they’re gone I didn’t attain it so I’m
not gonna set any more goal right it’s
like no you set a goal that was
inappropriate life is essentially
suffering and I believe that to be a
fundamental truth lots of people are
hopeless and nihilistic way more people
the motivation what to top ten with
believe nation
what’s that belief nation it’s Evan my
one word is believe and this channel is
designed to be a part of your daily
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in today’s lessons from a man who went
from growing up in a small town in
Canada to a librarian mother and school
teacher father to becoming a professor
at Harvard University and University of
Toronto and having a YouTube channel
with over 1.4 million subscribers he’s
Jordan B Peterson and here’s my take on
his top ten rules a success vol 5 also
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if you’re gonna speak effectively you
have to know way more than you’re
okay let’s kick it up with rule number
one set goals properly tell your kid
here is an impossible thing why don’t
you go out and fail you say here’s
something worth going after here’s a
step you could take that would push you
beyond where you are but that you also
have a reasonably high probability of
succeeding at right they called that
within a time frame yes and some time
frankly that’s the other thing you have
to parameterize it with regards to time
frame that’s right and that puts you in
the zone of proximal development and
that says that’s a concept that was
generated by a guy named Vygotsky he was
a Russian developmental psychologist and
a smart one that’s where the idea of the
zone comes from to be in the zone and
when you’re in the zone you’re expanding
your skills in a manner that’s
intrinsically rewarding because you’re
succeeding and so you want to set if
you’re good to yourself you think okay I
need to set a goal but I need to set a
goal that someone is stupid and useless
as me could probably attain if they put
some effort into it
and then you got it then you’ve got it
perfectly because it’s not so high that
it’s grandiose or impossible that you
fail necessarily and then justify your
bitterness it’s like well I couldn’t do
it well because that happens to Pete how
much all the time yeah it’s like this
all the time you know it’s like it’s yes
exactly well I set a goal and I didn’t
attain it so I’m not gonna set any more
goal right it’s like no you set a goal
that was inappropriate for the time
frame that’s right you didn’t calibrate
it properly and and you’re playing a
trick on yourself because you wanted to
fail so that you could justify not
having to try well I’ve being a victim
mmm which isn’t in helpful you’re still
gonna be a victim right there’s no way
out of that man so you know because life
is this life is a challenge that in some
sense can’t be surmounted so there’s no
way out of your problem
but there are certainly proper ways of
dealing with it yeah rule number two
find your why not only do you have to
move from point A to B in life but point
a is often a very difficult place to be
because we’re fragile and bounded and
mortal and limited and because we know
that and so one of the implications of
that as many great religious traditions
are at pains to illustrate or
demonstrate
or proclaim is that life is essentially
suffering and I believe that to be a
fundamental truth but but perhaps not
the most fundamental truth because I
think the most fundamental truth is that
despite the fact that life is suffering
people can transcend that and partly the
way they transcend that is by pursuing
things of value and so that if there is
no value proposition at hand then you
have no meaning to justify the difficult
conditions of your life and that’s
brutally difficult for people no
Nietzsche said he who has a why can bear
anyhow and you see and I’ve certainly
seen this as a clinical practitioner
that people who have no purpose in their
life are embittered by the difficulties
of their life and they become first
bitter and then resentful and then
revengeful and then cruel and there’s
plenty of places to go past cruel that’s
just where you start if you’re really on
a downhill path rule number three eat a
little poison every day the more radical
than necessary change the more pain that
accompanies it like the more opportunity
as well but and a lot of what we learn
we learn painfully and so it’s not
surprising that people shrink away from
learning we learn in pain and anxiety
very frequently everyone knows that like
the things that really that you really
learned in life it’s like there was no
joy man it took you out and so the fact
that people flee from that is hardly
surprising but it doesn’t help that’s
the thing it just stores up the
catastrophe for later and so the better
the better idea is to eat a little
poison every day so that you don’t have
to overdose in a month it’s something
like that and it is the case that I
think because you don’t you aren’t
forced first of all you don’t learn
unless you’re forced to learn I know
there’s alternatives to that there’s the
voluntary search for knowledge and
that’s a fine thing and that is an
antidote to this but apart from that
speaking more practically you tend not
to learn unless you’re forced to learn
and it’s and what you tend to learn by
force are difficult lessons and so
people are very prone to not
do not seek that out it’s not surprising
but it’s because they don’t understand
the consequences very well you know you
you it’s because maybe it’s because
they’re convinced that there’s some way
of for stalling the necessary learning
and there isn’t any way of for stalling
it all you do is make it worse in the
future you make yourself smaller and you
make the lesson harder and so that’s why
in so many religious doctrines there’s
emphasis on humility you know and
humility isn’t to debase yourself it’s
to understand that you don’t know enough
so that your life isn’t going to be
miserable and so every chance you get to
grab something new that will help you
along your way you should take it as
fast as you can but you have to have a
very tragic I would say view of reality
and also a harsh one because it’s not
just tragedy it’s also malevolence you
have to understand that those are
waiting for you and that makes you
desperate enough to learn and that might
be make you desperate enough to fall out
of your ideology but that’s that’s a
hard way of looking at the world it
beats living through it though rule
number four take responsibility so one
of the things I’ve been talking to my
audiences about is the relationship
between responsibility and meaning which
is and what would you say it’s a it’s a
constant refrain in the book it’s one of
its underlying messages let’s say or
themes is a better way of thinking about
it you know if you start with the
presumption that there’s a baseline of
suffering in life and that that can be
exaggerated by as a consequence of human
failing as a consequence of malevolence
and betrayal and self betrayal and
deceit and all those things that we do
to each other and ourselves that we know
that aren’t good that amplifies the
suffering that’s sort of the baseline
against which you have to work and and
and it’s contemplation of that often
that makes people hopeless and depressed
and anxious and overwhelmed and all of
that it and and they have the reasons
but you need something to put up against
that
and what you put up against that is
meaning meaning is actually the instinct
that helps you guide yourself through
that catastrophe and most of that
meaning is to be found in the adoption
of responsibility so if you think for
example if you think about the people
that you admire well you think about
when you have a clear conscience first
because that’s a good thing to aim at
which is something different than
happiness right a clear conscience is
different than happiness yeah it’s
better yeah that’s right other guilting
yourself you’re not feeling bad about
your sister right you feel that you’ve
just acclaimed you’ve justified your
existence right and so you’re not waking
up at 3 in the morning in a cold sweat
thinking about all the terrible things
that you’ve involved yourself in what
you said to someone that you should have
said or my you acted or what opportunity
you lost or yeah or or the things that
you’ve that you’ve let go that you
should have capitalized on and all of
that and so if you think about the times
when you’re at peace with yourself with
regards to how you’re conducting
yourself in the world it’s almost always
conditions under which you’ve adopted
responsibility right at least the most
the most guilt I think that you can
experience perhaps is the sure knowledge
that you’re not even taking care of
yourself so that you’re leaving that
responsibility to other people because
that’s pretty pathetic and I unless
you’re psychopathic and you know and
you’re living a parasitical life and
that that characterizes a very small
minority of people and an even smaller
minority think that’s justifiable but
most of the time you’re in guilt and
shame because you’re not you’re you’re
not not only are you not taking care of
yourself let’s say so someone else has
to but you’re not living up to your full
potential and so there’s an existential
weight that goes along with that rule
number five become disciplined we kind
of have this idea that while you’re free
as a child and then you let me see if I
can if I can put this properly that you
have a certain delightful wonderful
positive freedom as a child and then
that’s given up as you approach
adulthood but the truth of the matter is
is that you have a lot of potential as a
child but none of that is capable of
manifesting itself as freedom before you
become disciplined and discipline is a
matter of the imposition of or
and the order is necessary especially
for people who are hopeless and
nihilistic and lots of people are
hopeless and nihilistic way more people
than you think and part of that is
because no one’s ever really encouraged
them and so the book is in part a matter
of encouragement it’s like lay yourself
lay a disciplinary structure on yourself
get the chaos in in in check and then
you can move towards a state that’s
freer because it’s disciplined first
like look if you’re going to become a
concert pianist there’s going to be
several thousand hours of
extraordinarily disciplined practice
that’s the imposition of order on your
potential let’s say but what comes out
of that is a much grander freedom and so
in virtually every freedom that you have
in life that’s true freedom is purchased
at the price of discipline rule number
six be truthful your best bet is truth
but that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s
always going to do the trick right I
mean sometimes you go fight a dragon and
it eats you and if the if you being
eaten wasn’t a real possibility it
wouldn’t be a real fight and so you see
people like I’ve seen people in my
clinical practice sometimes I had one
client in particular who was undergoing
a particularly vicious divorce with
someone who was really seriously
inclined to take him out and would do
pretty much everything at her disposal
to do so and I strategized with him for
about three years and we did everything
like and hyper carefully he was a very
conscientious and diligent person and he
put into practice everything that we
discussed and strategized and he still
pretty much he got backed into a corner
so hard that I didn’t know how to help
him anymore
so I would say however that he like he
was a very truthful person throughout
that and one thing he did do was part of
it was a custody battle and he did
manage despite his decline in
consequence of being repeatedly cornered
I would say he did manage to establish
what I think was a lasting relationship
with his kids so he might have got
enough out of what he did to justify it
even though
the whole landscape was pretty awful I
think that not lying is your best bet
but life is hard and people get run over
and it doesn’t necessarily mean that
you’re going to emerge in any obvious
sense triumphant but if you take the
alternative path path especially when
you’re facing severe tribulations let’s
say and you complicate those with deceit
you can be sure that whatever tragedy
that you’re confronting is going to turn
into not only tragedy but something very
much akin to hell and so you might be
able to at least minimize the degree of
suffering even if you can’t overcome it
or transcendent and that’s something you
know rule number seven provide value
people came to my website because they
were interested in well before the
political stuff blew up I had a million
views on YouTube which isn’t nothing a
million of anything is a lot but then
when the political scandal started to
break yeah then people came for them but
stayed for the content and so and that’s
really useful yeah well it’s all well
and it’s not that surprised well you
know because of what you do it’s like
people there’s a great hunger for
information that is practical and useful
and that helps people find meaning in
their lives and orient themselves
there’s a great hunger for that and most
of my lectures were derived from solid
psychology some of it experimental some
of it biological some of it from from
from the domains of neuroscience a lot
of it from great clinicians it’s not
surprising that people find it helpful
because well great clinicians were great
because they were really helpful and so
to distill that and to offer it to
people in a digestible form to have that
have a good effect on them well that’s
that’s what you’d expect that’s what the
whole discipline is about and so that’s
been that’s been great rule number eight
just start doing a circumambulation that
jung talked about was this continual
will return to this this continual
circling in some sense of who you could
be you might notice for example that
there are themes in your life you know
when you go back across your experiences
you see
have your typical experience that sort
of repeats itself and there might be
variation on it like a musical theme but
it’s it’s like you’re circling yourself
and getting closer to yourself as you
move across time
that’s the circumambulation now you
remember that for a second as well go
back to it okay so imagine that
something glimmers before you it’s an an
interest that’s dawning and you decide
well first of all you’re paralyzed do
you think well how do I know if I should
pursue that it’s probably a stupid idea
and the proper response to that is
you’re right it probably is a stupid
idea
because almost all though all ideas are
stupid and so the probability that as
you move forward on your adventure that
you’re gonna get it right the first time
is zero
it’s just not gonna happen and so then
you might think well maybe I’ll just
wait around until I get the right idea
and which people do right so they’re
like 40 year old thirteen year olds
which is not a good idea so they wait
around until it’s Waiting for Godot
until they finally got it right but the
problem is you’re too stupid to know
when you’ve got it right so waiting
around isn’t gonna help because even if
it the perfect opportunity manifested
itself to you in your incomplete form
the probability that you would recognize
it as the perfect opportunity is zero
you might even think it’s the worst
possible idea that you’ve ever heard of
anywhere highly likely highly likely so
so you had there’s an itch of nature
called data will will to stupidity which
I really liked so because he thought of
stupidity as being it you know it’s it’s
you have to take it into account
fundamentally and work with it and so
and so you can take these tentative
steps on your pathway to destiny and you
can assume that you’re gonna do it badly
and that’s really useful because you
don’t have to beat yourself up it’s
pretty easy to do it badly but the thing
is it’s way better to do it badly than
not to do it at all so you you start
your path and you think that you’re
heading you know towards your star and
so you go in that direction and then
because you’re here the world looks a
particular way but then when you move
here the world looks different and
you’re different as a consequence of
having made that voyage and so what
means is that now that thing that
glimmers in front of you is going to
have shifted its location because you
weren’t very good at specifying it to
begin with and now that you’re a little
sharper and more focused than you were
it’s it’s going to reveal itself with
more accuracy to you and so then you
have to take you know it’s almost like
180 degree reversal but it isn’t because
you know you’ve
I mean you’ve gone this far and that’s a
long ways to get that far but that’s a
lot farther than you would be if you
just stayed where you were waiting and
so it doesn’t matter that you overshoot
continually because as you overshoot
even if you don’t learn what you should
have done you’re going to continually
learn what you shouldn’t keep doing and
if you learn enough about what you
shouldn’t keep doing then that’s
tantamount at some point to learning at
the same time what you should be doing
so it’s okay so it’s like this now
what’s cool about it though I think is
that as you progress the degree of
overshooting starts to decline right and
that we know that there’s nothing
hypothetical about that as you learn a
new skill like even to play it play a
song on the piano for example you over
shoot madly you’re making all sorts of
mistakes to begin with and then the
mistakes they disappear so anyways the
fact that you’re full of faults doesn’t
mean you have to stop and thank God for
that that’s a really useful thing and
the fact that you’re full of faults
doesn’t mean that you can’t learn and so
you can pause it an ideal and you’re
gonna be wrong about it but it doesn’t
matter because what you’re right about
is positing the ideal moving towards it
if the actual ideal isn’t conceptualize
perfectly well first surprise surprise
because like what are you going to do
that’s perfect so it doesn’t matter that
it’s imperfect imperfect it just matters
that you do it and that you move forward
so that’s really that’s really positive
news as far as I’m concerned because you
can
actually do that right you can do it
badly anyone can do that so that’s
that’s useful rule number nine develop
your communication skills I’m incredibly
nervous to talk in front of you because
you’ve got to be one of the most
formidable people that I’ve ever heard
of or ever listened to her ever seen so
my question is again you’re one of the
best communicators that I’ve ever
listened to if I could be half as good
at you or at communicating as you are I
would be set how can I teach myself to
do that practice you know really like
well there’s a couple of things is helps
to read a lot it really helps to write
so if you want to make yourself
articulate which is a very good idea
then not only should you read but you
should write down what you think and if
you can do that a little bit every day
15 minutes maybe you could steal 15
minutes and do it every day but if you
do that for 10 years you really
straighten out your thinking if you’re
gonna speak effectively you have to know
way more than you’re talking about you
know so if you this is often difficult
for beginning lectures at university
because they’ll do a lecture on a topic
but they only know as much as they’re
saying in the lecture and they get kind
of stuck to their notes because of it
but you want to know 10 times as much as
you are saying in the lecture and then
you can specify a stepping path through
it and elaborate with the other things
that you know but to do that you have to
do a lot of reading but you also have to
do a lot of reading because that’s where
the synthesize that’s where the
synthesizing comes so that’s on the
input side and then on the output side
well there’s some tricks techniques
let’s say is like if you’re speaking in
front of a group you are not delivering
a talk to a group that’s not what you’re
doing the talk isn’t a package thing
that you present to a group there isn’t
a group there’s a bunch of individuals
and you talk to them so when I talk to a
group I always talk to people one at a
time and that makes it easier
because you know how to talk to a person
it’s like can you talk to a thousand
people well probably not because it’s
too intimidating
but there isn’t a thousand people there
there’s thousand individuals and so you
just look at an individual and you say
something and you can tell if they’re
engaged they look confused or they look
interested or they look angry or they
look bored or maybe they’re asleep in
which case you look at someone else and
they give you feedback about how you’re
doing and so one thing is to to have
something to say yeah but the next thing
is pay attention to who you’re talking
to because unless you’re very badly
socialized and that seems unlikely in
your case because you know you present
yourself at least moderately well you
know and well I mean I don’t know you
very well but at first but on first
sight you know you’re doing fine so the
probability that if you pay attention to
the individuals that you’re talking to
that your natural wealth of social skill
will manifest itself is extremely high
and so you don’t deliver a talk to an
audience that’s a really bad way of
thinking about you’re actually engaged
in a conversation with an audience even
if they’re not talking they’re nodding
and shifting position and you know
looking like this or and you can you can
pull all that in and and and use it to
govern the level at which you’re
addressing the entire audience so the
last thing I would say is well having
the aim to be a good communicator is a
good start and you think well I could
bunch us that to some degree well there
isn’t anything that you can possibly
this is the whole point of a liberal
education there isn’t anything that you
can possibly do that makes you more
competent in everything you do than to
learn how to communicate I don’t care if
you’re gonna be a carpenter I mean being
a carpenter by the way is very difficult
especially if you’re a good carpenter
but if you’re good at communicating as a
carpenter you’re like ten times better
as a carpenter so the and this is
something that the liberal arts colleges
I think and I don’t know if they’ve
forgotten it but they don’t do a very
good job of marketing it’s like what’s
the use of a bad
first agreed and Bachelor of Arts it’s
like well you can think you can write
you can speak you’ve read something it’s
like the economic value that is
incalculable the people that I’ve
watched in my life have been
spectacularly successful are they have
skills clearly that that’s a minimum
precondition but they’re also very very
good at articulating themselves and so
whenever they negotiate they’re
successful
well that’s kind of like the definition
of success in life right you negotiate
and your six doesn’t mean you win
because if you’re a good negotiator if
you’re really good negotiator everybody
walks away from the negotiation thrilled
and so then people line up to do things
with you so and that’s all that’s all
dependent on your ability to communicate
so practice and rule number ten the last
one before a very special bonus clip is
fight for what you stand for but our
topic is the rising tide of compelled
that’s pure narcissism at work by the
way
you don’t to hijack to hijack an event
like this that other people put time and
effort into and to use they there are
their civility of the crowd and the
civility of the organizers as an excuse
to blatantly yell out your ill informed
opinions is no way to conduct a civil
dialogue it’s absolutely appalling the
people who do that should be embarrassed
do you see you know
[Music]
that that and mark my words
that’s the sounds of the barbarians
you know that’s all I’ll tell you again
too that you soon inchoate what would
you call it inchoate sensation is the
best formulation of their argument and
there’s not much difference between
knocking on the doors and knocking on
you so keep that in mind it’s not
amusing there’s nothing to it there’s
nothing for it the thing that’s also
quite appalling is that there’s no
evidence whatsoever that the people who
are conducting these protests know what
it is that they’re protesting against
you know I was in alright I was in the
midst of a discussion attempting to make
the case that it’s freedom of speech
that’s that is what people who have
nothing still have right so if you look
at the tyrannical structure of our
society let’s say the people at the top
have access to means of communication
everyone knows that it’s the people at
the bottom who have the right to say
what they think however badly they say
it that enables them to get a toehold
into the system into and to make their
suffering known that’s what freedom of
speech is for and so like what’s the
protest against that and I’ll tell you
you know that the radical neo-marxist
types they speak the language of power
and that’s what they’re speaking right
now and if you want to live in a world
where everyone speaks the language of
power then just let them do what they’re
doing and see what happens I wouldn’t
recommend it it’s not a pretty road and
you’re all in a position you’re on the
situation in your life now where you
have to make decisions about this sorts
of things like is this the sort of
now I’ve got a really special bonus clip
from Jordan Peterson on how to take
risks that I think you’re gonna really
enjoy but before that it’s time for the
three-point landing questions time to
move from just watching another video to
actually taking action in your life or
in your business and if you’re feeling
bold answer the questions in the
comments below here we go question
number one what poison will you eat
today number two what do you need to
start doing this week and number three
there is definitely an epidemic of
overprotective parenting but it’s useful
to ask why and my suspicions are is that
this is driven by very fundamental
biological and cultural phenomena that
aren’t generally considered in
relationship to this issue we don’t have
very many children we don’t have 12 you
know six of whom die
we have one or two and that makes them
very precious right
we’re unwilling to take risks with them
and no wonder and then we also have them
much later in life and so like if you
have a kid when you’re 18 you’re still a
kid you know you’re gonna go out and
have your life right because you’re so
well you’re in the in the height of your
exploratory you’re in the height of the
exploratory part of your life you’re not
gonna over protect your kid because
you’re still a kid but if you’re 40 and
you have one child it’s like all your
eggs are in one basket
and the probability that you’re going to
take undue risks with that precious
person is very very low now obviously
there’s some advantages to that because
great you devote resources to your child
you know and foster their development
but the downside is that you have every
motivation to hover and maybe you’re
also extraordinarily desperate as a
mother to maintain that bond with your
child because you’ve struggled so long
to achieve it it’s highly highly
valuable
you can’t take a risk well so these so
we might say well perhaps overprotective
parenting is a secondary and unintended
consequence of the birth control pill
and the fact that people now have
children later in life could easily be
you know if you have six kids it’s like
what are gonna do hi helicopter parent
them it’s like dude oh yeah you’re so
tired you can’t even get off the couch
if you have six kids and there they
outnumber you right there raising each
other they’re competing and they’re
taking each other down a peg they’re not
there’s no overprotection there but with
it with a single child landscape or dual
child landscape mostly a single toe
landscape then you’re gonna over protect
and then that ethos starts to permeate
the schools and it starts to permeate
the higher education institutions as
those children mature and then that all
reinforces it not good it’s not obvious
what to do about it either because if it
is driven by demographics in that in
that sense it’s a much more intractable
problem than we think
so I did some of that in 12 rules for
life you know I said look you what you
have to understand is that you’re a
danger to your children no matter what
right you can let them go out in the
world and be hurt or you can over
protect them and hurt them that way so
you here’s your choice you can make your
children competent and courageous or you
can make them safe but you can’t make
them safe because life isn’t safe so if
you sacrifice their courage and
competence on the altar of safety then
you disarm them completely and all they
can do is pray to be protected the most
important work ever if you had to think
of one word that’s most important to you
or that sums you Apple that would be
like a little beacon
if you want to know Jordan Peterson’s 12
rules for life I think you’re gonna
really like the video right next to me
go check it out
continue to believe and they’ll see you
there people in general now a very poor
posture very bad for the junction is
like take a look at the people that are around you
not gonna set any more goal right it’s
like no you set a goal that was
inappropriate life is essentially
suffering and I believe that to be a
fundamental truth lots of people are
hopeless and nihilistic way more people
the motivation what to top ten with
believe nation
what’s that belief nation it’s Evan my
one word is believe and this channel is
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in today’s lessons from a man who went
from growing up in a small town in
Canada to a librarian mother and school
teacher father to becoming a professor
at Harvard University and University of
Toronto and having a YouTube channel
with over 1.4 million subscribers he’s
Jordan B Peterson and here’s my take on
his top ten rules a success vol 5 also
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if you’re gonna speak effectively you
have to know way more than you’re
okay let’s kick it up with rule number
one set goals properly tell your kid
here is an impossible thing why don’t
you go out and fail you say here’s
something worth going after here’s a
step you could take that would push you
beyond where you are but that you also
have a reasonably high probability of
succeeding at right they called that
within a time frame yes and some time
frankly that’s the other thing you have
to parameterize it with regards to time
frame that’s right and that puts you in
the zone of proximal development and
that says that’s a concept that was
generated by a guy named Vygotsky he was
a Russian developmental psychologist and
a smart one that’s where the idea of the
zone comes from to be in the zone and
when you’re in the zone you’re expanding
your skills in a manner that’s
intrinsically rewarding because you’re
succeeding and so you want to set if
you’re good to yourself you think okay I
need to set a goal but I need to set a
goal that someone is stupid and useless
as me could probably attain if they put
some effort into it
and then you got it then you’ve got it
perfectly because it’s not so high that
it’s grandiose or impossible that you
fail necessarily and then justify your
bitterness it’s like well I couldn’t do
it well because that happens to Pete how
much all the time yeah it’s like this
all the time you know it’s like it’s yes
exactly well I set a goal and I didn’t
attain it so I’m not gonna set any more
goal right it’s like no you set a goal
that was inappropriate for the time
frame that’s right you didn’t calibrate
it properly and and you’re playing a
trick on yourself because you wanted to
fail so that you could justify not
having to try well I’ve being a victim
mmm which isn’t in helpful you’re still
gonna be a victim right there’s no way
out of that man so you know because life
is this life is a challenge that in some
sense can’t be surmounted so there’s no
way out of your problem
but there are certainly proper ways of
dealing with it yeah rule number two
find your why not only do you have to
move from point A to B in life but point
a is often a very difficult place to be
because we’re fragile and bounded and
mortal and limited and because we know
that and so one of the implications of
that as many great religious traditions
are at pains to illustrate or
demonstrate
or proclaim is that life is essentially
suffering and I believe that to be a
fundamental truth but but perhaps not
the most fundamental truth because I
think the most fundamental truth is that
despite the fact that life is suffering
people can transcend that and partly the
way they transcend that is by pursuing
things of value and so that if there is
no value proposition at hand then you
have no meaning to justify the difficult
conditions of your life and that’s
brutally difficult for people no
Nietzsche said he who has a why can bear
anyhow and you see and I’ve certainly
seen this as a clinical practitioner
that people who have no purpose in their
life are embittered by the difficulties
of their life and they become first
bitter and then resentful and then
revengeful and then cruel and there’s
plenty of places to go past cruel that’s
just where you start if you’re really on
a downhill path rule number three eat a
little poison every day the more radical
than necessary change the more pain that
accompanies it like the more opportunity
as well but and a lot of what we learn
we learn painfully and so it’s not
surprising that people shrink away from
learning we learn in pain and anxiety
very frequently everyone knows that like
the things that really that you really
learned in life it’s like there was no
joy man it took you out and so the fact
that people flee from that is hardly
surprising but it doesn’t help that’s
the thing it just stores up the
catastrophe for later and so the better
the better idea is to eat a little
poison every day so that you don’t have
to overdose in a month it’s something
like that and it is the case that I
think because you don’t you aren’t
forced first of all you don’t learn
unless you’re forced to learn I know
there’s alternatives to that there’s the
voluntary search for knowledge and
that’s a fine thing and that is an
antidote to this but apart from that
speaking more practically you tend not
to learn unless you’re forced to learn
and it’s and what you tend to learn by
force are difficult lessons and so
people are very prone to not
do not seek that out it’s not surprising
but it’s because they don’t understand
the consequences very well you know you
you it’s because maybe it’s because
they’re convinced that there’s some way
of for stalling the necessary learning
and there isn’t any way of for stalling
it all you do is make it worse in the
future you make yourself smaller and you
make the lesson harder and so that’s why
in so many religious doctrines there’s
emphasis on humility you know and
humility isn’t to debase yourself it’s
to understand that you don’t know enough
so that your life isn’t going to be
miserable and so every chance you get to
grab something new that will help you
along your way you should take it as
fast as you can but you have to have a
very tragic I would say view of reality
and also a harsh one because it’s not
just tragedy it’s also malevolence you
have to understand that those are
waiting for you and that makes you
desperate enough to learn and that might
be make you desperate enough to fall out
of your ideology but that’s that’s a
hard way of looking at the world it
beats living through it though rule
number four take responsibility so one
of the things I’ve been talking to my
audiences about is the relationship
between responsibility and meaning which
is and what would you say it’s a it’s a
constant refrain in the book it’s one of
its underlying messages let’s say or
themes is a better way of thinking about
it you know if you start with the
presumption that there’s a baseline of
suffering in life and that that can be
exaggerated by as a consequence of human
failing as a consequence of malevolence
and betrayal and self betrayal and
deceit and all those things that we do
to each other and ourselves that we know
that aren’t good that amplifies the
suffering that’s sort of the baseline
against which you have to work and and
and it’s contemplation of that often
that makes people hopeless and depressed
and anxious and overwhelmed and all of
that it and and they have the reasons
but you need something to put up against
that
and what you put up against that is
meaning meaning is actually the instinct
that helps you guide yourself through
that catastrophe and most of that
meaning is to be found in the adoption
of responsibility so if you think for
example if you think about the people
that you admire well you think about
when you have a clear conscience first
because that’s a good thing to aim at
which is something different than
happiness right a clear conscience is
different than happiness yeah it’s
better yeah that’s right other guilting
yourself you’re not feeling bad about
your sister right you feel that you’ve
just acclaimed you’ve justified your
existence right and so you’re not waking
up at 3 in the morning in a cold sweat
thinking about all the terrible things
that you’ve involved yourself in what
you said to someone that you should have
said or my you acted or what opportunity
you lost or yeah or or the things that
you’ve that you’ve let go that you
should have capitalized on and all of
that and so if you think about the times
when you’re at peace with yourself with
regards to how you’re conducting
yourself in the world it’s almost always
conditions under which you’ve adopted
responsibility right at least the most
the most guilt I think that you can
experience perhaps is the sure knowledge
that you’re not even taking care of
yourself so that you’re leaving that
responsibility to other people because
that’s pretty pathetic and I unless
you’re psychopathic and you know and
you’re living a parasitical life and
that that characterizes a very small
minority of people and an even smaller
minority think that’s justifiable but
most of the time you’re in guilt and
shame because you’re not you’re you’re
not not only are you not taking care of
yourself let’s say so someone else has
to but you’re not living up to your full
potential and so there’s an existential
weight that goes along with that rule
number five become disciplined we kind
of have this idea that while you’re free
as a child and then you let me see if I
can if I can put this properly that you
have a certain delightful wonderful
positive freedom as a child and then
that’s given up as you approach
adulthood but the truth of the matter is
is that you have a lot of potential as a
child but none of that is capable of
manifesting itself as freedom before you
become disciplined and discipline is a
matter of the imposition of or
and the order is necessary especially
for people who are hopeless and
nihilistic and lots of people are
hopeless and nihilistic way more people
than you think and part of that is
because no one’s ever really encouraged
them and so the book is in part a matter
of encouragement it’s like lay yourself
lay a disciplinary structure on yourself
get the chaos in in in check and then
you can move towards a state that’s
freer because it’s disciplined first
like look if you’re going to become a
concert pianist there’s going to be
several thousand hours of
extraordinarily disciplined practice
that’s the imposition of order on your
potential let’s say but what comes out
of that is a much grander freedom and so
in virtually every freedom that you have
in life that’s true freedom is purchased
at the price of discipline rule number
six be truthful your best bet is truth
but that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s
always going to do the trick right I
mean sometimes you go fight a dragon and
it eats you and if the if you being
eaten wasn’t a real possibility it
wouldn’t be a real fight and so you see
people like I’ve seen people in my
clinical practice sometimes I had one
client in particular who was undergoing
a particularly vicious divorce with
someone who was really seriously
inclined to take him out and would do
pretty much everything at her disposal
to do so and I strategized with him for
about three years and we did everything
like and hyper carefully he was a very
conscientious and diligent person and he
put into practice everything that we
discussed and strategized and he still
pretty much he got backed into a corner
so hard that I didn’t know how to help
him anymore
so I would say however that he like he
was a very truthful person throughout
that and one thing he did do was part of
it was a custody battle and he did
manage despite his decline in
consequence of being repeatedly cornered
I would say he did manage to establish
what I think was a lasting relationship
with his kids so he might have got
enough out of what he did to justify it
even though
the whole landscape was pretty awful I
think that not lying is your best bet
but life is hard and people get run over
and it doesn’t necessarily mean that
you’re going to emerge in any obvious
sense triumphant but if you take the
alternative path path especially when
you’re facing severe tribulations let’s
say and you complicate those with deceit
you can be sure that whatever tragedy
that you’re confronting is going to turn
into not only tragedy but something very
much akin to hell and so you might be
able to at least minimize the degree of
suffering even if you can’t overcome it
or transcendent and that’s something you
know rule number seven provide value
people came to my website because they
were interested in well before the
political stuff blew up I had a million
views on YouTube which isn’t nothing a
million of anything is a lot but then
when the political scandal started to
break yeah then people came for them but
stayed for the content and so and that’s
really useful yeah well it’s all well
and it’s not that surprised well you
know because of what you do it’s like
people there’s a great hunger for
information that is practical and useful
and that helps people find meaning in
their lives and orient themselves
there’s a great hunger for that and most
of my lectures were derived from solid
psychology some of it experimental some
of it biological some of it from from
from the domains of neuroscience a lot
of it from great clinicians it’s not
surprising that people find it helpful
because well great clinicians were great
because they were really helpful and so
to distill that and to offer it to
people in a digestible form to have that
have a good effect on them well that’s
that’s what you’d expect that’s what the
whole discipline is about and so that’s
been that’s been great rule number eight
just start doing a circumambulation that
jung talked about was this continual
will return to this this continual
circling in some sense of who you could
be you might notice for example that
there are themes in your life you know
when you go back across your experiences
you see
have your typical experience that sort
of repeats itself and there might be
variation on it like a musical theme but
it’s it’s like you’re circling yourself
and getting closer to yourself as you
move across time
that’s the circumambulation now you
remember that for a second as well go
back to it okay so imagine that
something glimmers before you it’s an an
interest that’s dawning and you decide
well first of all you’re paralyzed do
you think well how do I know if I should
pursue that it’s probably a stupid idea
and the proper response to that is
you’re right it probably is a stupid
idea
because almost all though all ideas are
stupid and so the probability that as
you move forward on your adventure that
you’re gonna get it right the first time
is zero
it’s just not gonna happen and so then
you might think well maybe I’ll just
wait around until I get the right idea
and which people do right so they’re
like 40 year old thirteen year olds
which is not a good idea so they wait
around until it’s Waiting for Godot
until they finally got it right but the
problem is you’re too stupid to know
when you’ve got it right so waiting
around isn’t gonna help because even if
it the perfect opportunity manifested
itself to you in your incomplete form
the probability that you would recognize
it as the perfect opportunity is zero
you might even think it’s the worst
possible idea that you’ve ever heard of
anywhere highly likely highly likely so
so you had there’s an itch of nature
called data will will to stupidity which
I really liked so because he thought of
stupidity as being it you know it’s it’s
you have to take it into account
fundamentally and work with it and so
and so you can take these tentative
steps on your pathway to destiny and you
can assume that you’re gonna do it badly
and that’s really useful because you
don’t have to beat yourself up it’s
pretty easy to do it badly but the thing
is it’s way better to do it badly than
not to do it at all so you you start
your path and you think that you’re
heading you know towards your star and
so you go in that direction and then
because you’re here the world looks a
particular way but then when you move
here the world looks different and
you’re different as a consequence of
having made that voyage and so what
means is that now that thing that
glimmers in front of you is going to
have shifted its location because you
weren’t very good at specifying it to
begin with and now that you’re a little
sharper and more focused than you were
it’s it’s going to reveal itself with
more accuracy to you and so then you
have to take you know it’s almost like
180 degree reversal but it isn’t because
you know you’ve
I mean you’ve gone this far and that’s a
long ways to get that far but that’s a
lot farther than you would be if you
just stayed where you were waiting and
so it doesn’t matter that you overshoot
continually because as you overshoot
even if you don’t learn what you should
have done you’re going to continually
learn what you shouldn’t keep doing and
if you learn enough about what you
shouldn’t keep doing then that’s
tantamount at some point to learning at
the same time what you should be doing
so it’s okay so it’s like this now
what’s cool about it though I think is
that as you progress the degree of
overshooting starts to decline right and
that we know that there’s nothing
hypothetical about that as you learn a
new skill like even to play it play a
song on the piano for example you over
shoot madly you’re making all sorts of
mistakes to begin with and then the
mistakes they disappear so anyways the
fact that you’re full of faults doesn’t
mean you have to stop and thank God for
that that’s a really useful thing and
the fact that you’re full of faults
doesn’t mean that you can’t learn and so
you can pause it an ideal and you’re
gonna be wrong about it but it doesn’t
matter because what you’re right about
is positing the ideal moving towards it
if the actual ideal isn’t conceptualize
perfectly well first surprise surprise
because like what are you going to do
that’s perfect so it doesn’t matter that
it’s imperfect imperfect it just matters
that you do it and that you move forward
so that’s really that’s really positive
news as far as I’m concerned because you
can
actually do that right you can do it
badly anyone can do that so that’s
that’s useful rule number nine develop
your communication skills I’m incredibly
nervous to talk in front of you because
you’ve got to be one of the most
formidable people that I’ve ever heard
of or ever listened to her ever seen so
my question is again you’re one of the
best communicators that I’ve ever
listened to if I could be half as good
at you or at communicating as you are I
would be set how can I teach myself to
do that practice you know really like
well there’s a couple of things is helps
to read a lot it really helps to write
so if you want to make yourself
articulate which is a very good idea
then not only should you read but you
should write down what you think and if
you can do that a little bit every day
15 minutes maybe you could steal 15
minutes and do it every day but if you
do that for 10 years you really
straighten out your thinking if you’re
gonna speak effectively you have to know
way more than you’re talking about you
know so if you this is often difficult
for beginning lectures at university
because they’ll do a lecture on a topic
but they only know as much as they’re
saying in the lecture and they get kind
of stuck to their notes because of it
but you want to know 10 times as much as
you are saying in the lecture and then
you can specify a stepping path through
it and elaborate with the other things
that you know but to do that you have to
do a lot of reading but you also have to
do a lot of reading because that’s where
the synthesize that’s where the
synthesizing comes so that’s on the
input side and then on the output side
well there’s some tricks techniques
let’s say is like if you’re speaking in
front of a group you are not delivering
a talk to a group that’s not what you’re
doing the talk isn’t a package thing
that you present to a group there isn’t
a group there’s a bunch of individuals
and you talk to them so when I talk to a
group I always talk to people one at a
time and that makes it easier
because you know how to talk to a person
it’s like can you talk to a thousand
people well probably not because it’s
too intimidating
but there isn’t a thousand people there
there’s thousand individuals and so you
just look at an individual and you say
something and you can tell if they’re
engaged they look confused or they look
interested or they look angry or they
look bored or maybe they’re asleep in
which case you look at someone else and
they give you feedback about how you’re
doing and so one thing is to to have
something to say yeah but the next thing
is pay attention to who you’re talking
to because unless you’re very badly
socialized and that seems unlikely in
your case because you know you present
yourself at least moderately well you
know and well I mean I don’t know you
very well but at first but on first
sight you know you’re doing fine so the
probability that if you pay attention to
the individuals that you’re talking to
that your natural wealth of social skill
will manifest itself is extremely high
and so you don’t deliver a talk to an
audience that’s a really bad way of
thinking about you’re actually engaged
in a conversation with an audience even
if they’re not talking they’re nodding
and shifting position and you know
looking like this or and you can you can
pull all that in and and and use it to
govern the level at which you’re
addressing the entire audience so the
last thing I would say is well having
the aim to be a good communicator is a
good start and you think well I could
bunch us that to some degree well there
isn’t anything that you can possibly
this is the whole point of a liberal
education there isn’t anything that you
can possibly do that makes you more
competent in everything you do than to
learn how to communicate I don’t care if
you’re gonna be a carpenter I mean being
a carpenter by the way is very difficult
especially if you’re a good carpenter
but if you’re good at communicating as a
carpenter you’re like ten times better
as a carpenter so the and this is
something that the liberal arts colleges
I think and I don’t know if they’ve
forgotten it but they don’t do a very
good job of marketing it’s like what’s
the use of a bad
first agreed and Bachelor of Arts it’s
like well you can think you can write
you can speak you’ve read something it’s
like the economic value that is
incalculable the people that I’ve
watched in my life have been
spectacularly successful are they have
skills clearly that that’s a minimum
precondition but they’re also very very
good at articulating themselves and so
whenever they negotiate they’re
successful
well that’s kind of like the definition
of success in life right you negotiate
and your six doesn’t mean you win
because if you’re a good negotiator if
you’re really good negotiator everybody
walks away from the negotiation thrilled
and so then people line up to do things
with you so and that’s all that’s all
dependent on your ability to communicate
so practice and rule number ten the last
one before a very special bonus clip is
fight for what you stand for but our
topic is the rising tide of compelled
that’s pure narcissism at work by the
way
you don’t to hijack to hijack an event
like this that other people put time and
effort into and to use they there are
their civility of the crowd and the
civility of the organizers as an excuse
to blatantly yell out your ill informed
opinions is no way to conduct a civil
dialogue it’s absolutely appalling the
people who do that should be embarrassed
do you see you know
[Music]
that that and mark my words
that’s the sounds of the barbarians
you know that’s all I’ll tell you again
too that you soon inchoate what would
you call it inchoate sensation is the
best formulation of their argument and
there’s not much difference between
knocking on the doors and knocking on
you so keep that in mind it’s not
amusing there’s nothing to it there’s
nothing for it the thing that’s also
quite appalling is that there’s no
evidence whatsoever that the people who
are conducting these protests know what
it is that they’re protesting against
you know I was in alright I was in the
midst of a discussion attempting to make
the case that it’s freedom of speech
that’s that is what people who have
nothing still have right so if you look
at the tyrannical structure of our
society let’s say the people at the top
have access to means of communication
everyone knows that it’s the people at
the bottom who have the right to say
what they think however badly they say
it that enables them to get a toehold
into the system into and to make their
suffering known that’s what freedom of
speech is for and so like what’s the
protest against that and I’ll tell you
you know that the radical neo-marxist
types they speak the language of power
and that’s what they’re speaking right
now and if you want to live in a world
where everyone speaks the language of
power then just let them do what they’re
doing and see what happens I wouldn’t
recommend it it’s not a pretty road and
you’re all in a position you’re on the
situation in your life now where you
have to make decisions about this sorts
of things like is this the sort of
now I’ve got a really special bonus clip
from Jordan Peterson on how to take
risks that I think you’re gonna really
enjoy but before that it’s time for the
three-point landing questions time to
move from just watching another video to
actually taking action in your life or
in your business and if you’re feeling
bold answer the questions in the
comments below here we go question
number one what poison will you eat
today number two what do you need to
start doing this week and number three
there is definitely an epidemic of
overprotective parenting but it’s useful
to ask why and my suspicions are is that
this is driven by very fundamental
biological and cultural phenomena that
aren’t generally considered in
relationship to this issue we don’t have
very many children we don’t have 12 you
know six of whom die
we have one or two and that makes them
very precious right
we’re unwilling to take risks with them
and no wonder and then we also have them
much later in life and so like if you
have a kid when you’re 18 you’re still a
kid you know you’re gonna go out and
have your life right because you’re so
well you’re in the in the height of your
exploratory you’re in the height of the
exploratory part of your life you’re not
gonna over protect your kid because
you’re still a kid but if you’re 40 and
you have one child it’s like all your
eggs are in one basket
and the probability that you’re going to
take undue risks with that precious
person is very very low now obviously
there’s some advantages to that because
great you devote resources to your child
you know and foster their development
but the downside is that you have every
motivation to hover and maybe you’re
also extraordinarily desperate as a
mother to maintain that bond with your
child because you’ve struggled so long
to achieve it it’s highly highly
valuable
you can’t take a risk well so these so
we might say well perhaps overprotective
parenting is a secondary and unintended
consequence of the birth control pill
and the fact that people now have
children later in life could easily be
you know if you have six kids it’s like
what are gonna do hi helicopter parent
them it’s like dude oh yeah you’re so
tired you can’t even get off the couch
if you have six kids and there they
outnumber you right there raising each
other they’re competing and they’re
taking each other down a peg they’re not
there’s no overprotection there but with
it with a single child landscape or dual
child landscape mostly a single toe
landscape then you’re gonna over protect
and then that ethos starts to permeate
the schools and it starts to permeate
the higher education institutions as
those children mature and then that all
reinforces it not good it’s not obvious
what to do about it either because if it
is driven by demographics in that in
that sense it’s a much more intractable
problem than we think
so I did some of that in 12 rules for
life you know I said look you what you
have to understand is that you’re a
danger to your children no matter what
right you can let them go out in the
world and be hurt or you can over
protect them and hurt them that way so
you here’s your choice you can make your
children competent and courageous or you
can make them safe but you can’t make
them safe because life isn’t safe so if
you sacrifice their courage and
competence on the altar of safety then
you disarm them completely and all they
can do is pray to be protected the most
important work ever if you had to think
of one word that’s most important to you
or that sums you Apple that would be
like a little beacon
if you want to know Jordan Peterson’s 12
rules for life I think you’re gonna
really like the video right next to me
go check it out
continue to believe and they’ll see you
there people in general now a very poor
posture very bad for the junction is
like take a look at the people that are around you
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