seven years after my graduation day I
had failed on an epic scale an
exceptionally short-lived marriage had
imploded
and I was jobless a lone parent and as
poor as it is possible to be in modern
Britain without being homeless the fears
that my parents had had for me and that
I had had for myself had both come to
pass and by every usual standard I was
the biggest failure I knew now I’m not
going to stand here and tell you that
failure is fun that period of my life
was a dark one and I had no idea that
there was going to be what the press has
since represented as a kind of fairytale
resolution I had no idea then how far
the tunnel extended and for a long time
any light at the end of it was a hope
rather than a reality so why do I talk
about the benefits of failure simply
because failure meant a stripping away
of the inessential
I stopped pretending to myself that I
was anything other than what I was and
began to direct all my energy into
finishing the only work that mattered to
me had I really succeeded at anything
else I might never have found the
determination to succeed in the one
arena where I believed I truly belonged
I was set free because my greatest fear
had been realized and I was still alive
and I still had a daughter whom I adored
and I had an old typewriter and a big
idea and so rock-bottom became the solid
foundation on which I rebuilt my life
you might never fail on the scale I did
but some failure in life is inevitable
it is impossible to live without failing
at something unless you live so
cautiously that you might as well not
have lived at all in which case you fail
by default
failure gave me an inner security that I
had never attained by passing
examinations failure taught me things
about myself that I could have learned
no other way I discovered that I had a
strong will and more discipline than I
had suspected I also found out that I
had friends whose value was truly above
the price of rubies the knowledge that
you have emerged wiser and stronger from
setbacks means that you are ever after
secure in your ability to survive you
will never truly know yourself or the
strength of your relationships until
both have been tested by adversity such
knowledge is a true gift for all that it
is painfully won and it has been worth
more than any qualification I ever earned
had failed on an epic scale an
exceptionally short-lived marriage had
imploded
and I was jobless a lone parent and as
poor as it is possible to be in modern
Britain without being homeless the fears
that my parents had had for me and that
I had had for myself had both come to
pass and by every usual standard I was
the biggest failure I knew now I’m not
going to stand here and tell you that
failure is fun that period of my life
was a dark one and I had no idea that
there was going to be what the press has
since represented as a kind of fairytale
resolution I had no idea then how far
the tunnel extended and for a long time
any light at the end of it was a hope
rather than a reality so why do I talk
about the benefits of failure simply
because failure meant a stripping away
of the inessential
I stopped pretending to myself that I
was anything other than what I was and
began to direct all my energy into
finishing the only work that mattered to
me had I really succeeded at anything
else I might never have found the
determination to succeed in the one
arena where I believed I truly belonged
I was set free because my greatest fear
had been realized and I was still alive
and I still had a daughter whom I adored
and I had an old typewriter and a big
idea and so rock-bottom became the solid
foundation on which I rebuilt my life
you might never fail on the scale I did
but some failure in life is inevitable
it is impossible to live without failing
at something unless you live so
cautiously that you might as well not
have lived at all in which case you fail
by default
failure gave me an inner security that I
had never attained by passing
examinations failure taught me things
about myself that I could have learned
no other way I discovered that I had a
strong will and more discipline than I
had suspected I also found out that I
had friends whose value was truly above
the price of rubies the knowledge that
you have emerged wiser and stronger from
setbacks means that you are ever after
secure in your ability to survive you
will never truly know yourself or the
strength of your relationships until
both have been tested by adversity such
knowledge is a true gift for all that it
is painfully won and it has been worth
more than any qualification I ever earned
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