so one thing every one of us is gonna
deal with in life is going to be
conflicts there’s nothing we can do
about it marital conflicts business
conflicts relationship with France
church sports we’re gonna have conflict
but what separates the great ones versus
the average and ordinary is how we deal
with conflicts I used to be terrible and
dealing with conflicts until I studied
this topic to find out if there’s a
formula on how it works so the lowest
level of conflict dealing with conflict
there’s five level the lowest level is
we tend to be stubborn about whatever
belief system we have so for instance
you ever you ever had a debate with
somebody or you ever had a conversation
with somebody about something and they
were just purely stubborn which means
they’re assertive they believed in their
position because they’re stubborn but
not willing to cooperate lowest level of
dealing with conflict is to be stubborn
second level is to accommodate what does
it mean to accommodate you ever met
people that are about pleasing everybody
– right there are people pleasers
everybody as long as everybody’s happy
that’s all that matters right the
challenge with that is the issue with
conformity is everyone’s happy except
one person and that’s you third level of
dealing would conflict is folks who
avoid it ever met somebody that avoids
problems they just don’t even deal with
any problems they don’t want to deal
with conflicts they avoid everybody
right and so eventually what happens is
five years ten years later there’s
problems conflicts with so many people
that they’ve been avoided and all of a
sudden everything comes at you at the
same time fourth level is the one that
we’ve been told is the best thing to do
which is to compromise now let me
explain to compromise I want you to
think about a husband and wife or whilst
in the desert okay they get to a road
which right in front of them is a cliff
if they go straight they’re gonna fall
down if they go left husband says we got
to go left wife says we got to go right
well but they’ve been told they should
compromise so if left is what husband
wants right is what wife wants but they
disagree but they said we should do what
we’ve been told what to do which is what
let’s compromise let’s keep going
straight if they go straight what’s
gonna happen they’re gonna fall off a
cliff so
or – maybe something we’ve been told
what to do but there is a level above
conflict that the great ones figure out
and that is to collaborate collaborate
doesn’t necessarily mean have the best
that you have the best that it’s about
taking yours and taking mine and putting
it together and have from there dealing
a conflict together that deals into
something even bigger
the great ones learn how to collaborate
and my challenge to you is this we take
an inventory of yourself how do you deal
with conflict are you stubborn you
accommodate you avoid you compromise or
you collaborate find out whatever
position you are and find a way to
increase yourself to the next level
eventually you learn how to collaborate
when it comes out to dinner with conflicts my message of the week
deal with in life is going to be
conflicts there’s nothing we can do
about it marital conflicts business
conflicts relationship with France
church sports we’re gonna have conflict
but what separates the great ones versus
the average and ordinary is how we deal
with conflicts I used to be terrible and
dealing with conflicts until I studied
this topic to find out if there’s a
formula on how it works so the lowest
level of conflict dealing with conflict
there’s five level the lowest level is
we tend to be stubborn about whatever
belief system we have so for instance
you ever you ever had a debate with
somebody or you ever had a conversation
with somebody about something and they
were just purely stubborn which means
they’re assertive they believed in their
position because they’re stubborn but
not willing to cooperate lowest level of
dealing with conflict is to be stubborn
second level is to accommodate what does
it mean to accommodate you ever met
people that are about pleasing everybody
– right there are people pleasers
everybody as long as everybody’s happy
that’s all that matters right the
challenge with that is the issue with
conformity is everyone’s happy except
one person and that’s you third level of
dealing would conflict is folks who
avoid it ever met somebody that avoids
problems they just don’t even deal with
any problems they don’t want to deal
with conflicts they avoid everybody
right and so eventually what happens is
five years ten years later there’s
problems conflicts with so many people
that they’ve been avoided and all of a
sudden everything comes at you at the
same time fourth level is the one that
we’ve been told is the best thing to do
which is to compromise now let me
explain to compromise I want you to
think about a husband and wife or whilst
in the desert okay they get to a road
which right in front of them is a cliff
if they go straight they’re gonna fall
down if they go left husband says we got
to go left wife says we got to go right
well but they’ve been told they should
compromise so if left is what husband
wants right is what wife wants but they
disagree but they said we should do what
we’ve been told what to do which is what
let’s compromise let’s keep going
straight if they go straight what’s
gonna happen they’re gonna fall off a
cliff so
or – maybe something we’ve been told
what to do but there is a level above
conflict that the great ones figure out
and that is to collaborate collaborate
doesn’t necessarily mean have the best
that you have the best that it’s about
taking yours and taking mine and putting
it together and have from there dealing
a conflict together that deals into
something even bigger
the great ones learn how to collaborate
and my challenge to you is this we take
an inventory of yourself how do you deal
with conflict are you stubborn you
accommodate you avoid you compromise or
you collaborate find out whatever
position you are and find a way to
increase yourself to the next level
eventually you learn how to collaborate
when it comes out to dinner with conflicts my message of the week
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