and get
customers using it because your
customers are gonna be the ones to tell
you if it’s really working or not try to
do something that you would want to do
anyway whether it’s it doesn’t
necessarily have to be
very successful business because when
you do decide to become an entrepreneur
and start a business chances are it’s
not gonna do it’s not gonna become like
a multi-million dollar business so at
least do something that you love in the
beginning so that even if it fails you’d
still enjoy it I think great
entrepreneurs must have the curiosity to
to kind of metaphorically see around the
corner what’s coming what can I
anticipate that other people don’t see
and then you must have the courage of
your convictions to execute the strategy
you want an idea about what you can say
I know it sounds like a bad idea but
here’s specifically why it’s actually a
great one you want to sound crazy but
you want to actually be right compassion
for yourself of course it’s as important
as compassion for others when often I
get asked questions like people who did
something that they now realize realized
was deeply wrong in the past sometimes
people asked questions about they
brought up their children in a way that
they now realize was not very conscious
and so that they may have caused
suffering to their children or other
people find they have caused suffering
to loved ones and they now realize that
what they did was wrong and again I say
this is an example where you need to be
compassionate with yourself because no
human being can act beyond their level
of consciousness so that was your level
of consciousness at the time and you
could not go beyond that and again here
to make demands upon yourself up to a
point it might be a good thing to
butcher if you as long as you enjoy it
it’s a wonderful thing when the
enjoyment of what you’re doing is lost
then you have to be careful because
there you have to come to a stop and say
okay this there’s something here that’s
not right because I’m no longer enjoying
what I’m doing the
definition of values is their the
behaviors or principles that you
religiously adhere to within your
company annoy say religious I mean that
no amount of data will sway you and it’s
from from those principles and the
degree to which that you have the
courage to maintain your conviction
around those ideas is the degree to
which you’re going to be successful over
the long term but ultimately the biggest
thing and I spill still spend from a
third majority of my time on is hiring
nothing has the impact of getting the
right people around the table and you
can’t manage your way out of a bad team
and so some of the best advice I got was
from Paul Graham one of the investors in
stripe who talks a lot about unscalable
strategies for a user acquisition say
for example you helping each user
personally sure that won’t scale as we
grow to a very large strata size but
when I start up is just starting out it
really helps you have an advantage as a
small and limo company because when
you’re trying to differentiate when
you’re trying to do something different
there’s going to be that gut moment that
gut sense is this right is this not
right if you’re not if you’re not having
doubt you’re not pushing the boundaries
far enough you need to focus on
solutions not ideas all of us here are
really creative and we come up with
loads of ideas throughout the day and we
become really excited about that as a
dude we should start a company around
that but that’s when you actually go to
the other side where you talk to whoever
you you know find out what someone
actually a problem a problem that they
have installed that is is when you know
real value comes out I’m in meetings a
lot my calendar gets very full with
those and then at night after the kids
have gone to bed I’m on email a great
deal I get messages during the day
that’s my chance give long responses and
then over the weekend I send a lot of
mail as well as well I take two weeks a
year to just go off and read and think
where I’m not interrupted by work or
anything else I’m just solidly trying to
think about the future and people get to
send me things to read as part of that
so-called
so it’s nice mix of things about 25% of
the time that I’m out traveling around
meeting with customers Europe Asia and
that sort of helps me think okay do we
have the right priorities but what are
people responding well to and what would
they they like to see us do better go
talk to people who failed at what you’re
doing and who are no longer doing it
there always are those people so you
started to start up you know you look at
the history of your space I’m so
surprised how many people I talk to is
found to have no idea the history of
their own space and there’s some night
there’s some nice naivete to that in the
sense that like oh you’re gonna do that
differently and and there’s some truth
to that but like when you get down to to
making it work and now you’re into it
already you’ve kind of salus what you’re
doing you have some problems then I’d go
talk to all these people who failed
because you’ll uncover all sorts of
interesting things you could try because
if you build something for yourself if
you build something that you love that
you think is sufficiently epic if you
make something that you love there’s
probably not a billion people in the
world I’d love it as well
larger more established entities can’t
move as quickly as you can and success
and scale and size all fight against
this and I would encourage you for the
longest possible time as you sort of
start your own companies to look for
ways to stay agile whether it’s in
connection or whether it’s in design
this is our big advantage as a startup
is that we can actually get away with
doing this we can make this the core
part of why we’re doing business it’s so
hard I thought doing this research I
thought going into it there were
authentic people and inauthentic people
who I had I did not find any evidence of
that at all what I found is authenticity
zuv practice and you choose it every day
sometimes every hour of every day
and it’s a practice it’s not I just woke
up in ham authentic most startups that
fail do it ultimately because they did
not make some
that people wanted they made something
that you know that they thought people
would want but they were either in
denial about it about you know whether
it was actually any good or somebody
else came along and made something that
people wanted even more so it’s about
this movement forward now what you own
not your education or your pedigree not
pile of resources you might have at hand
not your network just going after this
thing and knowing that as you do that
you’ll find what you need you’ll make
your way over around and through and I
think the best entrepreneurs that I’ve
met are able to do that because they
have this strong vision and they know
that it’s worth it to keep moving
forward if you’re gonna have a breakout
startup you’ve really got to think about
how you can innovate on distribution not
