need motivation top 10 will believe
nation what’s that believe nation it 7 I
believe in you and this channel is
designed to be a part of your daily
success routine so let’s get your
motivation to attend and get you
believing in you grab a snack and chew
in today’s lessons from a man who went
from living with his alcoholic father in
near poverty to becoming one of the most
successful TV talk show hosts and one of
the highest paid celebrities in the
world
he’s dr. Phil and here’s my take on his
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one find out who you are you’ve got to
find out who you are I mean when you
when you hear dr. Phil you may love me
you may hate me you may think I’m a
barbarian or the second coming of common
sense but you won’t confuse me with
anybody else right right
you’ve got you’ve got to have that or
you don’t know who you’re presenting to
the world and you said something if that
before you were dr. Phil you actually
had that when you were dr. McGraw when I
met you yeah because we met we my any
different than the day we met not a bit
I don’t think so
so by defined image you don’t mean by
making it up you know finding a way to
use your authentic self and let that
authentic self define you but exactly
and to do that you have to decide who
that is you got to at least figure out
what is it about me that makes me
different than everybody else
unique okay what is it that makes you
unique there’s got to be something makes
you unique
rule number two take control until you
realize there’s only one person in this
life that you control others you can
inspire others you can coach other you
can coax but the only one you control is
you I look at it this way it’s like I’m
a life coach and I got one client me
yeah and until I hold my feet to the
fire and say if I don’t if I don’t have
the quality of emotional connection in
my marriage the only person I control is
me I got to look at me for that if I
don’t have the connection to God that I
want to have that’s not God’s problem
that’s my problem
yeah until I own that then I’m not it’s
like me waiting for you to give me my
car keys and you don’t have them we can
sit here all day you don’t have them you
can’t give them to me I’ve got it
I got until I get them from me I just
might as well sit on a rock and stare at
the Sun because I can’t get him for
anybody with me rule number three
deliver
value I’m really proud to have a good
platform because you get an opportunity
to talk to a lot of people and my
strategy is to just deliver common-sense
usable information every day to people’s
homes for free
uh-huh and really it’s not it’s not easy
to find that information you know if
you’re looking for help you go to the
phone book there’s just a bunch of names
listed you don’t know who’s it’s like
they say what do they call the guy that
graduates last in their class at Medical
School well doctor you know you don’t
know if it’s a good person bad person if
he or she is the right kind of therapist
or not so at least it gives us common
sensible information that they can use
get ready to kick off season 17 what do
you think that’s amazing I think you
should be excited about it and it’s a
testament to your work and the need the
demand that you create through the
information you give people to help them
improve the quality of their lives well
we’re really proud of it we’re just
we’re just getting ready to kick off on
Monday
okay the 10th and 17 seasons and I’m
like people ask me if it seems like that
it really doesn’t it seems like we
started like a couple of weeks ago I
mean just flashes by you know rule
number four be a star of your own life
explain to us what you mean by being the
star in your own life what does that
mean what I mean is that you in your
mind stand tall in your life you and
your mind make a difference you and your
mind do things that impact other people
that fill you up mentally emotionally
spiritually physically if you don’t have
something you’re passionate about where
you wake up every day and it’s like man
that lights you up I got to get to it I
got to get to it like maybe you go to
work so you can get to your passion yeah
or whatever but there’s something that
you form a point every day yeah that
what a what a terrible way to go through
life if what oh yeah I just I was just
thinking the most important question one
of the things I think most important
question I thought you asked in this
book that it’s so hard for most people
to answer is what do you really want
yeah it you know people answer that so
superficially in the beginning yeah they
all say I want to be happy yeah yeah
where they say I want a new car yeah you
know and so but why do you want the new
car who wants to be who wants to be
happy we all want to be happy right yeah
so that’s not that doesn’t distinguish
you from the person next to you yeah you
you raised your hand in the pink sweater
when you said you’re not starring in
your own life what’s your name I need it
so why are you not starring in your own
life what’s keeping you from it I really
