I remember a few years ago I was in
Australia and spoke at an event with
some very very successful entrepreneurs
and they took me out to dinner
afterwards and there was four guys and
two ladies and two wives and I asked him
I think it was like 12:30 in the morning
I asked just everyone at the table
what’s your purpose in life nobody can
answer two people said I don’t know two
guys rambled on for five minutes which
meant then no idea one lady had no one
other wives said I don’t know the other
wife started talking and then she broke
down and attacked a husband simple
question what I hope is in life no idea
what color is your tie Brian I think
it’s red it’s red right I mean not very
difficult to answer but people don’t
know because they never spend any time
with themselves I always say people make
time for everything and everyone else in
their life but they never make time for
themselves if you go up to someone who
you know and say like would you like
ketchup for coffee
let’s do coffee no like oh I can’t this
week but I can next week how about
Thursday 7 p.m. perfect I’ll see you at
this place
when was the last time someone is
willing to take time out of their life
to spend time with themselves so if I
wanted to get to know you and we’ve had
one dinner had a great conversation was
spending time here if I wanted to get to
know you I would have to spend time with
you
we’d have to meet up for coffee a glass
of wine but I really want to get to know
you maybe we read up once a week every
Friday night we go out for a glass of
wine we chat for a couple of hours after
you get to know you really well you get
to know me really well but it requires
me spending time with you so if you want
to get to know yourself you need to
spend time with yourself but in in a way
that you can inquire right so people say
to me things like I walk my dog in the
park that’s my time with myself and
you’re like no it’s not that’s you
walking the dog it’ll go like the house
you know they go for a jog that’s my a
long time well that’s your jogging
avoiding traffic watching way of
stepping so you don’t trip and fall over
spending time with yourself is sitting
down closing your eyes not interacting
with the outside world and actually
going inside and having that
conversation the same conversation I
would have with you to say like hey
Brian so where where did you grow up you
know you said California do you like to
surf no hate the water I love the water
tell me right and people don’t have that
conversation because they don’t have
that conversation with themselves they
don’t end up knowing what they want in
life because they don’t know what they
want in life they can’t focus that find
an amount of energy and then they don’t
live a lifestyle that brings them
happiness I mean once we wind up being
happy unhappy is a byproduct
so what is the tool that use just people
use to start is it that focused
meditation is it just being with
themselves alone asking questions yeah I
would say just you know take five
minutes out of the day every morning and
maybe even just do it Monday to Friday
and take the weekends off you know wake
up in the morning shower go to a quiet
place in your home or apartment sit down
for five minutes close your eyes if you
do a couple of breathing exercises and
maybe just take a few deep breaths or
relax yourself and then start having a
conversation with yourself
same conversation and then people the
next natural question is what do I talk
about
right well what would you talk about if
you met a stranger at about would you
just sit there and stab them would you
ask questions
what’s your name how are you feeling
what do you think about the election in
America ask yourself these questions
have a conversation the same way you
would have with a stranger with yourself
and when you have that conversation
every day the initial conversations
would be very superficial of feeling
today I’m hungry didn’t like the show we
watched last night and then after a week
we’re not gonna be talking about that if
we met every once a week for six months
by month three or month for our
conversation to be so much deeper right
we’ll be talking about much more
personal stuff and then you’d really get
to know yourself right and you’re diving
deep and just trying to find out what
you really want what motivates you right
who you are how you’re treating the
people you love exactly how you’re
treating yourself right and that
conversation doesn’t happen on day one
sometimes it does but most of the time
it doesn’t it comes after the fifth or
sixth or seventh conversation when you
feel comfortable when you can trust the
other person with more deeper personal
stuff the same way you have to trust
yourself too yeah once you close your
eyes and go inside of you you realize
that you’re gonna see things that you
love and things that you don’t love and
you have to be prepared for that most
people can’t handle that they can close
the eyes and go in and see all the
things they love about themselves but
the things that aren’t pleasant makes
them open the eyes and go this is
absolutely useless I could definitely
use my time in much more productive ways
and then they get up and they leave
that’s the reaction when they kind of
see something they don’t want to oh
thank you a second Wow why am I sitting
here it’s an absolute waste of time I’ve
got a to-do list I can go get things
done this is wasted and temporary
temporarily feel better or feel like you
accomplished a goal or something when in
fact you still don’t know why you’re
here what your purpose is etc exactly so
same way like you get to know someone
you love
right you see all the good things about
them and all the not-so-good things this
is part of the package all right but you
love and accept them because you love
that person the same way you need to
take that approach with yourself
you can’t know what you want until you spend time with yourself
Australia and spoke at an event with
some very very successful entrepreneurs
and they took me out to dinner
afterwards and there was four guys and
two ladies and two wives and I asked him
I think it was like 12:30 in the morning
I asked just everyone at the table
what’s your purpose in life nobody can
answer two people said I don’t know two
guys rambled on for five minutes which
meant then no idea one lady had no one
other wives said I don’t know the other
wife started talking and then she broke
down and attacked a husband simple
question what I hope is in life no idea
what color is your tie Brian I think
it’s red it’s red right I mean not very
difficult to answer but people don’t
know because they never spend any time
with themselves I always say people make
time for everything and everyone else in
their life but they never make time for
themselves if you go up to someone who
you know and say like would you like
ketchup for coffee
let’s do coffee no like oh I can’t this
week but I can next week how about
Thursday 7 p.m. perfect I’ll see you at
this place
when was the last time someone is
willing to take time out of their life
to spend time with themselves so if I
wanted to get to know you and we’ve had
one dinner had a great conversation was
spending time here if I wanted to get to
know you I would have to spend time with
you
we’d have to meet up for coffee a glass
of wine but I really want to get to know
you maybe we read up once a week every
Friday night we go out for a glass of
wine we chat for a couple of hours after
you get to know you really well you get
to know me really well but it requires
me spending time with you so if you want
to get to know yourself you need to
spend time with yourself but in in a way
that you can inquire right so people say
to me things like I walk my dog in the
park that’s my time with myself and
you’re like no it’s not that’s you
walking the dog it’ll go like the house
you know they go for a jog that’s my a
long time well that’s your jogging
avoiding traffic watching way of
stepping so you don’t trip and fall over
spending time with yourself is sitting
down closing your eyes not interacting
with the outside world and actually
going inside and having that
conversation the same conversation I
would have with you to say like hey
Brian so where where did you grow up you
know you said California do you like to
surf no hate the water I love the water
tell me right and people don’t have that
conversation because they don’t have
that conversation with themselves they
don’t end up knowing what they want in
life because they don’t know what they
want in life they can’t focus that find
an amount of energy and then they don’t
live a lifestyle that brings them
happiness I mean once we wind up being
happy unhappy is a byproduct
so what is the tool that use just people
use to start is it that focused
meditation is it just being with
themselves alone asking questions yeah I
would say just you know take five
minutes out of the day every morning and
maybe even just do it Monday to Friday
and take the weekends off you know wake
up in the morning shower go to a quiet
place in your home or apartment sit down
for five minutes close your eyes if you
do a couple of breathing exercises and
maybe just take a few deep breaths or
relax yourself and then start having a
conversation with yourself
same conversation and then people the
next natural question is what do I talk
about
right well what would you talk about if
you met a stranger at about would you
just sit there and stab them would you
ask questions
what’s your name how are you feeling
what do you think about the election in
America ask yourself these questions
have a conversation the same way you
would have with a stranger with yourself
and when you have that conversation
every day the initial conversations
would be very superficial of feeling
today I’m hungry didn’t like the show we
watched last night and then after a week
we’re not gonna be talking about that if
we met every once a week for six months
by month three or month for our
conversation to be so much deeper right
we’ll be talking about much more
personal stuff and then you’d really get
to know yourself right and you’re diving
deep and just trying to find out what
you really want what motivates you right
who you are how you’re treating the
people you love exactly how you’re
treating yourself right and that
conversation doesn’t happen on day one
sometimes it does but most of the time
it doesn’t it comes after the fifth or
sixth or seventh conversation when you
feel comfortable when you can trust the
other person with more deeper personal
stuff the same way you have to trust
yourself too yeah once you close your
eyes and go inside of you you realize
that you’re gonna see things that you
love and things that you don’t love and
you have to be prepared for that most
people can’t handle that they can close
the eyes and go in and see all the
things they love about themselves but
the things that aren’t pleasant makes
them open the eyes and go this is
absolutely useless I could definitely
use my time in much more productive ways
and then they get up and they leave
that’s the reaction when they kind of
see something they don’t want to oh
thank you a second Wow why am I sitting
here it’s an absolute waste of time I’ve
got a to-do list I can go get things
done this is wasted and temporary
temporarily feel better or feel like you
accomplished a goal or something when in
fact you still don’t know why you’re
here what your purpose is etc exactly so
same way like you get to know someone
you love
right you see all the good things about
them and all the not-so-good things this
is part of the package all right but you
love and accept them because you love
that person the same way you need to
take that approach with yourself
you can’t know what you want until you spend time with yourself
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