so typically if you recognize this set
and you recognize this man here you
would have him interview everybody but
today we’re gonna interview the man
Lewis house the author of a book that’s
completely blown me away I kind of have
to open up to you and tell you you know
how this whole thing happened with this
book so the first time I was reading an
article I think was an ink magazine
article that said here’s a five books
you need to read in twenty fourteen or
fifteen when this came out it was the
school of greatness and I read the book
and I said you know it’s it’s it’s a
modern version of a Laws of Success by
Napoleon Hill good book but I didn’t
recommend it to anybody I’m just telling
you I don’t recommend it to anybody sure
but I thought it was a good book this
book I read this book and I’m telling
you right now
every body in the world needs to read
this book and I’ll tell you story why
it’s called mask of masculinity so many
many years ago i as a a type personality
you know cocky competitive I’m gonna
take over the world I’m number on all
this other stuff that we have in our
minds years ago had a guy named Bob
Hastings who tells me I need to read a
book called Samson syndrome so I said it
aside I don’t need to read the book and
then he calls my wife and he says
Jennifer you need to read this because
your husband is gonna read this book so
then Jennifer reads the book Samson
syndrome she reads the book were in bed
and she says babe you got to read this
book Samson syndrome this is exactly a
book that I believe every woman needs to
read to understand men better so prior
to getting into it you know what made
you even want to write a book like
especially with all the stuff that’s
going on right now what did you want to
write a book like this because I
realized that I was living in a lot of
pain and suffering and I didn’t want to
feel trapped anymore emotionally I was
achieving so much in my outer world I
was very competitive I still am but I
was very competitive and everything was
a live or die situation on winning and
being right essentially
and I achieved a lot financially
sports-wise all those things but I felt
empty and unfulfilled still and I never
knew why I just thought this was the way
of life so I would always strive for
more and more and more and nothing would
fulfill that emptiness or that
loneliness and when I finally four years
ago started opening up about a lot of
things that I was afraid of people
knowing about me it gave me so much
freedom now people knew everything about
me and they still liked me they still
loved me they still accepted me they
almost loved me even more the stuff they
knew about me that I was afraid of I
said wow it’s a sense of freedom that I
never had in my life
the things I started opening up about
where I was raped by a man when I was
five and for 25 years I didn’t tell
anyone and it was just constantly in the
back of my head you know it’s kind of
like constantly ruling my life and
everything else that I was ashamed of
feeling like a an insecure stupid kid
who was in the special needs classes
being dyslexic being kind of picked on
just like all those other things I
didn’t want to talk about so I would
mask them by being a great athlete by
making money by showing off in other
ways to gain acceptance and to belong
into the world and I realized that was a
lot of it was a facade and I felt
resentful always of myself because other
people really didn’t know who I was and
I wasn’t allowing them to see me for who
I was and yet they were accepting me for
something I wasn’t were you acting did
you feel like you’re acting like you’re
being somebody or not or it was more
subtle it was like subconscious wasn’t
like I’m gonna do this to like fit in
Hofstra like was there posturing or not
really no I think it was just like I was
defensive and guarded and insecure I
wouldn’t let anybody in yeah one of the
people an interesting when I would let
him into a certain place if I come here
and then stay away you know it was like
come here close enough but they’re not
too close desire me but don’t get to
fully know me you know want me but you
can’t have me was this with everybody
including mom dad your brother your
family everyone
everybody won yeah and I wasn’t even
aware of it though god I think was just
like well this is the way life is I’m
not supposed to open up you’re not
supposed to express these things you’re
not supposed to talk about these
insecurities at least things that have
gone through because then you won’t fit
in then people won’t like you then
they’re gonna judge you so it’s just my
own like misconception of how to live a
meaningful life and I was like but
they’ll love me and they’ll accept me
and they’ll appreciate me if I can
provide for them if I achieve certain
results if I make money if I whatever
have the nice house the car whatever
then they’ll accept me and think I’m
cool I’ll fit in and I realized that
thirty when a lot of things in my life
were kind of crumbling down in my inner
world I went through kind of a bad
breakup with my girlfriend at the time I
had a bad breakup with my business
partner at the time and I was taking all
this anger and frustration out into the
world if someone looked at me the wrong
way it was like you want to fight me
type of mentality it was like if someone
cut me off in a car driving in LA would
you been here so it was like it was like
let me get up in front of you and show
you I’m number one like or let me even
one time I got out of my car I was one
of those guys who was like you’re gonna
do this to me like it was like an attack
on my life right so everything was fela
gonna attack I played basketball and I
got in a really bad fight with a guy who
I felt like it was attacking me it was
like I didn’t know how to express myself
in healthier ways than just being angry
and reacting what caused this though
what caused what what caused this uh
wanting to not open up with everybody
what caused this raid what causes fire I
think the fear of not being accepted and
not fitting in we all want to belong we
all want to feel loved and feel accepted
no one wants to be isolated for a long
time no one wants to feel like they
don’t belong to a community and I felt
very isolated my entire childhood so I
just didn’t want to feel alone anymore
alone in my family alone with my friends
school all these things so I said what
can I do to fit in better what can I do
to get acknowledged better
what can I do for people to love me for
something as opposed to make fun of me
for something mm-hmm I think a lot of
kids go through a phase of what getting
picked on bullied made fun of like it
happens to all of us it’s not like I had
a unique situation but there weren’t
really tools when you’re five of like oh
you just got raped by man here’s what to
do
there’s no hotline for when you get
sexually abused
dude you little bring that up to mom or
dad no one knew why would I tell my mom
or dad when the shame the guilt the
insecurity the I don’t even know what
really just happened yes the feeling of
like I know something’s not right but
I’m not doing how do I talk about this
so how did you start I mean so you say
25 years they just start with family
first and then the public lot I started
with it was actually a workshop that I
went to I so after all this kind of
stuff happened in my relationships
business intimate fighting on a
basketball court I was like okay
something’s not working like yes I’m
achieving things on the outside world
and people look say that I’m killing it
but why is my inner world suffering
constantly so I said okay it’s time
maybe it was 30 I hit 30 and I was like
all right I’m finally willing to like
look within maybe it was like the
perfect storm of these kind of like
arguments and breakups and fights I was
like all right something’s not working
let me look within and so I talked to
therapists friends I hired liked OSHA’s
I went to workshop so I was like let me
just try anything and even though I was
kind of like I already know this stuff
you know everything you’re telling me
because you’re doing teaching this I
know this stuff like what can you teach
it still had that egoic mentality of
like all right I guess this is the way I
am deal with it and I went to a workshop
that was about 50 people in it it was an
emotional intelligence workshop so that
the Chris Risley one yeah and it was
almost like you and even the first few
days I’m kind of like what I need to be
here this is stupid like I should be
teaching this workshop right I don’t
tell myself but they’re created a lot of
games and exercises where we talked
about like our past with our relations
with our parents it’s kind of like their
group therapy in a sense but similar
pain amongst the 50 people or yeah but
everyone had a different experience
everyone had like stuff with their
mother dead or breakup in the past or
the divorce or like some people had like
their kids who passed away and I’m like
dealing with different issues so this is
this is this is a lot of deep a lot of
deep issues yeah I mean there’s a local
here in the SoCal local here in LA but
people were coming from all over the
place and it got to a point where it’s a
third day of this five day experience
and the people are really opening up at
this time people are talking about their
biggest fears the challenges and so
people are being vulnerable I’m kind of
just still acting like I’m cool
but I addressed a lot of these things I
addressed stuff about my parents
with people who did these exercises and
games and group stuff and I address some
of these things and then there’s a point
where Kris said okay we have talked
about everything from your past that
hasn’t worked for you or that’s holding
you back or that you’re afraid of or
that you’re insecure about we’ve talked
about it all had you already opened up
by the way now he said he said this is
the turning point if you haven’t
addressed anything you need to talk
about still there’s anything that’s
holding her back does anything you’re
afraid to talk about if there’s anything
that like he just rambled off and I was
like he was like now is the time to
speak or forever hold your peace because
we’re moving towards the future now of
the life you want to create I was
thinking to myself I talked about my
brother being in prison and me having no
friends for four years because none of
the neighborhood parents would let their
kid and you were young or eight years
old yeah acres are one good and that was
like you know in a white you know
middle-class suburban neighborhood no
other white people were going to prison
that I knew in my little town it was
like a small town so I was like I was
the bad kid right he’s mixed he’s gonna
be next doing this yeah I talked about
that I talked about my parents being
divorced which pretty much everyone else
in the room talked about their parents
getting divorced I talked about being
the special needs classes like all these
things that was frustrated with I talked
about past relationship challenges you
know fears and I was like what about
that time when I was raped it’s just
kind of went through my mind I was like
why have I never told anyone this yet
it’s been on my mind every single day
for 25 years every single day every
single day like I would have an image or
just like a quick thing and I just like
pass
the side like it wasn’t like I thought
about a constant leap inside or a song a
movie you want to bring it up you know
and never like okay well it just
happened whatever and I was like huh why
have I never talked about this so in
that moment I was just like whether it
was everyone else was opening up and
like it was the context of this
experience and I just felt like I had to
do it now so I got up in front of the
room and told the whole story for the
first time in front of these 50 people
and I couldn’t look anyone in the eye so
I was just looking down at the floor cuz
I was so ashamed and guilty and insecure
about what they would think of me was
there anybody there that you knew or no
was it just yeah I mean I got to know
them family friends were not there here
so I was kind of like strangers
so you open up open up in tears you’re
looking down I don’t even show emotion
I’m like looking down the whole time and
I talk about it and then I tell the
whole story from the site to smell the
taste everything
sit down and it was like an eruption of
emotions I was just bawling for the next
few minutes I couldn’t control myself
just like finally I was allowing myself
to express the the pain that I was
feeling all her life and there was these
