Advice From The Most Successful People EVER | Motivation Archive | Volume 4

impossible is not a fact it’s an opinion
when someone tells me it’s impossible
I always just looking anybody around me
knows that they can’t do this that’s
part of it but if they didn’t know me
it’s your opinion they’ll say no science
shows and I say yeah I know how many
times the scientist shows something’s
impossible now science shows it’s
possible things are impossible till
somebody does it and so I find that you
know most of your business people you
look at businesses and what does it take
to make a business grow it’s not
impossible like a business grow this has
been shrinking for a long time or it’s
been stuck the real problem is always
the chokehold as always the psychology
and the skills of the leader always an
80% of that as psychology and 20% of the
mechanics like if you don’t know how to
read your financials and you’re trying
to fly the plane of your your company I
mean come on you know if all you do is
go down and you look at profit loss and
you see what it is and you have a beer
either way you either celebrated at the
brass you know something you know you’re
gonna be in trouble right but if you
have the skill sets that’s one thing but
you can get any skill set at the other
psychology and anytime a business is not
growing it is not because it’s
impossible it’s because they aren’t
innovating and they’re not innovating
because they’re believing it’s
impossible I mean if we all know what
does it take to transform an obviously
health people it takes three things to
create a breakthrough in anything and
your personal life in your business
anywhere you need a strategy but that’s
not the first place you should look and
it’s the first place all of us look me
too it’s our inherent thing you want to
lose weight well how do I do it I’m
gonna grow my business how do I do it
it’s it’s instinctively been trained to
think that way but the problem is the
how-to is usually not that complex I’m
gonna come on seventy percent of
America’s what seventy-five percent of
America now is overweight is that
because it’s so complex how to be fit
and strong right you know only the 1%
know the answer is they hide it from you
you have to work your ass off to not
hear what it takes right
and so so you know I remember I went to
this I went to a TED med center and I
watched about 12 doctors won’t have to
get up and do these stories about how we
could just get patients to take their
medications and try to figure out the
whole thing and I was just looking and
going you’re all talking about strategy
you’ve forgotten psychology because
strategies wonder if I’m a strategist of
my whole life figure out strategy is we
both know a strategy could save you a
decade right and doesn’t the strategy
could save you you know it could make it
interesting success and failure but most
people have strategies available or they
could get them or you could create them
but the problem is you got a story and
your story is why it isn’t working and
the story is
I’ve tried what but everything if you
tried everything you’d be fit you tried
everything you’d be profitable if you
tried everything you’d be there but
people said you know I’m big-boned
that’s what I used to say I’m still
big-boned but I’m 38 pounds lighter than
I was 25 years ago and I’ve never gained
it back right I was big-boned that was
my story all the good ones are gone
that’s why I’m not in a relationship or
they’re gay and I’m not or in-game they
are whatever the story is there’s always
a story and when I tell people’s you
know if you can just divorce the story
of your limitation and marry the truth
of your unlimited capacity then the
whole game changes I wasn’t born
entrepreneur that’s right exited my
mother’s womb when I was eight years old
I was delivering papers door-to-door
knocking on doors expanding the paper
route when I was 12 years old I was
shoveling driveways after snowstorms in
New York maybe 20 bucks a driveway after
a big snowstorm I hit it big for the
first time when I was 16 selling Isis on
the beach blanket – blanket the blanket
night by that’s how it started after
that I was hiring people to come working
a little I’d twelve year old kids
selling puka shell necklaces for him and
mother was buttering bagels in the
morning and that was really the way I
always was was you know moving towards
life yeah I was just you know always
wanted to make weight if you want a
business and I will sue mal OTT of your
viewers our business owners are for
getting started in business remember how
good you are in business think about
this the one universal rule that idiots
in finance know is diversification it’s
the only free lunch you got a diversify
because if you put all your eggs in one
basket no matter how
the basket is one day that real estate
market that stock market that bond
market that collectibles market whatever
you invest in right now you showed me
statistically it’ll drop 50 to 70% on a
day now if you’re later in life and that
happens it’s over for you
so you have to diversify yet most people
they know real estate so they do it or
they know stocks they do it or they grew
up with the hand their parents flipping
things it’s the wrong thing to do so
you’ve got to diversify in order for you
to be able to truly succeed and that’s
why when you want a business yeah if you
put all your money in your business
which is what most of us do naturally
yeah you put all your eggs in one basket
there’s things that can happen I mean
you know you’re let’s say you spend 20
years and you figured out how to put
together the ultimate map you know and
remember Garmin came out with this thing
called the TomTom and over the number
you see on your left remember that yeah
I just put on your damn cost a hundred
bucks it was a breakthrough they’re
making like design or something oh yeah
yeah six months later what happened the
iPhone came out we have two laps came
out with it put Google Maps with their
own map on here and guess how much zero
what’s it gonna do to your business when
someone takes your product deserving
gives away for free so I always tell
people competition happens technology
happens what you must do is have a
second business we know with no moving
parts no people no time maybe it takes
you two to three days a year for two or
three hours after you’ve read the book
you put it in place and you measure it
two or three times a year that’s it yeah
go on with your life now those are
trouble in your business you’re
financially set I in my life have
thirty-one companies now we have you
know what do we have 1200 employees
seven different industries we have five
billion in sales I mean that used to be
you know me and my seminar business it’s
grown geometrically but with all those
moving parts the only way I’ve been able
to succeed is because I’ve taken
everyone those businesses that I’ve
diversified my assets so that when
things were in trouble I still have
enough economics figure myself and keep
the business going so everybody needs to
create a money machine that works while
you sleep
that does
moving parts and that’s what this is
really about enough like living by
somebody else’s rules is a humongous
mistake I just literally sat down with
five people under the age of 27 and it’s
so refreshing it is so refreshing if you
have not jumped on the bandwagon of
doing exactly what the you want to do
which is skiing for the next three years
or working at a job that’s not what your
parents want or what society wants this
video is just called enough enough make
this little in one two minute video
depends on when I finish the piece of
content that gets you to stand up and
take life by its throat do something
stop being scared
stop letting the way you were raised the
fear as an offense take that away let me
be the person I’ll take the blame
I loved that some of my employees are
like my parents don’t love what you’re
saying good parents because if you are
playing defense and if you are living a
life where your kids lives are the way
you’re being fulfilled
you’re losing parents and so enough
enough parents imposing their way you
want your kids to be happy on your terms
enough the kid that’s sitting right now
in a desk and saw this in a feed and you
hate your job
I’m not stand up get the fuck out of
here and do you live your life you’ve
got one life do something about it those
people have a belief about what their
real potential isn’t matter what you
tell them and that affects how much
action they take and of course that
affects the result and then ironically
that result reinforces their belief and
then the belief that’s it so I’ll give
an example let’s say a person has
unlimited potential we all agree but
they take little action little results
why because they have to start with a
problem with their belief they don’t
believe it’s really gonna happen for me
maybe for Frank Kearns because it got
the cool hair and stuff or maybe it’s
for you because you’re so driven but
it’s not me maybe Tony Robbins cuz he’s
a freak up these big teeth whatever
their fuck is right they got this thing
right but what happens is if you believe
that there’s very little potential how
much action you’re gonna take and when
you take a little potential with a
little action
what kind of results you got lousy
little results when you had little
results what does that do to your belief
you go see I told you this was a waste
of time soldier this wouldn’t work and
then what happens you tap even less
potentially take even less actually give
you the worst results and your belief
gets even weaker and this sucker feeds
on itself until you are in a downward
spiral poisonous it’s poisonous and it’s
self-fulfilling
now what if something could happen that
could come along and fill you with a
sense of absolute certainty not like I
believe but mean well you know and you
guys this case mine as well we knew
because we had to because we burned the
boats there was no other option we had
to find a way we had we weren’t gonna
live that way
we all did it in different ways and for
different reasons but in essence that
was it if you get yourself in a state of
certainty that this is gonna work I’m
gonna find the way and if this is work I
will make the way then you tap a lot
more potential than when you’re certain
your potential you take massive action
when you take massive action you really
believe in something you get great
results when you get great results your
brain goes see I told you I was a stud I
told you this thing would worked out now
you even stronger you have more
potential take greater action be results
that’s how you went from 300 bucks in a
week to twenty five hundred and five
days to a hundred thousand in a month to
a million bucks in a day same thing with
you and we get momentum so the rich get
richer the poor get poorer now some
people go out they go well I’m gonna
take a bunch of action all right I’m
gonna open this product we’re gonna try
it they’ll say to you I even did it but
it’s like the sales when it goes and
knocks on the door he knocks on a
hundred doors and says verbally his face
says it because he doesn’t believe it’s
gonna work
so his voice his body the execution is
so weak maybe if he talks 200 people
somebody’s gonna buy out of pity I’m
gonna win his kids to starve right but
he’s not gonna get the result so the
core difference in people is how do you
produce certain day when the world isn’t
giving it to you
you go out and try and you try in your
case you’re a hundred thousand a debt
enough ins working how do you keep
yourself going the way you did it the
way I did it the way you’re doing it we
mean I’ve done it consciously is we
didn’t change our potential that was
there and it wasn’t even taking more
action taking more action with beliefs
not gonna work it’s not gonna change
anything we got results in our head that
made us feel certain as if it had
already happened the reason people don’t
put
selves in a position to fail the reason
people aren’t patient is they value
other people’s opinions too much which
then dictates their behavior which then
gets into all of this Wise’s if you like
don’t hold on to it and with the thought
of in case it fails because you just
need to realize it’s your Scarlet Letter
literally the reason people are scared
always is the outside force having a
failing business and everyone’s like Oh
see you could never do or whatever the
cliche is right yeah it just doesn’t
matter you know why so that’s one piece
I mean if it didn’t succeed
what there’s such better people like
what I’m such a better person than other
people because I can build a business
that’s bullshit the trade-offs that you
would consider like you know we work our
asses off we do a lot of stuff but this
is what we had to sacrifice in order to
do it if you think it that way I think
if you think of it as a sacrifice
then you’re gonna build frustration and
resentment
I really don’t if you think it’s a
question shouldn’t do it I think the
challenge is that most people have this
illusion about life work balance that’s
you know if you’re gonna accomplish it
it’s what people are laughing cuz you
know it’s bull right what’s true is life
work integration so I was just in twenty
one country or seven countries
twenty-one days but who’s with me is my
family who’s with me as my friends and
I’ve done well enough to have a plane
and that rooms and all that kind of cool
stuff makes it but when I didn’t we
still we humped it together and
beginning days it was coach and dragging
ourselves around but I thought it was
great for my kids to have schooling but
I thought an education was more valuable
and traveling the earth was a part of
that but you know we’re in the middle of
this crazy schedule but we’re it’s not
work it’s a mission when it’s work it’s
that I was asked people I said how would
you describe what you do and people I
say because at work it’s a couriers
admission and most people of course say
it’s work and that’s exactly what is
this heavy if it’s you know if it’s your
career it gives you something more but
your mission it doesn’t wear you out it
brings energy to you it’s fulfilling and
if you can tie your mission in with the
people that you love it’s pretty cool
you know there some people assume
they’re my friends I see Dean here in
the front row here and it’s like we’re
all on this mission and we find time to
connect and be with
other and have a blast with each other
but we’re sharing about things that
matter I’m not a person to go to a party
and like you know go in the corner and
chitchat it’s like you want to talk
about something deep let’s rock you
don’t let me go home and be with my
family you know let me go do something
fun without some of that nature if you
can combine your mission with your
family combine your mission with some of
your friends then you’re gonna
accomplish a million times more but if
you think it’s a sacrifice don’t do it
because then all you’re doing is you’re
gonna have resentment later on or
frustration later on and and then you
really aren’t contributing because it’s
your you’re trading off you’re not
giving I love the passion to win the
problem is you tried to close on the
first move you brought them no value and
you asked them to bring you value like
you gave like I will stand up here and
give a load of value and never mention
one time for any of them to follow me
and a lot more of them will follow me
then they’re gonna follow that bull move
[Applause]
I get it I get it but this was back to
the question that just happened this is
why I want you to win that move is
always gonna lose you can’t go tonight
when you go out in Vegas and you see a
pretty girl at the bar you can’t go up
to her and the opening move is like
here’s my key let’s go but but that’s
what you just did let him hold it but
that’s what you just did to this
audience with business I mean because
doing the right thing is the right thing
karma is practical you know I’ve heard
somebody rant earlier right that’s like
hey when I win I don’t think it’s coming
out of you the guy that closed I
couldn’t know who was on stage but I
believe in that right because I love the
idea of 85 people here going and
listening to me winning I didn’t make
anything for it but it then becomes
brand if she goes out and listens and
then two years later she’s having dinner
with a friend and she’s talking about
what happened to her life that friend
might be the CEO of GE you know I’m
playing with the biggest brands in the
world I’m not trying to monetize my
audience I’m trying to like just bring
the most value in the world and let that
lift all my other opportunities so I
think I think giving away your best
secrets is the greatest strategy for two
reasons karma is practical and leads to
more business but here’s the secret and
it’s even funnier 99% of these people
the read somewhere about five or six
years ago I realized this fact Polish
people aren’t gonna do anything with
this so like there’s still gonna be
plenty for me and I’m gonna be the most
lovable guy ever I love this yo my dad
was an underground parking lot attendant
I have no business background but I had
this passion to help people and then I
was this artist like a lot of dentists
out there and I wanted to do this
beautiful work but I realized again boy
if I don’t wanna have a market and
innovate all these ideas are just gonna
die with me
and so I develop those skills and once I
learned how to do that how to be more
for a client than anybody else how to
add more about how to get obsessed about
everything you can do for these people
when you do that you don’t have
satisfied customer satisfied customers
go away you are breathing fans and
raving fans stay and reinvest tell
everybody else had really been to it
build your bandwidth grow you
so those things allowed me to grow in my
educational business and then I just
applied those to other businesses you
want born into a rich family you’re the
wrong skin tone you’re this you’re that
I get it but just leave got yeah we got
to get back
you got that you won the lotto you want
it you’ve got to get back do something
with it especially now your grandparents
didn’t have this the Internet is crazy
it just is it just is and so why do you
think everybody’s getting out in now
because the weak old white guys don’t
control the media anymore do you think
it’s happening here this is the greatest
era ever for anybody the market the
platform is the Internet this is
unbelievable unprecedented times we will
look back at this 200 years from now
like these had a good opportunity this
is buying realist do somebody bought the
land that we’re on right now for a
dollar at one point that’s what’s
happening with us on the Internet
the attention of the end consumer is
cheap right now you can grab it around
whatever you want to be about and it
doesn’t cost you anything other than
your time and so many of you are
complaining but then are too fancy to
put in the 15 hours a day to get it I
got no respect for that I got no respect
for anybody
planes and isn’t putting in the work
because it’s an excuse to not do their
is ridiculous confusion in the system I
am winning and will win at all-time
levels get ready you will tell your
grandkids that you once saw me live like
I mean that and by the way it’s not
because by the way I don’t by the way
real quick cuz I don’t want claps for
that I need you to understand how I
think about that it’s not because I
think I’m fancy or great I think it’s
because I’m very common simple about one
simple tiny thing underpriced the
tension it’s so grossly underpriced I’m
asking you let me tell you this story
about MTV when MTV came out in the early
to mid 80s how many people remember when
MTV was launched when empty when MTV was
launched the biggest bands in the world
the biggest bands in the world got
together for a dinner that one of their
managers told me about and decided that
they would not make music videos for MTV
because that was giving away music for
free that why would we spend money to
make a video put it on MTV but when
that’s giving people the music for free
and they will not go out and buy the
record at the same token up-and-coming
artists Madonna Duran Duran and on and
on understood that it was where all the
attention of the youth was and it was a
gateway drug to the sale they understood
Facebook and Instagram at this second is
the most underpriced scaled jab in the
history of marketing except for one
other moment from 2001 to 2005 Google
AdWords was a ridiculously under priced
jab how many people here took advantage
of Google 2001 to 2005 raise your hands
so for you you really know that’s how I
did it
Wine Library had no money but when
you’re buying people who want to buy
wine for five and ten cents
click it works out real fast when it’s
that underpriced one company one company
during that time acted the way I’m
aspiring to act right now as Gary
Vaynerchuk on social media one company
