what’s that believe nation it’s Evan my
one word is believe and I believe in you
I believe that you’ve got some insane
potential inside you that I want to see
burst out into the world to have a big
impact for you your family your
community and everybody around you so to
help you on your journey today I’m going
to look at seven ways to forgive
yourself and stop feeling guilty so one
of the things that holds a lot of
entrepreneurs back is they feel guilty
they made a mistake they let somebody
down they feel guilty they can’t forgive
themselves and that prevents them from
moving forward and doing other great
things with their life and them getting
stuck in that moment and so today I’m
going to share with you my seven tips on
how to forgive yourself and to keep
yourself from feeling guilty tip number
one is having honest conversation
chances are whatever mistake you made
there’s somebody else involved you’re
feeling guilty because you didn’t just
let yourself down you’re letting
somebody else down maybe it was a
customer maybe it was family member
maybe it was your spouse maybe it was a
friend there’s somebody else involved
here and you feel guilty that you let
them down that you failed that you
weren’t able to accomplish a thing that
you set out to accomplish and maybe you
or the money or maybe you know you just
really made a huge mistake with them
having an honest conversation with them
just to let them know how much it’s
impacting you how much is preventing you
from moving forward with your life how
much you still think about it and how
bad you feel about it one of two things
is gonna happen
one they’re gonna accept it they’re
gonna say don’t worry so much about that
you know I understand it was a risk it
didn’t work out you tried your best
don’t worry so much about it and they
may feel bad that it’s still weighing on
you and giving that permission to
release it and don’t worry about it
anymore
can be really helpful through the honest
conversation because a lot of times
people don’t realize how much it’s
actually weighing on you until you go up
and actually have that conversation the
other scenario is it doesn’t work out
the other scenario is like they’re still
upset at you they’re still pissed that
you did this thing to them and they
can’t forgive you for it that’s pop
that’s difficult especially when it’s
somebody close to you or somebody in
your family or really
friend my own mindset around that kind
of stuff is like you did your best
you had the honest conversation you
apologized you let them know that you
really try to make the situation right
you’ve done everything in your control
at that point like if people can’t
forgive it becomes their problem like
it’s on them you release it right you
feel bad that that happened but you
can’t keep living in that past moment
and you can’t let that prevent you from
moving forward with another project at
some point it’s not your problem anymore
it’s on them as long as you feel like
you did everything you could in the
moment to solve that problem and then
afterwards to apologize to try to fix it
you did your best or you’re working on
it right as long as you feel like you
tried your best at some point it’s their
problem and you need to be able to
release that from yourself you cannot
continue to judge yourself based of how
somebody else perceives you and I know
that that can that can weigh really
negatively on you to know that somebody
hates you or has these really negative
feelings towards you but you get to
choose how to react to that and for me
as long as I feel like I’ve really
really really really done my best I
can’t please everybody
but some people will feel like they are
let down and at some point it’s on them
now it’s not on you anymore so having
honest conversations will help open all
of that up for you tip number two is
recognize that you’re not alone one of
the things that really helped me and my
first business was realizing that I’m
not the first to try to go through this
before you know I thought
entrepreneurship was easy I thought you
have to you have a great idea you work
hard and things work out like all the
stories say and I realized that may not
like why am i sucking why is this so
hard well I’m putting in the effort it’s
not for lack of effort I’m grind you in
every single day and I’m not getting
results what’s happening and I was too
afraid to tell people about it too
afraid to ask for help I felt weak I
felt embarrassed I felt a shame that it
wasn’t working out and so what helped me
was just realizing that this is a lot of
people’s stories by modeling success if
you look at whoever you look up to
whoever whichever famous entrepreneur or
you know celebrity or whoever it is that
you look up to look at their store
you’ll see lots of these failures along
the way and the key thing that all these
people did was they forgave themselves
for those mistakes
they were allowed to move forward right
as long as they’re staying in the past
with this thing that happened that
didn’t work out then it prevents you
from moving forward and so just
realizing at least for me that I was not
alone that this is a common issue that
everybody fails everybody makes mistakes
and to get back up and go and try again
is what the most successful people do
and the people who don’t make it are the
ones that continue to live in the past
and get weighed down by this huge boat
anchor on top of them malee not success
and reading their stories really really
really made a big difference for me tip
number three is create an opposite
environment you are what you repeatedly
do you are the result of the people that
you hang out with and the environment
that’s around you if you are around
people who always make you feel guilty
then guess what you’re always gonna feel
guilty if you’re around people who make
you feel self-conscious and you’re
always gonna feel self-conscious and so
the way around it is you know you may
need to eliminate some people from your
life or at least limit your exposure to
them and their thinking and that can be
difficult I know if it’s friends close
friends and family members but you can
also supplement it and bring in goodness
change your environment create an
environment that is positive and
uplifting for you and so as an example
if you want to build confidence it’s not
just about reading articles and how to
be more confident it’s being around
confident people you’re watching
Illinois’s do an interview or Steve Jobs
do an interview or snoop dog do an
interview you know makes me more
confident not because of what they’re
saying you’ll never see a five steps to
be more confident by Elon Musk
but in watching how they respond the
questions and how they carry themselves
and how they act it’s just you can’t
help it but rub off on you and so if you
want to be more confident being around
confident people you know either in life
that you actually face and say hi to me
shake hands and hang out with or or
online or with with books and other
videos right like consume the content
that is the opposite of of what you’re
currently feeling and so if you’re
feeling guilt and you’re feeling shame
and you’re feeling really low self value
then consume content on a consistent
basis in your environment
from whoever resonates the most with you
if it’s on a spiritual side and it’s a
Dalai Lama if it’s more on the academic
side and you really love Bernie Brown if
you need somebody yelling at you and
telling you
to snap out of it and you go to Joe
Rogan or Eric Thomas right like
everybody’s pointing at the same message
they just have different ways of doing
it whichever one resonates the most with
you consuming that on a regular basis
will make you feel that emotion will
help transfer that looming and belief
and take it away from you and so if you
want to get over a guilt and shame then
I would start consuming content in my
environment on a regular basis where
people are talking about removing guilt
and shame and where people are not
feeling guilt and shame about themselves
because you will start to pick those
pieces and it’ll start to inject
themselves into your brain as well and
into your actions to change your
environment tip number four is get
started again it’s so incredible what
momentum does to a human being right
when you feel like a little bit of
momentum you can start getting excited
about something again you take one step
and then another step in another step
you know it’s not these giant steps
forward just the fact that you’re doing
something again can mean so much and I
see all the time here at TBS where salsa
students come in a lot of times people
come in
most people don’t come in trying to
become the world’s greatest salsa dancer
they come in because they’re lacking a
human connection or they broke up in a
relationship or you know they hate their
their job and they want something fun to
do or it’s on their bucket list of
things to try a lot of people come in a
place where they feel like life is just
kind of stuck you know like life doesn’t
suck it may suck for some but they just
feel stuck and they come here is
something new to try and by coming here
and having a great experience and they
come back the next time and in the next
time and the next time and you start to
see people come in now like all of a
sudden they’re smiling
don’t send they’re standing up more
straight all of a sudden they have more
confidence right I’m sitting there
they’re more chatty they’re talking to
people they’re making friends it’s
amazing how much a little bit of
momentum can do for you for your
self-esteem for your mood for your
ability to move forward and do things
where if you’re feeling guilt and shame
you’re just always living in that moment
right you have to let go of that moment
and the easiest way to do it for me at
least doesn’t just forget about it I
mean it may work for some people but for
me it’s like to start building small
steps like just I want to live now in
the present and I want to move forward I
want to stop living in the past
so do something that is exciting for you
whether it’s starting the business
whether it’s going out and hanging it
with friends whether it’s joining the
dance class
whether it’s starting your YouTube
channel like whatever it is that can get
a little bit of fire back into you you
start to see if I have a ripple effect
out on the rest of your life you know
people who join these salsa classes who
