so if you follow me simply because you
want to get content about
entrepreneurship you may be asking
yourself why is Pat doing a video on how
to get married he’s not a marriage
he’s an entrepreneur talk about business
and scalability and ideation and hiring
and firing and all this type of mess but
look I got a request and I want to
follow up on that request many months
back I did a video called which I talked
about the one thing to teach your kids I
have two boys and have one on the way
this week and so the question was asked
Patrick what’s the one thing the most
important thing you would want to teach
your kids and for the last 15 years I’ve
been talking about this and I say the
number one thing the most important
thing anybody can teach their kids
number one I don’t think anything’s
above this to me it’s how to process
issues and so I said in that video it’s
very important for you to look at life
as in solve for X everything you’ve got
to look at as in I want to solve for X
and today the X is marriage how to get
married so I have three pages of notes
somebody asked me Pat I’m young I want
to get married how do I get married
properly can you give me some feedback
can you do video on this and I have a
large agency that I run with 2,200
licensed agents and 30-some states and
we deal with a lot of husband’s singles
lots of people that are in this business
who run their businesses as a family so
it’s a very important subject to address
and so I’m going to go through a lot of
notes but before I get into this let me
preface something here let me preface
something here no matter what I say no
matter what I say in this video you may
agree or disagree with there’s a couple
things I want you to keep in mind one I
have seen people get married the right
way which means the Christian marries a
Christian they save themselves
everything good doesn’t work out they
get a divorce I’ve seen a Muslim marry a
Muslim and it doesn’t work out I’ve seen
people do everything the right way you
know and they don’t kiss or do anything
till they get married five years late it
doesn’t work out I’ve seen people who do
it come
linkie wrong and it works out they’re
married 10 20 30 years so no matter what
I’m telling you
everything that I’m telling you is about
odds to me life is all about odds you
have a lesser chance of crashing if
you’re going 50 miles an hour in a 50
mile an hour area then you go 100 miles
an hour its odds it’s purely odds
everything in life is odds and what I
what I hopefully by me sharing with you
but some of the things I’ve done over
the years is going to hopefully help you
increase the odds of it working out or
even asking yourself maybe I’m not ready
maybe I shouldn’t get married maybe I
should stay single so I am definitely
looking forward to the dialogue any
questions on the bottom but I think as
an entrepreneur if you’re planning on
building a big Empire for yourself how
you marry somebody and who you marry
will be very very important very
critical than your success so if you’re
watching this and you’re saying I’m
already married what have you going to
say some stuff and I’m not happy you
know what if some of the stuff I did
completely wrong it doesn’t matter
I just improve now based on what you’re
hearing and then go based on that and
make your work so let’s get right into
it so marriage first of all why we get
married so what is the purpose of
getting married let’s process this what
is the purpose of getting married do we
get married because everyone’s getting
married do we get married because you
know how married people like to recruit
other people to get married I’m come
from the school of thought of take your
time and I am married I have kids I’m
happily married currently could turn any
time life change it’s strange things
happen currently right now I’m happily
married and you know but but you know
what am i getting married for because
all married friends men they’re trying
to tell me you should get married
because it’s so great and that that that
that done so in our church my wife my
mother keeps telling me that you got to
get married because you’re 32 years old
and you’re from Ukraine and how come
you’re not getting married I want some
kids and you’re not married yet right
hence our friend viewers behind the
camera laughing right now you know so
you know uh you may be saying well my
dad keeps pressuring me hey it’s time to
get married you know somebody told me if
you’re 28 and not married I had a mentor
mindset if you’re 28 and not married
you’re a menace to society
great man happily marry one of the best
examples of a man I saw in marriage and
family and I really admired that part of
him on what he did but menace to society
so what do you do with all these things
that you hear about yourself right so
for me let’s take it back and ask the
question what’s the purpose of getting
married you want to get married because
you wanna have kids then it makes sense
to get married does your church your
commitment to your faith if you’re a
church-going person and your faith tells
you ought to get married then have kids
and maybe you want to follow and be
committed to your faith then the purpose
of you getting married is aligned with
your faith right you want to get married
because you want to have a partner you
wanna have a lifelong partner then maybe
it makes sense to get married you want
to have a get married to you know tax
purposes I mean there’s so many other
things what is the purpose of you
wanting to get married first get ask
yourself the question the next thing is
there really a perfect timing on when to
get married a lot of people ask so when
is a good time to get married I should I
get married before 30 should I get
married at 32 should I wait till I have
the money should I wait to do this when
is a perfect time to get married and
we’re going to cover some of that stuff
here as well because I think to me the
most important thing is this here’s the
most important thing most people don’t
have any clue on what they’re looking
for before they get married
especially men over women women
typically know what they want women
typically when they’re younger they like
men with the ABS good-looking muscles
all that other stuff and that’s
important as they age and they have jobs
and they realize life is interesting
costly expensive you know security is
important they want a strong person then
they said now the things that I’m
looking for have slightly changed I’m
looking for a man that’s going to take
care of security etc etcetera if that’s
the role she wants to play she may not
want to play that role but that’s the
odds on what you’re looking at that may
be the case so I would rather have you
if you’re not married yet I would rather
have you take the moment you’re watching
this video saying I think now I am
asking myself what I really want because
the moment you get clear on what you’re
looking for everything else is easy
simple like business like most people
want to go out to make a sale or sell
their software
somebody with a product or something to
somebody but they don’t even know what
their ideal client looks like how are
you going to find and sell something if
you don’t even know what your ideal
client looks like you got to first know
your ideal client we’re going to get
that done here today as we talk through
it so benefits of getting married what
are the benefits of getting married
first of all you know you have the
benefits of talking to somebody of the
benefits of established and family with
somebody a vested deep rooted
relationship a friend for the rest of
your life that knows pretty much
everything about you your flaws your
insecurities your weaknesses your fears
your joys your you know Earths your all
this other stuff there is that
relationship that’s being built you got
somebody to go through for second
opinion on issues and business and life
and everything you’re building and
raising kids together you kind of see
the dynamics of two different human
beings that’s being taught a gentle and
a stronger side and you know raising
kids with certain set of standards and
you know that the blood is going to
continue because there’s someone that
you’re going to be able to live your
life through with your kids etc etc
increased earning power is also
beneficial you know family there’s to
earning power help someone to help you
one day we’re all going to be 65 75
years old and you’re now going to stay
25 or 35 forever it’s good to have
somebody as you age when you look at
your family and other people it’s
beneficial when there’s somebody on
earth that’s helping you out
companionship someone to be there you
know and there’s obviously many other
benefits that come when come with that
now benefits of staying single few
responsibilities you probably don’t have
as many gray hair that comes my gray
hair came I’m not kidding with you when
I got married and started having kids
and we gave birth to a company called
PHP this gray hair started showing up I
never had gray hair so now when I shave
greater comes out of here so there are a
lot of when you’re single you don’t have
those things you’re worried about one
person you’re not necessarily having to
support anybody else so less pressure
responsibility you know less things to
be worried about you can go and date and
do whatever you want to do grows boys it
doesn’t matter you’re not fully married
to somebody or given a ring to somebody
so you’re still a free agent you’re not
really doing anything
wrong yours conscious doesn’t feel bad
if you’re talking to a girl here and a
girl here in a grid or guy it just you
have none of that right now a lot of
single guys they’ll come up and they’ll
say but Pat you don’t understand man
this thing’s getting gold and Papa for
me the single I’ve got all pretty
quickly maybe because I started earlier
I don’t know but the single I’ve got
done pretty quickly because it’s very
easy it’s boring it’s like the same
thing I mean what do you there isn’t
anything to me that was a challenge it
was it was fine it was great but it’s a
short life span eventually kind of get
boredom of doing that you know you go
into an empty apartment when you’re
single table for one when you go to
restaurants or table for two but it’s a
different person every time okay girl so
there’s not really any deep-rooted
relationships so much effort placed on
meeting new people and going to this
place and buying a drink and doing this
it’s just you’re fishing forever versus
trying to build a massive legacy for
yourself when you’re staying single now
again I support staying single as well
but it’s about what you’re really
looking for so what do people marry for
let’s talk about what do people marry
for Cali people say I’m getting married
because man the sex is amazing I mean
you have no idea how amazing she’s in
