hello believe nation its Evan my one
word is believe and I believe in people
more than they believe in themselves and
my sincere hope is that if you believe
in yourself as much as I believe in you
you’ll be able to change the planet so
to help you on your journey today I’m
doing a video on the ten skills that are
hard to learn but will pay off forever
and as always guys if you’re watching if
you hear something that really resonates
with you leave it down in the comments
below it’s much more likely to stick
with yourself and if you leave a comment
within the first few hours of the video
going live you have a chance to win one
of two daily prizes enjoy skill number
one is speaking up one of the things you
would want to be sure to do is whether
you like it or not get very comfortable
it may take a while with public speaking
for example I mean that that’s a an
asset that will last you fifty or sixty
years and it’s a liability if you don’t
like doing it or uncomfortable doing it
that also will ask you 50 or 60 years
and it’s a necessary skill skill number
two is being honest with yourself one of
the big things that all startups do is
they lie to themselves over and over and
over
mine’s faster mine’s cheaper mine’s
better mines this mines that no it’s not
and the reason it’s not is because
whoever it is you’re competing with it’s
not like they’re ignoring you it’s not
like oh my goodness this guy just
started on Shopify in the startup
competition he’s doing a million dollars
this year what was me I might as well
close up the doors what are they doing
I’m gonna copy what they’re doing and
now you’ve got to stay ahead and so you
know you’ve got to be very careful as an
entrepreneur to be brutally honest with
yourself and those are some of the
things that you’ll hear from me as a
mentor that you know know what you know
know what you don’t know but you’ve got
to know your business better than
anybody skill number three is having
confidence I don’t know if you’d agree
with me on this but in many ways one of
the key factors to legendary success
isn’t your natural ability it’s not
whether you have the right product it’s
not whether you’re in the right field
it’s not whether you’ve had a blessed
background it’s not whether you have the
right IQ I want you to really think
about and deconstruct and play with
maybe later tonight in your journal I
want you to deconstruct this idea of
confidence and it seems like a very
simple word but just think about it in
your own life when you have confidence
or we could even call it fire when you
have that fire within you that
confidence that interior bravery you
almost have this power to do whatever it
takes to get your brave vision done you
see in this world it’s not about you
know in many ways your strategy in your
business or your ability in your life
it’s about this thing called confidence
and we have all had these times in our
lives when we are full of confidence and
what other people see as a problem we
simply do see as an opportunity other
people see it as a stumbling block block
or a wall and we see it as a stepping
stone or this solution and so confidence
is symptom that you really want to wire
in confidence is something you really
want to develop confidence is a practice
confidence is a muscle and like any
muscle the more you focus on it and
practice it and train it the stronger
your confidence is gonna grow and I just
have to say it again when you are at a
place in your life when there is an
ongoing steady state stream of
confidence moving through your mindset
moving through your heart set you do the
heroic in your business and you achieve
the remarkable in your life skill number
four is listening Nelson Mandela is a
particularly special case study in the
leadership world because he is
universally regarded as a great leader
you can take other personalities and
depending on the nation you go to we
have different opinions about other
personalities but Nelson Mandela across
the world is universally regarded as a
great leader he was actually the son of
a tribal chief and he was asked one day
how did you learn to be a great leader
and he responded that he would go with
his father to tribal meetings
and he remembers two things when his
father would meet with other elders one
they would always sit in a circle and –
his father was always the last to speak
you’ll be told your whole life that you
need to learn to listen I would say that
you need to learn to be the last to
speak I see it in boardrooms every day
of the week even people who consider
themselves good leaders who may actually
be decent leaders will walk into a room
and say here’s the problem here’s what I
think but I’m interested in your opinion
let’s go around the room it’s too late
the skill to hold your opinions to
yourself until everyone has spoken does
two things one it gives everybody else
the feeling that they have been heard it
give me gives everyone else the ability
to feel that they have contributed and
two you get the benefit of hearing what
everybody else has to think before you
render your opinion the skill is really
to keep your opinions to yourself if you
agree with somebody don’t nod yes if you
disagree with somebody don’t nod no
simply sit there take it all in and the
only thing you’re allowed to do is ask
questions so that you can understand
what they mean and why they have the
opinion that they have you must
understand from where they are speaking
why they have the opinion they have not
just what they are saying and at the end
you will get your turn it sounds easy
it’s not practice being the last to
speak
that’s what Nelson Mandela did skill
number five is managing your time much
challenge in our generation is it
gradually – entertainment through
television through media through every
way possible we are living in a
generation of the dumbing down of
because we haven’t raided effectiveness
for busyness statistics say yes somebody
oughta clap no matter we are busier than
any other generation we have seen in the
last three to four hundred years we are
so busy where we are busier than a wall
within a one-armed wallpaper hanger
richest BSE bill you’ll get it later
don’t worry about anything it hits in a
minute we are just as busy as we can be
and we think because we’re busy
we’re effective but I want you to
challenge your schedule for a minute and
ask yourself are you are you really
being effective or is your life
cluttered with all kinds of stuff that
demands you and drains you and taxes you
and stops you from being your highest
and best self and are you substituting
busyness and all the chaos that goes
along with business from being effective
let me tell you a bunch of scientists
got together they begin to do some
research and they begin to determine
that 80% of the things we do are busy
things that we do in an area that is not
effective that the average person only
spends 20% of their time doing the
things that they are really gifted at
creating it passionate about excited to
do and the rest of it is all the dismal
dumb stuff that we all have to do in
order to survive just crazy stuff that
we’re doing wonder what would happen if
we would go from doing 80% of things
that are busy but not effective and 20%
of the things that are really effective
if we would switch those numbers around
and only give 20% of our time to the
things that we have to do and 80% of our
time to the thing that we were created
to do
wonder what would happen to your life
now think about it a minute I did a lot
of things you could take from me and I
could make it you could take my suit I
got another one you can take my car I
could get another one you could take my
house I could get another house but when
you take my time you have taken
something from me
that is totally irreplaceable we take
all kind of classes for money management
we know how to manage our money we know
how to repair our houses we’re working
on our hair and our bodies and all of
this kind of stuff we do everything
except the most important thing is to
value our time it takes time to be
creative you were meant to be creative
you were created in the likeness and the
image of a creator and in that likeness
and in that image you have creativity if
you had time you would be creative but
in the absence of time and with busyness
and clutters be the following baby baby
y’all got music playing on your phone
all kinds of stuff and no matter what
kind of song you put on after why you
hate to hear it because every time you
hear that sound you know it’s somebody
else one something else from you this
taking you away from what you are gifted
and creative to do skill number six is
stop whining so I have this thing that
I’ve been promoting called no whining
Wednesday’s Wednesday you cannot whine
complain or criticize and people like
well what is whine and whatever you
think it is don’t do it
and every time you do it you have to put
a quarter in a jar
if you whine about anything I can’t have
every one of them will cost you a
quarter or complaining why don’t you why
do you always how come you
I always they never cost you a quarter
then last week I had people send me
pictures of their jaws or quarters oh my
god but what they said to me also was
this was wonderful because I was never
ever aware of how much whining and
complaining and criticizing I do now
I’ve got Mother’s doing it with their
children so Wednesday is no whining
Wednesday we need to practice that we
need to stop whining about what isn’t
happening what we don’t have what we
can’t do what somebody didn’t do we got
to get it clean in 2014 no whining no
complaining no criticizing skill number
seven is staying present in the moment
if you’re living in the past you’re
gonna be depressed because you are
rehashing things that happen to you that
are not gonna happen again if you’re
living in the future you’re gonna be
anxious because you are anticipating
what’s coming or you’re wishing for
things that aren’t happening yet being
in the present is where the gold is
being in the present moment is where you
will have the greatest control where you
will feel the most at ease and where
happiness flourishes there’s a
super-tight connection between happiness
and the ability to live in the present
moment a lot of people believe that
happiness is tied to the things that
happen to you not so at all in fact
there is a professor of positive
psychology he’s one of the grandfather’s
of the
movement he teaches at the University of
Pennsylvania his name is Martin
settlement and he studied happiness for
decades now one of the things that we’ve
talked about a lot is that 40 percent of
your happiness levels are preset by
genetics sixty percent you are in
complete control of and one of the
things that this professor has has
discovered is that it doesn’t matter
what’s happened to you in fact some of
the people that have had the worst
things the worst things happen to them
like people that have survived the
Holocaust are actually the happiest and
most grateful people in the world
happiness comes down to this right up
here comes down to your thoughts comes
down to your mindset it comes down to
your attitude and you are 100% control
of what you’re thinking you may not be
in control of how you feel in the moment
but you can always always always always
be in control of what you think and that
will change how you’re feeling one of
the most powerful things that you can do
in terms of think and this gets back to
strix question is how do you be present
being present is literally nothing more
than the skill of having your thoughts
be in this moment not in the past not in
the future but right here the way that
you teach yourself how to do that is
that the moment that you catch yourself
being distracted the moment you catch
yourself starting to worry the moment
you catch yourself drifting to the
future drifting to the past that’s a
moment of tremendous power because you
basically just woke up you basically
just notice that you’re not here in this
particular moment so use that wake-up
call 5 4 3 2 1 and ground yourself in
this moment the best way to ground
yourself in the moment is to look for
something in this particular moment that
you can savor now I’m using the word
savor on purpose because it’s the word
that psychologists use to describe what
happens when you find something in this
moment right now right here right now to
focus on and to appreciate it could be
literally the
questions these are these are printed
out questions from people on social
media and if I were to stop and look at
these and savor them what I would feel
in this moment is a tremendous amount of
gratitude because people are taking the
time to write and that makes me feel
incredibly grateful and it also makes me
very happy because it means that that
the folks that are writing are taking
control of their lives and seeking out
the information that they need another
form of savoring that we can all relate
to is eating as you’re eating instead of
drifting to the future and thinking
about all the things that you need to do
or hanging out in the past and rehashing
everything that’s happened during the
day be in this moment in this meal slow
down think about the food that you’re
eating think about the people that
you’re sitting with and how you feel
about them and if you want to take it up
a notch actually acknowledge okay this
food tastes amazing thank you for
cooking or I’m so glad to see you and
that we get the time to have this meal
together those small simple acts of
savoring are how you expand your
happiness inside the present moment so
how do you be more present simple the
moment that you catch yourself in the
future in the past worrying whatever
refocus yourself right here right now
and then find something right here right
now that you can savor and when you do
that you’re not only gonna be present
you’re gonna feel more grateful and
you’re gonna feel a little boost to
happiness skill number eight being
consistent success is not um its success
in our destination people always think
that oh my god this person so successful
because they’ve had a successful movie
or successful show but success is a
journey you have to consistently always
always be successful that’s when you’re
really successful because otherwise
you’ll be remembered for your last
failure and I’ve had a few but I just
have to compensate for my failure but
just getting up and running the more
time you take to sort of moan it
you’re wasting that much more time in
being successful so you just have to you
know perk up pick yourself up dust
yourself off and just say I work what
can I do this always a solution
you can’t expect
people always get mistaken that just
because it because this year has been
what it has been it’s been because I
consistently worked out for about ten
years so now I know my job enough to be
able to be appreciated for it but if I
hadn’t had the last ten years I would
never have had this year or the year
before that so success is not a
destination where you or power is not
like okay today you’re powerful
you have to consistently we powerful and
consistently be successful
and that is a journey skill number nine
is getting enough sleep well first of
all I prioritize sleep and that means
making that means saying no to things
you want to do it’s not easy there is
hard I think you’re noticing yeah last
night you know Sheryl Sandberg
interviewed me at the summer’s Co
symphony hall and then I had to sign
books and I would have loved to go and
have dinner with her but I went to bed
and you know because if I hadn’t got if
I’d gone out to dinner and hadn’t got my
at least seven hours sleep at I need and
had to get up early to do TV
I would not be enjoying being here with
you now and I’m really enjoying it and
now hon person present I’m not tired
and I hate being tired more than I hate
anything and skill number ten is having
empathy I’ve thought a lot about the
power of empathy in my work it’s the
current that connects me and my actual
pulse to a fictional character in a
made-up story it allows me to feel
pretend feelings and sorrows and
imagined pain and my nervous system is
sympathetically wired and it conducts
that current to you sitting in a movie
theater and to the woman sitting next to
you and to her friend so that we all
feel that it’s happening to us at the
same time it’s a very mysterious and
valuable resource of the human species
and women I think
access it most effortlessly we cry at
sad movies we don’t feel we lose face or
stature or position doing it we see a
news story that enrages us and we write
letters through tears our hearts
pounding I’ve often I used to wonder why
human beings developed these
inconvenient and embarrassing responses
this sniffling choking wet obstruction
you know the thing that physicians and
soldiers and stock traders and
journalists and fashion models and
politicians and news commentators and
venture capitalists all must suppress in
order to work most efficiently I thought
what possible value function could it
serve in the Darwinian scheme of you
know survival of the fittest and the
strongest and the most heavily armed no
seriously I thought why and how did we
evolve with this weak and useless
passion intact within the deep hearts
core and the answer as I’ve formulated
it to myself is that empathy is the
engine that powers all the best in us it
is what civilize –is us it is what
connects us thank you guys so much for
watching I hope you enjoyed I’d love to
know what did you think of this video
what did you take from it that you’re
going to apply immediately somehow to
your life or to your business what was
your favorite from the 10 and how you’re
gonna apply leave it on the comments
below really curious to find out also if
you think there’s an 11 12 13 that you
want to add to the list leave it down in
the comments I’m super curious to see
what you have
thank you guys again for watching I
believe in you hope you continue to
believe in yourself and whatever your
one word is much love see you soon
word is believe and I believe in people
more than they believe in themselves and
my sincere hope is that if you believe
in yourself as much as I believe in you
you’ll be able to change the planet so
to help you on your journey today I’m
doing a video on the ten skills that are
hard to learn but will pay off forever
and as always guys if you’re watching if
you hear something that really resonates
with you leave it down in the comments
below it’s much more likely to stick
with yourself and if you leave a comment
within the first few hours of the video
going live you have a chance to win one
of two daily prizes enjoy skill number
one is speaking up one of the things you
would want to be sure to do is whether
you like it or not get very comfortable
it may take a while with public speaking
for example I mean that that’s a an
asset that will last you fifty or sixty
years and it’s a liability if you don’t
like doing it or uncomfortable doing it
that also will ask you 50 or 60 years
and it’s a necessary skill skill number
two is being honest with yourself one of
the big things that all startups do is
they lie to themselves over and over and
over
mine’s faster mine’s cheaper mine’s
better mines this mines that no it’s not
and the reason it’s not is because
whoever it is you’re competing with it’s
not like they’re ignoring you it’s not
like oh my goodness this guy just
started on Shopify in the startup
competition he’s doing a million dollars
this year what was me I might as well
close up the doors what are they doing
I’m gonna copy what they’re doing and
now you’ve got to stay ahead and so you
know you’ve got to be very careful as an
entrepreneur to be brutally honest with
yourself and those are some of the
things that you’ll hear from me as a
mentor that you know know what you know
know what you don’t know but you’ve got
to know your business better than
anybody skill number three is having
confidence I don’t know if you’d agree
with me on this but in many ways one of
the key factors to legendary success
isn’t your natural ability it’s not
whether you have the right product it’s
not whether you’re in the right field
it’s not whether you’ve had a blessed
background it’s not whether you have the
right IQ I want you to really think
about and deconstruct and play with
maybe later tonight in your journal I
want you to deconstruct this idea of
confidence and it seems like a very
simple word but just think about it in
your own life when you have confidence
or we could even call it fire when you
have that fire within you that
confidence that interior bravery you
almost have this power to do whatever it
takes to get your brave vision done you
see in this world it’s not about you
know in many ways your strategy in your
business or your ability in your life
it’s about this thing called confidence
and we have all had these times in our
lives when we are full of confidence and
what other people see as a problem we
simply do see as an opportunity other
people see it as a stumbling block block
or a wall and we see it as a stepping
stone or this solution and so confidence
is symptom that you really want to wire
in confidence is something you really
want to develop confidence is a practice
confidence is a muscle and like any
muscle the more you focus on it and
practice it and train it the stronger
your confidence is gonna grow and I just
have to say it again when you are at a
place in your life when there is an
ongoing steady state stream of
confidence moving through your mindset
moving through your heart set you do the
heroic in your business and you achieve
the remarkable in your life skill number
four is listening Nelson Mandela is a
particularly special case study in the
leadership world because he is
universally regarded as a great leader
you can take other personalities and
depending on the nation you go to we
have different opinions about other
personalities but Nelson Mandela across
the world is universally regarded as a
great leader he was actually the son of
a tribal chief and he was asked one day
how did you learn to be a great leader
and he responded that he would go with
his father to tribal meetings
and he remembers two things when his
father would meet with other elders one
they would always sit in a circle and –
his father was always the last to speak
you’ll be told your whole life that you
need to learn to listen I would say that
you need to learn to be the last to
speak I see it in boardrooms every day
of the week even people who consider
themselves good leaders who may actually
be decent leaders will walk into a room
and say here’s the problem here’s what I
think but I’m interested in your opinion
let’s go around the room it’s too late
the skill to hold your opinions to
yourself until everyone has spoken does
two things one it gives everybody else
the feeling that they have been heard it
give me gives everyone else the ability
to feel that they have contributed and
two you get the benefit of hearing what
everybody else has to think before you
render your opinion the skill is really
to keep your opinions to yourself if you
agree with somebody don’t nod yes if you
disagree with somebody don’t nod no
simply sit there take it all in and the
only thing you’re allowed to do is ask
questions so that you can understand
what they mean and why they have the
opinion that they have you must
understand from where they are speaking
why they have the opinion they have not
just what they are saying and at the end
you will get your turn it sounds easy
it’s not practice being the last to
speak
that’s what Nelson Mandela did skill
number five is managing your time much
challenge in our generation is it
gradually – entertainment through
television through media through every
way possible we are living in a
generation of the dumbing down of
because we haven’t raided effectiveness
for busyness statistics say yes somebody
oughta clap no matter we are busier than
any other generation we have seen in the
last three to four hundred years we are
so busy where we are busier than a wall
within a one-armed wallpaper hanger
richest BSE bill you’ll get it later
don’t worry about anything it hits in a
minute we are just as busy as we can be
and we think because we’re busy
we’re effective but I want you to
challenge your schedule for a minute and
ask yourself are you are you really
being effective or is your life
cluttered with all kinds of stuff that
demands you and drains you and taxes you
and stops you from being your highest
and best self and are you substituting
busyness and all the chaos that goes
along with business from being effective
let me tell you a bunch of scientists
got together they begin to do some
research and they begin to determine
that 80% of the things we do are busy
things that we do in an area that is not
effective that the average person only
spends 20% of their time doing the
things that they are really gifted at
creating it passionate about excited to
do and the rest of it is all the dismal
dumb stuff that we all have to do in
order to survive just crazy stuff that
we’re doing wonder what would happen if
we would go from doing 80% of things
that are busy but not effective and 20%
of the things that are really effective
if we would switch those numbers around
and only give 20% of our time to the
things that we have to do and 80% of our
time to the thing that we were created
to do
wonder what would happen to your life
now think about it a minute I did a lot
of things you could take from me and I
could make it you could take my suit I
got another one you can take my car I
could get another one you could take my
house I could get another house but when
you take my time you have taken
something from me
that is totally irreplaceable we take
all kind of classes for money management
we know how to manage our money we know
how to repair our houses we’re working
on our hair and our bodies and all of
this kind of stuff we do everything
except the most important thing is to
value our time it takes time to be
creative you were meant to be creative
you were created in the likeness and the
image of a creator and in that likeness
and in that image you have creativity if
you had time you would be creative but
in the absence of time and with busyness
and clutters be the following baby baby
y’all got music playing on your phone
all kinds of stuff and no matter what
kind of song you put on after why you
hate to hear it because every time you
hear that sound you know it’s somebody
else one something else from you this
taking you away from what you are gifted
and creative to do skill number six is
stop whining so I have this thing that
I’ve been promoting called no whining
Wednesday’s Wednesday you cannot whine
complain or criticize and people like
well what is whine and whatever you
think it is don’t do it
and every time you do it you have to put
a quarter in a jar
if you whine about anything I can’t have
every one of them will cost you a
quarter or complaining why don’t you why
do you always how come you
I always they never cost you a quarter
then last week I had people send me
pictures of their jaws or quarters oh my
god but what they said to me also was
this was wonderful because I was never
ever aware of how much whining and
complaining and criticizing I do now
I’ve got Mother’s doing it with their
children so Wednesday is no whining
Wednesday we need to practice that we
need to stop whining about what isn’t
happening what we don’t have what we
can’t do what somebody didn’t do we got
to get it clean in 2014 no whining no
complaining no criticizing skill number
seven is staying present in the moment
if you’re living in the past you’re
gonna be depressed because you are
rehashing things that happen to you that
are not gonna happen again if you’re
living in the future you’re gonna be
anxious because you are anticipating
what’s coming or you’re wishing for
things that aren’t happening yet being
in the present is where the gold is
being in the present moment is where you
will have the greatest control where you
will feel the most at ease and where
happiness flourishes there’s a
super-tight connection between happiness
and the ability to live in the present
moment a lot of people believe that
happiness is tied to the things that
happen to you not so at all in fact
there is a professor of positive
psychology he’s one of the grandfather’s
of the
movement he teaches at the University of
Pennsylvania his name is Martin
settlement and he studied happiness for
decades now one of the things that we’ve
talked about a lot is that 40 percent of
your happiness levels are preset by
genetics sixty percent you are in
complete control of and one of the
things that this professor has has
discovered is that it doesn’t matter
what’s happened to you in fact some of
the people that have had the worst
things the worst things happen to them
like people that have survived the
Holocaust are actually the happiest and
most grateful people in the world
happiness comes down to this right up
here comes down to your thoughts comes
down to your mindset it comes down to
your attitude and you are 100% control
of what you’re thinking you may not be
in control of how you feel in the moment
but you can always always always always
be in control of what you think and that
will change how you’re feeling one of
the most powerful things that you can do
in terms of think and this gets back to
strix question is how do you be present
being present is literally nothing more
than the skill of having your thoughts
be in this moment not in the past not in
the future but right here the way that
you teach yourself how to do that is
that the moment that you catch yourself
being distracted the moment you catch
yourself starting to worry the moment
you catch yourself drifting to the
future drifting to the past that’s a
moment of tremendous power because you
basically just woke up you basically
just notice that you’re not here in this
particular moment so use that wake-up
call 5 4 3 2 1 and ground yourself in
this moment the best way to ground
yourself in the moment is to look for
something in this particular moment that
you can savor now I’m using the word
savor on purpose because it’s the word
that psychologists use to describe what
happens when you find something in this
moment right now right here right now to
focus on and to appreciate it could be
literally the
questions these are these are printed
out questions from people on social
media and if I were to stop and look at
these and savor them what I would feel
in this moment is a tremendous amount of
gratitude because people are taking the
time to write and that makes me feel
incredibly grateful and it also makes me
very happy because it means that that
the folks that are writing are taking
control of their lives and seeking out
the information that they need another
form of savoring that we can all relate
to is eating as you’re eating instead of
drifting to the future and thinking
about all the things that you need to do
or hanging out in the past and rehashing
everything that’s happened during the
day be in this moment in this meal slow
down think about the food that you’re
eating think about the people that
you’re sitting with and how you feel
about them and if you want to take it up
a notch actually acknowledge okay this
food tastes amazing thank you for
cooking or I’m so glad to see you and
that we get the time to have this meal
together those small simple acts of
savoring are how you expand your
happiness inside the present moment so
how do you be more present simple the
moment that you catch yourself in the
future in the past worrying whatever
refocus yourself right here right now
and then find something right here right
now that you can savor and when you do
that you’re not only gonna be present
you’re gonna feel more grateful and
you’re gonna feel a little boost to
happiness skill number eight being
consistent success is not um its success
in our destination people always think
that oh my god this person so successful
because they’ve had a successful movie
or successful show but success is a
journey you have to consistently always
always be successful that’s when you’re
really successful because otherwise
you’ll be remembered for your last
failure and I’ve had a few but I just
have to compensate for my failure but
just getting up and running the more
time you take to sort of moan it
you’re wasting that much more time in
being successful so you just have to you
know perk up pick yourself up dust
yourself off and just say I work what
can I do this always a solution
you can’t expect
people always get mistaken that just
because it because this year has been
what it has been it’s been because I
consistently worked out for about ten
years so now I know my job enough to be
able to be appreciated for it but if I
hadn’t had the last ten years I would
never have had this year or the year
before that so success is not a
destination where you or power is not
like okay today you’re powerful
you have to consistently we powerful and
consistently be successful
and that is a journey skill number nine
is getting enough sleep well first of
all I prioritize sleep and that means
making that means saying no to things
you want to do it’s not easy there is
hard I think you’re noticing yeah last
night you know Sheryl Sandberg
interviewed me at the summer’s Co
symphony hall and then I had to sign
books and I would have loved to go and
have dinner with her but I went to bed
and you know because if I hadn’t got if
I’d gone out to dinner and hadn’t got my
at least seven hours sleep at I need and
had to get up early to do TV
I would not be enjoying being here with
you now and I’m really enjoying it and
now hon person present I’m not tired
and I hate being tired more than I hate
anything and skill number ten is having
empathy I’ve thought a lot about the
power of empathy in my work it’s the
current that connects me and my actual
pulse to a fictional character in a
made-up story it allows me to feel
pretend feelings and sorrows and
imagined pain and my nervous system is
sympathetically wired and it conducts
that current to you sitting in a movie
theater and to the woman sitting next to
you and to her friend so that we all
feel that it’s happening to us at the
same time it’s a very mysterious and
valuable resource of the human species
and women I think
access it most effortlessly we cry at
sad movies we don’t feel we lose face or
stature or position doing it we see a
news story that enrages us and we write
letters through tears our hearts
pounding I’ve often I used to wonder why
human beings developed these
inconvenient and embarrassing responses
this sniffling choking wet obstruction
you know the thing that physicians and
soldiers and stock traders and
journalists and fashion models and
politicians and news commentators and
venture capitalists all must suppress in
order to work most efficiently I thought
what possible value function could it
serve in the Darwinian scheme of you
know survival of the fittest and the
strongest and the most heavily armed no
seriously I thought why and how did we
evolve with this weak and useless
passion intact within the deep hearts
core and the answer as I’ve formulated
it to myself is that empathy is the
engine that powers all the best in us it
is what civilize –is us it is what
connects us thank you guys so much for
watching I hope you enjoyed I’d love to
know what did you think of this video
what did you take from it that you’re
going to apply immediately somehow to
your life or to your business what was
your favorite from the 10 and how you’re
gonna apply leave it on the comments
below really curious to find out also if
you think there’s an 11 12 13 that you
want to add to the list leave it down in
the comments I’m super curious to see
what you have
thank you guys again for watching I
believe in you hope you continue to
believe in yourself and whatever your
one word is much love see you soon
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