okay good so I’m here with renessa we’re
not so tell me a little bit about your
business and how it can help awesome
thank you so much Evan for one helping
and wanting to be a part of the success
of what we’re doing here um my name is
renessa rios i own a company called
3-step dating it’s a dating service in
the Seattle area where we do matchmaking
single events and most of all I do
private coaching where I hope singles
who are shy are looking to get back into
the dating scene of one wondering where
to start and really supporting them in
the process of finding love so I’m been
doing well i have over 25,000 plus
singles in my database i host 80 events
a year i’ve been doing this since 2007
and now i’m looking to take my company
from the Seattle platform here and
taking it online not an online dating
service but more of the educational side
so really becoming a speaker online
really creating like a university online
and working with media and getting more
people that just want to do my tutorials
online my dating classes and things like
that I mean I’m wondering how I take
myself from this very much in person 80
events a year to taking the next step of
going to the online process what do my
first step of going there I’m you know
sending out you know from just being in
the Seattle market to growing my
database to other cities so are you
trying to build yourself up as a media
expert or are you trying to get this
from Seattle for the national or what
what’s the main goal here both of those
are my main goals can I do say all of
you guys can we do both both here okay
i’m at the same time yes I mean well
that should be worried about here do you
see my tagline for the person that wants
it all do you know where that comes yes
one could start this business tell me
why you started well i started the
dating service because i used to own
nightclubs i did that for over 10 years
so
being in the nightclub industry bar
restaurant lounge you’re dealing with
tons of singles that are coming out
trying to connect make new friends and
start you know nude of life and I was
helping singles doing wine tasting speed
dating events at my nightclub here in
Seattle and I started to see that a lot
of the women and men were not connecting
and they said oh Vanessa that’s the
Seattle freeze because I’m from
Scottsdale Arizona and they said this is
in Seattle it’s where men are in one
side of the room women are the other
side of the room and no one’s connecting
it’s called the Seattle freeze I said oh
my gosh are we gonna give you a dating
coach out here I looked online there
were no dating coaches so I was like oh
my gosh in the Seattle area so I was
like well what would it be like so i
looked at relationships pools dating
schools or you know life coaching to
kind of help people get over their fears
anxieties of approaching each other and
then from there I went ahead and
invested in a whole process of going
back to school and became a relationship
coach I wrote a book in 2008 had that
publish in 2009 i sold my nightclub in
2011 and then went full-time in helping
people you know finding love doing speed
dating single events matchmaking and
I’ve had great success so but all of it
is offline right all is it through your
vaginal insead yeah everything is
offline people I interview every person
in person I mean I do on my single
events in person I mean we are events
have anywhere between one to two hundred
people at every event so I mean they’re
just packed out in a local community we
have such a great process here in the
Seattle area and I feel like I’ve done
really well in my market and now I’m
going ok now let’s take this to the next
level where I can be like you know
anybody else I want to be sitting at
home and I’ve got people buying my
flirting videos people buying my how to
approach a person you’re interested in
and I’m you know here’s all these videos
and people are purchasing them and I’m
able to help them with their love life
all over the world let’s see a quick
flirting example a quick flirting
example ok so if I was flirting with you
is that what you’re thinking the first
thing that you’re going to want to do
when we’re looking at flirting is going
to be that eye contact and smiling so
before I even said one word to you I
want to give you my icon
and have a great smile just so you can
feel comfortable with me any woman that
her first in for a man when she’s
smiling he knows to go ahead approach
her talk to her he’s not going to feel
rejected so your smile is your key to
just getting the approach and then from
there in our conversation it’s going to
be really easy icebreakers what was your
best part of yesterday how what did you
enjoy doing this week just really find
out the positives of that person without
just asking topical questions of are you
from here well how did you move here
what do you do for a living but really
just engaging right from the beginning
on positive things so what was your best
part of this summer what are you looking
forward to things like that but that’s
topical conversations but flirting I
would probably want to start touching my
hair and adjusting myself to like start
showing you that I’m interested I might
even go a little sideways into you and
kind of lean in I would change the tone
of my voice so that way you would know
that I’m interested I wouldn’t speak so
high i would go ahead and work it with
just a little bit of a lower tone so
that’s just some of my rating yeah well
yeah it’s good i like it okay yeah
you’ve done feels already or they are
mine or this just a handful combined i
have videos i’m in the process right now
i have a production team I’m and this is
kind of that taking that next step Evan
of having a production team of putting
together these tutorial videos and then
now taking these videos and and making
them to wear their masks you know where
everyone can see them is that marketing
on facebook do i market online how do I
build a list that’s just outside of my
seattle area because i i’m in all the
publications out here I’m on the
National tell or the local television
networks here and now taking it to the
next level got it who was on your team
right now I have four people on my team
I have not including my staff of the
people that I do videos with um so I
haven’t got well my best best love of my
life my honey who is doing all of my
video editing he knows how to create all
of that wonderful stuff from the intro
to the adding the music all those
wonderful things um
and then also helping with some SEO on
those but again it’s taking it to not
just the local area bringing it like
dating coaching and dating university or
how to get that going on a national
platform and then also a global platform
with looking at Australia and Canada as
being two places we’re wanting to market
to okay you’re cutting in and out of it
I don’t know if you have anything else
happened online they might be able to
freeze while we’re chatting but I got I
got part of that okay um here’s the
thing if you want to do those projects
and have success you have to figure out
which one is going to be your main focus
because you’re going to get pulled in
too many directions or take what you do
in seattle and build that out across the
nation is going to be huge work that’s
what it’s yeah i think i’m very sure
what’s right that’s good yes keep going
that’s awesome I think you could do
really well as as the figurehead right
you talk while you flirt while you know
what you’re saying you had all the
experience I think you I think the media
would pick up on you really easily I
think you need to get your messaging
down a little bit so like what is it
that makes renessa so special okay um so
when you say hi I’m renessa you know
here’s what I do in that pitch you have
to quickly say what makes you different
than everybody else so I love this any
kind of controversial or uncommon type
of advising
I’m cutting out just a little bit i lost
you there any can I get really your
power director I get this right now yeah
okay there you are I lost you there
there we go okay good I was talking in
the screen with my blank lost your
connection there so I hear you left off
Evan on sharing about how to have a
strong message right from the beginning
so right when I introduce myself my name
is renessa Rio so I’m here to motivate
inspire and educate singles and love and
romance like that’s like what I’ve been
using so far but I think that’s ok
that’s ok yeah it’s ok it’s not great
but something a little more so it says
what you do yeah but won’t let you speak
to who you are ok no but that person who
wants a tall is maybe a little bit more
that that speaks to you yes it want to
do everything yes i do what do what
what’s different about you why is this
work so while in Seattle um I definitely
think it’s worked well because I’m so
personable you know I just really am
able to get in there and find out where
people are doing right and wrong in
their love life I can see the fears
right off the back my intuition it’s
just on key on point when it comes to
seeing people who are struggling with
you know just divorce sadness isolation
brokenhearted this you know they’re just
really afraid to trust again and even
though I’m like this great person that
can entertain my audience when I’m
speaking in a class are doing an
educational format when I’m one-on-one
with my client I really create a space
for them to really see where they’re
struggling and then give them
librium they were coming in and no
that’s okay um so the things that you
were talking about speak to you yeah
what I’m interested in is your process
because you helped all these people find
somebody right it’s not it’s not you
introducing 25,000 people to each other
there’s a process that you go through
that helps people overcome their fears
are getting believe they’re you know
subconscious issues what do you do that
really helps these people well I create
a space right from the beginning where
I’m pretty transparent and allowing them
to see where they’re struggling at I can
really help and you know just go right
in to what they’re currently doing now
in their dating life like I’ll say what
are you saying if you see somebody like
what do you do so I go right into their
actions you know it’s kind of like you
know right from the beginning what do
you do when you wake up in the morning
you know so I’m able to go right and at
the beginning of their day right when
they see somebody that they like and
really discover what they’re doing right
and wrong and then create baby steps for
them to see how they can improve daily
to wear their successfully introducing
themselves to where they’re in a
successful relationship because
sometimes people are so stuck up on just
saying hello to someone that for me to
give them the whole shebang of how to
flirt of how to get out there and
introduce yourself they’re not even
ready for that they’re still shy on just
saying hello so I have to feed the gauge
of where each individual client is at
and then create a process specific to
them that allows them to share things
like people I don’t know what to talk
about myself I just go to work I just go
to the gym I’m not really that
interesting so we’re able to create some
of maybe some charity that they’ve been
involved in we create some social skills
and techniques of what they’re doing and
create a month process where there are
even more than a few months process
where they now have a social life so
what they do introduce themselves to a
woman like oh yeah I’m working with you
know I’m a big brother at this charity
event or I’m socially connected at these
different platforms or what you know my
business is growing here my goal is here
so they actually have a dynamic
conversation versus just sitting at home
and television what are the three it’s
three step dating yeah 3 step dating
what are the three steps well there’s
single events matchmaking and coaching
but if you look at those are the three
things we offer but I also do an
internal process where you really look
at the inside of who you are what’s
holding you back from finding love the
external process who are you surrounded
by what do you do and then the verbal
process where when you do meet that
person how do you engage because really
it starts from the beginning and then it
starts by putting yourself in the right
environment and then it’s what you’re
pitching what are you saying so it’s
really putting those three processes
together and helping and a lot of people
are just stuck internally I’m not good
enough might you know i’m not feeling
become worthy enough so many people are
stuck at the beginning process but even
if you were to surround them with ten
beautiful women are 10 wonderful men
they won’t even know what to say how to
interact and they would sabotage their
love life so it really starts from the
brought out something like saying we can
help anybody through our simple
three-step process go from being single
and feeling self-conscious about
themselves and afraid to talk to people
to find in the love of their life yes I
love this a sink and then it begs the
question okay what’s a pre step process
mm-hmm and you want to focus on the
benefit to your clients so not not your
coaching events and the other third
thing it’s the three steps that you go
through to help them find the love of
their life so the benefits of being able
to create single events where they’re
going to have the opportunities to try
out their coaching with 10 new women
this Saturday so it’s one thing to learn
something how do you go try it out you
know and so I create environments for
them to try that out would that be
something that would be a benefit do you
think because I have shared that with a
lot of my clients before it works as
long as you’re involved the key thing
here is you want to be able to teach
people to do this on their own if you
want to build this all this is this is
the renessa the expert mode now this
isn’t let’s build this thing beyond
Seattle this let’s make you all
worldwide sensation yeah you have be
able to teach them how to do it on their
own without
having a renessa setting things up for
them that’s good have your three step
process I mean it’s already in your
tagline and even though you may have
meant two guys the 3 things that would
do we can flip it into you have to do
these three things and if you do it and
you follow my advice exactly you will go
from being lonely and depressed and
single freaking pocket people to finding
that person with a lovely life yes
explain to them how to do it on their
own with with coach Vanessa I said you
know climbing behind them giving them
encouragement it was through a book or
through podcasts or through videos
you’re constantly supporting them but
we’re empowering them to do this stuff
on their own hmm I love that so creating
an empowerment process for them to do it
on their own that’s and that’s where
it’s just the educational format nothing
where you know there’s obviously no
single events this is just a platform
all online for them to do this by
themselves with with what I would create
is like a network of support an online
platform of a network of support such as
the podcast the maybe a chat something
of that nature to really engage with
these folks online yeah I mean you don’t
necessarily have to facilitate
everything you want to make us that
deagol it’s great to use the three-step
dating technology and events but I don’t
absolutely have to because you may not
be able to hook people up in Hawaii when
I want y to be able to still use your
advice to go out and find the love of
their life so maybe it still is do
something online get involved in online
dating maybe it is going to speed events
or going to different singles events
maybe sign up for a salsa dance class I
don’t know what it is whatever your
processes that works ideally you can use
hey these are our three-step dating
events you can sign up for but if we’re
not in your area you still should go and
do this and you will find love hmm I
love that so being able to empower them
not to use me in the event process but
we want them to be coming back to me too
row in if they have a hiccup if they’re
getting if they’re feeling low if
they’re feeling sad if they’re you know
if they’re you know they’re getting
rejected you know so we want to create
that support system around that
absolutely you won’t be able to be an
international sensation if you’re
advocating things that are only
happening in Seattle that’s right so
that’s your first part and it’s also
figuring out along with it what you’re
what makes you different right like
there’s so many relationship experts and
coaches out there and it really sounds
like you’re a something that works and
i’m sure you know what it is it’s just
articulating that to the media to
potential partners to people who are
giving you interviews like what is so
special about you compared to everybody
else something different in your process
that makes love work or doesn’t bother
people what is it well i mean i but i
have used before that you know with my
process is definitely being like that
Mama of love you know like I really am
this mama of love I come in I take you
in I am able to support you encourage
you send you back out there you know you
fall down you scrape your knee you’re
crying you’re upset you come back you
know I really feel like I mean but again
I I’m not sure if that’s necessarily
gonna be what people are looking for
different um I mean I’m not the person’s
gonna scream and yell at them and tell
them that they’re doing things wrong and
horrible i think the world does that
enough um you know and so close like
that’s not scalable mama love isn’t
scalable cuz you don’t you be there
helping people one by one but your
message can be put across what I’m
looking for what are you teaching people
that is different from everybody else to
make them believe in themselves and to
make them go out and talk to people and
flirt with people something that works
because they may have read that stuff
yeah another place but you actually help
people make this thing work so why why
does that happen with you where they
haven’t be able to figure it out on
their own I believe
a great skill of building love from
within to show confidence so I really
feel like I help people build love from
within were they able to see how they
can love themselves and even when other
people have rejected them even when they
have felt that I’m able to scale that
and go okay yes we can have a whole list
of where our ex boyfriends are ex
girlfriends have done us wrong and now
we’re looking at who we are now and so
we start looking at from within the
start creating confidence of who they
are from within on what they enjoy what
makes them happy and then they start
bringing that out to their next
relationship and I’ve been successful
with matchmaking them that way I’m so if
you don’t love yourself the love of your
life won’t find you that’s right and you
teach people how to first love
themselves yes okay so that’s that’s
your step one and that’s something that
people can relate to write like there’s
a lot of people who don’t love
themselves so that’s that’s great what’s
the next step um once you yeah now that
you love yourself now it’s being able to
show people that you love yourself so
now it’s getting yourself surrounded by
others that you can share that love with
whether that’s an activity that both of
you can try together or an activity you
can get yourself invested in such as
salsa lessons such as be dating such as
going out to different networking and
social events charity events um you know
getting involved in the community so the
second step is going to be community
because I find out once you start moving
yourself you got to get yourself out
there so I would say the second step is
getting invested into your community so
you have to break the fear of trying
something new and get out there and
start meeting people even if it’s not in
a could be not in a formal dating
session yeah we’re just something fun
where it’s not necessarily going out to
meet somebody to you know fall in love
and that could just happen on its own
making me over yes okay so it’s our
second step what’s our third step is
three-step dating Barry vitalizing the
350 I love it um so I’m involved in my
community I’m meeting people now it now
I want to find the person so the
Thursday
is creating romance I mean this is where
our heart where we really are able to
start engaging with somebody that we’re
interested in creating a courtship and
being in showing that we have time
available in being able to know the
words of affirmation I love languages
complimenting that person having you
know creating that new opening in our
hearts to love and also to be loved so I
mean I think maybe that would be the
third step I think you know what
somebody is few people at this center at
this region are projecting complete
guarantee on it mm body what’s your
advice is somebody was afraid of being
rejected well there’s a lot of it by son
being rejected and we would see where
the rejection is coming from so the
first off before rejection even starts
by somebody else you’ve already said it
to ourselves so it’s all the internal
process so i believe reduction could go
even as far as step to a lot of people
are rejecting or rejecting even being
invested in a community and then now we
look at being invested into um romance
if you can’t even get out there into a
community it’s going to be really hard
to find romance okay but now what I
learn we’re in step 3 govorim question d
yeah is my biggest fear is still
rejection if you’re going to community
you’re surrounding yourself my friends
you’re surrounding yourself by making
new friends potentially the rejection is
going to start there in the community um
okay but if we take it to step 3 and
looking at that in the romance way
what’s going to happen is that we’re
going to have red flags so the red flags
are going to be now that you find
somebody you like you could be the red
flag in your communication and how you
are affectionate and your intimacy
factors and how you create a long
lasting relationship how you may have
doubts and fears and trusting issues so
even though you did really good in the
community and you found somebody who
likes you and you like them you could
really suck at relationships so and this
is where people that aren’t invested in
the community to do a lot of online
dating this is where they’re stuck at
they’ve created their community as an
online platform they go in a lot of
online dates and they’re not great at
relations
so you know they’re great at dates but
they’re not great at relationships so I
would you know if anything that their
step would be about relationships
romance and creating a successful
process in that space so what’s the fear
there is a so rejection why are why do
people suck at dating what’s the biggest
um the first one is going to be a
rejection that the firm n is rejection
women it’s trust so women have an issue
about trusting men depending on their
age factor um and then men have a you
know definitely a platform of feeling
like they’re going to be rejected by
somebody they’re interested in and it is
it because they let their past
relationships hold them back from oh
everything related to the past
absolutely and that’s what’s so
difficult when you have somebody who can
give you actual factual data saying hey
listen my last five girlfriends this
happened my last six boyfriends this
happened so now you’re trying to create
a new pattern based on statistics and
facts of what they emotionally mentally
and physically and spiritually and
psychologically went through over the
past three plus years you know that
their past so this is the messaging that
you need to tap into and you’re already
doing it when you’re talking to these
people one-on-one but when you’re
talking to the media and trying to build
the brand you have to punch it down a
lot more and be succinct it’s like you
have it it’s in you have the star
quality so three step process that’s
awesome the first one is helping people
love themselves if you don’t love
yourself you’ll never find the love of
your life yeah except to as you get over
your fear of getting out there I’m
meeting new people and whether that’s
something that’s a dating circle or just
going out and having fun you have to get
over that fear yes in step can’t let the
past hold you back from finding lovely
wife you can’t let past relationships
affect your ability to trust somebody
and be too afraid of being rejected by
somebody yes depending where somebody is
everybody can relate to that even people
who you know are in a relationship they
can think back to that time when they
were when they were there and yeah those
are
years of people have and if you could
tap into that it’s more powerful than
saying I help people find the love of
their life we’re like everybody says
that right all your competition says
that you’re your special right your
renessa you got the three-step process
so having something at the end clean I’m
like that and we say yes yet Oh having
something really clear the fine like
that and when somebody I sang thank you
dude when somebody asks what you do you
can articulate that it’s great and even
think what I just said and crunch that
down even more into two sentences okay
so that quickly understand what it is it
review that’s so gold is good i would i
would probably look at into something
I’ve done with my company to you know I
had my own business it was doing really
well and then I became a speaker and
being invited to the radio shows and TV
gigs and all that and I came into that
conflict of I’m doing all this stuff now
in the media and you know doing books
and radio shows and my business is
suffering as a result nothing was
happening it was just it was maintaining
you know where ever you focus that’s
what’s gonna grow yeah so I spent time
focusing on what was exciting for me all
this you know media opportunity and
partnerships and building my brand up
that I lost you know I didn’t turn my
eye to the other stuff and I had
somebody internally why promoted and
basically he’s running that division for
me so he’s running most of my company
well I can focus on the brand building
side of things so you don’t even have
like your concern isn’t even just
maintaining Seattle you want to grow
right i want this national international
you should know about three step dating
yeah so all the stuff you do on the
brand inside will help right if you’re
on if you go on CNN and you’re the
relationship person or you get on
whatever show radio TV newspaper that
all help build your brand but that’s
that’s a big job like that’s a full-time
job going out and doing all that stuff
and making your videos and getting well
known and building brand
renessa
you need somebody who’s going to do the
operations all the grunt work like if
you’re meeting all these people
originally you can’t not scalable right
you can’t do that across the country so
you need to figure out a model that will
work if it’s if it’s franchising it out
or if it’s having a key employee where
you can promote to then help you build
the rest of this thing out because
you’re not going to be able to be be
able to do both have a really strong
operation and also build up Vanessa yeah
I agree with that i’m in the process
right now of hiring um basically
certified life coaches and dating
coaches relationship coaches that are
going to school here locally in the
Seattle area to be a part of my staff
now so they can be interviewing they
could because they have that coaching
background they’re going to be able to
follow the three-step process i’m going
to put them through my own training of
what I went through and then also the
you know understanding of from all the
thousands of people I’ve interviewed and
giving them that real knowledge I’m and
then being able to select hopefully a
good two or three people to take on the
you know land platform this here the you
know mother lode here because again
that’s what’s feeding to be able to go
out and create an online platform
process you know I have to be able to
have that kind of in yeah and see if you
can groom somebody to go and scale this
what’s after seattle what’s the next
market for you as far as being able to
do um single events and things like that
I don’t want to do it anywhere else I
don’t want to do single events and
matchmaking I’ve been offered Portland
I’ve been offered San Francisco I really
just want to do the online and media
process now um I want to do it you go
lets you know that Miss business
national I want to take your brand
national but the actual events are all
local okay okay so you need you need an
ops manager you need somebody who can
run the ship make sure you’re still
making money still have some growth in
the local market well you can focus on
building up brand renessa yeah exactly
and i’m in the process I mean that so
fingers crossed
right now walks in or the right guy yeah
I mean it does it will take some time
and you don’t want to just launch
somebody into it and say he or go with
it because that’s that’s your baby right
that’s what’s making you money that’s
right oh it’s hard just give that up to
anybody but that that free enough of
your time will help you be able to focus
on the bigger picture stuff the more fun
exciting stuff that’ll help you don’t
take this thing big that’s so good thank
you so much oven I agree with that
completely so um that’s great this is an
awesome call I like that we want a few
connection issues but it was fun was fun
to connect listen what I want you to do
is get your messenger down a little bit
better we kind of worked a little bit on
it today yeah your messaging and then
email me or you know send me a message
on google chat whatever with your final
inch or pitch so it’s gonna be hi I’m
renessa I’m from three-step dating and
here’s what we do yeah I’ll give you
some feedback on it because that’s going
to be so crucial for you to get people
to pay attention to you because you’re
so you’re in a very competitive market
yeah and I route there’s so many people
who want to be like you who are four
relationship experts and I think you
have you have something like there’s
something that you have there that could
really be big yeah if you can figure out
the messaging properly and get that out
I’m excited I want to be able to say hey
I know renessa that’s awesome well thank
you so much I appreciate that and I will
email you of my messaging and and I
would love any of your words of support
you are such an inspiration to see how
you were doing it to follow those
footsteps to have a global brand where
you’re recognized everywhere like
yourself and you know I’m just so
thankful and humble for your support and
your words of wisdom there so thank you
no problem anytime all right all right
thanks for talk soon okay bye oven I
renessa
not so tell me a little bit about your
business and how it can help awesome
thank you so much Evan for one helping
and wanting to be a part of the success
of what we’re doing here um my name is
renessa rios i own a company called
3-step dating it’s a dating service in
the Seattle area where we do matchmaking
single events and most of all I do
private coaching where I hope singles
who are shy are looking to get back into
the dating scene of one wondering where
to start and really supporting them in
the process of finding love so I’m been
doing well i have over 25,000 plus
singles in my database i host 80 events
a year i’ve been doing this since 2007
and now i’m looking to take my company
from the Seattle platform here and
taking it online not an online dating
service but more of the educational side
so really becoming a speaker online
really creating like a university online
and working with media and getting more
people that just want to do my tutorials
online my dating classes and things like
that I mean I’m wondering how I take
myself from this very much in person 80
events a year to taking the next step of
going to the online process what do my
first step of going there I’m you know
sending out you know from just being in
the Seattle market to growing my
database to other cities so are you
trying to build yourself up as a media
expert or are you trying to get this
from Seattle for the national or what
what’s the main goal here both of those
are my main goals can I do say all of
you guys can we do both both here okay
i’m at the same time yes I mean well
that should be worried about here do you
see my tagline for the person that wants
it all do you know where that comes yes
one could start this business tell me
why you started well i started the
dating service because i used to own
nightclubs i did that for over 10 years
so
being in the nightclub industry bar
restaurant lounge you’re dealing with
tons of singles that are coming out
trying to connect make new friends and
start you know nude of life and I was
helping singles doing wine tasting speed
dating events at my nightclub here in
Seattle and I started to see that a lot
of the women and men were not connecting
and they said oh Vanessa that’s the
Seattle freeze because I’m from
Scottsdale Arizona and they said this is
in Seattle it’s where men are in one
side of the room women are the other
side of the room and no one’s connecting
it’s called the Seattle freeze I said oh
my gosh are we gonna give you a dating
coach out here I looked online there
were no dating coaches so I was like oh
my gosh in the Seattle area so I was
like well what would it be like so i
looked at relationships pools dating
schools or you know life coaching to
kind of help people get over their fears
anxieties of approaching each other and
then from there I went ahead and
invested in a whole process of going
back to school and became a relationship
coach I wrote a book in 2008 had that
publish in 2009 i sold my nightclub in
2011 and then went full-time in helping
people you know finding love doing speed
dating single events matchmaking and
I’ve had great success so but all of it
is offline right all is it through your
vaginal insead yeah everything is
offline people I interview every person
in person I mean I do on my single
events in person I mean we are events
have anywhere between one to two hundred
people at every event so I mean they’re
just packed out in a local community we
have such a great process here in the
Seattle area and I feel like I’ve done
really well in my market and now I’m
going ok now let’s take this to the next
level where I can be like you know
anybody else I want to be sitting at
home and I’ve got people buying my
flirting videos people buying my how to
approach a person you’re interested in
and I’m you know here’s all these videos
and people are purchasing them and I’m
able to help them with their love life
all over the world let’s see a quick
flirting example a quick flirting
example ok so if I was flirting with you
is that what you’re thinking the first
thing that you’re going to want to do
when we’re looking at flirting is going
to be that eye contact and smiling so
before I even said one word to you I
want to give you my icon
and have a great smile just so you can
feel comfortable with me any woman that
her first in for a man when she’s
smiling he knows to go ahead approach
her talk to her he’s not going to feel
rejected so your smile is your key to
just getting the approach and then from
there in our conversation it’s going to
be really easy icebreakers what was your
best part of yesterday how what did you
enjoy doing this week just really find
out the positives of that person without
just asking topical questions of are you
from here well how did you move here
what do you do for a living but really
just engaging right from the beginning
on positive things so what was your best
part of this summer what are you looking
forward to things like that but that’s
topical conversations but flirting I
would probably want to start touching my
hair and adjusting myself to like start
showing you that I’m interested I might
even go a little sideways into you and
kind of lean in I would change the tone
of my voice so that way you would know
that I’m interested I wouldn’t speak so
high i would go ahead and work it with
just a little bit of a lower tone so
that’s just some of my rating yeah well
yeah it’s good i like it okay yeah
you’ve done feels already or they are
mine or this just a handful combined i
have videos i’m in the process right now
i have a production team I’m and this is
kind of that taking that next step Evan
of having a production team of putting
together these tutorial videos and then
now taking these videos and and making
them to wear their masks you know where
everyone can see them is that marketing
on facebook do i market online how do I
build a list that’s just outside of my
seattle area because i i’m in all the
publications out here I’m on the
National tell or the local television
networks here and now taking it to the
next level got it who was on your team
right now I have four people on my team
I have not including my staff of the
people that I do videos with um so I
haven’t got well my best best love of my
life my honey who is doing all of my
video editing he knows how to create all
of that wonderful stuff from the intro
to the adding the music all those
wonderful things um
and then also helping with some SEO on
those but again it’s taking it to not
just the local area bringing it like
dating coaching and dating university or
how to get that going on a national
platform and then also a global platform
with looking at Australia and Canada as
being two places we’re wanting to market
to okay you’re cutting in and out of it
I don’t know if you have anything else
happened online they might be able to
freeze while we’re chatting but I got I
got part of that okay um here’s the
thing if you want to do those projects
and have success you have to figure out
which one is going to be your main focus
because you’re going to get pulled in
too many directions or take what you do
in seattle and build that out across the
nation is going to be huge work that’s
what it’s yeah i think i’m very sure
what’s right that’s good yes keep going
that’s awesome I think you could do
really well as as the figurehead right
you talk while you flirt while you know
what you’re saying you had all the
experience I think you I think the media
would pick up on you really easily I
think you need to get your messaging
down a little bit so like what is it
that makes renessa so special okay um so
when you say hi I’m renessa you know
here’s what I do in that pitch you have
to quickly say what makes you different
than everybody else so I love this any
kind of controversial or uncommon type
of advising
I’m cutting out just a little bit i lost
you there any can I get really your
power director I get this right now yeah
okay there you are I lost you there
there we go okay good I was talking in
the screen with my blank lost your
connection there so I hear you left off
Evan on sharing about how to have a
strong message right from the beginning
so right when I introduce myself my name
is renessa Rio so I’m here to motivate
inspire and educate singles and love and
romance like that’s like what I’ve been
using so far but I think that’s ok
that’s ok yeah it’s ok it’s not great
but something a little more so it says
what you do yeah but won’t let you speak
to who you are ok no but that person who
wants a tall is maybe a little bit more
that that speaks to you yes it want to
do everything yes i do what do what
what’s different about you why is this
work so while in Seattle um I definitely
think it’s worked well because I’m so
personable you know I just really am
able to get in there and find out where
people are doing right and wrong in
their love life I can see the fears
right off the back my intuition it’s
just on key on point when it comes to
seeing people who are struggling with
you know just divorce sadness isolation
brokenhearted this you know they’re just
really afraid to trust again and even
though I’m like this great person that
can entertain my audience when I’m
speaking in a class are doing an
educational format when I’m one-on-one
with my client I really create a space
for them to really see where they’re
struggling and then give them
librium they were coming in and no
that’s okay um so the things that you
were talking about speak to you yeah
what I’m interested in is your process
because you helped all these people find
somebody right it’s not it’s not you
introducing 25,000 people to each other
there’s a process that you go through
that helps people overcome their fears
are getting believe they’re you know
subconscious issues what do you do that
really helps these people well I create
a space right from the beginning where
I’m pretty transparent and allowing them
to see where they’re struggling at I can
really help and you know just go right
in to what they’re currently doing now
in their dating life like I’ll say what
are you saying if you see somebody like
what do you do so I go right into their
actions you know it’s kind of like you
know right from the beginning what do
you do when you wake up in the morning
you know so I’m able to go right and at
the beginning of their day right when
they see somebody that they like and
really discover what they’re doing right
and wrong and then create baby steps for
them to see how they can improve daily
to wear their successfully introducing
themselves to where they’re in a
successful relationship because
sometimes people are so stuck up on just
saying hello to someone that for me to
give them the whole shebang of how to
flirt of how to get out there and
introduce yourself they’re not even
ready for that they’re still shy on just
saying hello so I have to feed the gauge
of where each individual client is at
and then create a process specific to
them that allows them to share things
like people I don’t know what to talk
about myself I just go to work I just go
to the gym I’m not really that
interesting so we’re able to create some
of maybe some charity that they’ve been
involved in we create some social skills
and techniques of what they’re doing and
create a month process where there are
even more than a few months process
where they now have a social life so
what they do introduce themselves to a
woman like oh yeah I’m working with you
know I’m a big brother at this charity
event or I’m socially connected at these
different platforms or what you know my
business is growing here my goal is here
so they actually have a dynamic
conversation versus just sitting at home
and television what are the three it’s
three step dating yeah 3 step dating
what are the three steps well there’s
single events matchmaking and coaching
but if you look at those are the three
things we offer but I also do an
internal process where you really look
at the inside of who you are what’s
holding you back from finding love the
external process who are you surrounded
by what do you do and then the verbal
process where when you do meet that
person how do you engage because really
it starts from the beginning and then it
starts by putting yourself in the right
environment and then it’s what you’re
pitching what are you saying so it’s
really putting those three processes
together and helping and a lot of people
are just stuck internally I’m not good
enough might you know i’m not feeling
become worthy enough so many people are
stuck at the beginning process but even
if you were to surround them with ten
beautiful women are 10 wonderful men
they won’t even know what to say how to
interact and they would sabotage their
love life so it really starts from the
brought out something like saying we can
help anybody through our simple
three-step process go from being single
and feeling self-conscious about
themselves and afraid to talk to people
to find in the love of their life yes I
love this a sink and then it begs the
question okay what’s a pre step process
mm-hmm and you want to focus on the
benefit to your clients so not not your
coaching events and the other third
thing it’s the three steps that you go
through to help them find the love of
their life so the benefits of being able
to create single events where they’re
going to have the opportunities to try
out their coaching with 10 new women
this Saturday so it’s one thing to learn
something how do you go try it out you
know and so I create environments for
them to try that out would that be
something that would be a benefit do you
think because I have shared that with a
lot of my clients before it works as
long as you’re involved the key thing
here is you want to be able to teach
people to do this on their own if you
want to build this all this is this is
the renessa the expert mode now this
isn’t let’s build this thing beyond
Seattle this let’s make you all
worldwide sensation yeah you have be
able to teach them how to do it on their
own without
having a renessa setting things up for
them that’s good have your three step
process I mean it’s already in your
tagline and even though you may have
meant two guys the 3 things that would
do we can flip it into you have to do
these three things and if you do it and
you follow my advice exactly you will go
from being lonely and depressed and
single freaking pocket people to finding
that person with a lovely life yes
explain to them how to do it on their
own with with coach Vanessa I said you
know climbing behind them giving them
encouragement it was through a book or
through podcasts or through videos
you’re constantly supporting them but
we’re empowering them to do this stuff
on their own hmm I love that so creating
an empowerment process for them to do it
on their own that’s and that’s where
it’s just the educational format nothing
where you know there’s obviously no
single events this is just a platform
all online for them to do this by
themselves with with what I would create
is like a network of support an online
platform of a network of support such as
the podcast the maybe a chat something
of that nature to really engage with
these folks online yeah I mean you don’t
necessarily have to facilitate
everything you want to make us that
deagol it’s great to use the three-step
dating technology and events but I don’t
absolutely have to because you may not
be able to hook people up in Hawaii when
I want y to be able to still use your
advice to go out and find the love of
their life so maybe it still is do
something online get involved in online
dating maybe it is going to speed events
or going to different singles events
maybe sign up for a salsa dance class I
don’t know what it is whatever your
processes that works ideally you can use
hey these are our three-step dating
events you can sign up for but if we’re
not in your area you still should go and
do this and you will find love hmm I
love that so being able to empower them
not to use me in the event process but
we want them to be coming back to me too
row in if they have a hiccup if they’re
getting if they’re feeling low if
they’re feeling sad if they’re you know
if they’re you know they’re getting
rejected you know so we want to create
that support system around that
absolutely you won’t be able to be an
international sensation if you’re
advocating things that are only
happening in Seattle that’s right so
that’s your first part and it’s also
figuring out along with it what you’re
what makes you different right like
there’s so many relationship experts and
coaches out there and it really sounds
like you’re a something that works and
i’m sure you know what it is it’s just
articulating that to the media to
potential partners to people who are
giving you interviews like what is so
special about you compared to everybody
else something different in your process
that makes love work or doesn’t bother
people what is it well i mean i but i
have used before that you know with my
process is definitely being like that
Mama of love you know like I really am
this mama of love I come in I take you
in I am able to support you encourage
you send you back out there you know you
fall down you scrape your knee you’re
crying you’re upset you come back you
know I really feel like I mean but again
I I’m not sure if that’s necessarily
gonna be what people are looking for
different um I mean I’m not the person’s
gonna scream and yell at them and tell
them that they’re doing things wrong and
horrible i think the world does that
enough um you know and so close like
that’s not scalable mama love isn’t
scalable cuz you don’t you be there
helping people one by one but your
message can be put across what I’m
looking for what are you teaching people
that is different from everybody else to
make them believe in themselves and to
make them go out and talk to people and
flirt with people something that works
because they may have read that stuff
yeah another place but you actually help
people make this thing work so why why
does that happen with you where they
haven’t be able to figure it out on
their own I believe
a great skill of building love from
within to show confidence so I really
feel like I help people build love from
within were they able to see how they
can love themselves and even when other
people have rejected them even when they
have felt that I’m able to scale that
and go okay yes we can have a whole list
of where our ex boyfriends are ex
girlfriends have done us wrong and now
we’re looking at who we are now and so
we start looking at from within the
start creating confidence of who they
are from within on what they enjoy what
makes them happy and then they start
bringing that out to their next
relationship and I’ve been successful
with matchmaking them that way I’m so if
you don’t love yourself the love of your
life won’t find you that’s right and you
teach people how to first love
themselves yes okay so that’s that’s
your step one and that’s something that
people can relate to write like there’s
a lot of people who don’t love
themselves so that’s that’s great what’s
the next step um once you yeah now that
you love yourself now it’s being able to
show people that you love yourself so
now it’s getting yourself surrounded by
others that you can share that love with
whether that’s an activity that both of
you can try together or an activity you
can get yourself invested in such as
salsa lessons such as be dating such as
going out to different networking and
social events charity events um you know
getting involved in the community so the
second step is going to be community
because I find out once you start moving
yourself you got to get yourself out
there so I would say the second step is
getting invested into your community so
you have to break the fear of trying
something new and get out there and
start meeting people even if it’s not in
a could be not in a formal dating
session yeah we’re just something fun
where it’s not necessarily going out to
meet somebody to you know fall in love
and that could just happen on its own
making me over yes okay so it’s our
second step what’s our third step is
three-step dating Barry vitalizing the
350 I love it um so I’m involved in my
community I’m meeting people now it now
I want to find the person so the
Thursday
is creating romance I mean this is where
our heart where we really are able to
start engaging with somebody that we’re
interested in creating a courtship and
being in showing that we have time
available in being able to know the
words of affirmation I love languages
complimenting that person having you
know creating that new opening in our
hearts to love and also to be loved so I
mean I think maybe that would be the
third step I think you know what
somebody is few people at this center at
this region are projecting complete
guarantee on it mm body what’s your
advice is somebody was afraid of being
rejected well there’s a lot of it by son
being rejected and we would see where
the rejection is coming from so the
first off before rejection even starts
by somebody else you’ve already said it
to ourselves so it’s all the internal
process so i believe reduction could go
even as far as step to a lot of people
are rejecting or rejecting even being
invested in a community and then now we
look at being invested into um romance
if you can’t even get out there into a
community it’s going to be really hard
to find romance okay but now what I
learn we’re in step 3 govorim question d
yeah is my biggest fear is still
rejection if you’re going to community
you’re surrounding yourself my friends
you’re surrounding yourself by making
new friends potentially the rejection is
going to start there in the community um
okay but if we take it to step 3 and
looking at that in the romance way
what’s going to happen is that we’re
going to have red flags so the red flags
are going to be now that you find
somebody you like you could be the red
flag in your communication and how you
are affectionate and your intimacy
factors and how you create a long
lasting relationship how you may have
doubts and fears and trusting issues so
even though you did really good in the
community and you found somebody who
likes you and you like them you could
really suck at relationships so and this
is where people that aren’t invested in
the community to do a lot of online
dating this is where they’re stuck at
they’ve created their community as an
online platform they go in a lot of
online dates and they’re not great at
relations
so you know they’re great at dates but
they’re not great at relationships so I
would you know if anything that their
step would be about relationships
romance and creating a successful
process in that space so what’s the fear
there is a so rejection why are why do
people suck at dating what’s the biggest
um the first one is going to be a
rejection that the firm n is rejection
women it’s trust so women have an issue
about trusting men depending on their
age factor um and then men have a you
know definitely a platform of feeling
like they’re going to be rejected by
somebody they’re interested in and it is
it because they let their past
relationships hold them back from oh
everything related to the past
absolutely and that’s what’s so
difficult when you have somebody who can
give you actual factual data saying hey
listen my last five girlfriends this
happened my last six boyfriends this
happened so now you’re trying to create
a new pattern based on statistics and
facts of what they emotionally mentally
and physically and spiritually and
psychologically went through over the
past three plus years you know that
their past so this is the messaging that
you need to tap into and you’re already
doing it when you’re talking to these
people one-on-one but when you’re
talking to the media and trying to build
the brand you have to punch it down a
lot more and be succinct it’s like you
have it it’s in you have the star
quality so three step process that’s
awesome the first one is helping people
love themselves if you don’t love
yourself you’ll never find the love of
your life yeah except to as you get over
your fear of getting out there I’m
meeting new people and whether that’s
something that’s a dating circle or just
going out and having fun you have to get
over that fear yes in step can’t let the
past hold you back from finding lovely
wife you can’t let past relationships
affect your ability to trust somebody
and be too afraid of being rejected by
somebody yes depending where somebody is
everybody can relate to that even people
who you know are in a relationship they
can think back to that time when they
were when they were there and yeah those
are
years of people have and if you could
tap into that it’s more powerful than
saying I help people find the love of
their life we’re like everybody says
that right all your competition says
that you’re your special right your
renessa you got the three-step process
so having something at the end clean I’m
like that and we say yes yet Oh having
something really clear the fine like
that and when somebody I sang thank you
dude when somebody asks what you do you
can articulate that it’s great and even
think what I just said and crunch that
down even more into two sentences okay
so that quickly understand what it is it
review that’s so gold is good i would i
would probably look at into something
I’ve done with my company to you know I
had my own business it was doing really
well and then I became a speaker and
being invited to the radio shows and TV
gigs and all that and I came into that
conflict of I’m doing all this stuff now
in the media and you know doing books
and radio shows and my business is
suffering as a result nothing was
happening it was just it was maintaining
you know where ever you focus that’s
what’s gonna grow yeah so I spent time
focusing on what was exciting for me all
this you know media opportunity and
partnerships and building my brand up
that I lost you know I didn’t turn my
eye to the other stuff and I had
somebody internally why promoted and
basically he’s running that division for
me so he’s running most of my company
well I can focus on the brand building
side of things so you don’t even have
like your concern isn’t even just
maintaining Seattle you want to grow
right i want this national international
you should know about three step dating
yeah so all the stuff you do on the
brand inside will help right if you’re
on if you go on CNN and you’re the
relationship person or you get on
whatever show radio TV newspaper that
all help build your brand but that’s
that’s a big job like that’s a full-time
job going out and doing all that stuff
and making your videos and getting well
known and building brand
renessa
you need somebody who’s going to do the
operations all the grunt work like if
you’re meeting all these people
originally you can’t not scalable right
you can’t do that across the country so
you need to figure out a model that will
work if it’s if it’s franchising it out
or if it’s having a key employee where
you can promote to then help you build
the rest of this thing out because
you’re not going to be able to be be
able to do both have a really strong
operation and also build up Vanessa yeah
I agree with that i’m in the process
right now of hiring um basically
certified life coaches and dating
coaches relationship coaches that are
going to school here locally in the
Seattle area to be a part of my staff
now so they can be interviewing they
could because they have that coaching
background they’re going to be able to
follow the three-step process i’m going
to put them through my own training of
what I went through and then also the
you know understanding of from all the
thousands of people I’ve interviewed and
giving them that real knowledge I’m and
then being able to select hopefully a
good two or three people to take on the
you know land platform this here the you
know mother lode here because again
that’s what’s feeding to be able to go
out and create an online platform
process you know I have to be able to
have that kind of in yeah and see if you
can groom somebody to go and scale this
what’s after seattle what’s the next
market for you as far as being able to
do um single events and things like that
I don’t want to do it anywhere else I
don’t want to do single events and
matchmaking I’ve been offered Portland
I’ve been offered San Francisco I really
just want to do the online and media
process now um I want to do it you go
lets you know that Miss business
national I want to take your brand
national but the actual events are all
local okay okay so you need you need an
ops manager you need somebody who can
run the ship make sure you’re still
making money still have some growth in
the local market well you can focus on
building up brand renessa yeah exactly
and i’m in the process I mean that so
fingers crossed
right now walks in or the right guy yeah
I mean it does it will take some time
and you don’t want to just launch
somebody into it and say he or go with
it because that’s that’s your baby right
that’s what’s making you money that’s
right oh it’s hard just give that up to
anybody but that that free enough of
your time will help you be able to focus
on the bigger picture stuff the more fun
exciting stuff that’ll help you don’t
take this thing big that’s so good thank
you so much oven I agree with that
completely so um that’s great this is an
awesome call I like that we want a few
connection issues but it was fun was fun
to connect listen what I want you to do
is get your messenger down a little bit
better we kind of worked a little bit on
it today yeah your messaging and then
email me or you know send me a message
on google chat whatever with your final
inch or pitch so it’s gonna be hi I’m
renessa I’m from three-step dating and
here’s what we do yeah I’ll give you
some feedback on it because that’s going
to be so crucial for you to get people
to pay attention to you because you’re
so you’re in a very competitive market
yeah and I route there’s so many people
who want to be like you who are four
relationship experts and I think you
have you have something like there’s
something that you have there that could
really be big yeah if you can figure out
the messaging properly and get that out
I’m excited I want to be able to say hey
I know renessa that’s awesome well thank
you so much I appreciate that and I will
email you of my messaging and and I
would love any of your words of support
you are such an inspiration to see how
you were doing it to follow those
footsteps to have a global brand where
you’re recognized everywhere like
yourself and you know I’m just so
thankful and humble for your support and
your words of wisdom there so thank you
no problem anytime all right all right
thanks for talk soon okay bye oven I
renessa
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