one of the biggest challenges for people
everybody wants a better quality of life
everybody wants life to be greater but
almost all of us get stuck at times or
something stops us something prevents us
from doing something that we really are
capable of doing whether it’s turning
around our body or shifting a
relationship or turning around our
finances or just maybe just being happy
and fulfilled at a different level we
get stuck with a belief of how we’re not
supposed to be what we’re not supposed
to do what people won’t accept what
we’re not capable of or maybe we get
stuck in an emotional pattern just being
pissed off or frustrated or worried or
sad or overwhelmed sometimes we get
stuck you know not so much and anything
but sin just some habits of doing things
a certain way and what a breakthrough
simply is is that moment in time where
there’s an opening and the opening can
come from a conversation it can come
from meeting somebody that inspires you
it can come from an insight it can come
from watching a movie and being moved
emotionally just that right moment it
usually comes because something kind of
clicked inside of us something snapped
us and made us look at life through a
different filter in a different way and
you know it’s a real break you because
you take that little insight that little
distinction that little moment or maybe
that little or big emotion inside of you
that says no more I’m going to change
this and suddenly you do something to
make your life better you break out of
the impossibility of life has to lead us
right life is controlling me and you
start to take back control of your life
you start to make the shift that creates
the quality of life that you really
deserve everybody experiences extreme
stress at some point in their life I
don’t care who we are
something happens outside our control
and it hits our life and it knocks us on
our tail it might be a health stress it
could be something with your family it
could be economic career
emotional that happened biochemical
there’s so many things it could be an
environmental situation that nothing to
do with you every one of us in our
lifetime experiencing extreme stress and
these days because of the economy and
the way we respond to it
the majority of people experiencing some
form of extreme stress least according
to polls stress doesn’t come from the
facts stress comes from that we get the
facts yes those things that happen but
the real question is if we fight what’s
happened we got to probably get aside
what are we gonna do with what’s
happening in our life how are we gonna
take this how do we get a mole this how
we’re going to turn a life around
because when you come up with a new
meaning get a new life
we’re going to take a look at something
from a different perspective we’re going
to ask you this question what is the
single force that controls the quality
of your life if there was one gift our
Creator has given us or the universe
whatever you believe what is it what is
the one power that you have right now in
this moment that can change everything
you haven’t I haven’t we all have it
this one singular individual power that
can change anything in our life
regardless of what’s happened to us that
I know you know the answer the answer is
the power of choice the one thing we
have in this world is we can’t control
the events but we can choose what to
focus on we can choose what things mean
and we can choose what to do those three
choices those three decisions really
control our life
it’s not so much the conditions of our
life that control our destiny as much as
the decisions of our life try for a
second to think about something think
about your life and just think about are
there a few decisions if I were to ask
you two decisions you’ve made your life
you know that if you would have made a
different decision you would have a
totally different life I mean it may be
a life may have been better it may have
been worse I don’t know but you would
have different life I’m not asking you
to to buy into the fact that you should
have known the answers I’m just want you
to see the power of a decision how is
your life better today because the
decision you made years ago not just
negative ones think about it sometimes a
little decision changes your whole life
like you decide one day to go to a
certain school and you go to that school
or to go eat someplace and you bump into
person that becomes the love of your
life or you meet someone and you sign as
a result of that that you’re going to
become a photographer or a software
engineer or a business person or a
doctor and dentists whatever they
impacted you but you made the decision
that’s what I really want that’s what
that’s what my life’s going to be about
and that decision has affected so much
of your life what you do how you live
your life I spend your time what you
earn or don’t earn you know who you
attract into your life beliefs you have
all come from some of these little
decisions what you decide to eat from
your dinner plate each night certainly
determines your physical destiny right
we all know that at least to a certain
extent I know there’s certain out that’s
genetics but I’m talking about the stuff
you like
truck so decisions equal destiny it’s
not our conditions
it’s our decisions so if we want a new
life a lot of new experience you’ve got
to make new choices if you don’t like
the way your career is your business is
change it if you don’t like your body
change it you don’t like your
relationship change you first because if
you change it you’ll bring you to the
next one maybe it’s time to change it
too but change yourself first if you
want to change it in your life you have
the choice so there is no right or wrong
I just want to make you aware in this
breakthrough session that everything in
our life changes the moment we make a
decision I mean a real decision the
decision is when you cut off any other
possibility you commit to something with
everything you’ve got and you take
action but the big decisions start with
little decisions like what am I gonna
focus on because whatever you focus on
you’re gonna feel if you focus on all
the things that have been done to you in
your life of course you’re gonna feel
like how you focus on all the amazing
coincidences sort of happened things
that maybe they were guided maybe
without but things happen and because of
that you met this person that’s your
best friend your husband your wife but
because of that you have this ability or
because you were there that day God you
missed an accident I don’t know what it
is but whatever you focus on you’re
going to feel if you focus on people
don’t care and you look through reasons
why they don’t care and evidence they
don’t care you’ll find it everyone if
you look for evidence that people are
really good people inside at some level
we all care about each other you’ll find
it seek and you shall find the secret is
have you become conscious about your
decision-making because this
breakthrough session is really you want
to change your life make new choices new
life comes from new choices but you got
to make conscious choices
when you make decisions about what to
focus on and what things mean what to do
and your unconscious you get pretty
terrible results usually now we’ve all
done this I do it still we all do but if
you want to change your results you’ve
got to become more conscious in your
decision-making so think about it what
you focus on you will feel whether it’s
true not you focus on our people don’t
care you’re gonna feel they don’t care
second decision you make is what things
mean so you focus on something someone
does and you come up with a meaning and
the meaning is no one loves me the
meaning is they’re trying to take
advantage of men depending on what
meaning you come up with and you get to
choose the meaning of anything for some
people they say this situation happened
with the economy and what that means is
I’m going broke somebody else said the
situation at with the economy guess what
that means I’m going to work harder I’m
going to be more creative it changed
everything everybody else is going to
quit so we’re going to dominate the
marketplace
click be able to do it is this the end
right now or is it the beginning see
whether it’s the end of beginning is
your choice you get to decide because
once you make up a meaning it’s true if
you think this is the end of a
relationship are you going to treat
people the same way as if you think it’s
the beginning of a relationship no way
in fact I tell people if you want to
have a great relationship think about
this treat people like you did in the
beginning of the relationship and there
will be an end in the beginning of the
relationship when somebody says to you
would you take out the trash what do you
say of course take out the trash and
you’re happy to do anything right but
after about six months or six years ago
taking out the trash you go what do you
mean well I look like your janitor take
out your own trash the meaning we give
things is very different so we feel
different and our life is different in
the beginning you’ll do anything for
someone now you make up a new meaning
why should I have to do that
little choices like what to believe
about yourself what to believe about
other people whether this is the end of
the beginning start to affect your whole
life and the third decision we make I
decide with the focus on most of us
unconsciously we decide what things mean
and the third thing we decide is what
are we going to do we decide to quit
because it’s overwhelming we decide to
get strong and focus we decide you’re
going to turn it around decide to wait
and see ultimately your destiny is
determined by what you do so for example
what do you do if somebody comes to you
one day and says you have a tumor again
I have that experience I used that as a
reference point because a lot of intense
experience in my life but that was one
of the more intense ones for sure have
many but that was very intense you know
first what do you focus on you focus on
it’s over do you focus on why me
you give it a meaning that says I’m
going to die what do you do just go
through traditional therapeutic approach
you put yourself at the hands of someone
else do you evaluate this
you get a second or third opinion your
destiny is determined by your decisions
now if your guy like Lance Armstrong
your focus immediately on I gotta find a
solution the meaning you come up with is
this is the ultimate battle what you say
to do is you’re going to exhaust every
possibility
now that doesn’t guarantee you’re going
to succeed but it’s interesting when you
have that kind of a mindset it shifts
you and that’s Armstrong I mean he was
told things like look you got a-you got
tumors here in your brain you got him in
your lungs right you got obviously in
testicles and you ride a bike for a
living that’s pretty tough
but he made it to all those pieces now
am i saying because he made the right
choices again how do you doctors
certainly some grace and everything I
think in life there’s three things
there’s our ability to choose what we’re
focused on or to commit to get a result
to put all our intention and focus into
something
there’s our ability to do the right
things to have the right strategy to
execute and then there’s some grace
there’s what some people call luck some
people call grace there’s if you do the
right thing is over and over again and
with total focus sometimes you know you
get good fortune that comes your way and
you tend to have more good fortune when
you’re totally focused and decisive and
you take lots of action than if you kind
of just sit around and accept things
like like you don’t have a future but
the point of the matter is this guy
turning around what was he like after he
got through this problem after he had
his breakthrough lecture he faced cancer
racing against some other guys seem like
nothing by comparison you’re not much of
a competitor I face death and he goes on
to win Twitter France up to Twitter
press f2 Tour de France breaking every
record in we could ever imagine what do
you do mac decades ago half a century
ago almost now and someone says to you
go to the back of the bus in your
african-american one woman just decided
you know what you can’t take my dignity
for me I can only give that up and I
don’t choose to give it up and I will
not go back to us the answer is no Rosa
Parks changed an entire society because
that day she chose to focus on something
else she gave it a different meaning
this is not a command you do not have
control over me and she decided to fight
and she changed the direction of a
country and many other countries she
started something we forgot that you
don’t have to be famous to have the
ability to change at least your own
personal history change the direction we
go in our life we have
power to choose even if you have it
before you can finally say no one will
put up with that within myself or from
anybody else and here’s what I’m going
to do differently that’s where the
breakthroughs really start to happen now
the question is why do some people stand
their ground and make something change
versus other people just kind of accept
things why do some people make bold
decisions and other people make
decisions that are based on trying to
hang on to what they’ve got
because you can change your decisions
you can change your life when you can
change the force that controls your
decisions you can change anything in
your life at some level we have certain
beliefs and values but if I was going to
make it simple I’d say there’s two
things that determine your choices the
first thing is the state of mind and
emotion you’re in at that moment
think about it have you ever snapped at
somebody you had nothing to do with them
it was just the state you’re in right
you’re frustrated you’re pissed off
about something and in that state of
mind whatever they said got interpreted
to that state and you made up a meaning
like they’re an irritant or they were
interrupting you
they weren’t probably feel bad
afterwards when we get the wrong state
they make the wrong decisions when you
get in a strong empowering state you’ll
make a better decision learning how to
direct your state is a big part of what
my work is with people and it’s a big
part of what I do in my seminars but the
other thing that affects your decisions
would be what I would call your story or
your blueprint we all have kind of a
story about how our life is supposed to
be comes from a set of life experiences
interpretations some people think life
is all about getting theirs
some people think life is about growing
and contributing some people think life
is about making judgments some people
think life is about saving other
people’s lives
some people think life is about being
successful some people think god is the
basis of everything and the way to know
God is to go through life a very
specific way let us set rules and they
follow it and that’s what they believe
whatever your story is whatever your
blueprint your blueprint just another
way of saying whatever you believe is