are stuck and then now they have a
little bit more confidence and a little
bit more jump a little bit more vibe
that ripples effect out right like now
they’re suddenly in a new relationship
with somebody now they’re getting
promoted at their job but now things are
happy you’re at home right like that
little bit of momentum can spark such a
big change across your entire life that
if you find something that you can get
excited about and it doesn’t have to be
the thing you do for us your life just
one thing that you just start to build a
little bit momentum so now we’re living
in the present I’m moving forward
instead of stuck in that past can make a
huge huge huge huge huge difference to
you not feeling guilty anymore
[Music]
tip number five is do the best you can
and whenever you’re doing if it’s
important to you you want to make sure
that you’ve done the best that you could
if you do your best and it doesn’t work
out you can deal with the failure like
the failure will staying it’ll hurt like
you didn’t get your goal that sucks but
you can move forward right you can stop
living in the past and go off to the
next thing but if you feel like you
didn’t give it your best if you feel
like you should have said a little bit
more you should have worked a little bit
harder you should have put in that extra
day you should have should have should
have should have a sum of you’re
living in that world it’s really really
really hard to forgive yourself
those were Brits will eat you alive for
the rest of your life and so there’s
something that you’re really committed
to you want to feel like you put in your
best and I’ve tried – after an
experience you know when I was 18 where
I regretted not doing something I’ve
used that as my filter for all future
decisions where I can deal with
something not working out but I can’t
deal with not knowing so as an example
earlier this year I took my team to go
see Tony Robbins in LA and I didn’t know
if he’d be good or not you know I know
Tony I didn’t expect it to suck but I’ve
consumed a lot of his content online and
I thought I just want to know you know I
didn’t want to wait like you wait till
next year do we till next year you wait
till five years of gum but like how if
you keep waiting for something else to
happen then you never do anything I
could deal with spending them
and it not working now like worst case
scenario is nobody got anything from it
it was a total waste of time
and we’re back home right I could deal
with that like the worst case scenario I
could deal with I couldn’t deal with not
knowing and if I’m being honest you know
the money that I spent did it help did I
get the ROI I don’t know
it wasn’t zero was it the full value I
don’t know maybe but I’m okay with it
because I know right like I found out I
know what it’s all about
I know if we’re gonna send somebody else
there I know what to expect and so
taking that approach in that whatever
mistakes you made in the past did you do
your best maybe not in the moment
because you can’t fix that now but did
you do your best now right back to the
point number one honest conversation did
you do your best to try to fix it did
you try to do your best to solve the
problems to anybody else who is affected
that you do your best to help them and
at some point where you say yes I’ve
done my best and you have to let it go
and move on or if you tried a project
and it didn’t work and you spent your
life savings working on it like what can
you do right now that is your absolute
best and if it doesn’t work the failure
is okay it’s not great but it’s okay you
did your best to be able to move on and
then try to take that approach for
everything that you do and so the next
thing that you do back to the last point
will build a momentum right the next
thing you’re trying next thing you do
and commit yourself to it do your best
the next time you’re thinking about
quitting something and you really want
to do if you’re thinking about quitting
and you feel like you haven’t done your
best you feel like there’s still a
little bit more gas in the tank you can
still go a couple more days you can
still push and prod it a couple other
things exhaust all opportunities to know
that if it doesn’t work out at least you
gave it your best because if you don’t
give it your best
you’re never gonna forgive yourself
[Music]
tip number six is project to 100 what I
try to do in these kinds of situations
is project my life out to a hundred and
think about if I continue to think this
way
what’s that collective experience gonna
be for me so if I can’t forgive myself
for what happened in the past and I feel
guilty about what happened the past and
it’s really impacting right now this
feeling I have right now is preventing
me from doing anything right it’s like
you’re stuck imagine the next five
decades of just still being here how
much that sucks
like do you want to be stuck for the
rest of your life because you made one
mistake and what I try to do is make the
future pain so big that whatever
immediate pain I have to solve the
problem feels tiny so having that honest
conversation maybe that’s your next step
but that’s scary
right like you got to go up and having
