you’ve got to remember that any feeling
you’ve ever had in your body whether it
be fear anxiety concern depression
frustration or ecstasy power unstoppable
‘ti confidence success those emotions
any emotion you feel comes from the way
you use your physical body the only way
you can feel anything is by the way you
move the way you breathe your facial
expressions so if you’re not feeling
confident you don’t have to
intellectually try and pump yourself up
because it doesn’t always work
I’m sure you’ve tried it time to go well
I need to be confident I know I should
be confident but you’re still not there
well let me tell you the quickest way to
get confident is to change your
physiology radically today’s focus is on
how to eliminate self-sabotage you know
when I talk to people about succeeding
in their lives really making their goals
and dreams a reality invariably they say
you know I really go for it but just
somehow manage to screw things up for
myself just what I’m about to really
make things happen all of a sudden
whammo I don’t show up for a key meeting
or I say the wrong thing or I treat
somebody mean or I just don’t follow
through and I don’t understand it I
don’t know why I keep sabotaging myself
in this way hey sabotage only comes for
one reason and we said this over and
over again and we’re gonna keep saying
it because it is the foundation to
understanding human behavior if you’re
sabotaging yourself it means you’re
stopping yourself from following through
right why would you do that take a wild
guess because you associate more pain to
following through you’re sabotaging
yourself as a way of stopping yourself
from doing something that you think on
some level is gonna create a lot of pain
in your life now some people think
succeeding is gonna create pain it’s
gonna make sure they feel alone or
separate from other people remember
we’ve talked about this so as they start
to get close to succeeding
wham-o they sabotage why cuz their brain
notices that hey the more I succeed
people around me don’t seem to get too
jazzed about it when I fail they go oh
come here gosh let me talk to you how’s
it going but when they succeed they go
yeah easy for you buddy
well that kind of conditioning no wonder
people sabotage we’ve got to take
control back in a way we take control
back again
as we’ve done over the last two tapes of
conditioning ourselves is to change our
associations to the thing that we’re
sabotaging now let me bring up another
point that I think is equally maybe even
more important that is this a lot of us
jump to conclusions about sabotage you
know a lot of people say well gosh you
know I just keep sabotaging my success
and when I say to them is are you
sabotaging your success or are you just
doing stupid things what I mean by that
is not everything you do that takes away
from your possibility of succeeding as a
result of self sabotage sometimes you
just make poor decisions and you don’t
want to start making up in your head
that there’s this giant pattern
dominating your life and a lot of people
do that
for example this woman in a seminar
recently stood up and she said well gosh
I just sabotage myself all the time I
said well what do you mean she said well
you know like the other day she said I
was late for work for the second time I
said well what does that mean she goes
well I was late and that screws things
up I must be sabotaging myself I saw
maybe it just got caught up and what you
were doing she goes no I think I
sabotage myself I said well why else she
said well because not only was I late
but also I forgot some of my things at
home so I wasn’t just late I left my
books at home so I couldn’t have conduct
the appropriate meeting I know are
sabotaging I said well how often does
this happen she goes well I don’t know
maybe once or twice a month I said well
maybe ma’am you’re not self sabotaging
maybe you’re just not paying attention I
mean so be careful about generating this
as a generalization in your mind does
that make sense don’t get caught up and
creating a belief system when maybe
something’s not there on the other hand
if you do have a pattern realize that
any pattern you have including self
sabotage still comes back to one thing
human beings no matter what we’re doing
including sabotaging ourselves we do it
for a positive intent I want you to get
that anything we do we do for a positive
intent for example if you smoke
cigarettes you’re not doing it to try
and create cancer in your body and
destroy yourself that’s not the intent
the intent is your brain long ago linked
up hey if I’m bored or if I’m frustrated
or if I’m feeling some kind of pain of
some sort that this is a way to distract
myself this is literally a way to get
rid of the pain
and create some pleasure that’s what
your brain is learn to do so the intent
was smoking is not to try and sabotage
you to sabotage the physical sabotage
that obviously cigarettes create for us
is not about creating sabotage it’s
about creating pleasure and avoiding
pain you follow me we do the same thing
with alcohol we do the same thing of use
drugs you do the same thing if you watch
TV too much you do the same thing if you
don’t show up for meetings there is
always a positive intent your brain is
trying to do something that’s good for
you in the form of avoiding pain and
getting pleasure so what’s the challenge
well the challenge is in our lives we
many times sabotage ourselves because
we’ve got this approach avoidance thing
you’ve heard me talk about so much in
these tapes where we have mixed neural
associations where we sabotage a
relationship why because on the one side
remember we’ve linked pleasure if I get
a relationship it’s gonna be so great
others personal loves me and I can be
with this person and we can share so
much of life together and yet on the
other hand we’ve had experiences where
it’s meant pain and so our brain fries
we start to go in the relationship it
seems good and then all of a sudden our
brain goes oh oh but that might mean
pain and also we get these mixed
sensations or a brain doesn’t know is it
gonna mean pain or is it gonna be in
pleasure when our brain doesn’t know it
stops everything it tries to stop the
process of progress does that make sense
I give you a classic example I was
reading in a book of an example of how
our associations can drive us crazy and
what it talked about was an experiment
that was done with rhesus monkeys where
they put them in a special cage and what
they did is in the cage they put LED
yellow and green squares well after
several days the experimenter set it up
so that the red squares in the cage gave
off intermittent shocks that will cause
the monkey immediate pain well you can
imagine the monkey became pretty anxious
and pretty soon and learned to avoid the
red squares in almost any cost
well next the experiment had caused the
red and the yellow squares to give off
intermittent shocks and the monkey began
to act as if he was a manic depressive
why because no matter where he went he
seemed to get pain no matter what he
tried he tried we thought would work
tried but he didn’t work he’s got pain
he started alternate between hyper
anxiety and depression and withdrawal
the monkey soon learned of
the red and the yellow squares and then
all the squares were electrified well
the little monkey began to bite itself
to beat its head against the bars to
defecate on itself you might say little
monkey been driven crazy now that’s a
horrible example and I have absolute
contempt for that kind of abuse of
animals or people but what I also want
to point out is that this is exactly
what some people do to each other this
is exactly what some people do on their
own head and some people create this
experimental cage in their brain where
they literally begin to link pain to
everything in life we are the ones that
create the connections though we’re the
ones that establish the shocks because
no matter what happens in your life what
you associate to things is your choice
and at least after this program it is
you don’t have to be at the effect if
you notice that you’ve begun to wire to
relationships a red square called pain
you can get rid of it because you can
know that that is a generalization not
all relationships equal pain and so
you’ve got to eliminate those negative
associations otherwise you create your
own experimental box and you pay the
ultimate price that never needs to
happen to you you have the skills in
this program and if you’re not sure
about them listen to a tape again and
apply them you can take those
experiences that were painful and use
the erasure technique and destroy it so
you don’t ever associate pain again to a
relationship maybe you can even get it
where it’s somewhat humorous or you’ve
at least learned something or you can
ask yourself better questions and say
okay it may have felt painful then but
that was only one relationship and what
did I learn so I won’t have pain in the
future it’s not all red squares are
painful if that one was and what can I
learn from it so the next red square is
pleasurable or so I can rewire the red
square so it supports me I just finished
doing a date with destiny seminar this
last weekend before I did this taping
with you and the interesting thing
happened is a man walked up to me and he
said mr. Robbins I think I should tell
you
that I’m into self-sabotage I said oh
really that sounds pretty exciting is it
what I said what am i doing I just
interrupted his pattern a little bit
start to break it up he said well no I’m
serious I said well I can see you’re
very serious I said well what do you
mean he said well for the last few years
I’ve been working very hard at getting
out of my body I said getting out of
your body he said yes I said what do you
mean he said well in the last six months
I’ve been in three car accidents I said
well that’s pretty amazing he’s sitting
you know what else I said what he said
I’ve been in the hospital four or five
times for fainting spells I’ve also
fallen off a ladder I also fell when I
was exercising and I said well I said
how do you know that that means you’re
trying to get out of your body I said I
don’t agree he said what do you mean I
said listen if you want to get out of
your body you would have pulled that off
a long time ago I mean that’s pretty
easy I mean all you need is a good gun
or you know nice nice big knife from you
could do it quickly I mean if you really
were committed to getting out of your
body who had done that a long time ago
obviously this self-sabotage you’re
talking about has a positive intent what
is it you’re trying to get out of this
behavior he said well I don’t know I
said well if you didn’t know he said I
don’t know I guess maybe I just want to
know that people love me
I said hmm interesting he said god I
never even realized that till just now I
said see people on savage that you know
trying to kill yourself that’s absurd
the bottom line is you want to feel
loved and I bet just like the example I
talked about with you earlier in these
tapes with jackknife when we talked
about that guy who slammed his hand
through the glass and was bleeding and
the woman who was rejecting him all
sudden is making love to him I said a
long time ago I told him that story and
I said you know a long time ago you
obviously linked up that if you get
yourself hurt and get in the hospital
especially you got these people to come
and tell you how much they love you and
be with you and be worried about you but
I got to tell you something that isn’t
love that’s obligation he looked at me
kind of funny I said that’s what it is
it’s obligation it’s pain they don’t
want to come see you they feel like they
have to and they’re guilty I said
they’re not giving you love in fact a
lot of those people probably hate you
because they do that well you talk about
interrupting his pattern started to D
focus his eyes stare I look inside
what am i doing I’m getting him to link
what
Payne to his present pattern so his
brain will want to change it I said
listen if you want love there are much
better ways and you’re much more
intelligent person this you don’t have
to sabotage him this way you could get
it just bite you know the best way to
get love give it see be loving to people
give them so much love that they have to
give you love back I said there’s a law
in life it’s called reciprocation what
you put out people feel like they got to
give it back I said some people stay in