don’t know I just I don’t know I would
say you see if I’ve said that this is
what you would’ve said well who should
we ask when I talked to her she she had
started a new job and she just feels
bored and doesn’t feel like she is going
there to accomplish anything and then
you know kind of goes home and puts the
grandkids in front of her and of that so
I just feel like she’s not feeling
fulfilled in that in that way okay can I
jump in here just real quick cuz I know
we gotta move okay no but listen I want
to tell you how to star in your own life
today you have a job that doesn’t light
you up right yeah you’re going through
the motions it doesn’t fulfill you
so should you just quit your job no
we’re at an economy you need a job right
yeah so you don’t just say oh I was
supposed to start my own life so I’ll go
be a star you have to you have to
understand that if you’re in a job you
don’t like that you have no passion for
then your part-time job should be
getting a job to replace the job you
don’t want and that’s how you begin to
star in your own life you say I’m the
star I get to do some things I want to
do I put me on the top of the priority
list I stop pushing me down to the
bottom of the list and I take care of
myself so I can take care of others like
my daughter you’re no good to her if
you’re emotionally bankrupt you’re no
good to your grandchildren if you’re
gone when they get to an age that you
could really be resonating with them not
that you aren’t now but I mean you’ve
got to be around to the longer take care
of yourself start saying I will no
longer settle for a job I don’t want my
priority is to find the job to replay
don’t quit that would be irresponsible
but start finding something that lights
you up maybe it’s not a job maybe it’s
what you do after work but find
something don’t accept nothing rule
number five make the change and you talk
about you know what you want okay how do
you get past all the voices in your head
that tell you everything else that you
don’t want you shouldn’t want you
shouldn’t have or and get into the root
core of actually what you want
well again everything you said telling
yourself things that that aren’t right
or whatever you’ve got to ask yourself
is this a true fact is this a true fact
I can’t because of what I’ve been told I
can’t do what I need to with my art I
can’t make a living at is that true you
don’t know that you cannot accept that
as true and valid and so what do you do
with that you evaluate it and say is
that true and the answer is no or I
don’t know so you can’t accept that you
can teach art you can do it can become
an avocation or a vocation there are so
many ways that you can express your
artistic talents and and light yourself
up it comes back to the question how’s
it working for you is it making you
happy is it getting is it doing the
things that you want with your life the
answer is no it fails on that test and
you have to ask yourself does this
protect and prolong my life we tell you
doing what you don’t want in this world
will where you smooth out what about
when you come to all the excuses what’s
happened is you’ve gotten comfortable
sitting on the sidelines and watching
your life go by it’s easier not to make
the change you’ve gotten lazy and you’ve
gotten in your comfort zone and you have
to require more of yourself
and you start by challenging everything
you’re telling yourself you have checked
out of your life have an action plan
rule number six forgive how important is
forgiveness in the healing of the human
condition I think it’s at the core and I
think it’s one of the most misunderstood
it’s misunderstood because people think
it’s this wave that washes over you and
it’s not it’s a choice you choose to
forgive and secondly it doesn’t mean
that you forget and it doesn’t mean that
you say what they did was okay it just
means that you choose to forgive them
for what they did to you real or
perceived and I forgiving people in my
life that have no idea they transgressed
against me because I just did not want
to spend life energy with bitterness and
hatred towards them because it changes
who I am as a husband and a father and a
friend and a person you it’s like the
smell of a skunk it’s so pervasive it
goes into every aspect of your life you
think oh I only hate this person I’m
only mad at this person here I’m only
bitter towards this person here that’s
not true that’s such a pervasive emotion
it colors everything rule number seven
examined your thinking you’ve got to
start examining your thinking and your
values and your beliefs and number one
is what I’m telling myself a true fact I
mean is it a true fact and that sounds
real simple but think about that if we
were coming and saying you’re a thief
and he’s well wait am i no better than
that I know factually that’s not true
but if you’re saying to yourself or
somebody saying to you now you’re kind
of boring or you’re kind of worthless
that’s subjective and so we start buying
stuff that there’s no factual basis for
so number one is it a true fact number
two to pass the litmus test does it