bed I mean the other day we were doing
this one thing and honestly I felt like
we could go into the adult entertainment
business because it was ridiculous what
was going on the bedroom we broke the
bed we got complaints and I got evicted
all at the same time and guess what
what the alarm went off of the cars
parked outside man and the windows were
closed she screams that loud no me I was
screaming bro was amazing it was
ecstatic
holy moly okay so this guy you’re not
necessarily trying to marry somebody
you’re trying to start they adult
entertainment business you know a girl
may be able to go my god you don’t
understand this guy you know he was just
insane man I feel like this was read who
is this guy you know it’s like Zeus
showed up out of nowhere you know we
have this stuck I mean it was in a bit
oh my gosh you should have seen been
there you know on all these stories I’m
sure girls
gossip and they tell the stories and sex
was amazing I love him I love him so
much he made me cry in the middle of it
I mean these stories I hear sometimes
I’m not in Mario’s Greg it up all
monistic
you don’t understand in the middle of it
I had tears coming down my eyes I’m like
okay all right I’m getting married with
that purpose you know another reason why
sometimes people get married is the only
person I’ve ever had sex with so this is
kind of like it’s what I’m supposed to
do the only person so he took mine away
and she took you know so this is it you
know since I have to like I’m have to
you know because this is I give my
innocence to him and I’m kind of this is
what I got to do okay another one is oh
my god he’s so sexy he’s so good-looking
did you see him in that suit did you see
him in the shirt he got on me so good
luck and man I just look at him wearing
that Hawaii shirt you know
Mario’s got the shirt on today that
really has the entire staff concern but
uh he looks so good oh she’s so sexy did
you see her calves let me tell you her
calves Balamory what so you show your
most incredibly ludicrous shirt I’ve
ever seen in my life your wife made me
be over that shirt I’m just letting you
know so you know butBut people may say
things like you know he’s so
good-looking no she saw jar legs Oh her
legs should see your legs well your neck
is just phenomenal you know hurting all
this stuff wood looks okay so I want to
get married to this guy because it’s
good luck in another bow you make so
much money he’s so rich she comes from
money she comes from a wealthy family
you know what her last name is what’s
her last name her last name is Kennedy
no way yes she’s related man she’s got a
Kennedy last name what’s her last name
all this stuff that you hear about right
now McGann money lots of money so I can
go and be taken care of I mean really
honestly you know reputation you know
I’m getting married for reputation
career he’s got Korea got this you know
or some people expect this notebook type
of a story no you don’t understand you
know it’s like you don’t know what type
of a love story we have because you guys
don’t have our type of a love so how
would you ever understand our love story
it’s tough because Patrick I’m telling
you you don’t really know love like we
know love you know I mean I look at him
and I feel the spirit you know when I
look at him I just know we’re like
notebook you know movies are gonna be
made about our love story and then
there’s this expectation of a notebook
type of a movie right you know you’re
gonna get married and you know you’re
gonna run in the middle the wedding’s
gonna start raining and you’re gonna oh
and you know she picks up you know or
like Oh dirty dancing type of thing I
had the time of my life she runs you
pick her up perfectly and turn and then
Patrick Swayze you come and you sing to
her she’s like the wind you know no one
puts Baby in the corner all this kind of
mist you hear about damn it shut up
so that’s all great you know because
when you talk to somebody who’s been
married for a while they’ll typically
give you that smirk into laughing you
know look how you know what you guys are
so this but look that’s some of the
reasons why people get married you know
for me I can tell you a few things when
I think about marriage I can tell you a
few things like the first thing I would
tell you from my end is who you decide
to get married is so important it’s ten
times more important than you think it
is who you decide to get married but
also at the same time you got to be
clear on what you’re looking for in my
opinion the one thing I’ll always ask
people is look have three
non-negotiables what are your three
non-negotiables what are the three
things you are not willing to negotiate
with anybody even if it’s Brad Pitt
you’re getting married or Rachel McAdams
what are your 3 non-negotiables what are
they what are three things
that you I’m talking to you not people
around you this is not something you
talk to your mom dad brother sister
cousin this is you you and I talking
what are your three non-negotiables what
is it is one I can’t marry somebody
that’s been married before or you don’t
care is one they can’t have any kids
from prior marriages or you don’t care
is one they need to have a career is one
they have to have a bachelor’s degree
that may be your standard that’s totally
fine it’s got to be important to you and
not to anybody else is one they got to
be similar faith as you one they don’t
need to have a fate because you don’t
like people who are religious because
it’s you know that you’re atheist you
want them to it doesn’t matter what are
your non-negotiables because here’s the
one thing you can’t force a person to
love you and you can’t force yourself to
love somebody you can’t people have
tried so many times it’s not possible
had AG idea that I was talking to a very
good friend of mine and he was telling
me man how is it possible for this girl
to not like me right good friend of mine
and he knows two years and we’re sanaka
how’s the pasta positive past miles are
possible he’s in a real estate business
right so how is it possible that this
doesn’t you know and she’s this and
she’s the house that posit I said dude
listen many girls have not like me what
are you gonna do I don’t want to be with
somebody that doesn’t like me quite
frankly I don’t want to win you over I
don’t there’s a lot of people that watch
value to me that don’t like value taemin
people who watch value tainment are two
people who love value tainment and you
like the content that you’re learning
same as life you can’t force somebody to
love you so you can’t really go but I
have to be non-negotiable
I had mine and I was very clear at the
time when when I was 28 I’m doing very
well on business I told myself I’m gonna
stay single I’m not gonna get married
and then I had a friend of mine Sandra
patty you remember patty patty
recommended me book and it was a book
called 101 questions to ask before you
get engaged I eventually ended up
interview this man Norman write 101
questions to ask before you get engaged
and then I got clear on what I was
looking for and then it had a list of
people that had girls that I was talking
to at that time all girls I liked and I
went through everything in questions
with every single one of them and it
didn’t make sense to me
I just didn’t because the
non-negotiables were automatically
checked off and I wasn’t trying to put
them in the box because I know my
and I know what I can’t work with and
you got to know yourself you gotta know
what you can’t work with and the moment
I knew myself and I know what I couldn’t
work with why am I gonna put somebody
else through that misery remember it’s
not about you I’m going to put that
person around the misery because you
know how you’re dating somebody in the
first six months we faked it you know
what I’m talking about
we faked a lot by the way it’s not just
you know when they talk about fake what
do you call it fake a fake or or fake
you’re about to say Myra was about very
core chasms you don’t think men have
fake orgasms except ours are different
you know how our things are this is how
we have fake orgasms oh my gosh you love
flowers meet flowers so much what are
your favorite type of flowers and we say
the only one we know is what red roses
what are the type of flowers you know
yeah ginger that’s not a flower oh I’m
not just you know I just there is a
flower called ginger it’s from South
Africa you’ve never seen it look oh
sheesh I got to get away with it okay
it’s like that’s our fake orgasm you
know so so let me let me let me ask you
how do you feel about poetry poetry
poetry I’m not gonna lie to you I almost
got Shakespeare’s entire play tatted on
my back
but the guy didn’t have enough ink so we
didn’t do it because you know yet an ink
problem and I didn’t want to leave it
halfway but I mean I love poetry so
what’s your favorite poetry by
Shakespeare um uh Gone with the Wind
what God with the wind well it was like
he was gone with the wind cuz the wind
was pretty bad we talked about the movie
no no no it’s just was a windy day you
know it’s just windy days what it was
and what the hell are you saying right I
mean guys will say some stuff like that
on dates don’t do that don’t do that you
are you are putting yourself in trouble
okay one of the first things I told my
wife I said look when we first started
dating I said look second date I bought
this book for the girl are you married
my wife second date I got this book for
as he can read she says why I’m not
looking to sleep Iran I’m not looking
for girls anymore I am not looking for
any of that stuff I want to see if this
is it I have no desire to like you
and and we start being too comfortable
and I were together for three years and
we know it’s not gonna work yet I don’t
want to do that to you and I don’t want
to do that to myself I really like you a
lot you’re attractive I like your
personality but let’s see if we can go
further she reads the book a week later
we get together six hours we go through
every single answer together in a book
we’re married we got to get someone on
the way and we’re still doing good every
morning I tell I said look we’ve been
married for six years and eight months I
don’t know but I think we can be married
for six years and nine months I don’t
know if we can marry for 40 years but I
think we can be married for one more
month what do you think let’s try this
thing for one more month and then we go
one more month and I want more play
Teresa look you think we can do one more
month let’s go on a month the pressure
of I have to make it work because people
are going to judge I don’t care if
anybody judges I’m building my family
and I have to make the choices and I
want to set an example to my kids and a
person that I chose to marry but those
are mine this is why it’s very important
for you to know what you’re looking for
when you want to get married and you
want to have somebody you want to build
a family with so three non-negotiable is
priority to me the moment you know it
you’ll save yourself a lot of times
here’s a few things to be thinking about
to me I got into a debate the other day
with a family member and she said well
you know it’s very important for people
to marry with similar religious beliefs
I said okay my wife and I did that it
was good but I’ve seen people that get
married for not the same beliefs and it
worked you know and I’ve seen people
that get married for the same it doesn’t
work I think one of the most important
things that Tom and I was just talking
about this right before we agreed on is
alignment and here’s what alignment is
about alignment is about if a Christian
marries a Christian hypothetically okay
Muslim marries a Muslim Catholic
marriage Catholic but she believes in
capitalism and he believes in communism
not going to work out it’s complete
opposite principles you minimize the
odds to the lowest level now why do I
think political and economic issues are
going to be more problematic than faith
because generally
if we took every single religion and we
wrote them out here on the wall and we
wrote out the Ten Commandments for every
single religion do you know how many
commonalities you’ll find met most don’t
be promiscuous don’t kill somebody don’t
still don’t do this don’t judge I mean
it’s pretty much identical if we go
through every one of them I’ve chosen my
own faith because I studied it a lot and
had to find out what was for me but
generally when I studied it’s the same
thing being said on Commandments not the
stories not the truth on Commandments it
was the same thing but when it comes
down to my mother was a communist and my
father’s an imperialist and I watch I
mean I grew up in a confuses when you
have a mother’s a communist and dad’s an
imperialist I watched the mindset fight
all the time
didn’t work out 20 years I did it got a
divorce you know World War three almost
got started over this and I just watch
it over and over and over again right so
I think it’s very important to be
aligned in beliefs that you guys both
have beliefs beliefs is very critical
alignment and beliefs is very critical
in my opinion it’s important so faith
politics finance health your sex life
the more stuff you talk about upfront
the better it is because somebody may be
expecting this type of sex and this
person is not somebody may be expecting
you know to buy you by her venue no
Fendi bag and really the time back and
you don’t want to do that your coach
type of a person got to talk about that
you got to talk about who’s going to
handle finances and all those things up
front common values very important
opposing strength very important I like
the fact that personalities are opposite
minds completely different than I am my
wife and have complete opposite
personalities magic is extremely
important you got to have that you know
you know the magic you know when my wife
and I went on our first date it was
always you know hey when I saw her we
laughed we had the the twinkle in our
eyes was Kanak now I’m excited to see
you you know and so it was at PF Changs
December 29th 2007 I remember that day
when she came in and I was at the bar
having a glass of wine and when we
talked and at the end of the day were
the last person to leave PF Changs and
the waiters there and I pulled away
I pulled away to reset I said can I get
your help he says yes I said look my
wife here she wasn’t my wife it’s on our
first date I said my wife here wants to
leave me and it’s very difficult we’ve
been having this conversation all day
today she wants to leave me
so as why does he want to leave you
because we don’t have the same religion
and she has a very big problem with that
this poor waiter he sat there for 20
minutes and my girlfriend at that time
wife now she’s just sitting there trying
to hold it together and this guy’s like
look ma’am he seems like a good man give
him a chance and it’s good luck oh my
god
it was pure entertainment I probably
shouldn’t been doing that I had too many
glass of wine that night but it was
entertaining we had fun together right
opposite strengths important keep that
part of my magic very important more
issues you dress up front the better it
is later but leave me you’ll save
yourself a lot of time it’s almost like
negotiating contract with a business
partner I’d like to get everything up
front so it doesn’t come up later do as
much talking as you can up front instead
of later when it comes out to money who
handles finances bills vacations how
often we take vacations family time all
that stuff in-laws somebody live with us
can your mom live with us or UK my dad
live with us you know later on some
happens I don’t want to do no one can
ever live with us you want to know that
kind of stuff now is it a deal breaker
non-negotiable maybe not for you but you
want to know about that stuff up front
because you know I remember my sister
was getting married I sat there and I’ll
never forget when my dad said to their
family my dad sat and he said this to
their family said look keep this part of
mine this is my dad he said we’re not
getting married
Darry getting married he’s looking at
the in-laws and he said you and I are
getting you and I have one job our job
is to stay where out of their business
and support them to keep them together
that’s our job we don’t get involved in
a business and he’s going through this
whole thing
I’m sinner saying you know what what a
great counsel to give to say that you
just got to keep them together and he’s
done a great job with that because if
you don’t do that a lot of time family
will get involved to tell you all this
stuff that you need to do this you need
to do that you need to do that there’s a
rift and you got to be able to make you
work with your wife and your husband the
person you’re married now how to get
married let’s get into this part how to
get married okay
so this is this is what I suggest so I
suggest creating a criteria of who you
admire that has the life that you want
for instance for me married you know 10
20 30 years healthy kids healthy
marriage healthy success driven person
that’s doing some big I’m an
entrepreneur I’m an all the timer I’m
not going to sit there and somebody
tells me you know what the problem is
Patrick as somebody that when it got
counsel from a guy this guy is running a
business doing very well for himself and
the guy says this to him well you know I
think you work too hard you know you
should be home by 5 o’clock at night and
a guy has a regular job as a teacher and
he’s telling a person you have to be
home at night not everybody has your
life mister teacher they just don’t
we’re entrepreneurs it almost confused
the guy no no that’s running a business
no I want to talk to somebody that’s in
my life if I’m an athlete and I’m
playing basketball I want to talk to an
athlete that made his marriage work
how’d you do it if I’m a Hollywood actor
I’m going to talk to somebody like Paul
Newman that stayed married 50 years
how’d you do it what’s your secret you
know whatever space am i want to talk to
that person so create your criteria go
to that person and ask for counsel I
took my girlfriend at that time my wife
now and we went on dates and I sat him
down with certain people and I said I
just want you to meet her and tell me
what you think afterwards and we did and
I left him alone and said just talk and
give me your feedback these are people I
value their opinion and she did the same
as well I went to use some text to meet
her family
you know these folks are from Texas and
Arkansas oh my gosh
I pulled the most ridiculous pranks on
these folks they said so Patrick where
you from I said you know I’m from Iran
and I was part of their Secret Service
group for many many years in Iran I
can’t really get into it but I retired
and I’ve chosen to live a better life
now and I want to marry your daughter
and the mother looking at me like
shows this guy you’re dating and my wife
says baby she my mom she’s just kidding
he’s just kidding so we had a great time
but you gotta be able to have somebody
else give you their thoughts on what it
is you don’t want to be blinded by it
either the other thing I will tell you
is this I also recommend you know for me
Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett are
big fans of inversion like you know what
way not to do it what way the complete
opposite you know here’s the right way
to do it what’s the wrong way to do it I
want to find that also what’s the wrong
way to do it like you know when people
come up to me and they’ll say Pat give
me some counts I say listen let me take
the mistakes I made here here’s what I
did wrong let me taste I would say what
are the mistakes you made I’m always
asking what mistakes did you make as
well because I can tell you I learned
from my mistakes here’s what I did wrong
so I want to talk to some people that it
didn’t work out on what happened you
know and some of the best counsel I got
was from my dad and his marriage didn’t
work out he’s given me very good counsel
on marriage very very good counsel so
life is funny life is interesting there
is no level of judgment towards this
person or that person we all have a
different you know hand that’s dealt to
us at different parts of our lives and
it comes down to the choices that we
make sometimes we make mistakes
sometimes the opposite person makes
mistakes and sometimes we both make
mistakes but generally it’s never only
one person’s fault there’s always
something that gives birth to somebody
else so but there’s a lot to be learned
from everybody so that’s the one thing
you got to be keeping keeping in mind
when it comes down to that and then is
that that when our abilities are become
cancer okay got it
now are you been ready to get married
next month or even ready to get married
look if you’re extremely promiscuous and
you can’t stop yourself or control
yourself you’re not ready you’re just
not ready you don’t just all of a sudden
wake up the next once you’re married and
you look at every woman and every one
that looks like a man and said I’ve just
not turned down by a woman anymore
wait wait a minute you’ve been
promiscuous for 15 years you think all
of a sudden this whole thing’s gonna
stop like what do you think happens know
that habit needs to drop a little bit
and then it goes away it doesn’t just go
away overnight that doesn’t just boom
I’m done and I’m doing this no habit
needs a little bit of work so if you’re
still wanting to date a lot and you
can’t drop that habit you know I suggest
you go on a fast and see if you can
handle a fast and then work based on
that okay these
they’ve many girls at the same time if
you do that’s a challenge are you able
to be with one partner obviously that’s
critical you know when my wife and I sat
down and we were getting ready to
propose when I was getting ready to
propose to her I told her one thing I
said look I want you to know something
you may like me because I’m tall maybe
you like me cuz I’m six five maybe you
like me because you know you feel safe
with me maybe you say I feel like a
tough guy whatever she would say that
you like me because of my sense of humor
you like me because you know of my
success or you know my business or
whatever I just want you to know there’s
gonna be somebody taller than me
stronger than me a better fighter
protects you better and makes more money
more successful what are you going to do
when that person appears huh because the
reality of it is your beautiful lips
your beautiful face love your hair
love your body look how gentle your love
how kind you are love how good you are
to me but what am I going to do when I
run into somebody who’s got nicer lips
nicer face nicer hair nicer this what
are we going to do I said you know the
same way I treat business that for me
there’s a lot of great industries I
chose one industry and I wanted to be
the best in this industry and I said I’m
going to go until I become the best in
this industry where I can look at myself
and say Pat you’ve done good I want to
do the same with a family so I asked
this question and we went back and forth
with us he you know when we get married
we’re choosing to know that there’s
still all those people out there but I’m
choosing you my wife and I will be awed
and I’ll say babe look at that girl she
looks very good
what could I grow right there in my on
she’s a very good-looking guy you should
very good-looking grown man well we’ll
see you again I’ll say look no babe what
do you think about that guy I think guys
a good-looking guy and she’ll look it’s
a good-looking guy and I’ll have the guy
come and come by and I’ll say look man I
got to tell you something man what is
the deal with your eyes you good-looking
guy man what do you got going on there
we’ll tell me about your family
I’m curious so we have that relationship
it’s not oh my gosh no because then it’s
a lie it’s a fake marriage I don’t want
a fake relationship with anybody I don’t
like fake people I’m not a fake person I
don’t want to be fake with other people
because I don’t like it when people are
with me so real a baby just tell me
I think it’s good-looking okay cool I
think she’s good-looking all right good
you want to go home let’s go to make
some babies and you know we go do our
thing right so you know again a lot of
that stuff you talk
upfront more the better financial
difficulty say what are we going to do
when we go through the financial
difficulties what happens if we lose
everything what happens if we lose
everything what are we gonna do I talk
about this stuff I just want to know
what do you think about that as part of
the questions most people don’t talk
about all this stuff but most people are
not even watching this video and however
many minutes it is right now it should
be around 34 35 36 7 minutes whatever
the timeline is most people not even
watching a past this point you know why
because we’re comic I don’t need to
watch this video mmm I’m never gonna get
married and then when we get married and
we have problems versus why don’t you
feed your mind get some ways of thinking
that you can do to make it better and
then make that decision for yourself
right should you even consider getting
married you may be watching the same
dude I don’t even want to get married
then don’t I’ve no desire dude then
don’t let anybody convince you you know
I think I’m ready okay then why do you
think you’re ready do you think you’re
ready maybe the girl doesn’t think
you’re ready I had a very simple
question I would ask myself was a simple
one it was always this if your daughter
met a man like you would you be okay
with her marrying you when I was 24 the
answer was an absolute no no way there’s
no way in the world I would let her
marry a guy like me not at 24 just not
going to happen so I worked on that year
two years three years four years and
then I said I think now I’m not saying
I’m a great guy I’m not saying I’m a you
know but I think now I am more mature
prepared to be able to do that if I had
a daughter that met a guy like me I’d be
more comfortable about it now then I was
confident when I’m talking to a person
on that subject but you don’t want to
wing this part this is not a this is not
like politics where you run for four
years for office and it’s like oh okay
we can’t pay you no mayor for years next
woman now you don’t want to do that it
costs a lot headache and knowing another
person financial it’s just there’s so
many frustrations about it not happens
but you want to do it as proper and be
prepared upfront as possible so you know
some of the questions that have come up
as people will say should I ask
everything or should I tell them
everything look I don’t know how to put
this to everybody I think transparency
is very critical because if you don’t
it’s going to come out generally other
people find out or something comes in or
some way when my wife and I started
dating anybody was sending us letters
did you know this did you know that did
you know this did you know that so
everything would tip
become especially today if there’s a
time you don’t want to lie it’s today
today’s like look there’s videos that
are there about everybody I mean you
know I wonder sometimes I sit and I
wonder I say what if when I was 18 years
old all of us had a confirmed with a
video oh my you know what videos would
it’s just it would be a whole different
story if we had videos and the stuff
that we were doing if Mario if phone
videos were around when I was in the
military you would not call this channel
value tainment it would just purely be
entertainment there would be no value
about it it’d be just pure entertainment
just watching to see watch this video
that’s me at 18 years old yeah I just
did that stupid thing that you caught on
video so you know how much can you hide
nowadays everyone’s got skeletons in the
closet if anybody you ever talked to one
of the questions in here which is one of
my favorite one says if you talk to
somebody and they tell you they don’t
have any you know baggage and they’re
you know any skeletons in the closet run
cuz everybody does so transparent here’s
what I got this what happened here’s
what I did
it’s what took place with me I don’t
like dead weight I like soft pillows and
if I’ve done something wrong and you
know some happen no one’s perfect I’m
not expecting everybody to walk on water
or anybody walk on water but
transparency helps a lot so look at the
end of the day you know know that
choosing to get married or stay single
it’s a choice that you have you know
it’s going to take dedication it’s going
to take a lot of work if you’re an
entrepreneur watching this which most of
your entrepreneur data file on this
channel it’s even more important for you
and I just so you know that it’s not
it’s double triple as important as you
and I to get married the proper way very
important you know entrepreneurship has
a lot of highs a lot of great things
that happens a lot of great experiences
but you don’t want to add more headaches
to your life because you lose momentum
see I don’t have a problem with somebody
rear-ending me when I’m driving a car I
don’t have a problem with you know it
hell’s the other day and our car has 150
dings on it luckily I parked the Ferrari
inside by pure luck we have moon just to
Dallas and both my
2016 BMW 7-series shattered the
windshield and there’s 150 dings on that
and on our SUV everywhere I mean I can’t
control that I don’t say hail stop it
just happened and we didn’t have enough
in every storage was in a garage so we
can’t even move everything this just
took place I can’t stress over that I
can’t but I do have a problem with
self-inflicted wounds and self-inflicted
wounds are generally happening because
of us not being fully prepared and us
not really being intentional about what
we want to clear about what we want so
we do something without really knowing
the final expectations and results and
then boom we’re frustrated we have a
setback for 3 4 5 10 years and sometimes
20 years you don’t want to have that you
want to make sure you are very clear
about the decisions you’re making as an
entrepreneur the more clear upfront the
less headaches in the back now you know
how many times you hear people say you
know how so when you guys got married
you know how how was the marriage you
know how did you guys meet well our
marriage was sponsored by Budweiser what
do you mean
oh we were in Las Vegas you know we
drank so much Budweiser we got married
three hours later and I woke up with a
ring in my hand and I was featured in a
movie called hangover with a tiger right
around the corner and my Tyson was in
our bedroom what are you talking about
some like that happen well we’re married
we’re in Vegas and then you go get a
divorce so you paid 15 on drugs to get
married anything 750 to get a divorce
and you do within two days in Las Vegas
be overly prepared be overly overly
prepared upfront ask as many questions
as possible and here’s the one thing I
got for you guys here okay so this is
101 questions to ask but I narrowed it
down to 50 questions especially for
those that are entrepreneurs and I have
50 questions for you to ask yourself and
a person that you’re getting married to
and those questions are not only for
someone who is getting married but it’s
also somebody who’s an entrepreneur and
hopefully that’ll help you out so here’s
what I want you to do I want you to go
to the link on the bottom
Mauri we’re gonna put the link on the
bottom go on Patrick baby calm it’s 50
questions to ask before you get married
and you know it’ll help you get clear on
what you’re doing
share that questions also with the
person you’re dating let them answer the
questions if you’re already married and
you’re watching this go through the
questions anyways and start creating
some criterias and
now to getting the marriage on the right
place and the right values all that
stuff they can start working on now to
get it going because this will be by far
one of the most important decisions
you’ll ever make in your life so with
that being said entrepreneurs this was
about entrepreneurship I know it’s about
marriage but it’s one of the most
important decisions you’ll make in your
life that will dictate the success your
business if you haven’t subscribed to
this channel please be sure to do so if
you have questions about what we talked
about or comments comment on the bottom
and thanks for watching take everybody bye-bye
want to get content about
entrepreneurship you may be asking
yourself why is Pat doing a video on how
to get married he’s not a marriage
he’s an entrepreneur talk about business
and scalability and ideation and hiring
and firing and all this type of mess but
look I got a request and I want to
follow up on that request many months
back I did a video called which I talked
about the one thing to teach your kids I
have two boys and have one on the way
this week and so the question was asked
Patrick what’s the one thing the most
important thing you would want to teach
your kids and for the last 15 years I’ve
been talking about this and I say the
number one thing the most important
thing anybody can teach their kids
number one I don’t think anything’s
above this to me it’s how to process
issues and so I said in that video it’s
very important for you to look at life
as in solve for X everything you’ve got
to look at as in I want to solve for X
and today the X is marriage how to get
married so I have three pages of notes
somebody asked me Pat I’m young I want
to get married how do I get married
properly can you give me some feedback
can you do video on this and I have a
large agency that I run with 2,200
licensed agents and 30-some states and
we deal with a lot of husband’s singles
lots of people that are in this business
who run their businesses as a family so
it’s a very important subject to address
and so I’m going to go through a lot of
notes but before I get into this let me
preface something here let me preface
something here no matter what I say no
matter what I say in this video you may
agree or disagree with there’s a couple
things I want you to keep in mind one I
have seen people get married the right
way which means the Christian marries a
Christian they save themselves
everything good doesn’t work out they
get a divorce I’ve seen a Muslim marry a
Muslim and it doesn’t work out I’ve seen
people do everything the right way you
know and they don’t kiss or do anything
till they get married five years late it
doesn’t work out I’ve seen people who do
it come
linkie wrong and it works out they’re
married 10 20 30 years so no matter what
I’m telling you
everything that I’m telling you is about
odds to me life is all about odds you
have a lesser chance of crashing if
you’re going 50 miles an hour in a 50
mile an hour area then you go 100 miles
an hour its odds it’s purely odds
everything in life is odds and what I
what I hopefully by me sharing with you
but some of the things I’ve done over
the years is going to hopefully help you
increase the odds of it working out or
even asking yourself maybe I’m not ready
maybe I shouldn’t get married maybe I
should stay single so I am definitely
looking forward to the dialogue any
questions on the bottom but I think as
an entrepreneur if you’re planning on
building a big Empire for yourself how
you marry somebody and who you marry
will be very very important very
critical than your success so if you’re
watching this and you’re saying I’m
already married what have you going to
say some stuff and I’m not happy you
know what if some of the stuff I did
completely wrong it doesn’t matter
I just improve now based on what you’re
hearing and then go based on that and
make your work so let’s get right into
it so marriage first of all why we get
married so what is the purpose of
getting married let’s process this what
is the purpose of getting married do we
get married because everyone’s getting
married do we get married because you
know how married people like to recruit
other people to get married I’m come
from the school of thought of take your
time and I am married I have kids I’m
happily married currently could turn any
time life change it’s strange things
happen currently right now I’m happily
married and you know but but you know
what am i getting married for because
all married friends men they’re trying
to tell me you should get married
because it’s so great and that that that
that done so in our church my wife my
mother keeps telling me that you got to
get married because you’re 32 years old
and you’re from Ukraine and how come
you’re not getting married I want some
kids and you’re not married yet right
hence our friend viewers behind the
camera laughing right now you know so
you know uh you may be saying well my
dad keeps pressuring me hey it’s time to
get married you know somebody told me if
you’re 28 and not married I had a mentor
mindset if you’re 28 and not married
you’re a menace to society
great man happily marry one of the best
examples of a man I saw in marriage and
family and I really admired that part of
him on what he did but menace to society
so what do you do with all these things
that you hear about yourself right so
for me let’s take it back and ask the
question what’s the purpose of getting
married you want to get married because
you wanna have kids then it makes sense
to get married does your church your
commitment to your faith if you’re a
church-going person and your faith tells
you ought to get married then have kids
and maybe you want to follow and be
committed to your faith then the purpose
of you getting married is aligned with
your faith right you want to get married
because you want to have a partner you
wanna have a lifelong partner then maybe
it makes sense to get married you want
to have a get married to you know tax
purposes I mean there’s so many other
things what is the purpose of you
wanting to get married first get ask
yourself the question the next thing is
there really a perfect timing on when to
get married a lot of people ask so when
is a good time to get married I should I
get married before 30 should I get
married at 32 should I wait till I have
the money should I wait to do this when
is a perfect time to get married and
we’re going to cover some of that stuff
here as well because I think to me the
most important thing is this here’s the
most important thing most people don’t
have any clue on what they’re looking
for before they get married
especially men over women women
typically know what they want women
typically when they’re younger they like
men with the ABS good-looking muscles
all that other stuff and that’s
important as they age and they have jobs
and they realize life is interesting
costly expensive you know security is
important they want a strong person then
they said now the things that I’m
looking for have slightly changed I’m
looking for a man that’s going to take
care of security etc etcetera if that’s
the role she wants to play she may not
want to play that role but that’s the
odds on what you’re looking at that may
be the case so I would rather have you
if you’re not married yet I would rather
have you take the moment you’re watching
this video saying I think now I am
asking myself what I really want because
the moment you get clear on what you’re
looking for everything else is easy
simple like business like most people
want to go out to make a sale or sell
their software
somebody with a product or something to
somebody but they don’t even know what
their ideal client looks like how are
you going to find and sell something if
you don’t even know what your ideal
client looks like you got to first know
your ideal client we’re going to get
that done here today as we talk through
it so benefits of getting married what
are the benefits of getting married
first of all you know you have the
benefits of talking to somebody of the
benefits of established and family with
somebody a vested deep rooted
relationship a friend for the rest of
your life that knows pretty much
everything about you your flaws your
insecurities your weaknesses your fears
your joys your you know Earths your all
this other stuff there is that
relationship that’s being built you got
somebody to go through for second
opinion on issues and business and life
and everything you’re building and
raising kids together you kind of see
the dynamics of two different human
beings that’s being taught a gentle and
a stronger side and you know raising
kids with certain set of standards and
you know that the blood is going to
continue because there’s someone that
you’re going to be able to live your
life through with your kids etc etc
increased earning power is also
beneficial you know family there’s to
earning power help someone to help you
one day we’re all going to be 65 75
years old and you’re now going to stay
25 or 35 forever it’s good to have
somebody as you age when you look at
your family and other people it’s
beneficial when there’s somebody on
earth that’s helping you out
companionship someone to be there you
know and there’s obviously many other
benefits that come when come with that
now benefits of staying single few
responsibilities you probably don’t have
as many gray hair that comes my gray
hair came I’m not kidding with you when
I got married and started having kids
and we gave birth to a company called
PHP this gray hair started showing up I
never had gray hair so now when I shave
greater comes out of here so there are a
lot of when you’re single you don’t have
those things you’re worried about one
person you’re not necessarily having to
support anybody else so less pressure
responsibility you know less things to
be worried about you can go and date and
do whatever you want to do grows boys it
doesn’t matter you’re not fully married
to somebody or given a ring to somebody
so you’re still a free agent you’re not
really doing anything
wrong yours conscious doesn’t feel bad
if you’re talking to a girl here and a
girl here in a grid or guy it just you
have none of that right now a lot of
single guys they’ll come up and they’ll
say but Pat you don’t understand man
this thing’s getting gold and Papa for
me the single I’ve got all pretty
quickly maybe because I started earlier
I don’t know but the single I’ve got
done pretty quickly because it’s very
easy it’s boring it’s like the same
thing I mean what do you there isn’t
anything to me that was a challenge it
was it was fine it was great but it’s a
short life span eventually kind of get
boredom of doing that you know you go
into an empty apartment when you’re
single table for one when you go to
restaurants or table for two but it’s a
different person every time okay girl so
there’s not really any deep-rooted
relationships so much effort placed on
meeting new people and going to this
place and buying a drink and doing this
it’s just you’re fishing forever versus
trying to build a massive legacy for
yourself when you’re staying single now
again I support staying single as well
but it’s about what you’re really
looking for so what do people marry for
let’s talk about what do people marry
for Cali people say I’m getting married
because man the sex is amazing I mean
you have no idea how amazing she’s in
bed I mean the other day we were doing
this one thing and honestly I felt like
we could go into the adult entertainment
business because it was ridiculous what
was going on the bedroom we broke the
bed we got complaints and I got evicted
all at the same time and guess what
what the alarm went off of the cars
parked outside man and the windows were
closed she screams that loud no me I was
screaming bro was amazing it was
ecstatic
holy moly okay so this guy you’re not
necessarily trying to marry somebody
you’re trying to start they adult
entertainment business you know a girl
may be able to go my god you don’t
understand this guy you know he was just
insane man I feel like this was read who
is this guy you know it’s like Zeus
showed up out of nowhere you know we
have this stuck I mean it was in a bit
oh my gosh you should have seen been
there you know on all these stories I’m
sure girls
gossip and they tell the stories and sex
was amazing I love him I love him so
much he made me cry in the middle of it
I mean these stories I hear sometimes
I’m not in Mario’s Greg it up all
monistic
you don’t understand in the middle of it
I had tears coming down my eyes I’m like
okay all right I’m getting married with
that purpose you know another reason why
sometimes people get married is the only
person I’ve ever had sex with so this is
kind of like it’s what I’m supposed to
do the only person so he took mine away
and she took you know so this is it you
know since I have to like I’m have to
you know because this is I give my
innocence to him and I’m kind of this is
what I got to do okay another one is oh
my god he’s so sexy he’s so good-looking
did you see him in that suit did you see
him in the shirt he got on me so good
luck and man I just look at him wearing
that Hawaii shirt you know
Mario’s got the shirt on today that
really has the entire staff concern but
uh he looks so good oh she’s so sexy did
you see her calves let me tell you her
calves Balamory what so you show your
most incredibly ludicrous shirt I’ve
ever seen in my life your wife made me
be over that shirt I’m just letting you
know so you know butBut people may say
things like you know he’s so
good-looking no she saw jar legs Oh her
legs should see your legs well your neck
is just phenomenal you know hurting all
this stuff wood looks okay so I want to
get married to this guy because it’s
good luck in another bow you make so
much money he’s so rich she comes from
money she comes from a wealthy family
you know what her last name is what’s
her last name her last name is Kennedy
no way yes she’s related man she’s got a
Kennedy last name what’s her last name
all this stuff that you hear about right
now McGann money lots of money so I can
go and be taken care of I mean really
honestly you know reputation you know
I’m getting married for reputation
career he’s got Korea got this you know
or some people expect this notebook type
of a story no you don’t understand you
know it’s like you don’t know what type
of a love story we have because you guys
don’t have our type of a love so how
would you ever understand our love story
it’s tough because Patrick I’m telling
you you don’t really know love like we
know love you know I mean I look at him
and I feel the spirit you know when I
look at him I just know we’re like
notebook you know movies are gonna be
made about our love story and then
there’s this expectation of a notebook
type of a movie right you know you’re
gonna get married and you know you’re
gonna run in the middle the wedding’s
gonna start raining and you’re gonna oh
and you know she picks up you know or
like Oh dirty dancing type of thing I
had the time of my life she runs you
pick her up perfectly and turn and then
Patrick Swayze you come and you sing to
her she’s like the wind you know no one
puts Baby in the corner all this kind of
mist you hear about damn it shut up
so that’s all great you know because
when you talk to somebody who’s been
married for a while they’ll typically
give you that smirk into laughing you
know look how you know what you guys are
so this but look that’s some of the
reasons why people get married you know
for me I can tell you a few things when
I think about marriage I can tell you a
few things like the first thing I would
tell you from my end is who you decide
to get married is so important it’s ten
times more important than you think it
is who you decide to get married but
also at the same time you got to be
clear on what you’re looking for in my
opinion the one thing I’ll always ask
people is look have three
non-negotiables what are your three
non-negotiables what are the three
things you are not willing to negotiate
with anybody even if it’s Brad Pitt
you’re getting married or Rachel McAdams
what are your 3 non-negotiables what are
they what are three things
that you I’m talking to you not people
around you this is not something you
talk to your mom dad brother sister
cousin this is you you and I talking
what are your three non-negotiables what
is it is one I can’t marry somebody
that’s been married before or you don’t
care is one they can’t have any kids
from prior marriages or you don’t care
is one they need to have a career is one
they have to have a bachelor’s degree
that may be your standard that’s totally
fine it’s got to be important to you and
not to anybody else is one they got to
be similar faith as you one they don’t
need to have a fate because you don’t
like people who are religious because
it’s you know that you’re atheist you
want them to it doesn’t matter what are
your non-negotiables because here’s the
one thing you can’t force a person to
love you and you can’t force yourself to
love somebody you can’t people have
tried so many times it’s not possible
had AG idea that I was talking to a very
good friend of mine and he was telling
me man how is it possible for this girl
to not like me right good friend of mine
and he knows two years and we’re sanaka
how’s the pasta positive past miles are
possible he’s in a real estate business
right so how is it possible that this
doesn’t you know and she’s this and
she’s the house that posit I said dude
listen many girls have not like me what
are you gonna do I don’t want to be with
somebody that doesn’t like me quite
frankly I don’t want to win you over I
don’t there’s a lot of people that watch
value to me that don’t like value taemin
people who watch value tainment are two
people who love value tainment and you
like the content that you’re learning
same as life you can’t force somebody to
love you so you can’t really go but I
have to be non-negotiable
I had mine and I was very clear at the
time when when I was 28 I’m doing very
well on business I told myself I’m gonna
stay single I’m not gonna get married
and then I had a friend of mine Sandra
patty you remember patty patty
recommended me book and it was a book
called 101 questions to ask before you
get engaged I eventually ended up
interview this man Norman write 101
questions to ask before you get engaged
and then I got clear on what I was
looking for and then it had a list of
people that had girls that I was talking
to at that time all girls I liked and I
went through everything in questions
with every single one of them and it
didn’t make sense to me
I just didn’t because the
non-negotiables were automatically
checked off and I wasn’t trying to put
them in the box because I know my
and I know what I can’t work with and
you got to know yourself you gotta know
what you can’t work with and the moment
I knew myself and I know what I couldn’t
work with why am I gonna put somebody
else through that misery remember it’s
not about you I’m going to put that
person around the misery because you
know how you’re dating somebody in the
first six months we faked it you know
what I’m talking about
we faked a lot by the way it’s not just
you know when they talk about fake what
do you call it fake a fake or or fake
you’re about to say Myra was about very
core chasms you don’t think men have
fake orgasms except ours are different
you know how our things are this is how
we have fake orgasms oh my gosh you love
flowers meet flowers so much what are
your favorite type of flowers and we say
the only one we know is what red roses
what are the type of flowers you know
yeah ginger that’s not a flower oh I’m
not just you know I just there is a
flower called ginger it’s from South
Africa you’ve never seen it look oh
sheesh I got to get away with it okay
it’s like that’s our fake orgasm you
know so so let me let me let me ask you
how do you feel about poetry poetry
poetry I’m not gonna lie to you I almost
got Shakespeare’s entire play tatted on
my back
but the guy didn’t have enough ink so we
didn’t do it because you know yet an ink
problem and I didn’t want to leave it
halfway but I mean I love poetry so
what’s your favorite poetry by
Shakespeare um uh Gone with the Wind
what God with the wind well it was like
he was gone with the wind cuz the wind
was pretty bad we talked about the movie
no no no it’s just was a windy day you
know it’s just windy days what it was
and what the hell are you saying right I
mean guys will say some stuff like that
on dates don’t do that don’t do that you
are you are putting yourself in trouble
okay one of the first things I told my
wife I said look when we first started
dating I said look second date I bought
this book for the girl are you married
my wife second date I got this book for
as he can read she says why I’m not
looking to sleep Iran I’m not looking
for girls anymore I am not looking for
any of that stuff I want to see if this
is it I have no desire to like you
and and we start being too comfortable
and I were together for three years and
we know it’s not gonna work yet I don’t
want to do that to you and I don’t want
to do that to myself I really like you a
lot you’re attractive I like your
personality but let’s see if we can go
further she reads the book a week later
we get together six hours we go through
every single answer together in a book
we’re married we got to get someone on
the way and we’re still doing good every
morning I tell I said look we’ve been
married for six years and eight months I
don’t know but I think we can be married
for six years and nine months I don’t
know if we can marry for 40 years but I
think we can be married for one more
month what do you think let’s try this
thing for one more month and then we go
one more month and I want more play
Teresa look you think we can do one more
month let’s go on a month the pressure
of I have to make it work because people
are going to judge I don’t care if
anybody judges I’m building my family
and I have to make the choices and I
want to set an example to my kids and a
person that I chose to marry but those
are mine this is why it’s very important
for you to know what you’re looking for
when you want to get married and you
want to have somebody you want to build
a family with so three non-negotiable is
priority to me the moment you know it
you’ll save yourself a lot of times
here’s a few things to be thinking about
to me I got into a debate the other day
with a family member and she said well
you know it’s very important for people
to marry with similar religious beliefs
I said okay my wife and I did that it
was good but I’ve seen people that get
married for not the same beliefs and it
worked you know and I’ve seen people
that get married for the same it doesn’t
work I think one of the most important
things that Tom and I was just talking
about this right before we agreed on is
alignment and here’s what alignment is
about alignment is about if a Christian
marries a Christian hypothetically okay
Muslim marries a Muslim Catholic
marriage Catholic but she believes in
capitalism and he believes in communism
not going to work out it’s complete
opposite principles you minimize the
odds to the lowest level now why do I
think political and economic issues are
going to be more problematic than faith
because generally
if we took every single religion and we
wrote them out here on the wall and we
wrote out the Ten Commandments for every
single religion do you know how many
commonalities you’ll find met most don’t
be promiscuous don’t kill somebody don’t
still don’t do this don’t judge I mean
it’s pretty much identical if we go
through every one of them I’ve chosen my
own faith because I studied it a lot and
had to find out what was for me but
generally when I studied it’s the same
thing being said on Commandments not the
stories not the truth on Commandments it
was the same thing but when it comes
down to my mother was a communist and my
father’s an imperialist and I watch I
mean I grew up in a confuses when you
have a mother’s a communist and dad’s an
imperialist I watched the mindset fight
all the time
didn’t work out 20 years I did it got a
divorce you know World War three almost
got started over this and I just watch
it over and over and over again right so
I think it’s very important to be
aligned in beliefs that you guys both
have beliefs beliefs is very critical
alignment and beliefs is very critical
in my opinion it’s important so faith
politics finance health your sex life
the more stuff you talk about upfront
the better it is because somebody may be
expecting this type of sex and this
person is not somebody may be expecting
you know to buy you by her venue no
Fendi bag and really the time back and
you don’t want to do that your coach
type of a person got to talk about that
you got to talk about who’s going to
handle finances and all those things up
front common values very important
opposing strength very important I like
the fact that personalities are opposite
minds completely different than I am my
wife and have complete opposite
personalities magic is extremely
important you got to have that you know
you know the magic you know when my wife
and I went on our first date it was
always you know hey when I saw her we
laughed we had the the twinkle in our
eyes was Kanak now I’m excited to see
you you know and so it was at PF Changs
December 29th 2007 I remember that day
when she came in and I was at the bar
having a glass of wine and when we
talked and at the end of the day were
the last person to leave PF Changs and
the waiters there and I pulled away
I pulled away to reset I said can I get
your help he says yes I said look my
wife here she wasn’t my wife it’s on our
first date I said my wife here wants to
leave me and it’s very difficult we’ve
been having this conversation all day
today she wants to leave me
so as why does he want to leave you
because we don’t have the same religion
and she has a very big problem with that
this poor waiter he sat there for 20
minutes and my girlfriend at that time
wife now she’s just sitting there trying
to hold it together and this guy’s like
look ma’am he seems like a good man give
him a chance and it’s good luck oh my
god
it was pure entertainment I probably
shouldn’t been doing that I had too many
glass of wine that night but it was
entertaining we had fun together right
opposite strengths important keep that
part of my magic very important more
issues you dress up front the better it
is later but leave me you’ll save
yourself a lot of time it’s almost like
negotiating contract with a business
partner I’d like to get everything up
front so it doesn’t come up later do as
much talking as you can up front instead
of later when it comes out to money who
handles finances bills vacations how
often we take vacations family time all
that stuff in-laws somebody live with us
can your mom live with us or UK my dad
live with us you know later on some
happens I don’t want to do no one can
ever live with us you want to know that
kind of stuff now is it a deal breaker
non-negotiable maybe not for you but you
want to know about that stuff up front
because you know I remember my sister
was getting married I sat there and I’ll
never forget when my dad said to their
family my dad sat and he said this to
their family said look keep this part of
mine this is my dad he said we’re not
getting married
Darry getting married he’s looking at
the in-laws and he said you and I are
getting you and I have one job our job
is to stay where out of their business
and support them to keep them together
that’s our job we don’t get involved in
a business and he’s going through this
whole thing
I’m sinner saying you know what what a
great counsel to give to say that you
just got to keep them together and he’s
done a great job with that because if
you don’t do that a lot of time family
will get involved to tell you all this
stuff that you need to do this you need
to do that you need to do that there’s a
rift and you got to be able to make you
work with your wife and your husband the
person you’re married now how to get
married let’s get into this part how to
get married okay
so this is this is what I suggest so I
suggest creating a criteria of who you
admire that has the life that you want
for instance for me married you know 10
20 30 years healthy kids healthy
marriage healthy success driven person
that’s doing some big I’m an
entrepreneur I’m an all the timer I’m
not going to sit there and somebody
tells me you know what the problem is
Patrick as somebody that when it got
counsel from a guy this guy is running a
business doing very well for himself and
the guy says this to him well you know I
think you work too hard you know you
should be home by 5 o’clock at night and
a guy has a regular job as a teacher and
he’s telling a person you have to be
home at night not everybody has your
life mister teacher they just don’t
we’re entrepreneurs it almost confused
the guy no no that’s running a business
no I want to talk to somebody that’s in
my life if I’m an athlete and I’m
playing basketball I want to talk to an
athlete that made his marriage work
how’d you do it if I’m a Hollywood actor
I’m going to talk to somebody like Paul
Newman that stayed married 50 years
how’d you do it what’s your secret you
know whatever space am i want to talk to
that person so create your criteria go
to that person and ask for counsel I
took my girlfriend at that time my wife
now and we went on dates and I sat him
down with certain people and I said I
just want you to meet her and tell me
what you think afterwards and we did and
I left him alone and said just talk and
give me your feedback these are people I
value their opinion and she did the same
as well I went to use some text to meet
her family
you know these folks are from Texas and
Arkansas oh my gosh
I pulled the most ridiculous pranks on
these folks they said so Patrick where
you from I said you know I’m from Iran
and I was part of their Secret Service
group for many many years in Iran I
can’t really get into it but I retired
and I’ve chosen to live a better life
now and I want to marry your daughter
and the mother looking at me like
shows this guy you’re dating and my wife
says baby she my mom she’s just kidding
he’s just kidding so we had a great time
but you gotta be able to have somebody
else give you their thoughts on what it
is you don’t want to be blinded by it
either the other thing I will tell you
is this I also recommend you know for me
Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett are
big fans of inversion like you know what
way not to do it what way the complete
opposite you know here’s the right way
to do it what’s the wrong way to do it I
want to find that also what’s the wrong
way to do it like you know when people
come up to me and they’ll say Pat give
me some counts I say listen let me take
the mistakes I made here here’s what I
did wrong let me taste I would say what
are the mistakes you made I’m always
asking what mistakes did you make as
well because I can tell you I learned
from my mistakes here’s what I did wrong
so I want to talk to some people that it
didn’t work out on what happened you
know and some of the best counsel I got
was from my dad and his marriage didn’t
work out he’s given me very good counsel
on marriage very very good counsel so
life is funny life is interesting there
is no level of judgment towards this
person or that person we all have a
different you know hand that’s dealt to
us at different parts of our lives and
it comes down to the choices that we
make sometimes we make mistakes
sometimes the opposite person makes
mistakes and sometimes we both make
mistakes but generally it’s never only
one person’s fault there’s always
something that gives birth to somebody
else so but there’s a lot to be learned
from everybody so that’s the one thing
you got to be keeping keeping in mind
when it comes down to that and then is
that that when our abilities are become
cancer okay got it
now are you been ready to get married
next month or even ready to get married
look if you’re extremely promiscuous and
you can’t stop yourself or control
yourself you’re not ready you’re just
not ready you don’t just all of a sudden
wake up the next once you’re married and
you look at every woman and every one
that looks like a man and said I’ve just
not turned down by a woman anymore
wait wait a minute you’ve been
promiscuous for 15 years you think all
of a sudden this whole thing’s gonna
stop like what do you think happens know
that habit needs to drop a little bit
and then it goes away it doesn’t just go
away overnight that doesn’t just boom
I’m done and I’m doing this no habit
needs a little bit of work so if you’re
still wanting to date a lot and you
can’t drop that habit you know I suggest
you go on a fast and see if you can
handle a fast and then work based on
that okay these
they’ve many girls at the same time if
you do that’s a challenge are you able
to be with one partner obviously that’s
critical you know when my wife and I sat
down and we were getting ready to
propose when I was getting ready to
propose to her I told her one thing I
said look I want you to know something
you may like me because I’m tall maybe
you like me cuz I’m six five maybe you
like me because you know you feel safe
with me maybe you say I feel like a
tough guy whatever she would say that
you like me because of my sense of humor
you like me because you know of my
success or you know my business or
whatever I just want you to know there’s
gonna be somebody taller than me
stronger than me a better fighter
protects you better and makes more money
more successful what are you going to do
when that person appears huh because the
reality of it is your beautiful lips
your beautiful face love your hair
love your body look how gentle your love
how kind you are love how good you are
to me but what am I going to do when I
run into somebody who’s got nicer lips
nicer face nicer hair nicer this what
are we going to do I said you know the
same way I treat business that for me
there’s a lot of great industries I
chose one industry and I wanted to be
the best in this industry and I said I’m
going to go until I become the best in
this industry where I can look at myself
and say Pat you’ve done good I want to
do the same with a family so I asked
this question and we went back and forth
with us he you know when we get married
we’re choosing to know that there’s
still all those people out there but I’m
choosing you my wife and I will be awed
and I’ll say babe look at that girl she
looks very good
what could I grow right there in my on
she’s a very good-looking guy you should
very good-looking grown man well we’ll
see you again I’ll say look no babe what
do you think about that guy I think guys
a good-looking guy and she’ll look it’s
a good-looking guy and I’ll have the guy
come and come by and I’ll say look man I
got to tell you something man what is
the deal with your eyes you good-looking
guy man what do you got going on there
we’ll tell me about your family
I’m curious so we have that relationship
it’s not oh my gosh no because then it’s
a lie it’s a fake marriage I don’t want
a fake relationship with anybody I don’t
like fake people I’m not a fake person I
don’t want to be fake with other people
because I don’t like it when people are
with me so real a baby just tell me
I think it’s good-looking okay cool I
think she’s good-looking all right good
you want to go home let’s go to make
some babies and you know we go do our
thing right so you know again a lot of
that stuff you talk
upfront more the better financial
difficulty say what are we going to do
when we go through the financial
difficulties what happens if we lose
everything what happens if we lose
everything what are we gonna do I talk
about this stuff I just want to know
what do you think about that as part of
the questions most people don’t talk
about all this stuff but most people are
not even watching this video and however
many minutes it is right now it should
be around 34 35 36 7 minutes whatever
the timeline is most people not even
watching a past this point you know why
because we’re comic I don’t need to
watch this video mmm I’m never gonna get
married and then when we get married and
we have problems versus why don’t you
feed your mind get some ways of thinking
that you can do to make it better and
then make that decision for yourself
right should you even consider getting
married you may be watching the same
dude I don’t even want to get married
then don’t I’ve no desire dude then
don’t let anybody convince you you know
I think I’m ready okay then why do you
think you’re ready do you think you’re
ready maybe the girl doesn’t think
you’re ready I had a very simple
question I would ask myself was a simple
one it was always this if your daughter
met a man like you would you be okay
with her marrying you when I was 24 the
answer was an absolute no no way there’s
no way in the world I would let her
marry a guy like me not at 24 just not
going to happen so I worked on that year
two years three years four years and
then I said I think now I’m not saying
I’m a great guy I’m not saying I’m a you
know but I think now I am more mature
prepared to be able to do that if I had
a daughter that met a guy like me I’d be
more comfortable about it now then I was
confident when I’m talking to a person
on that subject but you don’t want to
wing this part this is not a this is not
like politics where you run for four
years for office and it’s like oh okay
we can’t pay you no mayor for years next
woman now you don’t want to do that it
costs a lot headache and knowing another
person financial it’s just there’s so
many frustrations about it not happens
but you want to do it as proper and be
prepared upfront as possible so you know
some of the questions that have come up
as people will say should I ask
everything or should I tell them
everything look I don’t know how to put
this to everybody I think transparency
is very critical because if you don’t
it’s going to come out generally other
people find out or something comes in or
some way when my wife and I started
dating anybody was sending us letters
did you know this did you know that did
you know this did you know that so
everything would tip
become especially today if there’s a
time you don’t want to lie it’s today
today’s like look there’s videos that
are there about everybody I mean you
know I wonder sometimes I sit and I
wonder I say what if when I was 18 years
old all of us had a confirmed with a
video oh my you know what videos would
it’s just it would be a whole different
story if we had videos and the stuff
that we were doing if Mario if phone
videos were around when I was in the
military you would not call this channel
value tainment it would just purely be
entertainment there would be no value
about it it’d be just pure entertainment
just watching to see watch this video
that’s me at 18 years old yeah I just
did that stupid thing that you caught on
video so you know how much can you hide
nowadays everyone’s got skeletons in the
closet if anybody you ever talked to one
of the questions in here which is one of
my favorite one says if you talk to
somebody and they tell you they don’t
have any you know baggage and they’re
you know any skeletons in the closet run
cuz everybody does so transparent here’s
what I got this what happened here’s
what I did
it’s what took place with me I don’t
like dead weight I like soft pillows and
if I’ve done something wrong and you
know some happen no one’s perfect I’m
not expecting everybody to walk on water
or anybody walk on water but
transparency helps a lot so look at the
end of the day you know know that
choosing to get married or stay single
it’s a choice that you have you know
it’s going to take dedication it’s going
to take a lot of work if you’re an
entrepreneur watching this which most of
your entrepreneur data file on this
channel it’s even more important for you
and I just so you know that it’s not
it’s double triple as important as you
and I to get married the proper way very
important you know entrepreneurship has
a lot of highs a lot of great things
that happens a lot of great experiences
but you don’t want to add more headaches
to your life because you lose momentum
see I don’t have a problem with somebody
rear-ending me when I’m driving a car I
don’t have a problem with you know it
hell’s the other day and our car has 150
dings on it luckily I parked the Ferrari
inside by pure luck we have moon just to
Dallas and both my
2016 BMW 7-series shattered the
windshield and there’s 150 dings on that
and on our SUV everywhere I mean I can’t
control that I don’t say hail stop it
just happened and we didn’t have enough
in every storage was in a garage so we
can’t even move everything this just
took place I can’t stress over that I
can’t but I do have a problem with
self-inflicted wounds and self-inflicted
wounds are generally happening because
of us not being fully prepared and us
not really being intentional about what
we want to clear about what we want so
we do something without really knowing
the final expectations and results and
then boom we’re frustrated we have a
setback for 3 4 5 10 years and sometimes
20 years you don’t want to have that you
want to make sure you are very clear
about the decisions you’re making as an
entrepreneur the more clear upfront the
less headaches in the back now you know
how many times you hear people say you
know how so when you guys got married
you know how how was the marriage you
know how did you guys meet well our
marriage was sponsored by Budweiser what
do you mean
oh we were in Las Vegas you know we
drank so much Budweiser we got married
three hours later and I woke up with a
ring in my hand and I was featured in a
movie called hangover with a tiger right
around the corner and my Tyson was in
our bedroom what are you talking about
some like that happen well we’re married
we’re in Vegas and then you go get a
divorce so you paid 15 on drugs to get
married anything 750 to get a divorce
and you do within two days in Las Vegas
be overly prepared be overly overly
prepared upfront ask as many questions
as possible and here’s the one thing I
got for you guys here okay so this is
101 questions to ask but I narrowed it
down to 50 questions especially for
those that are entrepreneurs and I have
50 questions for you to ask yourself and
a person that you’re getting married to
and those questions are not only for
someone who is getting married but it’s
also somebody who’s an entrepreneur and
hopefully that’ll help you out so here’s
what I want you to do I want you to go
to the link on the bottom
Mauri we’re gonna put the link on the
bottom go on Patrick baby calm it’s 50
questions to ask before you get married
and you know it’ll help you get clear on
what you’re doing
share that questions also with the
person you’re dating let them answer the
questions if you’re already married and
you’re watching this go through the
questions anyways and start creating
some criterias and
now to getting the marriage on the right
place and the right values all that
stuff they can start working on now to
get it going because this will be by far
one of the most important decisions
you’ll ever make in your life so with
that being said entrepreneurs this was
about entrepreneurship I know it’s about
marriage but it’s one of the most
important decisions you’ll make in your
life that will dictate the success your
business if you haven’t subscribed to
this channel please be sure to do so if
you have questions about what we talked
about or comments comment on the bottom
and thanks for watching take everybody bye-bye
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