good morning believe nation today’s
message is be honest with yourself
over to you Mel Robbins we live in the
most amazing moment in time so that
thing that you have up here whatever it
may be you want to use healthy eating to
cure your diabetes you want to figure
out how to take care of the elders and
start a new hospice center you want to
move to Africa and build a school guess
what you can walk into a bookstore right
now and buy at least ten books written
by credentialed experts on how the hell
you doing you could google it and you
could probably find at least I know a
thousand blogs documenting the step by
step by step transformation that
somebody else is already doing you can
find anybody online and cyberstalk them
you can just walk in there split steps
and let that you know just use the
science of drafting follow what everyone
else has done cuz somebody else is
already doing it
so why don’t you have what you want when
you have all the information that you
need you have the contacts that you need
there are probably free tools online
that allow you to start a business or
join a group or do whatever the heck you
want it all comes down to one word
shut the front door you know what I’m
talking about the f-bomb it’s everywhere
you hear it all the time and I honestly
don’t understand what the appeal is of
the word I mean you don’t sound smart
when you say it and it’s really not
expressing how you really feel it’s sort
of a cheap you know shot to take and of
course you know I’m talking about the
word fine how you doing on fine oh
really you are dragging around those
extra 40 pounds you’re fine
feeling like roommates with your spouse
and you’re fine you haven’t had sex in
four months you’re fine really
I don’t think so but see here’s the deal
with saying that you’re fine it’s
actually genius because if you’re fine
you don’t have to do anything about it
but when you think about this word fine
it just makes me so angry I mean here we
are at a conference about being alive
and you’re going to describe the
experience of being alive as fine a
flimsy and feeble word your crappy so
your crappy if you’re amazing say you’re
amazing
tell the truth and this not only goes
for the social construct though I want
to burden you with the fact that I hate
my life for you I am amazing but that
would make you feel terrible
the bigger issue the bigger issue with
fine is that you say it to yourself that
thing that you want I guarantee you
you’ve convinced yourself that you’re
fine not having it that’s why you’re not
pushing yourself it’s the areas in your
life where you’ve given up where you’ve
said oh I’m fine
my mom’s never going to change so I just
can’t have that conversation I’m fine
you know we got to wait until the kids
graduate before we get divorced so we’ll
just sleep in separate bedrooms I’m fine
I lost my job I can barely pay my bills
but whatever it’s hard to get a job
and you know one of the reasons why this
word also just annoys me so much is
scientists have calculated oh yeah I’m
coming down scientists have calculated
the odds of you being born that’s right
they’ve crunched the numbers I see you
up there
they have crunched the numbers on you
yeah no you guys standing up you want to
sit down to this they’ve crunched the
numbers on you being born and they took
into account all of the wars and the
natural disasters and the dinosaurs and
everything else and you realize that the
odds the odds of you yeah right here put
your computer way stand up for me done
so the odds of judger turn around say hi
to everybody the odds
yeah of Doug Doug’s being born at the
moment in time he was born to the
parents you were born to with the DNA
structure that you have a hundred under
one and four hundred trillion
isn’t it amazing we’re so lucky yes
you’re not fine you’re fantastic
you have life-changing ideas for a
reason and it’s not to torture yourself
thank you thank you Doug you know
Christine was right when she said all of
you could be on stage because all of you
are all in this category one and four
hundred trillion all day long you have
ideas that could change your life that
could change the world that could change
the way that you feel and what do you do
with them nothing Oh hopefully it won’t
loan you
we didn’t pay for that to be an
exceptional entrepreneur you need to be
allergic to mediocrity you need to have
an allergy to mediocrity you got to take
something that has been good and has
been good and has been good and make it
great be upset as good that’s the way
great progress happens and the only way
you do it is because you have that deep
love for what you’re doing is that deep
love for your business because otherwise
you’re going to say that’s okay you know
what that video are made that was okay
I’m good with it he just keeps staying
on the same treadmill instead of moving
forward I really got a comment on one of