serve your best interest I mean does it
serve your best interest what’s good for
you is good for those you love and care
about I mean if you’re a mom and you say
well I’m you’re talking about taking
care of me you better take care of your
children’s mother because it’s the only
one they’ve got so you I mean does it
serve your best interest number three
does it advance and protect your health
huge wake-up call for me when I went
through this process myself and started
holding myself to these standards about
so much that I was thinking doing it
wasn’t protecting it and prolonging my
health because it’s putting so much
stress in my life but thinking I could
do everything for everybody and then for
does it get you what you want
does it get you what you want and you
know Carmen you go back and think about
the things that you’re saying to
yourself I was special I was smart now I
don’t feel like I really have a lot to
offer well stop I don’t feel like I have
a lot to offer is that a true fact did
you get dumb at the board that day no
does that is it in your best interest no
does it protect and prolong your life
it’s wasting your life you’re burning
daylight and it doesn’t get you what you
want absolutely use you fail on all four
points on just that one statement so you
have to start saying I need to start
testing my thinking because you know we
trick ourselves we think we’ll tell
ourselves the truth because it’s us
right that’s not true you you feed
yourself so much bad thinking rule
number eight become essential if you
don’t think you’re essential in your own
life if you’re if everything in your
life everybody you know everything that
you’re involved in every task that you
undertake every job career whatever it
is if it could all sail on and make no
difference whether you were there or not
then you are not essential you have got
to be essential you get in these days of
like downsizing at work yeah
when they come around thinning the herd
you don’t want to be a face in the crowd
you don’t want to be worse like I’ll
just get rid of these 50 over here oh
but not her wait a minute she’s the one
that knows how to get the copier working
when it doesn’t work she’s the one that
this client relies on for one of our
really big relationships she’s the one
this and that get rid of those 49 but do
not get rid of her she is essential and
think about your essential in your
children’s lives you’re the only mother
they’ll ever have that’s essential right
hey rule number nine find fulfillment
most people if they’re not really
fulfilled if they’re not satisfied if
they don’t have that
tired at the end of the day where they
go man yeah there’s a good day it’s
because they haven’t figured out what
their passion is what their currency is
and they’re not working on that if you
aren’t doing something you’re passionate
about you need to stop what you’re doing
and find out what that is and do that
because this is not a dress rehearsal
man I mean this is finite rule number
ten the very last one before the very
special bonus clip is dance this one
would teach you man we teach you all
feel good
I was just show you wanted silly I’m
going to show you one just one move is
very simple all I want you to do this is
this is the standard move anybody can do
this right here
nothing
now these give me over but we still
sweep up yeah
picking these up a little bit picking
these up filling pick your knees up
now I’ve got a bonus dr. Phil clip on
how to get in healthy relationship that
I think you’re gonna enjoy but before
that is time for the three-point landing
questions time to move from just
watching another video to actually
taking action in your life or your
business and if you’re feeling bold
respond with your answers in the
comments below
here we go question number one how can
you be essential to your clients number
two what change do you need to make
right now in your life or your business
and number three what does fulfillment
I think it’s really important in any
relationship that you ask yourself this
question what is my cost or being in
this relationship because there’s a cost
in every relationship you’re in there’s
a cost and you have to ask yourself what
is the cost of being in there if the
cost is you have to lose yourself you
can’t be who you are do what you do you
can’t be the person you are because you
must conform to them in order to coexist
peacefully the cost is you if the cost
is you have to work at it that’s okay
the cost is you have to make some
sacrifices that’s okay but ask yourself
in every relationship you’re in what’s
the cost for being in this relationship
and you’ll see real quick
whether it’s worth the price or whether
it’s not if you have to think of one
word that’s most important to you or
that sums you Apple so it would be like
a little beacon
if you want to learn from dr. Phil’s
mentor Oprah Winfrey check out her top
ten rules video the link is right there
next to me I think you’ll enjoy it
continue to believe and I’ll see you
there being able to live out the truest highest expression of ourselves