all this conversation with somebody and
talk about what happened and that that’s
gonna get your heart beating and you’re
nervous and you don’t want to do that
but the alternative is you live the rest
of your life with the guilt and the
shame and the feeling like you can’t
forgive yourself it’s easy on a
day-to-day basis to not feel that
strongly but if you try to accumulate
that out to age 100 every single day
feeling like the way you feel right now
I make that just so painful but then
whatever immediate thing I have to do
isn’t as scary it’s like if you’re if
you’re you know fingers hurting it
really hurts and then like somebody
punches you in the arm you don’t feel
the finger anymore because your arm
hurts so much that’s what you do to
yourself like I’ll do that to myself to
get me over whatever short term you need
to get pain or fear that I have and it
will allow me to have that honest
conversation so predict your life out to
100 like the rest of your life you’re
gonna be feeling like this do you want
that to happen no so fix it right
hopefully gives you enough of a drag the
more painful that experience is for you
the more you’ll motivate yourself to
actually make a change right now which
is what’s important
[Music]
and tip number seven is be a model for
your kids and this is for the parents
out there but also for the future
parents and future grandparents thinking
about what is the example you want to
set for the next generation like
whatever you did whatever big mistake
that you made that you can’t forgive
yourself for imagine if your kid did it
what message would you give them would
you want them to live the rest of their
life in this guilt and in the shame and
unable to forgive themselves what do you
think they’re gonna do if this is what
you do if this is how you react to
making those mistakes you live in guilt
and shame and can’t forgive yourself no
matter what you tell your kids they’re
gonna model your behavior they’re gonna
do the same thing that you did and so
until you can forgive yourself and get
over that then your kids won’t be able
to do it either so no matter what you
say to them say it’s okay don’t worry
about it forgive yourself if they see
you not able to forgive yourself then
they won’t have the courage to do it too
and so this one hits home particularly
me maybe because I have you know an
eight-year-old son and I want to be a
model for him and you know parents make
mistakes and there’s a ton of guilt that
happens and you’re always worried if
you’re doing the right thing or not but
any of the major things that I’m going
through I try to think about like what’s
the model I want to be for my son and
what’s the model I want to be for for my
grandkids as they come through because
no matter what I say they’re gonna pay
attention to what I do and how I act and
so if they see me being bold and
courageous then they will want to be
bold and courageous if they see me
shrinking down on being afraid and
worrying about judgments and fears and
guilt then they’re gonna do the same
thing they’re gonna feel like that’s
what they should be doing right we are a
product of our environment and so
thinking about how you can be a presence
in somebody else’s environment kids are
have the most like pulling the
heartstrings but it could also be your
friends and the people around you that
you want to pull people up you want to
be a model of success you want to be a
model of how to do things the right way
and I find at least for me that helps
pull me through to do the thing that
sometimes I’m afraid of I’m scared of
because if I was given advice to my son
on how to do it I would tell him to do
the right thing and so I need to model
that I need to actually do the right
thing instead of just talking about it
so those are my seven suggestions on how
to forgive yourself and overcome the
feeling of guilt I made this video
because Mauricio asked me to if there’s
a topic you’d like me to cover in a
you’re seven ways video check out the
link in the description go to that video
and cast your vote in the comments I’d
love to know which of the seven had the
biggest impact on you what change you’re
gonna make and immediately apply somehow
to your life for business and did I miss
an eight nine ten that you want to add
to the list please share your thoughts
leaving the comments below I’m really
looking forward to hearing what you have
to say I also want to give a quick chat
a to Tanya Tanya thank you so much for
picking up a copy of my book your one
word taking that awesome picture in your
kitchen and posting it to your online
accounts I really really really
appreciate the support and I’m so glad
that you enjoyed the book thank you guys
again for watching I believe in you I
hope you continue to believe in yourself
and whatever you’re one where it is much
love I’ll see you soon
[Music]
if you had to think of one word that’s
most important to you or that sums you
up or so it would be like a little
beacon pay believe nation if you want to
know what the most important one word is
for Tony Robbins Gary Vaynerchuk Oprah
Winfrey will.i.am and Howard Schultz I
have a very special secret video for you
check the description for details