my youtube videos I was talking about my
book and I’m not super happy with my
book cover talking about lessons I had
learned in my book launch and one of the
things that I wish I had more time when
was my book cover because it wasn’t a
huge fan of it and I got a comment and
the comment was it’s easily an above
average book cover and I get it I get
the love I don’t want to rip into this
comment I get to love write it it’s what
we do we try to encourage others to do
better when when we have found that we
are unhappy with something right and
we’re down what do people tell us oh
you’re doing a great job you’re doing
really well that’s an above average
performance I don’t want to be above
average it drives me nuts
I do not want to be above average I want
you guys to hold me to a higher standard
– I want suggestions and he forgot how
to make things better but when I look at
the things that I make I’m equally happy
with them like I’m proud of what we made
with the resources we have skills
ability but at the same time wanted to
be better I wanted to be it’s a lot of
to be more that’s what we do progress
equals happiness you want to grow you
want to continue to get better otherwise
you get bored and your customers get
bored your audience gets bored and so I
don’t think you should ever settle for
above average in anything if you know
you can do better if you’re performing
at the top of your abilities right now
then that’s okay then that’s great
that’s what you want to be doing but if
you know you can do better
push harder there’s a lot of people who
may look up to somebody and say well
look at what they’re doing and you know
you can get there but you can’t you’re
not there yet you want to play this
beautiful piece of piano you know you
know you can get there you’re just
starting off learning a couple keys now
maybe right now that’s all you can do is
a couple keys but you can work harder to
get better and improve improve improve
improve improve progress equals
happiness stop settling for average and
you know what one thing I would
challenge you to do it’s always easy to
lean in on empathy when you see a friend
who’s down it’s easy to lean on empathy
but maybe you should push them to do
better even when somebody’s down on
their luck or maybe when someone made a
video on they and they sucked at it
maybe telling them I feel you I know you
can do a lot better and so just saying
that was really good when you know that
I wasn’t even really good right we tell
we tell ourselves we tell others the
things that something is really good
when we know it’s not and you don’t have
to beat them down but telling them that
you know they can do better you believe
in them can make all the difference in
the world and bringing them back up and
then shooting beyond their comfort zone
stop settling for average so the
question today today is I’m curious what
are you guys right now settling for
average in that you want to start
pushing harder on leave it now in the
comments below
I’m curious see what you guys have to
say I also give a quick shout out to
Malika I hope I pronounced that okay
thank you so much for breaking up a copy
of my book your one word
really really really means a lot to me
and I hope you enjoying the read thank
you guys again for watching I believe in
you I hope you continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your word word is
what’s love I will see you again
tomorrow morning for another shot of
espresso
more espresso keep me go
when I was 22 right after I graduated
from Dartmouth I was so focused on
making everyone happy that I almost
chose the worst possible career for my
personality it’s not a bad career it
just would have been horrendous for me I
was interested in the environment so I
decided oh yeah I’ll go get a law degree
and then I’ll go work in Washington and
I think maybe I’ll work on environmental
policy and I’d probably end up in some
cube farm and everyone was thrilled with
the plan everyone it turns out but me so
here I am I’m driving a u-haul across
country to go to law school and to get a
degree in environmental law and
something started to gnaw at me and with
every single mile that I drove my
thoughts were getting louder and doubts
were starting to pour in my gut was
telling me Mel turn the damn u-haul
around but the problem was that
everything was already in place right I
mean I’m already in the u-haul the thing
is already packed I’m already 10 miles
into my drive the tuition had been paid
for the first semester I had signed a
lease I mean I could not undo these
things
isn’t that why it’s so difficult for you
to make changes in your life because you
think that things can’t be undone the
fact is any excuse that you come up with
you can undo tuition can be reimbursed
apartments can be leased Plan B can be
invented so I got up I repack that
u-haul and I drove out of town
I let myself make a u-turn in life if
you ever find your gut battling your
head save yourself the drama I guarantee
you your gut is right guarantee you your
excuses can be undone and I guarantee
you you can make a u-turn in your life
right now if you want to so if it were
easy to get what you wanted in life
Google would have already figured out an
app you would just type in okay I’m a
student and I want to go from being a
student to being successful and Google
would tell you go to college then you
get your masters then you land this
killer job and then you put in a bunch
of face time while you’re checking
Facebook then you get promoted to
manager
then you realize managing people kind of
thinks and then you keep climbing the
corporate ladder and then you start to
wonder well how did I end up here
anyways this what success looks like
you’re like no I’m going to go to Jay
hilburn that’s what success looks like
so keep this in mind if there’s
something that you want like seven
people or a trip to Africa or you’re
going to make it to Mexico in the pink
shirt I’m looking at you again sir
I’m watching you and rooting for you
keep in mind this here you are this is
what you want I spend a lot of time on
lacrosse fields although they don’t
really look like this you tend to think
that what you want you just march right
towards it but if in sports you march
right towards the goal what happens the
defenders come in and what the defenders
are is it’s your brain saying ain’t
going to happen
so the second you start moving toward
that thing you want be ready you’re
going to tell yourself you don’t feel
like it you’re going to have to force
yourself it’s happening there’s no way
to get around it so what you’re going to
have to do is you’re going to basically
get bounced around a lot all over the
place and they’re going to be a lot of
times that you feel like this was a
really dumb idea to start this business
because it’s going to get hard and I
want to remind you about something
unlike a sports field where there’s an
in and out of bounds the great thing
about life is there actually aren’t any
and it’s usually in those moments where
you feel like you can’t do it that
you’re closer than ever to having
everything that you wanted and I wanted
to show you this so that you keep it in
mind because I think a lot of times when
you look back it’s the darkest moments
where you realize holy cow that’s what
projected me forward
message is be honest with yourself
over to you Mel Robbins we live in the
most amazing moment in time so that
thing that you have up here whatever it
may be you want to use healthy eating to
cure your diabetes you want to figure
out how to take care of the elders and
start a new hospice center you want to
move to Africa and build a school guess
what you can walk into a bookstore right
now and buy at least ten books written
by credentialed experts on how the hell
you doing you could google it and you
could probably find at least I know a
thousand blogs documenting the step by
step by step transformation that
somebody else is already doing you can
find anybody online and cyberstalk them
you can just walk in there split steps
and let that you know just use the
science of drafting follow what everyone
else has done cuz somebody else is
already doing it
so why don’t you have what you want when
you have all the information that you
need you have the contacts that you need
there are probably free tools online
that allow you to start a business or
join a group or do whatever the heck you
want it all comes down to one word
shut the front door you know what I’m
talking about the f-bomb it’s everywhere
you hear it all the time and I honestly
don’t understand what the appeal is of
the word I mean you don’t sound smart
when you say it and it’s really not
expressing how you really feel it’s sort
of a cheap you know shot to take and of
course you know I’m talking about the
word fine how you doing on fine oh
really you are dragging around those
extra 40 pounds you’re fine
feeling like roommates with your spouse
and you’re fine you haven’t had sex in
four months you’re fine really
I don’t think so but see here’s the deal
with saying that you’re fine it’s
actually genius because if you’re fine
you don’t have to do anything about it
but when you think about this word fine
it just makes me so angry I mean here we
are at a conference about being alive
and you’re going to describe the
experience of being alive as fine a
flimsy and feeble word your crappy so
your crappy if you’re amazing say you’re
amazing
tell the truth and this not only goes
for the social construct though I want
to burden you with the fact that I hate
my life for you I am amazing but that
would make you feel terrible
the bigger issue the bigger issue with
fine is that you say it to yourself that
thing that you want I guarantee you
you’ve convinced yourself that you’re
fine not having it that’s why you’re not
pushing yourself it’s the areas in your
life where you’ve given up where you’ve
said oh I’m fine
my mom’s never going to change so I just
can’t have that conversation I’m fine
you know we got to wait until the kids
graduate before we get divorced so we’ll
just sleep in separate bedrooms I’m fine
I lost my job I can barely pay my bills
but whatever it’s hard to get a job
and you know one of the reasons why this
word also just annoys me so much is
scientists have calculated oh yeah I’m
coming down scientists have calculated
the odds of you being born that’s right
they’ve crunched the numbers I see you
up there
they have crunched the numbers on you
yeah no you guys standing up you want to
sit down to this they’ve crunched the
numbers on you being born and they took
into account all of the wars and the
natural disasters and the dinosaurs and
everything else and you realize that the
odds the odds of you yeah right here put
your computer way stand up for me done
so the odds of judger turn around say hi
to everybody the odds
yeah of Doug Doug’s being born at the
moment in time he was born to the
parents you were born to with the DNA
structure that you have a hundred under
one and four hundred trillion
isn’t it amazing we’re so lucky yes
you’re not fine you’re fantastic
you have life-changing ideas for a
reason and it’s not to torture yourself
thank you thank you Doug you know
Christine was right when she said all of
you could be on stage because all of you
are all in this category one and four
hundred trillion all day long you have
ideas that could change your life that
could change the world that could change
the way that you feel and what do you do
with them nothing Oh hopefully it won’t
loan you
we didn’t pay for that to be an
exceptional entrepreneur you need to be
allergic to mediocrity you need to have
an allergy to mediocrity you got to take
something that has been good and has
been good and has been good and make it
great be upset as good that’s the way
great progress happens and the only way
you do it is because you have that deep
love for what you’re doing is that deep
love for your business because otherwise
you’re going to say that’s okay you know
what that video are made that was okay
I’m good with it he just keeps staying
on the same treadmill instead of moving
forward I really got a comment on one of
my youtube videos I was talking about my
book and I’m not super happy with my
book cover talking about lessons I had
learned in my book launch and one of the
things that I wish I had more time when
was my book cover because it wasn’t a
huge fan of it and I got a comment and
the comment was it’s easily an above
average book cover and I get it I get
the love I don’t want to rip into this
comment I get to love write it it’s what
we do we try to encourage others to do
better when when we have found that we
are unhappy with something right and
we’re down what do people tell us oh
you’re doing a great job you’re doing
really well that’s an above average
performance I don’t want to be above
average it drives me nuts
I do not want to be above average I want
you guys to hold me to a higher standard
– I want suggestions and he forgot how
to make things better but when I look at
the things that I make I’m equally happy
with them like I’m proud of what we made
with the resources we have skills
ability but at the same time wanted to
be better I wanted to be it’s a lot of
to be more that’s what we do progress
equals happiness you want to grow you
want to continue to get better otherwise
you get bored and your customers get
bored your audience gets bored and so I
don’t think you should ever settle for
above average in anything if you know
you can do better if you’re performing
at the top of your abilities right now
then that’s okay then that’s great
that’s what you want to be doing but if
you know you can do better
push harder there’s a lot of people who
may look up to somebody and say well
look at what they’re doing and you know
you can get there but you can’t you’re
not there yet you want to play this
beautiful piece of piano you know you
know you can get there you’re just
starting off learning a couple keys now
maybe right now that’s all you can do is
a couple keys but you can work harder to
get better and improve improve improve
improve improve progress equals
happiness stop settling for average and
you know what one thing I would
challenge you to do it’s always easy to
lean in on empathy when you see a friend
who’s down it’s easy to lean on empathy
but maybe you should push them to do
better even when somebody’s down on
their luck or maybe when someone made a
video on they and they sucked at it
maybe telling them I feel you I know you
can do a lot better and so just saying
that was really good when you know that
I wasn’t even really good right we tell
we tell ourselves we tell others the
things that something is really good
when we know it’s not and you don’t have
to beat them down but telling them that
you know they can do better you believe
in them can make all the difference in
the world and bringing them back up and
then shooting beyond their comfort zone
stop settling for average so the
question today today is I’m curious what
are you guys right now settling for
average in that you want to start
pushing harder on leave it now in the
comments below
I’m curious see what you guys have to
say I also give a quick shout out to
Malika I hope I pronounced that okay
thank you so much for breaking up a copy
of my book your one word
really really really means a lot to me
and I hope you enjoying the read thank
you guys again for watching I believe in
you I hope you continue to believe in
yourself and whatever your word word is
what’s love I will see you again
tomorrow morning for another shot of
espresso
more espresso keep me go
when I was 22 right after I graduated
from Dartmouth I was so focused on
making everyone happy that I almost
chose the worst possible career for my
personality it’s not a bad career it
just would have been horrendous for me I
was interested in the environment so I
decided oh yeah I’ll go get a law degree
and then I’ll go work in Washington and
I think maybe I’ll work on environmental
policy and I’d probably end up in some
cube farm and everyone was thrilled with
the plan everyone it turns out but me so
here I am I’m driving a u-haul across
country to go to law school and to get a
degree in environmental law and
something started to gnaw at me and with
every single mile that I drove my
thoughts were getting louder and doubts
were starting to pour in my gut was
telling me Mel turn the damn u-haul
around but the problem was that
everything was already in place right I
mean I’m already in the u-haul the thing
is already packed I’m already 10 miles
into my drive the tuition had been paid
for the first semester I had signed a
lease I mean I could not undo these
things
isn’t that why it’s so difficult for you
to make changes in your life because you
think that things can’t be undone the
fact is any excuse that you come up with
you can undo tuition can be reimbursed
apartments can be leased Plan B can be
invented so I got up I repack that
u-haul and I drove out of town
I let myself make a u-turn in life if
you ever find your gut battling your
head save yourself the drama I guarantee
you your gut is right guarantee you your
excuses can be undone and I guarantee
you you can make a u-turn in your life
right now if you want to so if it were
easy to get what you wanted in life
Google would have already figured out an
app you would just type in okay I’m a
student and I want to go from being a
student to being successful and Google
would tell you go to college then you
get your masters then you land this
killer job and then you put in a bunch
of face time while you’re checking
Facebook then you get promoted to
manager
then you realize managing people kind of
thinks and then you keep climbing the
corporate ladder and then you start to
wonder well how did I end up here
anyways this what success looks like
you’re like no I’m going to go to Jay
hilburn that’s what success looks like
so keep this in mind if there’s
something that you want like seven
people or a trip to Africa or you’re
going to make it to Mexico in the pink
shirt I’m looking at you again sir
I’m watching you and rooting for you
keep in mind this here you are this is
what you want I spend a lot of time on
lacrosse fields although they don’t
really look like this you tend to think
that what you want you just march right
towards it but if in sports you march
right towards the goal what happens the
defenders come in and what the defenders
are is it’s your brain saying ain’t
going to happen
so the second you start moving toward
that thing you want be ready you’re
going to tell yourself you don’t feel
like it you’re going to have to force
yourself it’s happening there’s no way
to get around it so what you’re going to
have to do is you’re going to basically
get bounced around a lot all over the
place and they’re going to be a lot of
times that you feel like this was a
really dumb idea to start this business
because it’s going to get hard and I
want to remind you about something
unlike a sports field where there’s an
in and out of bounds the great thing
about life is there actually aren’t any
and it’s usually in those moments where
you feel like you can’t do it that
you’re closer than ever to having
everything that you wanted and I wanted
to show you this so that you keep it in
mind because I think a lot of times when
you look back it’s the darkest moments
where you realize holy cow that’s what
projected me forward
Please follow and like us: