do you wonder why some people face the
devastating tragedy in their lives and
seem to never recover while others face
similar circumstances and seem to thrive
just I won’t feel alone can you raise
your hand if you’ve ever experienced
struggle thank you you know I I’ve faced
strong and I’m gonna share some of that
with you today in fact all of us really
we all faced off on one kind of another
and it made me something like loneliness
or discouragement disappointment
maybe it’s bullying or poverty
maybe it’s abuse or neglect or maybe
even or the death of a loved one the
fact of the matter is I didn’t say some
of us will face struggle we all do we’ve
all faced trouble and it depends on what
we’re gonna do with it so we can when we
face this trouble some people choose
some wrong choices and they spiral
downward and they become very
discouraged and they make even poorer
choices with sadder outcomes but
research shows today that social media
really compounds this problem so let’s
think about it on Facebook Instagram
Twitter all those things you’re familiar
with we actually curate or pick out the
things we want people to see we put the
pictures that we want we make sure we
say it
just right and you know it can make the
rest of us feel like gosh we look on
social media everybody’s having fun
their houses are perfect their children
are adorable and their vacations are
spectacular you know who do we turn to
we’re in the midst of the struggle and
we and we are having a very difficult
time probably not the perfect people on
social media
instead we’ll probably seek out someone
who’s had a similar trial and maybe who
were courageous and transparent enough
to share them these three people sure
were the first is a little girl who grew
up in rural Mississippi her mother moved
away to the north and she had to live
with her grandmother at the age of nine
she was raped by a cousin and later she
was molested by a friend of the family
and then later an uncle as an adult she
found out that she had a half-sister she
didn’t even know about but despite all
of these difficulties Oprah Winfrey
became one of the most influential
influential women in the world it’s
amazing isn’t it I have a friend who
grew up in Nicaragua he doesn’t have any
arms and his family moved to the United
States to seek better medical care in
really a better way of life he was
teased mercilessly by kids in the
neighborhood and kids at school and
really people were staring at him all
the time
so he decided to learn to play the
guitar with his feet and sometimes
practice six or seven hours a day all
that hard work paid off
when Tim Melendez was invited to play
for the Pope Tony Melendez I know him
and I know here to be one of the most
joyful people I have ever met
in fact if you can believe this I have
watched him unlock his front door with
his feet and going and I’ve also watched
him pull up and hitch his trailer to his
SUV with his feet back the trailer out
in his car and drive away driving with
his feet in there was a student at a
university he was editor of the school
newspaper it was a prestigious school
and he was later kicked off the staff
but he continued writing under a pen
name
in fact he graduated and kept writing
this time children’s books he on his
first book that he ever wrote was
rejected 27 times before was published
and his wife committed suicide you know
him it’s dr. Seuss Theodor Geisel
otherwise known as dr. Seuss went on to
write more than 60 children’s books
which were translated into 20 different
languages and dr. Seuss if you go into
any household that have children you’ll
probably see dr. Seuss books there so
maybe you’re thinking to yourself I’m
overwhelmed in my projects are too big I
recommend that you seek out a friend or
a teacher or a counselor lots of people
are there to help you you see the truth
is there are walking wounded all
all the time and if we’re really honest
we’re all wounded in some way a wise
woman once said to me that one’s one can
become one’s gift when we choose to
share it with others and it really
empowered unity to think back on the
struggle in my life and be willing to
share it you see I’m the youngest of
four children I grew up in Memphis
Tennessee and my older brother Hal who
was 14 months older than I had Down
syndrome how done tragically when I was
10 years old and it was devastating
absolutely devastating in high school I
battled anorexia in in college I’ve a
totally Mia Irie throwing up probably 20
times a day and I’m just grateful to be
here to tell you about it
you see I carried a lot of shame about
that and I thought no one can ever help
me and if they can I certainly won’t
tell anybody about what I’m doing
because of my eating disorder I got to
college and really struggled with my
grades in fact I was put on academic
probation which made me feel like a
failure later in my 20s I experienced
panic attacks which were immobilizing
and terrifying and my husband and I
later dealt with infertility need i say
more so if you’re sitting there thinking
I have all these problems and I don’t
know if I’ll ever survive or if anybody
has ever said to you you’ll never amount
to anything I want you to remember these
words you get to decide are the
struggles in your life going to define
you or are you going to become stronger
for it
so Oprah and Tony and dr. Seuss made a
decision to allow it to
forward if you are really struggling and
if you know someone that’s struggling
you may feel like well let me go back
for just a moment people ask me what was
it like to lose your brother and this is
the only way I can think to describe it
imagine you’ve got a huge gash in your
leg it’s bleeding profusely in someone’s
very alcohol in it oh and then they’re
taking a scrub brush and they’re
describing an al you really think you
can’t take any more it is so painful but
you know the amazing thing about our
bodies when we sustain a cut our blood
begins to coagulate immediately of
course it still hurts and it’s oozing
and it’s awful but eventually a scab
will form there and it’ll get smaller
and smaller until all the remains as a
scar you know the thing about a scar
it’s actually stronger so you may know
people who are struggling you know what
they feel like they’re in a pit and you
can do one of two things you can either
choose to walk over to the edge and look
down your nose at them and say I’m so
sorry and then walk away thinking I’m so
glad that’s not me or you can choose to
be compassionate and compassion
literally means to suffer with when the
compassionate person is in the and
there’s a person in the pit and the
compassionate person comes over they
look down in the pit and then they crawl
down in with them and they sits shoulder
to shoulder and they ask things like
what can I do
may I share part of my story with you or
would you felt like for me to just sit
here with you you know the truth of the
matter our life is just like an airplane
flight there’s a long runway of
childhood and adolescence gaining speed
as we go but eventually we’ll lift off
and for those of you who have flown
before you know that can be a little
bumpy sometimes even a white-knuckle
experience but here’s what the pilots do
they know that at a higher altitude
they’re gonna find smooth air that’s
what they’re seeking now unfortunately
sometimes there’s a lot of clouds
between where you are in the smooth air
but you’ve got to get up through it
until it even though but here’s the
other thing that pilots know even on a
beautiful day without a cloud in the sky
you can still experience turbulence this
is life it will be turbulent just know
when you look on Facebook and Instagram
and if everything looks great for
everybody else you know it’s not true we
all are going to struggle we all will so
what do we do we have a choice I guess
we think you know we’re all hardwired
for struggle we all more I wouldn’t want
to go back and relive any of my life’s
experience where they were suffering but
I can say I’m stronger and more
compassionate for it remember there are
walking wounded all around you and your
wound can become your gift if you choose
to just if you decide to use it to help other people thank you
devastating tragedy in their lives and
seem to never recover while others face
similar circumstances and seem to thrive
just I won’t feel alone can you raise
your hand if you’ve ever experienced
struggle thank you you know I I’ve faced
strong and I’m gonna share some of that
with you today in fact all of us really
we all faced off on one kind of another
and it made me something like loneliness
or discouragement disappointment
maybe it’s bullying or poverty
maybe it’s abuse or neglect or maybe
even or the death of a loved one the
fact of the matter is I didn’t say some
of us will face struggle we all do we’ve
all faced trouble and it depends on what
we’re gonna do with it so we can when we
face this trouble some people choose
some wrong choices and they spiral
downward and they become very
discouraged and they make even poorer
choices with sadder outcomes but
research shows today that social media
really compounds this problem so let’s
think about it on Facebook Instagram
Twitter all those things you’re familiar
with we actually curate or pick out the
things we want people to see we put the
pictures that we want we make sure we
say it
just right and you know it can make the
rest of us feel like gosh we look on
social media everybody’s having fun
their houses are perfect their children
are adorable and their vacations are
spectacular you know who do we turn to
we’re in the midst of the struggle and
we and we are having a very difficult
time probably not the perfect people on
social media
instead we’ll probably seek out someone
who’s had a similar trial and maybe who
were courageous and transparent enough
to share them these three people sure
were the first is a little girl who grew
up in rural Mississippi her mother moved
away to the north and she had to live
with her grandmother at the age of nine
she was raped by a cousin and later she
was molested by a friend of the family
and then later an uncle as an adult she
found out that she had a half-sister she
didn’t even know about but despite all
of these difficulties Oprah Winfrey
became one of the most influential
influential women in the world it’s
amazing isn’t it I have a friend who
grew up in Nicaragua he doesn’t have any
arms and his family moved to the United
States to seek better medical care in
really a better way of life he was
teased mercilessly by kids in the
neighborhood and kids at school and
really people were staring at him all
the time
so he decided to learn to play the
guitar with his feet and sometimes
practice six or seven hours a day all
that hard work paid off
when Tim Melendez was invited to play
for the Pope Tony Melendez I know him
and I know here to be one of the most
joyful people I have ever met
in fact if you can believe this I have
watched him unlock his front door with
his feet and going and I’ve also watched
him pull up and hitch his trailer to his
SUV with his feet back the trailer out
in his car and drive away driving with
his feet in there was a student at a
university he was editor of the school
newspaper it was a prestigious school
and he was later kicked off the staff
but he continued writing under a pen
name
in fact he graduated and kept writing
this time children’s books he on his
first book that he ever wrote was
rejected 27 times before was published
and his wife committed suicide you know
him it’s dr. Seuss Theodor Geisel
otherwise known as dr. Seuss went on to
write more than 60 children’s books
which were translated into 20 different
languages and dr. Seuss if you go into
any household that have children you’ll
probably see dr. Seuss books there so
maybe you’re thinking to yourself I’m
overwhelmed in my projects are too big I
recommend that you seek out a friend or
a teacher or a counselor lots of people
are there to help you you see the truth
is there are walking wounded all
all the time and if we’re really honest
we’re all wounded in some way a wise
woman once said to me that one’s one can
become one’s gift when we choose to
share it with others and it really
empowered unity to think back on the
struggle in my life and be willing to
share it you see I’m the youngest of
four children I grew up in Memphis
Tennessee and my older brother Hal who
was 14 months older than I had Down
syndrome how done tragically when I was
10 years old and it was devastating
absolutely devastating in high school I
battled anorexia in in college I’ve a
totally Mia Irie throwing up probably 20
times a day and I’m just grateful to be
here to tell you about it
you see I carried a lot of shame about
that and I thought no one can ever help
me and if they can I certainly won’t
tell anybody about what I’m doing
because of my eating disorder I got to
college and really struggled with my
grades in fact I was put on academic
probation which made me feel like a
failure later in my 20s I experienced
panic attacks which were immobilizing
and terrifying and my husband and I
later dealt with infertility need i say
more so if you’re sitting there thinking
I have all these problems and I don’t
know if I’ll ever survive or if anybody
has ever said to you you’ll never amount
to anything I want you to remember these
words you get to decide are the
struggles in your life going to define
you or are you going to become stronger
for it
so Oprah and Tony and dr. Seuss made a
decision to allow it to
forward if you are really struggling and
if you know someone that’s struggling
you may feel like well let me go back
for just a moment people ask me what was
it like to lose your brother and this is
the only way I can think to describe it
imagine you’ve got a huge gash in your
leg it’s bleeding profusely in someone’s
very alcohol in it oh and then they’re
taking a scrub brush and they’re
describing an al you really think you
can’t take any more it is so painful but
you know the amazing thing about our
bodies when we sustain a cut our blood
begins to coagulate immediately of
course it still hurts and it’s oozing
and it’s awful but eventually a scab
will form there and it’ll get smaller
and smaller until all the remains as a
scar you know the thing about a scar
it’s actually stronger so you may know
people who are struggling you know what
they feel like they’re in a pit and you
can do one of two things you can either
choose to walk over to the edge and look
down your nose at them and say I’m so
sorry and then walk away thinking I’m so
glad that’s not me or you can choose to
be compassionate and compassion
literally means to suffer with when the
compassionate person is in the and
there’s a person in the pit and the
compassionate person comes over they
look down in the pit and then they crawl
down in with them and they sits shoulder
to shoulder and they ask things like
what can I do
may I share part of my story with you or
would you felt like for me to just sit
here with you you know the truth of the
matter our life is just like an airplane
flight there’s a long runway of
childhood and adolescence gaining speed
as we go but eventually we’ll lift off
and for those of you who have flown
before you know that can be a little
bumpy sometimes even a white-knuckle
experience but here’s what the pilots do
they know that at a higher altitude
they’re gonna find smooth air that’s
what they’re seeking now unfortunately
sometimes there’s a lot of clouds
between where you are in the smooth air
but you’ve got to get up through it
until it even though but here’s the
other thing that pilots know even on a
beautiful day without a cloud in the sky
you can still experience turbulence this
is life it will be turbulent just know
when you look on Facebook and Instagram
and if everything looks great for
everybody else you know it’s not true we
all are going to struggle we all will so
what do we do we have a choice I guess
we think you know we’re all hardwired
for struggle we all more I wouldn’t want
to go back and relive any of my life’s
experience where they were suffering but
I can say I’m stronger and more
compassionate for it remember there are
walking wounded all around you and your
wound can become your gift if you choose
to just if you decide to use it to help other people thank you
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