relationships with people that they like
but don’t love and the reason is they
feel stuck as the other person who loves
them so much that they just oh they
can’t get out they give love back I said
listen if you really want love start
pouring it out so deeply and so
powerfully to so many people it’ll come
back to enfold and he looked around I
said and if you do that you have no pain
and you have lots of pleasure you do the
other one you keep breaking body parts
people come they’re obligated they think
God would have schmuck how many more
times is he gonna quit get in a car
accident what is he stupid but they
wouldn’t say that doofus I did this over
and over again until I conditioned him
to link the new pattern I said to him as
well look if you were expressing love
while you’re expressing it what are you
feeling they said Wow
I so that’s interesting so you mean you
could get what you want the minute you
give it his brain went wow what a
concept
here’s a whole new way now will this
will help him to change his whole life
well he believes it will we’ll know in
six months if he hasn’t had too many
more accidents the pot of my unless he’s
just like blind or something and that’s
part of the problem the point is this
any pattern of self-sabotage comes out
of a positive intent do you hear me on
this we’re always trying to get
something that’s good for us even people
that commit suicide do it for a positive
intent in their brains mind their brain
says hey suicide being dead would be
less painful than being alive which I
have a hard time personally believing
but in the moment people who believe
that commit suicide most people never
commit suicide because killing
themselves is just too painful so what
do they do they just beat themselves up
a lot you don’t need to do either one
you can free yourself from self-sabotage
right now by knowing from this day
forward that if you ever start to
sabotage yourself 1 don’t jump to
conclusions and assume that because
you’ve done some
a few times and it didn’t work out last
minute you screwed something up that
it’s the specter called self-sabotage
that’s coming to find you try another
approach
maybe it’s you’re just not paying
attention maybe you’re not focusing
maybe it’s got some poor habits you know
it may not be a self-sabotage pattern so
don’t jump to that conclusion for just
bad habits refocus and decide what you
do want to accomplish and to if it
clearly is a pattern where you are
subconsciously sabotaging yourself
screwing things up
hey get excited don’t get upset say hey
look my brain is doing what it does best
it thinks it’s keeping me out of pain
and give me some pleasure but I just got
to teach my brain a better pattern
that’s all so what’s the intent and
that’s how you eliminate self-sabotage
so let’s go through the steps real
quickly one identify a behavior that’s
keeping you from getting your goals
something that’s stopping you were
holding you back first you got
identified that stepping into 1 2 once
you’ve identified it ask yourself what
is the positive intent here what is my
brain trying to give me so for example
if you know you’re about to go up to
somebody and ask him for a date and then
all of a sudden you shut down and you
can’t even talk what’s the positive
intent well my guess would be that your
brain is trying to protect you from
being rejected it’s saying well if he
doesn’t say anything can’t be rejected
rejection is pain I don’t want pain does
that make sense
so that’s why you can’t think in that
moment but see you got to teach your
brain otherwise you got to go in once
you find out that what the positive
intent did you go well it’s trying to
protect me from rejection then you go to
step 3 get some leverage on yourself so
that you can make the change you know
how to do that we’ve done it over and
over again that is teach your brain but
hey if I don’t change this thing I know
you’re trying to help me out of your
brain I know you’re trying to keep me
from the pain of rejection but by me not
going up and expressing how much I’m
attracted it’s costing me relationships
that could give me a lot more pleasure
it’s a little bitty pain but not being a
relationship is big pain I gotta explain
this to your brain you gotta have a
little conversation in your head the way
to do it is on paper sit down and write
down all the pain you’re gonna get if
you don’t change this pattern and all
the pleasures you’ll get by making the
pattern work real simple step 4
interrupt the pattern and there are lots
of ways to do that we’ve talked about
many the simplest one that we’ve used
and
last day or two of course is the eraser
technique so how do we use it well
see yourself beginning to go into a
situation where you’re sabotaging
yourself another would see yourself
start to approach let’s say an
attractive person and you you see
yourself start to choke up only this
time watch it happen in scramblin be
outraged it’s the key to interrupting a
pattern is to do something your brain
would never ever expect and you look
rapidly over and over and over and over
again what that does is totally fry the
old pattern that used to stop you
and of course Step five then is install
a new pattern condition yourself to have
new feelings what do you do see yourself
over and over going up and making the
connection with this person and feeling
the pleasure that comes from that so you
clearly teach your brain pain comes from
not doing it pleasure comes from doing
it and that old pattern I can’t run
anymore I’ve forgotten what the heck it
is I scrambled my brain simple humorous
basic way to change and eliminate
self-sabotage something you can easily
do I want to make one of the point and
that is some of the most successful
people have patterns of self-sabotage so
remember if you find yourself doing
something that doesn’t seem to be
supporting you in the long term remember
at some level your brain thinks it’s
supporting you at least in the short
term that’s why it’s doing it don’t feel
bad about a no go oh gosh Here I am this
failure some of most successful people
that I’ve interviewed and worked with
have had self-sabotage it’s just a
pattern we once in a while get you can
just change it now it’s very easy so
here’s your assignment pull out your
success journal and before you turn the
tape over just identify do you have a
place in your life where you have a
tendency and by the way that’s all this
self-sabotage stuff yes we don’t want to
make it into a thing it’s not a thing
it’s just a tendency it’s just a pattern
that once in a while you run so is there
a place in your life where you have a
tendency to start to sabotage things
when it gets to good for example
relationship gets to a certain level and
your brain goes uh-oh if I get too
connected if I love this person too much
what if they leave me oh my gosh then I
have pain so I better sabotage it first
you understand the kind of thing I’m
talking about here so identify if
there’s a tendency some place that’s
number one to don’t feel bad about it
instead feel good get excited saying my
brain is awesome my brain here is doing
a good job of what it believes it needs
to do to help me to avoid pain and gain
pleasure so feel good about your brain
it means it’s doing its job
three get some leverage though to make a
change get your brain to associate and
teach your brain by writing down here’s
all the things I miss out on because of
this tendency and really get your brain
to see that there’s major pain in
sabotaging and make sure your brain also
says make a list here’s all the pleasure
I get by making a change so your brain
has got both the stick and the carrot
it’s got leverage to want to make the
shift for then what you need to do is
now simply interrupt the pattern and the
interrupt the pattern the resilient ways
to do it again but use the erase your
technique us since we that’s what we’ve
been using for the last two days real
simple process think about the sabotage
you’ve done and make it humorous run
those kinds of scenarios over in your
head and turn them into cartoons back
and forth back and forth back and forth
until when your brain things of it it
kind of laughs and sees that this is
ridiculous where it doesn’t run the
pattern the same way anymore
and finally five rehearse achieving the
result you want without the
self-sabotage in other words rehearse
achieving the success you want and make
sure you feel the pleasure of succeeding
and do it over and over again till your
brain links hey this really works this
is really gonna last this is something
that I really want in my life and the
self-sabotage pattern or tendency will
disappear so do this and we’ll talk
about how to create unstoppable
self-confidence
creating unstoppable self-confidence
self-confidence it’s something people
talk about all the time when they say
why they’re not succeeding over and over
I hear people say I just don’t have
enough confidence
listen confidence is not something you
have it’s something you create and you
can create it in any moment in time a
sense of confidence is nothing but a
sense of power within yourself a sense
of certainty that you can pull something
off and you can create that feeling
literally in a moment it’s not something
that you live with there’s no one that
I’ve ever met that no matter what
situation they’re in is always confident
everybody gets knocked off kilter at
times the key is can you turn the
confidence on when you need it so you
can get the most out of yourself does
that make sense so far so you’ve got to
remember that feeling confident is
nothing but a state of mind and you can
change and create any state you want at
any moment in time no matter what’s
going on around you let me give you some
specific examples there are three
primary ways that you can create
self-confidence at any moment in time to
get the most out of yourself and produce
the results you really want approach
number one you’re familiar with it’s
called physiology you’ve got to remember
that any feeling you’ve ever had in your
body whether it be fear anxiety concern
depression frustration or ecstasy power
unstoppable ‘ti confidence success those
emotions any emotion you feel comes from
the way you use your physical body the
only way you can feel anything is by the
way you move the way you breathe your
facial expressions so if you’re not
feeling confident you don’t have to
intellectually try and pump yourself up
because it doesn’t always work
I’m sure you’ve tried it time to go well
I need to be confident I know I should
be confident but you’re still not there
let me tell you the quickest way to get
confident is to change your physiology
radically listen in our seminars around
the country those unleash the power
within programs we take people through a
first evening we call fear into power
and it’s an experience we get you to
change your conditioning and feel
totally confident in an area you
normally totally afraid of so at the
broadcast site we use a fire walk
experience where everyone walks across
the fire between 1,200 and 2,000 degrees
burning hot coal
and in the theaters we have people
actually learn how to break through wood
karate style and they do in about 15
minutes
and it requires not only confidence as
you might guess but competence to do
something that most people take two or
three years to learn how to do in a few
minutes now the purpose of this is to
get people in a state of being totally
strong a confident even though they were
totally afraid lacking confidence only
moments before let me tell you something
to get yourself across a bed of burning
hot coals or to smash through some wood
even though you might be tiny and small
but what is much bigger than you’ve ever
done before I got to tell you something
to do that you got to make a major
change in your state major now let me
tell you we do that the number one way
we do this is we get people to move
their bodies or the level of intensity
and power that they probably never
experienced before remember earlier in
these tapes I said to you that emotion
is created by motion the way you move
your body physically the way you
breathed your facial expressions
instantly affects your emotional state
the way you feel and the way you think
so if you need confidence you must move
in a confident way you must literally
put yourself at level 10 or above
remember those conversations so what I
do with people is literally I’ll take
somebody who comes up to the fire and
they go oh gosh I really don’t think I