nation what’s that believe nation it 7 I
believe in you and this channel is
designed to be a part of your daily
success routine so let’s get your
motivation to attend and get you
believing in you grab a snack and chew
in today’s lessons from a man who went
from living with his alcoholic father in
near poverty to becoming one of the most
successful TV talk show hosts and one of
the highest paid celebrities in the
world
he’s dr. Phil and here’s my take on his
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one find out who you are you’ve got to
find out who you are I mean when you
when you hear dr. Phil you may love me
you may hate me you may think I’m a
barbarian or the second coming of common
sense but you won’t confuse me with
anybody else right right
you’ve got you’ve got to have that or
you don’t know who you’re presenting to
the world and you said something if that
before you were dr. Phil you actually
had that when you were dr. McGraw when I
met you yeah because we met we my any
different than the day we met not a bit
I don’t think so
so by defined image you don’t mean by
making it up you know finding a way to
use your authentic self and let that
authentic self define you but exactly
and to do that you have to decide who
that is you got to at least figure out
what is it about me that makes me
different than everybody else
unique okay what is it that makes you
unique there’s got to be something makes
you unique
rule number two take control until you
realize there’s only one person in this
life that you control others you can
inspire others you can coach other you
can coax but the only one you control is
you I look at it this way it’s like I’m
a life coach and I got one client me
yeah and until I hold my feet to the
fire and say if I don’t if I don’t have
the quality of emotional connection in
my marriage the only person I control is
me I got to look at me for that if I
don’t have the connection to God that I
want to have that’s not God’s problem
that’s my problem
yeah until I own that then I’m not it’s
like me waiting for you to give me my
car keys and you don’t have them we can
sit here all day you don’t have them you
can’t give them to me I’ve got it
I got until I get them from me I just
might as well sit on a rock and stare at
the Sun because I can’t get him for
anybody with me rule number three
deliver
value I’m really proud to have a good
platform because you get an opportunity
to talk to a lot of people and my
strategy is to just deliver common-sense
usable information every day to people’s
homes for free
uh-huh and really it’s not it’s not easy
to find that information you know if
you’re looking for help you go to the
phone book there’s just a bunch of names
listed you don’t know who’s it’s like
they say what do they call the guy that
graduates last in their class at Medical
School well doctor you know you don’t
know if it’s a good person bad person if
he or she is the right kind of therapist
or not so at least it gives us common
sensible information that they can use
get ready to kick off season 17 what do
you think that’s amazing I think you
should be excited about it and it’s a
testament to your work and the need the
demand that you create through the
information you give people to help them
improve the quality of their lives well
we’re really proud of it we’re just
we’re just getting ready to kick off on
Monday
okay the 10th and 17 seasons and I’m
like people ask me if it seems like that
it really doesn’t it seems like we
started like a couple of weeks ago I
mean just flashes by you know rule
number four be a star of your own life
explain to us what you mean by being the
star in your own life what does that
mean what I mean is that you in your
mind stand tall in your life you and
your mind make a difference you and your
mind do things that impact other people
that fill you up mentally emotionally
spiritually physically if you don’t have
something you’re passionate about where
you wake up every day and it’s like man
that lights you up I got to get to it I
got to get to it like maybe you go to
work so you can get to your passion yeah
or whatever but there’s something that
you form a point every day yeah that
what a what a terrible way to go through
life if what oh yeah I just I was just
thinking the most important question one
of the things I think most important
question I thought you asked in this
book that it’s so hard for most people
to answer is what do you really want
yeah it you know people answer that so
superficially in the beginning yeah they
all say I want to be happy yeah yeah
where they say I want a new car yeah you
know and so but why do you want the new
car who wants to be who wants to be
happy we all want to be happy right yeah
so that’s not that doesn’t distinguish
you from the person next to you yeah you
you raised your hand in the pink sweater
when you said you’re not starring in
your own life what’s your name I need it
so why are you not starring in your own
life what’s keeping you from it I really
don’t know I just I don’t know I would
say you see if I’ve said that this is
what you would’ve said well who should
we ask when I talked to her she she had
started a new job and she just feels
bored and doesn’t feel like she is going
there to accomplish anything and then
you know kind of goes home and puts the
grandkids in front of her and of that so
I just feel like she’s not feeling
fulfilled in that in that way okay can I
jump in here just real quick cuz I know
we gotta move okay no but listen I want
to tell you how to star in your own life
today you have a job that doesn’t light
you up right yeah you’re going through
the motions it doesn’t fulfill you
so should you just quit your job no
we’re at an economy you need a job right
yeah so you don’t just say oh I was
supposed to start my own life so I’ll go
be a star you have to you have to
understand that if you’re in a job you
don’t like that you have no passion for
then your part-time job should be
getting a job to replace the job you
don’t want and that’s how you begin to
star in your own life you say I’m the
star I get to do some things I want to
do I put me on the top of the priority
list I stop pushing me down to the
bottom of the list and I take care of
myself so I can take care of others like
my daughter you’re no good to her if
you’re emotionally bankrupt you’re no
good to your grandchildren if you’re
gone when they get to an age that you
could really be resonating with them not
that you aren’t now but I mean you’ve
got to be around to the longer take care
of yourself start saying I will no
longer settle for a job I don’t want my
priority is to find the job to replay
don’t quit that would be irresponsible
but start finding something that lights
you up maybe it’s not a job maybe it’s
what you do after work but find
something don’t accept nothing rule
number five make the change and you talk
about you know what you want okay how do
you get past all the voices in your head
that tell you everything else that you
don’t want you shouldn’t want you
shouldn’t have or and get into the root
core of actually what you want
well again everything you said telling
yourself things that that aren’t right
or whatever you’ve got to ask yourself
is this a true fact is this a true fact
I can’t because of what I’ve been told I
can’t do what I need to with my art I
can’t make a living at is that true you
don’t know that you cannot accept that
as true and valid and so what do you do
with that you evaluate it and say is
that true and the answer is no or I
don’t know so you can’t accept that you
can teach art you can do it can become
an avocation or a vocation there are so
many ways that you can express your
artistic talents and and light yourself
up it comes back to the question how’s
it working for you is it making you
happy is it getting is it doing the
things that you want with your life the
answer is no it fails on that test and
you have to ask yourself does this
protect and prolong my life we tell you
doing what you don’t want in this world
will where you smooth out what about
when you come to all the excuses what’s
happened is you’ve gotten comfortable
sitting on the sidelines and watching
your life go by it’s easier not to make
the change you’ve gotten lazy and you’ve
gotten in your comfort zone and you have
to require more of yourself
and you start by challenging everything
you’re telling yourself you have checked
out of your life have an action plan
rule number six forgive how important is
forgiveness in the healing of the human
condition I think it’s at the core and I
think it’s one of the most misunderstood
it’s misunderstood because people think
it’s this wave that washes over you and
it’s not it’s a choice you choose to
forgive and secondly it doesn’t mean
that you forget and it doesn’t mean that
you say what they did was okay it just
means that you choose to forgive them
for what they did to you real or
perceived and I forgiving people in my
life that have no idea they transgressed
against me because I just did not want
to spend life energy with bitterness and
hatred towards them because it changes
who I am as a husband and a father and a
friend and a person you it’s like the
smell of a skunk it’s so pervasive it
goes into every aspect of your life you
think oh I only hate this person I’m
only mad at this person here I’m only
bitter towards this person here that’s
not true that’s such a pervasive emotion
it colors everything rule number seven
examined your thinking you’ve got to
start examining your thinking and your
values and your beliefs and number one
is what I’m telling myself a true fact I
mean is it a true fact and that sounds
real simple but think about that if we
were coming and saying you’re a thief
and he’s well wait am i no better than
that I know factually that’s not true
but if you’re saying to yourself or
somebody saying to you now you’re kind
of boring or you’re kind of worthless
that’s subjective and so we start buying
stuff that there’s no factual basis for
so number one is it a true fact number
two to pass the litmus test does it
serve your best interest I mean does it
serve your best interest what’s good for
you is good for those you love and care
about I mean if you’re a mom and you say
well I’m you’re talking about taking
care of me you better take care of your
children’s mother because it’s the only
one they’ve got so you I mean does it
serve your best interest number three
does it advance and protect your health
huge wake-up call for me when I went
through this process myself and started
holding myself to these standards about
so much that I was thinking doing it
wasn’t protecting it and prolonging my
health because it’s putting so much
stress in my life but thinking I could
do everything for everybody and then for
does it get you what you want
does it get you what you want and you
know Carmen you go back and think about
the things that you’re saying to
yourself I was special I was smart now I
don’t feel like I really have a lot to
offer well stop I don’t feel like I have
a lot to offer is that a true fact did
you get dumb at the board that day no
does that is it in your best interest no
does it protect and prolong your life
it’s wasting your life you’re burning
daylight and it doesn’t get you what you
want absolutely use you fail on all four
points on just that one statement so you
have to start saying I need to start
testing my thinking because you know we
trick ourselves we think we’ll tell
ourselves the truth because it’s us
right that’s not true you you feed
yourself so much bad thinking rule
number eight become essential if you
don’t think you’re essential in your own
life if you’re if everything in your
life everybody you know everything that
you’re involved in every task that you
undertake every job career whatever it
is if it could all sail on and make no
difference whether you were there or not
then you are not essential you have got
to be essential you get in these days of
like downsizing at work yeah
when they come around thinning the herd
you don’t want to be a face in the crowd
you don’t want to be worse like I’ll
just get rid of these 50 over here oh
but not her wait a minute she’s the one
that knows how to get the copier working
when it doesn’t work she’s the one that
this client relies on for one of our
really big relationships she’s the one
this and that get rid of those 49 but do
not get rid of her she is essential and
think about your essential in your
children’s lives you’re the only mother
they’ll ever have that’s essential right
hey rule number nine find fulfillment
most people if they’re not really
fulfilled if they’re not satisfied if
they don’t have that
tired at the end of the day where they
go man yeah there’s a good day it’s
because they haven’t figured out what
their passion is what their currency is
and they’re not working on that if you
aren’t doing something you’re passionate
about you need to stop what you’re doing
and find out what that is and do that
because this is not a dress rehearsal
man I mean this is finite rule number
ten the very last one before the very
special bonus clip is dance this one
would teach you man we teach you all
feel good
I was just show you wanted silly I’m
going to show you one just one move is
very simple all I want you to do this is
this is the standard move anybody can do
this right here
nothing
now these give me over but we still
sweep up yeah
picking these up a little bit picking
these up filling pick your knees up
now I’ve got a bonus dr. Phil clip on
how to get in healthy relationship that
I think you’re gonna enjoy but before
that is time for the three-point landing
questions time to move from just
watching another video to actually
taking action in your life or your
business and if you’re feeling bold
respond with your answers in the
comments below
here we go question number one how can
you be essential to your clients number
two what change do you need to make
right now in your life or your business
and number three what does fulfillment
I think it’s really important in any
relationship that you ask yourself this
question what is my cost or being in
this relationship because there’s a cost
in every relationship you’re in there’s
a cost and you have to ask yourself what
is the cost of being in there if the
cost is you have to lose yourself you
can’t be who you are do what you do you
can’t be the person you are because you
must conform to them in order to coexist
peacefully the cost is you if the cost
is you have to work at it that’s okay
the cost is you have to make some
sacrifices that’s okay but ask yourself
in every relationship you’re in what’s
the cost for being in this relationship
and you’ll see real quick
whether it’s worth the price or whether
it’s not if you have to think of one
word that’s most important to you or
that sums you Apple so it would be like
a little beacon
if you want to learn from dr. Phil’s
mentor Oprah Winfrey check out her top
ten rules video the link is right there
next to me I think you’ll enjoy it
continue to believe and I’ll see you
there being able to live out the truest highest expression of ourselves
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