one word is believe and I believe in you
I believe that you’ve got some insane
potential inside you that I want to see
burst out into the world to have a big
impact for you your family your
community and everybody around you so to
help you on your journey today I’m going
to look at seven ways to forgive
yourself and stop feeling guilty so one
of the things that holds a lot of
entrepreneurs back is they feel guilty
they made a mistake they let somebody
down they feel guilty they can’t forgive
themselves and that prevents them from
moving forward and doing other great
things with their life and them getting
stuck in that moment and so today I’m
going to share with you my seven tips on
how to forgive yourself and to keep
yourself from feeling guilty tip number
one is having honest conversation
chances are whatever mistake you made
there’s somebody else involved you’re
feeling guilty because you didn’t just
let yourself down you’re letting
somebody else down maybe it was a
customer maybe it was family member
maybe it was your spouse maybe it was a
friend there’s somebody else involved
here and you feel guilty that you let
them down that you failed that you
weren’t able to accomplish a thing that
you set out to accomplish and maybe you
or the money or maybe you know you just
really made a huge mistake with them
having an honest conversation with them
just to let them know how much it’s
impacting you how much is preventing you
from moving forward with your life how
much you still think about it and how
bad you feel about it one of two things
is gonna happen
one they’re gonna accept it they’re
gonna say don’t worry so much about that
you know I understand it was a risk it
didn’t work out you tried your best
don’t worry so much about it and they
may feel bad that it’s still weighing on
you and giving that permission to
release it and don’t worry about it
anymore
can be really helpful through the honest
conversation because a lot of times
people don’t realize how much it’s
actually weighing on you until you go up
and actually have that conversation the
other scenario is it doesn’t work out
the other scenario is like they’re still
upset at you they’re still pissed that
you did this thing to them and they
can’t forgive you for it that’s pop
that’s difficult especially when it’s
somebody close to you or somebody in
your family or really
friend my own mindset around that kind
of stuff is like you did your best
you had the honest conversation you
apologized you let them know that you
really try to make the situation right
you’ve done everything in your control
at that point like if people can’t
forgive it becomes their problem like
it’s on them you release it right you
feel bad that that happened but you
can’t keep living in that past moment
and you can’t let that prevent you from
moving forward with another project at
some point it’s not your problem anymore
it’s on them as long as you feel like
you did everything you could in the
moment to solve that problem and then
afterwards to apologize to try to fix it
you did your best or you’re working on
it right as long as you feel like you
tried your best at some point it’s their
problem and you need to be able to
release that from yourself you cannot
continue to judge yourself based of how
somebody else perceives you and I know
that that can that can weigh really
negatively on you to know that somebody
hates you or has these really negative
feelings towards you but you get to
choose how to react to that and for me
as long as I feel like I’ve really
really really really done my best I
can’t please everybody
but some people will feel like they are
let down and at some point it’s on them
now it’s not on you anymore so having
honest conversations will help open all
of that up for you tip number two is
recognize that you’re not alone one of
the things that really helped me and my
first business was realizing that I’m
not the first to try to go through this
before you know I thought
entrepreneurship was easy I thought you
have to you have a great idea you work
hard and things work out like all the
stories say and I realized that may not
like why am i sucking why is this so
hard well I’m putting in the effort it’s
not for lack of effort I’m grind you in
every single day and I’m not getting
results what’s happening and I was too
afraid to tell people about it too
afraid to ask for help I felt weak I
felt embarrassed I felt a shame that it
wasn’t working out and so what helped me
was just realizing that this is a lot of
people’s stories by modeling success if
you look at whoever you look up to
whoever whichever famous entrepreneur or
you know celebrity or whoever it is that
you look up to look at their store
you’ll see lots of these failures along
the way and the key thing that all these
people did was they forgave themselves
for those mistakes
they were allowed to move forward right
as long as they’re staying in the past
with this thing that happened that
didn’t work out then it prevents you
from moving forward and so just
realizing at least for me that I was not
alone that this is a common issue that
everybody fails everybody makes mistakes
and to get back up and go and try again
is what the most successful people do
and the people who don’t make it are the
ones that continue to live in the past
and get weighed down by this huge boat
anchor on top of them malee not success
and reading their stories really really
really made a big difference for me tip
number three is create an opposite
environment you are what you repeatedly
do you are the result of the people that
you hang out with and the environment
that’s around you if you are around
people who always make you feel guilty
then guess what you’re always gonna feel
guilty if you’re around people who make
you feel self-conscious and you’re
always gonna feel self-conscious and so
the way around it is you know you may
need to eliminate some people from your
life or at least limit your exposure to
them and their thinking and that can be
difficult I know if it’s friends close
friends and family members but you can
also supplement it and bring in goodness
change your environment create an
environment that is positive and
uplifting for you and so as an example
if you want to build confidence it’s not
just about reading articles and how to
be more confident it’s being around
confident people you’re watching
Illinois’s do an interview or Steve Jobs
do an interview or snoop dog do an
interview you know makes me more
confident not because of what they’re
saying you’ll never see a five steps to
be more confident by Elon Musk
but in watching how they respond the
questions and how they carry themselves
and how they act it’s just you can’t
help it but rub off on you and so if you
want to be more confident being around
confident people you know either in life
that you actually face and say hi to me
shake hands and hang out with or or
online or with with books and other
videos right like consume the content
that is the opposite of of what you’re
currently feeling and so if you’re
feeling guilt and you’re feeling shame
and you’re feeling really low self value
then consume content on a consistent
basis in your environment
from whoever resonates the most with you
if it’s on a spiritual side and it’s a
Dalai Lama if it’s more on the academic
side and you really love Bernie Brown if
you need somebody yelling at you and
telling you
to snap out of it and you go to Joe
Rogan or Eric Thomas right like
everybody’s pointing at the same message
they just have different ways of doing
it whichever one resonates the most with
you consuming that on a regular basis
will make you feel that emotion will
help transfer that looming and belief
and take it away from you and so if you
want to get over a guilt and shame then
I would start consuming content in my
environment on a regular basis where
people are talking about removing guilt
and shame and where people are not
feeling guilt and shame about themselves
because you will start to pick those
pieces and it’ll start to inject
themselves into your brain as well and
into your actions to change your
environment tip number four is get
started again it’s so incredible what
momentum does to a human being right
when you feel like a little bit of
momentum you can start getting excited
about something again you take one step
and then another step in another step
you know it’s not these giant steps
forward just the fact that you’re doing
something again can mean so much and I
see all the time here at TBS where salsa
students come in a lot of times people
come in
most people don’t come in trying to
become the world’s greatest salsa dancer
they come in because they’re lacking a
human connection or they broke up in a
relationship or you know they hate their
their job and they want something fun to
do or it’s on their bucket list of
things to try a lot of people come in a
place where they feel like life is just
kind of stuck you know like life doesn’t
suck it may suck for some but they just
feel stuck and they come here is
something new to try and by coming here
and having a great experience and they
come back the next time and in the next
time and the next time and you start to
see people come in now like all of a
sudden they’re smiling
don’t send they’re standing up more
straight all of a sudden they have more
confidence right I’m sitting there
they’re more chatty they’re talking to
people they’re making friends it’s
amazing how much a little bit of
momentum can do for you for your
self-esteem for your mood for your
ability to move forward and do things
where if you’re feeling guilt and shame
you’re just always living in that moment
right you have to let go of that moment
and the easiest way to do it for me at
least doesn’t just forget about it I
mean it may work for some people but for
me it’s like to start building small
steps like just I want to live now in
the present and I want to move forward I
want to stop living in the past
so do something that is exciting for you
whether it’s starting the business
whether it’s going out and hanging it
with friends whether it’s joining the
dance class
whether it’s starting your YouTube
channel like whatever it is that can get
a little bit of fire back into you you
start to see if I have a ripple effect
out on the rest of your life you know
people who join these salsa classes who
are stuck and then now they have a
little bit more confidence and a little
bit more jump a little bit more vibe
that ripples effect out right like now
they’re suddenly in a new relationship
with somebody now they’re getting
promoted at their job but now things are
happy you’re at home right like that
little bit of momentum can spark such a
big change across your entire life that
if you find something that you can get
excited about and it doesn’t have to be
the thing you do for us your life just
one thing that you just start to build a
little bit momentum so now we’re living
in the present I’m moving forward
instead of stuck in that past can make a
huge huge huge huge huge difference to
you not feeling guilty anymore
[Music]
tip number five is do the best you can
and whenever you’re doing if it’s
important to you you want to make sure
that you’ve done the best that you could
if you do your best and it doesn’t work
out you can deal with the failure like
the failure will staying it’ll hurt like
you didn’t get your goal that sucks but
you can move forward right you can stop
living in the past and go off to the
next thing but if you feel like you
didn’t give it your best if you feel
like you should have said a little bit
more you should have worked a little bit
harder you should have put in that extra
day you should have should have should
have should have a sum of you’re
living in that world it’s really really
really hard to forgive yourself
those were Brits will eat you alive for
the rest of your life and so there’s
something that you’re really committed
to you want to feel like you put in your
best and I’ve tried – after an
experience you know when I was 18 where
I regretted not doing something I’ve
used that as my filter for all future
decisions where I can deal with
something not working out but I can’t
deal with not knowing so as an example
earlier this year I took my team to go
see Tony Robbins in LA and I didn’t know
if he’d be good or not you know I know
Tony I didn’t expect it to suck but I’ve
consumed a lot of his content online and
I thought I just want to know you know I
didn’t want to wait like you wait till
next year do we till next year you wait
till five years of gum but like how if
you keep waiting for something else to
happen then you never do anything I
could deal with spending them
and it not working now like worst case
scenario is nobody got anything from it
it was a total waste of time
and we’re back home right I could deal
with that like the worst case scenario I
could deal with I couldn’t deal with not
knowing and if I’m being honest you know
the money that I spent did it help did I
get the ROI I don’t know
it wasn’t zero was it the full value I
don’t know maybe but I’m okay with it
because I know right like I found out I
know what it’s all about
I know if we’re gonna send somebody else
there I know what to expect and so
taking that approach in that whatever
mistakes you made in the past did you do
your best maybe not in the moment
because you can’t fix that now but did
you do your best now right back to the
point number one honest conversation did
you do your best to try to fix it did
you try to do your best to solve the
problems to anybody else who is affected
that you do your best to help them and
at some point where you say yes I’ve
done my best and you have to let it go
and move on or if you tried a project
and it didn’t work and you spent your
life savings working on it like what can
you do right now that is your absolute
best and if it doesn’t work the failure
is okay it’s not great but it’s okay you
did your best to be able to move on and
then try to take that approach for
everything that you do and so the next
thing that you do back to the last point
will build a momentum right the next
thing you’re trying next thing you do
and commit yourself to it do your best
the next time you’re thinking about
quitting something and you really want
to do if you’re thinking about quitting
and you feel like you haven’t done your
best you feel like there’s still a
little bit more gas in the tank you can
still go a couple more days you can
still push and prod it a couple other
things exhaust all opportunities to know
that if it doesn’t work out at least you
gave it your best because if you don’t
give it your best
you’re never gonna forgive yourself
[Music]
tip number six is project to 100 what I
try to do in these kinds of situations
is project my life out to a hundred and
think about if I continue to think this
way
what’s that collective experience gonna
be for me so if I can’t forgive myself
for what happened in the past and I feel
guilty about what happened the past and
it’s really impacting right now this
feeling I have right now is preventing
me from doing anything right it’s like
you’re stuck imagine the next five
decades of just still being here how
much that sucks
like do you want to be stuck for the
rest of your life because you made one
mistake and what I try to do is make the
future pain so big that whatever
immediate pain I have to solve the
problem feels tiny so having that honest
conversation maybe that’s your next step
but that’s scary
right like you got to go up and having
all this conversation with somebody and
talk about what happened and that that’s
gonna get your heart beating and you’re
nervous and you don’t want to do that
but the alternative is you live the rest
of your life with the guilt and the
shame and the feeling like you can’t
forgive yourself it’s easy on a
day-to-day basis to not feel that
strongly but if you try to accumulate
that out to age 100 every single day
feeling like the way you feel right now
I make that just so painful but then
whatever immediate thing I have to do
isn’t as scary it’s like if you’re if
you’re you know fingers hurting it
really hurts and then like somebody
punches you in the arm you don’t feel
the finger anymore because your arm
hurts so much that’s what you do to
yourself like I’ll do that to myself to
get me over whatever short term you need
to get pain or fear that I have and it
will allow me to have that honest
conversation so predict your life out to
100 like the rest of your life you’re
gonna be feeling like this do you want
that to happen no so fix it right
hopefully gives you enough of a drag the
more painful that experience is for you
the more you’ll motivate yourself to
actually make a change right now which
is what’s important
[Music]
and tip number seven is be a model for
your kids and this is for the parents
out there but also for the future
parents and future grandparents thinking
about what is the example you want to
set for the next generation like
whatever you did whatever big mistake
that you made that you can’t forgive
yourself for imagine if your kid did it
what message would you give them would
you want them to live the rest of their
life in this guilt and in the shame and
unable to forgive themselves what do you
think they’re gonna do if this is what
you do if this is how you react to
making those mistakes you live in guilt
and shame and can’t forgive yourself no
matter what you tell your kids they’re
gonna model your behavior they’re gonna
do the same thing that you did and so
until you can forgive yourself and get
over that then your kids won’t be able
to do it either so no matter what you
say to them say it’s okay don’t worry
about it forgive yourself if they see
you not able to forgive yourself then
they won’t have the courage to do it too
and so this one hits home particularly
me maybe because I have you know an
eight-year-old son and I want to be a
model for him and you know parents make
mistakes and there’s a ton of guilt that
happens and you’re always worried if
you’re doing the right thing or not but
any of the major things that I’m going
through I try to think about like what’s
the model I want to be for my son and
what’s the model I want to be for for my
grandkids as they come through because
no matter what I say they’re gonna pay
attention to what I do and how I act and
so if they see me being bold and
courageous then they will want to be
bold and courageous if they see me
shrinking down on being afraid and
worrying about judgments and fears and
guilt then they’re gonna do the same
thing they’re gonna feel like that’s
what they should be doing right we are a
product of our environment and so
thinking about how you can be a presence
in somebody else’s environment kids are
have the most like pulling the
heartstrings but it could also be your
friends and the people around you that
you want to pull people up you want to
be a model of success you want to be a
model of how to do things the right way
and I find at least for me that helps
pull me through to do the thing that
sometimes I’m afraid of I’m scared of
because if I was given advice to my son
on how to do it I would tell him to do
the right thing and so I need to model
that I need to actually do the right
thing instead of just talking about it
so those are my seven suggestions on how
to forgive yourself and overcome the
feeling of guilt I made this video
because Mauricio asked me to if there’s
a topic you’d like me to cover in a
you’re seven ways video check out the
link in the description go to that video
and cast your vote in the comments I’d
love to know which of the seven had the
biggest impact on you what change you’re
gonna make and immediately apply somehow
to your life for business and did I miss
an eight nine ten that you want to add
to the list please share your thoughts
leaving the comments below I’m really
looking forward to hearing what you have
to say I also want to give a quick chat
a to Tanya Tanya thank you so much for
picking up a copy of my book your one
word taking that awesome picture in your
kitchen and posting it to your online
accounts I really really really
appreciate the support and I’m so glad
that you enjoyed the book thank you guys
again for watching I believe in you I
hope you continue to believe in yourself
and whatever you’re one where it is much
love I’ll see you soon
[Music]
if you had to think of one word that’s
most important to you or that sums you
up or so it would be like a little
beacon pay believe nation if you want to
know what the most important one word is
for Tony Robbins Gary Vaynerchuk Oprah
Winfrey will.i.am and Howard Schultz I
have a very special secret video for you
check the description for details
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