just product right and the biggest
mistake I see these days that I see
brilliant startup founders who are
brilliant product people and they’ve
really thought about their product they
haven’t really thought about how they’re
gonna make it grow and then they launch
their product and it’s like crickets
chirping no one no one’s using it and
they’re kind of flummoxed as to what to
do they’ve never really spent time
thinking about it and they just kind of
assume that it if you build a good
product everyone’s gonna find it
yeah the reality is it’s a big web out
there and that’s not necessarily true
the beauty of failing is if you’re open
to admitting the failure and learning
from it you probably won’t fail again in
that one department and you’ll know what
to expect next time and that just makes
you stronger and and more accurate with
the risks that you take from the time I
was seven years old every Saturday I
would go for four hours of acting class
every Saturday whoa and I loved it I
just left it till the point where all
the kids graduated and went on to the
other stuff and I started doing adult
acting classes and then I was in the
commercial classes and then I loved like
the hair and makeup classes and just
everything I just couldn’t go enough and
you know what everybody wants to hear
what they already believe to be true and
so the last thing they want to hear is
an original idea that
contradicts their belief system so it’s
very hard to even bring that kind of
stuff up but those are the things those
are the only things things that you
believe that everybody around you
doesn’t believe when you’re right that
create real value in the world
everything else people already know
there’s no value created it’s just
business as usual so it’s so important
to think for yourself I do believe that
organizations human organizations are
inherently unstable they will fall over
and you have to work to keep them
upright but they fall slowly most people
don’t notice it they let their success
they blind them they don’t see if
following later the following takes
place low but the collapse is quick you
have to do constant assessment you have
to look for the hard truths it’s not
necessarily about the the exit or the
outcome it’s it’s about the journey so
it’s for me it’s just I think you just
you just need to enjoy that aspect of it
it’s you know because it’s not an always
an easy ride it’s sort of up to ups and
downs along the way but as long as
you’re personally fulfilled by that
experience and genuinely enjoy what you
do then it makes it worthwhile don’t
necessarily think that you have to have
the home run in the huge Apple Computer
on your first start I spent a long time
in my life with skills just building
little devices for fun for fun is one of
the key things because that drives you
to think and think and think and make it
better and better and better than you
ever would if you’re doing it for a
company build things at first for
yourself that you would want if you’re
not coming up with 10 ideas a day that’s
why I have this thing I’m not coming up
and I’m filling up this page every
single day then my idea muscle will
atrophy and I started this in 2001 and I
still do it every single day like you
have to come up with ideas every single
day or the idea muscle atrophies the
good news is after about six months of
doing that you’re like a machine like
people get surprised at how many ideas
you could just have any so many things
go wrong when you’re starting a company
and often I think people ask you know
what mistakes
should you avoid making and you know my
answer the question is don’t even bother
trying to avoid mistakes because you’re
gonna make tons of mistakes right and
the the important thing is actually
learning quickly from whatever mistakes
you make and not giving up right and I
mean there are things every single year
of Facebook’s existence that could have
killed us are made it so that it just
seemed like moving forward and making a
lot of progress just seemed intractable
but you just kind of bounce back and you
learn and nothing is impossible you just
have to kind of keep running through the
walls you will already know who you are
and that peace that peace that we’re
after lies somewhere beyond personality
your need for acceptance can make you
invisible in this world don’t let
anything stand in the way of the light
that shines through this form risk being
seen in all of your glory try and be
decisive I try and even if I don’t know
what the hell I’m doing I try to be
decisive because I think it’s very
comforting and reassuring and important
to the people that work with you to feel
that whoever is in charge knows what
they’re doing and knows what they’re
thinking and that if it’s a yes it’s a
yes and it’s a no it’s a no I mean I
don’t think of myself as a boss I mean I
I think of myself as someone who’s
giving direction and guidance and vice
versa you’re really trying to solve a
new problem in a different way you have
to come to problems with beginner’s mind
right not knowing something can be a
very powerful tool in to accomplishing
it because you don’t know that it’s not
possible that’s what doing a start-up is
not realizing that something is
impossible in doing it anyway how do you
think about making a decision when
everyone tells you this is a crazy idea
where do you get the internal strength
to do that well first of all I’d say I
actually think I think I feel feel fear
quite strongly so it’s not as though I
just have the absence of fear I’ve I
feel quite strongly
but there are times when something is
important enough you’ve leave it enough
that you do you do it in spite of fear
so speaking of important things like
people shouldn’t think III should think
well I feel fear about this and
therefore I shouldn’t do it it’s normal
to be to feel fear like you’d have to
definitely something mentally wrong you
shouldn’t feel fear so you just feel it
and let the importance of it drive you
to do it anyway yeah you know actually
something that can be helpful as
fatalism some degree if you just think
it’s just accept the probabilities then
that diminishes fear so I’m starting
SpaceX I thought the odds of success
were less than 10% and I just accepted
that actually probably I would just lose
lose everything but that maybe would
make some progress if we could just move
the ball forward even if we died maybe
some other company could pick up the
baton and move and keep moving forward
so that we’re still doing good yeah same
with Tesla I thought your odds of a car
company succeeding were extremely low so
just go and do it
try learn from it you you know you’ll
fail at some things that’s a learning
experience that you need so that you can
take that on to the next experience and
don’t let people who you may respect and
who you believe know what they’re
talking about don’t let them tell you it
can’t be done because often they will
tell you it can’t be done and it’s just
because they don’t have the courage to
try you
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