could do this and I say and I couldn’t
do it either if I talk like you right
now stand up breathe strong take a huge
deep breath in blow it out hard what I
want you to say the word yes and then go
yes is it no no say yes and I have him
yelling I go yes say it again yes and
pretty soon they feel incredibly strong
and I say walk and I go okay and it’s
like instantly a moment ago they were
totally afraid now they are the
confidence to do it the only difference
was changing their state of mind and
emotion by changing the way they were
using their body but I do it radically
major explosive changes in other words
if I was gonna make a gesture I wouldn’t
just like reach my hand out toward you
I’d snap it out there that’s the kind of
state of confidence I’m talking about
are you following me in other words
you’ve got to move deliberately as if
you are absolutely totally in control
you know you can create any result you
want if you meet someone who’s confident
you know it before they open their mouth
don’t you can’t you tell by the way they
move by the way they speak listen what
if
when you turn these tapes on I said well
I want to thank you for listening
I’m 20 Robbins and want to share with
you over the next 30 days how you could
have well you know absolutely total you
can go get rid of this guy what am i
doing what’s going on here who is this
guy’s he on drugs what’s the deal see
the bottom line is I communicate rapidly
because I’m confident is that I’m
competent know confident that’s what I’m
talking about hopefully I’m competent
too but the bottom line is I’m just
letting it go out of that state of
confidence though ideas pop up this
whole set of tapes have been designed to
help you get results without limits I
didn’t sit here and say okay no I’m
going to say this I’m gonna put it in
this order I want you and I have a
relationship that moves you this whole
set of programs comes from my ability to
say I’m confident I know I can reach
this person if I didn’t believe that you
and I couldn’t have this conversation
right now
but sometimes I don’t feel confident
sometimes I don’t feel like I know what
I’m gonna say next have you ever been
there what I do at that time is act as
if I know what I’m doing which is a
useful approach now you might say well
you’re teaching people to be confident
but not confident I Got News for you if
you’re confident enough you can develop
the competence but if you’re competent
and you don’t have confidence you’ll
never succeed there are many competent
people who could accomplish incredible
results but they’re missing the
confidence am I suggesting to you to be
foolhardy know what I’m suggesting to
you is learn how to turn on the
confidence rapidly use enough of it to
learn what you need to know to be
competent and effective and produce the
results but you’d be surprised how much
more you know then you realize if you
really get yourself in the right state
of mind does that make sense
try it try moving your body in a
confident way that try it right now
please stand up again if you’re in the
car it’ll be a little bit more difficult
oh no no don’t sit back down some of you
started to stand up and you’re sat back
now don’t do that I’m there I’m watching
I’m telling you stand up
what I want you to do is just try
something stand the way you be standing
if you fell unstoppably confident breed
the way be breathing if you felt
unstoppably confident really go for it
put the gun of expression on your face
like you’d have if you were unstoppably
confident and make some gestures
actually move your hands out with some
powers if you’re trying to make a point
with real power and what you know that
what you’re gonna say is gonna be
effective and just notice how that feels
say something say yes and the tone of
voice is somebody who is totally
confident don’t lose yes with some power
and just feel that feels in your body
get a sense of it turn on more intensity
than you would normally use when another
person just feel it in your body so you
feel what it’s like you want to be able
to turn it on just by turning your body
on this is critical with this as a power
you can go from being afraid to strong
in a matter of moments
now try something really stupid and
silly while you’re standing there I’d
like you to walk around your room and
the way I’d like you to do that is I
want you to imagine there’s a cape
shooting off the back of your back I’m
gonna have this call we call this a cape
walk now if nothing else has felt stupid
up until now this one is guaranteed to
assist you in this process what I want
you to do is stand up pretend there’s a
cape back there shoulders are back and I
want you to walk around just walk around
a circle but like you got this cape
flowing back there with a sense of pride
and power they go I’m not gonna do this
listen only those who are truly secure
can participate in this exercise go for
it try and come on walk around and just
notice it it feels like seriously walk
around and knows how it feels to have a
cape on your back and from that state
even though it seems humorous try it
right now why are you listening to me
walk around and feel that feels like
there this cape flowing off your back
there and notice what happens in terms
of your confidence even though you may
be laughing do you feel a little
stronger
are you more upright you feel more alive
just know this you can sit back down now
don’t sit on your cape
bottom line is this if you are making
gestures with certainty if you’re moving
with certainty with some acceleration
with some power if you speak with that
kind of tempo you will feel confident no
matter how you’re feeling a few moments
ago if you want to feel like you have a
lack of confidence move not only slowly
because slowly could still be confident
move slowly but Moo
with hesitation speak with hesitation
and within a short period of time you
can cause yourself to not only feel
bored with yourself but also to actually
feel like you can’t accomplish anything
in essence remember this using your
physical body effectively can put you in
a state of confidence no matter what was
happening around you no matter how
intense the situation no matter how
scary no matter how difficult you always
have that resource
don’t ever say to yourself again one of
the dudes break out of that Jail if you
don’t feel like you have confidence
create it right now it’s not a thing
that somebody gave you years ago it’s
not something you missed out on it’s
something you create by the way you
speak by the way you move by the way you
gesture that’s one here’s number two
control your mental focus remember what
you focus on is gonna determine how you
feel so if you focus constantly on how
things might not work out and you look
at in your brain all the possibilities
of well what this doesn’t work or what
if that doesn’t happen if that’s your
mental focus of course you’re gonna lack
confidence
remember we experience whatever we focus
on so if you’re focusing on how things
won’t work you’re gonna feel the pain
that you associate to that you’re gonna
create a tremendous amount of doubt and
then it usually becomes a
self-fulfilling prophecy you don’t get
what you want let me give you a kind of
a simple example I’d like you to try
something please listen and please do
this what I want you to do is think of
something you really want to have happen
in your future something like to have or
do or be and what I’d like you to do is
hope hope that you’ll get this to happen
in your life okay try it
think of something you really want in
your life something you really want to
have happen and I hope it’ll happen
notice how it feels when you hope it’ll
happen
mamie knows what you say to yourself and
you’ll hope something will happen now
when I want you to do is get out of that
state completely get out stay for a
second and now let’s have you think
about the same thing you want to have
happen in your life but this time I want
you to expect that it will happen
absolutely totally expect it know it
okay and when you know it’s gonna happen
I want you to notice what happens to the
pictures in your mind as you think about
it what’s different when you notice the
difference in your body absolutely
expect it will happen you expect this
will occur you absolutely know it now I
got a question for you is there a
difference in how you feel in your body
first of all and I think you’ll find the
answer is yes in addition is there a
difference in even how you visualize
these two things in your mind
there are several distinctions that I
make usually when I ask people what the
difference is between they’re hoping and
they’re expecting invariably on number
one of distinction is people tell me
things like well I noticed that when I
was hoping that the picture was dim or
it was dark it was gray or his black and
white or or it was two pictures I saw
myself succeeding but I also saw the
possibility of failing verses when I
expected I saw just one picture I saw it
happening interesting when you focus on
it just happening you feel confident
when you focus on it might happen or it
might not happen you don’t feel so
confident is that fair to say also when
people focus on things that they’re
expecting many times they put it in
color giving that commonly comes up is
people say things like well when I was
hoping I felt kind of passive and when I
was expecting I felt active I felt like
I needed to do something interesting was
that true for you the reason is whatever
we focus on we get so if you’re focusing
on two possibilities your brain is
getting different neural associations
it’s going could be painful could be
pleasurable your brain doesn’t know what
to do it doesn’t feel confident but when
you expect and focus on one result you
say this is what it is I’m going to
accomplish this I expect it immediately
your level of self confidence goes up
and you feel active immediately because
your brain says hey if I do this I can
get some pleasure in my life does that
make sense that’s the process we’re
talking about we must control our focus
and one way to do it of course is to
control our focus by controlling the
questions we ask ourselves invariably
people who have a lot of doubt ask
questions are created they say things
like well could I really get this done I
wonder or god I wonder if this will get
screwed up too versus coming from the
place of saying how can I get this done
or better what’s the best way I can get
this done see when something comes up
for me if I want to be confident I’ll
say gosh do you think I can really pull
this off ask myself what’s the best way
to get this done and enjoy the process
now by doing that listen to the
presupposition there the presupposition
is my mind is gonna focus on how to get
it done I’m gonna start expecting it’s
gonna get done I’m gonna feel confident
versus saying will it work or will it
not in which case I start focusing on
two different possibilities and I lose
my confidence they follow me
good now third way that we can control
our focus is just to change our core
beliefs we’ve already talked about how
to do this over and over again if you
walk around in life believing that the
only way you can feel confident is if
you’ve already accomplished something
you got a problem you’re limiting
yourself to the number of things you can
ever feel confident about and succeed in
other words some people say well how can
I be confident when I’ve never done it
before
listen I feel confident all kinds of
things I’ve never done before you say
well that’s because you’re a screwed up
no that’s not why it is it’s because I
come from a belief system that says this
that if I can imagine it I can achieve
it so if I can even imagine it I know I
can achieve it and that allows me to be
confident plus I have a belief system
that says if I’m committed there’s
always a way to make it work
and no matter how tough the situation is
if I don’t know how to make it work
somebody else does and I can get their
help
so I come from that place and that
allows me to be confident I know I can
get help I know if I’m committed there’s
a way to do it and I know that anything
in the past I’ve really been able to
imagine accomplishing and finding a role
model for I can’t accomplish
hey listen everything you do now you
once weren’t good at everything you do
now there was a time when you had not
done it why wait to get confident
besides that I know I can be confident
about what I’m about to begin because I
know look if it doesn’t work out I’ll
learn something and that makes me feel
confident because what that learning
will allow me to be better in the future
in other words set yourself up to be
able to be confident again I’m not
suggesting me foolhardy I’m just telling
you how to turn confidence on when you
need
and most the time you do need it so a
key question a lot of people ask me is
well how can I create that level of
belief I understand I can change my body
but how can I create that belief so I
wouldn’t have to work at it well there’s
a simple process that I teach people I
call it my success cycle and it for me
is my way of explaining why people who
succeed seem to continue to succeed and
get even stronger and people who fail
seem to go down a downward spiral why do
the rich get richer and the poor get
poorer
not just term in terms of rich or poor
financially but rich meaning mental
emotional social spiritual intellectual
physiological and financial I put a copy
of the drawing of my success cycle there
on your summary now if you take a look
at it you’ll see that there are four
elements that I think affect the quality
of our lives and I’ve got them
represented there by those four boxes up
in the top left hand corner there you
should see the word potential what’s the
potential of any human being I
personally believe it absolutely is
unlimited none of us even come close to
scratching our real potential the second
element that affects human performance
is our actions up there in the Box in
the right hand corner the third element
that affects performance are the actual
results that we’ve gotten in other words
what’s the impact of our present actions
and potential being utilized and finally
the fourth element that affects
performance is our beliefs and you’ll
see that down in the left hand corner in
that box and you notice that all these
boxes have arrows that connect them and
they’re all pointing in a particular
direction going clockwise as if this was
a continuous cycle how does it work well
number one what’s the potential of any
human being again unlimited but do most
people’s results in life that bottom
right hand corner box and most people’s
results reflect that level of potential
I would say no way what’s the problem
you might say oh I see what is Tony it’s
that second box at the top they don’t
take enough what action I think that’s
true in many cases but that’s not the
only problem there are a lot of people
who go out there and take a lot of
action and still get lousy results why
action by itself is great but it is not
enough hey if you’re in sales and you go
out make a hundred cold calls because
you’re doing lousy but you go out win a
state of mind we don’t expect
gonna buy and you turn to people and say
things like you wouldn’t want to buy
anything from me would you maybe you
don’t say that verbally but maybe your
face says that because you don’t expect
them to is that gonna affect your result
you better believe it’s going to you’re
gonna get lousy results in other words
success starts with our beliefs if you
look at that bottom left hand box that
is the core of your performance think
about it
see the potential is there but if for
some reason you start out with some
learning beliefs like well I don’t have
that much self-confidence anyway or I
don’t have the background or I’ve never
done this before so I probably won’t
succeed anyway if you have that belief
are you likely to tap a lot of your
potential highly unlikely now if you
don’t think you’re gonna succeed you’re
not using much potential are you likely
to take massive action
hardly now when you tap a little bit of
potential and you only take a little bit
of action what kind of results do you
get a little bit of results if any now
what does that do to your brain in your
beliefs your brain goes see I told you
so now you have this reinforcing belief
pattern because it points back to that
experience so what happens you have even
less belief it’s happy even less
potential you take even less action if
that’s possible you get even worse
results and now you’re truly locked into
the downward spiral to the point where
now you start looking at how can you do
the very least to get by that’s called
death rattle to personal success the
opposite is also true – sometimes people
have an experience in life where for
some reason they get a result or
something happens and they begin to
absolutely believe not just hope but
know that they can accomplish something
when that happens whether it because you
changed your body or you had a new
experience you’re gonna tap a lot more
potential when you know you’re gonna
succeed aren’t you and therefore you’re
gonna probably take a lot more action
knowing you’re gonna succeed you’re
inspired you’re gonna go for it when you
take a lot of action and use a lot of
your potential what kind of results you
get usually great results when you get
great results what does that need your
belief your brain goes mmm see I told
you you would succeed and sure enough
now your beliefs even stronger so what
do you do you tap even more potential
you take massive action and you get even
greater results what happens your
believes even stronger and now you’re in
that success
Michael you’re in that place well you
literally have momentum that drives you
to a whole new level
that’s how beliefs are formed you might
say well how can I get results though
what do I do if I’m on the downward
spiral
well you don’t change your potential
that’s always there you don’t just take
action although that’s a great first
step you’ve got to change your beliefs
and that one of the easiest ways to do
that is change your results in advance
you might say what do you mean well let
me give you an example would you please
stop what you’re doing right now and do
this exercise with me change your focus
and pay a hundred percent attention
you’re gonna like this here’s what I’m
gonna do please stand up just for a
moment come on stand up there come on
and what I’d like you to do is put your
feet together so they’re pointing
straight ahead then what I want you to
do is just take your right arm and bring
it straight out in front of you and
point your right index finger directly
in front of you so you’re pointing
straight ahead when I say now what I’d
like you to do is turn clockwise as far
as you can comfortably without
stretching yourself or pushing yourself
or really hurting yourself okay ready go
ahead and turn clockwise now as far as
you can and just notice where you end up
good now come back again okay drop your
right arm close your eyes and what I
want to do is something really simple
some simple neuro societal conditioning
now it’s gonna be simpler than anything
we’ve done so far all I want you to do
is imagine that you’re bringing your
right arm back up again and I want you
to imagine it so vividly that you
actually feel as if and see your hand
coming up in front of you straight out
pointing in front of you again in other
words don’t actually do it but make it
so real that it feels as if it’s
happening and you can see it occurring
then in your mind’s eye see and feel
yourself turning clockwise again only
this time going twice as far and make it
effortless and expect to enjoy it good
and then come back around in your mind
and again in your mind see and feel your
arm coming up in front of you with your
finger pointing straight ahead and when
I say now turn clockwise and see and
feel no don’t actually do it but make it
so real it feels like it’s happening see
and feel yourself again turning and this
time going three times as far as you did
the first time
excellent and now do it a third time do
it very rapidly and feel and expect
yourself to go almost four times as far
will you turn almost all the way around
very good now open your eyes bring your
right arm back up physically this time
with your finger pointing straight ahead
and when I say now turn clockwise and go
as far as you can without hurting
yourself and watch how much further you
go this time go for it if you’re like
most people you’ve gone much further in
fact the average person goes at least
1/3 further than they did before so I
got a question for you go ahead and have
a seat
my question is this what happened here
did your potential change no you always
had the potential to turn that form did
you like make major changes in your
actions no way you didn’t make it major
changes in your actions but your results
did change
why because by reversing in your mind
over and over again you conditioned your
mind to believe to feel certain then it
could go much further you created an
association in your nervous system it
said this will feel good and I can go
further and now you’ve gone much further
in fact if you did it again you could go
even further again so this is a perfect
metaphor for what has to happen in life
if you want to succeed you need to
rehearse over and over succeeding until
it’s so real for you your brain begins
to believe it now you’ll tap or
potential you’ll take better action in
real life you’ll get better results then
we’ll reinforce your belief and now
you’re off and running does this make
sense this is the way to create lifelong
unstoppable self-confidence this is what
I did for myself because I was on the
downward spiral all I did was create the
results in my head so vividly I began to
believe them when I believed them I
tapped more potential I took more action
I started to get those real results in
my life emotionally economically and my
relationships and virtually every area
of my life and let me leave you with two
more things on confidence one if you
really want to be confident know what
causes people to lack in it focusing too
much on yourself and not enough on other
people will guarantee that you’ll lack
confidence what do I mean I mean some
people lack confidence because they pick
themselves apart they spend all day
every day
analyzing themselves why did I do this
why don’t I do that how come I never
accomplish these things they ask lousy
questions they get lousy answers and
they create a tremendous amount of
self-doubt you won’t have more
confidence stop analyzing yourself so
much and focus on other people and how
you can contribute to them and as you
start giving to other people you’ll feel
more confident about what you can even
do for yourself that makes sense
and finally this you can feel confident
if all you do is remember some of the
things you’ve accomplished in your life
you are a successful competent person
you’ve done a lot of things in your life
extremely well no matter who you are
what your background is there are things
in this world that you are really good
at things you’ve really accomplished in
your life that you’ve got to be proud of
every human being I meet I know is my
superior because I know all of us in
life have focused our attention on
various things and whatever you focused
on a lot you’re good at and every human
being I meet in my life I know that I’m
superior to in some way as well that
makes me feel confident as well knowing
I can learn from other people and that I
can give – so in order to help yourself
really have reasons to feel confident
not just put yourself in state but to
feel like you got reasons all you’ve got
to do is manage your memories better
pull out some of your memories of tough
situations in your life well you didn’t
think you could pull it off but you
turned it around you have some of those
don’t you situations where you think I
can never figure a way to pull this off
and yet you did you need to remember
more of those and less of the times and
you felt overwhelmed what I want you to
do is take out your success journal and
your assignment for DES is simple I want
you to come up with five of your
greatest successes in life things where
you’ve really turned it on maybe some
situations where it looked really dark
looked really difficult and you didn’t
know how you’re gonna pull it off but
you did and all I want you to do is
write down a paragraph or so about each
one of those in other words pull out of
your memory files some of the references
that can show you that you deserve to be
confident that you’re competent and
confident that you can make things
happen even in the toughest of times and
use those examples to remind yourself in
the future that whatever’s going on you
can find a way do that today and have
some fun filtering through your memories
and picking five of your favorites
[Music]
you’ve ever had in your body whether it
be fear anxiety concern depression
frustration or ecstasy power unstoppable
‘ti confidence success those emotions
any emotion you feel comes from the way
you use your physical body the only way
you can feel anything is by the way you
move the way you breathe your facial
expressions so if you’re not feeling
confident you don’t have to
intellectually try and pump yourself up
because it doesn’t always work
I’m sure you’ve tried it time to go well
I need to be confident I know I should
be confident but you’re still not there
well let me tell you the quickest way to
get confident is to change your
physiology radically today’s focus is on
how to eliminate self-sabotage you know
when I talk to people about succeeding
in their lives really making their goals
and dreams a reality invariably they say
you know I really go for it but just
somehow manage to screw things up for
myself just what I’m about to really
make things happen all of a sudden
whammo I don’t show up for a key meeting
or I say the wrong thing or I treat
somebody mean or I just don’t follow
through and I don’t understand it I
don’t know why I keep sabotaging myself
in this way hey sabotage only comes for
one reason and we said this over and
over again and we’re gonna keep saying
it because it is the foundation to
understanding human behavior if you’re
sabotaging yourself it means you’re
stopping yourself from following through
right why would you do that take a wild
guess because you associate more pain to
following through you’re sabotaging
yourself as a way of stopping yourself
from doing something that you think on
some level is gonna create a lot of pain
in your life now some people think
succeeding is gonna create pain it’s
gonna make sure they feel alone or
separate from other people remember
we’ve talked about this so as they start
to get close to succeeding
wham-o they sabotage why cuz their brain
notices that hey the more I succeed
people around me don’t seem to get too
jazzed about it when I fail they go oh
come here gosh let me talk to you how’s
it going but when they succeed they go
yeah easy for you buddy
well that kind of conditioning no wonder
people sabotage we’ve got to take
control back in a way we take control
back again
as we’ve done over the last two tapes of
conditioning ourselves is to change our
associations to the thing that we’re
sabotaging now let me bring up another
point that I think is equally maybe even
more important that is this a lot of us
jump to conclusions about sabotage you
know a lot of people say well gosh you
know I just keep sabotaging my success
and when I say to them is are you
sabotaging your success or are you just
doing stupid things what I mean by that
is not everything you do that takes away
from your possibility of succeeding as a
result of self sabotage sometimes you
just make poor decisions and you don’t
want to start making up in your head
that there’s this giant pattern
dominating your life and a lot of people
do that
for example this woman in a seminar
recently stood up and she said well gosh
I just sabotage myself all the time I
said well what do you mean she said well
you know like the other day she said I
was late for work for the second time I
said well what does that mean she goes
well I was late and that screws things
up I must be sabotaging myself I saw
maybe it just got caught up and what you
were doing she goes no I think I
sabotage myself I said well why else she
said well because not only was I late
but also I forgot some of my things at
home so I wasn’t just late I left my
books at home so I couldn’t have conduct
the appropriate meeting I know are
sabotaging I said well how often does
this happen she goes well I don’t know
maybe once or twice a month I said well
maybe ma’am you’re not self sabotaging
maybe you’re just not paying attention I
mean so be careful about generating this
as a generalization in your mind does
that make sense don’t get caught up and
creating a belief system when maybe
something’s not there on the other hand
if you do have a pattern realize that
any pattern you have including self
sabotage still comes back to one thing
human beings no matter what we’re doing
including sabotaging ourselves we do it
for a positive intent I want you to get
that anything we do we do for a positive
intent for example if you smoke
cigarettes you’re not doing it to try
and create cancer in your body and
destroy yourself that’s not the intent
the intent is your brain long ago linked
up hey if I’m bored or if I’m frustrated
or if I’m feeling some kind of pain of
some sort that this is a way to distract
myself this is literally a way to get
rid of the pain
and create some pleasure that’s what
your brain is learn to do so the intent
was smoking is not to try and sabotage
you to sabotage the physical sabotage
that obviously cigarettes create for us
is not about creating sabotage it’s
about creating pleasure and avoiding
pain you follow me we do the same thing
with alcohol we do the same thing of use
drugs you do the same thing if you watch
TV too much you do the same thing if you
don’t show up for meetings there is
always a positive intent your brain is
trying to do something that’s good for
you in the form of avoiding pain and
getting pleasure so what’s the challenge
well the challenge is in our lives we
many times sabotage ourselves because
we’ve got this approach avoidance thing
you’ve heard me talk about so much in
these tapes where we have mixed neural
associations where we sabotage a
relationship why because on the one side
remember we’ve linked pleasure if I get
a relationship it’s gonna be so great
others personal loves me and I can be
with this person and we can share so
much of life together and yet on the
other hand we’ve had experiences where
it’s meant pain and so our brain fries
we start to go in the relationship it
seems good and then all of a sudden our
brain goes oh oh but that might mean
pain and also we get these mixed
sensations or a brain doesn’t know is it
gonna mean pain or is it gonna be in
pleasure when our brain doesn’t know it
stops everything it tries to stop the
process of progress does that make sense
I give you a classic example I was
reading in a book of an example of how
our associations can drive us crazy and
what it talked about was an experiment
that was done with rhesus monkeys where
they put them in a special cage and what
they did is in the cage they put LED
yellow and green squares well after
several days the experimenter set it up
so that the red squares in the cage gave
off intermittent shocks that will cause
the monkey immediate pain well you can
imagine the monkey became pretty anxious
and pretty soon and learned to avoid the
red squares in almost any cost
well next the experiment had caused the
red and the yellow squares to give off
intermittent shocks and the monkey began
to act as if he was a manic depressive
why because no matter where he went he
seemed to get pain no matter what he
tried he tried we thought would work
tried but he didn’t work he’s got pain
he started alternate between hyper
anxiety and depression and withdrawal
the monkey soon learned of
the red and the yellow squares and then
all the squares were electrified well
the little monkey began to bite itself
to beat its head against the bars to
defecate on itself you might say little
monkey been driven crazy now that’s a
horrible example and I have absolute
contempt for that kind of abuse of
animals or people but what I also want
to point out is that this is exactly
what some people do to each other this
is exactly what some people do on their
own head and some people create this
experimental cage in their brain where
they literally begin to link pain to
everything in life we are the ones that
create the connections though we’re the
ones that establish the shocks because
no matter what happens in your life what
you associate to things is your choice
and at least after this program it is
you don’t have to be at the effect if
you notice that you’ve begun to wire to
relationships a red square called pain
you can get rid of it because you can
know that that is a generalization not
all relationships equal pain and so
you’ve got to eliminate those negative
associations otherwise you create your
own experimental box and you pay the
ultimate price that never needs to
happen to you you have the skills in
this program and if you’re not sure
about them listen to a tape again and
apply them you can take those
experiences that were painful and use
the erasure technique and destroy it so
you don’t ever associate pain again to a
relationship maybe you can even get it
where it’s somewhat humorous or you’ve
at least learned something or you can
ask yourself better questions and say
okay it may have felt painful then but
that was only one relationship and what
did I learn so I won’t have pain in the
future it’s not all red squares are
painful if that one was and what can I
learn from it so the next red square is
pleasurable or so I can rewire the red
square so it supports me I just finished
doing a date with destiny seminar this
last weekend before I did this taping
with you and the interesting thing
happened is a man walked up to me and he
said mr. Robbins I think I should tell
you
that I’m into self-sabotage I said oh
really that sounds pretty exciting is it
what I said what am i doing I just
interrupted his pattern a little bit
start to break it up he said well no I’m
serious I said well I can see you’re
very serious I said well what do you
mean he said well for the last few years
I’ve been working very hard at getting
out of my body I said getting out of
your body he said yes I said what do you
mean he said well in the last six months
I’ve been in three car accidents I said
well that’s pretty amazing he’s sitting
you know what else I said what he said
I’ve been in the hospital four or five
times for fainting spells I’ve also
fallen off a ladder I also fell when I
was exercising and I said well I said
how do you know that that means you’re
trying to get out of your body I said I
don’t agree he said what do you mean I
said listen if you want to get out of
your body you would have pulled that off
a long time ago I mean that’s pretty
easy I mean all you need is a good gun
or you know nice nice big knife from you
could do it quickly I mean if you really
were committed to getting out of your
body who had done that a long time ago
obviously this self-sabotage you’re
talking about has a positive intent what
is it you’re trying to get out of this
behavior he said well I don’t know I
said well if you didn’t know he said I
don’t know I guess maybe I just want to
know that people love me
I said hmm interesting he said god I
never even realized that till just now I
said see people on savage that you know
trying to kill yourself that’s absurd
the bottom line is you want to feel
loved and I bet just like the example I
talked about with you earlier in these
tapes with jackknife when we talked
about that guy who slammed his hand
through the glass and was bleeding and
the woman who was rejecting him all
sudden is making love to him I said a
long time ago I told him that story and
I said you know a long time ago you
obviously linked up that if you get
yourself hurt and get in the hospital
especially you got these people to come
and tell you how much they love you and
be with you and be worried about you but
I got to tell you something that isn’t
love that’s obligation he looked at me
kind of funny I said that’s what it is
it’s obligation it’s pain they don’t
want to come see you they feel like they
have to and they’re guilty I said
they’re not giving you love in fact a
lot of those people probably hate you
because they do that well you talk about
interrupting his pattern started to D
focus his eyes stare I look inside
what am i doing I’m getting him to link
what
Payne to his present pattern so his
brain will want to change it I said
listen if you want love there are much
better ways and you’re much more
intelligent person this you don’t have
to sabotage him this way you could get
it just bite you know the best way to
get love give it see be loving to people
give them so much love that they have to
give you love back I said there’s a law
in life it’s called reciprocation what
you put out people feel like they got to
give it back I said some people stay in
relationships with people that they like
but don’t love and the reason is they
feel stuck as the other person who loves
them so much that they just oh they
can’t get out they give love back I said
listen if you really want love start
pouring it out so deeply and so
powerfully to so many people it’ll come
back to enfold and he looked around I
said and if you do that you have no pain
and you have lots of pleasure you do the
other one you keep breaking body parts
people come they’re obligated they think
God would have schmuck how many more
times is he gonna quit get in a car
accident what is he stupid but they
wouldn’t say that doofus I did this over
and over again until I conditioned him
to link the new pattern I said to him as
well look if you were expressing love
while you’re expressing it what are you
feeling they said Wow
I so that’s interesting so you mean you
could get what you want the minute you
give it his brain went wow what a
concept
here’s a whole new way now will this
will help him to change his whole life
well he believes it will we’ll know in
six months if he hasn’t had too many
more accidents the pot of my unless he’s
just like blind or something and that’s
part of the problem the point is this
any pattern of self-sabotage comes out
of a positive intent do you hear me on
this we’re always trying to get
something that’s good for us even people
that commit suicide do it for a positive
intent in their brains mind their brain
says hey suicide being dead would be
less painful than being alive which I
have a hard time personally believing
but in the moment people who believe
that commit suicide most people never
commit suicide because killing
themselves is just too painful so what
do they do they just beat themselves up
a lot you don’t need to do either one
you can free yourself from self-sabotage
right now by knowing from this day
forward that if you ever start to
sabotage yourself 1 don’t jump to
conclusions and assume that because
you’ve done some
a few times and it didn’t work out last
minute you screwed something up that
it’s the specter called self-sabotage
that’s coming to find you try another
approach
maybe it’s you’re just not paying
attention maybe you’re not focusing
maybe it’s got some poor habits you know
it may not be a self-sabotage pattern so
don’t jump to that conclusion for just
bad habits refocus and decide what you
do want to accomplish and to if it
clearly is a pattern where you are
subconsciously sabotaging yourself
screwing things up
hey get excited don’t get upset say hey
look my brain is doing what it does best
it thinks it’s keeping me out of pain
and give me some pleasure but I just got
to teach my brain a better pattern
that’s all so what’s the intent and
that’s how you eliminate self-sabotage
so let’s go through the steps real
quickly one identify a behavior that’s
keeping you from getting your goals
something that’s stopping you were
holding you back first you got
identified that stepping into 1 2 once
you’ve identified it ask yourself what
is the positive intent here what is my
brain trying to give me so for example
if you know you’re about to go up to
somebody and ask him for a date and then
all of a sudden you shut down and you
can’t even talk what’s the positive
intent well my guess would be that your
brain is trying to protect you from
being rejected it’s saying well if he
doesn’t say anything can’t be rejected
rejection is pain I don’t want pain does
that make sense
so that’s why you can’t think in that
moment but see you got to teach your
brain otherwise you got to go in once
you find out that what the positive
intent did you go well it’s trying to
protect me from rejection then you go to
step 3 get some leverage on yourself so
that you can make the change you know
how to do that we’ve done it over and
over again that is teach your brain but
hey if I don’t change this thing I know
you’re trying to help me out of your
brain I know you’re trying to keep me
from the pain of rejection but by me not
going up and expressing how much I’m
attracted it’s costing me relationships
that could give me a lot more pleasure
it’s a little bitty pain but not being a
relationship is big pain I gotta explain
this to your brain you gotta have a
little conversation in your head the way
to do it is on paper sit down and write
down all the pain you’re gonna get if
you don’t change this pattern and all
the pleasures you’ll get by making the
pattern work real simple step 4
interrupt the pattern and there are lots
of ways to do that we’ve talked about
many the simplest one that we’ve used
and
last day or two of course is the eraser
technique so how do we use it well
see yourself beginning to go into a
situation where you’re sabotaging
yourself another would see yourself
start to approach let’s say an
attractive person and you you see
yourself start to choke up only this
time watch it happen in scramblin be
outraged it’s the key to interrupting a
pattern is to do something your brain
would never ever expect and you look
rapidly over and over and over and over
again what that does is totally fry the
old pattern that used to stop you
and of course Step five then is install
a new pattern condition yourself to have
new feelings what do you do see yourself
over and over going up and making the
connection with this person and feeling
the pleasure that comes from that so you
clearly teach your brain pain comes from
not doing it pleasure comes from doing
it and that old pattern I can’t run
anymore I’ve forgotten what the heck it
is I scrambled my brain simple humorous
basic way to change and eliminate
self-sabotage something you can easily
do I want to make one of the point and
that is some of the most successful
people have patterns of self-sabotage so
remember if you find yourself doing
something that doesn’t seem to be
supporting you in the long term remember
at some level your brain thinks it’s
supporting you at least in the short
term that’s why it’s doing it don’t feel
bad about a no go oh gosh Here I am this
failure some of most successful people
that I’ve interviewed and worked with
have had self-sabotage it’s just a
pattern we once in a while get you can
just change it now it’s very easy so
here’s your assignment pull out your
success journal and before you turn the
tape over just identify do you have a
place in your life where you have a
tendency and by the way that’s all this
self-sabotage stuff yes we don’t want to
make it into a thing it’s not a thing
it’s just a tendency it’s just a pattern
that once in a while you run so is there
a place in your life where you have a
tendency to start to sabotage things
when it gets to good for example
relationship gets to a certain level and
your brain goes uh-oh if I get too
connected if I love this person too much
what if they leave me oh my gosh then I
have pain so I better sabotage it first
you understand the kind of thing I’m
talking about here so identify if
there’s a tendency some place that’s
number one to don’t feel bad about it
instead feel good get excited saying my
brain is awesome my brain here is doing
a good job of what it believes it needs
to do to help me to avoid pain and gain
pleasure so feel good about your brain
it means it’s doing its job
three get some leverage though to make a
change get your brain to associate and
teach your brain by writing down here’s
all the things I miss out on because of
this tendency and really get your brain
to see that there’s major pain in
sabotaging and make sure your brain also
says make a list here’s all the pleasure
I get by making a change so your brain
has got both the stick and the carrot
it’s got leverage to want to make the
shift for then what you need to do is
now simply interrupt the pattern and the
interrupt the pattern the resilient ways
to do it again but use the erase your
technique us since we that’s what we’ve
been using for the last two days real
simple process think about the sabotage
you’ve done and make it humorous run
those kinds of scenarios over in your
head and turn them into cartoons back
and forth back and forth back and forth
until when your brain things of it it
kind of laughs and sees that this is
ridiculous where it doesn’t run the
pattern the same way anymore
and finally five rehearse achieving the
result you want without the
self-sabotage in other words rehearse
achieving the success you want and make
sure you feel the pleasure of succeeding
and do it over and over again till your
brain links hey this really works this
is really gonna last this is something
that I really want in my life and the
self-sabotage pattern or tendency will
disappear so do this and we’ll talk
about how to create unstoppable
self-confidence
creating unstoppable self-confidence
self-confidence it’s something people
talk about all the time when they say
why they’re not succeeding over and over
I hear people say I just don’t have
enough confidence
listen confidence is not something you
have it’s something you create and you
can create it in any moment in time a
sense of confidence is nothing but a
sense of power within yourself a sense
of certainty that you can pull something
off and you can create that feeling
literally in a moment it’s not something
that you live with there’s no one that
I’ve ever met that no matter what
situation they’re in is always confident
everybody gets knocked off kilter at
times the key is can you turn the
confidence on when you need it so you
can get the most out of yourself does
that make sense so far so you’ve got to
remember that feeling confident is
nothing but a state of mind and you can
change and create any state you want at
any moment in time no matter what’s
going on around you let me give you some
specific examples there are three
primary ways that you can create
self-confidence at any moment in time to
get the most out of yourself and produce
the results you really want approach
number one you’re familiar with it’s
called physiology you’ve got to remember
that any feeling you’ve ever had in your
body whether it be fear anxiety concern
depression frustration or ecstasy power
unstoppable ‘ti confidence success those
emotions any emotion you feel comes from
the way you use your physical body the
only way you can feel anything is by the
way you move the way you breathe your
facial expressions so if you’re not
feeling confident you don’t have to
intellectually try and pump yourself up
because it doesn’t always work
I’m sure you’ve tried it time to go well
I need to be confident I know I should
be confident but you’re still not there
let me tell you the quickest way to get
confident is to change your physiology
radically listen in our seminars around
the country those unleash the power
within programs we take people through a
first evening we call fear into power
and it’s an experience we get you to
change your conditioning and feel
totally confident in an area you
normally totally afraid of so at the
broadcast site we use a fire walk
experience where everyone walks across
the fire between 1,200 and 2,000 degrees
burning hot coal
and in the theaters we have people
actually learn how to break through wood
karate style and they do in about 15
minutes
and it requires not only confidence as
you might guess but competence to do
something that most people take two or
three years to learn how to do in a few
minutes now the purpose of this is to
get people in a state of being totally
strong a confident even though they were
totally afraid lacking confidence only
moments before let me tell you something
to get yourself across a bed of burning
hot coals or to smash through some wood
even though you might be tiny and small
but what is much bigger than you’ve ever
done before I got to tell you something
to do that you got to make a major
change in your state major now let me
tell you we do that the number one way
we do this is we get people to move
their bodies or the level of intensity
and power that they probably never
experienced before remember earlier in
these tapes I said to you that emotion
is created by motion the way you move
your body physically the way you
breathed your facial expressions
instantly affects your emotional state
the way you feel and the way you think
so if you need confidence you must move
in a confident way you must literally
put yourself at level 10 or above
remember those conversations so what I
do with people is literally I’ll take
somebody who comes up to the fire and
they go oh gosh I really don’t think I
could do this and I say and I couldn’t
do it either if I talk like you right
now stand up breathe strong take a huge
deep breath in blow it out hard what I
want you to say the word yes and then go
yes is it no no say yes and I have him
yelling I go yes say it again yes and
pretty soon they feel incredibly strong
and I say walk and I go okay and it’s
like instantly a moment ago they were
totally afraid now they are the
confidence to do it the only difference
was changing their state of mind and
emotion by changing the way they were
using their body but I do it radically
major explosive changes in other words
if I was gonna make a gesture I wouldn’t
just like reach my hand out toward you
I’d snap it out there that’s the kind of
state of confidence I’m talking about
are you following me in other words
you’ve got to move deliberately as if
you are absolutely totally in control
you know you can create any result you
want if you meet someone who’s confident
you know it before they open their mouth
don’t you can’t you tell by the way they
move by the way they speak listen what
if
when you turn these tapes on I said well
I want to thank you for listening
I’m 20 Robbins and want to share with
you over the next 30 days how you could
have well you know absolutely total you
can go get rid of this guy what am i
doing what’s going on here who is this
guy’s he on drugs what’s the deal see
the bottom line is I communicate rapidly
because I’m confident is that I’m
competent know confident that’s what I’m
talking about hopefully I’m competent
too but the bottom line is I’m just
letting it go out of that state of
confidence though ideas pop up this
whole set of tapes have been designed to
help you get results without limits I
didn’t sit here and say okay no I’m
going to say this I’m gonna put it in
this order I want you and I have a
relationship that moves you this whole
set of programs comes from my ability to
say I’m confident I know I can reach
this person if I didn’t believe that you
and I couldn’t have this conversation
right now
but sometimes I don’t feel confident
sometimes I don’t feel like I know what
I’m gonna say next have you ever been
there what I do at that time is act as
if I know what I’m doing which is a
useful approach now you might say well
you’re teaching people to be confident
but not confident I Got News for you if
you’re confident enough you can develop
the competence but if you’re competent
and you don’t have confidence you’ll
never succeed there are many competent
people who could accomplish incredible
results but they’re missing the
confidence am I suggesting to you to be
foolhardy know what I’m suggesting to
you is learn how to turn on the
confidence rapidly use enough of it to
learn what you need to know to be
competent and effective and produce the
results but you’d be surprised how much
more you know then you realize if you
really get yourself in the right state
of mind does that make sense
try it try moving your body in a
confident way that try it right now
please stand up again if you’re in the
car it’ll be a little bit more difficult
oh no no don’t sit back down some of you
started to stand up and you’re sat back
now don’t do that I’m there I’m watching
I’m telling you stand up
what I want you to do is just try
something stand the way you be standing
if you fell unstoppably confident breed
the way be breathing if you felt
unstoppably confident really go for it
put the gun of expression on your face
like you’d have if you were unstoppably
confident and make some gestures
actually move your hands out with some
powers if you’re trying to make a point
with real power and what you know that
what you’re gonna say is gonna be
effective and just notice how that feels
say something say yes and the tone of
voice is somebody who is totally
confident don’t lose yes with some power
and just feel that feels in your body
get a sense of it turn on more intensity
than you would normally use when another
person just feel it in your body so you
feel what it’s like you want to be able
to turn it on just by turning your body
on this is critical with this as a power
you can go from being afraid to strong
in a matter of moments
now try something really stupid and
silly while you’re standing there I’d
like you to walk around your room and
the way I’d like you to do that is I
want you to imagine there’s a cape
shooting off the back of your back I’m
gonna have this call we call this a cape
walk now if nothing else has felt stupid
up until now this one is guaranteed to
assist you in this process what I want
you to do is stand up pretend there’s a
cape back there shoulders are back and I
want you to walk around just walk around
a circle but like you got this cape
flowing back there with a sense of pride
and power they go I’m not gonna do this
listen only those who are truly secure
can participate in this exercise go for
it try and come on walk around and just
notice it it feels like seriously walk
around and knows how it feels to have a
cape on your back and from that state
even though it seems humorous try it
right now why are you listening to me
walk around and feel that feels like
there this cape flowing off your back
there and notice what happens in terms
of your confidence even though you may
be laughing do you feel a little
stronger
are you more upright you feel more alive
just know this you can sit back down now
don’t sit on your cape
bottom line is this if you are making
gestures with certainty if you’re moving
with certainty with some acceleration
with some power if you speak with that
kind of tempo you will feel confident no
matter how you’re feeling a few moments
ago if you want to feel like you have a
lack of confidence move not only slowly
because slowly could still be confident
move slowly but Moo
with hesitation speak with hesitation
and within a short period of time you
can cause yourself to not only feel
bored with yourself but also to actually
feel like you can’t accomplish anything
in essence remember this using your
physical body effectively can put you in
a state of confidence no matter what was
happening around you no matter how
intense the situation no matter how
scary no matter how difficult you always
have that resource
don’t ever say to yourself again one of
the dudes break out of that Jail if you
don’t feel like you have confidence
create it right now it’s not a thing
that somebody gave you years ago it’s
not something you missed out on it’s
something you create by the way you
speak by the way you move by the way you
gesture that’s one here’s number two
control your mental focus remember what
you focus on is gonna determine how you
feel so if you focus constantly on how
things might not work out and you look
at in your brain all the possibilities
of well what this doesn’t work or what
if that doesn’t happen if that’s your
mental focus of course you’re gonna lack
confidence
remember we experience whatever we focus
on so if you’re focusing on how things
won’t work you’re gonna feel the pain
that you associate to that you’re gonna
create a tremendous amount of doubt and
then it usually becomes a
self-fulfilling prophecy you don’t get
what you want let me give you a kind of
a simple example I’d like you to try
something please listen and please do
this what I want you to do is think of
something you really want to have happen
in your future something like to have or
do or be and what I’d like you to do is
hope hope that you’ll get this to happen
in your life okay try it
think of something you really want in
your life something you really want to
have happen and I hope it’ll happen
notice how it feels when you hope it’ll
happen
mamie knows what you say to yourself and
you’ll hope something will happen now
when I want you to do is get out of that
state completely get out stay for a
second and now let’s have you think
about the same thing you want to have
happen in your life but this time I want
you to expect that it will happen
absolutely totally expect it know it
okay and when you know it’s gonna happen
I want you to notice what happens to the
pictures in your mind as you think about
it what’s different when you notice the
difference in your body absolutely
expect it will happen you expect this
will occur you absolutely know it now I
got a question for you is there a
difference in how you feel in your body
first of all and I think you’ll find the
answer is yes in addition is there a
difference in even how you visualize
these two things in your mind
there are several distinctions that I
make usually when I ask people what the
difference is between they’re hoping and
they’re expecting invariably on number
one of distinction is people tell me
things like well I noticed that when I
was hoping that the picture was dim or
it was dark it was gray or his black and
white or or it was two pictures I saw
myself succeeding but I also saw the
possibility of failing verses when I
expected I saw just one picture I saw it
happening interesting when you focus on
it just happening you feel confident
when you focus on it might happen or it
might not happen you don’t feel so
confident is that fair to say also when
people focus on things that they’re
expecting many times they put it in
color giving that commonly comes up is
people say things like well when I was
hoping I felt kind of passive and when I
was expecting I felt active I felt like
I needed to do something interesting was
that true for you the reason is whatever
we focus on we get so if you’re focusing
on two possibilities your brain is
getting different neural associations
it’s going could be painful could be
pleasurable your brain doesn’t know what
to do it doesn’t feel confident but when
you expect and focus on one result you
say this is what it is I’m going to
accomplish this I expect it immediately
your level of self confidence goes up
and you feel active immediately because
your brain says hey if I do this I can
get some pleasure in my life does that
make sense that’s the process we’re
talking about we must control our focus
and one way to do it of course is to
control our focus by controlling the
questions we ask ourselves invariably
people who have a lot of doubt ask
questions are created they say things
like well could I really get this done I
wonder or god I wonder if this will get
screwed up too versus coming from the
place of saying how can I get this done
or better what’s the best way I can get
this done see when something comes up
for me if I want to be confident I’ll
say gosh do you think I can really pull
this off ask myself what’s the best way
to get this done and enjoy the process
now by doing that listen to the
presupposition there the presupposition
is my mind is gonna focus on how to get
it done I’m gonna start expecting it’s
gonna get done I’m gonna feel confident
versus saying will it work or will it
not in which case I start focusing on
two different possibilities and I lose
my confidence they follow me
good now third way that we can control
our focus is just to change our core
beliefs we’ve already talked about how
to do this over and over again if you
walk around in life believing that the
only way you can feel confident is if
you’ve already accomplished something
you got a problem you’re limiting
yourself to the number of things you can
ever feel confident about and succeed in
other words some people say well how can
I be confident when I’ve never done it
before
listen I feel confident all kinds of
things I’ve never done before you say
well that’s because you’re a screwed up
no that’s not why it is it’s because I
come from a belief system that says this
that if I can imagine it I can achieve
it so if I can even imagine it I know I
can achieve it and that allows me to be
confident plus I have a belief system
that says if I’m committed there’s
always a way to make it work
and no matter how tough the situation is
if I don’t know how to make it work
somebody else does and I can get their
help
so I come from that place and that
allows me to be confident I know I can
get help I know if I’m committed there’s
a way to do it and I know that anything
in the past I’ve really been able to
imagine accomplishing and finding a role
model for I can’t accomplish
hey listen everything you do now you
once weren’t good at everything you do
now there was a time when you had not
done it why wait to get confident
besides that I know I can be confident
about what I’m about to begin because I
know look if it doesn’t work out I’ll
learn something and that makes me feel
confident because what that learning
will allow me to be better in the future
in other words set yourself up to be
able to be confident again I’m not
suggesting me foolhardy I’m just telling
you how to turn confidence on when you
need
and most the time you do need it so a
key question a lot of people ask me is
well how can I create that level of
belief I understand I can change my body
but how can I create that belief so I
wouldn’t have to work at it well there’s
a simple process that I teach people I
call it my success cycle and it for me
is my way of explaining why people who
succeed seem to continue to succeed and
get even stronger and people who fail
seem to go down a downward spiral why do
the rich get richer and the poor get
poorer
not just term in terms of rich or poor
financially but rich meaning mental
emotional social spiritual intellectual
physiological and financial I put a copy
of the drawing of my success cycle there
on your summary now if you take a look
at it you’ll see that there are four
elements that I think affect the quality
of our lives and I’ve got them
represented there by those four boxes up
in the top left hand corner there you
should see the word potential what’s the
potential of any human being I
personally believe it absolutely is
unlimited none of us even come close to
scratching our real potential the second
element that affects human performance
is our actions up there in the Box in
the right hand corner the third element
that affects performance are the actual
results that we’ve gotten in other words
what’s the impact of our present actions
and potential being utilized and finally
the fourth element that affects
performance is our beliefs and you’ll
see that down in the left hand corner in
that box and you notice that all these
boxes have arrows that connect them and
they’re all pointing in a particular
direction going clockwise as if this was
a continuous cycle how does it work well
number one what’s the potential of any
human being again unlimited but do most
people’s results in life that bottom
right hand corner box and most people’s
results reflect that level of potential
I would say no way what’s the problem
you might say oh I see what is Tony it’s
that second box at the top they don’t
take enough what action I think that’s
true in many cases but that’s not the
only problem there are a lot of people
who go out there and take a lot of
action and still get lousy results why
action by itself is great but it is not
enough hey if you’re in sales and you go
out make a hundred cold calls because
you’re doing lousy but you go out win a
state of mind we don’t expect
gonna buy and you turn to people and say
things like you wouldn’t want to buy
anything from me would you maybe you
don’t say that verbally but maybe your
face says that because you don’t expect
them to is that gonna affect your result
you better believe it’s going to you’re
gonna get lousy results in other words
success starts with our beliefs if you
look at that bottom left hand box that
is the core of your performance think
about it
see the potential is there but if for
some reason you start out with some
learning beliefs like well I don’t have
that much self-confidence anyway or I
don’t have the background or I’ve never
done this before so I probably won’t
succeed anyway if you have that belief
are you likely to tap a lot of your
potential highly unlikely now if you
don’t think you’re gonna succeed you’re
not using much potential are you likely
to take massive action
hardly now when you tap a little bit of
potential and you only take a little bit
of action what kind of results do you
get a little bit of results if any now
what does that do to your brain in your
beliefs your brain goes see I told you
so now you have this reinforcing belief
pattern because it points back to that
experience so what happens you have even
less belief it’s happy even less
potential you take even less action if
that’s possible you get even worse
results and now you’re truly locked into
the downward spiral to the point where
now you start looking at how can you do
the very least to get by that’s called
death rattle to personal success the
opposite is also true – sometimes people
have an experience in life where for
some reason they get a result or
something happens and they begin to
absolutely believe not just hope but
know that they can accomplish something
when that happens whether it because you
changed your body or you had a new
experience you’re gonna tap a lot more
potential when you know you’re gonna
succeed aren’t you and therefore you’re
gonna probably take a lot more action
knowing you’re gonna succeed you’re
inspired you’re gonna go for it when you
take a lot of action and use a lot of
your potential what kind of results you
get usually great results when you get
great results what does that need your
belief your brain goes mmm see I told
you you would succeed and sure enough
now your beliefs even stronger so what
do you do you tap even more potential
you take massive action and you get even
greater results what happens your
believes even stronger and now you’re in
that success
Michael you’re in that place well you
literally have momentum that drives you
to a whole new level
that’s how beliefs are formed you might
say well how can I get results though
what do I do if I’m on the downward
spiral
well you don’t change your potential
that’s always there you don’t just take
action although that’s a great first
step you’ve got to change your beliefs
and that one of the easiest ways to do
that is change your results in advance
you might say what do you mean well let
me give you an example would you please
stop what you’re doing right now and do
this exercise with me change your focus
and pay a hundred percent attention
you’re gonna like this here’s what I’m
gonna do please stand up just for a
moment come on stand up there come on
and what I’d like you to do is put your
feet together so they’re pointing
straight ahead then what I want you to
do is just take your right arm and bring
it straight out in front of you and
point your right index finger directly
in front of you so you’re pointing
straight ahead when I say now what I’d
like you to do is turn clockwise as far
as you can comfortably without
stretching yourself or pushing yourself
or really hurting yourself okay ready go
ahead and turn clockwise now as far as
you can and just notice where you end up
good now come back again okay drop your
right arm close your eyes and what I
want to do is something really simple
some simple neuro societal conditioning
now it’s gonna be simpler than anything
we’ve done so far all I want you to do
is imagine that you’re bringing your
right arm back up again and I want you
to imagine it so vividly that you
actually feel as if and see your hand
coming up in front of you straight out
pointing in front of you again in other
words don’t actually do it but make it
so real that it feels as if it’s
happening and you can see it occurring
then in your mind’s eye see and feel
yourself turning clockwise again only
this time going twice as far and make it
effortless and expect to enjoy it good
and then come back around in your mind
and again in your mind see and feel your
arm coming up in front of you with your
finger pointing straight ahead and when
I say now turn clockwise and see and
feel no don’t actually do it but make it
so real it feels like it’s happening see
and feel yourself again turning and this
time going three times as far as you did
the first time
excellent and now do it a third time do
it very rapidly and feel and expect
yourself to go almost four times as far
will you turn almost all the way around
very good now open your eyes bring your
right arm back up physically this time
with your finger pointing straight ahead
and when I say now turn clockwise and go
as far as you can without hurting
yourself and watch how much further you
go this time go for it if you’re like
most people you’ve gone much further in
fact the average person goes at least
1/3 further than they did before so I
got a question for you go ahead and have
a seat
my question is this what happened here
did your potential change no you always
had the potential to turn that form did
you like make major changes in your
actions no way you didn’t make it major
changes in your actions but your results
did change
why because by reversing in your mind
over and over again you conditioned your
mind to believe to feel certain then it
could go much further you created an
association in your nervous system it
said this will feel good and I can go
further and now you’ve gone much further
in fact if you did it again you could go
even further again so this is a perfect
metaphor for what has to happen in life
if you want to succeed you need to
rehearse over and over succeeding until
it’s so real for you your brain begins
to believe it now you’ll tap or
potential you’ll take better action in
real life you’ll get better results then
we’ll reinforce your belief and now
you’re off and running does this make
sense this is the way to create lifelong
unstoppable self-confidence this is what
I did for myself because I was on the
downward spiral all I did was create the
results in my head so vividly I began to
believe them when I believed them I
tapped more potential I took more action
I started to get those real results in
my life emotionally economically and my
relationships and virtually every area
of my life and let me leave you with two
more things on confidence one if you
really want to be confident know what
causes people to lack in it focusing too
much on yourself and not enough on other
people will guarantee that you’ll lack
confidence what do I mean I mean some
people lack confidence because they pick
themselves apart they spend all day
every day
analyzing themselves why did I do this
why don’t I do that how come I never
accomplish these things they ask lousy
questions they get lousy answers and
they create a tremendous amount of
self-doubt you won’t have more
confidence stop analyzing yourself so
much and focus on other people and how
you can contribute to them and as you
start giving to other people you’ll feel
more confident about what you can even
do for yourself that makes sense
and finally this you can feel confident
if all you do is remember some of the
things you’ve accomplished in your life
you are a successful competent person
you’ve done a lot of things in your life
extremely well no matter who you are
what your background is there are things
in this world that you are really good
at things you’ve really accomplished in
your life that you’ve got to be proud of
every human being I meet I know is my
superior because I know all of us in
life have focused our attention on
various things and whatever you focused
on a lot you’re good at and every human
being I meet in my life I know that I’m
superior to in some way as well that
makes me feel confident as well knowing
I can learn from other people and that I
can give – so in order to help yourself
really have reasons to feel confident
not just put yourself in state but to
feel like you got reasons all you’ve got
to do is manage your memories better
pull out some of your memories of tough
situations in your life well you didn’t
think you could pull it off but you
turned it around you have some of those
don’t you situations where you think I
can never figure a way to pull this off
and yet you did you need to remember
more of those and less of the times and
you felt overwhelmed what I want you to
do is take out your success journal and
your assignment for DES is simple I want
you to come up with five of your
greatest successes in life things where
you’ve really turned it on maybe some
situations where it looked really dark
looked really difficult and you didn’t
know how you’re gonna pull it off but
you did and all I want you to do is
write down a paragraph or so about each
one of those in other words pull out of
your memory files some of the references
that can show you that you deserve to be
confident that you’re competent and
confident that you can make things
happen even in the toughest of times and
use those examples to remind yourself in
the future that whatever’s going on you
can find a way do that today and have
some fun filtering through your memories
and picking five of your favorites
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