two women on either side of me just like
holding me and crying as well so it was
like a it was healing but I was also
like terrified of what these people were
to think of me so I run out of the hotel
conference room right where we’re doing
the workshop I run out of the hotel
outside there’s like a back alley with a
wall and I just like go up against the
wall put my head in my hand and I’m just
like crying I’m like I don’t want anyone
to see me on the barest and it was
probably one of the most beautiful
experiences I had what happened next
one by one the men who were in that room
came up to me and looked me in the eyes
and they were like you’re my hero
they just all came up to me they’re like
you’re so courageous like this is so
brave of you you’re my hero
and then something interesting they
started opening up about their
experiences that they were unwilling to
talk about some of them faced sexual
abuse others it was other things they
hadn’t said yet that they were ashamed
of and they’d been holding on to and all
of them just started talking to me about
everything and they’re like I will
follow you anywhere if you have the
courage to talk about this like then I
trust you I’ll do whatever you tell me
to do were you expecting that react what
now at the opposite I was expecting like
them to push me away to make fun of me
whatever I was just afraid and so that
helped me they’re like you need to tell
your family this and your friends sounds
like no way you know you guys are
strangers who cares if I’d ever see you
again but I was like no way at this
point
are you already Lewis house are you
already school of grace a year in the
school of greatness so the school
grayness had some success but it book
hasn’t come out yet though that book
hadn’t come out yet no no this is pre
book so I had some a following and had
some other stuff I just sold a company
like but nothing really to this level
and they said you should tell your
family and I was like terrified I told
her therapist friend of mine I said hey
this is something that happened to me
because I thought like okay she would be
in confidence she can’t share this and
she was like you should really share
with your family and I was like I don’t
know how how do you start that
conversation how do you tell your mom
who found the babysitter and there was
the babysitter’s son who did it how do
you tell your mom that story how do you
tell your older sister is your brother
like the people you idolized in your
your life and she said she gave me a
great question to ask them first
she said when you get on the phone and I
talked him in person asked him this
question is there anything that I could
ever say or do that would make you not
love me start with that I mean have a
normal conversation and say hey listen
there’s something I want to share with
you I don’t ask you first is there
anything I could ever say or do that
would make you not love me cuz I think
the fear was they weren’t going to
accept me mm-hmm and she said just see
what they respond with first if they
question it then maybe don’t tell him
right away or were like we’ll come back
another time you know but all of them
were like absolutely not I mean my
brother right away he was like
absolutely not like you know he went to
prison he was like you can do it
everyone it’s not gonna be as bad you
know I’m gonna still gonna love you and
so each one of them kind of gave
permission to open up as well by asked
that question and again it was just a
beautiful experience like I was worried
and scared but I learned things about
them that that I didn’t know about my
closest family members I they opened up
about stuff from their childhood you
know and it brought a connection that we
it was so much deeper than what we
already had and then I shared I started
sharing with my friends one by one and
this was terrifying for me as well it’s
like okay family has to love me now
friends have limitations my friends got
me you know who are my real friends here
one by one I started asking that are
talking to them and saying hey I have
something to share with you that I’m a
little embarrassed of and it scared of
your response are you open to to
listening and all of them were just so
receptive and open and you know and
again they started to share other things
about their life and then they said you
should do this publicly and I was like
no there’s no way I’m gonna like
friends and family is one thing but why
would I let the world know and it took
about six or seven months if people just
saying this is so powerful to hear this
from someone that looks like you like a
tall white male jock many guys like you
aren’t opening up about this and the
statistics are that one in six men have
been sexually abused and yet you don’t
really hear about people talking about
it specifically athletes or former pro
athletes or business leaders they’re not
like opening up about these things and
what I was realizing the more I was
doing it with one on one it was bringing
healing to myself and to the other
people and so enough people convinced me
to do an episode on my podcast and that
was terrified right I was terrified but
I had some a friend of mine interview me
and facilitate it this was four years
ago
you never being facilitated and I held
on to it for like three months I
couldn’t post it I was like still
terrified I was like I don’t want to rub
people the wrong way
I don’t want 1271 what if it hurts my
business I was just like yeah of course
I was just worried about it like every
like sensitive topic like I just
wasn’t sure so I asked
a female influencer in that space I was
like can you listen to this can you like
write the title for me can you make sure
I’m doing it the appropriate way to not
hurt people or found people or anything
and I publish it and I remember I was
just like one night I was like okay I’m
gonna publish this like it’s time it was
right over here I published it and I
went outside to my balcony and I
remember I just tweeted the link and
that’s all I did it was like 10 or 11
o’clock at night and I remember sitting
outside and looking up and he was like
the biggest moon I’d ever seen in my
life and that was the night of like this
super moon that was supposed to be like
the bait like once every 100 years this
thing I was like this is crazy right
there you go everything on Twitter is
like photos of this super moon and I
just tweeted this thing I was like this
is weird and then I go to bed and I wake
up the next day there’s hundreds of
emails from men emailing me saying thank
you so much for this episode and then
essays of them opening up for the first
time about what they’d been through
whether it be sexual abuse or
relationships or whatever and I was like
oh my it took me a couple weeks to just
recover from reading all the emails of
like the pain and suffering that so many
men were going through and I realized
this is the most impactful episode I’ll
ever do probably or this topic and I
that’s the moment I was like I need to
dive in deeper on this because this is
way more powerful than talking about
marketing and business which I was doing
but this is the stuff that will help
your business to a whole nother level
this was the stuff that will help your
relationship your health here you’ll
actually be able to enjoy life exactly
yeah yeah
and that’s what put me down that path of
like okay I want to research this more I
don’t know like what the the statistics
are the psychology behind this I just
know from my personal experience and
that it’s helping a lot of people and so
I said this is like what I get to do
next was a book on this I was in the
middle of writing this and talking about
the school greatness and then everyone
was like okay what’s next let’s do the
business book let’s do the marketing
thing let’s do
like that just doesn’t feel right this
feels right because so many men that I
grew up with never talked about these
things and I’ve been going on this book
tour and about 50 50 men and women are
showing up and I go okay raise your
hands ladies who are in the room if
every single week you get together with
your girlfriends and you talk about your
fears your insecurities your
relationship issues your body issues
yeah whatever
work issues raise your hands if at least
once a week you get together every hand
goes up and they’re like this is pretty
much everyday you know we’re on the
phone with each other we’re having lunch
and we’re talking about these things I
go OK for the guys in the room raise
your hand if once a month you have one
guy friend or a group of guys where you
get together and you talk about fears
insecurities challenges with your
relationships two or three hands out of
like a hundred and oh my I bet you guys
are in the church group yes SID because
companies are not gonna do it friends
are not gonna talk about this it’s just
not acceptable yeah so you open up and
express yourself as a man in our society
it’s the conditioning I don’t know if
you play sports growing up but for me it
was like here’s the thing I think anyone
can relate to this whether it be on the
playground or you know recess in a
classroom with other kids playing sports
and music whatever it is especially in
sports as a guy if you show weakness
they say man up don’t show pain yeah get
back up let’s go
you got a playwright and I think that is
that conditioning and training of the
mind of like okay I can’t show weakness
otherwise I’m not going to fit in I’m
not going to play they’re gonna keep on
me they’re gonna make me sound like I’m
weak all these things play into the rest
of our lives I think it’s hard to bring
a habit of conditioning for 10 20 30
years and so for me it was really like
let’s have these conversations first and
see if we can bring some peace to our
past
and not be reactive as men and all human
beings when something triggers us you
know when someone says something to me
here I feel attacked or fell beust not
too quickly just defend myself and be
this alpha male like I need to dominate
and be right and win over you but how
could I let it go how can I come from a
different place of love or different
neutral response so that I put my energy
towards my vision and my my own health
as opposed to my energy on someone who
just cut me off on the road because
that’s not going to serve humanity let
me ask you who were you in high school
so if I if I knew you in high school we
went to high school together who was
Lewis Howes in high school I was just I
was like the kid who was just trying to
fit in in the sports really you were
what you were good athlete no try to I
was a varsity athlete of freshman you
said something about I was always the
youngest athlete but I thought what you
said freshman I played varsity sport
varsity right basketball they actually
said freshman freshman so every was
older than the other everyone’s older so
I’m like just as good if not better than
the seniors but I was the rookie so they
would make fun of me yeah they pick on
me they make fun of me they whatever so
I was just trying to like hang out with
the upperclassmen at that time you know
on the boss rise after practice and so I
always had to prove myself
it was like I’d to prove myself on the
sports field and then I’d to prove
myself afterwards that I was mature
enough or I could get whatever and it
was funny when I was a senior it was
like all my friends were gone now and I
was the oldest was the first time I felt
like okay now I can kind of give back
and how do I want to treat the younger
classmen as opposed to pick me on them
how can I write like you’re a senior now
yeah and I started like thinking that
way and I remember my senior year I
tried everything
I joined tap dance class I did the
school musical I was in choir I was like
trying everything I did synchronized
swimming
you didn’t think an ice was like do you
have videos of you want to find it
because it was off gotta be out it was
awesome and I got to find it yeah I’m
gonna ask
and I remember I was just like I just
want to try it all I don’t want to be
like this jock anymore that just trying
to prove himself in sports I want to
connect with all all my classmates and
learn from the artists the singers so
you’ve been curious for a while this is
not a new thing like you you were always
fascinated by people my junior senior
year I really was like I want to
understand did everybody know who you
were in high school like were you
already the small school like retards
okay so I was yeah everyone knew I was
it was a tiny school I mean everyone who
everyone was sure yeah sure got it
interesting so you know I read this book
and obviously some of the stats that you
have in a mother while while we’re
talking about this book today what are
we dealing with we’re dealing with Matt
Lauer Charlie Rose Kevin Spacey Lewis
Lewis think yeah the comedian then you
have all these other CEOs of companies
it’s not gonna stop it’s gonna continue
PR amaz over in Harvey Weinstein yep yep
you’ve got domestic violence in the NFL
every year where some guy beats his wife
in an elevator or whatever every year
that happens you’ve got the the Vegas
shootings the racial marches in
Strongsville the shootings in a church
the bombings all around the world the
common denominator is men who are
leading the way for all these things
yeah and so and here you say the chances
of suicide and by the way I don’t I
don’t think enough people are talking
about suicide season one in what is it
6-1 7-6 right yeah and and versus women
you know the numbers men to women
suicide is one is sick which is
absolutely astronomical and you know
there’s more male criminals who are in
prison than female who are committing
crimes do you think a big part of it
because I noticed you talk visit because
there’s the outlet is it because it’s
being released versus being held inside
because women are willing to talk to
someone else I think for I mean from
just an uneducated point of view yes and
then also what psychologists are saying
is yes you know again manner
create more heart attacks they’re dying
younger than women it’s like why well
when you never express yourself in a
healthy form something’s gonna manifest
in your body or it’s going to rage and
come out somehow again it’s just to show
of hands that people out doing my boat
tours like men aren’t opening up about
these things right in general they’re
not talking about it and you can find a
therapist to open up to it doesn’t have
to be like a group of guys you can find
you your wife your your guy friend
whatever but I think when we don’t talk
in general as human beings
it doesn’t matter man woman or gender
nonconforming if we don’t express how
we’re feeling it’s gonna manifest in a
negative way I would say interesting
thing that happened to me so one time
I’m flying from a business trip back
it’s a six-hour flight so I’m gonna lay
out that time and I’m flying back
probably from a Florida trip and this
was a time when I’m building a business
at the beginning stages of it probably
o8 my wife and I I haven’t proposed yet
we haven’t you know gone to the point
where I got married June 26 proposed
March of 2009 so on this flight back I
have so much pressure on me right from
everybody and everybody’s looking at
Patrick you know he’s the decision-maker
he’s the leader so I grab a notepad on a
paper on a plane and I start writing and
the system was who have I hurt and who
has hurt me and how has that caused mean
is there a trend is there a trend with
the people is there a trend with who I
attract is there a trend all of this
stuff right yeah so Louis I’m going
through this and all of a sudden I start
crying like a little baby so I’m
covering my just sitting there writing
this and then I come home the reason why
I remember this because we moved to a
new office and I just found these notes
because I had a new safe and I have it
in my briefcase and I take it out of my
briefcase and I put it on the bookshelf
my wife sees it okay so she sees it and
she opens it up to see what it is
because she sees her name on it and she
sees all these other girls and she sees
all these up she starts going through it
and I’m like Oh Mike’s I come home that
night come on
and she looks at me she says baby I just
want to tell you I love you that’s great
baby I just want say I love you baby
you’re so amazing to me you’re so this
year so that I’m like god that’s cool I
said babe what’s prompting this you
can’t act in very funny and she starts
getting emotional you’re such an amazing
I said babe this is like you crossed the
line and she says I feel guilty I feel
bad but I’m so glad it happened I said
babe what happened she said I read these
notes he left it out hey babe did you
really read this yes why would you you
know and I was furious on why she read
this because I had hit it and when we
were moving it’s unlike you ran through
this just as I went through this so that
kind of opened up to conversation but
for mine wasn’t by choice mine was
accidental and I cannot tell you what it
did to our relationship okay on her and
I purely accidental and then after that
I as a person running a business a lot
of times everybody looks at you as you
you know you you’re a driver we got
5,000 insurance agents in 49 states so
you know what you’re doing you got all
these decisions the moment I had a crew
because I should be part of a group
called vistas you may have heard of
Vistage YPO these groups that CEOs get
together so I find this group these guys
are all running about relatively the
same business hundred million dollar
your business system is the same so we
went out and we started talking and one
person started talking about their
struggles then another guy open up then
another guy open up then another guy
Louis it became the most rewarding
experience for me at that time I can’t
even explain to you so again going back
to this when I read this I went through
it so you have all these different masks
right if I can say it and maybe we can
address it a little bit so you got the
stoic mask because every man must be in
Baltimore on top emotions are carefully
managed and suppressed so stoic could be
like you know Marcus Aurelius and some
other stuff that the what’s-his-name
Ryan holiday rides and some of it’s from
Robert Greene the Athleta dad Lee masks
the material masks the sexual mask which
was profound the aggressive mask
resonates the Joker
which was unbelievable when you talk
about Robin Williams and what he went
through with the world’s laughing yet
he’s not happy
crazy right invincible nest and
know-it-all mask in the Alpha mask so
out of these I have conflicting thoughts
when I’m reading this because there’s a
part of me that sits there and says the
following so let me tell you what I’m
struggling with I want to hear your
views because you’re the author so
you’ve no research and it’s obviously
you have some people with psychologists
doctors universities Oklahoma University
all the stuff that you’ve done your
proper research here’s my struggle with
it
so I read a book called a hypomanic edge
and first-rate madness they talk about
the the commonalities of craziness and
madness and massive success okay
Kennedy’s in it you know Clinton’s in it
Jobs is in it it’s just a list of people
that you and I know we admire we read
about and then I read the way of men
which I don’t know if you’ve read the
way of men phenomenal book it’s written
by a author you gotta have the author on
your show I think I think you and him
will hit it off because the things you
write about he talks about how men were
built to build a gang so we need to
build a gang and it’s formatted why we
have this need and why we’re being deep
you know we’re being pacified today
where men are being shown as being
weaker and you shouldn’t show strength
and every show is about making fun of
men because it’s more funny to make fun
of men today but we can’t with make it
fun a woman because it’s politically not
correct to do that and the media is not
gonna get you so it’s going to affect
your business then I read another book
called the what is it no more mr. nice
guys that there but no more mr. nice guy
and then there’s another one Samson
syndrome this is my challenge with this
I hear your story like yours parents got
a divorce my parents got a divorce you
know older brother all this stuff I was
a troubled kid
lived in Iran ten years we escaped Iran
six weeks after Khomeini dies I live at
a refugee camp two years just a terrible
situation parents get a divorce comes to
the states one point a GP I go to the
army the army was my vengeance and my
you know place to release and
under fers airborne Air Assault then I
see a trend and the trend I see is this
and this is my struggle with this ok on
the one hand I feel bad on one that I
sit and I say man what Kevin Spacey’s
father did to him
to his son I don’t even want to say it
because it’s absolutely outrageous would
happen that father needs to go to prison
for some like that to happen you hear
the stories with all of these guys with
Ray Lewis when you talk about it with
him and his father the whole thing about
what was it 20 140 160 181 oh my gosh
repeating the patterns yeah it’s
incredible when it’s that takes him to
this place and he says here’s a man
called you know some interesting father
yes so then but this is this is a trend
that I see I have so many people I know
that it grew up in normal kid normal
families mama dada merry church-going
easygoing parents honey I love you
you’re the best as soon as I wish I had
parents like this you know good brother
good mom you know Christina I’m talking
to about her family we moved a lot but
we don’t mind because our family we love
them so much my brother so we’re gonna
sound like dude so you see a trend about
absolute mess of a life that is almost a
resume to be able to do something great
right so you have this conflict and so
sometimes you know this struggle becomes
do I want to create such a perfectly
healthy environment for I got three kids
I got two boys on a daughter five for
once so you sit there as a parent and
you want them to do great things I tell
them buddy there’s four things we do as
a family we lead we respectfully improve
we love you got to love everybody
because everyone’s going through
something got to respect everybody
because you can learn something from
everyone
you got to improve because it’s the only
we can have peace and you’ve got a lead
in every situation even if it’s a tough
one we don’t get bullied we don’t bully
people every day I tell these kids this
right then they’re in school again to
fight somebody punches him in the face
last week what was it was it this week
or last week this week this week I get
an email on Monday
about my oldest five-year-old and I get
an email on Monday by my middle son
they both knocked out kids and punch
them in the face and they had a
wonderful weekend their grandpa was in
town so you read this and you say okay
all this stuff is great
but if I try to prevent a touch of
menace happening with them what are the
chances of these kids being able to
fully go out there and have a desire to
want to prove a point kind of like you
have a willingness to prove a point so I
think the biggest the answer I’m really
curious the balance I’ll give you my
eyes I want to hear it I wanna hear what
you think because I’ll let’s say there’s
a there’s a lot of great examples of
musicians who died like 27 right young
musicians who are like brilliant have
these massive careers have changed
culture and society advice by what they
said you got Robin Williams I don’t know
how old he was I’m assuming his late 50s
or early 60s maybe but died way too
young was you know and he made the world
laugh but he wasn’t able to find peace
within himself because there was some
darkness I can only imagine I remember
not meeting Robin Williams but I walked
next to him on a plane one time and I
just
he was already performing like he was
sitting next to someone like telling a
joke I just like kind of song for a
second walked by and he was like
performing and remember his greatest
movie for me was not you know the Latin
and mrs. Doubtfire was it was a Google
hunting I don’t remember that movie good
well hunting one of my favorite movies
scores I can imagine that is actually
who Robin Williams was more like
sensitive meant or emotional you’re
saying he was like that his real life I
bet he wanted to be more of that I bet
he was very philosophical that was so
natural let me tell you that was not
acting foot for that was him that would
say that’s how I felt I was like man
that was probably really him just got
the chills right there like just caring
deeply caring for people like wanted to
help people but you can imagine like if
anytime you would act sensitive and
loving and caring and compassionate and
thoughtful when people say tell us a
joke tell us a joke like make a slap
became his identity the world made that
it would fit in he probably had to
cuz they’re always like they weren’t
accepting him for who he was and he’s
like oh let me do it impression let me
do it joke let me do that let me tell
you a story about this and like he was
able to fit in again I don’t know
everything that went down but I can only
imagine that might have been the
pressure he was facing but he was
probably a lot more sensitive and open
here’s here’s what I thought because I
realized that there’s no way I would
have been able to achieve the levels
that I did athletically in a business
without all the darkness that I went
through I can say that for a fact but is
it worth it if I’m gonna suffer inside
every single day and if there’s never
anything that brings me inner peace and
fulfillment so what I realized is that
when I shift my vision instead to
improve people wrong and prove the
bullies wrong from my childhood prove
the kids wrong and took me last proved
the girlfriends that broke my heart
wrong about me and changing my vision to
lifting others up and impacting people
and inspiring them through my vision and
through my actions opposed to making
others wrong and meaning me to be right
I realized that my fuel my energy is
just as powerful and I I can sleep at
night I never was able to sleep at night
without like taking a couple hours from
me just laying there I was always
fidgeting really always really doing
whatever from as long ago yes five years
old for you every night I would just lay
there in bed like it didn’t matter how
much I worked out that day it was just
like I would always lay there your
thinking is with you no matter how tired
you want just thinking and analyzing and
when I hit thirty when I started to go
through this process it was like when I
can sleep you know I did everything like
black out shades I tried it all like the
perfect temperature nothing would help
me sleep meditation nothing and it
wasn’t until I started to process my
emotions and kind of heal from the past
or how just go to bed in like five ten
minutes like I ain’t gonna lay down and
go to bed my temples now bones like
maybe I’m thinking a little bit if I’m
stole my phone it’s gonna take a while
but if I’m like just go lay down and
relax I go to bed and I wake up rested
and I wake up at peace in my heart and
that gives me energy
throughout the day so I’m not always
trying to recover so I think coming from
that place of a purposeful vision as
opposed to proving people wrong and
needing to look good all the time allows
me to sleep better and just gives me
that fuel to be driven to make an impact
and that’s the difference for me yes so
so for me I I study people I’m
fascinated by people I am just so
fascinated by people I sit there now
just like when I’m reading this I’m
curious about you you are fat you’re a
fascinating human being right so I sit
there and I say how was his relationship
with his dad was he close with his dad
was it close with his mom was there a
bad breakup early and then there’s a
part of him when you sit down you look
at like Teddy Roosevelt story this guy
gets his first two wives died and his
first kid or second first two kids died
and then he becomes a president and so
again that’s the conflicting part about
what’s the statistics with presidents I
think it’s like 30 or 40 percent of the
presidents lost their dad or the honor
something high statistical area high
statistical I for me for instance
okay I run a Salesforce and I’ll tell
you no mistakes I made my first two
years here’s how I ran my first two
years you know what we’re gonna win I
have your back we’re gonna do this
together I believe in you you’re so
awesome
we’re so amazing above and all this
stuff I’m gonna protect my guys
so and then all of a sudden I said
instead of me saying that my approach
change and I said Luis what do you want
to do but you okay being this person in
your life right now if everything and
that you kept going like this we’re
gonna be at 50 you okay with that you
have a choice it’s a binary okay I’m not
okay kind of like when you say sex is
binary you know I’m not them so what do
you what do you think about that what
are your parents gonna why are you okay
with that are you happy what makes you
happy are you content are you happy so I
became more about pulling kind of like
maybe Chris lead it with that with you
rather than imposing a perfect life
because there was a time like for me at
mom I get into the financial industry
I’m working I’m Morgan Stanley Dean
Witter okay day before 9/11 I get
started then 9/11 happens the neck
stay Monday is 9/10 Tuesday’s 9/11 I’m
at Morgan Stanley headquarters in New
York I’m about to go there for training
probably the worst time to become an
advisor not a good time to get started
okay so then I start sizing myself up I
made a group I’m in an office where a
guy named Shaq graduated from UCLA the
other guys are USC kid Berkeley kid the
girl that was takin my position they
were hiring for one person she was a UC
Berkeley she had a 1560 SAT score in
1996 out of 1600 she did a four-year
degree in two and a half years while
running the night club in UC Berkeley
genius she right now is got a very you
know premier position at a large
corporation anyways so I’m sitting I’m
sizing myself up okay no no I went to
Glendale Community College now for w’s
the guys interviewed me they Kirby he
says so Patrick tell me about the
universe about the school you went to I
said I went to Valley Community College
I took a speech class I went to Glendale
Community College I got four WS I don’t
have a 4-year I don’t have a two-year he
says but I like your military and your
sense of humor let me hire that part so
it gives me that opportunity
but then this place and I hear all these
perfect stories my father was a broker
my father passed us down like dude you
know what I don’t relate I’m gonna go
back to bodybuilding so for me a part of
this and by the way I am Telling You I’m
pretty much your agent because I’m
telling you right now I everybody parent
needs to read this every man every woman
everybody needs to read this because I’m
sitting there and I’m reading okay so I
go to the chapter about humor okay
Patrick you like to make people like why
are you making people like was there an
escape what are you escaping for yeah
was escape you’re in war you’re getting
bombed on you gotta have some lightness
to it so so then but the other part to
me is what if that wouldn’t have
happened I wouldn’t have this humor to
be able to work with the people so there
is a part where I don’t know if it’s a
destiny thing I don’t know what it is is
it a part of the formula that’s been in
Lewes houses being built right now as a
guy who hears the greatness guy here’s a
lovable likeable guy he’s been
Ellen DeGeneres Show which is the
premiere show you want to be on bigger
fun he’s pretty much reached there but
what’s next for this guy
maybe there’s something being built for
this guy that he’s gonna meet a woman
you’re with somebody for three years I
think the number is three or four years
and it’s very interesting when you talk
about the book for this you were doing
the tour while you guys and then you
count back together and in the
relationship how difficult it is I have
to kind of figure out myself because
it’s yes she has her own fascinating
scene maybe something Biggers happen
would Lewis house that could happen 20
years from now that if this didn’t
happen this dude could be leading a
hundred million people I definitely
believe like everything is happening for
a reason because I’m finding a reason
out of it all and I just know that’s
having humor being driven to make money
being competitive are not bad things and
so for me it’s like yeah bring the humor
bring the joy make as much money as you
want but what’s underneath it
I love the despite if it’s 24/7 I have
to always make a joke of something why
not that it’s right or wrong
over company isn’t just effective for
your future is this like you said is
this what you want in 15 years it’s
gonna help you achieve the life you want
yeah and again all these things are not
bad I think but they become 24/7 masks
of hiding something of who you actually
are the things you’ve been through is
you’re afraid of people actually seeing
you then I think you’re robbing other
people of your gifts and who you are and
I think that’s a doing a disservice to
your life and to other people around you
hundred percent of a line with you on
that yeah 100 percent on the line with
you on that so check this out
so I go to the military I come out I
said I’m gonna be body builder I’m gonna
be the next Middle Eastern Arnold I’m
this I’m this I go into Hollywood I’m
gonna be this actor and I’m gonna marry
in Kennedy I’m gonna be this guy right
okay no dinner for you I married a HUD
man I went into insurance financial
services that’s the route I took and I’m
glad the way it worked out but body
building to me at that time I mean I had
posters in the army of Arnold and Chris
Cormier and Coleman and you know all
these guys in John Travolta
polyester and these news of hope things
ahead so I start this business and I
start building it and then all of a
sudden I grow and make money my dad’s
working at a 99-cent store and my dad
never told me he loves me okay so one
day I called him and I said this as a
dad their whole life my never he’s never
told me loves me now by the way he’s my
best friend the world okay so he’s never
told me loves me so I said hey Dad
I want some things to change in our
family he said what’s that I said I want
to tell you I love you dad
he says what do you mean I love you he
says okay why are you I know you don’t
need to tell me this sooner I want you
to tell me what is it I’m not telling
you you are becoming Americanized this
America is getting you I’m not gonna
tell you and you meet my dad is like the
most lovable guy in the world sir I’m
not gonna tell you get out of the house
so I leave because we’re living together
that that when I got at the military so
I leave the next day I’m at Bally’s and
there’s to be valleys back in the day
summit valleys gym and he calls he says
hey your dad’s on their line one it’s my
dad
so I pick up the Linus I hate that word
son he’s pissed
they said hey how you doing some dad I’m
good I’m I’m working okay everything
good yes everything good he says okay I
just wanted to call you what’s going on
there is everything okay no it’s
everything okay so what’s up he says
okay I love you bye good legs up so then
30 minutes later I get a call for my
sister and she’s like hey Dad I think
that’s not feeling good tell me alone so
dad told me he loves me and I said cuz
I’ve been talking to him about this so
this man turns into the most emotional
guy in my career I’ve spoken in front of
hundreds of thousands of people every
time I tell the story about my dad
when on stage all this other stuff I get
emotional I think it is so needed for us
to not mask ourselves so I think this
book again going back to it there’s a
part of me that thinks there are so many
things that people are struggling with
that needs to come out that you need to
face and it’s every one of these things
you sex was a big part when you talk
about Straus
the whole black book and being a game
and hooking up and all these threesomes
and all the things he it’s a book
everybody’s got to read but there’s a
flip side of it to me I think it’s you
know you know point for me to say I went
through this because I’m being prepared
for something I’ve no idea worse
absolutely but the other side is I
shouldn’t have to hold on to it at all
if that’s suffering for me was miserable
miserable and it happened accidentally a
couple times until you get to a point
where you’re like you know what I kind
of like my own company yeah you know and
you know when you can go watch a movie
at 10 o’clock in the morning with 80
year olds
at the theater Social Security tired
people and they just send there’s an
angel my own company’s energy dude you
got a big following like I said to
Christine when we came here to me you’re
genuine you’re sincere you’re very easy
to follow you’re very easy to cheer and
root on as somebody that you want to see
every time I see you win and there’s
like this dude needs to win because
there are certain people that make the
can you know the marketplace and inspire
others to want to pursue it you’re one
of those guys so for me everybody
watching this how about we do this Lewis
how about I buy ten of these from when
we get it sound sure and we put a
contest for some of these guys on how
they can get it we can do Instagram or
something
but stay tuned if you are not following
him and if you don’t know this man you
got to follow on Instagram Pitts Lewis
house you got to follow the stuff on
YouTube podcast as your main platform
that and you drive but more than
anything else brother thank you so much
for taking the time this is gonna bless thanks truly ablution thank you
and you recognize this man here you
would have him interview everybody but
today we’re gonna interview the man
Lewis house the author of a book that’s
completely blown me away I kind of have
to open up to you and tell you you know
how this whole thing happened with this
book so the first time I was reading an
article I think was an ink magazine
article that said here’s a five books
you need to read in twenty fourteen or
fifteen when this came out it was the
school of greatness and I read the book
and I said you know it’s it’s it’s a
modern version of a Laws of Success by
Napoleon Hill good book but I didn’t
recommend it to anybody I’m just telling
you I don’t recommend it to anybody sure
but I thought it was a good book this
book I read this book and I’m telling
you right now
every body in the world needs to read
this book and I’ll tell you story why
it’s called mask of masculinity so many
many years ago i as a a type personality
you know cocky competitive I’m gonna
take over the world I’m number on all
this other stuff that we have in our
minds years ago had a guy named Bob
Hastings who tells me I need to read a
book called Samson syndrome so I said it
aside I don’t need to read the book and
then he calls my wife and he says
Jennifer you need to read this because
your husband is gonna read this book so
then Jennifer reads the book Samson
syndrome she reads the book were in bed
and she says babe you got to read this
book Samson syndrome this is exactly a
book that I believe every woman needs to
read to understand men better so prior
to getting into it you know what made
you even want to write a book like
especially with all the stuff that’s
going on right now what did you want to
write a book like this because I
realized that I was living in a lot of
pain and suffering and I didn’t want to
feel trapped anymore emotionally I was
achieving so much in my outer world I
was very competitive I still am but I
was very competitive and everything was
a live or die situation on winning and
being right essentially
and I achieved a lot financially
sports-wise all those things but I felt
empty and unfulfilled still and I never
knew why I just thought this was the way
of life so I would always strive for
more and more and more and nothing would
fulfill that emptiness or that
loneliness and when I finally four years
ago started opening up about a lot of
things that I was afraid of people
knowing about me it gave me so much
freedom now people knew everything about
me and they still liked me they still
loved me they still accepted me they
almost loved me even more the stuff they
knew about me that I was afraid of I
said wow it’s a sense of freedom that I
never had in my life
the things I started opening up about
where I was raped by a man when I was
five and for 25 years I didn’t tell
anyone and it was just constantly in the
back of my head you know it’s kind of
like constantly ruling my life and
everything else that I was ashamed of
feeling like a an insecure stupid kid
who was in the special needs classes
being dyslexic being kind of picked on
just like all those other things I
didn’t want to talk about so I would
mask them by being a great athlete by
making money by showing off in other
ways to gain acceptance and to belong
into the world and I realized that was a
lot of it was a facade and I felt
resentful always of myself because other
people really didn’t know who I was and
I wasn’t allowing them to see me for who
I was and yet they were accepting me for
something I wasn’t were you acting did
you feel like you’re acting like you’re
being somebody or not or it was more
subtle it was like subconscious wasn’t
like I’m gonna do this to like fit in
Hofstra like was there posturing or not
really no I think it was just like I was
defensive and guarded and insecure I
wouldn’t let anybody in yeah one of the
people an interesting when I would let
him into a certain place if I come here
and then stay away you know it was like
come here close enough but they’re not
too close desire me but don’t get to
fully know me you know want me but you
can’t have me was this with everybody
including mom dad your brother your
family everyone
everybody won yeah and I wasn’t even
aware of it though god I think was just
like well this is the way life is I’m
not supposed to open up you’re not
supposed to express these things you’re
not supposed to talk about these
insecurities at least things that have
gone through because then you won’t fit
in then people won’t like you then
they’re gonna judge you so it’s just my
own like misconception of how to live a
meaningful life and I was like but
they’ll love me and they’ll accept me
and they’ll appreciate me if I can
provide for them if I achieve certain
results if I make money if I whatever
have the nice house the car whatever
then they’ll accept me and think I’m
cool I’ll fit in and I realized that
thirty when a lot of things in my life
were kind of crumbling down in my inner
world I went through kind of a bad
breakup with my girlfriend at the time I
had a bad breakup with my business
partner at the time and I was taking all
this anger and frustration out into the
world if someone looked at me the wrong
way it was like you want to fight me
type of mentality it was like if someone
cut me off in a car driving in LA would
you been here so it was like it was like
let me get up in front of you and show
you I’m number one like or let me even
one time I got out of my car I was one
of those guys who was like you’re gonna
do this to me like it was like an attack
on my life right so everything was fela
gonna attack I played basketball and I
got in a really bad fight with a guy who
I felt like it was attacking me it was
like I didn’t know how to express myself
in healthier ways than just being angry
and reacting what caused this though
what caused what what caused this uh
wanting to not open up with everybody
what caused this raid what causes fire I
think the fear of not being accepted and
not fitting in we all want to belong we
all want to feel loved and feel accepted
no one wants to be isolated for a long
time no one wants to feel like they
don’t belong to a community and I felt
very isolated my entire childhood so I
just didn’t want to feel alone anymore
alone in my family alone with my friends
school all these things so I said what
can I do to fit in better what can I do
to get acknowledged better
what can I do for people to love me for
something as opposed to make fun of me
for something mm-hmm I think a lot of
kids go through a phase of what getting
picked on bullied made fun of like it
happens to all of us it’s not like I had
a unique situation but there weren’t
really tools when you’re five of like oh
you just got raped by man here’s what to
do
there’s no hotline for when you get
sexually abused
dude you little bring that up to mom or
dad no one knew why would I tell my mom
or dad when the shame the guilt the
insecurity the I don’t even know what
really just happened yes the feeling of
like I know something’s not right but
I’m not doing how do I talk about this
so how did you start I mean so you say
25 years they just start with family
first and then the public lot I started
with it was actually a workshop that I
went to I so after all this kind of
stuff happened in my relationships
business intimate fighting on a
basketball court I was like okay
something’s not working like yes I’m
achieving things on the outside world
and people look say that I’m killing it
but why is my inner world suffering
constantly so I said okay it’s time
maybe it was 30 I hit 30 and I was like
all right I’m finally willing to like
look within maybe it was like the
perfect storm of these kind of like
arguments and breakups and fights I was
like all right something’s not working
let me look within and so I talked to
therapists friends I hired liked OSHA’s
I went to workshop so I was like let me
just try anything and even though I was
kind of like I already know this stuff
you know everything you’re telling me
because you’re doing teaching this I
know this stuff like what can you teach
it still had that egoic mentality of
like all right I guess this is the way I
am deal with it and I went to a workshop
that was about 50 people in it it was an
emotional intelligence workshop so that
the Chris Risley one yeah and it was
almost like you and even the first few
days I’m kind of like what I need to be
here this is stupid like I should be
teaching this workshop right I don’t
tell myself but they’re created a lot of
games and exercises where we talked
about like our past with our relations
with our parents it’s kind of like their
group therapy in a sense but similar
pain amongst the 50 people or yeah but
everyone had a different experience
everyone had like stuff with their
mother dead or breakup in the past or
the divorce or like some people had like
their kids who passed away and I’m like
dealing with different issues so this is
this is this is a lot of deep a lot of
deep issues yeah I mean there’s a local
here in the SoCal local here in LA but
people were coming from all over the
place and it got to a point where it’s a
third day of this five day experience
and the people are really opening up at
this time people are talking about their
biggest fears the challenges and so
people are being vulnerable I’m kind of
just still acting like I’m cool
but I addressed a lot of these things I
addressed stuff about my parents
with people who did these exercises and
games and group stuff and I address some
of these things and then there’s a point
where Kris said okay we have talked
about everything from your past that
hasn’t worked for you or that’s holding
you back or that you’re afraid of or
that you’re insecure about we’ve talked
about it all had you already opened up
by the way now he said he said this is
the turning point if you haven’t
addressed anything you need to talk
about still there’s anything that’s
holding her back does anything you’re
afraid to talk about if there’s anything
that like he just rambled off and I was
like he was like now is the time to
speak or forever hold your peace because
we’re moving towards the future now of
the life you want to create I was
thinking to myself I talked about my
brother being in prison and me having no
friends for four years because none of
the neighborhood parents would let their
kid and you were young or eight years
old yeah acres are one good and that was
like you know in a white you know
middle-class suburban neighborhood no
other white people were going to prison
that I knew in my little town it was
like a small town so I was like I was
the bad kid right he’s mixed he’s gonna
be next doing this yeah I talked about
that I talked about my parents being
divorced which pretty much everyone else
in the room talked about their parents
getting divorced I talked about being
the special needs classes like all these
things that was frustrated with I talked
about past relationship challenges you
know fears and I was like what about
that time when I was raped it’s just
kind of went through my mind I was like
why have I never told anyone this yet
it’s been on my mind every single day
for 25 years every single day every
single day like I would have an image or
just like a quick thing and I just like
pass
the side like it wasn’t like I thought
about a constant leap inside or a song a
movie you want to bring it up you know
and never like okay well it just
happened whatever and I was like huh why
have I never talked about this so in
that moment I was just like whether it
was everyone else was opening up and
like it was the context of this
experience and I just felt like I had to
do it now so I got up in front of the
room and told the whole story for the
first time in front of these 50 people
and I couldn’t look anyone in the eye so
I was just looking down at the floor cuz
I was so ashamed and guilty and insecure
about what they would think of me was
there anybody there that you knew or no
was it just yeah I mean I got to know
them family friends were not there here
so I was kind of like strangers
so you open up open up in tears you’re
looking down I don’t even show emotion
I’m like looking down the whole time and
I talk about it and then I tell the
whole story from the site to smell the
taste everything
sit down and it was like an eruption of
emotions I was just bawling for the next
few minutes I couldn’t control myself
just like finally I was allowing myself
to express the the pain that I was
feeling all her life and there was these
two women on either side of me just like
holding me and crying as well so it was
like a it was healing but I was also
like terrified of what these people were
to think of me so I run out of the hotel
conference room right where we’re doing
the workshop I run out of the hotel
outside there’s like a back alley with a
wall and I just like go up against the
wall put my head in my hand and I’m just
like crying I’m like I don’t want anyone
to see me on the barest and it was
probably one of the most beautiful
experiences I had what happened next
one by one the men who were in that room
came up to me and looked me in the eyes
and they were like you’re my hero
they just all came up to me they’re like
you’re so courageous like this is so
brave of you you’re my hero
and then something interesting they
started opening up about their
experiences that they were unwilling to
talk about some of them faced sexual
abuse others it was other things they
hadn’t said yet that they were ashamed
of and they’d been holding on to and all
of them just started talking to me about
everything and they’re like I will
follow you anywhere if you have the
courage to talk about this like then I
trust you I’ll do whatever you tell me
to do were you expecting that react what
now at the opposite I was expecting like
them to push me away to make fun of me
whatever I was just afraid and so that
helped me they’re like you need to tell
your family this and your friends sounds
like no way you know you guys are
strangers who cares if I’d ever see you
again but I was like no way at this
point
are you already Lewis house are you
already school of grace a year in the
school of greatness so the school
grayness had some success but it book
hasn’t come out yet though that book
hadn’t come out yet no no this is pre
book so I had some a following and had
some other stuff I just sold a company
like but nothing really to this level
and they said you should tell your
family and I was like terrified I told
her therapist friend of mine I said hey
this is something that happened to me
because I thought like okay she would be
in confidence she can’t share this and
she was like you should really share
with your family and I was like I don’t
know how how do you start that
conversation how do you tell your mom
who found the babysitter and there was
the babysitter’s son who did it how do
you tell your mom that story how do you
tell your older sister is your brother
like the people you idolized in your
your life and she said she gave me a
great question to ask them first
she said when you get on the phone and I
talked him in person asked him this
question is there anything that I could
ever say or do that would make you not
love me start with that I mean have a
normal conversation and say hey listen
there’s something I want to share with
you I don’t ask you first is there
anything I could ever say or do that
would make you not love me cuz I think
the fear was they weren’t going to
accept me mm-hmm and she said just see
what they respond with first if they
question it then maybe don’t tell him
right away or were like we’ll come back
another time you know but all of them
were like absolutely not I mean my
brother right away he was like
absolutely not like you know he went to
prison he was like you can do it
everyone it’s not gonna be as bad you
know I’m gonna still gonna love you and
so each one of them kind of gave
permission to open up as well by asked
that question and again it was just a
beautiful experience like I was worried
and scared but I learned things about
them that that I didn’t know about my
closest family members I they opened up
about stuff from their childhood you
know and it brought a connection that we
it was so much deeper than what we
already had and then I shared I started
sharing with my friends one by one and
this was terrifying for me as well it’s
like okay family has to love me now
friends have limitations my friends got
me you know who are my real friends here
one by one I started asking that are
talking to them and saying hey I have
something to share with you that I’m a
little embarrassed of and it scared of
your response are you open to to
listening and all of them were just so
receptive and open and you know and
again they started to share other things
about their life and then they said you
should do this publicly and I was like
no there’s no way I’m gonna like
friends and family is one thing but why
would I let the world know and it took
about six or seven months if people just
saying this is so powerful to hear this
from someone that looks like you like a
tall white male jock many guys like you
aren’t opening up about this and the
statistics are that one in six men have
been sexually abused and yet you don’t
really hear about people talking about
it specifically athletes or former pro
athletes or business leaders they’re not
like opening up about these things and
what I was realizing the more I was
doing it with one on one it was bringing
healing to myself and to the other
people and so enough people convinced me
to do an episode on my podcast and that
was terrified right I was terrified but
I had some a friend of mine interview me
and facilitate it this was four years
ago
you never being facilitated and I held
on to it for like three months I
couldn’t post it I was like still
terrified I was like I don’t want to rub
people the wrong way
I don’t want 1271 what if it hurts my
business I was just like yeah of course
I was just worried about it like every
like sensitive topic like I just
wasn’t sure so I asked
a female influencer in that space I was
like can you listen to this can you like
write the title for me can you make sure
I’m doing it the appropriate way to not
hurt people or found people or anything
and I publish it and I remember I was
just like one night I was like okay I’m
gonna publish this like it’s time it was
right over here I published it and I
went outside to my balcony and I
remember I just tweeted the link and
that’s all I did it was like 10 or 11
o’clock at night and I remember sitting
outside and looking up and he was like
the biggest moon I’d ever seen in my
life and that was the night of like this
super moon that was supposed to be like
the bait like once every 100 years this
thing I was like this is crazy right
there you go everything on Twitter is
like photos of this super moon and I
just tweeted this thing I was like this
is weird and then I go to bed and I wake
up the next day there’s hundreds of
emails from men emailing me saying thank
you so much for this episode and then
essays of them opening up for the first
time about what they’d been through
whether it be sexual abuse or
relationships or whatever and I was like
oh my it took me a couple weeks to just
recover from reading all the emails of
like the pain and suffering that so many
men were going through and I realized
this is the most impactful episode I’ll
ever do probably or this topic and I
that’s the moment I was like I need to
dive in deeper on this because this is
way more powerful than talking about
marketing and business which I was doing
but this is the stuff that will help
your business to a whole nother level
this was the stuff that will help your
relationship your health here you’ll
actually be able to enjoy life exactly
yeah yeah
and that’s what put me down that path of
like okay I want to research this more I
don’t know like what the the statistics
are the psychology behind this I just
know from my personal experience and
that it’s helping a lot of people and so
I said this is like what I get to do
next was a book on this I was in the
middle of writing this and talking about
the school greatness and then everyone
was like okay what’s next let’s do the
business book let’s do the marketing
thing let’s do
like that just doesn’t feel right this
feels right because so many men that I
grew up with never talked about these
things and I’ve been going on this book
tour and about 50 50 men and women are
showing up and I go okay raise your
hands ladies who are in the room if
every single week you get together with
your girlfriends and you talk about your
fears your insecurities your
relationship issues your body issues
yeah whatever
work issues raise your hands if at least
once a week you get together every hand
goes up and they’re like this is pretty
much everyday you know we’re on the
phone with each other we’re having lunch
and we’re talking about these things I
go OK for the guys in the room raise
your hand if once a month you have one
guy friend or a group of guys where you
get together and you talk about fears
insecurities challenges with your
relationships two or three hands out of
like a hundred and oh my I bet you guys
are in the church group yes SID because
companies are not gonna do it friends
are not gonna talk about this it’s just
not acceptable yeah so you open up and
express yourself as a man in our society
it’s the conditioning I don’t know if
you play sports growing up but for me it
was like here’s the thing I think anyone
can relate to this whether it be on the
playground or you know recess in a
classroom with other kids playing sports
and music whatever it is especially in
sports as a guy if you show weakness
they say man up don’t show pain yeah get
back up let’s go
you got a playwright and I think that is
that conditioning and training of the
mind of like okay I can’t show weakness
otherwise I’m not going to fit in I’m
not going to play they’re gonna keep on
me they’re gonna make me sound like I’m
weak all these things play into the rest
of our lives I think it’s hard to bring
a habit of conditioning for 10 20 30
years and so for me it was really like
let’s have these conversations first and
see if we can bring some peace to our
past
and not be reactive as men and all human
beings when something triggers us you
know when someone says something to me
here I feel attacked or fell beust not
too quickly just defend myself and be
this alpha male like I need to dominate
and be right and win over you but how
could I let it go how can I come from a
different place of love or different
neutral response so that I put my energy
towards my vision and my my own health
as opposed to my energy on someone who
just cut me off on the road because
that’s not going to serve humanity let
me ask you who were you in high school
so if I if I knew you in high school we
went to high school together who was
Lewis Howes in high school I was just I
was like the kid who was just trying to
fit in in the sports really you were
what you were good athlete no try to I
was a varsity athlete of freshman you
said something about I was always the
youngest athlete but I thought what you
said freshman I played varsity sport
varsity right basketball they actually
said freshman freshman so every was
older than the other everyone’s older so
I’m like just as good if not better than
the seniors but I was the rookie so they
would make fun of me yeah they pick on
me they make fun of me they whatever so
I was just trying to like hang out with
the upperclassmen at that time you know
on the boss rise after practice and so I
always had to prove myself
it was like I’d to prove myself on the
sports field and then I’d to prove
myself afterwards that I was mature
enough or I could get whatever and it
was funny when I was a senior it was
like all my friends were gone now and I
was the oldest was the first time I felt
like okay now I can kind of give back
and how do I want to treat the younger
classmen as opposed to pick me on them
how can I write like you’re a senior now
yeah and I started like thinking that
way and I remember my senior year I
tried everything
I joined tap dance class I did the
school musical I was in choir I was like
trying everything I did synchronized
swimming
you didn’t think an ice was like do you
have videos of you want to find it
because it was off gotta be out it was
awesome and I got to find it yeah I’m
gonna ask
and I remember I was just like I just
want to try it all I don’t want to be
like this jock anymore that just trying
to prove himself in sports I want to
connect with all all my classmates and
learn from the artists the singers so
you’ve been curious for a while this is
not a new thing like you you were always
fascinated by people my junior senior
year I really was like I want to
understand did everybody know who you
were in high school like were you
already the small school like retards
okay so I was yeah everyone knew I was
it was a tiny school I mean everyone who
everyone was sure yeah sure got it
interesting so you know I read this book
and obviously some of the stats that you
have in a mother while while we’re
talking about this book today what are
we dealing with we’re dealing with Matt
Lauer Charlie Rose Kevin Spacey Lewis
Lewis think yeah the comedian then you
have all these other CEOs of companies
it’s not gonna stop it’s gonna continue
PR amaz over in Harvey Weinstein yep yep
you’ve got domestic violence in the NFL
every year where some guy beats his wife
in an elevator or whatever every year
that happens you’ve got the the Vegas
shootings the racial marches in
Strongsville the shootings in a church
the bombings all around the world the
common denominator is men who are
leading the way for all these things
yeah and so and here you say the chances
of suicide and by the way I don’t I
don’t think enough people are talking
about suicide season one in what is it
6-1 7-6 right yeah and and versus women
you know the numbers men to women
suicide is one is sick which is
absolutely astronomical and you know
there’s more male criminals who are in
prison than female who are committing
crimes do you think a big part of it
because I noticed you talk visit because
there’s the outlet is it because it’s
being released versus being held inside
because women are willing to talk to
someone else I think for I mean from
just an uneducated point of view yes and
then also what psychologists are saying
is yes you know again manner
create more heart attacks they’re dying
younger than women it’s like why well
when you never express yourself in a
healthy form something’s gonna manifest
in your body or it’s going to rage and
come out somehow again it’s just to show
of hands that people out doing my boat
tours like men aren’t opening up about
these things right in general they’re
not talking about it and you can find a
therapist to open up to it doesn’t have
to be like a group of guys you can find
you your wife your your guy friend
whatever but I think when we don’t talk
in general as human beings
it doesn’t matter man woman or gender
nonconforming if we don’t express how
we’re feeling it’s gonna manifest in a
negative way I would say interesting
thing that happened to me so one time
I’m flying from a business trip back
it’s a six-hour flight so I’m gonna lay
out that time and I’m flying back
probably from a Florida trip and this
was a time when I’m building a business
at the beginning stages of it probably
o8 my wife and I I haven’t proposed yet
we haven’t you know gone to the point
where I got married June 26 proposed
March of 2009 so on this flight back I
have so much pressure on me right from
everybody and everybody’s looking at
Patrick you know he’s the decision-maker
he’s the leader so I grab a notepad on a
paper on a plane and I start writing and
the system was who have I hurt and who
has hurt me and how has that caused mean
is there a trend is there a trend with
the people is there a trend with who I
attract is there a trend all of this
stuff right yeah so Louis I’m going
through this and all of a sudden I start
crying like a little baby so I’m
covering my just sitting there writing
this and then I come home the reason why
I remember this because we moved to a
new office and I just found these notes
because I had a new safe and I have it
in my briefcase and I take it out of my
briefcase and I put it on the bookshelf
my wife sees it okay so she sees it and
she opens it up to see what it is
because she sees her name on it and she
sees all these other girls and she sees
all these up she starts going through it
and I’m like Oh Mike’s I come home that
night come on
and she looks at me she says baby I just
want to tell you I love you that’s great
baby I just want say I love you baby
you’re so amazing to me you’re so this
year so that I’m like god that’s cool I
said babe what’s prompting this you
can’t act in very funny and she starts
getting emotional you’re such an amazing
I said babe this is like you crossed the
line and she says I feel guilty I feel
bad but I’m so glad it happened I said
babe what happened she said I read these
notes he left it out hey babe did you
really read this yes why would you you
know and I was furious on why she read
this because I had hit it and when we
were moving it’s unlike you ran through
this just as I went through this so that
kind of opened up to conversation but
for mine wasn’t by choice mine was
accidental and I cannot tell you what it
did to our relationship okay on her and
I purely accidental and then after that
I as a person running a business a lot
of times everybody looks at you as you
you know you you’re a driver we got
5,000 insurance agents in 49 states so
you know what you’re doing you got all
these decisions the moment I had a crew
because I should be part of a group
called vistas you may have heard of
Vistage YPO these groups that CEOs get
together so I find this group these guys
are all running about relatively the
same business hundred million dollar
your business system is the same so we
went out and we started talking and one
person started talking about their
struggles then another guy open up then
another guy open up then another guy
Louis it became the most rewarding
experience for me at that time I can’t
even explain to you so again going back
to this when I read this I went through
it so you have all these different masks
right if I can say it and maybe we can
address it a little bit so you got the
stoic mask because every man must be in
Baltimore on top emotions are carefully
managed and suppressed so stoic could be
like you know Marcus Aurelius and some
other stuff that the what’s-his-name
Ryan holiday rides and some of it’s from
Robert Greene the Athleta dad Lee masks
the material masks the sexual mask which
was profound the aggressive mask
resonates the Joker
which was unbelievable when you talk
about Robin Williams and what he went
through with the world’s laughing yet
he’s not happy
crazy right invincible nest and
know-it-all mask in the Alpha mask so
out of these I have conflicting thoughts
when I’m reading this because there’s a
part of me that sits there and says the
following so let me tell you what I’m
struggling with I want to hear your
views because you’re the author so
you’ve no research and it’s obviously
you have some people with psychologists
doctors universities Oklahoma University
all the stuff that you’ve done your
proper research here’s my struggle with
it
so I read a book called a hypomanic edge
and first-rate madness they talk about
the the commonalities of craziness and
madness and massive success okay
Kennedy’s in it you know Clinton’s in it
Jobs is in it it’s just a list of people
that you and I know we admire we read
about and then I read the way of men
which I don’t know if you’ve read the
way of men phenomenal book it’s written
by a author you gotta have the author on
your show I think I think you and him
will hit it off because the things you
write about he talks about how men were
built to build a gang so we need to
build a gang and it’s formatted why we
have this need and why we’re being deep
you know we’re being pacified today
where men are being shown as being
weaker and you shouldn’t show strength
and every show is about making fun of
men because it’s more funny to make fun
of men today but we can’t with make it
fun a woman because it’s politically not
correct to do that and the media is not
gonna get you so it’s going to affect
your business then I read another book
called the what is it no more mr. nice
guys that there but no more mr. nice guy
and then there’s another one Samson
syndrome this is my challenge with this
I hear your story like yours parents got
a divorce my parents got a divorce you
know older brother all this stuff I was
a troubled kid
lived in Iran ten years we escaped Iran
six weeks after Khomeini dies I live at
a refugee camp two years just a terrible
situation parents get a divorce comes to
the states one point a GP I go to the
army the army was my vengeance and my
you know place to release and
under fers airborne Air Assault then I
see a trend and the trend I see is this
and this is my struggle with this ok on
the one hand I feel bad on one that I
sit and I say man what Kevin Spacey’s
father did to him
to his son I don’t even want to say it
because it’s absolutely outrageous would
happen that father needs to go to prison
for some like that to happen you hear
the stories with all of these guys with
Ray Lewis when you talk about it with
him and his father the whole thing about
what was it 20 140 160 181 oh my gosh
repeating the patterns yeah it’s
incredible when it’s that takes him to
this place and he says here’s a man
called you know some interesting father
yes so then but this is this is a trend
that I see I have so many people I know
that it grew up in normal kid normal
families mama dada merry church-going
easygoing parents honey I love you
you’re the best as soon as I wish I had
parents like this you know good brother
good mom you know Christina I’m talking
to about her family we moved a lot but
we don’t mind because our family we love
them so much my brother so we’re gonna
sound like dude so you see a trend about
absolute mess of a life that is almost a
resume to be able to do something great
right so you have this conflict and so
sometimes you know this struggle becomes
do I want to create such a perfectly
healthy environment for I got three kids
I got two boys on a daughter five for
once so you sit there as a parent and
you want them to do great things I tell
them buddy there’s four things we do as
a family we lead we respectfully improve
we love you got to love everybody
because everyone’s going through
something got to respect everybody
because you can learn something from
everyone
you got to improve because it’s the only
we can have peace and you’ve got a lead
in every situation even if it’s a tough
one we don’t get bullied we don’t bully
people every day I tell these kids this
right then they’re in school again to
fight somebody punches him in the face
last week what was it was it this week
or last week this week this week I get
an email on Monday
about my oldest five-year-old and I get
an email on Monday by my middle son
they both knocked out kids and punch
them in the face and they had a
wonderful weekend their grandpa was in
town so you read this and you say okay
all this stuff is great
but if I try to prevent a touch of
menace happening with them what are the
chances of these kids being able to
fully go out there and have a desire to
want to prove a point kind of like you
have a willingness to prove a point so I
think the biggest the answer I’m really
curious the balance I’ll give you my
eyes I want to hear it I wanna hear what
you think because I’ll let’s say there’s
a there’s a lot of great examples of
musicians who died like 27 right young
musicians who are like brilliant have
these massive careers have changed
culture and society advice by what they
said you got Robin Williams I don’t know
how old he was I’m assuming his late 50s
or early 60s maybe but died way too
young was you know and he made the world
laugh but he wasn’t able to find peace
within himself because there was some
darkness I can only imagine I remember
not meeting Robin Williams but I walked
next to him on a plane one time and I
just
he was already performing like he was
sitting next to someone like telling a
joke I just like kind of song for a
second walked by and he was like
performing and remember his greatest
movie for me was not you know the Latin
and mrs. Doubtfire was it was a Google
hunting I don’t remember that movie good
well hunting one of my favorite movies
scores I can imagine that is actually
who Robin Williams was more like
sensitive meant or emotional you’re
saying he was like that his real life I
bet he wanted to be more of that I bet
he was very philosophical that was so
natural let me tell you that was not
acting foot for that was him that would
say that’s how I felt I was like man
that was probably really him just got
the chills right there like just caring
deeply caring for people like wanted to
help people but you can imagine like if
anytime you would act sensitive and
loving and caring and compassionate and
thoughtful when people say tell us a
joke tell us a joke like make a slap
became his identity the world made that
it would fit in he probably had to
cuz they’re always like they weren’t
accepting him for who he was and he’s
like oh let me do it impression let me
do it joke let me do that let me tell
you a story about this and like he was
able to fit in again I don’t know
everything that went down but I can only
imagine that might have been the
pressure he was facing but he was
probably a lot more sensitive and open
here’s here’s what I thought because I
realized that there’s no way I would
have been able to achieve the levels
that I did athletically in a business
without all the darkness that I went
through I can say that for a fact but is
it worth it if I’m gonna suffer inside
every single day and if there’s never
anything that brings me inner peace and
fulfillment so what I realized is that
when I shift my vision instead to
improve people wrong and prove the
bullies wrong from my childhood prove
the kids wrong and took me last proved
the girlfriends that broke my heart
wrong about me and changing my vision to
lifting others up and impacting people
and inspiring them through my vision and
through my actions opposed to making
others wrong and meaning me to be right
I realized that my fuel my energy is
just as powerful and I I can sleep at
night I never was able to sleep at night
without like taking a couple hours from
me just laying there I was always
fidgeting really always really doing
whatever from as long ago yes five years
old for you every night I would just lay
there in bed like it didn’t matter how
much I worked out that day it was just
like I would always lay there your
thinking is with you no matter how tired
you want just thinking and analyzing and
when I hit thirty when I started to go
through this process it was like when I
can sleep you know I did everything like
black out shades I tried it all like the
perfect temperature nothing would help
me sleep meditation nothing and it
wasn’t until I started to process my
emotions and kind of heal from the past
or how just go to bed in like five ten
minutes like I ain’t gonna lay down and
go to bed my temples now bones like
maybe I’m thinking a little bit if I’m
stole my phone it’s gonna take a while
but if I’m like just go lay down and
relax I go to bed and I wake up rested
and I wake up at peace in my heart and
that gives me energy
throughout the day so I’m not always
trying to recover so I think coming from
that place of a purposeful vision as
opposed to proving people wrong and
needing to look good all the time allows
me to sleep better and just gives me
that fuel to be driven to make an impact
and that’s the difference for me yes so
so for me I I study people I’m
fascinated by people I am just so
fascinated by people I sit there now
just like when I’m reading this I’m
curious about you you are fat you’re a
fascinating human being right so I sit
there and I say how was his relationship
with his dad was he close with his dad
was it close with his mom was there a
bad breakup early and then there’s a
part of him when you sit down you look
at like Teddy Roosevelt story this guy
gets his first two wives died and his
first kid or second first two kids died
and then he becomes a president and so
again that’s the conflicting part about
what’s the statistics with presidents I
think it’s like 30 or 40 percent of the
presidents lost their dad or the honor
something high statistical area high
statistical I for me for instance
okay I run a Salesforce and I’ll tell
you no mistakes I made my first two
years here’s how I ran my first two
years you know what we’re gonna win I
have your back we’re gonna do this
together I believe in you you’re so
awesome
we’re so amazing above and all this
stuff I’m gonna protect my guys
so and then all of a sudden I said
instead of me saying that my approach
change and I said Luis what do you want
to do but you okay being this person in
your life right now if everything and
that you kept going like this we’re
gonna be at 50 you okay with that you
have a choice it’s a binary okay I’m not
okay kind of like when you say sex is
binary you know I’m not them so what do
you what do you think about that what
are your parents gonna why are you okay
with that are you happy what makes you
happy are you content are you happy so I
became more about pulling kind of like
maybe Chris lead it with that with you
rather than imposing a perfect life
because there was a time like for me at
mom I get into the financial industry
I’m working I’m Morgan Stanley Dean
Witter okay day before 9/11 I get
started then 9/11 happens the neck
stay Monday is 9/10 Tuesday’s 9/11 I’m
at Morgan Stanley headquarters in New
York I’m about to go there for training
probably the worst time to become an
advisor not a good time to get started
okay so then I start sizing myself up I
made a group I’m in an office where a
guy named Shaq graduated from UCLA the
other guys are USC kid Berkeley kid the
girl that was takin my position they
were hiring for one person she was a UC
Berkeley she had a 1560 SAT score in
1996 out of 1600 she did a four-year
degree in two and a half years while
running the night club in UC Berkeley
genius she right now is got a very you
know premier position at a large
corporation anyways so I’m sitting I’m
sizing myself up okay no no I went to
Glendale Community College now for w’s
the guys interviewed me they Kirby he
says so Patrick tell me about the
universe about the school you went to I
said I went to Valley Community College
I took a speech class I went to Glendale
Community College I got four WS I don’t
have a 4-year I don’t have a two-year he
says but I like your military and your
sense of humor let me hire that part so
it gives me that opportunity
but then this place and I hear all these
perfect stories my father was a broker
my father passed us down like dude you
know what I don’t relate I’m gonna go
back to bodybuilding so for me a part of
this and by the way I am Telling You I’m
pretty much your agent because I’m
telling you right now I everybody parent
needs to read this every man every woman
everybody needs to read this because I’m
sitting there and I’m reading okay so I
go to the chapter about humor okay
Patrick you like to make people like why
are you making people like was there an
escape what are you escaping for yeah
was escape you’re in war you’re getting
bombed on you gotta have some lightness
to it so so then but the other part to
me is what if that wouldn’t have
happened I wouldn’t have this humor to
be able to work with the people so there
is a part where I don’t know if it’s a
destiny thing I don’t know what it is is
it a part of the formula that’s been in
Lewes houses being built right now as a
guy who hears the greatness guy here’s a
lovable likeable guy he’s been
Ellen DeGeneres Show which is the
premiere show you want to be on bigger
fun he’s pretty much reached there but
what’s next for this guy
maybe there’s something being built for
this guy that he’s gonna meet a woman
you’re with somebody for three years I
think the number is three or four years
and it’s very interesting when you talk
about the book for this you were doing
the tour while you guys and then you
count back together and in the
relationship how difficult it is I have
to kind of figure out myself because
it’s yes she has her own fascinating
scene maybe something Biggers happen
would Lewis house that could happen 20
years from now that if this didn’t
happen this dude could be leading a
hundred million people I definitely
believe like everything is happening for
a reason because I’m finding a reason
out of it all and I just know that’s
having humor being driven to make money
being competitive are not bad things and
so for me it’s like yeah bring the humor
bring the joy make as much money as you
want but what’s underneath it
I love the despite if it’s 24/7 I have
to always make a joke of something why
not that it’s right or wrong
over company isn’t just effective for
your future is this like you said is
this what you want in 15 years it’s
gonna help you achieve the life you want
yeah and again all these things are not
bad I think but they become 24/7 masks
of hiding something of who you actually
are the things you’ve been through is
you’re afraid of people actually seeing
you then I think you’re robbing other
people of your gifts and who you are and
I think that’s a doing a disservice to
your life and to other people around you
hundred percent of a line with you on
that yeah 100 percent on the line with
you on that so check this out
so I go to the military I come out I
said I’m gonna be body builder I’m gonna
be the next Middle Eastern Arnold I’m
this I’m this I go into Hollywood I’m
gonna be this actor and I’m gonna marry
in Kennedy I’m gonna be this guy right
okay no dinner for you I married a HUD
man I went into insurance financial
services that’s the route I took and I’m
glad the way it worked out but body
building to me at that time I mean I had
posters in the army of Arnold and Chris
Cormier and Coleman and you know all
these guys in John Travolta
polyester and these news of hope things
ahead so I start this business and I
start building it and then all of a
sudden I grow and make money my dad’s
working at a 99-cent store and my dad
never told me he loves me okay so one
day I called him and I said this as a
dad their whole life my never he’s never
told me loves me now by the way he’s my
best friend the world okay so he’s never
told me loves me so I said hey Dad
I want some things to change in our
family he said what’s that I said I want
to tell you I love you dad
he says what do you mean I love you he
says okay why are you I know you don’t
need to tell me this sooner I want you
to tell me what is it I’m not telling
you you are becoming Americanized this
America is getting you I’m not gonna
tell you and you meet my dad is like the
most lovable guy in the world sir I’m
not gonna tell you get out of the house
so I leave because we’re living together
that that when I got at the military so
I leave the next day I’m at Bally’s and
there’s to be valleys back in the day
summit valleys gym and he calls he says
hey your dad’s on their line one it’s my
dad
so I pick up the Linus I hate that word
son he’s pissed
they said hey how you doing some dad I’m
good I’m I’m working okay everything
good yes everything good he says okay I
just wanted to call you what’s going on
there is everything okay no it’s
everything okay so what’s up he says
okay I love you bye good legs up so then
30 minutes later I get a call for my
sister and she’s like hey Dad I think
that’s not feeling good tell me alone so
dad told me he loves me and I said cuz
I’ve been talking to him about this so
this man turns into the most emotional
guy in my career I’ve spoken in front of
hundreds of thousands of people every
time I tell the story about my dad
when on stage all this other stuff I get
emotional I think it is so needed for us
to not mask ourselves so I think this
book again going back to it there’s a
part of me that thinks there are so many
things that people are struggling with
that needs to come out that you need to
face and it’s every one of these things
you sex was a big part when you talk
about Straus
the whole black book and being a game
and hooking up and all these threesomes
and all the things he it’s a book
everybody’s got to read but there’s a
flip side of it to me I think it’s you
know you know point for me to say I went
through this because I’m being prepared
for something I’ve no idea worse
absolutely but the other side is I
shouldn’t have to hold on to it at all
if that’s suffering for me was miserable
miserable and it happened accidentally a
couple times until you get to a point
where you’re like you know what I kind
of like my own company yeah you know and
you know when you can go watch a movie
at 10 o’clock in the morning with 80
year olds
at the theater Social Security tired
people and they just send there’s an
angel my own company’s energy dude you
got a big following like I said to
Christine when we came here to me you’re
genuine you’re sincere you’re very easy
to follow you’re very easy to cheer and
root on as somebody that you want to see
every time I see you win and there’s
like this dude needs to win because
there are certain people that make the
can you know the marketplace and inspire
others to want to pursue it you’re one
of those guys so for me everybody
watching this how about we do this Lewis
how about I buy ten of these from when
we get it sound sure and we put a
contest for some of these guys on how
they can get it we can do Instagram or
something
but stay tuned if you are not following
him and if you don’t know this man you
got to follow on Instagram Pitts Lewis
house you got to follow the stuff on
YouTube podcast as your main platform
that and you drive but more than
anything else brother thank you so much
for taking the time this is gonna bless thanks truly ablution thank you
Please follow and like us: