be more authentic become more authentic
be authentic
what’s that believe nation it’s Evan my
one word is believe and I believe in you
I believe you have an amazing gift
inside you that I want to see exploded
onto the world now I started the one
rule series because I consume a ton of
content from all the top tens from other
people that I profile and some of the
rules keep coming up over and over and
over again and so the one rule series
smush it together
the most common rules that keep coming
up into one video for you so today we’re
gonna learn how to be authentic enjoy I
[Music]
think that success is a process and I
believe that my first Easter speech and
the Kosciusko Baptist Church at the age
of three and a half was was the
beginning and that every other speech
every other book I read every other time
I spoke in public was was a building
block so that by the time I first sat
down to audition in front of a
television camera and somebody says read
this what allows me to read it so
comfortably and be so at ease with
myself at that time was the fact that
I’d been doing in a while if I’d never
read a book like never spoken in public
before I would have been traumatized by
it so the fact that we went on the air
with The Oprah Winfrey Show in 1986
nationally and people say oh but you’re
so comfortable in from the camera you
can be yourself well it’s because I’ve
been being myself since I was 19 and I
would not have I would not have been
able to be as comfortable with myself
had I not made mistakes on the air and
been allowed to make mistakes on the air
and understand that it doesn’t matter
you know I there’s no such thing to me
as an embarrassing moment no such thing
if I tripped and fell if my bra strap
showed if my slip fell off if I fell
flat on my face there’s no such thing as
an embarrassing moment because I know
that there is not a moment that I could
possibly experience on the
err that somebody else hasn’t already
experienced so when it happens you say
oh my slip fell off and it’s it’s no big
deal I mean like I was on TV the other
day and somebody says oh where you have
a run have you not seen a run before in
your life well I get them to let me tell
you so I mean yeah I can’t be
embarrassed I can’t be embarrassed now
when I first started out that was not
true because I was under think I was
pretending to be somebody I was not I
was pretending to be Barbara Walters so
I’d go to a news conference and I was
more interested in how I phrased the
question and how eloquent the question
sounded as opposed to listening to the
answer I saw well which always happens
when you’re interested in in impressing
people instead of doing what you’re
supposed to be doing and it took me a
while it took me messing up on the air
on during a live newscast I was doing a
list of foreign countries and I there
was all these foreign names and then
Canada was thrown in and I call Canada
Canada and I got so tickled that I
called Ken I got that wasn’t come on now
that was Canada excuse me
that wasn’t kind of that was that wasn’t
Kannada that was Canada and then I
started laughing well it was it was it
became a mutt became the first real
moment I ever had and the news director
later said to me well if you do that
then you should just keep going you
shouldn’t correct yourself and let
people know I know well who’s ever heard
are kind of odd ah so that was for me
the beginning of realizing that oh you
can laugh at yourself and you can make a
mistake and it’s not the end of the
world you don’t have to be perfect and
biggest lesson for me for television
because then it didn’t matter didn’t
matter oh sorry bra strap showing adopt
the mode of authentic being and that is
something like refusing to participate
in the lie in deception in the lie to
orient your speech as much as you can
towards the truth and to take
responsibility for your own life and
perhaps also for the lives of other
people
and there’s something about that that’s
meaningful and responsible and Noble but
also serves to mitigate the very
suffering that produces say the nihilism
or the flee into the
arms of fleet are lower or the or the
escape into the arms of totalitarians to
begin with you need something to shelter
you against your own vulnerability every
decision we make in our lives as
individuals or as organizations is a
piece of communication it’s our way of
saying something about who we are and
what we believe this is why authenticity
matters this is why you have to say and
do the things you actually believe
because the things you say and do are
symbols of who you are and we look for
those symbols so we can find people who
believe what we believe our very
survival depends on it so if you’re
putting out false symbols you will
attract people to those symbols but you
won’t be able to form trust with them
this is what Tiger Woods did to us he
lied he lied he told us what he thought
we wanted to hear and it was great and
we were drawn to it and all of us who
kind of liked that idea of the sort of
the good guy were drawn to it until we
found out it was a lie he could have
been the bad boy of golf he could have
had all the same endorsements and had a
fantastic career and still been hailed
as one of the great athletes of our day
but he didn’t he chose to lie good luck
forming trust again tiger we don’t
believe you we don’t trust you the goal
of putting something out there if you
say what you believe and you do what you
believe you will attract people who
believe what you believe if you go to
one of your friends and you say to one
of your friends how would you like me to
dress so that you’ll like me better how
do you want me to address you how do you
want me to speak so that you’ll like me
more right your friends are gonna look
at you be like what are you talking
about yeah come on come on come on what
should I wear so that you’ll find me
more appealing and how would you like me
to speak to you so that you’ll like me
more and your friends are gonna tell you
just be yourself that’s why I like you I
don’t just be yourself now think about
what we do in industry what do we do we
do market research and we go out and we
ask the customers what kind of things
the way what style should we speak to
you how should we decorate ourselves
what kind of things are you drawn to
so that we can do those things do you
like us more it’s just as ridiculous
it’s just as ridiculous organizations
should say and do the things they
actually believe and they will attract
people who believe what they believe or
they can choose to lie and at the
slightest hint that they might be lying
cynicism sets in and people start saying
I’m not sure I can trust these guys
because there’s not a lot of consistency
and all the things they say and do which
means they can’t have a very strong
belief set or they’re lying to me and we
call them into authentic the entire
process of asking other people who we
should be is inauthentic that’s
hilarious to me all these positioning
studies we do are inherent
we’re gonna do a study to find out from
people so we can be more authentic
that’s hilarious
say and do what you actually believe in
the symbols you put out there the things
you say and the things you do those red
hats are ways that people can find you
what you have the ability to do as
designers is create those symbols and
allow people to use those things to say
something about who they are work for
companies work for clients work for
people who you believe what they believe
show up and feel a part of something
bigger than yourself and your part is to
put what they believe into pictures and
words and symbols and graphics so that
other people can use those things to say
something about who they are people put
harley-davidson logos on their body to
say something about who they are
corporate logo ain’t no Procter &
Gamble’s tattooed on anybody’s on
because Harley means something they
stand for something people put that
tattoo on there not to tell you that
they own a motorcycle they put that
tattoo there to tell you something about
themselves you ever see anybody with a
with a Mac laptop put a sticker over
that beautiful shining Apple ain’t never
gonna happen then how will you know who
I am do you ever see anybody with a PC
break out the Windex to clean out their
computer Mac people
have you ever seen a dirty Mac doesn’t
exist does not exist why because it’s
Who I am
these are symbols we use the companies
that are crystal clear and what they
believe and their discipline and how
they do it they’re consistent of what
they do and everything they say and
everything they do serves as a symbol of
the set of values and beliefs we use
those symbols to say something about who
we are we surround ourselves with the
people and the products and the brands
that say something about who we are and
when we can find the people who believe
what we believe
we’re weirdly drawn to them because our
very survival depends on it
we need it and so the more you can give
of yourself the more you can give of
what you believe the more you can
discipline with discipline saying boo
and do the things you actually believe
strange things start to happen next I’ve
always felt a deep sense of obligation
to make the biggest impact possible with
this incredible platform so I took on
issues that were personal to me issues
like helping families raise healthier
kids honoring the incredible military
family that I’ve met out on the campaign
trail inspiring our young people to
value their education and finish college
now some folks criticize my choices for
not being bold enough but these were my
choices my issues and I decided to
tackle them in a way that felt most
authentic to me in a way that was both
substantive and strategic but also fun
and hopefully inspiring so I immersed
myself in the policy details I worked
with Congress on legislation against
speeches to CEOs military generals
Hollywood executives but I also worked
to ensure that my efforts would resonate
with kids and families and that meant
doing things in a creative and
unconventional way so yeah I planted a
garden and hula hooped on the White
House lawn with kids I did some mom
dancing on TV
I celebrated military kids with Kermit
the Frog
I asked folks across the country to wear
their alma mater t-shirts for college
signing day and at the end of the day by
staying true to the me I’ve always known
I found that this journey has been
incredibly freeing because no matter
what happened I had the peace of mind of
knowing that all of the chatter the
name-calling the doubting all of it was
just noise it did not define me it
didn’t change who I was and most
importantly it couldn’t hold me back I
have learned that as long as I hold fast
to my beliefs and values and follow my
own moral compass then the only
expectations I need to leave live up to
are my own but you do have this ruthless
way of approaching your character your
you who you are on Kitchen Nightmares
Hell’s Kitchen you have high standards
professionally but it must be said on TV
at least you do you attack kitchen staff
on their gender their parents their
intelligence it seems like you’re bigger
than life in your reality your TV
