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Les Brown: How to Stop Being a Victim and Start Creating Your Life | Les Brown Motivation


now let me tell you what this is
symbolic we set it up just this way the
reason that we are here this evening to
talk about Joe versus the volcano and so
what I wanted you to do was to really
experience this now what is it when
you’re near a volcano that’s that’s
boiling over and about to explode what
is it that you feel that let you know
you were in the area of a volcano what
is it you feel oh I know I don’t you
feel heat right so you’re going to
experience this volcano because we have
things in our lives ladies and gentlemen
and because we don’t handle them because
we don’t deal with those things they
begin to get kind of hot you know you’ve
heard the expression boy I’m in hot
water have you ever heard that before
and that means that there’s something
that you’re in that some dilemma that
you’ve got to handle something that
you’ve got to deal with so let’s begin
to look at this guy called Joe versus
the volcano and let’s see what’s in it
for us I took the liberty of changing
some things to enable them to be
symbolic for us and Tom Hanks plays his
role and for those of you that have not
seen the movie it’s about a guy who was
going to work every day it was very
depressing I mean when you see it I mean
the photography is very dingy looking
and gray and very dim lighting and and
the people are going in looking drab
doing the same old thing every day in
the same hallway some of you work with
people like that their faces that you
wish you never ever saw am i right I
mean if you never saw him again it’d be
too soon I am i right
so this is what was going on this guy
was going into this job where it was a
dead-end job he wasn’t happy he was
miserable and many of us can identify
with that he knew that he was capable of
doing more but he had really given up on
himself he had really sold himself out
yeah some of us have done that he made a
trade off for whatever reason he decided
to do this is why we can identify with
you and the volcano is symbolic of the
challenges that we invariably face in
life
problems that many of us run away from
handling and he had to handle this and
how did he come in contact with this
volcano well what happened was he was
going to this doctor constantly he’s a
hypochondriac because he wasn’t living
his purpose his dream had not found his
life worked he would create illnesses
for himself and so what happened in the
process this doctor decided he set him
up really see when you’re not living
your goal you go through life living
like a victim if people can set you up
for anything they can run any kind of
game on you and you go for it I had a
saying when I was in radio stand up for
what you believe in because you can fall
for anything well Joe didn’t believe in
very much including himself in his
dreams see so he was very vulnerable and
so Joe was set up by this doctor this
doctor told him that he had a rare
disease in the end six months to live
this disease would call a brain cloud he
believed it but you know something it
changed his life it changed his life and
so he was told look here you you know
you don’t have long to live anyhow the
guy said why don’t you do this I don’t
give you all my credit cards and this
way you can live like a king and there’s
something I want you to do there’s a
catch there’s a volcano on an island
that’s about to erupt and and unless
somebody jumps in that volcano sacrifice
their life these people on this island
will perish well your life isn’t worth
much as you don’t have that blog anyhow
so why don’t you take my credit cards
while Mike remarks American Express
master charger all take all them go live
like a king and die like a man
joe said okay what did he have to lose
he’s going to die an e huh and his life
didn’t have any meaning and value to him
as it was so this was no big sacrifice
on Joe’s behalf now that says something
about us people human beings that when
you have not structured your life so
that it can have some meaning and value
for you that you’ll be willing to throw
your life away into anything see the
volcano could be
Hall it could be drugs it could be a job
that does not meet who you are that you
go through like you’re doing it so long
you you’re operating in this and you’re
acting out that role of mediocrity for
so long you think it’s you it could be a
relationship that’s no longer giving you
what you want and creating disease in
your body it could be any kind of
circumstance like in his work
environment it was toxic it wasn’t good
for him but he didn’t have the guts to
do anything about it to act on it so
therefore it was making him miserable
and as a result he couldn’t see the
beauty of life in fact in the movie see
they had in the concrete that was a
daisy growing up through the concrete
but people were so caught up in the
depression in the gloominess of life
they could even see the daisies well
somebody just stepped on it one day they
couldn’t see the beauty in life see
that’s what can happen to you in life
that you can get so caught up in the
misery of it and the pain and the
sickness and the depression and playing
a victim and blaming everybody and
everything rather than taking
responsibility it will blind you from
seeing the stuff out there that’s really
beautiful
that’s what Henry David Thoreau meant
when he said that most people go through
life in quiet desperation a miserable
I’ve friends been married for years
living in two different rooms why would
you live like that I mean mezrab don’t
even talk to each other grumbles oh I
think I was bullying mean good morning
[Laughter]
miserable just making each other
miserable everyone like that people go
to work like I said why even sure I used
to work with a guy like that you
couldn’t say good morning to him before
nine o’clock he look around sick does he
know me
anybody know me no you don’t talk to me
before nine o’clock I don’t play that
all right people like how many ever
worked with people that are just grumps
raise your hands just miserable why show
up come in complaining every day the
best day on the job is when they’re
all right so this is where Joe was so
this doctor told Joe hey man you got to
die with this brain cloud you know
something all of Joe’s other illnesses
left Joe decided to live Joe decided to
live his life now that is interesting
a psychiatrist did a study and he was
talking about how his patients reacted
when they got information that they were
going to die immediately he said that
many of these patients that had gone
through years of therapy that should
have been making decisions about their
careers about their marriage or about
their circumstances and somehow another
they were stuck and didn’t have the
personal power or the wherewithal or the
willpower to act in their own best
interests but when they were told listen
you’ve got three months to live
or you got six months to live all of a
sudden these people who were initially
victims or powerless all of a sudden
they started acting in their own best
interests they started living their
lives and it’s amazing to me that that
what a paradox that once people are told
they’re going to die all of a sudden
they start seeing the daisies in life
they stop seeing the beauty in life I
remember it’s a monologue and it’s
called the last mile and so it’s a
monologue about a guy who was sentenced
to die in the electric chair for a crime
that he did not commit and he was
pleading to the jury to understand his
case and I remember one of the parts of
the monologue where this guy talking to
the jury and talking to himself and
going the whole gamut of emotion and I
remember something he said that struck
me right now he said you know he said
it’s queening how even though life has
done you wrong somehow you still want to
live is that you never again find me
complaining about life about life has
given me a short deal no I just want to
live I take the park benches the crumbs
anything I just I just went to live but
they’re not going to let me hobby all of
a sudden this guy who before from slopes
corner Indiana never really cared about
life all of a sudden now that he knew
that his life was going to be taken away
but crime that he did not commit he
wanted to live it was it’s a very
passionate powerful monologue I used to
read that quite often and study that so
what is it that we can begin to do do we
have to get a pronouncement that we only
have six months to live in order to
decide to live in order to live in a
spirit of integrity see most of us go
through life living a lie the platters
had a song oh yes I’m the great
pretender what a beautiful voice oh
don’t fade it’s okay it’s alright oh and
I hit that note it just gives me a chill
but anyhow let many of us go through
life being great pretenders we should
get an Academy Award pretending that
we’re happy pretending that we’re
content pretending that everything’s
happy and gay and carried away and
that’s not the way that it is going
through life feeling that we can’t do
anything about our situation like Joe
did but when they told Joe he was going
to die Joe became a new person went back
to work and young lady he’d been want to
talk to for a long time he say hey I
he wasn’t worried about rejection Joe
had his eyes on huh
you said Lord as myself what I see what
I won’t he want to live it you hear me I
like that Joe don’t lose that don’t lose
that alright so so here’s what I think
that we can begin to do to live our
dreams to begin to let life take on some
new meaning for some new power and some
new value is to begin to look for the
daisies in your life right now where you
are regardless of what’s happening to
you regardless of what’s going on with
you begin to look for some beauty in it
begin to look for some lessons that you
can learn from where you are and what
you’re going through see the volcano see
when Joe jumped into the volcano and he
eventually did that with a young lady
that fell in love with him they were
thrown out of the volcano and they
survived think about that now see I
think that when you decide to take a
leap and you handle the challenges that
you’re facing with something about fear
that’s one of the things that keeps us
from beginning to live life here’s what
happened the tide John Rogers wrote they
say when people take the courage to
journey into the center of their fear
they find nothing
it is only many layers of fear being
afraid of itself and Eleanor Roosevelt
said you gain strength courage and
confidence by every experience in which
you really stopped to look fear in the
face you able to say to yourself I’ve
lived through this horror I can take the
next thing that comes alone you must do
the thing you cannot do see that’s what
the volcano is it is the thing that we
cannot do and because it is that we must
do that once fear is acted upon the
death of fear is certain to what volcano
you have in your life let me ask you
some questions here
if you had
six months to live what would you do
differently with your life what would
you do differently would you have the
would you be worried about things that
you worried about right now would you
have the same relationships would you
have the same people in your life I was
sitting on the house of the Ohio
legislative floor
I just been elected for the third time
as a chairman of the human resource
committee powerful prestigious position
and I was reading a book on how to
manage your time in your life and it
talked about what are your long-range
goals two to three years from now what
are your short range goals
six months goals minutes said if you
have three months to live what would you
spend your time doing
Sarovar and I would I would spend my
time I wouldn’t one thing I would resign
from the legislature I would go and back
to Miami and I buy my mother home
something I promised myself that I was
going to do and I had continued to
procrastinate and put all kind of
reasons why I couldn’t do it and you
know I wanted to make sure that she was
financially secure my children would be
financially secure and I would do
lectures and I would go around talking
to people and working with kids that’s
what I said I would do then it turns the
next page and says for all you know you
don’t have three months to live you
might die today so whatever you wrote on
the last page you want to spend as much
of your time doing that today so I
looked at mr. Verne life the Speaker of
the Ohio legislature and I said to the
guy on my right State Representative
Mike stanziano out of the Ohio State
District I said Sten Z 25 years from now
who would care what legislation we
passed he said nobody would care one
year from now
now here’s what was happening with me I
came to the Ohio legislature with great
expectations there are things I wanted
to do I want to make a change in society
I wanted to make an impact but I was
just disillusioned after being there for
a while I introduced some legislation
that I’d worked months to get this
legislation passed got it out of
subcommittee voted to the major
committee and then went from there to
the reference committee and then they
introduced it on the Ohio legislative
floor and this legislation was designed
to provide protection for senior
citizens and poor people who bought
money orders people by many orders
thinking that it’s cash but what they
did not know that there is no bond or
insurance security in the event that the
money auto company files bankruptcy and
so this company filed bankruptcy and
just left a lot of people just holding
worthless paper so I wanted to introduce
some legislation so that senior citizens
would not be victims of this anymore
after months of hard work after
introducing the bill and having the
votes lined up God raises and mr.
speaker mr. wife said yes said I like to
introduce the amendment for mr. Brown’s
bill he said we will hear the amendment
he said I like to amend it and change
the word shell to me as excuse me mr.
speaker may I speak please yes I said
ladies and gentlemen of the Ohio
legislature this legislation is not
something we wanted to make it optional
to provide protection for high worms and
senior citizens we want to make it
mandatory
and then this guy said no Mr Speaker I
just think that he’s taking it a little
too far this is an honourable gesture
and a behalf of the state but he’s
taking it too far
let’s make it optional and leave it up
to the good will of these money owner
companies to provide for the protection
let’s have the vote and they had the
votes and I lost and I say oh wait wait
this is not why I came here and then all
of a sudden this job that at one point
had meaning to me and value and no
longer had that for me and all of us
have had some experiences where you went
to job and you were excited about that
job for it had soup
promised and then you’ve got there so
much you want to do you thought was an
opportunity for upward mobility and
growth and development expansion and all
of a sudden after you got there you
found out it was nothing but up
glorified cubbyhole o grave with no dirt
on it so if it became very depressing
going to work and so that’s what
happened to this guy Joe and a lot of us
have done that before I used to get mine
the headache stop throbbing on Sunday
afternoon after the Sunday afternoon
football game a basketball game I just
hated to go to work some things I just
drive by just for nothing just driving
by I came back though I came back
we never stay in relationships like it
had friends talking to she said she was
so miserable in her marriage that one
day she went home I said when did you
get your divorce number
she said less she’s a twin we’ll put the
key in the door and she said I couldn’t
go in she said I was so depressed had so
much pain in my body she said I couldn’t
just walk in she said I dropped to my
knees she they had to crawl in I had to
crawl in the house because it I just
couldn’t she said I knew then I had to
get a divorce so that was happen to Joe
and Joe decided to act on that so what
can we do well here’s what we can do
wherever you are decide that that you’re
going to focus your time I lost my job
in broadcasting and it was a major blow
to me because broadcasting was all that
I had that’s all that I knew I had been
doing that for like 15 or 20 years and
that’s that was my specialty but because
I was so controversial and couldn’t keep
my mouth closed I lost my job you know
and so it was a depressing time for me
and I could not find a job immediately
no one would hire me locally and because
I was good and I would send off my
audition tapes the other radio stations
program directors would hear it and they
wouldn’t bring me and I was a seasoned
veteran so you have that experience if
you’re real
good many people will perceive you as a
threat and they won’t hire you because
they want somebody that they can control
and they don’t want anybody in there
that’s gonna outshine them see sometimes
being good can be a liability to you am
i right sometimes women have to scale
down their ambitions and drive it what
so what I did was in the meantime in
between time I stopped focusing on my
flowers I got into flowers
see they say when I was kid that an idle
mind is the devil’s workshop yeah that’s
true see if you don’t have anything old
you’re bad you know your mind can play
all Catterick so do you though see when
I wasn’t busy sometimes I want to call
birch Alice it bird could I get my job
back
my mind was sitting well if you all you
had you just keep your mouth shut now
you heard it for running your mouth ha
ha ha why don’t you just shut up
they told you to shut up Matt talk
you’re gonna get fired no you had to
keep on talking oh he go he go you go
now you are unemployed what about high
you cuss your mouth too big mouth you
bitch stop beating myself up why not
shut up for you right you’re right
you know they’ve all you ever talk to
yourself right here you know I’m taller
never talk is that so I just kept busy I
start working on flowers I got it really
into flowers I knew my flower had names
for my flowers grow real good I talked
to him hello how are you today oh you’re
beautiful I want you to write people to
bring their flowers over to me well
we’re dying wildung I would speak to say
rise those flowers
straighten up like that oh that was
phenomenal alright then the other thing
is I did a lot of volunteer work I’d go
to a hospital not to read the Bible to
people and I would go to friends whose
parents perhaps were ill of facing a
challenge not talk to them I became
involved in all kind of community
volunteerism so I’m saying that if
you’re going through a challenge not
that you’ve been laid off but the
universe has given you an opportunity to
find your real true making on the planet
then use that time wisely
volunteer give yourself away my high
school teacher Charles L Williams said
something I love he said love and
happiness are like perfumes
you can’t sprinkle it on others without
getting a few drops on yourself
isn’t that beautiful see what you give
is what what you get all right repeat
after me please
I’m gonna give my life away because what
you get is what you get shake somebody’s
hand on your riding up and say share
now here’s something else fear of change
see the reason that I think the Joe
stave as long as he did
Joe fear change most people fear change
a lot of people stay in jobs where
they’re miserable or send relationships
where they’re miserable sometimes in
order to begin to see the day’s is in
life you’ve got to be willing to change
cities change friends change
relationships change jobs say after
while you get bored doing the same old
thing in the same old way day in and day
out
human beings were designed to achieve
and when you’re not on a path of
developing your greatness and growing
and being more productive and being more
effective than your life literally
becomes depressing just like Joe so Joe
was resisting change and as a result of
resisting change Joe made some
trade-offs see this psychiatrist talked
about the fact but these people who had
been on his couch for months and years
not being able to make decisions about
things but when they found out that they
were dying they got up and start making
all kinds of decisions they decided no
longer to sell out and you know what
happened to me when I lost my job you
know what I think it was what life said
to me more or less Les Brown you know
you can do more than what you’re not
doing Les Brown you have sold out Les
Brown go home go in your drawer pull out
your check stubs and see how much you’ve
sold your soul for see one of the things
that got me about the movie is what Joe
said to his boss after the doctor told
him he was going to die he went back to
work and he confronted him he said
because I was afraid to afraid to live
my life I sold it to you for $300 a week
I sold my soul for $300 a week when I
look at Joe ladies and gentlemen I know
that I’ve sold out for myself
at different points in my life and when
you go home and you look at if your life
is not what you want it to be if you’re
not living the way that you want to live
if you’re not experiencing what you want
to experience if it’s not giving you
what you want you’ve got to ask yourself
what have I sold my soul for remember
that song 16 tongue what do you get
another day older and deeper in debt
saying Peter don’t you call me cuz I
can’t go I’m old my soul to the company
store oh no this is not loop a bad drop
tonight no last time my son Nupur call
that song is depressing ladies the
gentleman but many of us have sold our
souls for home in the suburbs or
brand-new car or three meals a day and a
roof over our heads
or because we want to be popular with
our friends say when you decide to make
a change it’s challenging but there
gonna be some resistance everybody is
not going to agree with that there’s a
price to pay
am i right see when I had to think about
getting a divorce it was time for me to
grow and sometimes you stay in a
situation too long many times you say
well I need to do it for the kids well
see staying there too long can be
harmful to the kids that a friend of
mine who finally got a divorce after
agonizing it she said I stayed there as
long as I did for the kids she said but
if I had it to do over again I would
have left sooner because it wasn’t
healthy for them and it wasn’t healthy
for me many of us stay in jobs where
it’s no longer good for us to be there
but because we can’t see ourselves
having the capacity to do more to
achieve war and can’t see life after
that job we stayed there as victims
volunteer victims because nobody’s
making us do it we volunteer to be
victims we volunteer not to be in charge
of our destiny we volunteer we willingly
do it if you’re gonna sell out don’t do
it in a hurry do it slowly
let somebody who come and have to take
it from you
don’t just give it up willingly and
that’s what you had done think about a
guy who he had everything going for it
went to Harvard became a lawyer joined a
large prestigious law firm married the
perfect wife had children and guess what
he was going through the motions day in
and day out but it wasn’t giving him
what he wanted out of life he was going
through an act he was acting on a roll
and one day he couldn’t get out of bed
he was just there in bed couldn’t get up
paralyzed they got the doctors they
looked at him examined him from head to
toe and said there’s nothing physically
wrong with him get up John come on get
up he couldn’t get up
he stayed like that for months had to
take therapy see because there was
disease there was conflict in his body
many times when life calling on us to
change and to grow and to expand we said
no not over here that no no no no we
resist that so we can go back to that
lifestyle of mediocrity we resist that
that changed that growth we go back so
we can go back to sleep
Winston Churchill said that truth is
incontrovertible malice may attack it
ignorance may derided but at the end
there is Carlisle’s the truth crushed earth shall rise again
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