you don’t tell your kid here’s an
impossible thing why don’t you go out
and fail you say here’s something worth
going after here’s a step you could take
that would push you beyond where you are
but that you also have a reasonably high
probability of succeeding at right they
called that within a time frame it’s in
some timeframe that’s the other thing
you have to parameterize it with regards
to time frame that’s right and that puts
you in the zone of proximal development
and that’s that’s a concept that was
generated by a guy named Vygotsky he was
a Russian developmental psychologist and
the smart one that’s where the idea of
the zone comes from to be in the zone
and when you’re in the zone you’re
expanding your skills in a manner that’s
intrinsically rewarding because you’re
succeeding and so you want to set if
you’re good to yourself you think okay I
need to set a goal but I need to set a
goal that someone is stupid and useless
as me could probably attain if they put
some effort into it and then you got it
then you’ve got it perfectly because
it’s not so high that it’s grandiose or
impossible that you fail necessarily and
then justify your bitterness it’s like
well I couldn’t do it well done because
that happens to Pete how much all the
time yeah it’s like this all the time
you know it’s like it’s yes exactly well
I set a goal and I didn’t attain it so
I’m not gonna set any more goal right
it’s like no you set a goal that was
inappropriate for the time frame that’s
right you didn’t calibrate it properly
and and you’re playing a trick on
yourself because you wanted to fail so
that you could justify not having to try
that’s why I’ve being a victim mmm which
isn’t in helpful you’re still gonna be a
victim there’s no way out of that man so
you know because life is this life is a
challenge that in some sense can’t be
surmounted so there’s no way out of your
problem but there are certainly proper
ways of dealing with it
when you begin to understand and
acknowledge your fear and you go forth
anyhow you go forth in a spirit and a
knowing that there’s a way that you can
begin to handle this there’s a way out
here somewhere there’s a solution what
it is that you’re seeking that you’ll
have the capacity to whatever comes up
to handle it to face it and rather than
feeling powerless you begin to feel
powerful
see when all of the major downsizings
that are taking place around this
country there are a lot of people who
are biting their fingers and fear that
they might lose their jobs but there are
few people who have decided within
themselves I’m going to make you some
people aren’t waiting to be cut some
people are moving on their own because
they feel within themselves I’ve got
what it takes to make it they’re not
afraid about tomorrow because of how
they see themselves because of what they
feel that they deserve
because of what they feel that they can
create for themselves because these
people have decided as they look at the
future as they look at themselves
there’s a way where there’s a will
there’s a way for me to begin to create
a way out of no way and when you have
that kind of consciousness when you have
that kind of spirit nothing can stop you
nothing what would your life be like as
you look toward the future if you
decided I’m not going to allow my fears
to stop me what would your life be like
what would your future be like if you
decided to to want that which you desire
so strongly that it prepares you past
your fears that you experience the fear
as the one book says feel the fear and
do it anyway what would your life be
like and I’m saying to you that all of
us who have been in tuned by fear have
the capacity to resurrect ourselves and
and you have is it easy no it’s not easy
can I do it yes what’s one of the ways
to get started some of us need somebody
to hold our hands sometimes we need
somebody to help us out be willing to
say I don’t know be willing to reach out
be willing to get some assistance the
take you to the next level if I could
count the amount of times I was told no
it would amount to I mean just there was
way too many times
and it made being told yes that much
better and so I created the mentality in
my head of taking know as no not right
now not no this isn’t for you so no
didn’t have a period it had a dot dot
dot and so if I had given up after the
first time I had said no I wouldn’t be
here and so it’s just you know not
letting someone dictate your future if
you believe in something so strongly and
you want to do something so strongly
who’s gonna tell you to not do it so
that was adapting that kind of allowed
me to take a lot of pressure off how can
you help the human race happen you help
the human race the human species
progress I’m not joking either this is
something I think we all have to be
aware of at the end of the day the human
animals are social animal and our very
survival depends on our ability to form
communities to form cultures
what’s a community what’s a culture it’s
a group of people with a common set of
values and beliefs right what’s a
country it’s a group of people with a
common set of values and beliefs what’s
a company that should be a group of
people with a common set of values and
beliefs when we’re surrounded by people
who believe what we believe something
remarkable happens Trust emerges and
make no mistake of it trust as a feeling
a distinctly human feeling you know we
all have friends we’re total screw-ups
and yet we still trust them right
Trust is not a check with simply doing
everything you say you’re going to do
doesn’t that much does not mean people
will inherently trust you it just means
you’re reliable
we need trust right we need trust when
we’re surrounded by people who believe
what we believe and Trust starts to
emerge and we trust them and they trust
us we’re more willing to take risks
we’re more willing to experiment which
requires failure we’re more willing to
explore and go somewhere with that no
one has ever gone before
with the confidence that if we fail if
we trip over if we turn our backs that
those within our community those who we
trust and who trust us will look after
us while we’re gone will pick us up when
we fall over will help us when we’re
hurt our very survival depends on it
we’re not good at everything we’re not
good by ourselves you know if I send you
out to go fight a saber-toothed tiger by
yourself odds are Tiger one you zero
it’s not gonna go very well but if you
go out as a group we’re pretty damn
amazing and the reason is is because we
all have our strengths and we all of our
certain weaknesses and the goal is not
to fix your weaknesses the goal is to
amplify your strengths and surround
yourself with the people who can do what
you can’t do but it’s not just based on
skills and an application and experience
it’s based on what you believe it’s
based on what you believe you see simply
being good at something and having
somebody else being good what you’re no
good at does not mean you will trust
each other trust the sense of trust
comes from the sense of common values
and common beliefs that improve it how
many of you from New York
okay bunch of you are you friends with
everybody in New York why not why not
but when you go to Los Angeles and you
meet someone from New York you’re like
hey I’m from New York and you’re best
friends right and when you go to France
you there you are in the Paris Metro
minding your own business and you hear
an American accent behind you and you
turn around and say hey where’re you
from
they say Los Angeles you’re like hey I’m
from New York and you’re best friends
because when you’re surrounded by people
who don’t believe what you believe when
you’re in a strange environment where
you don’t feel comfortable you look for
anyone who may share some of
same values and bleeds that you have and
you start to form a very wheat real and
very intense bond with them simply
because you know that they have a basic
understanding of how you grew up of the
things that you care about of the life
that you live back home well the same is
true when we go to work do we want to go
to work with people who understand us
who believe what we believe who have a
similar view of the world that has
nothing to do with their opinions and
the differences that we share
that’s good that’s called diversity
that’s called advantages to problem
solving which is we can all look at the
same thing from a different angle and
come up with solutions what I’m talking
about is why should you help each other
in the first place what are you in
pursuit of now the question is is what
creates that sense of values and beliefs
what creates that sense of trust right
our very human instinct we know how to
find people who believe what we believe
our survival depends on it we’re
biologically gifted with this idea if I
ask you to go out in the street and find
all the people who believe what you
believe you know exactly what to do
you’re gonna strike up conversations
you’re gonna start talking to people and
you either you’ll have a good feeling
about them or you won’t either you’ll
have chemistry whatever that means or
you don’t sometimes it’s quick sometimes
it’s slow but we know how to do it it’s
called making friends it’s called dating
it’s called networking we have the
innate ability there’s a process which
has made more people rich than any other
single process of goals achieving and
it’s to take your major goal and
structure it as a question if your goal
is to earn $100,000 a year then you
write how can I earn $100,000 in the
next 12 months
that’s an open-ended question not how
can I earn it at my job or doing a
specific thing just an open-ended
question how can I earn the amount of
money and then you discipline yourself
to write 20 answers to the question and
the 20 answers are all the different
things that you could think of to earn
$100,000 work a longer work harder
upgrade my skills this doesn’t get a new
job would it take a part time
opportunity whatever it happens to be
write down everything you could think of
but force yourself to write at least 20
questions or 20 answers to the question
the 20 question method called mine
stormy forces you to deep deep into your
mind where you will find all your
answers and it may be call a person or
read a book let me give you an example
we had a young fellow entrepreneur 35
years old he built his successful
business he worked about 10 years to do
it and he for two years wanted to sell
his business so he could take a year off
