all those degrees all those fancy
schools didn’t help me connect in to who
I needed to be as a person do not be
wanna soar get a mentor today let’s
learn from Michelle Obama and some of
her best life-changing advice meant to
me Michelle also if you want to learn
how to have confidence like Michelle
Obama and other women and/or black
entrepreneurs check out by 2:54 video
series it’s free is in the description
below doubts don’t go away you just
learn how to deal with them young people
from the toughest backgrounds who never
stop believing in their dream the only
way you succeed in life the only way you
learn is by failing it’s not the failure
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one find your passion
I talked about the worries that you had
about other people judging your career
choices especially leaving law how did
you overcome that and what would you say
to others facing the same dilemma hmm
well the first thing that I had to
overcome was my own guilt because when
you’d spend so much time and money in my
case taking out student loans I came out
of law school with a lot of debt the
notion that I wouldn’t want to invest
financially to recoup that you know that
initial investment was a struggle for me
especially growing up as a working-class
kid you know I talked about the
conversation I have with my mother where
I was trying to break down how I wasn’t
passionate about my career and I I feel
guilty talking to a woman who had
sacrificed so much for me and probably
never had the luxury of thinking about
something as trivial as passion you know
so explaining that to a working-class
family how you’re gonna walk away from a
solid career and a solid income to you
know pursue what’s deep in your heart
you know my parents didn’t I’m with a
your biggest worry when you decided to
leave and initially they were but also
that it was part of the challenge was
what else was I gonna do you know that
that’s part I describe myself as a box
checker because that’s what how we teach
kids it’s like there’s a path you pick a
career when you’re seven you study that
career in elementary school you go to
college you get a major and life choices
are not that orderly but that’s how we
train kids and I was right on that path
and I knew how to achieve I knew how to
get aids and how to get to the next
level but no one taught me how to dig
deep inside my soul and figure out what
I cared about and we don’t talk to kids
about what they care about we talk about
what they should major in what they
should study and those two things are
very different so part of the struggle
was figuring I had to relearn how to
educate myself about who I was
school didn’t teach me that all those
degrees all those fancy schools didn’t
help me connect in to who I needed to be
as a person so I had to rewind all that
learning I did what I called
informational interviews I had to go out
and just meet people who were doing all
sorts of things that seemed interesting
to figure out what I cared about was it
kids what was it working with kids was
it mentoring was it education I didn’t
know I hadn’t explored it because I was
on the path to be a lawyer so that was
the hardest thing for me to to
understand how to do is to walk away
from the formal training that I had
gotten and just swerve into something
more creating say where’d your advice be
to others it is important to find your
passion it is absolutely important and I
encourage young people to try on
different hats I think it’s a shame that
kids are forced to figure out so early
in their life and get on a path so I
encourage kids to do internships to work
to talk to people who are doing things
that they think are interesting because
most kids are intimidated about
approaching you for example and saying
Holly you’ve done some swerving tell me
about what you’re what you’re doing and
having those conversations in high
school and in college before you commit
to something but I think kids feel the
pressure to have to know what there is
such a young age exactly 16 17 18 making
these big life decisions in one of the
first lines in the first chapters
question that I hate the most that we
asked children is what do you want to be
when you grow up as if growing up is
finite is if you get to a place and at
some point that’s the end and that’s
sort of one of our big dilemmas that we
ask kids so early to figure out who
you’re going to be at 5 and 7 and 10 and
even 20 years old so I do encourage
young people to be open to the swerve
and don’t beat themselves up if they
feel they may be not made the the right
first choice because life Holly is long
and as you know we can have many lives
within a life we are always evolving
that is why I called the book becoming
you know this notion that we we that we
ever stopped evolving is it just wrong
rule number two read and write read
write read read if the president were
here one of his greatest strengths is
reading that’s one of the reasons why
he’s a good communicator why he’s such a
good writer he’s a voracious reader so
we’re trying to get our girls no matter
what to just be to love reading and to
challenge themselves with what they read
and not just read the gossip books but
to push themselves beyond and do things
that maybe they wouldn’t do so I would
encourage you all to to read read read
just keep reading and writing is another
skill it’s practice it’s practice the
more you write the better you get drafts
our kids are learning the first draft
means nothing you’re gonna do seven ten
drafts that’s writing it’s not failure
it’s not not the teacher not liking you
because it’s all marked up and read when
you get to be a good writer you mark
your own stuff and read and you rewrite
and you rewrite and you rewrite that’s
what writing is and if you come out with
those skills and then you’re confident
and you can articulate and you can stand
up straight and look anybody in the eye
and say this is who I am
it’s a pleasure to meet you that’s one
of the things we try to do with our
mentoring program with young girls my
message to them is if you can walk into
the White House and meet the first lady
and say my name is how are you and look
me in the eye then there’s nothing you
can’t do that’s why it’s important if
you guys walked here are sitting here in
front of all these people standing tall
asking questions using your voice you
have to practice that these arenas just
show up again and again and then you
just get used to it the nerves go away
and you start relaxing into your own
abilities but it’s practice
rule number three fail your way to
success this is what I tell my daughters
every day do not be afraid to fail
because that often times is the thing
that keeps us as women and girls back
because we think we have to be right and
we think we have to be perfect we think
that we can’t stumble and the only way
you succeed in life the only way you
learn is by failing it’s not the failure
it’s what you do after you fail you know
do you let it each up do you quit do you
give up or do you let it bolster you
does it serve as as the challenge in
your mind to do more to take some risks
to step outside of your comfort zone
rule number 4 have Mentors
what would you say to young women and to
young men about the importance of
seeking out strong mentors and what did
they mean to you oh my goodness you you
don’t do anything alone and I think a
lot of young people think they look at
people like us and think you just
magically appeared you became and there
you are and it’s like no no I always
looked ahead of me at the women
primarily who were doing the things that
I wanted to do I talk a lot about
Valerie Jarrett for example who has
worked in our administration but I met
her very early on before Barack and I
even got married and she for me was one
of the first examples of a strong
professional woman who was a single
parent who was doing a phenomenal job as
a mother and was just a boss at work and
watching her balance that and not losing
herself in either role you know I talked
about how I’d sit in a meeting with her
and she’d be in the midst of you know
business leaders sitting around the
table the mayor on the phone and her
secretary would call and say her
daughter had just got home from school
and wanted to talk and she turned
herself off in a second because she said
I will always make time for my daughter
you know so I saw how important it was
that even in the height of your career
putting your kids first was important
and that
helped me sort of think about how I
wanted the White House experience to
feel for my daughters that’s why we you
know in so many instances we would stop
our day you know no matter what was
going on and give that time to the kids
because we wanted them to feel like they
were at the center of everything even
when their mom and dad were some of the
most powerful people in the world so I
wouldn’t have known that that example
was possible had I not looked ahead at
the the women who were my mentors and
rule number five the last one before a
very special bonus tip is know your
values I was the vice president of
community outreach for the University of
Chicago hospital and I got that job
because I didn’t compromise because
before getting working at that job I was
working as an associate dean I had had
Malia Barack was in the US Senate so I
was basically you know mothering part
time on my own having I had a full-time
job so I tried part-time I’ve talked
about this before I tried part-time
because I thought I have to figure this
out I have to be able to pick the kids
up I’ve got to be able to do all this so
try part-time so only thing I found out
from part-time was that you just get
paid part-time because I was still doing
a full time job I was just cramming it
all in to the few hours that I was there
and driving myself crazy so I had about
that if I continued to work that I would
never settle for part-time I knew what
my time and energy was worth so when I
went into that the president’s office to
interview for that job I thought I have
a little baby I don’t have babysitting
so here we go we’re all gonna go in to
see the president
this is who I am yeah and I said and if
I take this job I need flexibility and I
need full pay so if you want me to leave
my baby and my kids then you’re gonna
have to pay me because I’m gonna do the
job that was never a question you know I
could deliver but I wasn’t I knew then I
wasn’t gonna sell myself short
I don’t ever view it as bravery yeah you
didn’t think that was brave saying look
I’m gonna be paid for time right I just
I just viewed it is I’m not gonna be
taken advantage of you know I just I am
just not gonna keep you it’s a new your
value that’s new your value now I’ve got
a really special bonus tip from Michelle
on how to be authentic that I think
you’re gonna enjoy but before that it’s
time for the three-point landing
questions time to move from just
watching a video to taking action in
your life of business here we go number
one who is your single most important
mentor number two what’s the lesson
you’ve learned from them that you need
to remind yourself of daily and number
three what book will you commit to
reading this week next I’ve always felt
a deep sense of obligation to make the
biggest impact possible with this
incredible platform so I took on issues
that were personal to me issues like
helping families raise healthier kids
honoring the incredible military
families that I’ve met out on the
campaign trail inspiring our young
people to value their education and
finish college now some folks criticize
my choices for not being bold enough but
these were my choices my issues and I
decided to tackle them in a way that
felt most authentic to me in a way that
was both substantive and strategic but
also fun and hopefully inspiring so I
immersed myself in the policy details I
worked with Congress on legislation
engaged speeches to CEOs military
generals Hollywood executives but I also
worked to ensure that my efforts would
resonate with kids and families and that
meant doing things in a creative and um
in channel way so yeah I planted a
garden and hula hooped on the White
House lawn with kids I did some mom
dancing on TV I celebrated military kids
with Kermit the Frog
I asked folks across the country to wear
their alma mater t-shirts for college
signing day and at the end of the day by
staying true to the me I’ve always known
I found that this journey has been
incredibly freeing because no matter
what happened I had the peace of mind of
knowing that all of the chatter the
name-calling the doubting all of it was
just noise it did not define me it
didn’t change who I was and most
importantly it couldn’t hold me back I
have learned that as long as I hold fast
to my beliefs and values and follow my
own moral compass then the only
expectations I need to leave live up to
if you want more michelle’s check with
the top ten rules video made in Herzl
inc it’s right there next to me I think
you’ll enjoy it continue to believe and
I’ll see you there
facing and overcoming adversity is
actually one of your biggest advantages you got to be open to taking some risks
schools didn’t help me connect in to who
I needed to be as a person do not be
wanna soar get a mentor today let’s
learn from Michelle Obama and some of
her best life-changing advice meant to
me Michelle also if you want to learn
how to have confidence like Michelle
Obama and other women and/or black
entrepreneurs check out by 2:54 video
series it’s free is in the description
below doubts don’t go away you just
learn how to deal with them young people
from the toughest backgrounds who never
stop believing in their dream the only
way you succeed in life the only way you
learn is by failing it’s not the failure
okay let’s kick it off with rule number
one find your passion
I talked about the worries that you had
about other people judging your career
choices especially leaving law how did
you overcome that and what would you say
to others facing the same dilemma hmm
well the first thing that I had to
overcome was my own guilt because when
you’d spend so much time and money in my
case taking out student loans I came out
of law school with a lot of debt the
notion that I wouldn’t want to invest
financially to recoup that you know that
initial investment was a struggle for me
especially growing up as a working-class
kid you know I talked about the
conversation I have with my mother where
I was trying to break down how I wasn’t
passionate about my career and I I feel
guilty talking to a woman who had
sacrificed so much for me and probably
never had the luxury of thinking about
something as trivial as passion you know
so explaining that to a working-class
family how you’re gonna walk away from a
solid career and a solid income to you
know pursue what’s deep in your heart
you know my parents didn’t I’m with a
your biggest worry when you decided to
leave and initially they were but also
that it was part of the challenge was
what else was I gonna do you know that
that’s part I describe myself as a box
checker because that’s what how we teach
kids it’s like there’s a path you pick a
career when you’re seven you study that
career in elementary school you go to
college you get a major and life choices
are not that orderly but that’s how we
train kids and I was right on that path
and I knew how to achieve I knew how to
get aids and how to get to the next
level but no one taught me how to dig
deep inside my soul and figure out what
I cared about and we don’t talk to kids
about what they care about we talk about
what they should major in what they
should study and those two things are
very different so part of the struggle
was figuring I had to relearn how to
educate myself about who I was
school didn’t teach me that all those
degrees all those fancy schools didn’t
help me connect in to who I needed to be
as a person so I had to rewind all that
learning I did what I called
informational interviews I had to go out
and just meet people who were doing all
sorts of things that seemed interesting
to figure out what I cared about was it
kids what was it working with kids was
it mentoring was it education I didn’t
know I hadn’t explored it because I was
on the path to be a lawyer so that was
the hardest thing for me to to
understand how to do is to walk away
from the formal training that I had
gotten and just swerve into something
more creating say where’d your advice be
to others it is important to find your
passion it is absolutely important and I
encourage young people to try on
different hats I think it’s a shame that
kids are forced to figure out so early
in their life and get on a path so I
encourage kids to do internships to work
to talk to people who are doing things
that they think are interesting because
most kids are intimidated about
approaching you for example and saying
Holly you’ve done some swerving tell me
about what you’re what you’re doing and
having those conversations in high
school and in college before you commit
to something but I think kids feel the
pressure to have to know what there is
such a young age exactly 16 17 18 making
these big life decisions in one of the
first lines in the first chapters
question that I hate the most that we
asked children is what do you want to be
when you grow up as if growing up is
finite is if you get to a place and at
some point that’s the end and that’s
sort of one of our big dilemmas that we
ask kids so early to figure out who
you’re going to be at 5 and 7 and 10 and
even 20 years old so I do encourage
young people to be open to the swerve
and don’t beat themselves up if they
feel they may be not made the the right
first choice because life Holly is long
and as you know we can have many lives
within a life we are always evolving
that is why I called the book becoming
you know this notion that we we that we
ever stopped evolving is it just wrong
rule number two read and write read
write read read if the president were
here one of his greatest strengths is
reading that’s one of the reasons why
he’s a good communicator why he’s such a
good writer he’s a voracious reader so
we’re trying to get our girls no matter
what to just be to love reading and to
challenge themselves with what they read
and not just read the gossip books but
to push themselves beyond and do things
that maybe they wouldn’t do so I would
encourage you all to to read read read
just keep reading and writing is another
skill it’s practice it’s practice the
more you write the better you get drafts
our kids are learning the first draft
means nothing you’re gonna do seven ten
drafts that’s writing it’s not failure
it’s not not the teacher not liking you
because it’s all marked up and read when
you get to be a good writer you mark
your own stuff and read and you rewrite
and you rewrite and you rewrite that’s
what writing is and if you come out with
those skills and then you’re confident
and you can articulate and you can stand
up straight and look anybody in the eye
and say this is who I am
it’s a pleasure to meet you that’s one
of the things we try to do with our
mentoring program with young girls my
message to them is if you can walk into
the White House and meet the first lady
and say my name is how are you and look
me in the eye then there’s nothing you
can’t do that’s why it’s important if
you guys walked here are sitting here in
front of all these people standing tall
asking questions using your voice you
have to practice that these arenas just
show up again and again and then you
just get used to it the nerves go away
and you start relaxing into your own
abilities but it’s practice
rule number three fail your way to
success this is what I tell my daughters
every day do not be afraid to fail
because that often times is the thing
that keeps us as women and girls back
because we think we have to be right and
we think we have to be perfect we think
that we can’t stumble and the only way
you succeed in life the only way you
learn is by failing it’s not the failure
it’s what you do after you fail you know
do you let it each up do you quit do you
give up or do you let it bolster you
does it serve as as the challenge in
your mind to do more to take some risks
to step outside of your comfort zone
rule number 4 have Mentors
what would you say to young women and to
young men about the importance of
seeking out strong mentors and what did
they mean to you oh my goodness you you
don’t do anything alone and I think a
lot of young people think they look at
people like us and think you just
magically appeared you became and there
you are and it’s like no no I always
looked ahead of me at the women
primarily who were doing the things that
I wanted to do I talk a lot about
Valerie Jarrett for example who has
worked in our administration but I met
her very early on before Barack and I
even got married and she for me was one
of the first examples of a strong
professional woman who was a single
parent who was doing a phenomenal job as
a mother and was just a boss at work and
watching her balance that and not losing
herself in either role you know I talked
about how I’d sit in a meeting with her
and she’d be in the midst of you know
business leaders sitting around the
table the mayor on the phone and her
secretary would call and say her
daughter had just got home from school
and wanted to talk and she turned
herself off in a second because she said
I will always make time for my daughter
you know so I saw how important it was
that even in the height of your career
putting your kids first was important
and that
helped me sort of think about how I
wanted the White House experience to
feel for my daughters that’s why we you
know in so many instances we would stop
our day you know no matter what was
going on and give that time to the kids
because we wanted them to feel like they
were at the center of everything even
when their mom and dad were some of the
most powerful people in the world so I
wouldn’t have known that that example
was possible had I not looked ahead at
the the women who were my mentors and
rule number five the last one before a
very special bonus tip is know your
values I was the vice president of
community outreach for the University of
Chicago hospital and I got that job
because I didn’t compromise because
before getting working at that job I was
working as an associate dean I had had
Malia Barack was in the US Senate so I
was basically you know mothering part
time on my own having I had a full-time
job so I tried part-time I’ve talked
about this before I tried part-time
because I thought I have to figure this
out I have to be able to pick the kids
up I’ve got to be able to do all this so
try part-time so only thing I found out
from part-time was that you just get
paid part-time because I was still doing
a full time job I was just cramming it
all in to the few hours that I was there
and driving myself crazy so I had about
that if I continued to work that I would
never settle for part-time I knew what
my time and energy was worth so when I
went into that the president’s office to
interview for that job I thought I have
a little baby I don’t have babysitting
so here we go we’re all gonna go in to
see the president
this is who I am yeah and I said and if
I take this job I need flexibility and I
need full pay so if you want me to leave
my baby and my kids then you’re gonna
have to pay me because I’m gonna do the
job that was never a question you know I
could deliver but I wasn’t I knew then I
wasn’t gonna sell myself short
I don’t ever view it as bravery yeah you
didn’t think that was brave saying look
I’m gonna be paid for time right I just
I just viewed it is I’m not gonna be
taken advantage of you know I just I am
just not gonna keep you it’s a new your
value that’s new your value now I’ve got
a really special bonus tip from Michelle
on how to be authentic that I think
you’re gonna enjoy but before that it’s
time for the three-point landing
questions time to move from just
watching a video to taking action in
your life of business here we go number
one who is your single most important
mentor number two what’s the lesson
you’ve learned from them that you need
to remind yourself of daily and number
three what book will you commit to
reading this week next I’ve always felt
a deep sense of obligation to make the
biggest impact possible with this
incredible platform so I took on issues
that were personal to me issues like
helping families raise healthier kids
honoring the incredible military
families that I’ve met out on the
campaign trail inspiring our young
people to value their education and
finish college now some folks criticize
my choices for not being bold enough but
these were my choices my issues and I
decided to tackle them in a way that
felt most authentic to me in a way that
was both substantive and strategic but
also fun and hopefully inspiring so I
immersed myself in the policy details I
worked with Congress on legislation
engaged speeches to CEOs military
generals Hollywood executives but I also
worked to ensure that my efforts would
resonate with kids and families and that
meant doing things in a creative and um
in channel way so yeah I planted a
garden and hula hooped on the White
House lawn with kids I did some mom
dancing on TV I celebrated military kids
with Kermit the Frog
I asked folks across the country to wear
their alma mater t-shirts for college
signing day and at the end of the day by
staying true to the me I’ve always known
I found that this journey has been
incredibly freeing because no matter
what happened I had the peace of mind of
knowing that all of the chatter the
name-calling the doubting all of it was
just noise it did not define me it
didn’t change who I was and most
importantly it couldn’t hold me back I
have learned that as long as I hold fast
to my beliefs and values and follow my
own moral compass then the only
expectations I need to leave live up to
if you want more michelle’s check with
the top ten rules video made in Herzl
inc it’s right there next to me I think
you’ll enjoy it continue to believe and
I’ll see you there
facing and overcoming adversity is
actually one of your biggest advantages you got to be open to taking some risks
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