[Music]
but I want you to know that while
they’re getting the diamonds and the
millions there are a lot of people
around the world for them it is the
worst of times the best of times and the
worst of times
that’s called serious manner how come
such a difference from those who can
reach such incredible heights and those
who haven’t yet found the answers for
their life and their health in their
future we just have to palm to that and
let that give us a note of seriousness a
note of series it’s serious whether you
win or lose it’s serious whether you
succeed or failure it’s serious whether
you’ve got a good future carved out for
yourself or you do not know these are
serious matters matters of the heart are
serious matters of income or serious
matters of supporting your family
serious are you serious why we got a
serious matter here to discuss we
haven’t come with the latest ten stories
we’ve come with a serious matter and I
want you to take on that serious tone
you’ve got some serious products that
answer a serious need out there in the
marketplace I’m asking you to take it
serious take your own future series what
you can do for your family take it
serious this is serious business so
that’s the first thing I want to bring
to you
have the best year ever this year so
that you can say I made my best and find
his contribution to see that goal
reached not just for the figure for the
figure but for all the figure represents
for the healing it represents for the
restoration of working lives that it
represents and people that are scurries
about their life in the chancel now in
Currys on a new road for all that that
willing to make the studies willing to
make the commitment willing to do the
learning and find better ways to choose
the words find better ways to reach
inside get heart and soul mix it all
together and make an impact on people
but here’s the best motivation we’ve got
going the proof of our success when we
bring our success stories to this
platform that’s enough motivation when
we bring our dedication and let it show
we let the work of our hands show that’s
the motivation we want right not just
excitement just excitement alone won’t
do it just because you’ve listened to
those millionaire tapes one times no
sign you’ve got it I’m asking you to
listen to them over and over and over
I’m asking you to dedicate yourself to a
new level of learning you know study
learn grow change develop never let it
be said you didn’t learn right if you
want to solve your problems you got to
learn you want to take advantage of an
opportunity you got to learn develop
your own personal philosophy here
philosophy major determining factor and
how your life works out each person’s
philosophy is like the set of the sail
the same wind blows on us all the
difference in where we arrive at the end
of the week at the end of the month at
the end of the year is not the wind that
blows
and the wind is blowing around the world
the world is in solution things aren’t
changing the walls have come down all
kinds of things they’re happening in
Russia tonight today the winds are
blowing but what’s going to make the
major difference each person’s personal
philosophy that sets a better sail sets
a better sail
so don’t ask for a more favorable wind
that’s like wishing something that’s not
going to occur don’t ask for better seed
soil all you got so it’s available don’t
curse what you got
on this planet all we got to exceed the
tear the soil the tear the miracle of
life that’s here the opportunity that’s
here the seasons that are here that’s
all we got
wherever you come from in your country
the economy you got that’s all you got
in America our economy that’s all we got
the government that’s all we got the
marketplace that’s all we got whatever
you do don’t criticize all you got the
key is to set a better sail and turn
what you’ve got into the miracle of your
future don’t wish it was easier wish you
were better don’t wish for less problems
wish for more skills
you might go home and set a whole new
pace for yourself and we call it
cleaning up neglect should walk around
the block could walk around the block
for your good health don’t walk around
the block see you’re on the wrong track
should read could read don’t read on the
wrong track should call click call don’t
call on the wrong track could change
should change don’t change you’re on the
wrong track
letters you haven’t written
conversations you haven’t had with your
family somebody you should sit down with
when you get back home get that job done
don’t let neglect destroy your days
destroy your life and destroy your
future go back and do what you can and
if you’ll do what you can then life will
give you some extraordinary things to do
do you start first with the smallest of
disciplines and do not neglect them and
do not disregard them as being trifling
everything matters everything is
important
all disciplines affect each other in
fact here’s a good philosophical phrase
if you haven’t thought of it before here
it is everything affects everything else
it’s so easy to be casual and say well
this doesn’t matter this doesn’t matter
I’m telling you everything matters of
course some things matter more than
others but there isn’t anything that
if if you’ll be faithful if you’ll be
disciplined when the amounts are small
we’ll make you a ruler give you a
position of authority when the amounts
are many let’s take care of your
disciplines when the amounts are small
and then life will see to it that you
get some extraordinary numbers to work
with like you saw the stories displayed
here do not disregard the smallest of
disciplines let us not neglect do not
neglect the smallest of disciplines and
build on that foundation and you can
you say well what can I do about the
upcoming winters of my life the
challenges that I know I’m gonna face
here’s what you can do you can get wiser
and stronger and better just make a list
of that trio of words wiser stronger and
better go home smarter than you came go
home with more ideas than you came with
next get stronger you can develop the
muscle you can develop the courage
muscle you can develop the inspiration
muscle you can develop the dedication
muscle you can get stronger there’s
anybody here that can’t get stronger
next time we see you may not even
recognize you how strong you’re gonna be
able to become in language style
personality the ability to cope the
ability to handle with anything that
[Music]
the key is not to wish for a better
winter the key is to wish for more
strength or wisdom more courage get
better get wiser get stronger and you’ve
got to learn not only to nourish your
values you’ve got to learn
you battle with your enemies
whatever threatened you
I’m asking you to threaten it back take
care of your responsibilities
but don’t take anything off anymore
somebody wants to destroy your chances
for a good future by their negative talk
negative thinking putting it all down
I’m telling you walk away if you have to
walk away
whatever threatens you threaten it back
whatever threatens your opportunity
threatened it back now some of our
enemies are on the outside but here’s
the most important thing to understand
some of our enemies are on the inside
let me give you a quick list
indifference you got to do battle with
your own indifference boy it’s easy to
coast especially if you’ve accomplished
something you know extraordinary now
submit says I gotta relax here’s the key
not too long the weeds will take all you
plant if your rest too long don’t rest
too long indecision
you got to make those decisions the ones
that don’t turn out to be good gives you
the experience to make better decisions
don’t let much time go by without making
some decisions the ones that you can
make quickly make them quickly the ones
that take time take your time but get
those decisions made don’t let
indecision be an enemy robbed you the
future empty your bank account leave you
with zero in the purse don’t let that
happen
the next one is doubt
sure there’s doubts on the outside
people doubt that America is gonna make
it people doubt that Europe is gonna
make people doubt that Russia is gonna
make it the Poland’s gonna make it the
Czechoslovakia is gonna make they doubt
the whole world is gonna make it but I’m
asking you not to pick up all those
doubts I’m asking you to have some faith
have some courage believe drive your
doubts into a small corner
don’t let them loose like a mad dog
drive you into a small corner don’t
doubt the future don’t doubt the
possibilities don’t doubt the
extraordinary gifts that your
distributors bring to your organization
don’t doubt that here’s the most
important one of all don’t doubt
yourself if I’ve got miracle-working
power to change my life so do you if
I’ve got the ability to change so do you
if I’ve got the ability to read so do
you if I can discover so can you if I
can grow you can grow this evening we’re
going to be looking at how to get
unstuck I think some of you know what I
mean sometimes we have to ask ourselves
what’s using my life I’ve heard a guy
give a lecture one time that says we are
today what we were win and he was
talking about the fact that we to a
great extent behave think react because
of some previous experience that we’ve
had one of the things that we know about
life is that it is always changing
sometimes you’re up sometimes you’re
down sometimes things go real well and
sometimes they don’t sometimes you’re
happy and sometimes you said now that’s
that thing called life and when we begin
to understand and know that accepting
that reality that that we will never
ever have things just on an even keel
all the time but you’re gonna have some
ups and you’re gonna have some downs but
during those down moments that’s where
the growth takes place
that’s where the work is see anybody can
feel good when they have their health
their bills are paid they have happy
relationships the children are acting
normal business is successful
anybody could be positive then anybody
can have a larger vision then anybody
can have faith under those kinds of
circumstances am I correct
see but the real challenge the real
challenge of growth mentally emotionally
and spiritually comes when you get
knocked down somebody said that that
adversity introduces a man to himself or
woman how you handle it
that’s where the growth takes place when
I was facing some challenges I had a guy
say something to me and I suggest this
is one of the first things that you want
to do when you’re facing a challenge you
want to get unstuck evaluate where you
are look at it assess yourself assess
yourself and assess the situation what
brought you there
what role did you play the role
Nightingale had a saying I like he said
all of us are self-made but only the
what has brought you to this point what
did you learn from it are you learning
anything are you doing it over and over
and over again somebody said that
insanity is doing the same thing in the
are you going through it are you growing
through it are you bigger and better
because of it because it’s not going to
leave you until you grow through it I
was going through a major challenge in
my life that was wearing me out that was
using me and one of my students told me
in a class that I was teaching lessons
in truth she said less until you handle
it with grace it will stay in your face
[Music]
the challenges of life how do we get it
how do we get stuck a friend of mine
went through a divorce
my best friend he had a wife that did
not love him as much as he loved her it
was this first real true love he was a
very religious man did not believe in
divorce he made a mistake and he paid
for his mistake with a lot of pain a lot
of Tears and they came to a point where
he knew he should have gotten a divorce
but he was stuck he was stuck in
something called revenge he said she’s
made me so miserable I’m gonna pay her
back he was stuck and he stayed in there
longer than he should have because it
began to us attack him it began to
affect him psychologically and as a
result of that will eventually did get a
divorce he took that same attitude to
other relationships looking for
something to go wrong he was burned so
badly he did not want to risk pain again
he was going in relationships trying to
avoid pain when it became too close he
would do something to make sure the
relationship did not work he would
always try and find something wrong with
the person because they’re no perfect
people so if you look for it you can
find it he was stuck in revenge another
friend of mine working on a job loved
the company very much expected to retire
there and one day they call him in the
office ask him for his badge and
identification told the security man up
walked into his desk told him he was
fired and he had to leave then he was
devastated
and if you came anywhere near him he
will tell you his story as we all have
stories
even when he got a job he went on the
job telling anybody who would listen how
they fired him unjustly and he always
ended with it wasn’t fair life isn’t
fair life just is it’s not fair that
birds eat worms and they do so we can’t
even deal with what’s fair but he’s
stuck in the fact that it’s not fair I
don’t deserve that they were wrong I
used to be a state legislator in
Columbus Ohio during the break we used
to go out on the front lawn of the Ohio
legislature and the Capitol there and
observe people as they came by that was
one particular person that all of us
knew the children adults everybody used
to pick at him when he came by we called
him chicken man he had a feather in his
hat he had a toy chicken on top of his
car that he would drive around the area
in downtown blinking his lights and
occasionally blowing his horn when he
got out of his car he would dry he would
walk down town with a baby carriage with
two little baby dolls in there and a
picture of a woman and when you say
something to him I came near him you
would hear him making the sounds of a
chicken all of us used to laugh at
chicken man we didn’t know chicken man’s
story chicken man woke up one morning
around 3:00 a.m. and his house was on
fire
keep panic and he got out of the window
and left quickly only to get outside to
hear his children and his wife screaming
for help he ran back to the door to go
in to save them and the flames were too
hot too awesome he tried to get in he
couldn’t get in he was desperate frantic
pretty soon the cries stopped they
perished in the fire his brother-in-law
came found out that his sister had died
and his niece is in the fire grab
chicken man and start beating him you
chicken why did you save my sister your
chicken your chicken when the people
pulled it off chicken man they picked
him up and said are you all right
and chicken man looked at him and he
started making the sounds of a chicken
he never ever overcame that tragedy he
will stop from that experience none of
us knew what chicken man went wrong with
this picture and these little dolls I
remember when I was stuck in anger for a
long time when I made a commitment to my
adopted mother that I was going to
purchase her a home I’ll never forget
the experience of working real hard to
get the money for the down payment so
when he told me of a beautiful home an
exclusive area of Miami went to see it
took my mother there and she said yes I
want it there’s on the water we went to
the closing my attorney said less have
you had a title search
I said what’s a title search well you
just take a couple of days to check it
out and make sure there are no liens
against the property that you might have
to pay if you buy this home the guy who
was there selling me the house he said
listen he said the only reason that I’m
selling you this house and selling it at
a loss is because I admire the fact that
you want to purchase this house for your
mother I have another guy who will give
me substantially more money but I like
you and I’ve got to get back to
Philadelphia now if we cannot consummate
this deal now then the deal is off I
said there are no liens against the
property he says no of course not
I looked at my attorney I said I believe
him I’ll sign she said mr. Brian I’m not
questioning his honesty she said but
business is business I signed that
contract and we had a big celebration
everybody in the neighborhood was
talking about Leslie coming home one of
the twins that Mamie adopted to buy her
home Charl isn’t that nice
God is going to bless him
a few weeks later I received a letter a
registered letter indicating that the
house was going up for sheriff sale on
the courthouse steps a man had filed a
$12,000 lien against the property
because the previous owner old him that
money and if I did not come up with
$12,000 in 30 days he was going to sell
the house to the highest bidder I called
this man and said mister my name is les
Rana I purchased this house I had
nothing to do with your prior bill apply
bill bill he said that’s not my problem
he said you should have had a title
search I said can you give me time I
said my mother is an older lady she has
a bad heart and I said please I said if
you just give me the time I don’t know
how I’m gonna do it with the house note
and everything else but I think I can
pay you at least $2,000 a month and
within six months somehow I will pay
your money he said no I wanted all in 30
days so you get out I did everything I
could
rack my mind thinking about how I could
get $12,000 because I took everything I
could to get the money just for the down
payment and the closing I finally had to
face the reality that I wasn’t going to
be able to do it I was up around two
o’clock in the morning walking back and
forth thinking how was I going to tell
my mother this my children were there in
the room sleeping all night long I
agonized over this I lost over 23 pounds
pretty soon I went in the room where my
mother was sleeping and I said mama I
got down on my knees by the bed I said
mama I gotta talk to you and she said
what’s wrong I said mama I said we got
to get out the house I said in my haste
to buy the house I made a mistake
she said that’s all right baby I didn’t
like this house any huh
I said mama you told me you loved it I
brought our friends out here to sit she
said you know I have arthritis in my
knees and I don’t like going up the
steps but I knew it made you happy you
loved it so much I said mom I’ve lost 23
pounds agonizing over this well we had
to pack up and go back to the old house
down the street from Northwestern High
School in Liberty City
all those maples who came out and saw
his leave those neighbors were there as
we were coming back we went in a house
the roaches were playing cards saying
I was wiped out I was embarrassed and
humiliated words cannot encompass the
symbolism of what I felt I remember when
I was unloading the furniture now I
began to cry my sister came by hmm you
know you didn’t have any money to buy no
house mr. big time hadn’t given me a
quarter you know mama got a bad heart
now you’re back where you belong
as I was crying with my head down taking
furniture and my momma said hold your
head up I said mama I said I just feel
so bad about this mama she said hold
your head up and dry your tears you have
nothing to be shame up and I did as we
unloaded that furniture in that house
for several weeks I was numb
I was immobilized with anger if I had
seen that guy I was taking about flying
to Philadelphia I had all kind of dreams
about him and I don’t want to get this
guy here hitting would have been too
good for him I just want to just grab
him and just bite him just
[Applause]
I just may have found him they say well
I’ve been like a Doberman Pinscher yes
God wouldn’t say I thought I made
everything but I don’t know where this
came from I was reading the book on
forgiveness and they had a lot of that
says forgive and grow let that go you
see your mind is you know you’re going
to a service station to get gas you
don’t go in there and just stop pumping
when you push the lever up it clears the
previous bill by the same token if you
want to begin to move you’ve got to
clear your mind of all the unnecessary
luggage and baggage that’s weighing us
down I couldn’t move I couldn’t think
about what am I going to do to get out
of this situation because I was so
concerned about what happened and what
he did to me and how bad it was I was
sold stuck in that I couldn’t even focus
on what I should have done feeling sorry
for myself and angry and none of that
was taking me anywhere so pretty soon I
I learned through effort made a
conscious deliberate determined effort I
had to let it go I had to forgive it let
it go and begin to focus on developing
myself and I say to you you’re gonna
have people to do things to you things
are going to happen to you and the most
important thing to do is to harness your
will and let it go and move so you can
grow so you can get on with your life it
doesn’t matter about what happens to you
what matters is what are you going to do
about it
what are you going to do now less how
long do you want to tell everybody at
the bus stop in anybody who would stand
and listen to you
how long you repeat the same thing over
and over and over and over and over
again how many times do we have to hear
that don’t go out telling people what
your story is everybody has a story
eighty percent don’t care and 20 percent
glad it’s you sometimes you think you
got some problem you hear somebody else
problem and the way that their problem
is real bad it make you feel good to let
chicken man aloud his tragedy to destroy
his life all of us have experienced some
tragedy if we haven’t we will and you
can either let it destroy your life or
you can build upon it you can permit it
to let you to let it hold you down or
you can decide I’m not going to let that
happen to me I’m bigger than this make a
declaration to yourself declare all-out
war that you’re going to get out of this
rut I don’t care how good you are until
I care how talented you are I don’t care
how much you work on yourself there are
some times when things aren’t going to
go right they just I’m not going to go
right there are times with anything that
can’t happen will happen Murphy’s Law
will be knocking at your door wow I
don’t know why that’s called life and
you have to deal with it sometimes your
life will be in a slump just like sports
some of the best shooters can’t hit
baskets different times and games they
get in a slump do they sit on the
sidelines and say you know gestured hit
a basket today no they continue to
execute I suggest to you that if you are
facing a challenge
don’t stop stay busy work your plan
continue to do those things that you
know that work for you after you have
evaluated yourself in the situation
continue to move stay busy stay busy
stay busy repeat out to me help somebody
and help yourself because what you give
is what you get find somebody that you
can help so you can forget about you for
a moment see sometimes the best thing to
do is to be sometimes you have to just
back up and go within yourself a bow and
arrow you you can’t take a bow and just
push it out an hour you just can’t push
the arrow out you have to pull it back
and then release it sometimes you have
to back up and go within and pray and
meditate and recharge your batteries go
away clear your head and then come back
and look at it from a different vantage
point don’t operate while you are under
the spell of the effect of what’s going
on next thing is that you’ve got to
activate the thinker in you don’t allow
your emotions to control you we are
emotional but you want to begin to
discipline your emotion if you don’t
discipline and contain your emotions
they will use you your mind goes on
automatic just like a god you know I
loved reading the book call has a man
take it by James Allen he uses the
analogy of the mind being like a garden
you know weeds don’t have to have any
encouragement to grow you don’t have to
water them they don’t have to get
sunshine they don’t have to have fur
ground they will grow through the cracks
of a sidewalk am i right but if you want
to grow orchids or roses or any kind of
exotic flowers there are special
processes and procedures you must go
through we’re by the same token you
don’t have to force yourself or motivate
yourself to think negatively to be
depressed to hate somebody to want
revenge you want to get back at somebody
to beat yourself up over the head to
feel loaded with guilt you
to make any effort to do that your mind
is on automatic it will do that by
itself but if you want to begin to move
into your own personal greatness if you
want to begin to really enjoy a happy
successful healthy life you’ve got to be
willing to go against the tide you’ve
got to be willing to harness your will
and say in spite of this I’m in control
here I’m not gonna let this get me down
I’m not gonna let this destroy me I’m
coming back and I’ll be stronger and
better because of it you have got to
make a declaration this is what you
stand for you’re standing up for your
dreams you’re standing up for peace of
mind you’re standing up for health you
want it and you’re gonna go all out to
have it it’s not going to be easy when
you want to change it’s not easy if it
were in fact easy everybody to do it but
if you’re serious you’re go all out yes
I’m going to turn this situation around
I’m not gonna sit back and moan and cry
over what happened and what went wrong
and who did what I’m going to do
something about this situation the next
thing that is important is that expect
things to get better for you because
they are their life is cyclic you’re not
what is it whatever experience you’re
having right now it has not come to stay
it has come to pass not to stay just to
pass it’s just going through the biggest
challenge is is to know what’s happening
this is a part of this thing we call
life this too shall pass and maintaining
perspective putting it in perspective I
was doing a training at a college and it
was a two-day training during
orientation and in the training that I
provide I’m a motivational speaker but I
conduct processes and personal dynamics
where people began to go through changes
that stimulate the right and left
hemisphere of the brain enable them to
see themselves differently I conducted
this particular simulation with each
young kids 17 and 18
years of age so that they would begin to
see how they make decisions and how they
would survive in this particular
simulation process we gave them we had
them to do it individually and then
collectively over 30% of them wrote down
as their first option in order to
survive they would commit suicide first
thing they wrote down suicide among
young people has increased 300% over
5,000 will successfully take their lives
this year why why did he do that very
fast I was so shocked I said what do you
mean well at least we would not suffer
and then they had the nerve to write
down all of the other things they were
going to do after they committed suicide
I say listen could Dumbo
now when you when you come up with a
permanent solution for a temporary
problem
that’s it games over that’s it you’re
not going to do anything anybody wrote
suicide at the top you can put your
pencil down see a lot of us because of
our limited vision of ourselves a lot of
us who begin to focus on problems and
enable them to overwhelm us we begin to
think that we have no options we begin
to believe that there’s no way out
repeat after me there’s always a way
where there’s a will there’s a way
shake somebody’s hand on your right or
left and say I’m unstoppable
you’ve got to make those kind of
declarations to yourself I’m unstoppable
this will not get me down and if I get
knocked down I’m gonna be like um leopa
Scott you said you’re gonna have some
low moments in life but when you do you
will have high lows when you work on
yourself what are some of those things
that you can do during this period of
time go for walks do some things for you
just go for a stroll so you can engage
in some reflective thinking on life on
yourself looking and enjoying the
universe smelling the roses along the
way listen to upbeat music music that
inspired you I have Olli but goodies I
have strategies that I engage in to
recharge my batteries I’m preparing for
that because I know things are going to
happen that I cannot anticipate very
good friend of mine died the other day I
had a program for myself I have books
that I read that inspire me tapes that I
listen to that fire me up because you’re
gonna have sometimes little moments when
you won’t want to get out of bed you
just want to stay there the times you
won’t want to come out the house the
times you’ll be feeling bad and don’t
know why what’s wrong I don’t know just
what happen I don’t know
it’s called life the other thing is take
full responsibility for your life except
where you are and the responsibility
that you’re going to take yourself where
you want to go so once that we have two
primary choices in life
we can either accept conditions as they
exist or we can take the responsibility
to change them see a lot of people want
to exempt themselves from taking
responsibility all they want to do is
talk about the problem every time you
see them they’ll tell you their story
over and over and over and over again no
no you want to take responsibility for
your life
I got me here I can get me out of this
and I’m getting out I’m not going to be
a volunteer victim George Bernard Shaw
said there are two kinds of people in
life you know he said those that make
things happen those that watch things
happen and those that don’t know what
happened and he said the people to get
alone in this life look around for the
circumstances that they want and if they
can’t find them they make up they create
them so part of beginning to get unstuck
you’ve got to decide that the behavior
pattern that you have adopted doesn’t
work for you you’ve got to change your
strategies and changing your strategy
means reinventing your life recreating
you and you have the power to do that
you can decide that you’re going to
change that you’re not going to be a
you can decide that you’re going to
stand up to life
you can decide that I’m gonna live each
day as if it were my last you can you
have the power to make that decision
you can decide I’m gonna work on myself
and develop myself I’m going to empower
me and all of these things that are
happening to me right now
they’re just temporary inconveniences
they’re not stronger than I am I’m in
charge here
next thing is separate what you do from
who you are that’s what the guilt trap
is about see a lot of folks won’t let
you forget what you used to do or what
you have done what mistakes you’ve made
all of us have made some mistakes in
life all of us have done some things
that if we had them to do over again we
wouldn’t do it again
a lot of things that if I had it to do
over again if I knew then what I know
now I would have done it differently
well it did happen that way and that’s
what you call life I didn’t do it like
that oh you don’t want me to live that
down how you want to keep on putting
that in my face about what I did guess
that’s what I did fit won’t do it today
so you’re picking on an innocent man
so as you in the process of reinventing
your life write a description of the
kind of person that you want to be one
of the things that you must overcome
what qualities about your personality
you know that you’re going to have to
change because those particular
characteristics are liabilities to you
what are you assets what are you strong
points look at and evaluating yourself
to make that determination other thing
is that in order to get out of a rut we
need some coaching find some trusted
critics people that you know care about
you love you some things that keeps us
from growing and getting out of ruts
number one we identify with feedback we
take it personal when someone want to
give us some feedback on where we are
falling short you tell us about our
blind spots we want to have everything
being positive about us we’re not
perfect it’s it hurts I have a friend
who was a trusted critic I don’t like
him but I love him he doesn’t tell me
the things I want to hear he tell me
what I need to hear so I can grow it
hurts it hurts when he put me on the hot
seat I can’t stand it
but that’s the only way that I can grow
and I’m glad that he loves me enough to
risk our friendship to tell me what I
need to hear not what I want to hear get
a support group somebody that you can
talk to people who perhaps might have a
similar problem support groups are very
powerful that you can share some of the
challenges that you’re going through and
it might be a situation where one person
can give you an idea of how they handle
that situation and create an opening for
you begin to stimulate some
possibilities in your mind on how you
can resolve the problem we can’t grow by
ourselves as I mentioned before we grow
from people and projects the other thing
is about life when things happen to you
when you permit things to use you you
can’t change the past but you can
interpret you can reinterpret how you
see it for years I was going around with
a heavy load on my shoulders feeling bad
because I was adopted doing interviews
for adoption agencies in foster homes
and I was on television once and I told
these people in this particular
interview that I was given away my twin
brother and I when we were six weeks of
age friend of mine fortunately was
listening to the program and she said
les like to have lunch with you and so I
went over to see her she said when a
woman cares a baby for nine months
feeling that life movement in her it’s
automatic and natural for her to learn
to love that baby to expect it to come
here when she bares to pain to bring it
into the world
your mother Mamie Brown when she came in
to adopt you guys she didn’t go through
that process she looked at whoever your
biological mother was and said I’ll take
her you are giving away less you were
same circumstances same event but
reinterpreted an interpretation that
empowers me am I making sense to you
so when you begin to look at your past
give an interpretation that empowers you
that’s where it used to be that’s not
where I am now I’m growing now I want
you to think about in your mind right
now think about some particular event or
act in your life that you feel very bad
about but you really regret that that
took place if you had to do over again
you would do it differently with that
there I want you to see yourself in your
mind’s eye and say to yourself I love
myself unconditionally and I forgive
I want you to think about somebody that
that cost you some pain cost you some
disappointment somebody that you don’t
like let me tell you something about the
mind how it uses you tell you something
super stupid that I’d used to do do you
know for years I hated my mother and my
father whoever they were because they
gave me away as I thought at that point
in time and guess what
I didn’t have any faces for the hatred
because I never saw either one of them
and I said I hate them for that and then
once I forgave them and said it’s okay
had they not given me away I would have
never been blessed to have the mother
that I have who to me is the greatest
mother in the world so the universe and
but when I went through this process
saying forgive them I remember in my
mind as I was trying to picture these
people I had two individuals in my mind
standing there with no faces because I
didn’t know how they look but I released
that I let that luggage go think about
somebody that you’ve heard somebody that
you’ve disappointed either deliberately
or inadvertently or someone that has
hurt you
deliberately or inadvertently think
about them somebody that that you really
really when you think about them this
the room turns red look at them in your
forgive you unconditionally for that’s a
heavy load to let off when I thought
about that guy I said wait a minute
I can’t no no you don’t know what this
guy did this was my mama you don’t know
what we went through my students said
les forgive let it go if you want to be
forgiven you better forgive somebody
none of us are perfect all of us have
made some mistakes and it wasn’t easy
it’s not easy forgiving am i right it’s
not everybody won’t forgive they say I
forgive but I don’t forget now
[Laughter]
let it go so you can grow let’s get a
little demonstration here throw it up to
everyone on this side here right
demonstrate it like this let’s go I
throw away negative thoughts revenge
guilt
anything that’s been holding me back
now with that right hand let’s bring
something in bring in love peace of mind
good relationships whole lot of money
I don’t know why people raise their
voices always they hold out of that I
mean they get serious too you know they
they usually people are you run it they
use two hands it
reinterpreting our past understanding
and knowing that we can move from where
we are that we can begin to design the
kind of life that empowers us that gives
us happiness that enable us to be on top
of who we are knowing that as we begin
to explore new horizons and new vistas
in life that as we begin to to focus on
developing ourselves as we begin to
elevate ourselves and not to follow the
crowd activating the thinker in us in
this disciplining and putting on hold
the emotional part of ourselves it’s not
easy but through practice and practice
and practice practice makes what
absolutely not dismantle that belief
system
practice makes improvement you can
always better your best you can always
go beyond anything that you have ever
done you never hit a state of perfection
you’re always bigger than what you do
and so all you’re looking for new
breakthroughs through practice and
practice and practice you’ll get better
and better and better and there’s still
some things that will happen to you that
will catch you on the blindside that you
did not anticipate you’ll get knocked
you’ll be able to get to your feet again
be on the ropes but you have a fast recovery rate when you work on yourself
but I want you to know that while
they’re getting the diamonds and the
millions there are a lot of people
around the world for them it is the
worst of times the best of times and the
worst of times
that’s called serious manner how come
such a difference from those who can
reach such incredible heights and those
who haven’t yet found the answers for
their life and their health in their
future we just have to palm to that and
let that give us a note of seriousness a
note of series it’s serious whether you
win or lose it’s serious whether you
succeed or failure it’s serious whether
you’ve got a good future carved out for
yourself or you do not know these are
serious matters matters of the heart are
serious matters of income or serious
matters of supporting your family
serious are you serious why we got a
serious matter here to discuss we
haven’t come with the latest ten stories
we’ve come with a serious matter and I
want you to take on that serious tone
you’ve got some serious products that
answer a serious need out there in the
marketplace I’m asking you to take it
serious take your own future series what
you can do for your family take it
serious this is serious business so
that’s the first thing I want to bring
to you
have the best year ever this year so
that you can say I made my best and find
his contribution to see that goal
reached not just for the figure for the
figure but for all the figure represents
for the healing it represents for the
restoration of working lives that it
represents and people that are scurries
about their life in the chancel now in
Currys on a new road for all that that
willing to make the studies willing to
make the commitment willing to do the
learning and find better ways to choose
the words find better ways to reach
inside get heart and soul mix it all
together and make an impact on people
but here’s the best motivation we’ve got
going the proof of our success when we
bring our success stories to this
platform that’s enough motivation when
we bring our dedication and let it show
we let the work of our hands show that’s
the motivation we want right not just
excitement just excitement alone won’t
do it just because you’ve listened to
those millionaire tapes one times no
sign you’ve got it I’m asking you to
listen to them over and over and over
I’m asking you to dedicate yourself to a
new level of learning you know study
learn grow change develop never let it
be said you didn’t learn right if you
want to solve your problems you got to
learn you want to take advantage of an
opportunity you got to learn develop
your own personal philosophy here
philosophy major determining factor and
how your life works out each person’s
philosophy is like the set of the sail
the same wind blows on us all the
difference in where we arrive at the end
of the week at the end of the month at
the end of the year is not the wind that
blows
and the wind is blowing around the world
the world is in solution things aren’t
changing the walls have come down all
kinds of things they’re happening in
Russia tonight today the winds are
blowing but what’s going to make the
major difference each person’s personal
philosophy that sets a better sail sets
a better sail
so don’t ask for a more favorable wind
that’s like wishing something that’s not
going to occur don’t ask for better seed
soil all you got so it’s available don’t
curse what you got
on this planet all we got to exceed the
tear the soil the tear the miracle of
life that’s here the opportunity that’s
here the seasons that are here that’s
all we got
wherever you come from in your country
the economy you got that’s all you got
in America our economy that’s all we got
the government that’s all we got the
marketplace that’s all we got whatever
you do don’t criticize all you got the
key is to set a better sail and turn
what you’ve got into the miracle of your
future don’t wish it was easier wish you
were better don’t wish for less problems
wish for more skills
you might go home and set a whole new
pace for yourself and we call it
cleaning up neglect should walk around
the block could walk around the block
for your good health don’t walk around
the block see you’re on the wrong track
should read could read don’t read on the
wrong track should call click call don’t
call on the wrong track could change
should change don’t change you’re on the
wrong track
letters you haven’t written
conversations you haven’t had with your
family somebody you should sit down with
when you get back home get that job done
don’t let neglect destroy your days
destroy your life and destroy your
future go back and do what you can and
if you’ll do what you can then life will
give you some extraordinary things to do
do you start first with the smallest of
disciplines and do not neglect them and
do not disregard them as being trifling
everything matters everything is
important
all disciplines affect each other in
fact here’s a good philosophical phrase
if you haven’t thought of it before here
it is everything affects everything else
it’s so easy to be casual and say well
this doesn’t matter this doesn’t matter
I’m telling you everything matters of
course some things matter more than
others but there isn’t anything that
if if you’ll be faithful if you’ll be
disciplined when the amounts are small
we’ll make you a ruler give you a
position of authority when the amounts
are many let’s take care of your
disciplines when the amounts are small
and then life will see to it that you
get some extraordinary numbers to work
with like you saw the stories displayed
here do not disregard the smallest of
disciplines let us not neglect do not
neglect the smallest of disciplines and
build on that foundation and you can
you say well what can I do about the
upcoming winters of my life the
challenges that I know I’m gonna face
here’s what you can do you can get wiser
and stronger and better just make a list
of that trio of words wiser stronger and
better go home smarter than you came go
home with more ideas than you came with
next get stronger you can develop the
muscle you can develop the courage
muscle you can develop the inspiration
muscle you can develop the dedication
muscle you can get stronger there’s
anybody here that can’t get stronger
next time we see you may not even
recognize you how strong you’re gonna be
able to become in language style
personality the ability to cope the
ability to handle with anything that
[Music]
the key is not to wish for a better
winter the key is to wish for more
strength or wisdom more courage get
better get wiser get stronger and you’ve
got to learn not only to nourish your
values you’ve got to learn
you battle with your enemies
whatever threatened you
I’m asking you to threaten it back take
care of your responsibilities
but don’t take anything off anymore
somebody wants to destroy your chances
for a good future by their negative talk
negative thinking putting it all down
I’m telling you walk away if you have to
walk away
whatever threatens you threaten it back
whatever threatens your opportunity
threatened it back now some of our
enemies are on the outside but here’s
the most important thing to understand
some of our enemies are on the inside
let me give you a quick list
indifference you got to do battle with
your own indifference boy it’s easy to
coast especially if you’ve accomplished
something you know extraordinary now
submit says I gotta relax here’s the key
not too long the weeds will take all you
plant if your rest too long don’t rest
too long indecision
you got to make those decisions the ones
that don’t turn out to be good gives you
the experience to make better decisions
don’t let much time go by without making
some decisions the ones that you can
make quickly make them quickly the ones
that take time take your time but get
those decisions made don’t let
indecision be an enemy robbed you the
future empty your bank account leave you
with zero in the purse don’t let that
happen
the next one is doubt
sure there’s doubts on the outside
people doubt that America is gonna make
it people doubt that Europe is gonna
make people doubt that Russia is gonna
make it the Poland’s gonna make it the
Czechoslovakia is gonna make they doubt
the whole world is gonna make it but I’m
asking you not to pick up all those
doubts I’m asking you to have some faith
have some courage believe drive your
doubts into a small corner
don’t let them loose like a mad dog
drive you into a small corner don’t
doubt the future don’t doubt the
possibilities don’t doubt the
extraordinary gifts that your
distributors bring to your organization
don’t doubt that here’s the most
important one of all don’t doubt
yourself if I’ve got miracle-working
power to change my life so do you if
I’ve got the ability to change so do you
if I’ve got the ability to read so do
you if I can discover so can you if I
can grow you can grow this evening we’re
going to be looking at how to get
unstuck I think some of you know what I
mean sometimes we have to ask ourselves
what’s using my life I’ve heard a guy
give a lecture one time that says we are
today what we were win and he was
talking about the fact that we to a
great extent behave think react because
of some previous experience that we’ve
had one of the things that we know about
life is that it is always changing
sometimes you’re up sometimes you’re
down sometimes things go real well and
sometimes they don’t sometimes you’re
happy and sometimes you said now that’s
that thing called life and when we begin
to understand and know that accepting
that reality that that we will never
ever have things just on an even keel
all the time but you’re gonna have some
ups and you’re gonna have some downs but
during those down moments that’s where
the growth takes place
that’s where the work is see anybody can
feel good when they have their health
their bills are paid they have happy
relationships the children are acting
normal business is successful
anybody could be positive then anybody
can have a larger vision then anybody
can have faith under those kinds of
circumstances am I correct
see but the real challenge the real
challenge of growth mentally emotionally
and spiritually comes when you get
knocked down somebody said that that
adversity introduces a man to himself or
woman how you handle it
that’s where the growth takes place when
I was facing some challenges I had a guy
say something to me and I suggest this
is one of the first things that you want
to do when you’re facing a challenge you
want to get unstuck evaluate where you
are look at it assess yourself assess
yourself and assess the situation what
brought you there
what role did you play the role
Nightingale had a saying I like he said
all of us are self-made but only the
what has brought you to this point what
did you learn from it are you learning
anything are you doing it over and over
and over again somebody said that
insanity is doing the same thing in the
are you going through it are you growing
through it are you bigger and better
because of it because it’s not going to
leave you until you grow through it I
was going through a major challenge in
my life that was wearing me out that was
using me and one of my students told me
in a class that I was teaching lessons
in truth she said less until you handle
it with grace it will stay in your face
[Music]
the challenges of life how do we get it
how do we get stuck a friend of mine
went through a divorce
my best friend he had a wife that did
not love him as much as he loved her it
was this first real true love he was a
very religious man did not believe in
divorce he made a mistake and he paid
for his mistake with a lot of pain a lot
of Tears and they came to a point where
he knew he should have gotten a divorce
but he was stuck he was stuck in
something called revenge he said she’s
made me so miserable I’m gonna pay her
back he was stuck and he stayed in there
longer than he should have because it
began to us attack him it began to
affect him psychologically and as a
result of that will eventually did get a
divorce he took that same attitude to
other relationships looking for
something to go wrong he was burned so
badly he did not want to risk pain again
he was going in relationships trying to
avoid pain when it became too close he
would do something to make sure the
relationship did not work he would
always try and find something wrong with
the person because they’re no perfect
people so if you look for it you can
find it he was stuck in revenge another
friend of mine working on a job loved
the company very much expected to retire
there and one day they call him in the
office ask him for his badge and
identification told the security man up
walked into his desk told him he was
fired and he had to leave then he was
devastated
and if you came anywhere near him he
will tell you his story as we all have
stories
even when he got a job he went on the
job telling anybody who would listen how
they fired him unjustly and he always
ended with it wasn’t fair life isn’t
fair life just is it’s not fair that
birds eat worms and they do so we can’t
even deal with what’s fair but he’s
stuck in the fact that it’s not fair I
don’t deserve that they were wrong I
used to be a state legislator in
Columbus Ohio during the break we used
to go out on the front lawn of the Ohio
legislature and the Capitol there and
observe people as they came by that was
one particular person that all of us
knew the children adults everybody used
to pick at him when he came by we called
him chicken man he had a feather in his
hat he had a toy chicken on top of his
car that he would drive around the area
in downtown blinking his lights and
occasionally blowing his horn when he
got out of his car he would dry he would
walk down town with a baby carriage with
two little baby dolls in there and a
picture of a woman and when you say
something to him I came near him you
would hear him making the sounds of a
chicken all of us used to laugh at
chicken man we didn’t know chicken man’s
story chicken man woke up one morning
around 3:00 a.m. and his house was on
fire
keep panic and he got out of the window
and left quickly only to get outside to
hear his children and his wife screaming
for help he ran back to the door to go
in to save them and the flames were too
hot too awesome he tried to get in he
couldn’t get in he was desperate frantic
pretty soon the cries stopped they
perished in the fire his brother-in-law
came found out that his sister had died
and his niece is in the fire grab
chicken man and start beating him you
chicken why did you save my sister your
chicken your chicken when the people
pulled it off chicken man they picked
him up and said are you all right
and chicken man looked at him and he
started making the sounds of a chicken
he never ever overcame that tragedy he
will stop from that experience none of
us knew what chicken man went wrong with
this picture and these little dolls I
remember when I was stuck in anger for a
long time when I made a commitment to my
adopted mother that I was going to
purchase her a home I’ll never forget
the experience of working real hard to
get the money for the down payment so
when he told me of a beautiful home an
exclusive area of Miami went to see it
took my mother there and she said yes I
want it there’s on the water we went to
the closing my attorney said less have
you had a title search
I said what’s a title search well you
just take a couple of days to check it
out and make sure there are no liens
against the property that you might have
to pay if you buy this home the guy who
was there selling me the house he said
listen he said the only reason that I’m
selling you this house and selling it at
a loss is because I admire the fact that
you want to purchase this house for your
mother I have another guy who will give
me substantially more money but I like
you and I’ve got to get back to
Philadelphia now if we cannot consummate
this deal now then the deal is off I
said there are no liens against the
property he says no of course not
I looked at my attorney I said I believe
him I’ll sign she said mr. Brian I’m not
questioning his honesty she said but
business is business I signed that
contract and we had a big celebration
everybody in the neighborhood was
talking about Leslie coming home one of
the twins that Mamie adopted to buy her
home Charl isn’t that nice
God is going to bless him
a few weeks later I received a letter a
registered letter indicating that the
house was going up for sheriff sale on
the courthouse steps a man had filed a
$12,000 lien against the property
because the previous owner old him that
money and if I did not come up with
$12,000 in 30 days he was going to sell
the house to the highest bidder I called
this man and said mister my name is les
Rana I purchased this house I had
nothing to do with your prior bill apply
bill bill he said that’s not my problem
he said you should have had a title
search I said can you give me time I
said my mother is an older lady she has
a bad heart and I said please I said if
you just give me the time I don’t know
how I’m gonna do it with the house note
and everything else but I think I can
pay you at least $2,000 a month and
within six months somehow I will pay
your money he said no I wanted all in 30
days so you get out I did everything I
could
rack my mind thinking about how I could
get $12,000 because I took everything I
could to get the money just for the down
payment and the closing I finally had to
face the reality that I wasn’t going to
be able to do it I was up around two
o’clock in the morning walking back and
forth thinking how was I going to tell
my mother this my children were there in
the room sleeping all night long I
agonized over this I lost over 23 pounds
pretty soon I went in the room where my
mother was sleeping and I said mama I
got down on my knees by the bed I said
mama I gotta talk to you and she said
what’s wrong I said mama I said we got
to get out the house I said in my haste
to buy the house I made a mistake
she said that’s all right baby I didn’t
like this house any huh
I said mama you told me you loved it I
brought our friends out here to sit she
said you know I have arthritis in my
knees and I don’t like going up the
steps but I knew it made you happy you
loved it so much I said mom I’ve lost 23
pounds agonizing over this well we had
to pack up and go back to the old house
down the street from Northwestern High
School in Liberty City
all those maples who came out and saw
his leave those neighbors were there as
we were coming back we went in a house
the roaches were playing cards saying
I was wiped out I was embarrassed and
humiliated words cannot encompass the
symbolism of what I felt I remember when
I was unloading the furniture now I
began to cry my sister came by hmm you
know you didn’t have any money to buy no
house mr. big time hadn’t given me a
quarter you know mama got a bad heart
now you’re back where you belong
as I was crying with my head down taking
furniture and my momma said hold your
head up I said mama I said I just feel
so bad about this mama she said hold
your head up and dry your tears you have
nothing to be shame up and I did as we
unloaded that furniture in that house
for several weeks I was numb
I was immobilized with anger if I had
seen that guy I was taking about flying
to Philadelphia I had all kind of dreams
about him and I don’t want to get this
guy here hitting would have been too
good for him I just want to just grab
him and just bite him just
[Applause]
I just may have found him they say well
I’ve been like a Doberman Pinscher yes
God wouldn’t say I thought I made
everything but I don’t know where this
came from I was reading the book on
forgiveness and they had a lot of that
says forgive and grow let that go you
see your mind is you know you’re going
to a service station to get gas you
don’t go in there and just stop pumping
when you push the lever up it clears the
previous bill by the same token if you
want to begin to move you’ve got to
clear your mind of all the unnecessary
luggage and baggage that’s weighing us
down I couldn’t move I couldn’t think
about what am I going to do to get out
of this situation because I was so
concerned about what happened and what
he did to me and how bad it was I was
sold stuck in that I couldn’t even focus
on what I should have done feeling sorry
for myself and angry and none of that
was taking me anywhere so pretty soon I
I learned through effort made a
conscious deliberate determined effort I
had to let it go I had to forgive it let
it go and begin to focus on developing
myself and I say to you you’re gonna
have people to do things to you things
are going to happen to you and the most
important thing to do is to harness your
will and let it go and move so you can
grow so you can get on with your life it
doesn’t matter about what happens to you
what matters is what are you going to do
about it
what are you going to do now less how
long do you want to tell everybody at
the bus stop in anybody who would stand
and listen to you
how long you repeat the same thing over
and over and over and over and over
again how many times do we have to hear
that don’t go out telling people what
your story is everybody has a story
eighty percent don’t care and 20 percent
glad it’s you sometimes you think you
got some problem you hear somebody else
problem and the way that their problem
is real bad it make you feel good to let
chicken man aloud his tragedy to destroy
his life all of us have experienced some
tragedy if we haven’t we will and you
can either let it destroy your life or
you can build upon it you can permit it
to let you to let it hold you down or
you can decide I’m not going to let that
happen to me I’m bigger than this make a
declaration to yourself declare all-out
war that you’re going to get out of this
rut I don’t care how good you are until
I care how talented you are I don’t care
how much you work on yourself there are
some times when things aren’t going to
go right they just I’m not going to go
right there are times with anything that
can’t happen will happen Murphy’s Law
will be knocking at your door wow I
don’t know why that’s called life and
you have to deal with it sometimes your
life will be in a slump just like sports
some of the best shooters can’t hit
baskets different times and games they
get in a slump do they sit on the
sidelines and say you know gestured hit
a basket today no they continue to
execute I suggest to you that if you are
facing a challenge
don’t stop stay busy work your plan
continue to do those things that you
know that work for you after you have
evaluated yourself in the situation
continue to move stay busy stay busy
stay busy repeat out to me help somebody
and help yourself because what you give
is what you get find somebody that you
can help so you can forget about you for
a moment see sometimes the best thing to
do is to be sometimes you have to just
back up and go within yourself a bow and
arrow you you can’t take a bow and just
push it out an hour you just can’t push
the arrow out you have to pull it back
and then release it sometimes you have
to back up and go within and pray and
meditate and recharge your batteries go
away clear your head and then come back
and look at it from a different vantage
point don’t operate while you are under
the spell of the effect of what’s going
on next thing is that you’ve got to
activate the thinker in you don’t allow
your emotions to control you we are
emotional but you want to begin to
discipline your emotion if you don’t
discipline and contain your emotions
they will use you your mind goes on
automatic just like a god you know I
loved reading the book call has a man
take it by James Allen he uses the
analogy of the mind being like a garden
you know weeds don’t have to have any
encouragement to grow you don’t have to
water them they don’t have to get
sunshine they don’t have to have fur
ground they will grow through the cracks
of a sidewalk am i right but if you want
to grow orchids or roses or any kind of
exotic flowers there are special
processes and procedures you must go
through we’re by the same token you
don’t have to force yourself or motivate
yourself to think negatively to be
depressed to hate somebody to want
revenge you want to get back at somebody
to beat yourself up over the head to
feel loaded with guilt you
to make any effort to do that your mind
is on automatic it will do that by
itself but if you want to begin to move
into your own personal greatness if you
want to begin to really enjoy a happy
successful healthy life you’ve got to be
willing to go against the tide you’ve
got to be willing to harness your will
and say in spite of this I’m in control
here I’m not gonna let this get me down
I’m not gonna let this destroy me I’m
coming back and I’ll be stronger and
better because of it you have got to
make a declaration this is what you
stand for you’re standing up for your
dreams you’re standing up for peace of
mind you’re standing up for health you
want it and you’re gonna go all out to
have it it’s not going to be easy when
you want to change it’s not easy if it
were in fact easy everybody to do it but
if you’re serious you’re go all out yes
I’m going to turn this situation around
I’m not gonna sit back and moan and cry
over what happened and what went wrong
and who did what I’m going to do
something about this situation the next
thing that is important is that expect
things to get better for you because
they are their life is cyclic you’re not
what is it whatever experience you’re
having right now it has not come to stay
it has come to pass not to stay just to
pass it’s just going through the biggest
challenge is is to know what’s happening
this is a part of this thing we call
life this too shall pass and maintaining
perspective putting it in perspective I
was doing a training at a college and it
was a two-day training during
orientation and in the training that I
provide I’m a motivational speaker but I
conduct processes and personal dynamics
where people began to go through changes
that stimulate the right and left
hemisphere of the brain enable them to
see themselves differently I conducted
this particular simulation with each
young kids 17 and 18
years of age so that they would begin to
see how they make decisions and how they
would survive in this particular
simulation process we gave them we had
them to do it individually and then
collectively over 30% of them wrote down
as their first option in order to
survive they would commit suicide first
thing they wrote down suicide among
young people has increased 300% over
5,000 will successfully take their lives
this year why why did he do that very
fast I was so shocked I said what do you
mean well at least we would not suffer
and then they had the nerve to write
down all of the other things they were
going to do after they committed suicide
I say listen could Dumbo
now when you when you come up with a
permanent solution for a temporary
problem
that’s it games over that’s it you’re
not going to do anything anybody wrote
suicide at the top you can put your
pencil down see a lot of us because of
our limited vision of ourselves a lot of
us who begin to focus on problems and
enable them to overwhelm us we begin to
think that we have no options we begin
to believe that there’s no way out
repeat after me there’s always a way
where there’s a will there’s a way
shake somebody’s hand on your right or
left and say I’m unstoppable
you’ve got to make those kind of
declarations to yourself I’m unstoppable
this will not get me down and if I get
knocked down I’m gonna be like um leopa
Scott you said you’re gonna have some
low moments in life but when you do you
will have high lows when you work on
yourself what are some of those things
that you can do during this period of
time go for walks do some things for you
just go for a stroll so you can engage
in some reflective thinking on life on
yourself looking and enjoying the
universe smelling the roses along the
way listen to upbeat music music that
inspired you I have Olli but goodies I
have strategies that I engage in to
recharge my batteries I’m preparing for
that because I know things are going to
happen that I cannot anticipate very
good friend of mine died the other day I
had a program for myself I have books
that I read that inspire me tapes that I
listen to that fire me up because you’re
gonna have sometimes little moments when
you won’t want to get out of bed you
just want to stay there the times you
won’t want to come out the house the
times you’ll be feeling bad and don’t
know why what’s wrong I don’t know just
what happen I don’t know
it’s called life the other thing is take
full responsibility for your life except
where you are and the responsibility
that you’re going to take yourself where
you want to go so once that we have two
primary choices in life
we can either accept conditions as they
exist or we can take the responsibility
to change them see a lot of people want
to exempt themselves from taking
responsibility all they want to do is
talk about the problem every time you
see them they’ll tell you their story
over and over and over and over again no
no you want to take responsibility for
your life
I got me here I can get me out of this
and I’m getting out I’m not going to be
a volunteer victim George Bernard Shaw
said there are two kinds of people in
life you know he said those that make
things happen those that watch things
happen and those that don’t know what
happened and he said the people to get
alone in this life look around for the
circumstances that they want and if they
can’t find them they make up they create
them so part of beginning to get unstuck
you’ve got to decide that the behavior
pattern that you have adopted doesn’t
work for you you’ve got to change your
strategies and changing your strategy
means reinventing your life recreating
you and you have the power to do that
you can decide that you’re going to
change that you’re not going to be a
you can decide that you’re going to
stand up to life
you can decide that I’m gonna live each
day as if it were my last you can you
have the power to make that decision
you can decide I’m gonna work on myself
and develop myself I’m going to empower
me and all of these things that are
happening to me right now
they’re just temporary inconveniences
they’re not stronger than I am I’m in
charge here
next thing is separate what you do from
who you are that’s what the guilt trap
is about see a lot of folks won’t let
you forget what you used to do or what
you have done what mistakes you’ve made
all of us have made some mistakes in
life all of us have done some things
that if we had them to do over again we
wouldn’t do it again
a lot of things that if I had it to do
over again if I knew then what I know
now I would have done it differently
well it did happen that way and that’s
what you call life I didn’t do it like
that oh you don’t want me to live that
down how you want to keep on putting
that in my face about what I did guess
that’s what I did fit won’t do it today
so you’re picking on an innocent man
so as you in the process of reinventing
your life write a description of the
kind of person that you want to be one
of the things that you must overcome
what qualities about your personality
you know that you’re going to have to
change because those particular
characteristics are liabilities to you
what are you assets what are you strong
points look at and evaluating yourself
to make that determination other thing
is that in order to get out of a rut we
need some coaching find some trusted
critics people that you know care about
you love you some things that keeps us
from growing and getting out of ruts
number one we identify with feedback we
take it personal when someone want to
give us some feedback on where we are
falling short you tell us about our
blind spots we want to have everything
being positive about us we’re not
perfect it’s it hurts I have a friend
who was a trusted critic I don’t like
him but I love him he doesn’t tell me
the things I want to hear he tell me
what I need to hear so I can grow it
hurts it hurts when he put me on the hot
seat I can’t stand it
but that’s the only way that I can grow
and I’m glad that he loves me enough to
risk our friendship to tell me what I
need to hear not what I want to hear get
a support group somebody that you can
talk to people who perhaps might have a
similar problem support groups are very
powerful that you can share some of the
challenges that you’re going through and
it might be a situation where one person
can give you an idea of how they handle
that situation and create an opening for
you begin to stimulate some
possibilities in your mind on how you
can resolve the problem we can’t grow by
ourselves as I mentioned before we grow
from people and projects the other thing
is about life when things happen to you
when you permit things to use you you
can’t change the past but you can
interpret you can reinterpret how you
see it for years I was going around with
a heavy load on my shoulders feeling bad
because I was adopted doing interviews
for adoption agencies in foster homes
and I was on television once and I told
these people in this particular
interview that I was given away my twin
brother and I when we were six weeks of
age friend of mine fortunately was
listening to the program and she said
les like to have lunch with you and so I
went over to see her she said when a
woman cares a baby for nine months
feeling that life movement in her it’s
automatic and natural for her to learn
to love that baby to expect it to come
here when she bares to pain to bring it
into the world
your mother Mamie Brown when she came in
to adopt you guys she didn’t go through
that process she looked at whoever your
biological mother was and said I’ll take
her you are giving away less you were
same circumstances same event but
reinterpreted an interpretation that
empowers me am I making sense to you
so when you begin to look at your past
give an interpretation that empowers you
that’s where it used to be that’s not
where I am now I’m growing now I want
you to think about in your mind right
now think about some particular event or
act in your life that you feel very bad
about but you really regret that that
took place if you had to do over again
you would do it differently with that
there I want you to see yourself in your
mind’s eye and say to yourself I love
myself unconditionally and I forgive
I want you to think about somebody that
that cost you some pain cost you some
disappointment somebody that you don’t
like let me tell you something about the
mind how it uses you tell you something
super stupid that I’d used to do do you
know for years I hated my mother and my
father whoever they were because they
gave me away as I thought at that point
in time and guess what
I didn’t have any faces for the hatred
because I never saw either one of them
and I said I hate them for that and then
once I forgave them and said it’s okay
had they not given me away I would have
never been blessed to have the mother
that I have who to me is the greatest
mother in the world so the universe and
but when I went through this process
saying forgive them I remember in my
mind as I was trying to picture these
people I had two individuals in my mind
standing there with no faces because I
didn’t know how they look but I released
that I let that luggage go think about
somebody that you’ve heard somebody that
you’ve disappointed either deliberately
or inadvertently or someone that has
hurt you
deliberately or inadvertently think
about them somebody that that you really
really when you think about them this
the room turns red look at them in your
forgive you unconditionally for that’s a
heavy load to let off when I thought
about that guy I said wait a minute
I can’t no no you don’t know what this
guy did this was my mama you don’t know
what we went through my students said
les forgive let it go if you want to be
forgiven you better forgive somebody
none of us are perfect all of us have
made some mistakes and it wasn’t easy
it’s not easy forgiving am i right it’s
not everybody won’t forgive they say I
forgive but I don’t forget now
[Laughter]
let it go so you can grow let’s get a
little demonstration here throw it up to
everyone on this side here right
demonstrate it like this let’s go I
throw away negative thoughts revenge
guilt
anything that’s been holding me back
now with that right hand let’s bring
something in bring in love peace of mind
good relationships whole lot of money
I don’t know why people raise their
voices always they hold out of that I
mean they get serious too you know they
they usually people are you run it they
use two hands it
reinterpreting our past understanding
and knowing that we can move from where
we are that we can begin to design the
kind of life that empowers us that gives
us happiness that enable us to be on top
of who we are knowing that as we begin
to explore new horizons and new vistas
in life that as we begin to to focus on
developing ourselves as we begin to
elevate ourselves and not to follow the
crowd activating the thinker in us in
this disciplining and putting on hold
the emotional part of ourselves it’s not
easy but through practice and practice
and practice practice makes what
absolutely not dismantle that belief
system
practice makes improvement you can
always better your best you can always
go beyond anything that you have ever
done you never hit a state of perfection
you’re always bigger than what you do
and so all you’re looking for new
breakthroughs through practice and
practice and practice you’ll get better
and better and better and there’s still
some things that will happen to you that
will catch you on the blindside that you
did not anticipate you’ll get knocked
you’ll be able to get to your feet again
be on the ropes but you have a fast recovery rate when you work on yourself
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