and travel enjoy his money and so for
two years he just sort of floundered
around like a fish on the dock wanting
to sell this business nobody offered to
buy it he suggested it to people people
were not interested and so on and in
this exercise that they put him through
his twentieth answer and often it’s the
20th answer that is the breakthrough was
buy a book on how to sell your own
business and it just went off like a
flashbulb in his mind at the break he
got up as a downtown hotel got up went
down to the street to a major bookstore
went and found he was amazed at the
number of books have been written on how
to buy and sell a business so he bought
two or three books two months later he
had restructured packages business sold
it completely satisfactory and took a
year off he said but it’s just a single
idea it was a breakthrough idea but it
was so simple just get a book on the
subject and you think boy that’s pretty
obvious yes but it’s the most obvious
answers that we overlooked
reminded of a man who this gentleman was
doing his special study of a special
tribe in Africa headhunters and he had
difficulty in developing a relationship
with these prides Minh because of the
fact that he had fear
yeah fear they take his head today all
fears are bad I was a legitimate fear
that’s a good for you to give you a
headache so he worked there for a long
time with no effort no progress in
developing relationship and rapport and
being able to achieve a level of trust
so finally one night while he was in bed
he was thinking about said what what is
it that you came here to do what is your
life work as a missionary he said I
wanted to study these tribesmen so
what’s the worst thing that they can do
to you kill you and he just decided hey
this is what I came here to do I know
that there’s some risk involved
and I’m gonna do it come what may he
said I’m not going to be afraid of
he went back to the next day and he
started doing the work and trying to
talk to and interview many of the
members of this tribe and they began to
respond to him they threw out the
welcome mat to him and years later when
people came to see what his progress was
they asked him how were you able to do
this how did you convert the
relationship from being hostile to that
of being positive he said something I
think has value for all of us he said
when life can no longer threaten you
with death what else is there and the
majority of the fears that we have are
not life or death fears and not those
kind of fears but through our
imagination we blow them out of
proportion and we give them more power
than they actually have or deserve and
we permit them to govern our lives we
permit them to determine how far we can
stretch out or our dreams and
discovering our stuff
and as we begin to look at ourselves and
begin to wait a minute just getting to
the point as you assess yourself in and
begin to prove yourself and just the way
Holloman Holman I’ve been sweating this
out what can it what’s the worst thing
that can happen to me illness will it
kill me
well I die why am I going through all of
these changes over this how much power
does this really have and am I the one
that’s feeding the power into it say a
lot of times we we allow ourselves to be
fed and to be programming to to being a
freedom you watch the news and read the
newspaper you’ll be scared to come out
the house am i right you’ll be afraid so
what kinds of things what kinds of
thoughts are you feeding your
consciousness what kind of things are
you putting in your mind that will
enable you to either move forward or to
justify why you staying where you are
most people don’t know about Samuel
Pierpont Langley and back in the early
20th century the pursuit of powered man
flight was like the dot-com of the day
everybody was trying it and Samuel
Pierpont Langley had what we assume to
be the recipe for success I mean even
now we you ask people why did your
product or why did your company fail and
people always give you the permeate same
permutation of the same three things
undercapitalized the wrong people bad
market conditions it was the same three
things so let’s explore that Samuel
Pierpont Langley was given $50,000 by
the War Department to figure out this
flying machine money was no problem
he held a seat at Harvard and worked at
the Smithsonian and was extremely
well-connected he knew all the big minds
of the day he hired the best minds money
could find and the market conditions
were fantastic
the New York Times followed him around
everywhere and everyone was rooting for
Langley and how come we’ve never heard
of Samuel Pierpont Langley a few hundred
miles away in Dayton Ohio Orville and
Wilbur Wright
they had none of what we consider to be
the recipe for success they had no money
they paid for their dream with the
proceeds from their bicycle shop not a
single person on the Wright brothers
team had a college education
not even Orville or Wilbur and the New
York Times followed them around nowhere
the difference was Orville and Wilbur
were driven by a caused by a purpose by
a belief they believed that if they
could figure out this flying machine
it’ll change the course of the world
Samuel Pierpont Langley was different he
wanted to be rich and he want to be
famous he was in pursuit of the result
he was in pursuit of the riches and lo
and behold look what happened the people
who believed in the Wright brothers
dream worked with them with blood and
sweat and tears the others just worked
for the paycheck and they tell stories
of how every time the Wright brothers
went out they would have to take five
sets of parts because that’s how many
times they would crash before they came
in for supper and eventually on December
17th 1903 the Wright brothers took
flight
and no one was there to even experience
it we found out about it a few days
later and further proof that Langley was
motivated by the wrong thing the day the
Wright brothers took flight he quit he
could have said that’s an amazing
discovery guys and I will improve upon
your technology but he didn’t he wasn’t
first he didn’t get rich he didn’t get
famous so he quit people don’t buy what
you do they buy why you do it and if you
talk about what you believe you will
attract those who believe what you
believe well why is it important to
attract those who believe what you
believe something called the law of
diffusion of innovation and if you don’t
know the law you definitely know the
terminology the first two and a half
percent of our population are our
innovators the next thirteen and a half
percent of our population are our early
adopters the next thirty four percent
are your early majority your late
majority and your laggards the only
reason these people by touch-tone phones
is because you can’t buy rotary phones
anymore
[Music]
we all sit at various places at various
times on the scale but with the law of
diffusion of innovation tells us is that
if you want mass-market success or
mass-market acceptance of an idea you
cannot have it until you achieve this
tipping point between 15 and 18 percent
market penetration and then the system
tips and I love asking businesses what’s
your conversion on new business and they
love to tell you oh it’s about 10%
proudly well you can trip over 10% of
the customers we all have about 10% who
just get it that’s how we describe them
right that’s like that gut feeling oh
they just get it the problem is how do
you find the ones that just get it
before you’re doing business with them
versus the ones who don’t get it
so it’s this here this little gap that
you have to close as Geoffrey Moore
calls it crossing the chasm because you
see the early majority will not try
something until someone else has tried
it first and these guys the innovators
in the early adopters they’re
comfortable making those gut decisions
they’re more comfortable making those
intuitive decisions that are driven by
what they believe about the world and
not just what product is available these
are the people who stood on line for six
hours to buy an iPhone when they first
came out when you could have just walked
into the store the next week and bought
one off the shelf these are the people
who spent $40,000 on flat-screen TVs
when they first came out even though the
technology was substandard and by the
way they didn’t do it because the
technology was so great they did it for
themselves it’s because they wanted to
be first people don’t buy what you do
they buy why you do it and what you do
simply proves what you believe in fact
people will do the things that prove
what they believe the reason that person
bought the iPhone on the first in the
first six hours of stood in sickening
line for six hours was because of what
they believed about the world and how
they wanted everybody to see them they
were first people don’t buy what you do
they buy why you do it
so let me give you a famous example a
famous failure and a famous success of
the law of diffusion of innovation first
the famous failure it’s a commercial
example as we said before a second ago
the recipe for success is money and the
right people in there
marking conditions right you should have
success then look at TiVo from the time
TiVo came out about eight or nine years
ago to this current day they are the
single highest quality product on the
market hands down there is no dispute
they were extremely well-funded market
conditions were fantastic I mean we use
TiVo as a verb I TiVo stuff on my piece
Patito is a commercial failure they’ve
never made money and when they went IPO
their stock was at about 30 or $40 and
then plummeted and it’s never traded
above 10 in fact I don’t thinks it’s
even traded about 6 except for a couple
of little spikes because you see when
TiVo launched their product they told us
all what they had they said we have a
product that pauses live TV skips
commercials rewinds live TV and
memorizes your viewing habits without
you even asking and the cynical majority
said we don’t believe you we don’t need
it we don’t like it you’re scaring us
what if they had said if you’re the kind
of person who likes to have total
control over every aspect of your life
boy do we have a product for you it
pauses live TV skips commercials
memorizes your viewing habits etc etc
people don’t buy what you do they buy
why you do it and what you do simply
serves as the proof of what you believe
now let me give you a successful example
of the law of diffusion of innovation in
the summer of 1963 250,000 people showed
up on the mall in Washington to hear dr.
King speak
they sent out no invitations and there
was no website to check the date how do
you do that well dr. King wasn’t the
only man in America who was the who’s a
great orator he wasn’t the only man in
America who suffered in a pre-civil
Rights America in fact some of his ideas
were bad but he had a gift he didn’t go
around telling people what needed to
change in America you know he went
around and told people what he believed
I believe I believe I believe he told
people and people who believed what he
believed took his cause and they made it
their own and they told people and some
of those people created structures to
get the word out to even more people and
lo and behold 250,000 people showed up
on the right day on the right time to
hear him speak how many of them showed
up for him zero they showed up for
themselves it’s what they believed about
America that got them to travel on a bus
for eight hours to stand in the Sun in
Washington for in the middle of August
it’s what they believed and it wasn’t
about black versus white 25 percent of
the audience was white dr. King believed
that there were two types of laws in
this world those that are made by a
higher authority Authority and those
that are made by man and not until all
the laws that are made by man are
consistent with the laws that are made
by the higher authority will we live in
a just world it just so happens that the
civil rights movement was the perfect
thing to help him bring his cause to
life we followed him not for him but for
ourselves and by the way he gave the I
have a dream speech not the I have a
planned speech
[Music]
listen to politicians now with the
comprehensive 12-point plans are not
inspiring anybody because there were
leaders and there are those who lead
leaders hold a position of power or
authority but those who lead inspire us
whether they’re individuals or
organizations we follow those who lead
because we have to but because we want
to we follow those who lead not for them
but for ourselves and it’s those who
start with Y that have the ability to
inspire those around them or find others
who inspire them many years ago at a
talk I was speaking to Rich DeVos when
he was on his way up Rich DeVos the
president of Amway were 5.3 billion
dollars today started off knocking on
doors selling soap and he was working
his way up and I asked him I said what
have you found what’s the most important
quality of successful people and he said
Brian he said we found there’s a direct
relationship I still remember him
telling me this
between how quickly a person takes
action on a new idea and how like it is
they’ll ever take action on any idea at
all
and so the action orientation is the
critical thing we watched people
everybody hears the same things they
hear the same ideas but then we watch
and we see how quickly they take action
and if a person takes action quickly on
a new idea the chances are they’re going
to be successful go up by hundreds of
percent now what most people do is they
say that’s a great idea so wonderful
idea I love I’m gonna do that oh I’m so
excited but before I apply it I need to
take a vacation to a wonderful place
and so they go to some day I’ll and they
live on some day I’ll and who are they
surrounded with on some day I’ll are
there people on some day I’ll and what
is the chief topic of conversation on
some day I’ll yes it’s their excuses
what’s your excuse for not taking action
what’s your excuse for not getting one
what’s your excuse for not losing weight
getting out of debt building your
business right in your book getting your
book finished getting your damn book
started you know in other words what is
your what’s your Excuse they’re all
share excuses oh that’s a good excuse I
haven’t used that one for a long time
battle battle game they’ll take me
another year and so what they do is they
sit around and the bottom 80% of the
population lives on Sunday I owe most of
their lives they’ll all have these great
resolutions but and these wonderful
intentions but what’s their hoed to help
a bit it’s good intentions and I’m gonna
do that something somebody else so it’s
rule number one for success is whatever
you learn here vote yourself off the
island no more some day I’ll either do
it or don’t do it he says all of us are
like the blind man at some point in our
lives
standing on the corner waiting for
somebody to lead us across at some point
in our lives
need some help need someone to reach out
to us to throw the lifeline to help us
go across some treacherous waters that
we could navigate by ourselves none of
us do it by ourselves
all of us at some point of our lives we
need that kind of help we need that kind
of assistance because we grow from the
people we have in our lives that can
enrich our lives personally
professionally spiritually and all the
dimensions of our lives we don’t grow in
a vacuum so you look at yourself
whatever fears you have that maybe you
need some help in strengthening yourself
in that area as you assess your
strengths and your weaknesses as you
begin to approve yourself and your
passions and your dreams and your goals
and the things that you want if you
decide to experience all of your true
potential as you decide to manifest all
of your greatness as you decide wait a
minute what what else is available to me
out here if I decided to experience the
fear of rejection
the fear of no the fear of failure
the fear of standing by myself what else
is available of taking a chance of fear
of losing it all what else is available
to me that will bring some extra meaning
and value do something you’re very
passionate about and don’t try to chase
what is kind of the hot passion of the
day I think we actually saw this I think
you see it all over the place and many
different context but I think we saw it
in the internet world quite a bit where
you know it’s sort of peak of the sort
of Internet you know mania and say 1999
you found people who were you know very
passionate something they kind of left
that job and decided I’m gonna you know
do something in the internet because
it’s you know it’s almost like the you
know the 18-49 Gold Rush and I am and
you find that people if you go back and
say to the history of the 18-49 Gold
Rush you find that you know at that time
everybody who was in was within the
shouting distance of California was you
know they might have been a doctor but
they quit being a doctor and they
started panning for gold and that that
almost never works and even if it does
work you know according to some metric
financial success or whatever might be I
suspect it leaves you ultimately
unsatisfied so you really need to be
very clear with yourself and I think one
of the best ways to do that is this
notion of projecting yourself forward to
age 80 looking back on your life and
trying to make sure you’ve minimize
the number of regrets you know that
works for that works for career
decisions it works for family decisions
you know do one I have a 14 month old
son and it’s very easy for me to if I
think about myself when I’m 80 I know I
want to watch that little guy grow up
and so it it’s I don’t want to be 80 and
think shoot you know I missed that whole
thing and I don’t have the kind of
relationship with my son that I wished I
had and so on and so on so if you think
about that
so I guess another thing that I would
recommend to people is that they always
take a long term point of view and I
think this is something about which
there’s a lot of controversy you know
there’s a there’s a you know something
with a lot of people and I’m just not
one of them I believe that you should
live for the now I think what you do is
you think about the the great expanse of
time ahead of you and try to make sure
that you’re planning for that in a way
that’s gonna leave you ultimately
satisfied so this is just my this is the
way it works for me and I mean this is
everybody needs to find that for
themself so I think there are a lot of
paths to satisfaction and you need to
hi it’s Tony Robbins Happy New Year
listen how’s your new your coming out so
far I know it’s early it’s January 15th
and I thought I’d send you out this
little video message because you know
what that day means don’t you
January 15th is the cutoff statistics
show that 95% of the people that
actually made a New Year’s resolution
have already broken it by today and
that’s if you even made a resolution now
if you’re the exception to that I’m
thrilled for you and I support you and I
say keep rocking it but if you’ve missed
maybe I can drop you a quick little
message or two here that can help you
not only recover but get way beyond just
making some new year’s resolution and
make some real lasting change in your
life I mean think about it most people
don’t even make a resolution anymore why
because they’ve made them from years and
years and years and they know they’re
not gonna follow through so after a
while who wants to disappoint yourself
who wants to be upset with yourself why
even bother to set a new standard for
this year you know it’s gonna be the
same as last year if you’re the kind of
person watching this right now and
you’ve actually opened this email and
you haven’t shut me off already then
obviously that’s not you so the question
is you know what is it that makes us
even want to make a resolution
interesting question why is it at the
