good morning belief nation today we’re
going to talk about five ways you can
overcome your fears now if there’s one
area that I see stopping so many people
from living their dream from fulfilling
the potential that they were born to
fulfill it is getting over the fear of
failure so how do you do that how do you
take that fear and whip it out by the
roots and throw it away so it never
bothers you again you start to
understand what fear of failure actually
is because for many people all it is is
being sucker-punched by the good opinion
of other people caring about what they
think you know how I’m often that keeps
us down do you know how much of a life
is wasted caring about what we think
other people are thinking I mean yeah
and the reality is this you start as the
the number one a list actor in your
movie called your life do you not which
means that everybody else is either a
supporting cast or a film extra in the
movie of your life correct but what does
that really mean we walk around thinking
people look at us as the star in our
movie but they don’t everybody else is
living the same dream though they’re
walking around in the star of their own
movie and we’re just a filmmaker in
their movie so if we stop taking the
actions that we think will lead towards
success because we think we’re worried
about what the good opinion of other
people will do to us I got news for you
so listen carefully I don’t get on my
soapbox about many things but I’m
getting on it about this guy’s yeah
nobody cares enough about you to bother
to give an opinion because they’re too
busy being worried about what they think
you’re thinking of them failure failure
is not taking the step failure is not
picking up the battle swinging it at
life failure is getting to the end of
this game and regretting what we didn’t
do
it’s about saying whatever failures
lying on your deathbed thinking oh well
if I only I could go back and do fill in
the blank you know something to me
fairly isn’t falling down it’s staying
down when you fall it you have to fail
by the definition of all I didn’t
succeed in order so you can succeed
that’s what life is about it’s not about
taking it with you at the end it’s not
about scorekeeping I probably failed
more times than I’ve won but I keep my
average number of tries high and you
know what happens guess what you tap
into the lesson of history that most
people ignore and that is this is the
paradox of history that those that risk
the least in life usually end up with
the least in life and just because that
brain won’t tell us that when we have to
pay a mortgage on Friday doesn’t mean it
isn’t true
so get up and get in the game who you
are right now watching this is as a
result of your failures not your
successes it is when we’re testing when
the storm is ripping the branches off a
tree you know when the rain clouds are
there and we think we’ve got nothing
left
that’s who we are at our best when we
show up when we test it the strongest
trees grow in the strongest winds not in
the best soil so next time you have an
opportunity next time you start a
question whether you should step forward
or not or will it be a white square on
the chess board or a dark square who
cares get in the game swing the bat be
all you can be
get up and if anybody says oh you’re
doing that or oh you did that all look
at you failed no this they’re failing in
their judgment of you not in your
ability to pick up the baton swing it
again that’s the person you were born to
be my friends right that’s the person
who you are you were born a miracle you
are good enough you don’t need me to
tell you that you already are get out
there get in the game
go embrace it and if you fall over pick
yourself up swing the bat again and
let’s go play this game of life
yes courage can be developed absolutely
and there are things that will help you
to do that by putting yourself in
uncomfortable situations sometimes life
will force you to become courageous and
so it’s there that most of us don’t
develop our courage muscle case in point
that I’ve had the challenge and I’m
watching my languaging of dealing with
the fear of claustrophobia of being
closed in and I had to have an MRI and
so I’ve never had one before so the
first time I cave they had about four or
five females of the rule that said are
you afraid when they open the door I
looked at though I was doing but I
develop my courage but the first time
they closed the door
that’s not dogging is the hair let me
out let me out and then I had to call a
friend of mine to calm me down and he
said les he said cancer is a thief let
them find it before it becomes a
murderer he said focus on the outcome
not on the process and so the way that I
handle fear is I don’t focus on what is
it that’s terrorizing me I focus on what
is it I want to accomplish and I see
myself achieving the victory I see
myself living from the dream living from
that place that I’m reaching for in my
mind
Einstein said the imagination is a
preview of what’s to come and so we can
bypass the things that will cause us to
be afraid by looking at and being
focused singly on the things that we’re
going for the fastest way to get over
your fears I give you two different
approaches one is find something you’re
more scared of than your fear because
some people are afraid of public
speaking or afraid of doing anything but
they’re more afraid of disappointing
their children you know they’re more
afraid of missing out on the opportunity
they’re more afraid of not living the
life they want when I was a kid I would
do this little thing for myself and I’d
dunk throughout my life called the
rocking chair test someone taught it to
me
it was years ago I read in a book or
something and it was the idea that if
you’re trying to find out what you’re
gonna do something wrong you’re scared
to death
imagine you’re 80 years old and you
didn’t do it and how do you feel and if
it doesn’t bother you don’t do it
what if you think like like skydiving or
you know I’m a helicopter pilot you know
I don’t have time I have energy but if I
fought at 80 years old I could have been
flying and taking people down on the
water and doing all this crazy and I
missed out on that so you can either
find you know what if you like to miss
out on your dream or what something I’m
more afraid of than your fear or we’ll
all play through our fears and we want
something bad enough right you know it’s
like I don’t care what it is I saw man
the other day I’ve known for years and
he lost 80 pounds of meze in the 70s and
I said what made you finally lose the
way no you know you taught for years he
said I really finally wanted it okay so
let’s really want okay so let’s come up
with some chips so one tip is you have
to really want it well and one tip is to
passionately figure out right the why I
believe me believe in that reasons come
first answers come second uh-huh if you
get a strong enough Y you can figure out
how to do anything but it’s a Y that’s
gonna drive you so I’d sit down and say
why is this a must for me not
you’re defining your fears instead of
your goals I think this is actually more
important so take out a piece of paper
divide it into three vertical columns
first column is all the things that
could go wrong in excruciating detail if
you quit your job or made that big
decision started that company whatever
the middle column all the things you
could do to mitigate those risks to
decrease the likelihood of all those bad
things happening and then the last
column is what you could do to get back
to where you are now if those things
happen and I think once people actually
define with extreme clarity what they’re
afraid of they realize none of them are
permanent almost all of them are
reversible and then they can take big
steps
Tremayne this idea of fear of success is
actually really fear of failure nobody
is afraid to succeed if I said to you
how would you like to make a whole lot
of money easily and guaranteed win the
lottery mmm week receive an inheritance
nobody’s afraid of that what we’re
afraid of
is we’re afraid of failing in the
attempt to be successful and this comes
about mostly from destructive criticism
in childhood we get a lot of destructive
criticism we
builds up this feeling of I can’t or I’m
not good enough so the way that you
counter this fear of failure fear of
success any fear that’s holding you back
is you counter it with the opposite
words and the opposite magic words in
every language are the words I can do it
I can do it I can do it whenever you
think of anything that causes you any
concern just say to yourself I can do it
I can do that I can do anything I can do
anything I put my mind to I’ve raised
all four of my children by repeating
this to them over and over again for 20
years you can do it you can do it you
can do anything you put your mind to
those are the magic words that
eventually undercut and erode and wash
away any fear that may be holding you
back where every milestone while you
might be excited about the milestone
there’s a part of the milestone that you
don’t want to face are you hearing me
and listen to me I knocked out the
courseware boom got it done in order ET
why did it take you two years ET after
you finished your coursework why did it
take you two years to get started with
the dissertation I’m gonna be 100 with
you there one look not all the course
work out but when I finally got to the
dissertation I had to get to that demon
I had to deal with it I had to face it
face what we’re not talking about
elementary school middle school high
school I’ve had a professor or to tell
me in college that you will never get
your dissertation that that that while
your writing has improved but in terms
of your analysis like you are not
critical enough to do a dissertation are
you hear what I’m telling you we’re
talking about look math I love math
coming up why it is what it is so please
excuse my dear Aunt Sally like it is
what it is right it’s not subjective
writing is subjective I’ve had teachers
to look at my work at it and and
shrimping in the park and the fear to
fear what the fear of rejections
right this is if my teachers were so
subjective I put my whole heart into it
I put everything I can put and they tell
me edit it again
a revision after revision and it after
are you hear what I’m telling you I had
to deal with the fact that writing has
never really been my strong suit
and even though I’ve worked hard and I
put in hours and hours in the back of my
mind I in the back of my mind I could
hear the teacher say ichi you don’t have
what it takes to get a dissertation I’m
a grown man dealing with that fear I’m a
grown man I’m dealing with the rejection
of getting all that read I all that read
on my paper of having to do it over and
over and over and over and come on come
on somebody fills me you feel like
you’ll do a hundred and twenty percent
you’ll give everything you have and it
still won’t be enough I feel you I was
there a positive milestone is what if I
give everything and it ain’t enough what
if I put my whole heart my whole mind my
whole soul into it
ichi and it’s not enough what about
doing and i fail and so i feel you so
you just like you’re not gonna do it at
all because you’d rather not do it and
find out the truth and I’m telling you
got to do this favor
you got a fake show here and you guys do
it anyway your way et had to face his
fear that’s right yup I know you see
Ichi be smoke and you right I am be
smoke but it don’t mean be smart without
fear and don’t mean be smart without a
little anxiety
it don’t mean be smoke and I’m just 120
percent sure no I have to live by faith
– and I made up in my mind
Ichi you gotta go after eat look I
finished my coursework it took me two
years why cuz it took me two years to
get over the fear it took me two years
to get over the anxiety it took me two
years to finally say gonna live here I
come Goliath you might be taller than me
you might be bigger than me you might be
stronger than me but I’m coming and I’d
rather die trying
I’d rather die going after this
dissertation I’d rather give everything
our guy I’d rather give a year I’d
rather put it in work and fail you
cannot try it off you know when you get
old in life things get taken from
that’s that’s that’s part of life but
you only learn that when you start
losing stuff you’ll find out life’s is
game edges the margin for error is so
small I mean one half a step too late or
too early and you don’t quite make it
one half second too slow too fast you
don’t quite catch it the inches we need
are everywhere around us it’s your boy
Ichi man it’s your boy Ichi you say look
look some of y’all you feelin me you got
to get past this part and once you get
past this part we’re in the clear so
remember if it was easy everybody would
do it it’s not gonna be easy but it’s
doable it’s doable so do me a huge favor
try so that you can make the rest of
your life the best of your life and not
get stuck at this point in your life but
get past this point because on the other
side of that fear and the other side of
that anxiety and the other side that
doubt thank you so much for watching I
hope you guys enjoyed I made this video
because Sandell asked me to so visit
topic that you want me to cover in the
next edition of believe life leave it in
the comments below and I’ll see what I
can do
I’d also love to know which of the clips
that you saw had the most impact on you
and why leave it in the comments and
I’ll join in the discussion thank you so
much for watching
have an amazing day continue to believe
and I’ll see you soon
fill your calendar up my trick I play
with myself not to deal with fear is I
feel my calendar I pack it so tight I’m
literally starving fear because fear
needs time
if you Jam your calendar no white space
on a calendar you’ll starve fear fear
lives on time the first step is finding
out where that fear comes from it starts
as we heard last week with a young with
the story that you’re telling yourself
I’ve said it before we become what we
believe you don’t come what become what
you wish for or what you want you become
what you really believe in your heart
you deserve and you’re worthy of that’s
the reason I’ve been able I believe to
accomplish what I have in the world it’s
because I did not believe what I was
told about being poor and black and
female in Mississippi
I actually believed in a higher power in
a greater consciousness I called it God
and I was able to link my belief align
my beliefs with that power that was
greater than myself and to allow that to
be the current that I flowed through my
life so the stories we tell ourselves
that’s a story I told myself when I
heard that I was God’s child I took it I
took it and believed it I’m God’s child
that means I can do anything but toy
stories that we tell ourselves can make
or break our lives no matter who you are
now fear is going to be a player in your
life but you get to decide how much you
can spend your whole life imagining
ghosts worrying about the pathway to the
future but all there will ever be is
what’s happening here in the decisions
we make in this moment which are based
in either love or fear so many of us
choose our path out of fear disguised as
practicality
what we really want seems impossibly out
of reach and ridiculous to expect so we
never dare to ask the universe for it
I’m saying I’m the proof that you can
ask the universe for it
going to talk about five ways you can
overcome your fears now if there’s one
area that I see stopping so many people
from living their dream from fulfilling
the potential that they were born to
fulfill it is getting over the fear of
failure so how do you do that how do you
take that fear and whip it out by the
roots and throw it away so it never
bothers you again you start to
understand what fear of failure actually
is because for many people all it is is
being sucker-punched by the good opinion
of other people caring about what they
think you know how I’m often that keeps
us down do you know how much of a life
is wasted caring about what we think
other people are thinking I mean yeah
and the reality is this you start as the
the number one a list actor in your
movie called your life do you not which
means that everybody else is either a
supporting cast or a film extra in the
movie of your life correct but what does
that really mean we walk around thinking
people look at us as the star in our
movie but they don’t everybody else is
living the same dream though they’re
walking around in the star of their own
movie and we’re just a filmmaker in
their movie so if we stop taking the
actions that we think will lead towards
success because we think we’re worried
about what the good opinion of other
people will do to us I got news for you
so listen carefully I don’t get on my
soapbox about many things but I’m
getting on it about this guy’s yeah
nobody cares enough about you to bother
to give an opinion because they’re too
busy being worried about what they think
you’re thinking of them failure failure
is not taking the step failure is not
picking up the battle swinging it at
life failure is getting to the end of
this game and regretting what we didn’t
do
it’s about saying whatever failures
lying on your deathbed thinking oh well
if I only I could go back and do fill in
the blank you know something to me
fairly isn’t falling down it’s staying
down when you fall it you have to fail
by the definition of all I didn’t
succeed in order so you can succeed
that’s what life is about it’s not about
taking it with you at the end it’s not
about scorekeeping I probably failed
more times than I’ve won but I keep my
average number of tries high and you
know what happens guess what you tap
into the lesson of history that most
people ignore and that is this is the
paradox of history that those that risk
the least in life usually end up with
the least in life and just because that
brain won’t tell us that when we have to
pay a mortgage on Friday doesn’t mean it
isn’t true
so get up and get in the game who you
are right now watching this is as a
result of your failures not your
successes it is when we’re testing when
the storm is ripping the branches off a
tree you know when the rain clouds are
there and we think we’ve got nothing
left
that’s who we are at our best when we
show up when we test it the strongest
trees grow in the strongest winds not in
the best soil so next time you have an
opportunity next time you start a
question whether you should step forward
or not or will it be a white square on
the chess board or a dark square who
cares get in the game swing the bat be
all you can be
get up and if anybody says oh you’re
doing that or oh you did that all look
at you failed no this they’re failing in
their judgment of you not in your
ability to pick up the baton swing it
again that’s the person you were born to
be my friends right that’s the person
who you are you were born a miracle you
are good enough you don’t need me to
tell you that you already are get out
there get in the game
go embrace it and if you fall over pick
yourself up swing the bat again and
let’s go play this game of life
yes courage can be developed absolutely
and there are things that will help you
to do that by putting yourself in
uncomfortable situations sometimes life
will force you to become courageous and
so it’s there that most of us don’t
develop our courage muscle case in point
that I’ve had the challenge and I’m
watching my languaging of dealing with
the fear of claustrophobia of being
closed in and I had to have an MRI and
so I’ve never had one before so the
first time I cave they had about four or
five females of the rule that said are
you afraid when they open the door I
looked at though I was doing but I
develop my courage but the first time
they closed the door
that’s not dogging is the hair let me
out let me out and then I had to call a
friend of mine to calm me down and he
said les he said cancer is a thief let
them find it before it becomes a
murderer he said focus on the outcome
not on the process and so the way that I
handle fear is I don’t focus on what is
it that’s terrorizing me I focus on what
is it I want to accomplish and I see
myself achieving the victory I see
myself living from the dream living from
that place that I’m reaching for in my
mind
Einstein said the imagination is a
preview of what’s to come and so we can
bypass the things that will cause us to
be afraid by looking at and being
focused singly on the things that we’re
going for the fastest way to get over
your fears I give you two different
approaches one is find something you’re
more scared of than your fear because
some people are afraid of public
speaking or afraid of doing anything but
they’re more afraid of disappointing
their children you know they’re more
afraid of missing out on the opportunity
they’re more afraid of not living the
life they want when I was a kid I would
do this little thing for myself and I’d
dunk throughout my life called the
rocking chair test someone taught it to
me
it was years ago I read in a book or
something and it was the idea that if
you’re trying to find out what you’re
gonna do something wrong you’re scared
to death
imagine you’re 80 years old and you
didn’t do it and how do you feel and if
it doesn’t bother you don’t do it
what if you think like like skydiving or
you know I’m a helicopter pilot you know
I don’t have time I have energy but if I
fought at 80 years old I could have been
flying and taking people down on the
water and doing all this crazy and I
missed out on that so you can either
find you know what if you like to miss
out on your dream or what something I’m
more afraid of than your fear or we’ll
all play through our fears and we want
something bad enough right you know it’s
like I don’t care what it is I saw man
the other day I’ve known for years and
he lost 80 pounds of meze in the 70s and
I said what made you finally lose the
way no you know you taught for years he
said I really finally wanted it okay so
let’s really want okay so let’s come up
with some chips so one tip is you have
to really want it well and one tip is to
passionately figure out right the why I
believe me believe in that reasons come
first answers come second uh-huh if you
get a strong enough Y you can figure out
how to do anything but it’s a Y that’s
gonna drive you so I’d sit down and say
why is this a must for me not
you’re defining your fears instead of
your goals I think this is actually more
important so take out a piece of paper
divide it into three vertical columns
first column is all the things that
could go wrong in excruciating detail if
you quit your job or made that big
decision started that company whatever
the middle column all the things you
could do to mitigate those risks to
decrease the likelihood of all those bad
things happening and then the last
column is what you could do to get back
to where you are now if those things
happen and I think once people actually
define with extreme clarity what they’re
afraid of they realize none of them are
permanent almost all of them are
reversible and then they can take big
steps
Tremayne this idea of fear of success is
actually really fear of failure nobody
is afraid to succeed if I said to you
how would you like to make a whole lot
of money easily and guaranteed win the
lottery mmm week receive an inheritance
nobody’s afraid of that what we’re
afraid of
is we’re afraid of failing in the
attempt to be successful and this comes
about mostly from destructive criticism
in childhood we get a lot of destructive
criticism we
builds up this feeling of I can’t or I’m
not good enough so the way that you
counter this fear of failure fear of
success any fear that’s holding you back
is you counter it with the opposite
words and the opposite magic words in
every language are the words I can do it
I can do it I can do it whenever you
think of anything that causes you any
concern just say to yourself I can do it
I can do that I can do anything I can do
anything I put my mind to I’ve raised
all four of my children by repeating
this to them over and over again for 20
years you can do it you can do it you
can do anything you put your mind to
those are the magic words that
eventually undercut and erode and wash
away any fear that may be holding you
back where every milestone while you
might be excited about the milestone
there’s a part of the milestone that you
don’t want to face are you hearing me
and listen to me I knocked out the
courseware boom got it done in order ET
why did it take you two years ET after
you finished your coursework why did it
take you two years to get started with
the dissertation I’m gonna be 100 with
you there one look not all the course
work out but when I finally got to the
dissertation I had to get to that demon
I had to deal with it I had to face it
face what we’re not talking about
elementary school middle school high
school I’ve had a professor or to tell
me in college that you will never get
your dissertation that that that while
your writing has improved but in terms
of your analysis like you are not
critical enough to do a dissertation are
you hear what I’m telling you we’re
talking about look math I love math
coming up why it is what it is so please
excuse my dear Aunt Sally like it is
what it is right it’s not subjective
writing is subjective I’ve had teachers
to look at my work at it and and
shrimping in the park and the fear to
fear what the fear of rejections
right this is if my teachers were so
subjective I put my whole heart into it
I put everything I can put and they tell
me edit it again
a revision after revision and it after
are you hear what I’m telling you I had
to deal with the fact that writing has
never really been my strong suit
and even though I’ve worked hard and I
put in hours and hours in the back of my
mind I in the back of my mind I could
hear the teacher say ichi you don’t have
what it takes to get a dissertation I’m
a grown man dealing with that fear I’m a
grown man I’m dealing with the rejection
of getting all that read I all that read
on my paper of having to do it over and
over and over and over and come on come
on somebody fills me you feel like
you’ll do a hundred and twenty percent
you’ll give everything you have and it
still won’t be enough I feel you I was
there a positive milestone is what if I
give everything and it ain’t enough what
if I put my whole heart my whole mind my
whole soul into it
ichi and it’s not enough what about
doing and i fail and so i feel you so
you just like you’re not gonna do it at
all because you’d rather not do it and
find out the truth and I’m telling you
got to do this favor
you got a fake show here and you guys do
it anyway your way et had to face his
fear that’s right yup I know you see
Ichi be smoke and you right I am be
smoke but it don’t mean be smart without
fear and don’t mean be smart without a
little anxiety
it don’t mean be smoke and I’m just 120
percent sure no I have to live by faith
– and I made up in my mind
Ichi you gotta go after eat look I
finished my coursework it took me two
years why cuz it took me two years to
get over the fear it took me two years
to get over the anxiety it took me two
years to finally say gonna live here I
come Goliath you might be taller than me
you might be bigger than me you might be
stronger than me but I’m coming and I’d
rather die trying
I’d rather die going after this
dissertation I’d rather give everything
our guy I’d rather give a year I’d
rather put it in work and fail you
cannot try it off you know when you get
old in life things get taken from
that’s that’s that’s part of life but
you only learn that when you start
losing stuff you’ll find out life’s is
game edges the margin for error is so
small I mean one half a step too late or
too early and you don’t quite make it
one half second too slow too fast you
don’t quite catch it the inches we need
are everywhere around us it’s your boy
Ichi man it’s your boy Ichi you say look
look some of y’all you feelin me you got
to get past this part and once you get
past this part we’re in the clear so
remember if it was easy everybody would
do it it’s not gonna be easy but it’s
doable it’s doable so do me a huge favor
try so that you can make the rest of
your life the best of your life and not
get stuck at this point in your life but
get past this point because on the other
side of that fear and the other side of
that anxiety and the other side that
doubt thank you so much for watching I
hope you guys enjoyed I made this video
because Sandell asked me to so visit
topic that you want me to cover in the
next edition of believe life leave it in
the comments below and I’ll see what I
can do
I’d also love to know which of the clips
that you saw had the most impact on you
and why leave it in the comments and
I’ll join in the discussion thank you so
much for watching
have an amazing day continue to believe
and I’ll see you soon
fill your calendar up my trick I play
with myself not to deal with fear is I
feel my calendar I pack it so tight I’m
literally starving fear because fear
needs time
if you Jam your calendar no white space
on a calendar you’ll starve fear fear
lives on time the first step is finding
out where that fear comes from it starts
as we heard last week with a young with
the story that you’re telling yourself
I’ve said it before we become what we
believe you don’t come what become what
you wish for or what you want you become
what you really believe in your heart
you deserve and you’re worthy of that’s
the reason I’ve been able I believe to
accomplish what I have in the world it’s
because I did not believe what I was
told about being poor and black and
female in Mississippi
I actually believed in a higher power in
a greater consciousness I called it God
and I was able to link my belief align
my beliefs with that power that was
greater than myself and to allow that to
be the current that I flowed through my
life so the stories we tell ourselves
that’s a story I told myself when I
heard that I was God’s child I took it I
took it and believed it I’m God’s child
that means I can do anything but toy
stories that we tell ourselves can make
or break our lives no matter who you are
now fear is going to be a player in your
life but you get to decide how much you
can spend your whole life imagining
ghosts worrying about the pathway to the
future but all there will ever be is
what’s happening here in the decisions
we make in this moment which are based
in either love or fear so many of us
choose our path out of fear disguised as
practicality
what we really want seems impossibly out
of reach and ridiculous to expect so we
never dare to ask the universe for it
I’m saying I’m the proof that you can
ask the universe for it
Please follow and like us: