peace and Senate waters diving deep once
again breathing in that good ass prana
baby we’re out here we’re in nature
feels good to be a life we’ve got a
question that came in from a woman who
said how does one go about dealing with
sexual abuse sexual assault may be
emanating from the childhood or even in
your adulthood Oh Wayne even had
breakfast yeah can I get a hello there
as a psychologist as a counselor but
also a lot of people don’t know I’m a
criminologist so I’m always scanning for
different news stories and tying it into
how I can help people become their
greatest version so I came across a
story about the former Stanford swimmer
Brock Turner who only got six months
county jail probation for sexually
assaulting a young woman and I read her
letter okay everybody you got to check
out her letter her open letter which was
saying things like how are you what
happened that night what were you
drinking and then at the end she said oh
well let Brock fill in the rest and
people were furious right because he
only got six months as a criminologist
that’s nothing because a lot of people
said it could be privileged and some
people the maximum sentence was 14 years
a lot of other people have gotten like
15 years okay so what happens in these
situations more times than not is that
everybody focuses on the attacker the
perpetrator and they forget about the
victim so over the years I’ve helped
tons of people heal from childhood
trauma sexual assault sexual abuse so
I’m gonna share with you if you’ve gone
through this situation how you can heal
yourself it will take time but this is
how to do it
now whenever something like this happens
to you automatically you feel ashamed
you almost for a second say no it didn’t
happen I can’t believe this just
happened okay so you are in a state of
disbelief and that’s why a lot of people
forget about it
or they say I’m guilty about what just
happened because it shouldn’t have
happened they feel like they are to
blame
so naturally you’re gonna blame yourself
for what has just happened but you see
with that blame you now
might turn in on yourself so whenever
you’re going through the healing process
you’ve got to practice the art of
self-love and that’s why what this brave
young woman did was super powerful went
viral on the Internet
her letter got over 60 million views
okay so she practiced the art of
self-love which first step is being
vulnerable okay you got to open up about
how you feel and the strongest people in
the world are the most vulnerable once
again it takes more strength to be open
than it does to be closed now it’s never
easy to open up when something has just
happened so you’ve gotta learn to heal
yourself in that process by just maybe
taking a walk maybe calling up a good
friend someone you can trust
but vulnerability is where it starts
realizing your voice matters she
realized her voice her voice matters
right and now because of her letter huge
changes are gonna happen in the justice
system
you see that’s what vulnerability does
it shows you you wanna learn
slow motion that sight hmm we don’t want
to hear about it right that’s why a lot
of people don’t go public because
society much of society isn’t ready for
it
I’m a psychologist and a criminologist
and a counselor so over the years I’ve
pretty much talked to different people
about every single problem you can think
of now once you go public
once you’re vulnerable you got to
practice the art of self-love but that
starts with the act of self forgiveness
for forgiving yourself for forgiving
yourself for what’s taken place you see
many so-called victims will come to that
term later just say if something has
happened to you you’ve been a soda door
whatnot we think the victims are going
to be angry towards the people that did
it no no no no in the majority of cases
they are angry towards themselves for
letting it happen and more times than
not this is what blocks the healing
process because they can’t forgive
themselves for putting themselves in
that situation let’s turn it around
let’s see how we can heal this right it
starts by realizing that your past
doesn’t define you and when you start
changing your story to say okay whatever
happened I’m gonna flip it around and
it’s never gonna be easy you’ve also got
to go through the healing process what I
call acknowledging what has happened not
sugarcoating what’s happened being blood
which means being vulnerable and that is
how you find your true power so the more
you can practice self forgiveness to say
okay well maybe I made a mistake
maybe I drank too much but at the same
time I’m still gonna see myself like the
great psychologist Colorado just said
with unconditional positive regard or
like I say with unconditional positive
self-acceptance I accept everything
that I am I’m not afraid I’m not ashamed
of Who I am
and now the healing process starts
you’ve also gotta be compassionate
towards yourself but also take pity on
the one who did whatever they did to you
to say gosh they also need help big time
you see and the more you can learn to
realize that you aren’t alone you’ve got
support everywhere now you begin to heal
you see a lot of people feel isolated
they feel there’s nobody to talk to but
once you realize your story can actually
be an example to other people people can
actually learn from your experiences you
now realize the power of sharing it and
through sharing it you also learn
different ways to heal so you don’t want
to you don’t want to zip it you want to
open up about all your experiences maybe
from your childhood maybe right now
right and you also want to not consume
yourself by thinking of what you could
have done differently because many times
and I’ve spoken to tons of people and
this doesn’t this doesn’t just happen to
women it happens to men as well
everybody it could happen to right I
remember when I was I was born in London
I’ve lived in so many different
continents I went to school in Freetown
Sierra Leone and they have initiation
where they conk your head so I got my
head comped and for me that was abuse
because I didn’t sign up for that I was
like what the hell are you doing right I
couldn’t defend myself and even
afterwards I felt very bitter but I
realized that bitterness was stopping my
own healing so I said okay I’ve got a
taking consideration their frame of mind
they don’t know any better maybe if they
do they’ve still got lessons to learn
but you see I’m not gonna use my energy
feeling angry towards whatever they’ve
done I’m going to
use all my energy into healing myself to
help me become my greatest version you
see what happens when society doesn’t
talk about these subjects they only grow
bigger they only get bigger and they
only keep happening so as if your
someone has gone through a similar
situation reconciliation she was in
court she was facing the attacker and
she spoke she read our statements right
that’s part of self healing where you’re
not hiding you’re exposing yourself and
when you can realize how many other
people have gone through similar
situations and their voice hasn’t been
heard you now become a mouthpiece for
the entire generation once again it
starts with not being ashamed for what
has taken place not feeling guilty not
blaming yourself not going in on
yourself through self-hatred you got to
practice more self-love you got to
realize sometimes time is the greatest
healer and it is okay let me repeat this
it is okay to feel any emotion you are
going through let me repeat that again
it is okay to experience any emotion
you’re going through when it happens
you’re gonna feel angry furious you want
to feel that you want to go through that
process that’s the process of healing
eventually as you go through it there
will come a time where you will realize
that actually I’m so thankful my letter
my story has been shared and this can
also be used as an educational tool in
colleges to stop this from happening but
once again whoever that woman is is
brave even writing that letter is a
touching letter asking questions showing
you the
power of not backing down and the power
of acknowledging how powerful your
voices were out here whoa breathing in
that good ass prana baby I’m a beautiful
day infinite waters diving deep once again stay well stay healthy
again breathing in that good ass prana
baby we’re out here we’re in nature
feels good to be a life we’ve got a
question that came in from a woman who
said how does one go about dealing with
sexual abuse sexual assault may be
emanating from the childhood or even in
your adulthood Oh Wayne even had
breakfast yeah can I get a hello there
as a psychologist as a counselor but
also a lot of people don’t know I’m a
criminologist so I’m always scanning for
different news stories and tying it into
how I can help people become their
greatest version so I came across a
story about the former Stanford swimmer
Brock Turner who only got six months
county jail probation for sexually
assaulting a young woman and I read her
letter okay everybody you got to check
out her letter her open letter which was
saying things like how are you what
happened that night what were you
drinking and then at the end she said oh
well let Brock fill in the rest and
people were furious right because he
only got six months as a criminologist
that’s nothing because a lot of people
said it could be privileged and some
people the maximum sentence was 14 years
a lot of other people have gotten like
15 years okay so what happens in these
situations more times than not is that
everybody focuses on the attacker the
perpetrator and they forget about the
victim so over the years I’ve helped
tons of people heal from childhood
trauma sexual assault sexual abuse so
I’m gonna share with you if you’ve gone
through this situation how you can heal
yourself it will take time but this is
how to do it
now whenever something like this happens
to you automatically you feel ashamed
you almost for a second say no it didn’t
happen I can’t believe this just
happened okay so you are in a state of
disbelief and that’s why a lot of people
forget about it
or they say I’m guilty about what just
happened because it shouldn’t have
happened they feel like they are to
blame
so naturally you’re gonna blame yourself
for what has just happened but you see
with that blame you now
might turn in on yourself so whenever
you’re going through the healing process
you’ve got to practice the art of
self-love and that’s why what this brave
young woman did was super powerful went
viral on the Internet
her letter got over 60 million views
okay so she practiced the art of
self-love which first step is being
vulnerable okay you got to open up about
how you feel and the strongest people in
the world are the most vulnerable once
again it takes more strength to be open
than it does to be closed now it’s never
easy to open up when something has just
happened so you’ve gotta learn to heal
yourself in that process by just maybe
taking a walk maybe calling up a good
friend someone you can trust
but vulnerability is where it starts
realizing your voice matters she
realized her voice her voice matters
right and now because of her letter huge
changes are gonna happen in the justice
system
you see that’s what vulnerability does
it shows you you wanna learn
slow motion that sight hmm we don’t want
to hear about it right that’s why a lot
of people don’t go public because
society much of society isn’t ready for
it
I’m a psychologist and a criminologist
and a counselor so over the years I’ve
pretty much talked to different people
about every single problem you can think
of now once you go public
once you’re vulnerable you got to
practice the art of self-love but that
starts with the act of self forgiveness
for forgiving yourself for forgiving
yourself for what’s taken place you see
many so-called victims will come to that
term later just say if something has
happened to you you’ve been a soda door
whatnot we think the victims are going
to be angry towards the people that did
it no no no no in the majority of cases
they are angry towards themselves for
letting it happen and more times than
not this is what blocks the healing
process because they can’t forgive
themselves for putting themselves in
that situation let’s turn it around
let’s see how we can heal this right it
starts by realizing that your past
doesn’t define you and when you start
changing your story to say okay whatever
happened I’m gonna flip it around and
it’s never gonna be easy you’ve also got
to go through the healing process what I
call acknowledging what has happened not
sugarcoating what’s happened being blood
which means being vulnerable and that is
how you find your true power so the more
you can practice self forgiveness to say
okay well maybe I made a mistake
maybe I drank too much but at the same
time I’m still gonna see myself like the
great psychologist Colorado just said
with unconditional positive regard or
like I say with unconditional positive
self-acceptance I accept everything
that I am I’m not afraid I’m not ashamed
of Who I am
and now the healing process starts
you’ve also gotta be compassionate
towards yourself but also take pity on
the one who did whatever they did to you
to say gosh they also need help big time
you see and the more you can learn to
realize that you aren’t alone you’ve got
support everywhere now you begin to heal
you see a lot of people feel isolated
they feel there’s nobody to talk to but
once you realize your story can actually
be an example to other people people can
actually learn from your experiences you
now realize the power of sharing it and
through sharing it you also learn
different ways to heal so you don’t want
to you don’t want to zip it you want to
open up about all your experiences maybe
from your childhood maybe right now
right and you also want to not consume
yourself by thinking of what you could
have done differently because many times
and I’ve spoken to tons of people and
this doesn’t this doesn’t just happen to
women it happens to men as well
everybody it could happen to right I
remember when I was I was born in London
I’ve lived in so many different
continents I went to school in Freetown
Sierra Leone and they have initiation
where they conk your head so I got my
head comped and for me that was abuse
because I didn’t sign up for that I was
like what the hell are you doing right I
couldn’t defend myself and even
afterwards I felt very bitter but I
realized that bitterness was stopping my
own healing so I said okay I’ve got a
taking consideration their frame of mind
they don’t know any better maybe if they
do they’ve still got lessons to learn
but you see I’m not gonna use my energy
feeling angry towards whatever they’ve
done I’m going to
use all my energy into healing myself to
help me become my greatest version you
see what happens when society doesn’t
talk about these subjects they only grow
bigger they only get bigger and they
only keep happening so as if your
someone has gone through a similar
situation reconciliation she was in
court she was facing the attacker and
she spoke she read our statements right
that’s part of self healing where you’re
not hiding you’re exposing yourself and
when you can realize how many other
people have gone through similar
situations and their voice hasn’t been
heard you now become a mouthpiece for
the entire generation once again it
starts with not being ashamed for what
has taken place not feeling guilty not
blaming yourself not going in on
yourself through self-hatred you got to
practice more self-love you got to
realize sometimes time is the greatest
healer and it is okay let me repeat this
it is okay to feel any emotion you are
going through let me repeat that again
it is okay to experience any emotion
you’re going through when it happens
you’re gonna feel angry furious you want
to feel that you want to go through that
process that’s the process of healing
eventually as you go through it there
will come a time where you will realize
that actually I’m so thankful my letter
my story has been shared and this can
also be used as an educational tool in
colleges to stop this from happening but
once again whoever that woman is is
brave even writing that letter is a
touching letter asking questions showing
you the
power of not backing down and the power
of acknowledging how powerful your
voices were out here whoa breathing in
that good ass prana baby I’m a beautiful
day infinite waters diving deep once again stay well stay healthy
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