beginning of the year we have this
tradition but it goes beyond tradition
it’s something inside of us that makes
us want to make things better and I
think part of it is the calendar gives
us this idea that we can have a fresh
start that we can start from fresh and
have this great victory and it’s really
the calendar itself is quite arbitrary
it’s wonderful to use it but if you
didn’t use it effectively let’s use the
calendar to serve you today let’s just
see what does it really take to make
this thing happen because there’s no
denying that inside of you the only
thing that’s gonna make you happy and
the year ahead and the decades ahead
it’s gonna be having you have an
experience where on a regular basis you
feel like your life is making progress
if there’s one thing I teach and I want
to remind you of it it’s really simple
things getting things is not gonna make
you happy that’s good news in a tough
economy it’s a good reminder you know
doesn’t matter what
you get doesn’t matter whether it be
money or opportunity all those things
might excite you for the moment you know
even a relationship as magnificent it
may be might be exciting for a while but
if you don’t keep growing that
relationship wasn’t gonna stay exciting
so the secret to real happiness is
progress progress equals happiness and
if we can make progress on a regular
basis we feel alive and that’s why at
the beginning of the year we get this
thing like ok I can have this fresh
start I could really do what my soul
desires I could expand I could grow I
can improve I could change or maybe
better than change I could progress see
think about that progress is an
aliveness to it doesn’t it
you don’t have to work at changing
people say all the time that allow I’m
working on changing don’t worry about it
if the work on changing changes
automatic your body’s gonna change
whether you want it or not as the years
go by and I’m gonna how hard you work
there’s gonna be some changes going on
there and the economy is gonna change no
matter what you want it to do the
weather is gonna change relationships
are gonna change everything in life is
always changing we have to work on
change change is automatic but progress
is not so if you want to make real
progress then you really got to look at
your life in a different way you gotta
say I gotta take control of this process
and not just hope it’s gonna work out
like people do who make a resolution cuz
really isn’t that what they’re really
doing at the beginning of the year
they’re saying well here’s my
resolutions for the year and they really
basically tell you their wishes it’s
their wish list it’s what they hope it
all comes together and then they call it
a resolution but they don’t know what a
resolution is when you resolve something
to have a resolution is to resolve it
when you’ve resolved this is how it’s
gonna be that’s when you cut off any
possibility except the thing you’ve
committed to it’s like the old adage if
you want to take the island and you burn
the boats because when you burn those
boats there’s no going back you’re gonna
find a way to make things work and most
people they’re stating what they hope
will come together and if it doesn’t
happen then they’re disappointed but
they’re not too disappointed cuz they’re
not too vested what does it take to
successfully create a lasting change in
your life to not only have a new year’s
resolution you follow through on but
really have a lasting change well the
first step for lasting change is very
much like making a New Year’s
solution fundamentally it’s the same the
first step is you got to have a vision a
vision for what it is you really truly
want not what you think you want or what
you should have I mean what are most
peoples New Year’s resolutions I’m gonna
stop eating sugar you know I’m gonna
stop smoking I’m gonna lose ten pounds
table well that is it’s not very
inspiring for most people you know it’s
not telling you what you’re gonna get
it’s only what you’re not gonna do and
it’s kind of hard to have you move
forward with that a vision is about what
you’re here to create a vision that
really works is one that excites you if
you say well my you know my resolution
my goal my help come for this month this
week this year is to lose X number of
pounds that’s okay but it’s not very
compelling it has to be a compelling
vision it’s gotta have something has the
power to pull you not something you have
to push yourself to do those are two
different kinds of motivation push
requires willpower and willpower never
lasts what will last is pull having
something so exciting so attractive so
something you desire so much that you
have a hard time going to sleep at night
you get so up early in the morning to a
rocket and take it to the next level
that’s what you’re looking at great that
wasn’t easy to get but one of the
reasons we do seminars and events we say
you know why do that why doesn’t why not
just read a book or something is because
when you get in an environment where
you’re with people that are being put in
a peak state like when you’re going to a
sporting event if you watch the sporting
event at home it might have a certain
level of excitement but when you’re in a
stadium with 50,000 people suddenly it
has a whole different level of intensity
when we feel that and the bottom line of
our follow-through comes down to our
emotional intensity in a different state
of mind you’re gonna come up with a much
better and more exciting vision than if
you’re sitting the couch going okay what
are my new resolutions for this year and
you’re doing it the morning after the
new year started and you’re a little
inebriated and the football games on the
background probably not gonna have the
power of focus they’re probably not
gonna have the power the energy to
create something that’s gonna pull you
for this year and you got to do that so
it’s got to be a vision that’s
compelling something that you know it’s
gonna be a gift to make sure that it
happens and also along with that
compelling vision you gotta have strong
enough reasons that you’re gonna follow
through when the going gets
that’s one of the biggest things missing
for most people they say this is what I
want to do it’s not very exciting it’s
not very compelling but most importantly
they don’t have strong enough reasons to
push themselves through what’s gonna be
necessary to get that dream to get that
goal when the inevitable challenges come
up when you’re starving hungry and
you’re trying to go on a diet right when
you got no time and you’re stressed out
you haven’t worked out still and that’s
what you’re supposed to do when the
economy gets tight and what you thought
you’re gonna do doesn’t work and so you
give up on the goal instead of finding
another way to get there you don’t let
the fear take you over if you got strong
enough reasons those reasons can be
positive or those reasons can also be
negative they can be if I don’t do this
this it’s gonna cost me and if I do to
this this is what I’m gonna gain in my life
impossible thing why don’t you go out
and fail you say here’s something worth
going after here’s a step you could take
that would push you beyond where you are
but that you also have a reasonably high
probability of succeeding at right they
called that within a time frame it’s in
some timeframe that’s the other thing
you have to parameterize it with regards
to time frame that’s right and that puts
you in the zone of proximal development
and that’s that’s a concept that was
generated by a guy named Vygotsky he was
a Russian developmental psychologist and
the smart one that’s where the idea of
the zone comes from to be in the zone
and when you’re in the zone you’re
expanding your skills in a manner that’s
intrinsically rewarding because you’re
succeeding and so you want to set if
you’re good to yourself you think okay I
need to set a goal but I need to set a
goal that someone is stupid and useless
as me could probably attain if they put
some effort into it and then you got it
then you’ve got it perfectly because
it’s not so high that it’s grandiose or
impossible that you fail necessarily and
then justify your bitterness it’s like
well I couldn’t do it well done because
that happens to Pete how much all the
time yeah it’s like this all the time
you know it’s like it’s yes exactly well
I set a goal and I didn’t attain it so
I’m not gonna set any more goal right
it’s like no you set a goal that was
inappropriate for the time frame that’s
right you didn’t calibrate it properly
and and you’re playing a trick on
yourself because you wanted to fail so
that you could justify not having to try
that’s why I’ve being a victim mmm which
isn’t in helpful you’re still gonna be a
victim there’s no way out of that man so
you know because life is this life is a
challenge that in some sense can’t be
surmounted so there’s no way out of your
problem but there are certainly proper
ways of dealing with it
when you begin to understand and
acknowledge your fear and you go forth
anyhow you go forth in a spirit and a
knowing that there’s a way that you can
begin to handle this there’s a way out
here somewhere there’s a solution what
it is that you’re seeking that you’ll
have the capacity to whatever comes up
to handle it to face it and rather than
feeling powerless you begin to feel
powerful
see when all of the major downsizings
that are taking place around this
country there are a lot of people who
are biting their fingers and fear that
they might lose their jobs but there are
few people who have decided within
themselves I’m going to make you some
people aren’t waiting to be cut some
people are moving on their own because
they feel within themselves I’ve got
what it takes to make it they’re not
afraid about tomorrow because of how
they see themselves because of what they
feel that they deserve
because of what they feel that they can
create for themselves because these
people have decided as they look at the
future as they look at themselves
there’s a way where there’s a will
there’s a way for me to begin to create
a way out of no way and when you have
that kind of consciousness when you have
that kind of spirit nothing can stop you
nothing what would your life be like as
you look toward the future if you
decided I’m not going to allow my fears
to stop me what would your life be like
what would your future be like if you
decided to to want that which you desire
so strongly that it prepares you past
your fears that you experience the fear
as the one book says feel the fear and
do it anyway what would your life be
like and I’m saying to you that all of
us who have been in tuned by fear have
the capacity to resurrect ourselves and
and you have is it easy no it’s not easy
can I do it yes what’s one of the ways
to get started some of us need somebody
to hold our hands sometimes we need
somebody to help us out be willing to
say I don’t know be willing to reach out
be willing to get some assistance the
take you to the next level if I could
count the amount of times I was told no
it would amount to I mean just there was
way too many times
and it made being told yes that much
better and so I created the mentality in
my head of taking know as no not right
now not no this isn’t for you so no
didn’t have a period it had a dot dot
dot and so if I had given up after the
first time I had said no I wouldn’t be
here and so it’s just you know not
letting someone dictate your future if
you believe in something so strongly and
you want to do something so strongly
who’s gonna tell you to not do it so
that was adapting that kind of allowed
me to take a lot of pressure off how can
you help the human race happen you help
the human race the human species
progress I’m not joking either this is
something I think we all have to be
aware of at the end of the day the human
animals are social animal and our very
survival depends on our ability to form
communities to form cultures
what’s a community what’s a culture it’s
a group of people with a common set of
values and beliefs right what’s a
country it’s a group of people with a
common set of values and beliefs what’s
a company that should be a group of
people with a common set of values and
beliefs when we’re surrounded by people
who believe what we believe something
remarkable happens Trust emerges and
make no mistake of it trust as a feeling
a distinctly human feeling you know we
all have friends we’re total screw-ups
and yet we still trust them right
Trust is not a check with simply doing
everything you say you’re going to do
doesn’t that much does not mean people
will inherently trust you it just means
you’re reliable
we need trust right we need trust when
we’re surrounded by people who believe
what we believe and Trust starts to
emerge and we trust them and they trust
us we’re more willing to take risks
we’re more willing to experiment which
requires failure we’re more willing to
explore and go somewhere with that no
one has ever gone before
with the confidence that if we fail if
we trip over if we turn our backs that
those within our community those who we
trust and who trust us will look after
us while we’re gone will pick us up when
we fall over will help us when we’re
hurt our very survival depends on it
we’re not good at everything we’re not
good by ourselves you know if I send you
out to go fight a saber-toothed tiger by
yourself odds are Tiger one you zero
it’s not gonna go very well but if you
go out as a group we’re pretty damn
amazing and the reason is is because we
all have our strengths and we all of our
certain weaknesses and the goal is not
to fix your weaknesses the goal is to
amplify your strengths and surround
yourself with the people who can do what
you can’t do but it’s not just based on
skills and an application and experience
it’s based on what you believe it’s
based on what you believe you see simply
being good at something and having
somebody else being good what you’re no
good at does not mean you will trust
each other trust the sense of trust
comes from the sense of common values
and common beliefs that improve it how
many of you from New York
okay bunch of you are you friends with
everybody in New York why not why not
but when you go to Los Angeles and you
meet someone from New York you’re like
hey I’m from New York and you’re best
friends right and when you go to France
you there you are in the Paris Metro
minding your own business and you hear
an American accent behind you and you
turn around and say hey where’re you
from
they say Los Angeles you’re like hey I’m
from New York and you’re best friends
because when you’re surrounded by people
who don’t believe what you believe when
you’re in a strange environment where
you don’t feel comfortable you look for
anyone who may share some of
same values and bleeds that you have and
you start to form a very wheat real and
very intense bond with them simply
because you know that they have a basic
understanding of how you grew up of the
things that you care about of the life
that you live back home well the same is
true when we go to work do we want to go
to work with people who understand us
who believe what we believe who have a
similar view of the world that has
nothing to do with their opinions and
the differences that we share
that’s good that’s called diversity
that’s called advantages to problem
solving which is we can all look at the
same thing from a different angle and
come up with solutions what I’m talking
about is why should you help each other
in the first place what are you in
pursuit of now the question is is what
creates that sense of values and beliefs
what creates that sense of trust right
our very human instinct we know how to
find people who believe what we believe
our survival depends on it we’re
biologically gifted with this idea if I
ask you to go out in the street and find
all the people who believe what you
believe you know exactly what to do
you’re gonna strike up conversations
you’re gonna start talking to people and
you either you’ll have a good feeling
about them or you won’t either you’ll
have chemistry whatever that means or
you don’t sometimes it’s quick sometimes
it’s slow but we know how to do it it’s
called making friends it’s called dating
it’s called networking we have the
innate ability there’s a process which
has made more people rich than any other
single process of goals achieving and
it’s to take your major goal and
structure it as a question if your goal
is to earn $100,000 a year then you
write how can I earn $100,000 in the
next 12 months
that’s an open-ended question not how
can I earn it at my job or doing a
specific thing just an open-ended
question how can I earn the amount of
money and then you discipline yourself
to write 20 answers to the question and
the 20 answers are all the different
things that you could think of to earn
$100,000 work a longer work harder
upgrade my skills this doesn’t get a new
job would it take a part time
opportunity whatever it happens to be
write down everything you could think of
but force yourself to write at least 20
questions or 20 answers to the question
the 20 question method called mine
stormy forces you to deep deep into your
mind where you will find all your
answers and it may be call a person or
read a book let me give you an example
we had a young fellow entrepreneur 35
years old he built his successful
business he worked about 10 years to do
it and he for two years wanted to sell
his business so he could take a year off
and travel enjoy his money and so for
two years he just sort of floundered
around like a fish on the dock wanting
to sell this business nobody offered to
buy it he suggested it to people people
were not interested and so on and in
this exercise that they put him through
his twentieth answer and often it’s the
20th answer that is the breakthrough was
buy a book on how to sell your own
business and it just went off like a
flashbulb in his mind at the break he
got up as a downtown hotel got up went
down to the street to a major bookstore
went and found he was amazed at the
number of books have been written on how
to buy and sell a business so he bought
two or three books two months later he
had restructured packages business sold
it completely satisfactory and took a
year off he said but it’s just a single
idea it was a breakthrough idea but it
was so simple just get a book on the
subject and you think boy that’s pretty
obvious yes but it’s the most obvious
answers that we overlooked
reminded of a man who this gentleman was
doing his special study of a special
tribe in Africa headhunters and he had
difficulty in developing a relationship
with these prides Minh because of the
fact that he had fear
yeah fear they take his head today all
fears are bad I was a legitimate fear
that’s a good for you to give you a
headache so he worked there for a long
time with no effort no progress in
developing relationship and rapport and
being able to achieve a level of trust
so finally one night while he was in bed
he was thinking about said what what is
it that you came here to do what is your
life work as a missionary he said I
wanted to study these tribesmen so
what’s the worst thing that they can do
to you kill you and he just decided hey
this is what I came here to do I know
that there’s some risk involved
and I’m gonna do it come what may he
said I’m not going to be afraid of
he went back to the next day and he
started doing the work and trying to
talk to and interview many of the
members of this tribe and they began to
respond to him they threw out the
welcome mat to him and years later when
people came to see what his progress was
they asked him how were you able to do
this how did you convert the
relationship from being hostile to that
of being positive he said something I
think has value for all of us he said
when life can no longer threaten you
with death what else is there and the
majority of the fears that we have are
not life or death fears and not those
kind of fears but through our
imagination we blow them out of
proportion and we give them more power
than they actually have or deserve and
we permit them to govern our lives we
permit them to determine how far we can
stretch out or our dreams and
discovering our stuff
and as we begin to look at ourselves and
begin to wait a minute just getting to
the point as you assess yourself in and
begin to prove yourself and just the way
Holloman Holman I’ve been sweating this
out what can it what’s the worst thing
that can happen to me illness will it
kill me
well I die why am I going through all of
these changes over this how much power
does this really have and am I the one
that’s feeding the power into it say a
lot of times we we allow ourselves to be
fed and to be programming to to being a
freedom you watch the news and read the
newspaper you’ll be scared to come out
the house am i right you’ll be afraid so
what kinds of things what kinds of
thoughts are you feeding your
consciousness what kind of things are
you putting in your mind that will
enable you to either move forward or to
justify why you staying where you are
most people don’t know about Samuel
Pierpont Langley and back in the early
20th century the pursuit of powered man
flight was like the dot-com of the day
everybody was trying it and Samuel
Pierpont Langley had what we assume to
be the recipe for success I mean even
now we you ask people why did your
product or why did your company fail and
people always give you the permeate same
permutation of the same three things
undercapitalized the wrong people bad
market conditions it was the same three
things so let’s explore that Samuel
Pierpont Langley was given $50,000 by
the War Department to figure out this
flying machine money was no problem
he held a seat at Harvard and worked at
the Smithsonian and was extremely
well-connected he knew all the big minds
of the day he hired the best minds money
could find and the market conditions
were fantastic
the New York Times followed him around
everywhere and everyone was rooting for
Langley and how come we’ve never heard
of Samuel Pierpont Langley a few hundred
miles away in Dayton Ohio Orville and
Wilbur Wright
they had none of what we consider to be
the recipe for success they had no money
they paid for their dream with the
proceeds from their bicycle shop not a
single person on the Wright brothers
team had a college education
not even Orville or Wilbur and the New
York Times followed them around nowhere
the difference was Orville and Wilbur
were driven by a caused by a purpose by
a belief they believed that if they
could figure out this flying machine
it’ll change the course of the world
Samuel Pierpont Langley was different he
wanted to be rich and he want to be
famous he was in pursuit of the result
he was in pursuit of the riches and lo
and behold look what happened the people
who believed in the Wright brothers
dream worked with them with blood and
sweat and tears the others just worked
for the paycheck and they tell stories
of how every time the Wright brothers
went out they would have to take five
sets of parts because that’s how many
times they would crash before they came
in for supper and eventually on December
17th 1903 the Wright brothers took
flight
and no one was there to even experience
it we found out about it a few days
later and further proof that Langley was
motivated by the wrong thing the day the
Wright brothers took flight he quit he
could have said that’s an amazing
discovery guys and I will improve upon
your technology but he didn’t he wasn’t
first he didn’t get rich he didn’t get
famous so he quit people don’t buy what
you do they buy why you do it and if you
talk about what you believe you will
attract those who believe what you
believe well why is it important to
attract those who believe what you
believe something called the law of
diffusion of innovation and if you don’t
know the law you definitely know the
terminology the first two and a half
percent of our population are our
innovators the next thirteen and a half
percent of our population are our early
adopters the next thirty four percent
are your early majority your late
majority and your laggards the only
reason these people by touch-tone phones
is because you can’t buy rotary phones
anymore
[Music]
we all sit at various places at various
times on the scale but with the law of
diffusion of innovation tells us is that
if you want mass-market success or
mass-market acceptance of an idea you
cannot have it until you achieve this
tipping point between 15 and 18 percent
market penetration and then the system
tips and I love asking businesses what’s
your conversion on new business and they
love to tell you oh it’s about 10%
proudly well you can trip over 10% of
the customers we all have about 10% who
just get it that’s how we describe them
right that’s like that gut feeling oh
they just get it the problem is how do
you find the ones that just get it
before you’re doing business with them
versus the ones who don’t get it
so it’s this here this little gap that
you have to close as Geoffrey Moore
calls it crossing the chasm because you
see the early majority will not try
something until someone else has tried
it first and these guys the innovators
in the early adopters they’re
comfortable making those gut decisions
they’re more comfortable making those
intuitive decisions that are driven by
what they believe about the world and
not just what product is available these
are the people who stood on line for six
hours to buy an iPhone when they first
came out when you could have just walked
into the store the next week and bought
one off the shelf these are the people
who spent $40,000 on flat-screen TVs
when they first came out even though the
technology was substandard and by the
way they didn’t do it because the
technology was so great they did it for
themselves it’s because they wanted to
be first people don’t buy what you do
they buy why you do it and what you do
simply proves what you believe in fact
people will do the things that prove
what they believe the reason that person
bought the iPhone on the first in the
first six hours of stood in sickening
line for six hours was because of what
they believed about the world and how
they wanted everybody to see them they
were first people don’t buy what you do
they buy why you do it
so let me give you a famous example a
famous failure and a famous success of
the law of diffusion of innovation first
the famous failure it’s a commercial
example as we said before a second ago
the recipe for success is money and the
right people in there
marking conditions right you should have
success then look at TiVo from the time
TiVo came out about eight or nine years
ago to this current day they are the
single highest quality product on the
market hands down there is no dispute
they were extremely well-funded market
conditions were fantastic I mean we use
TiVo as a verb I TiVo stuff on my piece
Patito is a commercial failure they’ve
never made money and when they went IPO
their stock was at about 30 or $40 and
then plummeted and it’s never traded
above 10 in fact I don’t thinks it’s
even traded about 6 except for a couple
of little spikes because you see when
TiVo launched their product they told us
all what they had they said we have a
product that pauses live TV skips
commercials rewinds live TV and
memorizes your viewing habits without
you even asking and the cynical majority
said we don’t believe you we don’t need
it we don’t like it you’re scaring us
what if they had said if you’re the kind
of person who likes to have total
control over every aspect of your life
boy do we have a product for you it
pauses live TV skips commercials
memorizes your viewing habits etc etc
people don’t buy what you do they buy
why you do it and what you do simply
serves as the proof of what you believe
now let me give you a successful example
of the law of diffusion of innovation in
the summer of 1963 250,000 people showed
up on the mall in Washington to hear dr.
King speak
they sent out no invitations and there
was no website to check the date how do
you do that well dr. King wasn’t the
only man in America who was the who’s a
great orator he wasn’t the only man in
America who suffered in a pre-civil
Rights America in fact some of his ideas
were bad but he had a gift he didn’t go
around telling people what needed to
change in America you know he went
around and told people what he believed
I believe I believe I believe he told
people and people who believed what he
believed took his cause and they made it
their own and they told people and some
of those people created structures to
get the word out to even more people and
lo and behold 250,000 people showed up
on the right day on the right time to
hear him speak how many of them showed
up for him zero they showed up for
themselves it’s what they believed about
America that got them to travel on a bus
for eight hours to stand in the Sun in
Washington for in the middle of August
it’s what they believed and it wasn’t
about black versus white 25 percent of
the audience was white dr. King believed
that there were two types of laws in
this world those that are made by a
higher authority Authority and those
that are made by man and not until all
the laws that are made by man are
consistent with the laws that are made
by the higher authority will we live in
a just world it just so happens that the
civil rights movement was the perfect
thing to help him bring his cause to
life we followed him not for him but for
ourselves and by the way he gave the I
have a dream speech not the I have a
planned speech
[Music]
listen to politicians now with the
comprehensive 12-point plans are not
inspiring anybody because there were
leaders and there are those who lead
leaders hold a position of power or
authority but those who lead inspire us
whether they’re individuals or
organizations we follow those who lead
because we have to but because we want
to we follow those who lead not for them
but for ourselves and it’s those who
start with Y that have the ability to
inspire those around them or find others
who inspire them many years ago at a
talk I was speaking to Rich DeVos when
he was on his way up Rich DeVos the
president of Amway were 5.3 billion
dollars today started off knocking on
doors selling soap and he was working
his way up and I asked him I said what
have you found what’s the most important
quality of successful people and he said
Brian he said we found there’s a direct
relationship I still remember him
telling me this
between how quickly a person takes
action on a new idea and how like it is
they’ll ever take action on any idea at
all
and so the action orientation is the
critical thing we watched people
everybody hears the same things they
hear the same ideas but then we watch
and we see how quickly they take action
and if a person takes action quickly on
a new idea the chances are they’re going
to be successful go up by hundreds of
percent now what most people do is they
say that’s a great idea so wonderful
idea I love I’m gonna do that oh I’m so
excited but before I apply it I need to
take a vacation to a wonderful place
and so they go to some day I’ll and they
live on some day I’ll and who are they
surrounded with on some day I’ll are
there people on some day I’ll and what
is the chief topic of conversation on
some day I’ll yes it’s their excuses
what’s your excuse for not taking action
what’s your excuse for not getting one
what’s your excuse for not losing weight
getting out of debt building your
business right in your book getting your
book finished getting your damn book
started you know in other words what is
your what’s your Excuse they’re all
share excuses oh that’s a good excuse I
haven’t used that one for a long time
battle battle game they’ll take me
another year and so what they do is they
sit around and the bottom 80% of the
population lives on Sunday I owe most of
their lives they’ll all have these great
resolutions but and these wonderful
intentions but what’s their hoed to help
a bit it’s good intentions and I’m gonna
do that something somebody else so it’s
rule number one for success is whatever
you learn here vote yourself off the
island no more some day I’ll either do
it or don’t do it he says all of us are
like the blind man at some point in our
lives
standing on the corner waiting for
somebody to lead us across at some point
in our lives
need some help need someone to reach out
to us to throw the lifeline to help us
go across some treacherous waters that
we could navigate by ourselves none of
us do it by ourselves
all of us at some point of our lives we
need that kind of help we need that kind
of assistance because we grow from the
people we have in our lives that can
enrich our lives personally
professionally spiritually and all the
dimensions of our lives we don’t grow in
a vacuum so you look at yourself
whatever fears you have that maybe you
need some help in strengthening yourself
in that area as you assess your
strengths and your weaknesses as you
begin to approve yourself and your
passions and your dreams and your goals
and the things that you want if you
decide to experience all of your true
potential as you decide to manifest all
of your greatness as you decide wait a
minute what what else is available to me
out here if I decided to experience the
fear of rejection
the fear of no the fear of failure
the fear of standing by myself what else
is available of taking a chance of fear
of losing it all what else is available
to me that will bring some extra meaning
and value do something you’re very
passionate about and don’t try to chase
what is kind of the hot passion of the
day I think we actually saw this I think
you see it all over the place and many
different context but I think we saw it
in the internet world quite a bit where
you know it’s sort of peak of the sort
of Internet you know mania and say 1999
you found people who were you know very
passionate something they kind of left
that job and decided I’m gonna you know
do something in the internet because
it’s you know it’s almost like the you
know the 18-49 Gold Rush and I am and
you find that people if you go back and
say to the history of the 18-49 Gold
Rush you find that you know at that time
everybody who was in was within the
shouting distance of California was you
know they might have been a doctor but
they quit being a doctor and they
started panning for gold and that that
almost never works and even if it does
work you know according to some metric
financial success or whatever might be I
suspect it leaves you ultimately
unsatisfied so you really need to be
very clear with yourself and I think one
of the best ways to do that is this
notion of projecting yourself forward to
age 80 looking back on your life and
trying to make sure you’ve minimize
the number of regrets you know that
works for that works for career
decisions it works for family decisions
you know do one I have a 14 month old
son and it’s very easy for me to if I
think about myself when I’m 80 I know I
want to watch that little guy grow up
and so it it’s I don’t want to be 80 and
think shoot you know I missed that whole
thing and I don’t have the kind of
relationship with my son that I wished I
had and so on and so on so if you think
about that
so I guess another thing that I would
recommend to people is that they always
take a long term point of view and I
think this is something about which
there’s a lot of controversy you know
there’s a there’s a you know something
with a lot of people and I’m just not
one of them I believe that you should
live for the now I think what you do is
you think about the the great expanse of
time ahead of you and try to make sure
that you’re planning for that in a way
that’s gonna leave you ultimately
satisfied so this is just my this is the
way it works for me and I mean this is
everybody needs to find that for
themself so I think there are a lot of
paths to satisfaction and you need to
hi it’s Tony Robbins Happy New Year
listen how’s your new your coming out so
far I know it’s early it’s January 15th
and I thought I’d send you out this
little video message because you know
what that day means don’t you
January 15th is the cutoff statistics
show that 95% of the people that
actually made a New Year’s resolution
have already broken it by today and
that’s if you even made a resolution now
if you’re the exception to that I’m
thrilled for you and I support you and I
say keep rocking it but if you’ve missed
maybe I can drop you a quick little
message or two here that can help you
not only recover but get way beyond just
making some new year’s resolution and
make some real lasting change in your
life I mean think about it most people
don’t even make a resolution anymore why
because they’ve made them from years and
years and years and they know they’re
not gonna follow through so after a
while who wants to disappoint yourself
who wants to be upset with yourself why
even bother to set a new standard for
this year you know it’s gonna be the
same as last year if you’re the kind of
person watching this right now and
you’ve actually opened this email and
you haven’t shut me off already then
obviously that’s not you so the question
is you know what is it that makes us
even want to make a resolution
interesting question why is it at the
beginning of the year we have this
tradition but it goes beyond tradition
it’s something inside of us that makes
us want to make things better and I
think part of it is the calendar gives
us this idea that we can have a fresh
start that we can start from fresh and
have this great victory and it’s really
the calendar itself is quite arbitrary
it’s wonderful to use it but if you
didn’t use it effectively let’s use the
calendar to serve you today let’s just
see what does it really take to make
this thing happen because there’s no
denying that inside of you the only
thing that’s gonna make you happy and
the year ahead and the decades ahead
it’s gonna be having you have an
experience where on a regular basis you
feel like your life is making progress
if there’s one thing I teach and I want
to remind you of it it’s really simple
things getting things is not gonna make
you happy that’s good news in a tough
economy it’s a good reminder you know
doesn’t matter what
you get doesn’t matter whether it be
money or opportunity all those things
might excite you for the moment you know
even a relationship as magnificent it
may be might be exciting for a while but
if you don’t keep growing that
relationship wasn’t gonna stay exciting
so the secret to real happiness is
progress progress equals happiness and
if we can make progress on a regular
basis we feel alive and that’s why at
the beginning of the year we get this
thing like ok I can have this fresh
start I could really do what my soul
desires I could expand I could grow I
can improve I could change or maybe
better than change I could progress see
think about that progress is an
aliveness to it doesn’t it
you don’t have to work at changing
people say all the time that allow I’m
working on changing don’t worry about it
if the work on changing changes
automatic your body’s gonna change
whether you want it or not as the years
go by and I’m gonna how hard you work
there’s gonna be some changes going on
there and the economy is gonna change no
matter what you want it to do the
weather is gonna change relationships
are gonna change everything in life is
always changing we have to work on
change change is automatic but progress
is not so if you want to make real
progress then you really got to look at
your life in a different way you gotta
say I gotta take control of this process
and not just hope it’s gonna work out
like people do who make a resolution cuz
really isn’t that what they’re really
doing at the beginning of the year
they’re saying well here’s my
resolutions for the year and they really
basically tell you their wishes it’s
their wish list it’s what they hope it
all comes together and then they call it
a resolution but they don’t know what a
resolution is when you resolve something
to have a resolution is to resolve it
when you’ve resolved this is how it’s
gonna be that’s when you cut off any
possibility except the thing you’ve
committed to it’s like the old adage if
you want to take the island and you burn
the boats because when you burn those
boats there’s no going back you’re gonna
find a way to make things work and most
people they’re stating what they hope
will come together and if it doesn’t
happen then they’re disappointed but
they’re not too disappointed cuz they’re
not too vested what does it take to
successfully create a lasting change in
your life to not only have a new year’s
resolution you follow through on but
really have a lasting change well the
first step for lasting change is very
much like making a New Year’s
solution fundamentally it’s the same the
first step is you got to have a vision a
vision for what it is you really truly
want not what you think you want or what
you should have I mean what are most
peoples New Year’s resolutions I’m gonna
stop eating sugar you know I’m gonna
stop smoking I’m gonna lose ten pounds
table well that is it’s not very
inspiring for most people you know it’s
not telling you what you’re gonna get
it’s only what you’re not gonna do and
it’s kind of hard to have you move
forward with that a vision is about what
you’re here to create a vision that
really works is one that excites you if
you say well my you know my resolution
my goal my help come for this month this
week this year is to lose X number of
pounds that’s okay but it’s not very
compelling it has to be a compelling
vision it’s gotta have something has the
power to pull you not something you have
to push yourself to do those are two
different kinds of motivation push
requires willpower and willpower never
lasts what will last is pull having
something so exciting so attractive so
something you desire so much that you
have a hard time going to sleep at night
you get so up early in the morning to a
rocket and take it to the next level
that’s what you’re looking at great that
wasn’t easy to get but one of the
reasons we do seminars and events we say
you know why do that why doesn’t why not
just read a book or something is because
when you get in an environment where
you’re with people that are being put in
a peak state like when you’re going to a
sporting event if you watch the sporting
event at home it might have a certain
level of excitement but when you’re in a
stadium with 50,000 people suddenly it
has a whole different level of intensity
when we feel that and the bottom line of
our follow-through comes down to our
emotional intensity in a different state
of mind you’re gonna come up with a much
better and more exciting vision than if
you’re sitting the couch going okay what
are my new resolutions for this year and
you’re doing it the morning after the
new year started and you’re a little
inebriated and the football games on the
background probably not gonna have the
power of focus they’re probably not
gonna have the power the energy to
create something that’s gonna pull you
for this year and you got to do that so
it’s got to be a vision that’s
compelling something that you know it’s
gonna be a gift to make sure that it
happens and also along with that
compelling vision you gotta have strong
enough reasons that you’re gonna follow
through when the going gets
that’s one of the biggest things missing
for most people they say this is what I
want to do it’s not very exciting it’s
not very compelling but most importantly
they don’t have strong enough reasons to
push themselves through what’s gonna be
necessary to get that dream to get that
goal when the inevitable challenges come
up when you’re starving hungry and
you’re trying to go on a diet right when
you got no time and you’re stressed out
you haven’t worked out still and that’s
what you’re supposed to do when the
economy gets tight and what you thought
you’re gonna do doesn’t work and so you
give up on the goal instead of finding
another way to get there you don’t let
the fear take you over if you got strong
enough reasons those reasons can be
positive or those reasons can also be
negative they can be if I don’t do this
this it’s gonna cost me and if I do to
this this is what I’m gonna gain in my life
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