persona is that for an American audience
is that for for is that a character
you’re playing first of all I don’t
attack any form of gender that’s for
sure being put in that situation under
intense pressure creates you know
pressure in terms of explosion honestly
if I was flipping burgers and dressing
Caesar salad then I’ll be the happy chef
in the world
give me a slice of tuna for sashimi and
no heat and trust me you’ll see a
different Gordon Ramsay where you see a
very cleverly edited scenario with
45-minute cut-down version
I don’t play nearly sweet that’s nothing
to do with me all I do do is keep it
real there’s nothing poncey there’s
nothing made-up there’s no autocue
there’s no come on let’s get upset
because it looks good it’s drama
unscripted
and I can’t tell you what’s gonna happen
because even I don’t know what’s gonna
happen but what I will tell you is when
people try to undermine me lie to me lie
to the customer cut corners and then try
to you know sort of almost in an
embarrassing way and dictate to the
customer that they know better in terms
of trying to undermine their integrity
and that’s where I’m going to cut there
what does it mean to be a wholehearted
person you have actually you know a list
of ten different qualities that
wholehearted people have in common
and so cultivating authenticity letting
go of what people think that’s the first
one let’s talk about that it’s so hard I
thought doing this research I thought
going into it they’re authentic people
and inauthentic people mhm I had I did
not find any evidence of that at all
what I found is authenticity to practice
and you choose it every day sometimes
every hour of every day
and it’s a practice it’s not I just wake
up in ham authentic it’s that when you
walk into a meeting you have to make the
choice am I gonna show up and let myself
be seen am I gonna if I could raise my
hands like wow y’all look super excited
I don’t know what in the hell you’re
talking about you know that’s a choice
yes uh-huh right well and what tend to
be make that authentic choice you know
let go of the faker faker ooh I said
yeah I call it the faker group but you
know what I have found I mean I consider
myself to be an authentic person but
when I am inauthentic is when I’ve
allowed myself to be around people who
were not and then I have to fake it to
be with them it’s contagious yes so
they’re faking it yeah then and you know
you’re in that situation when you do
that haha
that kind of haha you’re laughing at
jokes that aren’t funny you’re
pretending to be comfortable when you’re
not and lose your own authenticity yeah
I do it so letting go of what people
think when I first started doing YouTube
I was terrified of making a mistake I
was terrified of what you guys would
think I was terrified of putting out an
imperfect product I was trying to
memorize lines and in my first videos
they were really they were really fake
it was a fake version of me because I
was trying to get the exact words right
everyone knows Walt Disney
movies theme parks and cast of
characters but most people don’t know is
when he first started out he had no
money he had to live in his office
because he couldn’t afford write for an
apartment and he survived on a diet of
cold beans because he couldn’t afford
food I would be sitting down I’ve been
you know looking up trying to memorize
my lines and what I realized with much
more practice was that it doesn’t matter
the exact words that I use it’s more the
feeling it’s more the genuineness and
it’s taking me a lot of time to get
through that write I’ve made 5,000
videos now and I’ve been working on it
working on and working on it
and I wish there were a lot more actual
genuine moments to yeah I wish there
were more mistakes I don’t really make a
ton of bloopers when I’m making his
videos my team was always worried about
walking through shots and I’m actually
excited I think we got one where Alex
was picking up a table and moving it out
like I’m cheering them I’m pumped up
that he’s in the shot that we made a
kind of blooper a mistake did we get
outs in there yeah nice I love it I love
it even last month when my audio didn’t
work properly you guys gave me a ton a
ton that’s probably the most negative
comment in the history of our channel
every video we put up we’ve got comments
about the echo and it mi in a cave and
people wanted to fly here to buy me a
mic and some of them were funny and some
of them were just super hate and
negative and I kept the videos up
because I make mistakes right because I
make mistakes my teammate makes mistakes
we’re still human and I wanted to use
that as look here’s a channel that has
eight hundred thousand subscribers and
we’re still making mistakes and we’re
still trying to figure things out and
that’s authentic for me and so I think
the biggest thing is one just realizing
having the awareness to understand that
you are holding yourself back because of
a fear of judgement fear of not being
yourself fear where people might think
about you most of the time we do things
that are so just subconscious and we
don’t take action on it recognizing that
here’s a moment right now where you are
afraid to do something because of how
somebody might judge you and then doing
something about it and then taking
action against it and then slowly
building up that muscle
so that the next time it happens you’re
able to expand your comfort zone a
little bit more and just being able to
recognize that in your head you have
this rationale you rationalize that you
come up with all the reasons why you
shouldn’t be doing something but really
it’s just that you’re afraid and so if
you can get to the deeper cause of I’m
just afraid that’s okay I’m gonna push
through this and expand my comfort zone
and get stronger and stronger each time
having that awareness and then doing
something about it will help you become
more authentic be authentic be authentic
many people don’t even know what that
means it means that you’re clear about
who you are it’s you’re clear about your
purpose your protocols and your plans
you’re clear about what you’re up to and
you speak your the truth of that all the
time be authentic means you’re in
integrity that what you think what you
say what you feel and what you do
all matter I know that’s hard in
Washington cuz they’re just some shoes
you can’t tell out here but we want to
do the best that we can and when you
can’t pray about it but be authentic so
many of us don’t allow people to know
who we are as I travel around this
country I mean country people all over
the country who are suffering in silence
because they’re not authentic about what
they need what they want what they’re
doing what they’re experiencing what
does it take to be a great actress
because that performance in your movie
is a really great performance I think my
any yardstick what does she have
Jennifer that takes it to that kind of
level well I think there’s a soulfulness
there’s idiot Lee there it’s it’s you
don’t you’re not it’s right there in her
eyes
her face and then her the way she talks
I don’t know how to express it except to
point to her performance I mean she has
a sorrowful ‘no sit comes from her than
and there’s that i marijuana embarrass
her or send I just think what we were
concerned she was too young for the role
and I said she almost as a timeless
quality to her which I do thrill I fir
have sometimes she seems like she’s like
it’s a luncheon seems like she’s forty
and not only that a realness there’s a
lack of preciousness there’s not a frame
around she’s doing it’s raw and it’s
real it comes from part of her soul and
and she just journals it right out there
and she’s not she’s not afraid to jump
in and do it any number of different
ways and she’ll touch his very good
instincts she’ll tell you when she feels
something was false and what you’d like
to find another way to do it but it’s a
great gift to a director to have an
actor who has so much emotion readily
valve on their face that’s authentic
emotion it’s from its from her and it’s
a part of her and I hope and I know I
just don’t know how it’s a blessing to
have someone show that you have never
seemed shackled Matt over your career by
the fear of needing to maintain some
sort of particular image you’ve always
been happy to speak out on issues that
you are concerned about or to do
whatever projects take your fancy how
have you managed to slip those chains I
just never thought that you could
micromanage an image you know I just
didn’t you know and and the things I’ve
spoken about I’ve just you know are
things that I believe and it doesn’t
mean that I’m right it just you know and
I’m happy to to learn and evolve in my
thinking and but um but if I’m saying
something it’s because it’s what I’m
genuinely feeling and and you know and
that that’s a I don’t think I’ve taken
too many hits for that
now I’ve got a very special bonus clip
with Rita Ora on being authentic that I
think you guys are gonna enjoy but
before that my question of the day is
what is the biggest challenge you have
with being authentic I would love to
hear from you please leave it down the
comments below thank you guys so much
for watching I believe in you I hope we
continue to believe in yourself and
whatever your one where it is
much love I’ll see you soon and enjoy
the bonus clip
I mean I don’t think you should do
anything forced as a new artist it’s so
there’s nothing worse than somebody not
believing what you’re doing you know if
if it’s not you to dress up and all that
then don’t do it I mean it is me I love
dressing up I’ve always loved being in
costumes and put on wigs and makeups and
kind of painting my nails all different
colors and just being crazy but if
that’s not you don’t do it huh
I wouldn’t do anything if it wasn’t me
and people will know that like the
public’s smart people think sometimes
that you know you just feed the public
what they want and they’ll just have it
but they won’t they’ll spit you right
back out if they don’t believe you and
you can’t they won’t care if that’s who
you really are so I would have to just
say you have to just really be you and
embrace those little bits that make you
you and times them by 10 like I know for
example your heads dark and you’re
saying your dog hair like go load like
you know beat your mic with it and in
embrace I don’t know the fact that you
put I take monkeys I mean who I love the
mother oh the fact you got romance
bromance Oh romance you know there’s
things that make everybody individual
that’s what you have to just think about
in your head and then say this is what I
am so I’m gonna just times this by 10 15
thousand because that’s me raise your
standard Apple at the core it’s core
value is that that people with passion
and love one drop of most self-worth
depends on your it’s supposed to mean I
don’t ever give up I’d have to be
dead or completely incapacitated hey
believe nation if you want to see my
all-time favorite top ten roaster
success I have a very special secret
video for you these are the individual
clips that I have personally learned the
most from and applied to my life and my
business check the link in description
for details
be authentic
what’s that believe nation it’s Evan my
one word is believe and I believe in you
I believe you have an amazing gift
inside you that I want to see exploded
onto the world now I started the one
rule series because I consume a ton of
content from all the top tens from other
people that I profile and some of the
rules keep coming up over and over and
over again and so the one rule series
smush it together
the most common rules that keep coming
up into one video for you so today we’re
gonna learn how to be authentic enjoy I
[Music]
think that success is a process and I
believe that my first Easter speech and
the Kosciusko Baptist Church at the age
of three and a half was was the
beginning and that every other speech
every other book I read every other time
I spoke in public was was a building
block so that by the time I first sat
down to audition in front of a
television camera and somebody says read
this what allows me to read it so
comfortably and be so at ease with
myself at that time was the fact that
I’d been doing in a while if I’d never
read a book like never spoken in public
before I would have been traumatized by
it so the fact that we went on the air
with The Oprah Winfrey Show in 1986
nationally and people say oh but you’re
so comfortable in from the camera you
can be yourself well it’s because I’ve
been being myself since I was 19 and I
would not have I would not have been
able to be as comfortable with myself
had I not made mistakes on the air and
been allowed to make mistakes on the air
and understand that it doesn’t matter
you know I there’s no such thing to me
as an embarrassing moment no such thing
if I tripped and fell if my bra strap
showed if my slip fell off if I fell
flat on my face there’s no such thing as
an embarrassing moment because I know
that there is not a moment that I could
possibly experience on the
err that somebody else hasn’t already
experienced so when it happens you say
oh my slip fell off and it’s it’s no big
deal I mean like I was on TV the other
day and somebody says oh where you have
a run have you not seen a run before in
your life well I get them to let me tell
you so I mean yeah I can’t be
embarrassed I can’t be embarrassed now
when I first started out that was not
true because I was under think I was
pretending to be somebody I was not I
was pretending to be Barbara Walters so
I’d go to a news conference and I was
more interested in how I phrased the
question and how eloquent the question
sounded as opposed to listening to the
answer I saw well which always happens
when you’re interested in in impressing
people instead of doing what you’re
supposed to be doing and it took me a
while it took me messing up on the air
on during a live newscast I was doing a
list of foreign countries and I there
was all these foreign names and then
Canada was thrown in and I call Canada
Canada and I got so tickled that I
called Ken I got that wasn’t come on now
that was Canada excuse me
that wasn’t kind of that was that wasn’t
Kannada that was Canada and then I
started laughing well it was it was it
became a mutt became the first real
moment I ever had and the news director
later said to me well if you do that
then you should just keep going you
shouldn’t correct yourself and let
people know I know well who’s ever heard
are kind of odd ah so that was for me
the beginning of realizing that oh you
can laugh at yourself and you can make a
mistake and it’s not the end of the
world you don’t have to be perfect and
biggest lesson for me for television
because then it didn’t matter didn’t
matter oh sorry bra strap showing adopt
the mode of authentic being and that is
something like refusing to participate
in the lie in deception in the lie to
orient your speech as much as you can
towards the truth and to take
responsibility for your own life and
perhaps also for the lives of other
people
and there’s something about that that’s
meaningful and responsible and Noble but
also serves to mitigate the very
suffering that produces say the nihilism
or the flee into the
arms of fleet are lower or the or the
escape into the arms of totalitarians to
begin with you need something to shelter
you against your own vulnerability every
decision we make in our lives as
individuals or as organizations is a
piece of communication it’s our way of
saying something about who we are and
what we believe this is why authenticity
matters this is why you have to say and
do the things you actually believe
because the things you say and do are
symbols of who you are and we look for
those symbols so we can find people who
believe what we believe our very
survival depends on it so if you’re
putting out false symbols you will
attract people to those symbols but you
won’t be able to form trust with them
this is what Tiger Woods did to us he
lied he lied he told us what he thought
we wanted to hear and it was great and
we were drawn to it and all of us who
kind of liked that idea of the sort of
the good guy were drawn to it until we
found out it was a lie he could have
been the bad boy of golf he could have
had all the same endorsements and had a
fantastic career and still been hailed
as one of the great athletes of our day
but he didn’t he chose to lie good luck
forming trust again tiger we don’t
believe you we don’t trust you the goal
of putting something out there if you
say what you believe and you do what you
believe you will attract people who
believe what you believe if you go to
one of your friends and you say to one
of your friends how would you like me to
dress so that you’ll like me better how
do you want me to address you how do you
want me to speak so that you’ll like me
more right your friends are gonna look
at you be like what are you talking
about yeah come on come on come on what
should I wear so that you’ll find me
more appealing and how would you like me
to speak to you so that you’ll like me
more and your friends are gonna tell you
just be yourself that’s why I like you I
don’t just be yourself now think about
what we do in industry what do we do we
do market research and we go out and we
ask the customers what kind of things
the way what style should we speak to
you how should we decorate ourselves
what kind of things are you drawn to
so that we can do those things do you
like us more it’s just as ridiculous
it’s just as ridiculous organizations
should say and do the things they
actually believe and they will attract
people who believe what they believe or
they can choose to lie and at the
slightest hint that they might be lying
cynicism sets in and people start saying
I’m not sure I can trust these guys
because there’s not a lot of consistency
and all the things they say and do which
means they can’t have a very strong
belief set or they’re lying to me and we
call them into authentic the entire
process of asking other people who we
should be is inauthentic that’s
hilarious to me all these positioning
studies we do are inherent
we’re gonna do a study to find out from
people so we can be more authentic
that’s hilarious
say and do what you actually believe in
the symbols you put out there the things
you say and the things you do those red
hats are ways that people can find you
what you have the ability to do as
designers is create those symbols and
allow people to use those things to say
something about who they are work for
companies work for clients work for
people who you believe what they believe
show up and feel a part of something
bigger than yourself and your part is to
put what they believe into pictures and
words and symbols and graphics so that
other people can use those things to say
something about who they are people put
harley-davidson logos on their body to
say something about who they are
corporate logo ain’t no Procter &
Gamble’s tattooed on anybody’s on
because Harley means something they
stand for something people put that
tattoo on there not to tell you that
they own a motorcycle they put that
tattoo there to tell you something about
themselves you ever see anybody with a
with a Mac laptop put a sticker over
that beautiful shining Apple ain’t never
gonna happen then how will you know who
I am do you ever see anybody with a PC
break out the Windex to clean out their
computer Mac people
have you ever seen a dirty Mac doesn’t
exist does not exist why because it’s
Who I am
these are symbols we use the companies
that are crystal clear and what they
believe and their discipline and how
they do it they’re consistent of what
they do and everything they say and
everything they do serves as a symbol of
the set of values and beliefs we use
those symbols to say something about who
we are we surround ourselves with the
people and the products and the brands
that say something about who we are and
when we can find the people who believe
what we believe
we’re weirdly drawn to them because our
very survival depends on it
we need it and so the more you can give
of yourself the more you can give of
what you believe the more you can
discipline with discipline saying boo
and do the things you actually believe
strange things start to happen next I’ve
always felt a deep sense of obligation
to make the biggest impact possible with
this incredible platform so I took on
issues that were personal to me issues
like helping families raise healthier
kids honoring the incredible military
family that I’ve met out on the campaign
trail inspiring our young people to
value their education and finish college
now some folks criticize my choices for
not being bold enough but these were my
choices my issues and I decided to
tackle them in a way that felt most
authentic to me in a way that was both
substantive and strategic but also fun
and hopefully inspiring so I immersed
myself in the policy details I worked
with Congress on legislation against
speeches to CEOs military generals
Hollywood executives but I also worked
to ensure that my efforts would resonate
with kids and families and that meant
doing things in a creative and
unconventional way so yeah I planted a
garden and hula hooped on the White
House lawn with kids I did some mom
dancing on TV
I celebrated military kids with Kermit
the Frog
I asked folks across the country to wear
their alma mater t-shirts for college
signing day and at the end of the day by
staying true to the me I’ve always known
I found that this journey has been
incredibly freeing because no matter
what happened I had the peace of mind of
knowing that all of the chatter the
name-calling the doubting all of it was
just noise it did not define me it
didn’t change who I was and most
importantly it couldn’t hold me back I
have learned that as long as I hold fast
to my beliefs and values and follow my
own moral compass then the only
expectations I need to leave live up to
are my own but you do have this ruthless
way of approaching your character your
you who you are on Kitchen Nightmares
Hell’s Kitchen you have high standards
professionally but it must be said on TV
at least you do you attack kitchen staff
on their gender their parents their
intelligence it seems like you’re bigger
than life in your reality your TV
persona is that for an American audience
is that for for is that a character
you’re playing first of all I don’t
attack any form of gender that’s for
sure being put in that situation under
intense pressure creates you know
pressure in terms of explosion honestly
if I was flipping burgers and dressing
Caesar salad then I’ll be the happy chef
in the world
give me a slice of tuna for sashimi and
no heat and trust me you’ll see a
different Gordon Ramsay where you see a
very cleverly edited scenario with
45-minute cut-down version
I don’t play nearly sweet that’s nothing
to do with me all I do do is keep it
real there’s nothing poncey there’s
nothing made-up there’s no autocue
there’s no come on let’s get upset
because it looks good it’s drama
unscripted
and I can’t tell you what’s gonna happen
because even I don’t know what’s gonna
happen but what I will tell you is when
people try to undermine me lie to me lie
to the customer cut corners and then try
to you know sort of almost in an
embarrassing way and dictate to the
customer that they know better in terms
of trying to undermine their integrity
and that’s where I’m going to cut there
what does it mean to be a wholehearted
person you have actually you know a list
of ten different qualities that
wholehearted people have in common
and so cultivating authenticity letting
go of what people think that’s the first
one let’s talk about that it’s so hard I
thought doing this research I thought
going into it they’re authentic people
and inauthentic people mhm I had I did
not find any evidence of that at all
what I found is authenticity to practice
and you choose it every day sometimes
every hour of every day
and it’s a practice it’s not I just wake
up in ham authentic it’s that when you
walk into a meeting you have to make the
choice am I gonna show up and let myself
be seen am I gonna if I could raise my
hands like wow y’all look super excited
I don’t know what in the hell you’re
talking about you know that’s a choice
yes uh-huh right well and what tend to
be make that authentic choice you know
let go of the faker faker ooh I said
yeah I call it the faker group but you
know what I have found I mean I consider
myself to be an authentic person but
when I am inauthentic is when I’ve
allowed myself to be around people who
were not and then I have to fake it to
be with them it’s contagious yes so
they’re faking it yeah then and you know
you’re in that situation when you do
that haha
that kind of haha you’re laughing at
jokes that aren’t funny you’re
pretending to be comfortable when you’re
not and lose your own authenticity yeah
I do it so letting go of what people
think when I first started doing YouTube
I was terrified of making a mistake I
was terrified of what you guys would
think I was terrified of putting out an
imperfect product I was trying to
memorize lines and in my first videos
they were really they were really fake
it was a fake version of me because I
was trying to get the exact words right
everyone knows Walt Disney
movies theme parks and cast of
characters but most people don’t know is
when he first started out he had no
money he had to live in his office
because he couldn’t afford write for an
apartment and he survived on a diet of
cold beans because he couldn’t afford
food I would be sitting down I’ve been
you know looking up trying to memorize
my lines and what I realized with much
more practice was that it doesn’t matter
the exact words that I use it’s more the
feeling it’s more the genuineness and
it’s taking me a lot of time to get
through that write I’ve made 5,000
videos now and I’ve been working on it
working on and working on it
and I wish there were a lot more actual
genuine moments to yeah I wish there
were more mistakes I don’t really make a
ton of bloopers when I’m making his
videos my team was always worried about
walking through shots and I’m actually
excited I think we got one where Alex
was picking up a table and moving it out
like I’m cheering them I’m pumped up
that he’s in the shot that we made a
kind of blooper a mistake did we get
outs in there yeah nice I love it I love
it even last month when my audio didn’t
work properly you guys gave me a ton a
ton that’s probably the most negative
comment in the history of our channel
every video we put up we’ve got comments
about the echo and it mi in a cave and
people wanted to fly here to buy me a
mic and some of them were funny and some
of them were just super hate and
negative and I kept the videos up
because I make mistakes right because I
make mistakes my teammate makes mistakes
we’re still human and I wanted to use
that as look here’s a channel that has
eight hundred thousand subscribers and
we’re still making mistakes and we’re
still trying to figure things out and
that’s authentic for me and so I think
the biggest thing is one just realizing
having the awareness to understand that
you are holding yourself back because of
a fear of judgement fear of not being
yourself fear where people might think
about you most of the time we do things
that are so just subconscious and we
don’t take action on it recognizing that
here’s a moment right now where you are
afraid to do something because of how
somebody might judge you and then doing
something about it and then taking
action against it and then slowly
building up that muscle
so that the next time it happens you’re
able to expand your comfort zone a
little bit more and just being able to
recognize that in your head you have
this rationale you rationalize that you
come up with all the reasons why you
shouldn’t be doing something but really
it’s just that you’re afraid and so if
you can get to the deeper cause of I’m
just afraid that’s okay I’m gonna push
through this and expand my comfort zone
and get stronger and stronger each time
having that awareness and then doing
something about it will help you become
more authentic be authentic be authentic
many people don’t even know what that
means it means that you’re clear about
who you are it’s you’re clear about your
purpose your protocols and your plans
you’re clear about what you’re up to and
you speak your the truth of that all the
time be authentic means you’re in
integrity that what you think what you
say what you feel and what you do
all matter I know that’s hard in
Washington cuz they’re just some shoes
you can’t tell out here but we want to
do the best that we can and when you
can’t pray about it but be authentic so
many of us don’t allow people to know
who we are as I travel around this
country I mean country people all over
the country who are suffering in silence
because they’re not authentic about what
they need what they want what they’re
doing what they’re experiencing what
does it take to be a great actress
because that performance in your movie
is a really great performance I think my
any yardstick what does she have
Jennifer that takes it to that kind of
level well I think there’s a soulfulness
there’s idiot Lee there it’s it’s you
don’t you’re not it’s right there in her
eyes
her face and then her the way she talks
I don’t know how to express it except to
point to her performance I mean she has
a sorrowful ‘no sit comes from her than
and there’s that i marijuana embarrass
her or send I just think what we were
concerned she was too young for the role
and I said she almost as a timeless
quality to her which I do thrill I fir
have sometimes she seems like she’s like
it’s a luncheon seems like she’s forty
and not only that a realness there’s a
lack of preciousness there’s not a frame
around she’s doing it’s raw and it’s
real it comes from part of her soul and
and she just journals it right out there
and she’s not she’s not afraid to jump
in and do it any number of different
ways and she’ll touch his very good
instincts she’ll tell you when she feels
something was false and what you’d like
to find another way to do it but it’s a
great gift to a director to have an
actor who has so much emotion readily
valve on their face that’s authentic
emotion it’s from its from her and it’s
a part of her and I hope and I know I
just don’t know how it’s a blessing to
have someone show that you have never
seemed shackled Matt over your career by
the fear of needing to maintain some
sort of particular image you’ve always
been happy to speak out on issues that
you are concerned about or to do
whatever projects take your fancy how
have you managed to slip those chains I
just never thought that you could
micromanage an image you know I just
didn’t you know and and the things I’ve
spoken about I’ve just you know are
things that I believe and it doesn’t
mean that I’m right it just you know and
I’m happy to to learn and evolve in my
thinking and but um but if I’m saying
something it’s because it’s what I’m
genuinely feeling and and you know and
that that’s a I don’t think I’ve taken
too many hits for that
now I’ve got a very special bonus clip
with Rita Ora on being authentic that I
think you guys are gonna enjoy but
before that my question of the day is
what is the biggest challenge you have
with being authentic I would love to
hear from you please leave it down the
comments below thank you guys so much
for watching I believe in you I hope we
continue to believe in yourself and
whatever your one where it is
much love I’ll see you soon and enjoy
the bonus clip
I mean I don’t think you should do
anything forced as a new artist it’s so
there’s nothing worse than somebody not
believing what you’re doing you know if
if it’s not you to dress up and all that
then don’t do it I mean it is me I love
dressing up I’ve always loved being in
costumes and put on wigs and makeups and
kind of painting my nails all different
colors and just being crazy but if
that’s not you don’t do it huh
I wouldn’t do anything if it wasn’t me
and people will know that like the
public’s smart people think sometimes
that you know you just feed the public
what they want and they’ll just have it
but they won’t they’ll spit you right
back out if they don’t believe you and
you can’t they won’t care if that’s who
you really are so I would have to just
say you have to just really be you and
embrace those little bits that make you
you and times them by 10 like I know for
example your heads dark and you’re
saying your dog hair like go load like
you know beat your mic with it and in
embrace I don’t know the fact that you
put I take monkeys I mean who I love the
mother oh the fact you got romance
bromance Oh romance you know there’s
things that make everybody individual
that’s what you have to just think about
in your head and then say this is what I
am so I’m gonna just times this by 10 15
thousand because that’s me raise your
standard Apple at the core it’s core
value is that that people with passion
and love one drop of most self-worth
depends on your it’s supposed to mean I
don’t ever give up I’d have to be
dead or completely incapacitated hey
believe nation if you want to see my
all-time favorite top ten roaster
success I have a very special secret
video for you these are the individual
clips that I have personally learned the
most from and applied to my life and my
business check the link in description
for details
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