was a day that I became wealthy I’ll
take me a day I know that day I was rich
I was broke I was pissed I was angry at
everybody else but who myself but really
underneath it was mad at myself
I just couldn’t beat myself up anymore
sauce pissed and I had a friend that I
loaned money to and I had barely enough
and I knew he needed it and I gave him
$1,200 and I’m here not able to eat I’m
down to like 25 26 dollars and I’m sandy
em calling him and he’s not returning my
call and I just need some money and he’s
ignoring me I did mean ordinance I’m
pissed I’m frustrated in the midst of
all this I’m also pragmatic I got 25 and
changed called $26 what the hell am I
gonna do I don’t have any plans for
economics I got over it that’s crazy I’m
living this little tiny apartment for
and it’s square feet and it’s California
so I thought okay when I was totally
broke earlier on when I’m 17 I used to
save my money up and go to the
smorgasbord and load up for a Christmas
you know load up for the week so I said
I was in Venice I’m gonna go over to
Marina del Rey where all the yachts are
and this place there called El Torito
and I’m gonna go they have an
all-you-can-eat smorgasbord I’m gonna
load up for the winter I’m gonna get
there so I didn’t drive there because I
wasn’t gonna spend the gas to get there
plus I need the walk so I walked there
and I go in I’m not dressed really great
but Marina del Rey it’s okay and I got a
place right by the window I can see
these yachts going by and I’m dreaming
of what life could be like and I’m
starting to let go of my anger and I’m
starting to start focus on what I want
instead of what I don’t want family
follow say I and that shifted me just a
bit and now I’m eating which shifted me
a lot and I got this giant plate stacked
up and I don’t know what the Mount was
is like whatever it was 695 795 right so
I’m gonna do this I can probably do this
three or four times right somewhere that
range as I’m finishing my meal this
little boy comes in dressed in a little
suit and I honestly don’t know how old
he be probably in the third grade so
maybe eight years old nine years old
something like that and he was so
adorable and he opened the door for his
mother
as long as attractive lady and he came
over he pull out the seat four and she
sat down and I was she was a pretty lady
but as finished she was I was totally
obsessed as boy he was just he had
presence at seven or eight years old and
it moved me I don’t know I just didn’t
move me and I thought this kid is like
pure geez I wanted to always be this way
he’s such a good kid he’s a giver so I
got up and I paid for the meal and
whatever it was six seven bucks so now
I’ve got whatever left 17 18 19 dollars
and I walk up this little boy I said
excuse me
and I said I just want acknowledge you
for being such an extraordinary
gentleman I said I saw the way you
treated your lady how you open the door
how you pulled the chair out
I said that’s class I said my name’s
Tony what’s yours then are honest
members named Charlie or something he
looked up to me and I said Charlie I
said that’s amazing taking your data for
lunch like this
[Music]
I said that’s even more cool nice any
sale but I’m not taking a lunch cuz I’m
just I think he said it was eight I said
oh yes you are
I had no plan for this he’s reaching my
pocket I took all the money I had left
17 18 19 dollars and I put on the table
I said you’re taking her to lunch he
looked up at me and he goes I can’t take
that
I said sure you can he said why cuz I’m
bigger than you are
and he smiled real big and I didn’t even
look at his mom I just turned and walked
away and I didn’t walk out of that door
flew home I should have been freaking
out how am I gonna eat but I didn’t I
flew because something inside of me had
finally got past scarcity have finally
realized there’s something inside of us
more than our limits especially on this
thing called money that I had let
terrorize me I got home and the mailman
came that day and I had no idea I was
gonna have my next meal
if letter comes and it’s from the guy I
loaned the money to
handwritten notes saying I’ve been
avoiding you it’s wrong I’m so sorry you
were there when I needed you here’s what
I owe you plus a little bit more and the
12-under was there plus another hundred
for the time that I had to take care of
and for me thirteen or dollars that was
enough to like run my show for a month
or two and I cried and then I decided
what does this mean I thought this means
that whenever you give it’s always gonna
come back so you don’t have to ever
think about that but again just give the
rewards be great and you can ever
imagine I don’t know if that’s
coincidence but I decided to believe
that day was the blessing when I became
rich and I can tell you honestly I’ve
had tough days and I’ve economically
emotionally like all of us but I’ve
never gone back to scarcity I never will
the secret to living is giving do it
when you don’t have it but I promise you
scarcity will leave your life somebody
comes and says John I want to be a
leader I was asking the question why why
do you want to be a leader I mean you
want to be a leader because you want a
corner office do you wanna be a leader
because you like to be in control you
like to want to be a leader because you
love to be in the front of the pack do
you want to be a leader because you want
to have a good parking place what do you
want to be a leader because leadership
is an easy leadership a lot of times
isn’t fun leadership a lot of times it’s
kind of lonely
there’s only one reason to be a leader
and that is to add value to people and
you and I will only add value to people
if we truly value them I have a
nonprofit organization equipped this
trained almost 2 million leaders
internationally around the world and I
kid you not as I go to developing
countries twice a year and I travel
internationally and I sit down sometimes
I have the privilege of being in the
office there’s a presidents of countries
and as I watch these two developing
countries the thing that is the cardinal
sin among leadership so much is that
they have leaders of their countries
that truly don’t value the people and if
you and I don’t value people we will
devalue people number two if you want to
add value to people you have to make
yourself more valuable
you just have to get better you have to
keep growing you have to keep learning
you have to keep developing why very
simply if you’re leading the pack you’ve
got to be able to give what you have and
you can’t give what you don’t have and
so therefore you’ve got to put a lot of
good stuff in so that you can pass it on
to others and share with them and and
add value to them thirdly if you want to
add value to people you have to know and
relate to what other people value you
and I have to walk slowly to the crowd
we have to listen we have to care you
see great leaders are first of all
listeners and then they’re learners and
then their leaders they really do take
their cue from the people they
understand that the key of leadership is
connecting with the people that you lead
and the only way that you and I ever
connect is by caring enough to listen
number four is very important to me when
I’m speaking in the business community I
always share with them that for them
there are three ways to add value to
people but for me there are four and I
tell them I’ll give them the three and
then that’s all I’ll spend maybe an hour
doing those three things I just shared
with you talking about how to add value
to people and inevitably when I’m done
with the three somebody raise their hand
say John you said there for you there
was four but you said there’s only three
for us I said yes it’s nothing personal
but this is about my faith and so I
don’t really need to share this with you
it’s because I’m trying to help you and
I I don’t want to cross boundaries with
you and never everybody they’ll say but
John tell us what yours is and I’ll say
well okay you can hear mine but don’t
whenever people fail to achieve their
goals 99.9% of time you ask him why
they’ll tell you it’s because of a lack
of resources that’s what all these
things are I didn’t have the support
right I didn’t have the money we didn’t
have the time we didn’t have this we
know that there’s a resource that people
believe is missing and that resource
belief structure then keeps people from
ever being able to really lead because
what leaders do is they find a way to
maximize whatever resources they have
has little as they may be and they don’t
believe in limited resources I’ll give
an example take a business example to
start with in 1974 I can’t even Walton
had built his little company up the
cable that idea he started with $20,000
and I think 1962 if I remember right but
by 1974 within 12 years he had 78 stores
and you know I did it in the middle of
the night he drive across border and
he’d go and study other people’s stores
he’d buy everything the cheapest he
could in the middle tonight he’d go to
the people’s stores whatever was working
he figured out success leaves Clues he
came back and did in his store whatever
was working in any store in any
competitor anywhere he could do it he
did it so he forgot to maximize the
little resources he had his twenty
thousand build 78 stores and if you read
any of the people following him the
company’s gone public in that year they
were all saying this is it he’s
maximized his resources I mean only have
so much money there’s only so many
cities that are gonna appeal to this
discounting mentality right this is it
this is all he can do and the word of
Wall Street was self now what’s
interesting is at that time you look at
Sears and Kmart and they were gargantuan
companies weren’t that 20 30 40 52 times
a hundred times his size or more
probable and at that time they were the
leaders and they knew what’s gonna
happen but two things change yes or no
did he suddenly get mass amounts of
capital no here’s what they didn’t
understand Sam Walton now for the Walton
organization Walmart is the most
successful retailing operation on earth
and when you talk about Bill Gates being
the richest man in the world that’s only
true because Sam’s fortune has divided
up amongst a bunch of different family
members
you put them together they dwarf Bill
Gates Sam Walton did this how did he do
it what people underestimated is that
this guy could go to 4,400 stores do 250
billion
where’s Kmart today and they’ve been
shrinking all them in shrinking and he’s
the dominant force on earth here’s the
thing he understood resources are
interesting but the ultimate resources
are the feelings of emotion that make
you resourceful think of it this way
resourcefulness is the ultimate resource
what do I mean what are the emotions
that make all this possible what’s the
fuel that takes an idea from being in
your head well you wouldn’t you’ll
actually know what to do how many got an
idea for example was a great idea you’re
excited about it and then you didn’t do
anything one day there you saw it on the
Shelf you saw it somewhere someone stole
your idea how many had this happened say
ah the only didn’t seen you and that
person was not that they had more
resources they were more resourceful
times you had somebody say have you got
[Music]
I read a poem one time I said I have
only just met only 60 seconds in it was
forced upon me I can’t refuse it I
didn’t seek it and I didn’t choose it
but it’s up to me to use it I must
suffer if I lose it give a counter paya
beautiful it’s only a tiny little minute
but eternity is in it well any rate I
thought I’m gonna put this on a video
I’m just gonna share it with everybody
just this one little part out of the
seminar I’m making I want you to look at
this Sam timer and let this I want you
to think about your life the sand in the
top of the glass represents the future
the sand and the bottom of the glass
represents the past now Genoa we know
what’s in the past and yet we can’t do
anything about it do you know what the
trick is you don’t know how much sands
and the top of the glass you may think
you have a lot you might only have a
look then again you may think you have a
little and you might have a look when I
was a little boy I was raised by my
grandmother and I don’t know when I was
a little guy after she probably 60 but
as long as I can remember it red would
say no so be good there also be good
well you know we loved her she was
really an angel a god but we thought you
was never gonna go she lived to be 94
for 30-some years I’ll soon be born
she didn’t think she had much time left
she had 34 years well now about the same
time I had a buddy of mine Bob Yates he
was just 16 and bang he run into the
abutment of a bridge and his life was
snuffed out if you had asked him a half
hour before how much sand he had left he
would have said at least a half a
century he didn’t have a half an hour
see the trick is we don’t know how much
sand we have left the future we don’t
know the past it’s gone now the only
thing you can deal with is what’s right
here right now and if you look the sand
is always moving now think of this you
see I was working on that and then I was
working on a graph I’ve got here at my
computer and I’m thinking at the time
somebody said – have you got a minute
well they don’t really want a minute do
you know if you’re earning $50,000 a
year and minutes 42 cents a half hours
$12.50 if we take that ahead a bit if
you’re earning $80,000 a year a minute
67 cents half hours $20 yearning a
hundred and fifty thousand dollars a
year got a minute and then it cost you a
dollar twenty-five a minute a half hours
thirty seven dollars and fifty cents so
do you see if somebody said you want to
stop for a cup of coffee well if you’re
earning a quarter of a million dollars a
year a minute is two dollars and eight
cents half hours sixty two dollars and
fifty cents and then of course you’ve
got the coffee to pay for on top of that
so do you see the point is this this is
all we’ve got right here right now we
don’t know how much we have left in the
future but we do know what we’ve got now
and I have found the people that win are
the people who make up their mind
they’re not going to waste the minutes
they’re going to be productive they’re
gonna make it happen every minute
that’s what I’ve created for my life and
anyone I know succeeded I’m a 17 year
old kid from Azusa California with no
real education other than self education
with no background with parents that did
their best all of them with no money but
I did one thing I love people and I had
an enormous demand I made it by myself
and I sculpted my mind and my emotions
to get me to do whatever it would take
to achieve and to contribute but to do
that I did it by using my body and
changing my focus I did it by putting
myself in a peak physiology and using
what I call incantations can you train
yourself to believe something yes or no
absolutely how many have ever made the
fatal mistake of going to Disneyland or
Disney World and while you’re there made
the fatal mistake of going to a ride
called it’s a small world after all what
happens for about a week after you’re
out of that damn place you’re still
singing this thing in your hand in 24
languages right let me tell you
something how many of you have things
when you want to achieve them and this
part of your voice goes off not gonna
happen or forget it
I’m gonna go to voices sometimes
interrupts that good pattern say what
you want to do is train a new one so
starting when I was 17 I started doing
incantations not affirmations
affirmation you go home happy I’m happy
I’m Anthea Anthea many what’s the
problem you haven’t changed your what
your what physiology if you don’t change
your physiology you won’t get anything
so in incantations you only you speak it
but you embody what you’re saying with
all the intensity you can and you do it
with enough repetitions that it sticks
in your head like it’s a small world now
the conversation your head is always the
same and it gives you what you want so
use your body and your voice so 17 years
ago I started doing things I was working
for Jim Rohn this speaker and I was 17
years old I had long hair minestrone
soup acne on my face and I was trying to
call on Bear Stearns type of people and
convince them why they should go to this
man seminar be more successful I was
driving a 1968 Volkswagen
I’d earn at $40 a week as a janitor the
only way I did it was parked far from
the building and then go in and I love
people I believe but I put myself in
state and I was able to influence people
that were far more successful I was at
the time I will do something that I
still do backstage and have done for 23
years because I don’t hope I’m gonna be
a good stay I demand it
so I do an incantation using my whole
body it’s a now command my subconscious
mind to direct me and helping as many
people as possible live today to better
their lives they gave me the strength
the emotion the persuasion the humor the
brevity whatever it takes
you surely feel and get these people to
change their lives now I will do that
literally driving in my Volkswagen to a
meeting in LA on the freeway for 40
minutes people looking I’m screaming to
pop my lungs they’re going I know he’s a
serial killer I know he is but by the
time I entered that room when two people
meet if there’s a report the person
who’s most certain I was certain and
they were trying to get revved up to
certainty give you this yes or no I do
another one because I was poor I changed
my mindset I kept doing things but I
never got beyond it
I’d say gods wealth is circulating in my
life as wealth flows to me and
avalanches of abundance all my needs
desires and goals are met
instantaneously by infinite intelligence
for I’m one with God and God is
everything and I would imagine the
abundance of my life when I would feel
so grateful and a year later I went for
making thirty eight thousand dollars a
like iíve had a lot of bad health in the
last year and having to rewrite rule
seven coincided with one of those
periods that lasted about a month and it
was was the hardest chapter by far and
it went down the deepest by far and it
was really hard to get right it’s called
do what is meaningful not what is
expedient and I’ll just tell you a
little bit about the chapter because I
figured something out in it that and
then explained it something that took me
decades to figure out so there’s this
idea it’s a it’s a very deep Christian
idea that the Messiah is the person who
takes the world’s sins upon himself
right that’s a characteristic of Christ
right it’s something the idea is
something like Christ died for your sins
like what the hell does that mean
exactly you know and partly what it
means and I would say a slightly
corrupted form of Christianity is that
you just have to believe that that
happened in the and you’re redeemed it’s
like well that’s we’ll leave that aside
for a second but there’s an idea there a
psychological idea and you know that
because the idea doesn’t go away it’s
lasted for thousands of years it’s like
whoa
so the idea signifies something it has a
psychological reality independent of its
metaphysical reality whatever that might
be and so I’ve thought about that for a
long time it’s like what in the world
does that possibly mean and then I
realized and you knew this Carl Jung
knew this that it was associated with
this idea of the shadow I had this
client once hoo-ha her parents man they
were pieces of work she her parents
taught her I swear to you that this is
the truth
her parents taught her that adults were
angels literally and when I saw her she
was about thirty and she had a lot of
strange symptoms symptoms of sorts I’d
never seen psychosomatic symptoms she
she she had kind of like quasi epileptic
seizures at night and no but she stayed
conscious during them it was very
difficult to understand that night I
won’t walk through it but her parents
told her that adults were angels and and
she was like twenty-eight she had a
university degree in and I said well
did you ever wonder about that I said
didn’t you read any history and she said
yeah what I read something about the
terrible things that people did to each
other and I would just compartmentalize
it and that was actually the key that I
used to unlock what was wrong with her
which was eventually fixed and I won’t
go into that but but I said I gave her
this book give her two books I gave her
a book called the terror that comes in
the night which is a book about about
sleep paralysis and nightmares because I
thought that was what might’ve be
bothering her turned out that wasn’t yet
then I give her this other book called
ordinary ordinary men and it’s a great
book
it’s a terrible book terrible dark book
about about this police battalion that
was moved into Poland during World War
two after the Nazis had marched through
it was all made of middle-aged guys who
weren’t like victims of Nazi
totalitarian propaganda when they were
kids they were just you know burgeois
middle class guys kind of like all of us
let’s say and they went to police Poland
and they were going to have to do some
terrible things essentially but their
commander told them quite forthrightly
that if being involved in wartime
policing was too hard on them if they
felt that it violated the more
psychologically violent that they could
just go back to policing in germany and
very few of them did big partly because
they didn’t want to abandon their
comrades let’s say they didn’t want them
to have to do the dirty work you know
and they ended up they were normal
policemen they ended up the sorts of
people who could take naked pregnant
women out into the middle of the field
and shoot them in the back of the head
that’s how the book that’s the
culmination of their training it’s very
interesting to read about their training
because they were absolutely sickened by
what they learned to do like physically
sick and vomiting shaking traumatised
but they didn’t stop and and if you want
to know why then you can read the book
and I said look read this book but don’t
bloody well compartmentalize it enough
of that it’s like read it like you’re
one of the damn policemen which is how
you should read history right you read
about Nazi Germany and you think well I
Moss
schindler I’d saved the Jews it’s like
no you wouldn’t right you wouldn’t
because people didn’t and the
probability is very high that you
wouldn’t and all you have to do is think
it through you know what and Frank it’s
like you’re really gonna put your family
at risk to hide a group of another
family in your attic for like multiple
years while there’s Nazis parading the
street and where if you get exposed you
all die you’re gonna do that are you
it’s like very unlikely and and no
wonder it’s not surprising that it’s
unlikely but you don’t want to be
inflating yourself with self you know
with with fictional heroism without
actually knowing the facts on the ground
so I told her to read read it and to
understand that the policemen were her
and that’s the thing to understand I
realized that when you to have the level
of success that I want to have it’s
difficult to spread it out and do
multiple things you know it’s in order
to to be world-class and I’ve made a
decision I want to be world-class and it
just it takes such a desperate obsessive
focus to to excel on a certain honor on
the level that I want to make movies you
know I was a Star Wars when I was young
i sat in the movie theater and watch
Star Wars and I just couldn’t believe
that that movie made me feel like that
just floored and just stunned by the
creativity and just I’m realizing that
in order to move people in that way in
order to touch people in that way you
really gotta focus with all of your
fiber and all your heart and all your
creativity so I got to a certain point
in my career where I saw the glass
ceiling I was so close to I was gonna
hit my forehead on it but I was busy I
was busy I got lots of work I realized
that I could only play so many best
friends or gang leaders all right I knew
that I wasn’t gonna land a leading role
I knew there wasn’t another man enough
imagination not yet for the industry to
be seeing me as a lead in other words if
I wanted to star in a British drama like
Luther for example then I’d have to go
to a country like America
all right now some people might say back
then look there was no black detectives
you know like how can you expect us to
make a TV show about one it’s television
sorry and the other thing is that I
didn’t see myself or my culture on TV so
I literally just stopped watching it
instead I decided to go and become the
TV now if I aspired to be on the levels
of dental Washington’s and the Robert De
Niro’s in the world I had to reinvent
myself I had to transform the way the
industry saw me I had to climb out of
that box in other words I didn’t go to
America because I I couldn’t get part I
went to America because I was running
out of parts I that all the parts were
the same I think everybody has fear all
wrong people have so many theories about
fear they talk about oh I’m afraid of
success no I’m afraid of failure I’m
afraid of intimacy I’m afraid of heights
I’m afraid of this I’m afraid of that
I’m afraid of the other thing there’s
actually only two fears only two and if
you’re in sales which you are or even if
you’re not life is about persuading
people life is about influencing people
and fear is the invisible force that
will make you ineffective at that it
will stop you now I love JK Rollins as
an example I mean we all know the Harry
Potter series but what a lot of people
don’t know about her she talks a lot
about fear she struggled with major
depression do you know she was
unemployed and she wrote the original
idea for Harry Potter on a napkin while
she was on state benefits she was then
rejected by 12 publishing houses and
this by the way was after she was
divorced bankrupt and a single mom of a
kid pushed herself pushed herself pushed
herself she talks a lot about fear and
about failure well you know we know the
moral of the story she just kept going
of course she was afraid but she had the
good kind of fear not the bad kind of
fear everyone has a problem with time
but the day is 24 hours
and we sleep six now I know there’s some
out there that say whoa whoa whoa whoa I
need eight but I say to sleep a little
faster because the bottom line is we
have six hours of sleep 24 hours are
available so if 18 hours now available
to your work your family your hobbies
and also to learn something new or to do
something new which could easily be that
you want to learn a new language or that
you want to read and as a New Year’s
resolution I have to read a book every
week or where you say I’m gonna go and
reshape my party so you’re gonna go and
take this hour out of your schedule and
say I’m gonna train an hour every day so
this is for most people a huge challenge
but it is totally doable I can tell them
because the kind of things that I did
when I came to this country I mean I
went to school I was working in
construction I was working out my five
hours a day I was taking acting classes
from 8 o’clock at night to 12 midnight I
was doing all of those things I wanted
to make sure that out of the 24 hours of
the day that I don’t waste one single
hour those hours were too precious and
so they just want to tell people don’t
give me this thing I have a difficult
time with the time and I don’t have time
for this neither of that you have time
you make the time most people do a lot
of talking and most people don’t put in
the effort there’s nothing you can’t
accomplish in life with the right amount
of work the challenge is you know are
you willing to do the work and the
reality is most people aren’t but that’s
the opportunity right is I mean it’s
like people you know at school most
people are lazy right they they just
they barely get through it and and so
that creates opportunity I tell my kids
that a if they want something they’re
gonna have to earn it
yeah and B if they don’t work hard
enough to earn it I’m gonna sell them
off as medical experiments that’s the
line in our house right there
you need money okay we’ll set you off as
a medical experiment we can get you
money that way give blood dad I’m seven
I don’t care you are unusually fearless
and willing to go in the face of other
people telling you something that’s
crazy
and I know a lot of pretty crazy people
you still stand out where does that come
from or how do you think about making a
decision when everyone tells you this is
a crazy idea where do you get the
internal strength to do that well first
of all I’d say I actually think I think
I feel feel fair quite strongly so as
long as though I just have the absence
of fear I’ve I feel it quite strongly
but there were times when something is
important enough you believe in it
enough that you do it in spite of fear
so speaking of important things like
people shouldn’t think III III should
think well I feel fear about this and
therefore I shouldn’t do it it’s normal
to be feel fair like you’d have to
definitely something mentally wrong
because you shouldn’t feel fair so you
just feel it and let the importance of
it yeah you know I actually wear
something that can be helpful as
fatalism some degree if you just think
it’s just accept the probabilities then
that diminishes fear so
I’m starting SpaceX I thought the odds
of success were less than 10% and I just
accepted that actually probably I would
just lose lose everything but that maybe
would make some progress if we could
just move the ball forward even if we
died maybe some other company could pick
up the baton and move and keep moving it
forward so that we’re still do some good
yeah same with Tesla I thought your odds
of a car company succeeding were
extremely low if you want to be an
inventor of any kind inventing a new you
know a new service offering for
customers or a new product or anything
the being an inventor requires because
the world is so complicated you have to
be a domain expert I mean in a way even
if even if you’re not at the beginning
you have to learn learn learn learn
learn enough so it should become a
domain expert but the danger is once
you’ve become a domain expert you can be
trapped by that knowledge and so
inventors have this paradoxical ability
to have that you know 10,000 hours of
practice and be a real domain expert and
have that beginner’s mind have that that
look at it freshly even though they know
so much about the domain and that’s the
key to inventing you have to have both
and I think that is intentional I think
all of us have that inside of us and we
could all do it but you have to be
intentional about it you have to say
yeah I am going to become an expert and I’m gonna keep my beginner’s mind
take me a day I know that day I was rich
I was broke I was pissed I was angry at
everybody else but who myself but really
underneath it was mad at myself
I just couldn’t beat myself up anymore
sauce pissed and I had a friend that I
loaned money to and I had barely enough
and I knew he needed it and I gave him
$1,200 and I’m here not able to eat I’m
down to like 25 26 dollars and I’m sandy
em calling him and he’s not returning my
call and I just need some money and he’s
ignoring me I did mean ordinance I’m
pissed I’m frustrated in the midst of
all this I’m also pragmatic I got 25 and
changed called $26 what the hell am I
gonna do I don’t have any plans for
economics I got over it that’s crazy I’m
living this little tiny apartment for
and it’s square feet and it’s California
so I thought okay when I was totally
broke earlier on when I’m 17 I used to
save my money up and go to the
smorgasbord and load up for a Christmas
you know load up for the week so I said
I was in Venice I’m gonna go over to
Marina del Rey where all the yachts are
and this place there called El Torito
and I’m gonna go they have an
all-you-can-eat smorgasbord I’m gonna
load up for the winter I’m gonna get
there so I didn’t drive there because I
wasn’t gonna spend the gas to get there
plus I need the walk so I walked there
and I go in I’m not dressed really great
but Marina del Rey it’s okay and I got a
place right by the window I can see
these yachts going by and I’m dreaming
of what life could be like and I’m
starting to let go of my anger and I’m
starting to start focus on what I want
instead of what I don’t want family
follow say I and that shifted me just a
bit and now I’m eating which shifted me
a lot and I got this giant plate stacked
up and I don’t know what the Mount was
is like whatever it was 695 795 right so
I’m gonna do this I can probably do this
three or four times right somewhere that
range as I’m finishing my meal this
little boy comes in dressed in a little
suit and I honestly don’t know how old
he be probably in the third grade so
maybe eight years old nine years old
something like that and he was so
adorable and he opened the door for his
mother
as long as attractive lady and he came
over he pull out the seat four and she
sat down and I was she was a pretty lady
but as finished she was I was totally
obsessed as boy he was just he had
presence at seven or eight years old and
it moved me I don’t know I just didn’t
move me and I thought this kid is like
pure geez I wanted to always be this way
he’s such a good kid he’s a giver so I
got up and I paid for the meal and
whatever it was six seven bucks so now
I’ve got whatever left 17 18 19 dollars
and I walk up this little boy I said
excuse me
and I said I just want acknowledge you
for being such an extraordinary
gentleman I said I saw the way you
treated your lady how you open the door
how you pulled the chair out
I said that’s class I said my name’s
Tony what’s yours then are honest
members named Charlie or something he
looked up to me and I said Charlie I
said that’s amazing taking your data for
lunch like this
[Music]
I said that’s even more cool nice any
sale but I’m not taking a lunch cuz I’m
just I think he said it was eight I said
oh yes you are
I had no plan for this he’s reaching my
pocket I took all the money I had left
17 18 19 dollars and I put on the table
I said you’re taking her to lunch he
looked up at me and he goes I can’t take
that
I said sure you can he said why cuz I’m
bigger than you are
and he smiled real big and I didn’t even
look at his mom I just turned and walked
away and I didn’t walk out of that door
flew home I should have been freaking
out how am I gonna eat but I didn’t I
flew because something inside of me had
finally got past scarcity have finally
realized there’s something inside of us
more than our limits especially on this
thing called money that I had let
terrorize me I got home and the mailman
came that day and I had no idea I was
gonna have my next meal
if letter comes and it’s from the guy I
loaned the money to
handwritten notes saying I’ve been
avoiding you it’s wrong I’m so sorry you
were there when I needed you here’s what
I owe you plus a little bit more and the
12-under was there plus another hundred
for the time that I had to take care of
and for me thirteen or dollars that was
enough to like run my show for a month
or two and I cried and then I decided
what does this mean I thought this means
that whenever you give it’s always gonna
come back so you don’t have to ever
think about that but again just give the
rewards be great and you can ever
imagine I don’t know if that’s
coincidence but I decided to believe
that day was the blessing when I became
rich and I can tell you honestly I’ve
had tough days and I’ve economically
emotionally like all of us but I’ve
never gone back to scarcity I never will
the secret to living is giving do it
when you don’t have it but I promise you
scarcity will leave your life somebody
comes and says John I want to be a
leader I was asking the question why why
do you want to be a leader I mean you
want to be a leader because you want a
corner office do you wanna be a leader
because you like to be in control you
like to want to be a leader because you
love to be in the front of the pack do
you want to be a leader because you want
to have a good parking place what do you
want to be a leader because leadership
is an easy leadership a lot of times
isn’t fun leadership a lot of times it’s
kind of lonely
there’s only one reason to be a leader
and that is to add value to people and
you and I will only add value to people
if we truly value them I have a
nonprofit organization equipped this
trained almost 2 million leaders
internationally around the world and I
kid you not as I go to developing
countries twice a year and I travel
internationally and I sit down sometimes
I have the privilege of being in the
office there’s a presidents of countries
and as I watch these two developing
countries the thing that is the cardinal
sin among leadership so much is that
they have leaders of their countries
that truly don’t value the people and if
you and I don’t value people we will
devalue people number two if you want to
add value to people you have to make
yourself more valuable
you just have to get better you have to
keep growing you have to keep learning
you have to keep developing why very
simply if you’re leading the pack you’ve
got to be able to give what you have and
you can’t give what you don’t have and
so therefore you’ve got to put a lot of
good stuff in so that you can pass it on
to others and share with them and and
add value to them thirdly if you want to
add value to people you have to know and
relate to what other people value you
and I have to walk slowly to the crowd
we have to listen we have to care you
see great leaders are first of all
listeners and then they’re learners and
then their leaders they really do take
their cue from the people they
understand that the key of leadership is
connecting with the people that you lead
and the only way that you and I ever
connect is by caring enough to listen
number four is very important to me when
I’m speaking in the business community I
always share with them that for them
there are three ways to add value to
people but for me there are four and I
tell them I’ll give them the three and
then that’s all I’ll spend maybe an hour
doing those three things I just shared
with you talking about how to add value
to people and inevitably when I’m done
with the three somebody raise their hand
say John you said there for you there
was four but you said there’s only three
for us I said yes it’s nothing personal
but this is about my faith and so I
don’t really need to share this with you
it’s because I’m trying to help you and
I I don’t want to cross boundaries with
you and never everybody they’ll say but
John tell us what yours is and I’ll say
well okay you can hear mine but don’t
whenever people fail to achieve their
goals 99.9% of time you ask him why
they’ll tell you it’s because of a lack
of resources that’s what all these
things are I didn’t have the support
right I didn’t have the money we didn’t
have the time we didn’t have this we
know that there’s a resource that people
believe is missing and that resource
belief structure then keeps people from
ever being able to really lead because
what leaders do is they find a way to
maximize whatever resources they have
has little as they may be and they don’t
believe in limited resources I’ll give
an example take a business example to
start with in 1974 I can’t even Walton
had built his little company up the
cable that idea he started with $20,000
and I think 1962 if I remember right but
by 1974 within 12 years he had 78 stores
and you know I did it in the middle of
the night he drive across border and
he’d go and study other people’s stores
he’d buy everything the cheapest he
could in the middle tonight he’d go to
the people’s stores whatever was working
he figured out success leaves Clues he
came back and did in his store whatever
was working in any store in any
competitor anywhere he could do it he
did it so he forgot to maximize the
little resources he had his twenty
thousand build 78 stores and if you read
any of the people following him the
company’s gone public in that year they
were all saying this is it he’s
maximized his resources I mean only have
so much money there’s only so many
cities that are gonna appeal to this
discounting mentality right this is it
this is all he can do and the word of
Wall Street was self now what’s
interesting is at that time you look at
Sears and Kmart and they were gargantuan
companies weren’t that 20 30 40 52 times
a hundred times his size or more
probable and at that time they were the
leaders and they knew what’s gonna
happen but two things change yes or no
did he suddenly get mass amounts of
capital no here’s what they didn’t
understand Sam Walton now for the Walton
organization Walmart is the most
successful retailing operation on earth
and when you talk about Bill Gates being
the richest man in the world that’s only
true because Sam’s fortune has divided
up amongst a bunch of different family
members
you put them together they dwarf Bill
Gates Sam Walton did this how did he do
it what people underestimated is that
this guy could go to 4,400 stores do 250
billion
where’s Kmart today and they’ve been
shrinking all them in shrinking and he’s
the dominant force on earth here’s the
thing he understood resources are
interesting but the ultimate resources
are the feelings of emotion that make
you resourceful think of it this way
resourcefulness is the ultimate resource
what do I mean what are the emotions
that make all this possible what’s the
fuel that takes an idea from being in
your head well you wouldn’t you’ll
actually know what to do how many got an
idea for example was a great idea you’re
excited about it and then you didn’t do
anything one day there you saw it on the
Shelf you saw it somewhere someone stole
your idea how many had this happened say
ah the only didn’t seen you and that
person was not that they had more
resources they were more resourceful
times you had somebody say have you got
[Music]
I read a poem one time I said I have
only just met only 60 seconds in it was
forced upon me I can’t refuse it I
didn’t seek it and I didn’t choose it
but it’s up to me to use it I must
suffer if I lose it give a counter paya
beautiful it’s only a tiny little minute
but eternity is in it well any rate I
thought I’m gonna put this on a video
I’m just gonna share it with everybody
just this one little part out of the
seminar I’m making I want you to look at
this Sam timer and let this I want you
to think about your life the sand in the
top of the glass represents the future
the sand and the bottom of the glass
represents the past now Genoa we know
what’s in the past and yet we can’t do
anything about it do you know what the
trick is you don’t know how much sands
and the top of the glass you may think
you have a lot you might only have a
look then again you may think you have a
little and you might have a look when I
was a little boy I was raised by my
grandmother and I don’t know when I was
a little guy after she probably 60 but
as long as I can remember it red would
say no so be good there also be good
well you know we loved her she was
really an angel a god but we thought you
was never gonna go she lived to be 94
for 30-some years I’ll soon be born
she didn’t think she had much time left
she had 34 years well now about the same
time I had a buddy of mine Bob Yates he
was just 16 and bang he run into the
abutment of a bridge and his life was
snuffed out if you had asked him a half
hour before how much sand he had left he
would have said at least a half a
century he didn’t have a half an hour
see the trick is we don’t know how much
sand we have left the future we don’t
know the past it’s gone now the only
thing you can deal with is what’s right
here right now and if you look the sand
is always moving now think of this you
see I was working on that and then I was
working on a graph I’ve got here at my
computer and I’m thinking at the time
somebody said – have you got a minute
well they don’t really want a minute do
you know if you’re earning $50,000 a
year and minutes 42 cents a half hours
$12.50 if we take that ahead a bit if
you’re earning $80,000 a year a minute
67 cents half hours $20 yearning a
hundred and fifty thousand dollars a
year got a minute and then it cost you a
dollar twenty-five a minute a half hours
thirty seven dollars and fifty cents so
do you see if somebody said you want to
stop for a cup of coffee well if you’re
earning a quarter of a million dollars a
year a minute is two dollars and eight
cents half hours sixty two dollars and
fifty cents and then of course you’ve
got the coffee to pay for on top of that
so do you see the point is this this is
all we’ve got right here right now we
don’t know how much we have left in the
future but we do know what we’ve got now
and I have found the people that win are
the people who make up their mind
they’re not going to waste the minutes
they’re going to be productive they’re
gonna make it happen every minute
that’s what I’ve created for my life and
anyone I know succeeded I’m a 17 year
old kid from Azusa California with no
real education other than self education
with no background with parents that did
their best all of them with no money but
I did one thing I love people and I had
an enormous demand I made it by myself
and I sculpted my mind and my emotions
to get me to do whatever it would take
to achieve and to contribute but to do
that I did it by using my body and
changing my focus I did it by putting
myself in a peak physiology and using
what I call incantations can you train
yourself to believe something yes or no
absolutely how many have ever made the
fatal mistake of going to Disneyland or
Disney World and while you’re there made
the fatal mistake of going to a ride
called it’s a small world after all what
happens for about a week after you’re
out of that damn place you’re still
singing this thing in your hand in 24
languages right let me tell you
something how many of you have things
when you want to achieve them and this
part of your voice goes off not gonna
happen or forget it
I’m gonna go to voices sometimes
interrupts that good pattern say what
you want to do is train a new one so
starting when I was 17 I started doing
incantations not affirmations
affirmation you go home happy I’m happy
I’m Anthea Anthea many what’s the
problem you haven’t changed your what
your what physiology if you don’t change
your physiology you won’t get anything
so in incantations you only you speak it
but you embody what you’re saying with
all the intensity you can and you do it
with enough repetitions that it sticks
in your head like it’s a small world now
the conversation your head is always the
same and it gives you what you want so
use your body and your voice so 17 years
ago I started doing things I was working
for Jim Rohn this speaker and I was 17
years old I had long hair minestrone
soup acne on my face and I was trying to
call on Bear Stearns type of people and
convince them why they should go to this
man seminar be more successful I was
driving a 1968 Volkswagen
I’d earn at $40 a week as a janitor the
only way I did it was parked far from
the building and then go in and I love
people I believe but I put myself in
state and I was able to influence people
that were far more successful I was at
the time I will do something that I
still do backstage and have done for 23
years because I don’t hope I’m gonna be
a good stay I demand it
so I do an incantation using my whole
body it’s a now command my subconscious
mind to direct me and helping as many
people as possible live today to better
their lives they gave me the strength
the emotion the persuasion the humor the
brevity whatever it takes
you surely feel and get these people to
change their lives now I will do that
literally driving in my Volkswagen to a
meeting in LA on the freeway for 40
minutes people looking I’m screaming to
pop my lungs they’re going I know he’s a
serial killer I know he is but by the
time I entered that room when two people
meet if there’s a report the person
who’s most certain I was certain and
they were trying to get revved up to
certainty give you this yes or no I do
another one because I was poor I changed
my mindset I kept doing things but I
never got beyond it
I’d say gods wealth is circulating in my
life as wealth flows to me and
avalanches of abundance all my needs
desires and goals are met
instantaneously by infinite intelligence
for I’m one with God and God is
everything and I would imagine the
abundance of my life when I would feel
so grateful and a year later I went for
making thirty eight thousand dollars a
like iíve had a lot of bad health in the
last year and having to rewrite rule
seven coincided with one of those
periods that lasted about a month and it
was was the hardest chapter by far and
it went down the deepest by far and it
was really hard to get right it’s called
do what is meaningful not what is
expedient and I’ll just tell you a
little bit about the chapter because I
figured something out in it that and
then explained it something that took me
decades to figure out so there’s this
idea it’s a it’s a very deep Christian
idea that the Messiah is the person who
takes the world’s sins upon himself
right that’s a characteristic of Christ
right it’s something the idea is
something like Christ died for your sins
like what the hell does that mean
exactly you know and partly what it
means and I would say a slightly
corrupted form of Christianity is that
you just have to believe that that
happened in the and you’re redeemed it’s
like well that’s we’ll leave that aside
for a second but there’s an idea there a
psychological idea and you know that
because the idea doesn’t go away it’s
lasted for thousands of years it’s like
whoa
so the idea signifies something it has a
psychological reality independent of its
metaphysical reality whatever that might
be and so I’ve thought about that for a
long time it’s like what in the world
does that possibly mean and then I
realized and you knew this Carl Jung
knew this that it was associated with
this idea of the shadow I had this
client once hoo-ha her parents man they
were pieces of work she her parents
taught her I swear to you that this is
the truth
her parents taught her that adults were
angels literally and when I saw her she
was about thirty and she had a lot of
strange symptoms symptoms of sorts I’d
never seen psychosomatic symptoms she
she she had kind of like quasi epileptic
seizures at night and no but she stayed
conscious during them it was very
difficult to understand that night I
won’t walk through it but her parents
told her that adults were angels and and
she was like twenty-eight she had a
university degree in and I said well
did you ever wonder about that I said
didn’t you read any history and she said
yeah what I read something about the
terrible things that people did to each
other and I would just compartmentalize
it and that was actually the key that I
used to unlock what was wrong with her
which was eventually fixed and I won’t
go into that but but I said I gave her
this book give her two books I gave her
a book called the terror that comes in
the night which is a book about about
sleep paralysis and nightmares because I
thought that was what might’ve be
bothering her turned out that wasn’t yet
then I give her this other book called
ordinary ordinary men and it’s a great
book
it’s a terrible book terrible dark book
about about this police battalion that
was moved into Poland during World War
two after the Nazis had marched through
it was all made of middle-aged guys who
weren’t like victims of Nazi
totalitarian propaganda when they were
kids they were just you know burgeois
middle class guys kind of like all of us
let’s say and they went to police Poland
and they were going to have to do some
terrible things essentially but their
commander told them quite forthrightly
that if being involved in wartime
policing was too hard on them if they
felt that it violated the more
psychologically violent that they could
just go back to policing in germany and
very few of them did big partly because
they didn’t want to abandon their
comrades let’s say they didn’t want them
to have to do the dirty work you know
and they ended up they were normal
policemen they ended up the sorts of
people who could take naked pregnant
women out into the middle of the field
and shoot them in the back of the head
that’s how the book that’s the
culmination of their training it’s very
interesting to read about their training
because they were absolutely sickened by
what they learned to do like physically
sick and vomiting shaking traumatised
but they didn’t stop and and if you want
to know why then you can read the book
and I said look read this book but don’t
bloody well compartmentalize it enough
of that it’s like read it like you’re
one of the damn policemen which is how
you should read history right you read
about Nazi Germany and you think well I
Moss
schindler I’d saved the Jews it’s like
no you wouldn’t right you wouldn’t
because people didn’t and the
probability is very high that you
wouldn’t and all you have to do is think
it through you know what and Frank it’s
like you’re really gonna put your family
at risk to hide a group of another
family in your attic for like multiple
years while there’s Nazis parading the
street and where if you get exposed you
all die you’re gonna do that are you
it’s like very unlikely and and no
wonder it’s not surprising that it’s
unlikely but you don’t want to be
inflating yourself with self you know
with with fictional heroism without
actually knowing the facts on the ground
so I told her to read read it and to
understand that the policemen were her
and that’s the thing to understand I
realized that when you to have the level
of success that I want to have it’s
difficult to spread it out and do
multiple things you know it’s in order
to to be world-class and I’ve made a
decision I want to be world-class and it
just it takes such a desperate obsessive
focus to to excel on a certain honor on
the level that I want to make movies you
know I was a Star Wars when I was young
i sat in the movie theater and watch
Star Wars and I just couldn’t believe
that that movie made me feel like that
just floored and just stunned by the
creativity and just I’m realizing that
in order to move people in that way in
order to touch people in that way you
really gotta focus with all of your
fiber and all your heart and all your
creativity so I got to a certain point
in my career where I saw the glass
ceiling I was so close to I was gonna
hit my forehead on it but I was busy I
was busy I got lots of work I realized
that I could only play so many best
friends or gang leaders all right I knew
that I wasn’t gonna land a leading role
I knew there wasn’t another man enough
imagination not yet for the industry to
be seeing me as a lead in other words if
I wanted to star in a British drama like
Luther for example then I’d have to go
to a country like America
all right now some people might say back
then look there was no black detectives
you know like how can you expect us to
make a TV show about one it’s television
sorry and the other thing is that I
didn’t see myself or my culture on TV so
I literally just stopped watching it
instead I decided to go and become the
TV now if I aspired to be on the levels
of dental Washington’s and the Robert De
Niro’s in the world I had to reinvent
myself I had to transform the way the
industry saw me I had to climb out of
that box in other words I didn’t go to
America because I I couldn’t get part I
went to America because I was running
out of parts I that all the parts were
the same I think everybody has fear all
wrong people have so many theories about
fear they talk about oh I’m afraid of
success no I’m afraid of failure I’m
afraid of intimacy I’m afraid of heights
I’m afraid of this I’m afraid of that
I’m afraid of the other thing there’s
actually only two fears only two and if
you’re in sales which you are or even if
you’re not life is about persuading
people life is about influencing people
and fear is the invisible force that
will make you ineffective at that it
will stop you now I love JK Rollins as
an example I mean we all know the Harry
Potter series but what a lot of people
don’t know about her she talks a lot
about fear she struggled with major
depression do you know she was
unemployed and she wrote the original
idea for Harry Potter on a napkin while
she was on state benefits she was then
rejected by 12 publishing houses and
this by the way was after she was
divorced bankrupt and a single mom of a
kid pushed herself pushed herself pushed
herself she talks a lot about fear and
about failure well you know we know the
moral of the story she just kept going
of course she was afraid but she had the
good kind of fear not the bad kind of
fear everyone has a problem with time
but the day is 24 hours
and we sleep six now I know there’s some
out there that say whoa whoa whoa whoa I
need eight but I say to sleep a little
faster because the bottom line is we
have six hours of sleep 24 hours are
available so if 18 hours now available
to your work your family your hobbies
and also to learn something new or to do
something new which could easily be that
you want to learn a new language or that
you want to read and as a New Year’s
resolution I have to read a book every
week or where you say I’m gonna go and
reshape my party so you’re gonna go and
take this hour out of your schedule and
say I’m gonna train an hour every day so
this is for most people a huge challenge
but it is totally doable I can tell them
because the kind of things that I did
when I came to this country I mean I
went to school I was working in
construction I was working out my five
hours a day I was taking acting classes
from 8 o’clock at night to 12 midnight I
was doing all of those things I wanted
to make sure that out of the 24 hours of
the day that I don’t waste one single
hour those hours were too precious and
so they just want to tell people don’t
give me this thing I have a difficult
time with the time and I don’t have time
for this neither of that you have time
you make the time most people do a lot
of talking and most people don’t put in
the effort there’s nothing you can’t
accomplish in life with the right amount
of work the challenge is you know are
you willing to do the work and the
reality is most people aren’t but that’s
the opportunity right is I mean it’s
like people you know at school most
people are lazy right they they just
they barely get through it and and so
that creates opportunity I tell my kids
that a if they want something they’re
gonna have to earn it
yeah and B if they don’t work hard
enough to earn it I’m gonna sell them
off as medical experiments that’s the
line in our house right there
you need money okay we’ll set you off as
a medical experiment we can get you
money that way give blood dad I’m seven
I don’t care you are unusually fearless
and willing to go in the face of other
people telling you something that’s
crazy
and I know a lot of pretty crazy people
you still stand out where does that come
from or how do you think about making a
decision when everyone tells you this is
a crazy idea where do you get the
internal strength to do that well first
of all I’d say I actually think I think
I feel feel fair quite strongly so as
long as though I just have the absence
of fear I’ve I feel it quite strongly
but there were times when something is
important enough you believe in it
enough that you do it in spite of fear
so speaking of important things like
people shouldn’t think III III should
think well I feel fear about this and
therefore I shouldn’t do it it’s normal
to be feel fair like you’d have to
definitely something mentally wrong
because you shouldn’t feel fair so you
just feel it and let the importance of
it yeah you know I actually wear
something that can be helpful as
fatalism some degree if you just think
it’s just accept the probabilities then
that diminishes fear so
I’m starting SpaceX I thought the odds
of success were less than 10% and I just
accepted that actually probably I would
just lose lose everything but that maybe
would make some progress if we could
just move the ball forward even if we
died maybe some other company could pick
up the baton and move and keep moving it
forward so that we’re still do some good
yeah same with Tesla I thought your odds
of a car company succeeding were
extremely low if you want to be an
inventor of any kind inventing a new you
know a new service offering for
customers or a new product or anything
the being an inventor requires because
the world is so complicated you have to
be a domain expert I mean in a way even
if even if you’re not at the beginning
you have to learn learn learn learn
learn enough so it should become a
domain expert but the danger is once
you’ve become a domain expert you can be
trapped by that knowledge and so
inventors have this paradoxical ability
to have that you know 10,000 hours of
practice and be a real domain expert and
have that beginner’s mind have that that
look at it freshly even though they know
so much about the domain and that’s the
key to inventing you have to have both
and I think that is intentional I think
all of us have that inside of us and we
could all do it but you have to be
intentional about it you have to say
yeah I am going to become an expert and I’m gonna keep my beginner’s mind
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