how your life is supposed to be at some
level we either follow that blueprint or
we fight it if we follow it or we fight
it we’re going to find that we’re gonna
bump into things in life where life
isn’t always the same
or think it should be and that’s we
start to experience stress
[Music]
I really believe life is the dance
between what you desire most and fear
goes that’s where you find where we live
our life the dance between what you want
most of what you fear most that’s that’s
where all that energy is in life so what
does she want she wants to be famous she
wants to be able to sing and have
everyone hear a voice and be able to
touch everyone she wants to contribute
she wants to share a gift and she
definitely wants to be famous and
successful
she needs to be closer to her children
one of the big challenges in life is
oftentimes what we want what we need are
two different things
she has five boys they’re all extremely
young as I’m sure you’ve solved and she
has a husband and while they’re all
supportive of going on this journey
somewhere along the line she lost that
connection to what was most important
now she a bad person to make bad
decisions no good people make bad
decisions when they get lousy states
what our ego gets involved or when we
start believing our story and here was
the story she had being a mom is
important but the bigger gift God gave
me is my singing voice
now once we get seduced into a
particular story and we start to believe
it it takes ahold of our life and it
controls all of our choices and then
pretty soon that choice on top of bad
choice um time a bad choice starts to
affect our life
can you write how many times you’ve made
some choices that you wish like Halle
would have made a different decision
back then and or that no one ever knows
the stupid decisions you made I know I
can relate to that so what I want to
talk to you about today for this brief
little session is how to break through a
crisis crises happen whatever type of
crises you go through again again I know
you’ve had many when we make some
cutters unconsciously and we get
consequences and we make them
unconsciously because we’re trying to
get what we want you don’t really know
what we value most we don’t know what we
need and we find ourselves waking up one
day and going why is my life this way
it’s kind of like life is always calling
to us to constantly grow and prove you
know if you’re going to look at what’s
going to make life work it’s really
simple what makes people happy is
progress
we’re happy we’re progressing if you’re
overweight but you leave today you know
what this breakthrough thing when I got
it today for me more anything else is
I’ve been stuck waiting for some magical
diets and magical exercise find some
magical time in the future when they
have more time there is more than one
more time I don’t need a week late for
that I’m just going to make a decision
today to get started I don’t need to go
out there and go interview 20 trainers
and get online I don’t need somebody
give me a perfect plan I used to pick up
my shoes and start walking I need just
get Sony behind me who just goes wrong I
don’t need a way for perfection I’m
gonna do something right now I choose to
get there I choose the walk I choose the
run I choose to go join a club I’m doing
it now a breakthrough happens the moment
you make a new choice and you don’t have
to wait you just get yourself in a new
state maybe this tape will get your
doing or just have to have a new thought
that says you know what I need choices
in the past I’m overweight because I
chose D this and this I’m not gonna eat
it anymore
I’m changing now you can change your
whole life real fast with just a few
choices but if you don’t make the right
choices eventually you’re going to face
a crisis crisis is when you made so many
poor choices that sooner why your life
shows up and instead of asking gently
for you to change and improve to grow to
make progress to be happy life when it’s
a crisis now demands change it isn’t
asking anymore we borrowed money as a
society and we overspent and we talked
about changing and we knew we had to
change and our crisis happens and guess
what nobody has a choice the game has
changed and what crisis does is it melts
us down it melts us down so that we can
recast our life we can we mold ourselves
and usually on the other side our life
is greater because as we go through that
crisis we have to
nobody everybody wants change nobody
wants to do it everybody I should say
wants progress but nobody wants to
change
everybody wants their life better but
nobody wants to do the push-ups the
running have the economic or emotional
discipline to make it happen
but if you’re watching this right now
and you’re still with me some part of
you wants more and I’m saying to you
choose it and the way you’re going to
choose it is really simple if you’re in
that crisis what keeps you in the crisis
is probably because you’re being
reinforced most people they will eat are
they smoked or they drink or they yell
at people they keep doing it because
they’re rewarded whatever gets rewarded
gets reinforced whatever habit or
behaviors reinforced becomes a habit and
then pretty soon do it long enough it
becomes part of your personality and
pretty soon you think it’s who you are
and you just keep living that one I mean
it’s easy to see this in other people
right it’s easy to see how messed up
they are how easy they could it they
just make some new choices all you gotta
do is turn on the television some news
programs an entertainment program and
you’ll hear detailed descriptions about
some person who is very powerful
celebrity who is doing some stupid thing
why do we see all this stuff on
television why do we hear about every
person you can imagine from Lindsay
Lohan to Britney Spears to only back to
the old days it was Elvis or Michael
Jackson or whoever it is that’s in the
news today and this stage of life in
your country as you’re watching this
it’s because we want to see other people
make bad decisions so we can feel better
about our own
but the reason those people don’t change
Lindsay Lohan she’s got another DUI
she’s putting herself at risk she’s
putting other viewers Gilson she goes to
jail and supposed to be 90 days but
here’s the consequence it goes to two
weeks and before she even gets out of
the jail she makes a deal for an
interview and gets paid a million
dollars when she gets out for the
interview do you think the chances of
her changing when her bad behavior gets
her a million dollars I don’t know she
even makes that for that much time of
acting at this stage what do you think
the chances are when people around her
say it’s not your fault it’s not fair
they treat you unfairly as long as we
have the decision that we’re not
responsible it’s not our fault we can’t
change anything we have no power so I
don’t know if I time you watches of
Lindsay will change but if she did it’ll
be cuz the enablers are gone she’s
taking responsibility and she’s found
something she values more than attention
and money for bad behavior now it’s easy
look at that with her but what about you
and I where you die addicted to our
problems where are you i reinforce so
many people have a big problem listen if
things are going well you say how it’s
going so great your friends go well
that’s great after a while they go well
easy for you but if you got a problem
people hey I understand and we connect
with you where do we get addicted to our
problems if you want to make a new
choice if you want to make a new
decision today you want to have a
breakthrough in summary your life you
got to give up the story that it’s not
and you got to give up the attention and
the love and the connection and the
commiserating that comes with it with
other human beings here’s how you change
five simple quick steps and then I’m
going to give you a little tool but if
you want to you can go online and really
make a change if you’re going to change
your life step one I don’t care if
something has happened to you you know
somebody’s spilled oil all over where
you fish it’s horrific
if disgusting how they’ve dealt with it
but it’s happened you got to deal with
it something’s happen someone your
family has been injured you’ve lost your
job I don’t care what the problem is if
you’re in a crisis step number one see
it as it is but don’t see it worse than
it is now what do I mean by that I don’t
mean beasts and mr. miss positive
thinking right now if you’re spending
time with me you know I’m not about that
I’m not here to tell you go to that
garden and chant there’s no leads
there’s no leads or snow weeds but doing
affirmations not gonna change your life
you got to go see what the weeds are
Paul now my point is simple you’ve got
to see what the problem is but you can’t
make it so horrific that you just give
up today this is the first generation in
almost a hundred years of Americans who
now believe the majority of Americans
now believe that the quality of life for
themselves and their kids in the future
is going to be worse than the past they
have other words nothing to look forward
to 63% of the you
today Wow when you start thinking there
is no future you go into what we call
learned helplessness a place where you
just kind of give up and if you get to a
place a given hop then you have no power
of your life that’s when people get
depressed that’s when people do crazy
stupid things that’s when people want to
turn to drugs or alcohol or sometimes
suicide or just total frustration and
anger and their life starts to do the
opposite to break you it becomes
completely Stocking and pain or an
ongoing suffering if you’re not going to
break out of that we got to see it as it
is we’re not here to be positive
thinking people you got to see what’s
really going on but if you’re overweight
you can’t say to yourself well I’m
big-boned that’s not why you’re
overweight you’re overweight because you
don’t work out you eat certain things
you eat Cheetos all day long watching TV
I don’t know what did you do but I know
it’s not just cuz you’re big-boned you
don’t want to make it so it’s outside
your control or you can’t change it so
see it as it is but don’t see it worse
than it is so they have no reason to try
does that make sense
that’s the first step step two get to
the real truth and deal with it don’t
just see it as it is and not worse than
it is don’t just like balance it but now
get to the truth I mean listen if the
truth is you’ve been trying to get a job
for two years and you truly have worked
every day in a particular industry and
the number of jobs made industry you’ve
shrunk down and you really aren’t
getting that job and you may have look
at the truth the truth is you might have
to retool you might have to say gosh
the industry I’m in is gone I mean gross
simply the simplistic example but for
years vinyl records were around for 85
years there was a gigantic industry and
things can win during the vinyl record
time what happened well there was number
those 8-track tapes or you ain’t enough
to remember those things maybe you know
somebody remembers those things these
big boxes you push it get it out yeah
hey tracks came and went
vinyl records were still here and then
cassette tapes came right and concept’
eighths were smaller and more compact
and more convenient two more seemingly
indestructible and they came over here
and vinyl records were still selling
like crazy you had a job in vinyl
records you kept it but then a little
thing came along called the CD and when
that happened almost overnight you saw
an entire industry been around almost a
century was gone if you were the guy
that worked in the vinyl record Factory
and knew everything about it it was the
second generation didn’t matter it was
over and when now we laugh about a CD
right because everything in this digital
world you can have instantly who wants
to put on a CD pretty rare still
available in vinyl records maybe there’s
a small market of people that are
collectors but it’s gone my point is if
you’re in the bottle record business
you’ve got to tell yourself the truth
you got to see it it is not worse than
it is but you also got to get the truth
and deal with it you got to deal with a
card you’re dealt you’re going to have
to retool you’re gonna have to change
something you might have to move if you
live in the Gulf and I don’t support
anything that’s happened there who could
it’s unconscionable what’s happened with
BP but if you live in the Gulf and
you’re a third-generation fisherman and
you’re now you fish for oysters and
they’re dead you better get to the truth
are they going to be dead for two years
or ten or twenty to the best of your
ability and you might say I can’t do
anything else
I can’t I’m a third generation this is
all I know yes you can get to the truth
and deal with it deal with the card
you’re dealt with you got to deal with
it sure I’m sure illegally but in the
meantime you got to take care of your
family I’m not saying this off-the-cuff
easy because I’ve been in those
situations where it’s impossible it’s
unjust it’s wrong but I still got to
deal with it just like you
I make it sense it’s like you might say
I haven’t lived here Marat you might
have to move you might have to fish
someplace else you might have to get I
know you still got to deal with all the
consequences but you got to take back
control of your life
they’re unjust things that happen but
you got to take control easy for me to
say I’m not sitting in your shoes I get
that but who hasn’t experienced some
form of injustice someplace who’s not
dealt with something unfair who’s not
double something it wasn’t meant to be
unfair but it affected your entire life
your career your finances whatever you
got to tell yourself the truth and you
got to get to those dealing with the
reality right now the longer you wait
the longer the crisis will be if you’re
having an economic crisis got a deal
with it
got a downsize right sighs do whatever
it takes I say okay Tony well so far you
telling me don’t allow myself to make it
so bad I know try see it as is but don’t
make it worse than it is you’re telling
me get to the truth and deal with it
well that’s nice but you know how do I
do that maybe the third step more than
just getting the role model maybe the
more specific is get a vision first get
a vision and get strong that’s why I
think the third step should be your
first tell yourself the truth yes see it
as it is not worse it is tell yourself
the truth and deal with it but the way
to deal with it is say what am I going
to go for there’s gotta be a compelling
future I’ve got to come up with a vision
forever
or a vision for my relationship had
terrible relationships nothing’s work
tell yourself the truth I’ve made poor
choices or had told many self stories
and gave myself excuses or I not have
the courage whatever it is get to the
truth and then get yourself a vision for
what you do want because you have to
have something you’re going to move
towards does that make it sense it
without a vision people perish it says
in a very good book on the good book
there are many good books but that’s a
good one to take a look at we need
something to go for we can deal with any
problem today as long as there’s
something that we can look for in the
future that we can strive for it’ll give
us the emotional and psychological fuel
the juice to keep moving forward
[Music]
so you gotta come up with a vision and a
way to do that we’ll call that step four
get a robot you might get the vision
from a role model you might get the
vision just from coming up with a new
idea but in order to figure out how to
go from where you are to where you want
to be to close the gap from where you
are to where you want to be its best to
learn by other people’s experience
whenever you can so get a role model get
their strategy and go to work get into
action so I’ll give you an example years
ago when I was first starting to try to
figure out how to build myself
financially I grew up at a time when
just as I was starting do well this big
recession happened I remember I was like
29 30 years old I think and maybe 31 and
I was doing okay and then all of a
sudden there all these business
challenges because we went through this
severe recession back in those days and
I remember at the time everybody was
downsizing and freaking out and I
thought you know what I don’t want to
just settle for this I want to find a
way to do well who’s done well and
really tough
that’s why I started doing my homework
those days you know didn’t go out and
use the internet the way you do today he
couldn’t access all that information we
actually went to libraries and did
research in traditional ways an ancient
F to remember those things and I started
hearing about this man named Sir John
Templeton very famous man he’s a man who
became a multi-billionaire as an
investor he started with nothing but
that was interesting is when I started
find out about his story as here’s a guy
that when he’s a young man is called Sir
John Templeton now he was actually an
American originally and he wasn’t sir he
came from a very poor family and he just
decided that in his life he wanted not
only do well financially you want to do
so well he could help other people at
any level that he want and today by the
way he’s passed but before he did he
created the Templeton fund and he also
created a fund that now delivers money
gives money each year Templeton Prize to
people that do good spiritual works and
it’s larger than the Nobel Prize and
that continues to go long the guy
started with nothing and here’s how he
did this season the reason I look for
him as a role model as because he made
all his money and the worst of times he
made all his money when people were
going through the equivalent of the
deepest recession or depression possible
his whole belief was this is different
than almost anybody else you see around
he was pessimism was the secret to
success that what he wanted to do is
make money when people are most
pessimistic when people are optimistic
they want you to pay for their house a
huge sum of money but as they start
getting more and more pessimistic
they think they can never the house is
the worst thing to have they’ll
virtually give you the house will
virtually give you the business and so
he minerals money starting in World War
two when the war broke out and Hitler
invaded over in Europe he took all the
money had and borrowed total money at
ten thousand dollars a total amount he
bought with ten thousand dollars every
stock on the New York Stock Exchange
that was one dollar or less that he
thought might be useful including some
companies that look like they’re going
to be bankrupt but he did it when people
were the most pessimistic because if
you’re call it look like Hitler was
going to take over it didn’t look like
we were all going to be the winners it
looked like Hitler was gonna dominate
more people have that scared they would
give up anything they had just to get a
little bit back and so he bottled the
stock that eventually made him a multi
billionaire became a billionaire because
after things changed after the war just
five years later and the economy started
to surge everything change for him
where do you think he invested next
after World War two where was a country
that was pummeled that was down the
factories were basically turned into mud
Japan you could buy things for pennies
in Japan that would have cost you
hundreds of thousands of dollars before
and he did when everyone was most
pessimistic he went indeed well and then
he sold when the eighties surged and
when everybody thought Japan was the
greatest country on Earth the biggest
businesses he sold made his maximum
profit when people were overly
optimistic did the same thing down in
South America when inflation went crazy
this man spent his entire life basically
having a strategy of how to succeed when
everybody else was scared I tell you
that because he’s a role model what he
did how he did it it’s all in writing
it’s crystal clear he could do the same
but you won’t be able to do it when
you’re telling yourself the sky is
falling it’s
you see it worse than it is you’ll just
give up you won’t do it if you don’t
tell yourself the truth is you know what
this system isn’t working I got to do
something I got to change my finances I
got to change my job I got to read you
if you don’t tell yourself the truth and
deal with the truth the real truth
nothing’s going to happen you won’t ever
even think about a guy like John
Templeton if you don’t have a vision
that says I don’t care how the
environment is I’m going to find a way
to do well and you won’t do well unless
you get a strategy based on a role model
who’s really done it my whole thing is
this if anybody has something you want
they aren’t lucky they did something if
you model them if you take similar steps
you can produce a similar result make
sense and finally fifth step look if you
in a situation where you see it as is
but not worse than it is if you told
yourself the truth will be dealt the
cards you’re dealt with and just decided
you’re going to change it you’re willing
to do what’s necessary if you put
yourself in a place where you got a new
vision and you got yourself strong if
you got a role model and you’ve got some
strategy and you got yourself into
action Step five is give much more than
you expect to receive simple as that
sounds if you find a way to meet
people’s needs in business but an
intimate relationship meeting your kids
needs anybody’s meat the whole game
changes
[Music]
truth is the truth will set you free but
first it’ll piss you off the truth of it
doesn’t feel good but not feeling that
sometimes it will you get your drive to
change things
deal with what is without exaggeration
with total honesty dealing with the
cards coming up with a vision finding a
self a role model that shows your
strategy work your tail off give give
give keep changing your approach and you
can get where you want to go make sense
now that might sound like a lot so to
get you started here’s what I’d like you
do for this session start out if you
want by taking a big crisis or problem
you haven’t going through these steps
say it okay what’s really true and let
me exaggerate let me stop the
exaggeration let me not make it worse
than it’s just let’s define what’s true
let’s stop the story just here’s what it
is we got this much financial challenge
we got this physical challenge covered
it and then go to step two all right
let’s find out the truth let’s get the
details let’s forget the details and
figure out what we’re going to do then
here’s where we’re going to go this is
where we’re going to eventually get to
it might take us longer to get where we
want to go but we’re going to get here
who’s done it that we can model that we
can follow the steps in who can coach us
and let’s just work our tail off and
change everything
[Music]
but to give you a quick jump sometimes
when you’re in the middle of crisis or a
crises multiple crises lots of things
going on simultaneously
it feels been overwhelming so you might
not know robot that’s a Tony I don’t
know who well not hard enough these days
to find role models or come to an event
yeah I promise you we can show you
plenty of role models like you for a
living but what you can view right away
is you can model yourself think about
almost everyone alive it’s been through
more than one tough tough time crisis or
multi crises where you’re having a
problem financially and I’m a part of
your family and you’re having health
problems all simultaneously those
intense ones right but if you’re
standing still today most of us found a
way to get through and if you don’t you
know someone who went through a tough
time
my grandmother aunt and uncle somebody
the greatest way to make that change
happen when you break out of a
breakthrough you break out of a problem
you break out of crisis is model
yourself
[Music]
what’s been one of the toughest times in
your life that you did get through
there is a financial situation
yeah maybe it was an intimate
relationship where you were crushed you
thought you’d never make it through all
the pain you went through there maybe it
was a physical challenge or health
challenge maybe it was a lack of
confidence or ability I don’t know what
it was but what was it just incredibly
tough time that you did make it through
you go back and you think about that
situation what told you through what
pulled you through that situation what
did you what did you learn what
distinction or did you get a strategy or
was it a belief or did you meet someone
who helped you or was it just somehow
you clicked into your faith kick
yourself into gear what pulled you
through those tough times
was it a person was in place was an idea
was a distinction was a belief what was
he
[Music]
what did you do to go from where you
were to where you are today
what’d you do to get over that situation
what did you do to get through that
situation what did you do to turn it
around what action did you take who did
you go learn from what skill did you go
get what what did you physically do kind
of give us the description of what you
did because we all want to know because
you can provide us a pathway you may
have been through a crisis that someone
else is going through right now and they
could learn from you because they can
learn the shortcut
because you went through this crisis
whatever the crisis was how are you
stronger or are you more compassionate
because you felt that suffering you
don’t want anybody else to feel it or
are you more hopeful because you know
you need to do that so you can make it
through the things or are you in a
situation where you’ve got a skill today
that you didn’t have the wouldn’t have
had if it wasn’t for that situation that
made you have to grow or you just
happier today because you have a
contrast of what life could be like and
so now you appreciate the simple moments
how are you better mentally emotionally
physically financially or spiritually
today because you went through the
crisis even though you wouldn’t want to
go through it again you know anybody
else to go through it how did it
actually serve you
[Music]
who here’s ever failed
whose here’s failed miserably at
something you wanted to achieve when you
failed why did you fail
I fail because okay good I didn’t have
enough money what else didn’t have
didn’t have the right technology good
sir why’d you fail I had the wrong
people they say I had the wrong leader
isn’t that interesting it was the
economy bad economy not enough time
didn’t have enough time now I ask this
question for the first time about seven
years ago I was at this place called Ted
anybody watching those Ted videos and
Ted didn’t have a website everything of
that stage it was a very small program
was done for about 800 people in Silicon
Valley
most of them billionaire investors the
founders of Yahoo founders of Apple the
founders of the whole series of
companies and I was brought in and they
say you got 18 minutes which my shortest
seminars for days so I’m like
you got to be kidding me
and then when they four they introduced
me the guy who he was introducing me
wasn’t the guy invited me he was an
English guy we’re good friends today
we’re back and he didn’t know who I was
he thought I was a motivator so he got
up and he said first thing he said to me
before I went out there goes not nice to
meet you don’t have people do that jump
in I heard you
so he wants me to take these dead people
and leave them dead in this dark room
sitting and I watched before I got up to
speak and there’s a woman who was a
genius and she was three teaching string
theory which is one the most complex
things on earth and they gave her
eighteen minutes and people were
shuffling their feet and at the end they
didn’t even clap for her they were
assholes they all thought their did
his thing
these are all the achievers of the world
so I walk out there and the introduction
he gives me as Tony Robbins was like a
motivator and he’s helped a lot of
sports people so maybe he can kind of
create some energy here he a very
publicized divorce a few years ago
[Music]
I couldn’t believe it really did
say that he wants a TED video he cut
that out cuz he’s embarrassed
I said so I got up afterwards I still
got courage to be here I said that I
didn’t know that my divorce is very
publicized that’s why that’s very happy
tens of millions of dollars I didn’t
come about that I didn’t serve you and
then I jump forgot engage this room so I
ask them question just ask you I said
who hears ever failed and no one raised
their hand the whole room
so I paused and I said I know you’re out
there I can hear their hearts beating
who here has ever failed and I demand an
answer
and who has ever failed and now the
holes they started complain so I said
great when you failed why did you fail
and they said all the things you said
didn’t have enough time didn’t have the
right technology didn’t have the money
didn’t have the contacts you know have
the wrong people the people said with
the wrong leader
[Music]
cuz let’s just do this logically
everything you people have told me I
didn’t have the technology I have the
right contacts I didn’t have the time I
didn’t have money everything you’ve told
me I didn’t have enough Supreme Court
justices those are resources and so
you’re telling me I fail because I
didn’t have the resources and I’m here
to tell you what you already know
resources are never the problem it’s a
lack of resourcefulness is why you
failed because the ultimate resources
are emotional states if you’re creative
enough can you find the answer yes or no
if you’re determined enough can you find
the breakthrough yes or no if you’re
passionate loving enough can you get
someone to help you yes or no if there’s
no way that you’re committed can you
find the money even if you don’t have it
yes or no
so I said creativity decisiveness
passion honesty sincerity love these are
the ultimate human resources and when
you engage these resource you can get
any other resource on earth and I said
so you told me all the resources you’re
missing and you hypnotize yourself into
believing that you don’t have what you
want because you love the resources when
the most successful people in history
had no resources but they were
incredibly resourceful so they got the
researchers resourcefulness is the
ultimate resource
and if you don’t have what you want stop
telling yourself the story because you
don’t the money over time that’s
it’s because you haven’t
committed yourself where you would burn
your boats if you want to take the
island burn your boats
and you will take the audit because
people when they’re gonna either die or
succeed tend to succeed but most of us
give ourselves a way out and that’s why
we don’t have
[Music]
so if you and I really want to know
what’s going to take to get your dream
and make it real it’s to stop all the
things you told yourself at art and I’m
here to tell you what I said at the top
of our discussion 80% of success of
psychology and 20% of mechanics that’s
true of running your business that’s
true of your intimate relationship
that’s true of your body that’s true and
your level of happiness see got to know
the 20% because that gives you the edge
right those strategies but you got to
know the psychology if you’re in
business right now there’s a few things
the choke hold since again how many on a
business I’m real clear really do only
business you’re not thinking about it
you own one raise your hand so I can say
most you don’t impress so if you
own your business
I’ll tell you right now the choke hold
on the growth of your business is you it
is not your people
it is the leader of this organization
the leader is the chokehold and the
chokehold comes in one or two forms your
psychology you think you’ve tried
everything you’ve tried everything but
what works who knows what I’m
talking about here right or it’s a skill
that you’re missing like you really are
incredible writing code but you don’t
know about accounting and finance
and it’s eating your business alive cuz
I got to tell you 96% of all businesses
in a 10-year period of time go under
only 4% make it by the way make it
doesn’t mean that you succeed to have
any money it just means you’re still
standing 4% by the way after 10 years
you’re set right there’s no more
challenges
ever heard of company called Lehman
Brothers right 100 year old company if
you took their gross revenues and added
them up
it’d be a trillion dollars over the
decades a trillion with a T and they’re
no longer here that’s how competitive
the world is today so if you got into
business and you’re in it right now I
love you I respect you as a brother or
sister and I know you’re a crazy son of
a bitch just like me
you have to be who gets in a sport with
a longer you play the more likely you
die you’re a gladiator if you’re in
business a gladiator goes out there and
they know every time I go out I can die
and the longer I stay in the game the
more likely I die but every day they go
out to win that takes an incredible
psychology but in that psychology we
bump onto limits and that’s what you got
a ship and if your psychology is solid
and you got to say where are the skills
I’m missing because that’s equally
important
I created a brand and that’s why I have
the privilege to serve you but that
brand came because I realized early in
my career I get the best ideas in the
world but they’re gonna die on my lips
unless I can market them unless I can
build a brand it is the most important
thing today because the world is made up
of commodities the world is so
competitive if you’re a commodity if
you’re a racer the lowest price you will
be out of business within ten years
probably more like two to five you have
to have something that separates you
from everybody else on earth and until
you find out that something you will be
stressed and you will be struggling but
everybody has it or anybody can create
it that’s my expertise my companies I
started with zero we do more than 5
billion with a bean per year my
companies
I had a mission but I realize I have to
master business or that mission is going
to die and you got to get that too
because otherwise you don’t get one of
the many more for ass off and not have
what you deserve so this is an area that
deserves mastering not dabbling and
probably most of you in this room work
your ass off in your business and your
so working in the business you’re not
working on the business I know you know
the difference and if you do you’re not
getting distinctions that are cutting
edge one right strategy can save you ten
years
but you got to go get it you can’t just
keep doing what you’re doing good and
then pumping yourself back up she got to
get the skills marketing is one of those
skills selecting the right people’s
everything
so knowing how to pick the right people
knowing how to train those people
knowing what you gonna do in sales no
way to go to in markets knowing what
you’re doing the financial side if your
business is everything you have to
master these things you can’t pull
expect your business to either
a breakthrough is when there’s something
you struggle with for a long time you
say you’re going to change you say
you’re going to make it happen you’re
going to lose that weight going to grow
your revenues you’re going to make that
profit you’re going to make something
happy going to find that relationship
you’re going to stop smoking and you
start to get right near the edge
[Music]
and then you pull back who’s done this
multiple times before but then finally
how to break through you broke through
and actually change and say I so jot
down what a break your is and let me
give you three steps of it a
breakthrough is a moment in time that’s
what it is it’s a moment in time it’s a
moment where suddenly what was
impossible becomes possible
for that to happen for the impossibly
compatible and for you to have action
that’s going to get results really I
found over the years any kind of
breakthrough
you’re going to have requires three
things to it and if you never see me
again and you’re ever in a place you say
I’m sick of fighting this I’m sick of
not getting results I want I don’t want
to just learn more I want to break
through if you remember this and go back
to the simple formula and by the way
I’ve made this simple purposely you know
why complexity is the enemy of execution
the more complex you make it the less
likely you’re going to execute I’m so
good at getting people to do things as I
make it so damn simple you can’t miss it
so let’s do it what’s it going to take
that to break through before I tell you
let’s have you think of an area where
you once thought and you finally had a
breakthrough for you person what’s an
area where you push and push and push
you couldn’t do it couldn’t do it and
you finally made yourself do it go
through
this a man once said you tell a lie big
enough loud enough and long enough
sooner or later people will believe you
who said that
Hitler and most of us are Hitler in our
own minds we convinced ourselves with
challenges so when person says well you
know Alicia I’ve tried someone who
doesn’t lost weight they’ll say I’ve
tried come on will they say I tried
everything bel if you tried
everything you’d be fitting strong well
I’ve tried thousands of ways thousands
named them
well tried hundreds name them wife tried
dozens name them why did you these two
stupid things that don’t work over and
over again
mine was I’m big-boned
I am big-boned but I was thirty-eight
pounds heavier with the same bones so we
often say things that are true to back
things up they are true you’re big-boned
but that is not why you’re fat right so
the story keeps us Irma if you know the
relationship you want what’s the story
all the good ones are gone and they’re
gay and I’m not or they’re not getting I
am the story the story is there back
write this down the only thing keeping
you from getting what you want the only
thing keeping you from getting what you
want is the story you keep telling
yourself about why you don’t have it the
only thing keeping you from getting what
you really want is the story you keep
telling yourself about why you don’t
have it yet here’s what I said divorce
your story and marry the truth divorce
your story and marry the truth and don’t
make it when those divorces where you
leave visit with your old past belief
system again divorce it cut it off and
marry the truth the truth will set you
what but you got to develop the
empowering story without that now some
of you think that empathic story is the
one that allows you to be keep going at
what doesn’t work I’m not talking about
a story where you cover your ass and
explain that you’re still going to
achieve you want some day in the future
because no one can argue with that
because if you
not here but really you’re not doing
anything to change significant who knows
what I’m talking about here say hi so
you’ve got to find a story that’s going
to empower you to act a story that’s
going to get you to find the
breakthrough because otherwise with a
lousy story you’ll never find the
strategy or you’ll come up with a reason
why it’s too expensive you can’t get
there you can’t access it or you’ll even
get the strategy and then half-assed
apply it just so you can reward your
story that says it doesn’t work as I
tried it if you want to know the
difference in people’s lives it all
comes down to what are the things that
are must view versus shows so let me
tell you this we said to have an
extraordinary life you gotta have an
extraordinary psychology right
extraordinary psychology means you got
to live in an extraordinary state to be
an extraordinary state you got to
condition your nervous system your body
your physiology and focus to be at their
best do you agree with this yes or no
then to do that though you can do that
why doesn’t everybody not cuz you can’t
with all of the ability is because of
our standing I remember a time early my
career is about 24 I went to do a
seminar in Boston and in those days a
big seminar for me was like 125 people
there was a three-day seminar and we
worked around the clock and people made
such extraordinary changes in their life
at the end of it I was feeling so
fulfilled I was thinking my god in 24
maybe 25 at the time I am so happy
because I have
now my mission in life I’m doing what I
love it’s making a difference in
people’s lives this is shortner so we
finished about midnight on the Sunday
night and around midnight you know I’m
still wound up so I don’t feel like
going to bed so I decided okay you know
let me take a walk here and I decided go
through Copley Square if you don’t do
Copley Square you know it’s pretty neat
but because in Copley Square you can
look up when you see buildings that we
were before we were known as the United
States and beside them you see
skyscrapers that are new it’s pretty
cool place some walk around midnight on
Sunday night there’s nobody in Copley
Square midnight is every night and I’m
walking along and I see this guy in the
distance and he’s kind of stumbling back
and forth between the butter and the
sidewalk they go one trench coming on
his heads down like that he’s all in the
brown bag and I can start to smell and
even for I get brown I’m thinking and
this guy is obviously drunk and as I
started get closer I thought I bet he’s
going to beg me for some money sure
enough whatever you focus our life tends
to happen doesn’t it so sure enough he
gets real close to me and I thought oh
honey wasn’t gonna do it all so they pop
his head it was really good mister it
was really bizarre looking sounding
voice mister did you mind me quieter hot
do I want to reward this behavior and I
thought I don’t want him to suffer you
have this dilemma sometimes you know I’m
not here to judge so usually when I
finally decided I always just give even
the person’s pulling a scam that’s for
them to deal with if I have the ability
than they give and so I thought what
could I teach him something so I asked
him a question back I said is that all
you want is a quarter
zigu yeah just one quarter one gorgeous
man I said really so yeah uncle so I
reached in my pocket and I pull out my
money club and those things are you know
are young just starting to succeed in my
original mentor was a man named Jim Rohn
and when I heard of Jim Rohn yeah it’s a
great guy and Jim told me said Tony look
you’ve come from a poor background you
got a poor psychology you got to change
it he said you know any money some
pretend you do he said start training
your brain conditioning
he said go save all your money get three
hundred dollar bills and put them in the
outside of your money clip even though
you only have five bucks in between them
so every time you pull out you’ll see
that you’ll feel inspired you’ll feel
better he said you’ll feel better you’ll
do better so I was like okay so I did so
I put my money clip and sure enough I
got 300 mils then I made sure he saw the
bills so I’m tearing through that right
looking in between there see if I can
find some change but I made sure he saw
sure enough he’s working at the how to
dog built checking it out I find the
quarter I pull it out taking money to it
my pocket I notice he’s watching my hand
going into the pocket I took the cord
and I looked at him and I said sir
life won’t pay any price you’re asking
then something really engineer took the
cord he looked at the corner he looked
at me he looked in my pocket look back
of the quarter looked at me looked in my
pocket looked at me again hope to the
coral into my pocket looked back at me
and said weird and then shuffled on off
like this and I thought to myself wow
what’s the difference between him and me
I mean I was twenty four twenty five two
time
do what I love most have a mission in
life and he’s in his early 60s drunk on
the street begging for quarters what’s
this
I thought well maybe God’s blessed me
cuz I’m such a good person or not it’s
he’s such a bad person that’s such a
bull and I thought wow maybe the answer
to that question is what I just told him
life will pay whatever price you ask him
you know what’s interesting he got to
ask intelligently and the Bible it says
asking you shall let pretty Deponia you
got to look into it but you know what it
says asking you shall receive but I’m
sure it meant ask intelligently I’m sure
that’s what God met I’m sure he didn’t
mean bitch and you will receive warning
and you will receive I don’t think that
was the instruction now if you can ask
intelligently there might be five items
to that number one you have to ask
specifically wouldn’t you we wouldn’t
ask you know generally people do as
telling me I want more money fine here’s
a dollar get out of here very often
you’re getting what you’re asking for
you just not aware of how generally
you’re asking clarity is power the more
clear you are about exactly what it is
you want the more your brain knows how
to get there
your brain is a servomechanism it’s like
a bomb those banjos missiles they have a
servomechanism so if the target moves it
knows what the target is it follows it
your brain when you condition it was
exactly what to go for and we’ll find a
way to get there
[Music]
you
you
everybody wants a better quality of life
everybody wants life to be greater but
almost all of us get stuck at times or
something stops us something prevents us
from doing something that we really are
capable of doing whether it’s turning
around our body or shifting a
relationship or turning around our
finances or just maybe just being happy
and fulfilled at a different level we
get stuck with a belief of how we’re not
supposed to be what we’re not supposed
to do what people won’t accept what
we’re not capable of or maybe we get
stuck in an emotional pattern just being
pissed off or frustrated or worried or
sad or overwhelmed sometimes we get
stuck you know not so much and anything
but sin just some habits of doing things
a certain way and what a breakthrough
simply is is that moment in time where
there’s an opening and the opening can
come from a conversation it can come
from meeting somebody that inspires you
it can come from an insight it can come
from watching a movie and being moved
emotionally just that right moment it
usually comes because something kind of
clicked inside of us something snapped
us and made us look at life through a
different filter in a different way and
you know it’s a real break you because
you take that little insight that little
distinction that little moment or maybe
that little or big emotion inside of you
that says no more I’m going to change
this and suddenly you do something to
make your life better you break out of
the impossibility of life has to lead us
right life is controlling me and you
start to take back control of your life
you start to make the shift that creates
the quality of life that you really
deserve everybody experiences extreme
stress at some point in their life I
don’t care who we are
something happens outside our control
and it hits our life and it knocks us on
our tail it might be a health stress it
could be something with your family it
could be economic career
emotional that happened biochemical
there’s so many things it could be an
environmental situation that nothing to
do with you every one of us in our
lifetime experiencing extreme stress and
these days because of the economy and
the way we respond to it
the majority of people experiencing some
form of extreme stress least according
to polls stress doesn’t come from the
facts stress comes from that we get the
facts yes those things that happen but
the real question is if we fight what’s
happened we got to probably get aside
what are we gonna do with what’s
happening in our life how are we gonna
take this how do we get a mole this how
we’re going to turn a life around
because when you come up with a new
meaning get a new life
we’re going to take a look at something
from a different perspective we’re going
to ask you this question what is the
single force that controls the quality
of your life if there was one gift our
Creator has given us or the universe
whatever you believe what is it what is
the one power that you have right now in
this moment that can change everything
you haven’t I haven’t we all have it
this one singular individual power that
can change anything in our life
regardless of what’s happened to us that
I know you know the answer the answer is
the power of choice the one thing we
have in this world is we can’t control
the events but we can choose what to
focus on we can choose what things mean
and we can choose what to do those three
choices those three decisions really
control our life
it’s not so much the conditions of our
life that control our destiny as much as
the decisions of our life try for a
second to think about something think
about your life and just think about are
there a few decisions if I were to ask
you two decisions you’ve made your life
you know that if you would have made a
different decision you would have a
totally different life I mean it may be
a life may have been better it may have
been worse I don’t know but you would
have different life I’m not asking you
to to buy into the fact that you should
have known the answers I’m just want you
to see the power of a decision how is
your life better today because the
decision you made years ago not just
negative ones think about it sometimes a
little decision changes your whole life
like you decide one day to go to a
certain school and you go to that school
or to go eat someplace and you bump into
person that becomes the love of your
life or you meet someone and you sign as
a result of that that you’re going to
become a photographer or a software
engineer or a business person or a
doctor and dentists whatever they
impacted you but you made the decision
that’s what I really want that’s what
that’s what my life’s going to be about
and that decision has affected so much
of your life what you do how you live
your life I spend your time what you
earn or don’t earn you know who you
attract into your life beliefs you have
all come from some of these little
decisions what you decide to eat from
your dinner plate each night certainly
determines your physical destiny right
we all know that at least to a certain
extent I know there’s certain out that’s
genetics but I’m talking about the stuff
you like
truck so decisions equal destiny it’s
not our conditions
it’s our decisions so if we want a new
life a lot of new experience you’ve got
to make new choices if you don’t like
the way your career is your business is
change it if you don’t like your body
change it you don’t like your
relationship change you first because if
you change it you’ll bring you to the
next one maybe it’s time to change it
too but change yourself first if you
want to change it in your life you have
the choice so there is no right or wrong
I just want to make you aware in this
breakthrough session that everything in
our life changes the moment we make a
decision I mean a real decision the
decision is when you cut off any other
possibility you commit to something with
everything you’ve got and you take
action but the big decisions start with
little decisions like what am I gonna
focus on because whatever you focus on
you’re gonna feel if you focus on all
the things that have been done to you in
your life of course you’re gonna feel
like how you focus on all the amazing
coincidences sort of happened things
that maybe they were guided maybe
without but things happen and because of
that you met this person that’s your
best friend your husband your wife but
because of that you have this ability or
because you were there that day God you
missed an accident I don’t know what it
is but whatever you focus on you’re
going to feel if you focus on people
don’t care and you look through reasons
why they don’t care and evidence they
don’t care you’ll find it everyone if
you look for evidence that people are
really good people inside at some level
we all care about each other you’ll find
it seek and you shall find the secret is
have you become conscious about your
decision-making because this
breakthrough session is really you want
to change your life make new choices new
life comes from new choices but you got
to make conscious choices
when you make decisions about what to
focus on and what things mean what to do
and your unconscious you get pretty
terrible results usually now we’ve all
done this I do it still we all do but if
you want to change your results you’ve
got to become more conscious in your
decision-making so think about it what
you focus on you will feel whether it’s
true not you focus on our people don’t
care you’re gonna feel they don’t care
second decision you make is what things
mean so you focus on something someone
does and you come up with a meaning and
the meaning is no one loves me the
meaning is they’re trying to take
advantage of men depending on what
meaning you come up with and you get to
choose the meaning of anything for some
people they say this situation happened
with the economy and what that means is
I’m going broke somebody else said the
situation at with the economy guess what
that means I’m going to work harder I’m
going to be more creative it changed
everything everybody else is going to
quit so we’re going to dominate the
marketplace
click be able to do it is this the end
right now or is it the beginning see
whether it’s the end of beginning is
your choice you get to decide because
once you make up a meaning it’s true if
you think this is the end of a
relationship are you going to treat
people the same way as if you think it’s
the beginning of a relationship no way
in fact I tell people if you want to
have a great relationship think about
this treat people like you did in the
beginning of the relationship and there
will be an end in the beginning of the
relationship when somebody says to you
would you take out the trash what do you
say of course take out the trash and
you’re happy to do anything right but
after about six months or six years ago
taking out the trash you go what do you
mean well I look like your janitor take
out your own trash the meaning we give
things is very different so we feel
different and our life is different in
the beginning you’ll do anything for
someone now you make up a new meaning
why should I have to do that
little choices like what to believe
about yourself what to believe about
other people whether this is the end of
the beginning start to affect your whole
life and the third decision we make I
decide with the focus on most of us
unconsciously we decide what things mean
and the third thing we decide is what
are we going to do we decide to quit
because it’s overwhelming we decide to
get strong and focus we decide you’re
going to turn it around decide to wait
and see ultimately your destiny is
determined by what you do so for example
what do you do if somebody comes to you
one day and says you have a tumor again
I have that experience I used that as a
reference point because a lot of intense
experience in my life but that was one
of the more intense ones for sure have
many but that was very intense you know
first what do you focus on you focus on
it’s over do you focus on why me
you give it a meaning that says I’m
going to die what do you do just go
through traditional therapeutic approach
you put yourself at the hands of someone
else do you evaluate this
you get a second or third opinion your
destiny is determined by your decisions
now if your guy like Lance Armstrong
your focus immediately on I gotta find a
solution the meaning you come up with is
this is the ultimate battle what you say
to do is you’re going to exhaust every
possibility
now that doesn’t guarantee you’re going
to succeed but it’s interesting when you
have that kind of a mindset it shifts
you and that’s Armstrong I mean he was
told things like look you got a-you got
tumors here in your brain you got him in
your lungs right you got obviously in
testicles and you ride a bike for a
living that’s pretty tough
but he made it to all those pieces now
am i saying because he made the right
choices again how do you doctors
certainly some grace and everything I
think in life there’s three things
there’s our ability to choose what we’re
focused on or to commit to get a result
to put all our intention and focus into
something
there’s our ability to do the right
things to have the right strategy to
execute and then there’s some grace
there’s what some people call luck some
people call grace there’s if you do the
right thing is over and over again and
with total focus sometimes you know you
get good fortune that comes your way and
you tend to have more good fortune when
you’re totally focused and decisive and
you take lots of action than if you kind
of just sit around and accept things
like like you don’t have a future but
the point of the matter is this guy
turning around what was he like after he
got through this problem after he had
his breakthrough lecture he faced cancer
racing against some other guys seem like
nothing by comparison you’re not much of
a competitor I face death and he goes on
to win Twitter France up to Twitter
press f2 Tour de France breaking every
record in we could ever imagine what do
you do mac decades ago half a century
ago almost now and someone says to you
go to the back of the bus in your
african-american one woman just decided
you know what you can’t take my dignity
for me I can only give that up and I
don’t choose to give it up and I will
not go back to us the answer is no Rosa
Parks changed an entire society because
that day she chose to focus on something
else she gave it a different meaning
this is not a command you do not have
control over me and she decided to fight
and she changed the direction of a
country and many other countries she
started something we forgot that you
don’t have to be famous to have the
ability to change at least your own
personal history change the direction we
go in our life we have
power to choose even if you have it
before you can finally say no one will
put up with that within myself or from
anybody else and here’s what I’m going
to do differently that’s where the
breakthroughs really start to happen now
the question is why do some people stand
their ground and make something change
versus other people just kind of accept
things why do some people make bold
decisions and other people make
decisions that are based on trying to
hang on to what they’ve got
because you can change your decisions
you can change your life when you can
change the force that controls your
decisions you can change anything in
your life at some level we have certain
beliefs and values but if I was going to
make it simple I’d say there’s two
things that determine your choices the
first thing is the state of mind and
emotion you’re in at that moment
think about it have you ever snapped at
somebody you had nothing to do with them
it was just the state you’re in right
you’re frustrated you’re pissed off
about something and in that state of
mind whatever they said got interpreted
to that state and you made up a meaning
like they’re an irritant or they were
interrupting you
they weren’t probably feel bad
afterwards when we get the wrong state
they make the wrong decisions when you
get in a strong empowering state you’ll
make a better decision learning how to
direct your state is a big part of what
my work is with people and it’s a big
part of what I do in my seminars but the
other thing that affects your decisions
would be what I would call your story or
your blueprint we all have kind of a
story about how our life is supposed to
be comes from a set of life experiences
interpretations some people think life
is all about getting theirs
some people think life is about growing
and contributing some people think life
is about making judgments some people
think life is about saving other
people’s lives
some people think life is about being
successful some people think god is the
basis of everything and the way to know
God is to go through life a very
specific way let us set rules and they
follow it and that’s what they believe
whatever your story is whatever your
blueprint your blueprint just another
way of saying whatever you believe is
how your life is supposed to be at some
level we either follow that blueprint or
we fight it if we follow it or we fight
it we’re going to find that we’re gonna
bump into things in life where life
isn’t always the same
or think it should be and that’s we
start to experience stress
[Music]
I really believe life is the dance
between what you desire most and fear
goes that’s where you find where we live
our life the dance between what you want
most of what you fear most that’s that’s
where all that energy is in life so what
does she want she wants to be famous she
wants to be able to sing and have
everyone hear a voice and be able to
touch everyone she wants to contribute
she wants to share a gift and she
definitely wants to be famous and
successful
she needs to be closer to her children
one of the big challenges in life is
oftentimes what we want what we need are
two different things
she has five boys they’re all extremely
young as I’m sure you’ve solved and she
has a husband and while they’re all
supportive of going on this journey
somewhere along the line she lost that
connection to what was most important
now she a bad person to make bad
decisions no good people make bad
decisions when they get lousy states
what our ego gets involved or when we
start believing our story and here was
the story she had being a mom is
important but the bigger gift God gave
me is my singing voice
now once we get seduced into a
particular story and we start to believe
it it takes ahold of our life and it
controls all of our choices and then
pretty soon that choice on top of bad
choice um time a bad choice starts to
affect our life
can you write how many times you’ve made
some choices that you wish like Halle
would have made a different decision
back then and or that no one ever knows
the stupid decisions you made I know I
can relate to that so what I want to
talk to you about today for this brief
little session is how to break through a
crisis crises happen whatever type of
crises you go through again again I know
you’ve had many when we make some
cutters unconsciously and we get
consequences and we make them
unconsciously because we’re trying to
get what we want you don’t really know
what we value most we don’t know what we
need and we find ourselves waking up one
day and going why is my life this way
it’s kind of like life is always calling
to us to constantly grow and prove you
know if you’re going to look at what’s
going to make life work it’s really
simple what makes people happy is
progress
we’re happy we’re progressing if you’re
overweight but you leave today you know
what this breakthrough thing when I got
it today for me more anything else is
I’ve been stuck waiting for some magical
diets and magical exercise find some
magical time in the future when they
have more time there is more than one
more time I don’t need a week late for
that I’m just going to make a decision
today to get started I don’t need to go
out there and go interview 20 trainers
and get online I don’t need somebody
give me a perfect plan I used to pick up
my shoes and start walking I need just
get Sony behind me who just goes wrong I
don’t need a way for perfection I’m
gonna do something right now I choose to
get there I choose the walk I choose the
run I choose to go join a club I’m doing
it now a breakthrough happens the moment
you make a new choice and you don’t have
to wait you just get yourself in a new
state maybe this tape will get your
doing or just have to have a new thought
that says you know what I need choices
in the past I’m overweight because I
chose D this and this I’m not gonna eat
it anymore
I’m changing now you can change your
whole life real fast with just a few
choices but if you don’t make the right
choices eventually you’re going to face
a crisis crisis is when you made so many
poor choices that sooner why your life
shows up and instead of asking gently
for you to change and improve to grow to
make progress to be happy life when it’s
a crisis now demands change it isn’t
asking anymore we borrowed money as a
society and we overspent and we talked
about changing and we knew we had to
change and our crisis happens and guess
what nobody has a choice the game has
changed and what crisis does is it melts
us down it melts us down so that we can
recast our life we can we mold ourselves
and usually on the other side our life
is greater because as we go through that
crisis we have to
nobody everybody wants change nobody
wants to do it everybody I should say
wants progress but nobody wants to
change
everybody wants their life better but
nobody wants to do the push-ups the
running have the economic or emotional
discipline to make it happen
but if you’re watching this right now
and you’re still with me some part of
you wants more and I’m saying to you
choose it and the way you’re going to
choose it is really simple if you’re in
that crisis what keeps you in the crisis
is probably because you’re being
reinforced most people they will eat are
they smoked or they drink or they yell
at people they keep doing it because
they’re rewarded whatever gets rewarded
gets reinforced whatever habit or
behaviors reinforced becomes a habit and
then pretty soon do it long enough it
becomes part of your personality and
pretty soon you think it’s who you are
and you just keep living that one I mean
it’s easy to see this in other people
right it’s easy to see how messed up
they are how easy they could it they
just make some new choices all you gotta
do is turn on the television some news
programs an entertainment program and
you’ll hear detailed descriptions about
some person who is very powerful
celebrity who is doing some stupid thing
why do we see all this stuff on
television why do we hear about every
person you can imagine from Lindsay
Lohan to Britney Spears to only back to
the old days it was Elvis or Michael
Jackson or whoever it is that’s in the
news today and this stage of life in
your country as you’re watching this
it’s because we want to see other people
make bad decisions so we can feel better
about our own
but the reason those people don’t change
Lindsay Lohan she’s got another DUI
she’s putting herself at risk she’s
putting other viewers Gilson she goes to
jail and supposed to be 90 days but
here’s the consequence it goes to two
weeks and before she even gets out of
the jail she makes a deal for an
interview and gets paid a million
dollars when she gets out for the
interview do you think the chances of
her changing when her bad behavior gets
her a million dollars I don’t know she
even makes that for that much time of
acting at this stage what do you think
the chances are when people around her
say it’s not your fault it’s not fair
they treat you unfairly as long as we
have the decision that we’re not
responsible it’s not our fault we can’t
change anything we have no power so I
don’t know if I time you watches of
Lindsay will change but if she did it’ll
be cuz the enablers are gone she’s
taking responsibility and she’s found
something she values more than attention
and money for bad behavior now it’s easy
look at that with her but what about you
and I where you die addicted to our
problems where are you i reinforce so
many people have a big problem listen if
things are going well you say how it’s
going so great your friends go well
that’s great after a while they go well
easy for you but if you got a problem
people hey I understand and we connect
with you where do we get addicted to our
problems if you want to make a new
choice if you want to make a new
decision today you want to have a
breakthrough in summary your life you
got to give up the story that it’s not
and you got to give up the attention and
the love and the connection and the
commiserating that comes with it with
other human beings here’s how you change
five simple quick steps and then I’m
going to give you a little tool but if
you want to you can go online and really
make a change if you’re going to change
your life step one I don’t care if
something has happened to you you know
somebody’s spilled oil all over where
you fish it’s horrific
if disgusting how they’ve dealt with it
but it’s happened you got to deal with
it something’s happen someone your
family has been injured you’ve lost your
job I don’t care what the problem is if
you’re in a crisis step number one see
it as it is but don’t see it worse than
it is now what do I mean by that I don’t
mean beasts and mr. miss positive
thinking right now if you’re spending
time with me you know I’m not about that
I’m not here to tell you go to that
garden and chant there’s no leads
there’s no leads or snow weeds but doing
affirmations not gonna change your life
you got to go see what the weeds are
Paul now my point is simple you’ve got
to see what the problem is but you can’t
make it so horrific that you just give
up today this is the first generation in
almost a hundred years of Americans who
now believe the majority of Americans
now believe that the quality of life for
themselves and their kids in the future
is going to be worse than the past they
have other words nothing to look forward
to 63% of the you
today Wow when you start thinking there
is no future you go into what we call
learned helplessness a place where you
just kind of give up and if you get to a
place a given hop then you have no power
of your life that’s when people get
depressed that’s when people do crazy
stupid things that’s when people want to
turn to drugs or alcohol or sometimes
suicide or just total frustration and
anger and their life starts to do the
opposite to break you it becomes
completely Stocking and pain or an
ongoing suffering if you’re not going to
break out of that we got to see it as it
is we’re not here to be positive
thinking people you got to see what’s
really going on but if you’re overweight
you can’t say to yourself well I’m
big-boned that’s not why you’re
overweight you’re overweight because you
don’t work out you eat certain things
you eat Cheetos all day long watching TV
I don’t know what did you do but I know
it’s not just cuz you’re big-boned you
don’t want to make it so it’s outside
your control or you can’t change it so
see it as it is but don’t see it worse
than it is so they have no reason to try
does that make sense
that’s the first step step two get to
the real truth and deal with it don’t
just see it as it is and not worse than
it is don’t just like balance it but now
get to the truth I mean listen if the
truth is you’ve been trying to get a job
for two years and you truly have worked
every day in a particular industry and
the number of jobs made industry you’ve
shrunk down and you really aren’t
getting that job and you may have look
at the truth the truth is you might have
to retool you might have to say gosh
the industry I’m in is gone I mean gross
simply the simplistic example but for
years vinyl records were around for 85
years there was a gigantic industry and
things can win during the vinyl record
time what happened well there was number
those 8-track tapes or you ain’t enough
to remember those things maybe you know
somebody remembers those things these
big boxes you push it get it out yeah
hey tracks came and went
vinyl records were still here and then
cassette tapes came right and concept’
eighths were smaller and more compact
and more convenient two more seemingly
indestructible and they came over here
and vinyl records were still selling
like crazy you had a job in vinyl
records you kept it but then a little
thing came along called the CD and when
that happened almost overnight you saw
an entire industry been around almost a
century was gone if you were the guy
that worked in the vinyl record Factory
and knew everything about it it was the
second generation didn’t matter it was
over and when now we laugh about a CD
right because everything in this digital
world you can have instantly who wants
to put on a CD pretty rare still
available in vinyl records maybe there’s
a small market of people that are
collectors but it’s gone my point is if
you’re in the bottle record business
you’ve got to tell yourself the truth
you got to see it it is not worse than
it is but you also got to get the truth
and deal with it you got to deal with a
card you’re dealt you’re going to have
to retool you’re gonna have to change
something you might have to move if you
live in the Gulf and I don’t support
anything that’s happened there who could
it’s unconscionable what’s happened with
BP but if you live in the Gulf and
you’re a third-generation fisherman and
you’re now you fish for oysters and
they’re dead you better get to the truth
are they going to be dead for two years
or ten or twenty to the best of your
ability and you might say I can’t do
anything else
I can’t I’m a third generation this is
all I know yes you can get to the truth
and deal with it deal with the card
you’re dealt with you got to deal with
it sure I’m sure illegally but in the
meantime you got to take care of your
family I’m not saying this off-the-cuff
easy because I’ve been in those
situations where it’s impossible it’s
unjust it’s wrong but I still got to
deal with it just like you
I make it sense it’s like you might say
I haven’t lived here Marat you might
have to move you might have to fish
someplace else you might have to get I
know you still got to deal with all the
consequences but you got to take back
control of your life
they’re unjust things that happen but
you got to take control easy for me to
say I’m not sitting in your shoes I get
that but who hasn’t experienced some
form of injustice someplace who’s not
dealt with something unfair who’s not
double something it wasn’t meant to be
unfair but it affected your entire life
your career your finances whatever you
got to tell yourself the truth and you
got to get to those dealing with the
reality right now the longer you wait
the longer the crisis will be if you’re
having an economic crisis got a deal
with it
got a downsize right sighs do whatever
it takes I say okay Tony well so far you
telling me don’t allow myself to make it
so bad I know try see it as is but don’t
make it worse than it is you’re telling
me get to the truth and deal with it
well that’s nice but you know how do I
do that maybe the third step more than
just getting the role model maybe the
more specific is get a vision first get
a vision and get strong that’s why I
think the third step should be your
first tell yourself the truth yes see it
as it is not worse it is tell yourself
the truth and deal with it but the way
to deal with it is say what am I going
to go for there’s gotta be a compelling
future I’ve got to come up with a vision
forever
or a vision for my relationship had
terrible relationships nothing’s work
tell yourself the truth I’ve made poor
choices or had told many self stories
and gave myself excuses or I not have
the courage whatever it is get to the
truth and then get yourself a vision for
what you do want because you have to
have something you’re going to move
towards does that make it sense it
without a vision people perish it says
in a very good book on the good book
there are many good books but that’s a
good one to take a look at we need
something to go for we can deal with any
problem today as long as there’s
something that we can look for in the
future that we can strive for it’ll give
us the emotional and psychological fuel
the juice to keep moving forward
[Music]
so you gotta come up with a vision and a
way to do that we’ll call that step four
get a robot you might get the vision
from a role model you might get the
vision just from coming up with a new
idea but in order to figure out how to
go from where you are to where you want
to be to close the gap from where you
are to where you want to be its best to
learn by other people’s experience
whenever you can so get a role model get
their strategy and go to work get into
action so I’ll give you an example years
ago when I was first starting to try to
figure out how to build myself
financially I grew up at a time when
just as I was starting do well this big
recession happened I remember I was like
29 30 years old I think and maybe 31 and
I was doing okay and then all of a
sudden there all these business
challenges because we went through this
severe recession back in those days and
I remember at the time everybody was
downsizing and freaking out and I
thought you know what I don’t want to
just settle for this I want to find a
way to do well who’s done well and
really tough
that’s why I started doing my homework
those days you know didn’t go out and
use the internet the way you do today he
couldn’t access all that information we
actually went to libraries and did
research in traditional ways an ancient
F to remember those things and I started
hearing about this man named Sir John
Templeton very famous man he’s a man who
became a multi-billionaire as an
investor he started with nothing but
that was interesting is when I started
find out about his story as here’s a guy
that when he’s a young man is called Sir
John Templeton now he was actually an
American originally and he wasn’t sir he
came from a very poor family and he just
decided that in his life he wanted not
only do well financially you want to do
so well he could help other people at
any level that he want and today by the
way he’s passed but before he did he
created the Templeton fund and he also
created a fund that now delivers money
gives money each year Templeton Prize to
people that do good spiritual works and
it’s larger than the Nobel Prize and
that continues to go long the guy
started with nothing and here’s how he
did this season the reason I look for
him as a role model as because he made
all his money and the worst of times he
made all his money when people were
going through the equivalent of the
deepest recession or depression possible
his whole belief was this is different
than almost anybody else you see around
he was pessimism was the secret to
success that what he wanted to do is
make money when people are most
pessimistic when people are optimistic
they want you to pay for their house a
huge sum of money but as they start
getting more and more pessimistic
they think they can never the house is
the worst thing to have they’ll
virtually give you the house will
virtually give you the business and so
he minerals money starting in World War
two when the war broke out and Hitler
invaded over in Europe he took all the
money had and borrowed total money at
ten thousand dollars a total amount he
bought with ten thousand dollars every
stock on the New York Stock Exchange
that was one dollar or less that he
thought might be useful including some
companies that look like they’re going
to be bankrupt but he did it when people
were the most pessimistic because if
you’re call it look like Hitler was
going to take over it didn’t look like
we were all going to be the winners it
looked like Hitler was gonna dominate
more people have that scared they would
give up anything they had just to get a
little bit back and so he bottled the
stock that eventually made him a multi
billionaire became a billionaire because
after things changed after the war just
five years later and the economy started
to surge everything change for him
where do you think he invested next
after World War two where was a country
that was pummeled that was down the
factories were basically turned into mud
Japan you could buy things for pennies
in Japan that would have cost you
hundreds of thousands of dollars before
and he did when everyone was most
pessimistic he went indeed well and then
he sold when the eighties surged and
when everybody thought Japan was the
greatest country on Earth the biggest
businesses he sold made his maximum
profit when people were overly
optimistic did the same thing down in
South America when inflation went crazy
this man spent his entire life basically
having a strategy of how to succeed when
everybody else was scared I tell you
that because he’s a role model what he
did how he did it it’s all in writing
it’s crystal clear he could do the same
but you won’t be able to do it when
you’re telling yourself the sky is
falling it’s
you see it worse than it is you’ll just
give up you won’t do it if you don’t
tell yourself the truth is you know what
this system isn’t working I got to do
something I got to change my finances I
got to change my job I got to read you
if you don’t tell yourself the truth and
deal with the truth the real truth
nothing’s going to happen you won’t ever
even think about a guy like John
Templeton if you don’t have a vision
that says I don’t care how the
environment is I’m going to find a way
to do well and you won’t do well unless
you get a strategy based on a role model
who’s really done it my whole thing is
this if anybody has something you want
they aren’t lucky they did something if
you model them if you take similar steps
you can produce a similar result make
sense and finally fifth step look if you
in a situation where you see it as is
but not worse than it is if you told
yourself the truth will be dealt the
cards you’re dealt with and just decided
you’re going to change it you’re willing
to do what’s necessary if you put
yourself in a place where you got a new
vision and you got yourself strong if
you got a role model and you’ve got some
strategy and you got yourself into
action Step five is give much more than
you expect to receive simple as that
sounds if you find a way to meet
people’s needs in business but an
intimate relationship meeting your kids
needs anybody’s meat the whole game
changes
[Music]
truth is the truth will set you free but
first it’ll piss you off the truth of it
doesn’t feel good but not feeling that
sometimes it will you get your drive to
change things
deal with what is without exaggeration
with total honesty dealing with the
cards coming up with a vision finding a
self a role model that shows your
strategy work your tail off give give
give keep changing your approach and you
can get where you want to go make sense
now that might sound like a lot so to
get you started here’s what I’d like you
do for this session start out if you
want by taking a big crisis or problem
you haven’t going through these steps
say it okay what’s really true and let
me exaggerate let me stop the
exaggeration let me not make it worse
than it’s just let’s define what’s true
let’s stop the story just here’s what it
is we got this much financial challenge
we got this physical challenge covered
it and then go to step two all right
let’s find out the truth let’s get the
details let’s forget the details and
figure out what we’re going to do then
here’s where we’re going to go this is
where we’re going to eventually get to
it might take us longer to get where we
want to go but we’re going to get here
who’s done it that we can model that we
can follow the steps in who can coach us
and let’s just work our tail off and
change everything
[Music]
but to give you a quick jump sometimes
when you’re in the middle of crisis or a
crises multiple crises lots of things
going on simultaneously
it feels been overwhelming so you might
not know robot that’s a Tony I don’t
know who well not hard enough these days
to find role models or come to an event
yeah I promise you we can show you
plenty of role models like you for a
living but what you can view right away
is you can model yourself think about
almost everyone alive it’s been through
more than one tough tough time crisis or
multi crises where you’re having a
problem financially and I’m a part of
your family and you’re having health
problems all simultaneously those
intense ones right but if you’re
standing still today most of us found a
way to get through and if you don’t you
know someone who went through a tough
time
my grandmother aunt and uncle somebody
the greatest way to make that change
happen when you break out of a
breakthrough you break out of a problem
you break out of crisis is model
yourself
[Music]
what’s been one of the toughest times in
your life that you did get through
there is a financial situation
yeah maybe it was an intimate
relationship where you were crushed you
thought you’d never make it through all
the pain you went through there maybe it
was a physical challenge or health
challenge maybe it was a lack of
confidence or ability I don’t know what
it was but what was it just incredibly
tough time that you did make it through
you go back and you think about that
situation what told you through what
pulled you through that situation what
did you what did you learn what
distinction or did you get a strategy or
was it a belief or did you meet someone
who helped you or was it just somehow
you clicked into your faith kick
yourself into gear what pulled you
through those tough times
was it a person was in place was an idea
was a distinction was a belief what was
he
[Music]
what did you do to go from where you
were to where you are today
what’d you do to get over that situation
what did you do to get through that
situation what did you do to turn it
around what action did you take who did
you go learn from what skill did you go
get what what did you physically do kind
of give us the description of what you
did because we all want to know because
you can provide us a pathway you may
have been through a crisis that someone
else is going through right now and they
could learn from you because they can
learn the shortcut
because you went through this crisis
whatever the crisis was how are you
stronger or are you more compassionate
because you felt that suffering you
don’t want anybody else to feel it or
are you more hopeful because you know
you need to do that so you can make it
through the things or are you in a
situation where you’ve got a skill today
that you didn’t have the wouldn’t have
had if it wasn’t for that situation that
made you have to grow or you just
happier today because you have a
contrast of what life could be like and
so now you appreciate the simple moments
how are you better mentally emotionally
physically financially or spiritually
today because you went through the
crisis even though you wouldn’t want to
go through it again you know anybody
else to go through it how did it
actually serve you
[Music]
who here’s ever failed
whose here’s failed miserably at
something you wanted to achieve when you
failed why did you fail
I fail because okay good I didn’t have
enough money what else didn’t have
didn’t have the right technology good
sir why’d you fail I had the wrong
people they say I had the wrong leader
isn’t that interesting it was the
economy bad economy not enough time
didn’t have enough time now I ask this
question for the first time about seven
years ago I was at this place called Ted
anybody watching those Ted videos and
Ted didn’t have a website everything of
that stage it was a very small program
was done for about 800 people in Silicon
Valley
most of them billionaire investors the
founders of Yahoo founders of Apple the
founders of the whole series of
companies and I was brought in and they
say you got 18 minutes which my shortest
seminars for days so I’m like
you got to be kidding me
and then when they four they introduced
me the guy who he was introducing me
wasn’t the guy invited me he was an
English guy we’re good friends today
we’re back and he didn’t know who I was
he thought I was a motivator so he got
up and he said first thing he said to me
before I went out there goes not nice to
meet you don’t have people do that jump
in I heard you
so he wants me to take these dead people
and leave them dead in this dark room
sitting and I watched before I got up to
speak and there’s a woman who was a
genius and she was three teaching string
theory which is one the most complex
things on earth and they gave her
eighteen minutes and people were
shuffling their feet and at the end they
didn’t even clap for her they were
assholes they all thought their did
his thing
these are all the achievers of the world
so I walk out there and the introduction
he gives me as Tony Robbins was like a
motivator and he’s helped a lot of
sports people so maybe he can kind of
create some energy here he a very
publicized divorce a few years ago
[Music]
I couldn’t believe it really did
say that he wants a TED video he cut
that out cuz he’s embarrassed
I said so I got up afterwards I still
got courage to be here I said that I
didn’t know that my divorce is very
publicized that’s why that’s very happy
tens of millions of dollars I didn’t
come about that I didn’t serve you and
then I jump forgot engage this room so I
ask them question just ask you I said
who hears ever failed and no one raised
their hand the whole room
so I paused and I said I know you’re out
there I can hear their hearts beating
who here has ever failed and I demand an
answer
and who has ever failed and now the
holes they started complain so I said
great when you failed why did you fail
and they said all the things you said
didn’t have enough time didn’t have the
right technology didn’t have the money
didn’t have the contacts you know have
the wrong people the people said with
the wrong leader
[Music]
cuz let’s just do this logically
everything you people have told me I
didn’t have the technology I have the
right contacts I didn’t have the time I
didn’t have money everything you’ve told
me I didn’t have enough Supreme Court
justices those are resources and so
you’re telling me I fail because I
didn’t have the resources and I’m here
to tell you what you already know
resources are never the problem it’s a
lack of resourcefulness is why you
failed because the ultimate resources
are emotional states if you’re creative
enough can you find the answer yes or no
if you’re determined enough can you find
the breakthrough yes or no if you’re
passionate loving enough can you get
someone to help you yes or no if there’s
no way that you’re committed can you
find the money even if you don’t have it
yes or no
so I said creativity decisiveness
passion honesty sincerity love these are
the ultimate human resources and when
you engage these resource you can get
any other resource on earth and I said
so you told me all the resources you’re
missing and you hypnotize yourself into
believing that you don’t have what you
want because you love the resources when
the most successful people in history
had no resources but they were
incredibly resourceful so they got the
researchers resourcefulness is the
ultimate resource
and if you don’t have what you want stop
telling yourself the story because you
don’t the money over time that’s
it’s because you haven’t
committed yourself where you would burn
your boats if you want to take the
island burn your boats
and you will take the audit because
people when they’re gonna either die or
succeed tend to succeed but most of us
give ourselves a way out and that’s why
we don’t have
[Music]
so if you and I really want to know
what’s going to take to get your dream
and make it real it’s to stop all the
things you told yourself at art and I’m
here to tell you what I said at the top
of our discussion 80% of success of
psychology and 20% of mechanics that’s
true of running your business that’s
true of your intimate relationship
that’s true of your body that’s true and
your level of happiness see got to know
the 20% because that gives you the edge
right those strategies but you got to
know the psychology if you’re in
business right now there’s a few things
the choke hold since again how many on a
business I’m real clear really do only
business you’re not thinking about it
you own one raise your hand so I can say
most you don’t impress so if you
own your business
I’ll tell you right now the choke hold
on the growth of your business is you it
is not your people
it is the leader of this organization
the leader is the chokehold and the
chokehold comes in one or two forms your
psychology you think you’ve tried
everything you’ve tried everything but
what works who knows what I’m
talking about here right or it’s a skill
that you’re missing like you really are
incredible writing code but you don’t
know about accounting and finance
and it’s eating your business alive cuz
I got to tell you 96% of all businesses
in a 10-year period of time go under
only 4% make it by the way make it
doesn’t mean that you succeed to have
any money it just means you’re still
standing 4% by the way after 10 years
you’re set right there’s no more
challenges
ever heard of company called Lehman
Brothers right 100 year old company if
you took their gross revenues and added
them up
it’d be a trillion dollars over the
decades a trillion with a T and they’re
no longer here that’s how competitive
the world is today so if you got into
business and you’re in it right now I
love you I respect you as a brother or
sister and I know you’re a crazy son of
a bitch just like me
you have to be who gets in a sport with
a longer you play the more likely you
die you’re a gladiator if you’re in
business a gladiator goes out there and
they know every time I go out I can die
and the longer I stay in the game the
more likely I die but every day they go
out to win that takes an incredible
psychology but in that psychology we
bump onto limits and that’s what you got
a ship and if your psychology is solid
and you got to say where are the skills
I’m missing because that’s equally
important
I created a brand and that’s why I have
the privilege to serve you but that
brand came because I realized early in
my career I get the best ideas in the
world but they’re gonna die on my lips
unless I can market them unless I can
build a brand it is the most important
thing today because the world is made up
of commodities the world is so
competitive if you’re a commodity if
you’re a racer the lowest price you will
be out of business within ten years
probably more like two to five you have
to have something that separates you
from everybody else on earth and until
you find out that something you will be
stressed and you will be struggling but
everybody has it or anybody can create
it that’s my expertise my companies I
started with zero we do more than 5
billion with a bean per year my
companies
I had a mission but I realize I have to
master business or that mission is going
to die and you got to get that too
because otherwise you don’t get one of
the many more for ass off and not have
what you deserve so this is an area that
deserves mastering not dabbling and
probably most of you in this room work
your ass off in your business and your
so working in the business you’re not
working on the business I know you know
the difference and if you do you’re not
getting distinctions that are cutting
edge one right strategy can save you ten
years
but you got to go get it you can’t just
keep doing what you’re doing good and
then pumping yourself back up she got to
get the skills marketing is one of those
skills selecting the right people’s
everything
so knowing how to pick the right people
knowing how to train those people
knowing what you gonna do in sales no
way to go to in markets knowing what
you’re doing the financial side if your
business is everything you have to
master these things you can’t pull
expect your business to either
a breakthrough is when there’s something
you struggle with for a long time you
say you’re going to change you say
you’re going to make it happen you’re
going to lose that weight going to grow
your revenues you’re going to make that
profit you’re going to make something
happy going to find that relationship
you’re going to stop smoking and you
start to get right near the edge
[Music]
and then you pull back who’s done this
multiple times before but then finally
how to break through you broke through
and actually change and say I so jot
down what a break your is and let me
give you three steps of it a
breakthrough is a moment in time that’s
what it is it’s a moment in time it’s a
moment where suddenly what was
impossible becomes possible
for that to happen for the impossibly
compatible and for you to have action
that’s going to get results really I
found over the years any kind of
breakthrough
you’re going to have requires three
things to it and if you never see me
again and you’re ever in a place you say
I’m sick of fighting this I’m sick of
not getting results I want I don’t want
to just learn more I want to break
through if you remember this and go back
to the simple formula and by the way
I’ve made this simple purposely you know
why complexity is the enemy of execution
the more complex you make it the less
likely you’re going to execute I’m so
good at getting people to do things as I
make it so damn simple you can’t miss it
so let’s do it what’s it going to take
that to break through before I tell you
let’s have you think of an area where
you once thought and you finally had a
breakthrough for you person what’s an
area where you push and push and push
you couldn’t do it couldn’t do it and
you finally made yourself do it go
through
this a man once said you tell a lie big
enough loud enough and long enough
sooner or later people will believe you
who said that
Hitler and most of us are Hitler in our
own minds we convinced ourselves with
challenges so when person says well you
know Alicia I’ve tried someone who
doesn’t lost weight they’ll say I’ve
tried come on will they say I tried
everything bel if you tried
everything you’d be fitting strong well
I’ve tried thousands of ways thousands
named them
well tried hundreds name them wife tried
dozens name them why did you these two
stupid things that don’t work over and
over again
mine was I’m big-boned
I am big-boned but I was thirty-eight
pounds heavier with the same bones so we
often say things that are true to back
things up they are true you’re big-boned
but that is not why you’re fat right so
the story keeps us Irma if you know the
relationship you want what’s the story
all the good ones are gone and they’re
gay and I’m not or they’re not getting I
am the story the story is there back
write this down the only thing keeping
you from getting what you want the only
thing keeping you from getting what you
want is the story you keep telling
yourself about why you don’t have it the
only thing keeping you from getting what
you really want is the story you keep
telling yourself about why you don’t
have it yet here’s what I said divorce
your story and marry the truth divorce
your story and marry the truth and don’t
make it when those divorces where you
leave visit with your old past belief
system again divorce it cut it off and
marry the truth the truth will set you
what but you got to develop the
empowering story without that now some
of you think that empathic story is the
one that allows you to be keep going at
what doesn’t work I’m not talking about
a story where you cover your ass and
explain that you’re still going to
achieve you want some day in the future
because no one can argue with that
because if you
not here but really you’re not doing
anything to change significant who knows
what I’m talking about here say hi so
you’ve got to find a story that’s going
to empower you to act a story that’s
going to get you to find the
breakthrough because otherwise with a
lousy story you’ll never find the
strategy or you’ll come up with a reason
why it’s too expensive you can’t get
there you can’t access it or you’ll even
get the strategy and then half-assed
apply it just so you can reward your
story that says it doesn’t work as I
tried it if you want to know the
difference in people’s lives it all
comes down to what are the things that
are must view versus shows so let me
tell you this we said to have an
extraordinary life you gotta have an
extraordinary psychology right
extraordinary psychology means you got
to live in an extraordinary state to be
an extraordinary state you got to
condition your nervous system your body
your physiology and focus to be at their
best do you agree with this yes or no
then to do that though you can do that
why doesn’t everybody not cuz you can’t
with all of the ability is because of
our standing I remember a time early my
career is about 24 I went to do a
seminar in Boston and in those days a
big seminar for me was like 125 people
there was a three-day seminar and we
worked around the clock and people made
such extraordinary changes in their life
at the end of it I was feeling so
fulfilled I was thinking my god in 24
maybe 25 at the time I am so happy
because I have
now my mission in life I’m doing what I
love it’s making a difference in
people’s lives this is shortner so we
finished about midnight on the Sunday
night and around midnight you know I’m
still wound up so I don’t feel like
going to bed so I decided okay you know
let me take a walk here and I decided go
through Copley Square if you don’t do
Copley Square you know it’s pretty neat
but because in Copley Square you can
look up when you see buildings that we
were before we were known as the United
States and beside them you see
skyscrapers that are new it’s pretty
cool place some walk around midnight on
Sunday night there’s nobody in Copley
Square midnight is every night and I’m
walking along and I see this guy in the
distance and he’s kind of stumbling back
and forth between the butter and the
sidewalk they go one trench coming on
his heads down like that he’s all in the
brown bag and I can start to smell and
even for I get brown I’m thinking and
this guy is obviously drunk and as I
started get closer I thought I bet he’s
going to beg me for some money sure
enough whatever you focus our life tends
to happen doesn’t it so sure enough he
gets real close to me and I thought oh
honey wasn’t gonna do it all so they pop
his head it was really good mister it
was really bizarre looking sounding
voice mister did you mind me quieter hot
do I want to reward this behavior and I
thought I don’t want him to suffer you
have this dilemma sometimes you know I’m
not here to judge so usually when I
finally decided I always just give even
the person’s pulling a scam that’s for
them to deal with if I have the ability
than they give and so I thought what
could I teach him something so I asked
him a question back I said is that all
you want is a quarter
zigu yeah just one quarter one gorgeous
man I said really so yeah uncle so I
reached in my pocket and I pull out my
money club and those things are you know
are young just starting to succeed in my
original mentor was a man named Jim Rohn
and when I heard of Jim Rohn yeah it’s a
great guy and Jim told me said Tony look
you’ve come from a poor background you
got a poor psychology you got to change
it he said you know any money some
pretend you do he said start training
your brain conditioning
he said go save all your money get three
hundred dollar bills and put them in the
outside of your money clip even though
you only have five bucks in between them
so every time you pull out you’ll see
that you’ll feel inspired you’ll feel
better he said you’ll feel better you’ll
do better so I was like okay so I did so
I put my money clip and sure enough I
got 300 mils then I made sure he saw the
bills so I’m tearing through that right
looking in between there see if I can
find some change but I made sure he saw
sure enough he’s working at the how to
dog built checking it out I find the
quarter I pull it out taking money to it
my pocket I notice he’s watching my hand
going into the pocket I took the cord
and I looked at him and I said sir
life won’t pay any price you’re asking
then something really engineer took the
cord he looked at the corner he looked
at me he looked in my pocket look back
of the quarter looked at me looked in my
pocket looked at me again hope to the
coral into my pocket looked back at me
and said weird and then shuffled on off
like this and I thought to myself wow
what’s the difference between him and me
I mean I was twenty four twenty five two
time
do what I love most have a mission in
life and he’s in his early 60s drunk on
the street begging for quarters what’s
this
I thought well maybe God’s blessed me
cuz I’m such a good person or not it’s
he’s such a bad person that’s such a
bull and I thought wow maybe the answer
to that question is what I just told him
life will pay whatever price you ask him
you know what’s interesting he got to
ask intelligently and the Bible it says
asking you shall let pretty Deponia you
got to look into it but you know what it
says asking you shall receive but I’m
sure it meant ask intelligently I’m sure
that’s what God met I’m sure he didn’t
mean bitch and you will receive warning
and you will receive I don’t think that
was the instruction now if you can ask
intelligently there might be five items
to that number one you have to ask
specifically wouldn’t you we wouldn’t
ask you know generally people do as
telling me I want more money fine here’s
a dollar get out of here very often
you’re getting what you’re asking for
you just not aware of how generally
you’re asking clarity is power the more
clear you are about exactly what it is
you want the more your brain knows how
to get there
your brain is a servomechanism it’s like
a bomb those banjos missiles they have a
servomechanism so if the target moves it
knows what the target is it follows it
your brain when you condition it was
exactly what to go for and we’ll find a
way to get there
[Music]
you
you
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