from 2001 to 2005 spent enough to
justify how underpriced it was that
company was a small book company called
Amazon Amazon as you all know now is the
company of our world it will win
everything it hasn’t even begun
literally the only thing that will stop
Amazon is antitrust government
involvement otherwise it will destroy
everything
it got its fuel from Google 2001 to 2005
that occurrence is happening right now
on Facebook and Instagram and we’re not
squeezing the juice out of that fruit
anywhere close at least we have picked
up the fruit I’m not gonna spend much
time on work and don’t look shocked it’s
not that I don’t think it’s tremendously
important because it is we’ve got to
accept responsibility we’ve got to
accept the fact that we’ve got to
perform and as I tell the kids all over
America today now is the best time
you’ll ever have in life to get ahead
now is the most opportune time in
America that it has ever been to get
ahead here’s what I say if you show up
for work on time and stay there until
the appointed departure time if you do
what they pay you to do and then they
pay you then
adios anybody anything now if you want
to raise get there a few minutes early
ask for extra things to do be cheerful
and positive and optimistic and helpful
don’t goof off and try to get out of
work deliberately seek the boss to find
extra work and then I will absolutely
guarantee you a raise in short order now
your current employer might not be the
one to give you the raise but somebody
down the streets going to see what
you’re doing and they’re gonna say if
that’s the boy I want working for me
that’s the girl I want working for me
because he or she are doing more than
they’re paid to do that’s the way you
get a raise oh don’t misunderstand you
got to work you you can’t be like this
old boy down home and you’re gonna find
out earlier an awful lot of old boys
down home somebody at least they’re
worth when I was down there somebody
asked him how long you’ve been working
for his accountant and he said ever
since they threatened to fire me
so that’s about the size of it yeah but
here’s what we’ve discovered if you got
a good self-image if you have your goals
set in life if you’ve got the right
mental attitude nobody has to tell you
go to work that just follows naturally
so this is what we’re going to work on
and you got to have a desire to succeed
you can’t just casually want the good
things in life it’s got to become a
passion for you your dream has got to be
more than just an idle thoughts you’ve
got to be willing to build a foundation
under it and that’s for sure
we’re going to be taking these steps and
quite honestly ladies and gentleman I
believe that these steps are what is
necessary but let me let me identify to
you what one of the major problems in
America is one of the problems as you
see we have said to people all of these
things are available we’ve shown in the
big homes the big cars the swimming
pools the jet set the you know that
style of living that a lot of people say
yeah I’d kind of like that then on the
other side
the ledger we have said everybody not
only can get these things but everybody
deserves these things America is a rich
and affluent land and everybody can get
them then we have another segment of
society that says that crime is caused
by poverty with one segment saying you
deserve these things and you ought to
have them and another segment saying
that crime is caused by poverty we
subliminally subconsciously plan a
thought don’t wait to get it go get it
right now there has never been a
definitive study that establishes any
correlation between crime and poverty
during the Great Depression the crime
rate was much lower in 1939 than it was
in 1930 1/10 of a decade of the roughest
depression our country has ever had so
what we’re saying is let’s start
climbing some steps you see we could
draw you an elevator to the top but I’d
have to be honest and say the elevator
doesn’t work you’re gonna have to start
taking these steps and you’re going to
have to take them one at a time but I’ve
discovered that people don’t mind taking
the steps if you tell them where they
are
show them how many of there are and then
tell them exactly how to climb the steps
but you see you gotta climb the steps
you can’t skip them on September the
15th 1944 in Jackson Mississippi at the
YWCA at exactly 18 minutes after 8
o’clock I saw the purchasing of about
the Nickelodeon now some of you will
know what a Nickelodeon is that’s a
jukebox ok and I thought to myself boy
what I’d really like to do is I’d like
to go over there and I’d like to grab
her in my arms and I’d like to start
hugging her and kissing her right now
that’s exactly what I wanted to do but
if I had she wouldn’t be sitting here as
my wife of over 30 years today because I
so I did something real original I
walked up to her and I said hi and she
said hi and the first thing you know
since it was a dance that we were little
YWCA dance and we were dancing and I got
a telephone number that night we had a
lot of telephone calls and and then one
day I said hey we ought to be going out
and she said okay so we had a date then
we had another one in another one and
then you know it wasn’t but 2 years and
2 months and 11 days and one hour later
that she became my very own but we took
some steps along the way I don’t care a
bright you are in school you cannot move
from 2 times 2 equals 4 into analytical
geometry you got to take some steps now
the mistake a lot of people make is they
get on one step and sit there you know
that’s not what I’m talking about either
what I’m talking about is taking these
steps and then you will get these
getting more and more intrigued by
mindset because I used to think of it as
fluffy like self-help and now I think it
more as strategy what’s your strategy in
life somebody asked me on Instagram
after I posted a scary if the mindset
has been skewed how can you bring it
back and I answered with by surrounding
yourself with people who have the
mindset you aspire to my friends please
understand that mindset is controllable
in the same way that all our opinions
are controllable the key is to add more
people with optimism and cut people with
negativity it’s very very simple now
it’s very hard to cut people with
pessimism cynicism and negativity when
they are the people that are the closest
to you parents siblings spouse but the
bottom line is if you’re asking the
question I’m gonna give you the answer
the answer is add more people with
positivity and optimism and cut people
with pessimism and cynicism who you
surround yourself matters what content
you consume matters I basically
suffocate myself for a long period of my
time and created an environment
that was based on offense and optimism
and now I know no different please do
the same for you make that move mold and
I mean mold your mindset by what you
consume and with whom you consume it
prove years ago Lara majors my executive
assistant got a phone call from a lady
in Birmingham Alabama and then of the
conversations he said Zig she said I
believe this woman thinks she’s got an
impossible problem but I believe you can
solve that problem her with her in just
a few minutes if you will spend that
time with her I said well Lori tell her
to meet me backstage I’ll get there
about 10 minutes early they my schedule
was such that was about all I had well I
got there and I was on the backstage
behind the curtain on one side she
spotted me from the other side and as
she walked across the stage I have never
seen as much anger in a human being in
my life as I saw in her she almost
started crying when she saw me she said
oh I’m just so glad to see you I got
this horrible job I hate it I hate
everything about it I hate everybody
down there I mean are you talking about
negative Mel’s she was it she said can
you help me you understand I’ve only got
about ten minutes so I looked at her and
one thing I have learned I don’t do
counseling but I talk with a lot of
people who do in psychologist psychiatry
and the ministry and they tell me that
everybody who comes to you with a
problem are not necessarily looking for
a solution I couldn’t understand that
for a long time why do they bring your
problems they don’t want to solve it
well I can tell you why they want to
tell you about it you about it you
better you about it you about and if you
foul up the deal and solve the problem
they can’t tell you again you again they
want the attention that goes with the
problem and every company just about it
has that kind of an individual they want
the attention that goes with griping and
complaining well I looked at the lady
and it wasn’t unkindly but firmly I said
there yes and you know ma’am I’m afraid
your problem it’s about to get worse she
said what do you mean I said I believe
she was stunned I couldn’t have done it
more if I’d hit her in the face with a
bucket of ice water
she said fire me why on earth would they
fire me inflection and her voice clearly
said they’re the bad guys I’m the good
guy
why don’t they fire them and keep me
have you ever noticed that people who
are the problem never recognize that
they are they’re in complete denial they
think denial is just a river in Egypt
why would they fire me I said ma’am I
don’t believe there’s a company in
America big enough to contain this much
poison in one small spot have you ever
noticed that when somebody’s about to
lose something they’ve been complaining
about whether it’s a car a home a mate a
job or whatever when all of a sudden it
appears they’re gonna lose them it takes
on brand-new value she looked at me and
said well what can I do I said do you
really want to know she said yes I do
that’s the reason I came to see you I
came looking for help but you sure
haven’t been in a hip so far I said well
ma’am I’ve got an idea and I will
absolutely guarantee you it positively
definitely absolutely will work if you
will just do it she said I’ll try
anything within reason I said okay when
you get home tonight all of your
household tasks are complete it’s
bedtime get off in a room right by
yourself get a sheet of paper out and at
the top of it right I like my job
because he interrupted me she said
that’ll be easy I don’t like nothing
about that job don’t like nothing about
those people down there and I said well
just as a matter of curiosity do you
work there for benevolent reasons or do
they pay you for working there she said
well I got to confess they pay me and I
said you don’t like to be paid oh she
said yes I do I said okay tell you what
you do open your notebook right now
we’ll start our list of the things you
like about your dog they pay you for
working there and you do like it don’t
you said absolutely but she just stood
there I said no open your notebook now
and we’ll get busy on the list he just
stood there I said ma’am let me let me
tell you what my experience in life has
been
I’ve discovered that in 100% of the case
there’s no exception people who won’t
take step number one never take step
number two you see she had come to me
with an impossible dream her dream was
that nice mr. Ziegler was going to solve
all of her problems and she would live
happily ever after but folks I Got News
for You I can’t solve her problems I
can’t solve your problems but I will
give you some steps that I’ll absolutely
definitely and positively will work for
you as it worked eventually for her I
said well ma’am let me tell you
something unless you’re willing to take
step number one right now it’s been nice
talking with you
she angrily opened her notebook before
we got through there were 22 things she
liked about her job now I wanted it not
only did they pay her for working there
that they paid her above average
she had three weeks vacation was paid
she had a retirement program she was a
non-profit Sharon
she had health insurance life insurance
and accident insurance
she lived less than ten minutes from
home she was in on management decisions
to come to senator three seminars a year
to be paid for chat her own private
office and party play twenty two things
that she liked about her job now I said
man when you get home tonight everything
is finished get off in a room right by
yourself
close the doors change one word from I
like my job to I love my job
get in front of that mirror and folks I
cannot say this strongly enough but I’m
gonna try the eyes are the windows of
the soul look yourself in that and with
excitement and enthusiasm say I love my
job because they pay me for working
there I love my job because they pay me
above average we’re working there I love
my job because they have a wonderful
insurance program I love my job before
every one of the statements you would
sleep better that night you see there’s
something hidden in what I’m saying to
you now when she says I like my jobs
it’s really saying I’m grateful for my
job
and of all of the emotions we can have
hands sell you the number one stretch
specialist in America the healthiest of
all human emotions is Greta to you I
said you go down that list I like my job
I love my job rather that is a way of
gratitude you’ll sleep better the first
night tomorrow morning when you get up
get back in front of the mirror just
before you go to work get back in front
of the mirror and repeat the process
again with excitement but in enthusiasm
I love my job because and take the list
with you because the reality is you see
you will have started to change from a
fault finder to a good finder some
people do really find fault like there’s
a reward for it they really do take the
list with you and you will be able to
add to that list absolutely guaranteed
do this every morning and every night
and you will have an astonishing
recovery from this advanced case of
stinking thinking now I didn’t say that
to her but I’m saying it to you that’s
what it was it was an advanced case of
stinking thinking what six weeks later I
was back in Birmingham Alabama I was
doing a follow up sales seminar now the
lady was not in sales but she had been
listening to my tapes he had been
listening to Automobile University and
she had discovered that everybody sells
everybody will ever hear this is in
selling whether you’re a schoolteacher a
civil service worker a military
personnel an executive secretary doesn’t
make it a difference what you do you
sell every day of your life there she
was on there at the sales seminar seated
on the front row grin as to why she
could have eaten a banana sideways I’m
telling you you’re talking about
somebody that was excited she was turned
on I said well how you doing
she grinned even more broadly and said
mr. Ziegler I’m doing wonderfully well
and thank you for asking
she said you cannot believe how much
those people down there have changed
I got a lid on the line folks you’re not
going to change anybody else did you
change you everything really does begin
with you now you see the unfortunate
thing this lady had been raised in a
very negative environment first her
parents had told her that should never
amount to anything they said you know
you’re always late you’re always sloppy
why can’t you be like your brother or
your sister or whatever when she got
married a husband and continued it and
so herself talk had become completely
negative
everything is he said about herself was
negative I you know like dad said I’ll
never amount to anything
like my husband says I can’t do anything
right but when she started changing the
what if I told you you’d die this week
would you complain about your crap job
or that test you don’t want to take I
doubt it you go much higher level
thinking well that’s really what it
takes it takes understanding that if
you’re not pumped right now if you’re
brunching what you’re about to do if
you’re if you’re not looking forward to
it look I respect practicality you got
to go through school because your
parents want to you got to pay your rent
you got student loans I get it
please recognize the world we’re living
in we’re living in a world where there’s
so much more opportunity this internet
thing created way more opportunity for
all of us way more I mean look you
wouldn’t even be alive like your mom and
dad could have had sex like three
minutes later and you wouldn’t even
and you’re completing a tree I just
don’t get the mentality of being head
down sad on a Monday morning I’m gonna
make Monday morning my I’m gonna make
you Saturday Monday morning that’s what
I want to do every morning and that’s
what I want from you please take a step
back and think about how awesome it
actually is and then recognize that you
can attack the world in a totally
different way because you are lucky
enough to be born during this era the
only thing you have to believe in right
now is that humans are capable of
learning that humans for whatever reason
nature has chosen to not endow us with a
whole bunch of like pre-programmed
things so for instance a baby horse a
fool I believe is how you say that when
they’re born they can already walk
literally boom they come out and they’re
walking and all as well because that’s
all hardwired into them but a horse is a
horse is a horse and they’re gonna stay
a horse and that’s that and you’re never
gonna find a horse reading Chaucer just
not gonna happen so that’s all those
decisions are pre-wired humans on the
other hand come out they cannot take
care of themselves they’re a lump of
flesh they basically know how to suckle
and that’s sort of the extent of it but
now humans have the ability to go in all
these crazy different directions and
they can learn to become an
astrophysicist they can learn to become
a carpenter a doctor or an astronaut
like the number of directions that
humans can go in is crazy the amount of
what was once known as junk DNA we now
know as epigenetic signaling the way
that we can respond in all these
different directions to our environment
to the things we choose to focus our
energies on is truly unique to humans as
is just absolutely astonishing so
understanding that that’s baked into the
human animal is the ability to learn and
go in any direction so once you realize
that humans are adaptation machines that
we can learn
anything now it’s like okay whatever you
want to do you can do it as long as
you’re willing to pay that price I’m not
saying that it’s not gonna be hard it is
gonna be very very hard I’m just saying
that it is doable and that you will
receive a return on investment in your
energies and that’s what people need to
know and believe to the core of their
being that my time in this direction
will be rewarded now here’s where people
themselves up there is this retarded
debate about whether or not it is hey am
i pre-programmed I’m good at math and so
that’s it then I should go do things
that are math or I’m good at verbal and
I should go do things that are verbal
I’m naturally gifted as an athlete so I
should go be an athlete look I’m not
saying people don’t get early wins
people get early wins and if you happen
to love the thing you’re getting early
wins and that’s awesome man and you will
find it just a little bit easier you’ve
got a head wind or a tail whip against
the tail with you have a tailwind and so
that yeah love that but if they’re the
thing that gives you the most energy in
life is something that you have no
natural inclinations for think’ll learn
that when I say that I have zero zero
natural ability as an entrepreneur I
mean zero I had to learn everything from
not being lazy to problem-solving to
overcoming my paralyzing fear to look at
world like a puzzle dealing with anxiety
literally it was comical as I was going
down my journey in the beginning as an
entrepreneur to figure this out it’s
ridiculous and then I meet people who
are like ripping flowers out of people’s
front yards and selling them back to
them like when I say that that was not
me I had a paper route and I was so
chicken to go up to people’s doors that
I actually only got half the money that
I could have gotten for the same paper
route the same amount of effort but
because I was so afraid to go knock on
people’s doors and ask to collect the
money that was do that for like two
years I did a paper out for half the
money okay that’s how spastic of an
entrepreneur I was when I started so you
can learn this stuff now my goals do
that I learned entrepreneurship so I
learned it so that’s what I want people
to understand what is your goal work
backwards from there if it lines up with
what you’re naturally good at that’s
amazing and congratulations but they’re
gonna be times where it doesn’t line up
and you’ve just got a either change your
goal or recognize that I’m gonna have to
figure these things out anymore and more
intrigued by mindset because I used to
think of it as fluffy like self-help and
now I think it moment more as strategy
what’s your strategy in life somebody
asked me on Instagram after I posted a
scary if the mindset has been skewed how
can you bring it back and I answered
with by surrounding yourself of people
who have the mindset you aspire to my
friends please understand that mindset
is controllable in the same way that all
our opinions are controllable the key is
to add more people with optimism and cut
people with negativity it’s very very
simple now it’s very hard to cut people
with pessimism cynicism and negativity
when they are the people that are the
closest to you parents siblings spouse
but the bottom line is if you’re asking
the question I’m gonna give you the
answer the answer is add more people
with positivity and optimism and cut
people with pessimism and cynicism who
you surround yourself matters what
content you consume matters I basically
suffocate myself for a long period of my
time and created an environment that was
based on offense and optimism and now I
know no different please do the same for
you make that move mold and I mean mold
your mindset by what you consume and
with whom you consume it I’m the kind of
person that believes you should always
make decisions with your heart and soul
you can use your brain for math you can
use your brain to look at the fine print
and a contract but when it comes to the
actual feel of the decision you always
want to go inward and check it against
your heart and soul how do you do
here’s the simple test does the decision
that you’re about to make expand you
expand your future or expand the
possibilities of your life if the answer
is yes then the decision is yes no
matter how terrifying it is if you
conversely look at the choice that you
have to make and the decision will
shrink you will silence you will inhibit
you in some way then the answer is no no
matter how easy the decision is no
matter how safe the decision is the
answer is no now one of the things I
want to point out that when you start to
use this does it expand or does it
shrink me does it open possibilities or
does it keep things closed does it raise
my voice or does it silence me right is
that there’s always a short-term and a
long-term impact to the decision the
short-term impact to making an expansive
decision a decision that’s based in your
heart your soul sometimes it’s
terrifying because sometimes it means
moving or it means changing a job or
changing a relationship or having a
difficult conversation or starting
something new and those sorts of things
are always uncomfortable so brace for
impact
put the force fields up but make the
decision anyway because the long term
impact of making a decision from your
heart and soul that is where the best
life comes from because you’re living
for what’s true for you not what’s safe
in the moment
and a situation where you can be in the
room with masters of a craft and that
could just be deal making it could be
joining a small company say a fewer than
50 people or you simply get to observe
one of the principles negotiating in an
industry that you don’t even care
anything about right it could be waste
management and you want to go into high
tech but if you sit in a room with
someone who’s an absolute pro at
crafting deals negotiating getting past
know those skills and maybe those
relationships start to snowball all
right and this is what scott adams the
creator and Dilbert would call systems
thinking so instead of being wedded to
the outcome of a given job you are
accumulating skills and relationships
that transcend that job okay and if you
choose your environments well because as
I’ve said before and as people like Drew
the CEO of Dropbox as a friend have said
you’re the average of the five people
you associate with most right so if you
take just a few years have the patience
a few years to really develop core
competencies that allow you to craft
your own reality and life negotiation
deal-making getting past know etc
learning how to pitch how to get
someone’s attention in 30 seconds so
that you can then create the desire and
ultimately ask for some type of action
once you develop those then you can
really just create the map for the next
decade in the next several decades so
that would be it it would be learned
before you earn and it’s never too late
to do that so I don’t care if you’re
coming out of college coming out of high
school
30 40 whatever it is Systems thinking
focus on the skills and relationships
first and then you can just create a
blank check for how much money you want
to make if that is your goal
so what you want to do and this this
Tony Robbins asked this question I think
it’s absolutely brilliant how is the
worst thing that ever happened to me
the best thing that ever happened to me
so in your circumstance how is being in
a chaotic home life the best thing ever
now I’ll give you one example off the
top of my head and this is exactly why I
play first-person shooters can you learn
to stay calm in the chaos because my
friend have the chills if you can do
that it will serve you so well in every
single area of your life in a
relationship in business if you want to
be an athlete if you want to play games
like what ever it is that you do one of
the things that you’re gonna have to
become great at is letting all of the
noise drift away into nothing and
getting into laser focus on that thing
that you’re working on now when I give
advice like that to people they think
well how do I practice the amazing news
is the best thing that has ever happened
to you is that you have a built-in way
to do that your home life is mass chaos
so now you get a chance to practice I
have the chills you get a chance to
practice every day tuning out the chaos
and getting laser focused on something
that’s framing now there are other ways
but that one is so powerful that I will
end it there focus on that it is
practice practice every day thank god
you’re living in this chaotic
environment man congratulations
whether it’s Jaco will Inc you mentioned
retired Navy SEAL commander used to be
in charge of all West Coast training for
the SEAL Teams which is intense highly
highly decorated where there’s Jocko
saying discipline equals freedom or you
look at say some of the writers or
musicians or directors or others in the
book across pretty much all of them you
find that they find freedom in
constraints so what does that mean
sounds kind of weird it also sounds very
sounds like an oxymoron Lynn
and what I mean by that is all of these
people have routines they have set
recipes that they repeat on a daily and
weekly basis so that they are not making
a lot of extraneous decisions about
mundane things and they also recognize
that we all have our lesser selves our
impulses I love chocolate croissants if
there were if I left my entire schedule
to whim I would just eat chocolate
croissants all day long I love them
they’re incredible and I still do have
them once a week I might sheet day and
I’m allowed to do what I want so I let
my monkey mind and my lesser self just
go nuts
but these people all have typically
these and these are folks we might be
inclined to think of as superheroes and
maybe Jacko’s is a pretty girl but the
vast majority have one or two strengths
and they might not even be the best of
the world but one or two strengths they
combine in a really unique way and they
build habits around those strengths and
then they have a thousand other
weaknesses but the habits and routines
are what helped them from going off the
rails and this is really encouraging
this should be really encouraging
because the people we see on magazine
covers that we might idolize and feel we
could never possibly emulate because
they have it all figured out
they’d have no insecurities they wake up
every morning and with a mental karate
chops they just master the day that’s
not how it works I know these people
almost everyone in this book certainly
on the podcast have become friends with
hundreds of these people not true they
have tons of not everyone I don’t speak
for everyone but tons of neuroses tons
of terrible self-defeating habits and
the safety that they create is habits
and routines that’s what jaakko in part
says discipline equals freedom ok so you
have trouble waking up in the morning no
problem you want to stage it this is
something Jocko does takes his clothing
prepares gets this sort of coffee ready
to brew clothing on the floor for the
workout right next to his bed prepared
the night before so there are no
decisions there are no opportunities to
make mistakes
between him openings eyes and jakka
working out and you find this across
everybody every single morning Monday
through Fridays at 9:00 a.m. I host a
live call-in radio show on Sirius
satellite radio it’s called make it
happen with Mel Robbins and the thing
that’s been so crazy about that show is
every single person that calls me on
that show they call in because they’re
feeling stuck in their lives and they’re
resigned about their ability to change
their lives and I’m not talking about
people that are nuts I’m talking about
successful people like you and me that
just somehow got stuck in their lives
and I’m not talking about people that
are looking for cheesy self-help I’m
talking about people that really want to
figure out how to move themselves
forward and you know I find that so many
of us think that our dreams are
unreachable or unrealistic and it’s just
so sad I mean people think that their
dreams disappear and if that’s what you
think congratulations you’re officially
stuck and the truth is that our dreams
are always there and they don’t ever
give up on us we give up on them but
here’s the secret if you just force
yourself and I mean force because I know
damn well none of you want to do
anything about this and I also know
you’re sitting there like yeah the
self-help crap this isn’t for me
but if you just force yourself to take a
couple small steps there’s always a
surprise I’m not gonna stare at it you
stare at your past and you’ll end up
staying there it’s okay to look back and
admire it but you carry on I’m not I’m
not in the business of staring staring
back at it you know what I mean I’m
getting lost back there it’s people say
you can people say a loss can make a
break a fighter but trust me a win can
also make a break a fire because they
get comfortable with it with a win
people can get comfortable with it with
a win and and and slack off their slack
off on the train and slack off on the
diet they’ve won one
they’re winners now that’s not me you
know you sleep on a you sleep on a win
and you’ll wake up with a loss so I’ll
just carry on keep doing what I’m doing
and that’s why these turnaround is so
good for me
Vegas straight away the Fighting Irish
head to the fighting capital it’s it’s
perfect continue on this path the
freight train straight to the top how
many times if you had somebody say to
your here if you got a minute Bob we got
a minute then one minute would you think
about that I read a poem one time I said
I have only just a minute only 60
seconds and it was forced upon me I
can’t refuse it I didn’t seek and I
didn’t choose it but it’s up to me to
use it I must suffer if I lose it give
it out if I abuse it it’s only a tiny
little minute but eternity is in it well
any rate I thought I’m gonna put this on
the video and I’m just gonna share it
with everybody just this one little part
out of the seminar I’m making I want you
to look at this Sam timer and let this I
want you to think about your life the
sand in the top of the glass represents
the future the sand and the bottom of
the glass represents the past now Genoa
we know what’s in the past and young we
can’t do anything about it
do you know what the trick is you don’t
know how much sands and the top of the
glass you may think you have a lot you
might only have a little then again you
may think you have a little that you
might have a lot when I was a little boy
I was raised by my grandmother and I
don’t know when I was little gaffer’s
she was probably 60 but as long as I can
remember grandma would say now soon
begun there I’ll soon be gone well you
know we loved her she was really an
angel of God but we thought she was
never gonna go she lived to be 94 for
30-some years I’ll soon be gone she
didn’t think she had much time left she
had 34 years left now about the same
time I had a buddy of mine Bob Yates he
was just 16 and bang he run into the
abutment of a bridge and his life was
snuffed out
if you had asked him a half hour before
how much sand he had left he would have
said at least a half a century didn’t
have a half an hour see the trick is we
don’t know how much sand we have left
the future we don’t know the past it’s
gone now the only thing you can deal
with is what’s right here right now and
if you look the sand is always moving
now think of this you see I was working
on that and then I was working on a
graph I’ve got here at my computer and
I’m thinking at the time somebody said
to him you got a minute
well they don’t really want a minute do
you know if you’re running fifty
thousand dollars a year a minutes 42
cents a half hour is $12.50 if we take
that ahead of it if you’re earning
$80,000 a year a minute 67 cents half
hours $20 if you’re earning $150,000 a
year
got a minute eat cushion dollar 25 a
minute a half hours $37.50 so if you see
if somebody said you want to stop for a
cup of coffee
well if you’re earning a quarter of a
million dollars a year a minute is two
dollars and eight cents half hours
$62.50 and then of course you’ve got the
coffee to pay for on top in fact so do
you see the point is this this is all
we’ve got right here right now we don’t
know how much we have left in the future
but we do know what we’ve got now and I
have found the people that win are the
people who make up their mind then I’m
gonna waste the minutes they’re gonna be
productive they’re gonna make it happen
every men failure is part of life I mean
the difference for me though is I like a
failure as a stepping stone to success
it’s a speed bump I know I’m gonna fail
but it’s not failure if you learn
something and so gosh I’ve made so many
mistakes I’ve screwed so many things up
but every time I do it just becomes it
becomes a way for me to explain to
someone else what it takes
you know it’s like here’s what I’ve done
I think I have the ability influence
people cuz I talk about my failures I
talk about all the things that mess me
up but I show people that didn’t want to
stop me and you only to stop you and I
think I think that’s really the secret
matter and if everything you touch was
successful relate to people as my own
and also its be total bullsh and
everyone know it’s cool and also you’d
be bored silly I mean think about it if
you just said I want this to happen I
want this to happen you know people
don’t value what they don’t fight for
you know it’s like you see kids
sometimes in it you know your parents
will say you’re not gonna value this if
you don’t work for it and you’re keeping
on value just give it to me but it’s
true you know about things we’ve worked
the hardest for we value the most so I
think you know the purpose of the goal
is not getting it anyway the purpose of
goal you know is what who you become who
you becomes gonna make you happier who’s
gonna make you sad so I’m not looking
for an effortless approach thank you so
superior and my knowledge is so positive
and so was until the crisis with the
for her I can see one see father knew
and you’re looking at mrs. Holly don’t
do
please don when you’re hurt and you want
a job making 60 70 pounds a week the
country it’s not known in his own
neighborhood Ali don’t do it but I’m in
such a high level until I don’t think
like you I’m not like you I know a say
you a mean the other person but you’re
not but you know why they say that it’s
for the best possible reasons they have
fear and they are wearing looks looks
dangerous to them that’s not really
they’re dangerous to me where most
people go they get into an endless loop
of self punishment which is totally
ineffective but if you don’t learn to
punish yourself you will never get where
you want to go now that needs to pale in
comparison to the amount of time that
you reward yourself they need to earn
that reward if you’re just lavishing
yourself with emotional praise and you
haven’t done anything then I think that
that will cheapen it it will ultimately
mean nothing and quite frankly I don’t
think you can really been boozled
yourself I don’t think if you try to
praise yourself for stupid I think some
part of you knows that you haven’t done
anything to deserve that praise but when
you set a bar and you meet that or
exceed that to then tell yourself hey
you did it you said you were gonna do it
you did it and that is worthy of praise
and getting good at praising yourself is
incredibly important and I think that
most people have a very hard time doing
both most people don’t know how to
effectively praise themselves they don’t
know how to get themselves first of all
to do things that are praiseworthy and
then when they do they don’t take the
time to emotionally reward themselves
meaning you actually to feel it it can’t
just be intellectual you’ve got to
actually feel that
and the same with punishment if you say
you’re gonna do something even if
nobody’s watching and you don’t do it
then you need to emotionally punish
yourself none of you will ever know
whether I actually get out of bed in 10
minutes or less or not but I say I do
all the time but every time I miss it
even if I miss it by seconds I just gave
myself two chills even if I miss it by
second
it’s I will punish myself for that
because I said I was gonna do it and I
didn’t do it so the fact that nobody’s
watching is utterly irrelevant to me it
has everything to do with myself now the
reason that this is important the reason
that I think that people need to do this
is because that’s how you shape your
behavior so like water over time can
greed create the Grand Canyon or you can
take a polishing rock and shape stones
you can shape your personality you can
certainly shape your identity and shape
your behaviors if you learn how to
reward and punish yourself I know a lot
of people don’t want to hear that that
is the truth of the human condition it’s
hard changing your life it was hard when
just over three years ago in the
Penobscot Building in Detroit Michigan
where I was operating my business and I
fell on some hard times and I was
sleeping in my office
it was hard coming into the lobby and
the security said scuse me mr. Brown can
we see you for a moment and I said yes
and I walked up to the counter and he
gave me an envelope and he said would
you mind reading it here and I open the
envelope and the envelope was from
management that says this is an office
tower it’s not a hotel please
do not sleep in your office and I said
excuse me sir I said I just worked long
hours and creating my business I’m an
entrepreneur and right now things are
bad for me but they’re not going to be
this way always and I just asked for the
opportunity to continue to operate like
I’m doing I’m not trying to make this my
home and it was hard coming through the
lobby and sometimes they would laugh
there’s a guy talking about becoming
successful and look at him he’s bathing
in the bathroom upstairs on the 21st
floor he sleeps on the floor him and two
other dreamers up there look at him
it was hard ladies and gentlemen coming
to speak to people
and I was facing financial difficulties
in my own life I was behind on my bills
and my dreams and I’m saying to them you
can live your dream it was hard ladies
and gentlemen it was very difficult to
pick myself up each day believing that I
can do it there were times that I
doubted myself and said God why why is
this happening to me I’m just trying to
take care of my children and my mother
I’m not trying to steal a Rob from
anybody how did this have to happen to
me it was very hard and here’s what I
want to say to you for those of you that
have experienced some hardships don’t
give up on your dream no one could have
convinced me by holding on by continuing
to push forward by continuing to run
toward my dream that one day I would
have my own talk show it’s a long shot
ladies and gentlemen from Liberty City
an abandoned building on the floor
never knowing my mother or father it’s a
long shot being here with you today in
this dome in Atlanta it’s a long shot
no college training labeled educable
mentally retarded but I kept running
think that there’s a certain delusional
quality that all successful people have
to have you have to believe that
something different than what has
happened for the last 52 million years
of history you have to believe that
something different can happen it’s
almost a kind of innocence absolutely in
other words if you knew how difficult it
was right you would have never gone down
that path absolutely no it’s always
somebody said to Olli no one can beat
this guy he’s this much stronger this
much bigger he’s got that much bigger
punch than you do and he believed that
he would have said never you gotta have
