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When losing all dreams, the mind is flexible in creating new ones | Laura Darlington | TEDxFryslân


[Applause]

good morning everybody

now I am going to take you on an

advanced research this morning and

search for acceptance a search for inner

peace a search for strength and a search

for a hope now that wrote we have to go

on will be a rocky road we have to enter

the dark caves confront danger but let’s

just go on the journey now journey of a

thousand miles begins with a single step

for me that journey really lies in

refining my identity or it’s actually

it’s better to say to find a new version

of my own true identity to tell you the

truth I wanted to go on this journey for

a very long time today sitting here in

front of you it feels like I’m finally

taking that first most difficult step so

thank you for being here and thank you

for helping me taking that first

difficult step to speak with the words

of Joseph Campbell the k if you fear to

enter holds the treasure you seek Joseph

Campbell studied fairy tales and

modalities from all over the world and

he discovered a pattern a pattern that

he called the hero’s journey a hero l

Aaron Dorothy Harry Potter is called to

adventure and eventually returns a new

reborn now but before we can find the

treasure before we have found the keys

to

open the door to that treasure we need

to slay some dragons inside of us and I

believe that after that the treasure

will then be able to find for every

human being

consists of the feelings of happiness

gratitude and love for oneself in

Patrick Solomon’s film finding Joe the

hero’s journey is shown to be relevant

Joseph Campbell’s ideas are shown to be

relevant for me and also for you we all

can be an Aladdin or Harry Potter

because we must get rid of the life with

plans in order to have that life waiting

for us and this is why Joseph Campbell’s

ideas will be a recurrent theme in this

talk but before elaborating on my

personal hero’s journey

let me first introduce myself I was born

in 1977 in Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia but

I grew up in the Netherlands being half

that half Malaysian the city of

Groningen is my hometown I I spent all

my education there and my career and I

always loved to travel during my high

school and also during university

education I spent an exchange here in

the US and afterwards also during

University education went on to an

internship in Jakarta Indonesia and this

is why I always pictured myself working

abroad or working in the international

environment ago I have reached I now

work after having jumped from job to job

with with a lot of joy at the secretary

of economics and business university of

groningen as a communications officer in

2009 seven years ago my life

tremendously due to the diagnosis

multiple sclerosis this diagnosis

knocked me off my feet in every possible

way I tried to keep going on like

nothing happens but I exhausted myself

by doing so and still today I keep

exhausting myself but not wanting to

accept over the years I tried to take

many practical steps I go to yoga

meditation class three times a week I

try to eat healthy see many friends be

optimistic but have I ever tried to go

and that other journey the long journey

of acceptance that journey inside no I

haven’t because I have always feared it

I buried my head in the sand like an

ostrich for a very long time the first

couple of years after MS entered my life

I was still able to work full time while

symptoms grew worse and now I made some

changes and work part-time also the

first couple of years I I was still able

to run but I remember the day very

clearly that my running buddy and friend

had to drag me home not even halfway

down the route we normally ran because

my legs simply refused going out to

parties going to festivals shopping

downtown I kept doing this the way I

used to do without taking any

precautions like an ostrich today I sit

in front of you with a walking stick not

able to walk more than 200 meters pains

going through my spinal cord

continuously a fear for losing my

balance very weak muscles I actually I

feel like having to do a rope dance I

feel like this every day a rope dance

because I’m so unsteady

so afraid for losing two for losing my

balance physically but also mentally I

so yes seven years ago crisis entered my

life but from today on I will try and

face that crisis like Chinese do now did

you know that the Chinese word for

crisis consists of two characters the

first meaning danger the second meaning

opportunity now the opportunity for me

lies in that hero’s journey and but

before continuing on that hero’s journey

let me first take you back to 2009 and

tell you a bit more about that danger

and how it started so these seven years

ago it was a beautiful day that

particularly day in June when everything

changed my husband had just asked me to

marry him earlier that year and I

couldn’t be happier I left our house

dancing and hopping the street on my way

to the grocery store just around the

corner everything was fine very good

just a few blocks down the road I

suddenly sank to my right leg and I

could hardly balance myself again and I

kept dragging that right leg behind me

further on my way to the grocery store

this is how it all began we have to go

to the hospital they need to take an MRI

scan few days later we have to go back

for the results they tell us it’s

serious they tell they tell us there’s

no doubt the diagnosis multiple

sclerosis I cannot think to I cannot

listen to any other words the doctor

says I fall and fall and keep falling

and I just don’t hear anything

anymore but then I pull myself together

and I say to myself let’s continue the

looking back at this period in my life I

cannot think of anything more

contradictory then that is if big dark

sorry

so yes M s now please allow me to

multiple sclerosis is a chronic disease

of the central nervous system the

multiple sclerosis it literally means

many scars the scars form because the

body’s own immune system attacks and

destroys million and million is the

protective coating covering the nerve

fibers and the loss of myelin causes an

interruption in the ability of the nerve

to conduct electrical impulses to and

from the brain so this this is often

compared to power outage in an

electrical wire it causes a lot of

certain symptoms like extreme fatigue

loss of mobility loss of strength weak

limbs pains in the spinal cord

unsteadiness a lot of symptoms the

movements are very much interrupted or

you can disappear completely there are

many forms or more forms these are the

three main forms of multiple sclerosis

my form at the moment the secondary

progressive MS I started off with

relapsing remitting ms and it has

transformed into secondary progressive

which means symptoms growers gradually

in the net

learns the chance if somebody gets MS is

one out of a thousand people we are in

this theater with around 500 people so

and there might be somebody else with MS

here

but statistically in a theater has a

person with FMS so let me be that has a

person of course that’s not possible but

this is where I wanna draw a line this

is me having MS this is me full of

opportunities but of course all of me

has MS and all of me has opportunities

but this is how it feels there’s a war

going on inside of me there’s big danger

there are also opportunities there’s a

crisis the war doesn’t seem to end and

to go back to that film of patrick

patrick solomon’s film finding the oh

that film i talked about in the

beginning slaying the dragon really

means to come to terms with your inner

self my goal is to become whole again to

end that war to reunite these two parts

of me now i already talked a lot about

this danger let me now talk more about

the opportunity where the heroes the

hero’s journey continues the hero’s

journey starts off with the call to

adventure like mine started off with a

call from ted thank you and then joseph

campbell’s studies into the mentalities

it appears that heroes often refuse to

go on a journey refuse to call like i

did for seven years out of fear and

denial fear is my dragon but what is it

i am so afraid of it is that loss of

mobility that loss that complete loss of

roll over my body and also over my mind

it’s very frightening feeling so

vulnerable both physically and mentally

having to say goodbye to my old life and

it’s it’s very frightening how bad the

disabilities will become how fast will

it go what will happen yeah I’m very

frightened and to tell you the truth

it’s it’s frightening as hell and can be

very overwhelming but luckily as CEO

Steve Campbell says opportunities to

find deeper powers within ourselves come

when life seems most challenging the

challenge is to find that new person see

this is me fearful having a drop down in

social relations embarrassed hating

myself hating a mess for not dealing

properly with it this is what I want to

be fearless eager to learn opening up

eager to make new contacts maintaining

old contacts contacts love life love

myself how am I going to find that

person well there are opportunities for

me the first one it’s travelling because

I really believe that by traveling to

foreign countries I can open up feel

powerful

make new contacts and explore explore

the world of course and also of course

if I continue traveling I better get rid

of those envies jealousies unforgiveness

selfishness and fierce

well actually last summer I already

started traveling again me and my

husband went on an adventurous road trip

to California we first visited some good

friends in Pasadena California

and we continued road tripping and it

was fun and yes it was with the wheels

here so what I’ll keep on traveling

second opportunity following the

overcoming multiple sclerosis program

developed by Professor the Australian

professor George yelenic now Georgie le

Mac developed this program based on a

comprehensive research and it has shown

to improve the life of in the quality of

life of many people living with MS this

program of coming multiple sclerosis

promotes a diet and lifestyle management

change and I want to pick it up again

and be disciplined and be patient I

actually I flew to Australia to join a

retreat about this and it was so

inspiring and I regained hope and

confidence for the future the program is

it is based comes down to three pillars

meditation exercise and healthy diet on

a daily basis I urge everybody who knows

somebody with MS or with MS to go on to

this website and or to recharge the next

book because there’s really a chance to

overcome so yes there’s traveling

there’s a recovery program there are

opportunities but most importantly

sharing my story I definitely believe

that with sharing my story I made a big

step towards acceptance from this dead

answered that call to adventure I will

face my fears as I have done today now

everybody is the hero

of his or her own life we are all born

heroes so what I want to say to you is

answer that call to adventure go into

that dark cave and keep looking keep

looking for the treasure do not give up

no matter how dark it gets no matter how

long it takes no matter how difficult it

is keep looking

find the treasure and bring it back

bring back you thank you

[Applause] [Music]

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