an innocent just somehow absolutely and
I think they dead that’s a huge part of
me because and I say to my friends all
the time and we laugh about it I truly
honestly as I sit here before you right
now as honestly as I can say it to you I
truly believe that I could be the
president if I wanted to and as bizarre
as that may sound to people that have
traveled the path before me and to
people who actually know how difficult
it is foolish Will Smith honestly
believes it’s very difficult to start
companies and quite painful I think
that’s important to bear in mind I don’t
if that’s that’s probably not
encouraging leave this way if you need
inspiring words don’t do it and I
believe and I learned very young from
parents from my parents absolutely that
you you don’t try to build a wall you
don’t set out to build a wall you don’t
say I’m gonna bake this build the
biggest baddest greatest wall that’s
ever been built you don’t start there
you say I’m gonna lay this brick as
perfectly as a brick can be
there will not be one brick on the face
of the earth that’s gonna be laid better
than this brick then I’m gonna lay in
this next ten minutes and you do that
every single day and soon you have a
wall and I think psychologically the
advantage that that gives me over over a
lot of people that I have been in
competition with in different situations
is it’s difficult to take the first step
when you look how big yeah the task is
the task is never huge to me it’s always
and but by that I mean just the
fundamentals of logic you know of do you
have the right axioms are they relevant
and are you making the right conclusions
based on those on those axioms that
that’s the essence of critical thinking
and yet it is amazing how often people
feel have to do that
I think wishful thinking is innate in
the human brain you you want things to
be the way you wish them to be in so you
tend to filter information that you
shouldn’t filter that’s the most common
flaw that I see this will be the biggest
upset since Sonny Liston and I think it
is befitting that I go out of boxing
just like I came in defeating a big bad
monster that nobody could destroy a hard
punch I’m the underdog if he hits me I’m
in trouble like the Sonny Liston fight
but I came back and I shook the world
and I got listed Nass ten years since
Sonny Liston I’m eating another big bad
strong bounce to knockout artist that
beats everybody Sonny Liston knocked out
Patterson twice and I was supposed to
fall but he did not me out because he
could hit hard but he couldn’t find them
yet George Foreman knocked out Ken
Norton knocked out Joe Frazier true I
didn’t knock him out but I’m so fast I’m
so hard he looks so scientific I’m a
totally different man from Frazier
Norton listen David when I meet this man
if you think the world was surprised
when Nixon resigned wait till I with
full moons behind
[Applause]
I’m telling you David I’m down with 215
pounds right now said he went to 15 I’m
five wait already I’ll use a train six
weeks for fight I’ve trained for months
or so I’m chopping trees I’ve done
something special I’ve wrestled with a
alligator
Tulsa will leave you totally I believe
you can hang out Tulsa what a whale out
of handcuffs lightning
though Thunder in jail now you know I’m
bad last week
I murdered a rock into the stone
hospitalized a brick I’m so mean I make
medicine sick as strangers change can be
there were times when it was hard to
imagine that my life would be what it is
today especially the time when my son
and I were living in that bathroom maybe
remember that scene in the movie there
was a highly polished sheet metal piece
over a sink it wasn’t a mirror but it
served as a mirror and I had to wash
myself in that baby every day watch my
baby in this sink and had to asked
myself some very predictable questions
what happened why did this happen
why did that happen but the most
difficult question I had to get through
was how did I get here
and the answer was even more brutal the
answer was I drove here I had something
to do with it you can’t change something
until you own it so if you’re 50-plus
and you’re sitting out there and
pointing fingers at other people you can
do that for a long time but it’s hard to
look at the mirror and saying how did I
get here and have the answer be I drove
here I had something to do with it it’s
uncomfortable to admit that well I made
some bad decisions I made some
investments I shouldn’t have made I had
something to do with it
well that man sold me that house for no
money down I should have told him what
he could do at that house huh when I
signed that adjustable rate mortgage we
all know these things only adjust
upwards no one’s ever gonna call you and
say guess what you go pay less for your
money your house next year angle happen
so the idea of I drove here is
empowering because the other side of it
is if I drove here that means I can
drive out of here
I have to own it in that bathroom I
finally had to understand what my mama
used to say to me where she would say
boy to Calvary is not coming ain’t no
back up I was 28 years old when that
part of my life happened change was
coming fast and you know what changes
everywhere all the time social change
technical logical change and the most
potent of all personal change the most
urgent question today is not so much as
one of my values and who are we the
urgent question on these times of
constant changes how exactly are you
going to navigate these new realities
put another way what are you going to do
it’s fascinates me about human beings
and it fascinates me about myself is
that we have such a high tolerance for
suckiness isn’t it crazy as long as the
suckiness as a routine but the second
you get thrown out of your routine or
the second that whether it’s because you
lose a job or somebody moves or somebody
dies or somebody breaks up with you or
you break like all of a sudden that
awakens the courage in you to make a
change because you you know either you
have no choice or now you got a problem
to solve you know but fighting that
inertia of life is the most difficult
thing in the world I ended up getting a
job with a law firm because it was the
path of least resistance in Boston in
Boston I hated it because I went from
being in the courtroom to writing briefs
all day and luckily I got pregnant with
our first daughter who just is starting
college which makes me feel so ancient I
just want to like punch myself in the
face if I have a 18 year old freshman in
college um thank you but I got pregnant
with her and when she was born I had
horrific postpartum depression Wow I
mean the really scary kind where you
can’t be alone with the baby
you’re on crazy meds that turn you at
not the kind you take recreationally
these are the kind that like turn you
into a zombie and it was a really scary
thing and I I when I kind of came out of
the eight-week trance of that I looked
up at Chris and said I’ve made a
decision and he said okay what would
that be and I said I don’t ever want to
answer the question what do you do for a
living with the response I’m a lawyer
and he said okay you realize we’ve just
bought this house and we have a kid and
we have mortgage to pay and he said so
here’s the deal you’ve got exactly four
weeks before your maternity leave is
over
you need to make $60,000 I don’t care
what you do for a living that’s your
problem go solve it and the night before
I was supposed to read so I networked
like a crazy person cuz again if you’re
a human being with a problem you’ll
solve it yeah and so if it matters
enough to you and so I got a job and
this was the first combo in Boston I got
a job the night before I was supposed to
go back the kind of person that believes
you should always make decisions with
your heart and soul you can use your
brain for math you can use your brain to
look at the fine print in a contract but
when it comes to the actual feel of the
decision you always want to go inward
and check it against your heart and soul
how do you do that here’s the simple
test does the decision that you’re about
to make expand you expand your future or
expand the possibilities of your life if
the answer is yes then the decision is
yes no matter how terrifying it is if
you conversely look at the choice that
you have to make and the decision will
shrink you will silence you will inhibit
you in some way then the answer is no no
matter how easy the decision is no
matter how safe the decision is the
answer is no now one of the things I
want to point out that when you start to
use this does it expand or does it
shrink me does it open possibilities or
does it keep things closed
does it raise my voice or does it
silence me right is that there’s always
a short-term and a long-term impact to
the decision the short-term impact to
making an expansive decision a decision
that’s based in your heart in your soul
sometimes it’s terrifying because
sometimes it means moving or it means
changing a job or changing a
relationship or having a difficult
conversation or starting something new
and those sorts of things are always
uncomfortable so brace for impact
put the force fields up but make the
decision anyway because the long-term
impact of making a decision from your
heart and soul that is where the best
life comes from because you’re living
for what’s true for you not what’s safe
in the moment I believe that passion is
another word for energy that’s it what
do you have energy for what energizes
you and that we naturally have a
tremendous amount of body wisdom about
that and that every one of us has an
internal fuel tank that is either empty
or full and if you’re empty you feel
depleted if you’re full you feel
energized and so if you simply are in
any situation I mean any situation and
you pay attention within five seconds –
does this person energize me do they
deplete me where are they in the scale
you just gain some tremendous wisdom and
you the simple way to start to figure
out who you are and what you want is
start aligning yourself with more things
that energize you so situationally if
you’re lying in bed and the snooze alarm
goes or the alarm goes off and you feel
depleted
and you start reaching for the snooze
button that’s a really big sign that you
need to get out of bed now being
depleted versus energized has nothing to
do with whether or not things are hard
or easy it has to do with what naturally
actually either expands you or shrinks
you and so if you look at your client
list and measure it depleted versus
energized what shrinks versus expands me
you have the actual map and when you
start to find the courage to make
decisions that energize you and that
expand you whether they’re scary or not
that’s when everything changes and so
that’s how I actually make business
decisions is this I don’t even like the
money conversation comes second it’s
does this deplete or energize me and if
it depletes me how do you move it in
that direction or how do I stay sane oh
if it energizes me how do I do more
because if you are energized or expanded
by something you will do it for no money
you will do it happily and you will
suddenly wake up and say oh my gosh like
my heart I’m pursuing my passion I
started to have these panic attacks and
I didn’t know what was wrong and I went
to see one of the like health people at
campus and they referred me to somebody
and the doctor said oh well you just
have anxiety and you’re having panic and
and then he said I think you should go
on Zoloft and then I had anxiety about
taking a drug because you know it might
change me heaven forbid
right yeah I’m so stable why would I
want to be change just like and that’s
the funny thing is that is that those of
us that struggle with these kinds of
things
we’re terrified of taking any kind of
medication because we’re afraid of not
being ourselves and yet the anxiety or
the depression
or whatever you struggle with is
actually keeping you from being yourself
the things I hear that’s the inker yeah
yeah and so I argued with him like a
lawyer for six months and then finally I
gave in and started taking Zoloft and it
was like a miracle when I took it it was
literally as if somebody had
a volume dial and turned it to zero and
that voice that would sound off in my
head on a loop that triggered all the
body sensations we’re going to talk a
lot about this tomorrow like the
difference between worry and how that
triggers anxiety and then the difference
between anxiety and panic and then how
you can utilize the tools that I’m
talking about to curb the worrying to
control the anxiety to stabilize the
panic and like really self monitor and
see I think that is the single greatest
skill that anybody could have the
ability to self monitor you could call
it mindset you could call it
self-awareness but truly to be so in
tune with yourself that in a nanosecond
you pick up when things are going south
with your thoughts feel stuck because
you’re waiting for some kind of external
force to either push you and pressure
you to change and to be great and to be
amazing or you’re waiting for somebody
to give you permission you’re either
sitting back because you need some sort
of external motivation from somebody
that’s gonna push you or praise you or
pressure you in order to change or some
life circumstance like maybe in your
past you’ve experienced trauma or you
face something really scary and that was
the thing that made you change and then
the second thing that people wait around
for is permission look those may or may
not come in your life if you are
somebody that is sitting around waiting
for some external force to come and do
the work for you that is such a losing
bet it’s unbelievable maybe you’ll get
lucky maybe somebody will come but more
than likely no one is coming
the only kind of force that will truly
create change in your life is you the
internal kind of force I hate to say it
but for those of you that feel really
really stuck and you keep thinking that
somebody’s got to pick me or somebody’s
gonna discover me or somebody’s got to
give me permission to write this book
it’s it’s ridiculous this is
is external versus internal force and
what you have to figure out if you’re
stuck is are you the kind of person that
is guilty of needing wanting and waiting
for external forces people an event some
outside force to kick you in the ass so
that you’ll finally do the stuff that
you’ve been dreaming about doing I want
to tell you something no one’s coming no
one the people in life that get what
they want are the ones that aren’t
waiting for an external force to
validate their dreams to inspire them to
give them permission it’s the people
that realize that success but happiness
that control it comes from the internal
force and what is the internal force
it’s you it’s you it’s you being able to
realize that no one’s going to do the
work for you it’s you realizing that
you’re never gonna feel ready
in fact even as you start working toward
the things that you really want to do
you’re definitely not going to feel
ready and you’re gonna feel outside your
comfort zone and that’s normal when you
start to feel like you’re stretching
yourself and you’re sticking your
scrawny neck out there and you’re taking
some risks that’s amazing cuz you’re
growing people have so many theories
about fear they talk about well I’m
afraid of success no I’m afraid of
failure I’m afraid of intimacy I’m
afraid of heights I’m afraid of this I’m
afraid of that I’m afraid of the other
thing there’s actually only two fears
and if you’re in sales which you are or
even if you’re not
life is about persuading people life is
about influencing people and fear is the
invisible force that will make you
ineffective at that it will stop you now
I love jakey Rollins is an example I
mean we all know the Harry Potter series
but what a lot of people don’t know
about her she talks a lot about fear she
struggled with major depression do you
know she was unemployed and she wrote
the original idea for Harry Potter on a
napkin while she was on state benefits
she was then rejected by 12 publishing
houses and this by the way was after she
was divorced bankrupt and a single mom
of a kid pushed herself pushed herself
pushed herself she talks a lot about
fear and about failure well you know we
know the moral of the story she just
kept going of course she was afraid but
she had the good kind of fear not the
bad kind of fear you don’t ever start
you stay trapped in your head and if you
feel paralyzed if you’ve been spinning
the same ideas over and over and over
again then you know what I’m talking
about you see many of you are thinking
way too Vic you’re attaching way too
much pressure on the things that you’re
interested in until you start blogging
about fashion you won’t even know if you
like it so thinking that you have a
dream about doing it and thinking that
you have this grand plan that you’re
gonna do it full-time it is a complete
and utter waste of your time to be
dreaming that big and let me tell you
why because oftentimes if you’re the
kind of person like Vicky that’s getting
trapped up here the bigness of what
you’re thinking about is what’s stopping
you what I want you to do if you’re in
Vicki’s situation is I want you to stop
dreaming and I want you to just start
doing small things I want you to go back
to curiosity and less into crushing your
big goals you think about life and
business and success is that you
to be willing to start and for people
that procrastinate starting is the
hardest part for people that worry for
people that think too big starting is
the hardest part folks that study
procrastination talk about the fact that
the only way to beat procrastination is
to create what they call a starting
ritual which is a way to push yourself
to get started because all the research
shows that if we can push you to get
started on something you’ll likely keep
going we spend a lot of time talking
about mindset from the standpoint of
think positive so positive things happen
and I do believe in having a positive
mindset obviously I think that the
actions that you take are way more
important in terms of developing that
mindset but we don’t spend enough time
on what you were just talking about
which is understanding how the automatic
nature of worrying about stuff all day
long how that is making you less money
how it is making you less happy how it
is disconnecting you from your spouse
how it is keeping you unhealthy and how
it is a habit that robs you of joy and
opportunity and power and it is one of
the easiest habits to break number one
your life happens in five-second windows
number two in five seconds you can
control what you think you can decide
what you’re going to do and you can
change absolutely anything which changes
absolutely everything and so the five
second rule is mind trick that’s all
that it is a fancy way to call it as a
you know it’s a form of metacognition
but it’s basically a hack it’s a cheat
code okay and the way that it works and
this is the challenge with getting it
out there is that it sounds so
profoundly stupid like a gimmick that it
took a while for people to actually take
it seriously thank you
and to really stack up the science to
make you know anybody that interacts
with it go holy Sh like this actually
works yeah so here’s what it is
basically the moment you catch yourself
hesitating or doubting or starting to
worry or about to chicken out or shrink
or shut up or whatever it is that you’re
about to do that is shrinking your power
you just go 5 4 3 2 1 you count
backwards 5 4 3 2 1
what happens when you do that don’t do
it out loud because it’ll scare somebody
it’s like going although you know we I
say it’s it’s so simple that people live
skit in the making I would love that
because that means I’ve really made it
through your kids will use it on you so
my kids will use it on me so if I have a
certain tone that comes out I’ll hear my
child will go 5 4 through watch that
tone mom you know just alright mom 5 4 3
2 1 I thought you’re gonna go to the gym
yes
so by counting backwards the the kind of
cheat code that you’re doing in your
mind is you are interrupting what are
called habit loops that get encoded in
the central part of your brain and you
are starting up the prefrontal cortex
it’s a little trick that causes focus
and it’s it’s a lot like having a mantra
because you’re shifting gears but the
thing about having a mantra is and I
suppose that as you count backwards more
and more and more you become used to it
but it becomes a habit that triggers
action so what you do is go 5 4 3 2 1
cut off this part of the brain awaken
this part of the brain and then move and
what happens with the counting backwards
is there’s nowhere to go after one and
your mind is socialized in a countdown
situation to go and so counting up won’t
work because you can keep going forever
and you do it in many aspects of your
life so it’s actually not something that requires any focus