[Applause]
I’ll start this off with a simple
statement that my GPA can attest to one
of the few things I know in life is that
I don’t know very much at all I guess
some like a lot of kids in their 20s
unsure of some of the most basic things
about my life what it is that I want to
do don’t want to do should be doing
shouldn’t be doing I guess there are a
few things I’m sure of I’m sure that Tom
Brady will win a Super Bowl tomorrow I’m
sure that my roommate steals my food and
I’m sure that I was lied to you on my
tour about how cold it gets in Canton
New York during February but other than
that I’m not really sure about much two
years ago one of the things that defined
my life up until that point came to an
end one of the things that I thought I
knew unquestioningly I began to question
and I’ve spent my time since then
fundamentally changing the way I think
about myself and how it is I want to
spend my time I remember the day I knew
I wanted to play lacrosse I was in the
second grade my sisters and I had piled
into the back of our mom station wagon
driving home from a doctor’s appointment
we stopped in to a sporting goods store
so that my sister could buy a new pair
of sneakers while she tried on shoes I
wandered the aisles and I came across a
mannequin who looked more like a robot
decked out in full across equipment
poised ferociously with lacrosse stick
shut it out like a spear I ran and
grabbed my mom begging her to buy me the
cool-looking equipment telling her how
badly I wanted to play like I had seen
the high schoolers play and my dad’s
prep school alumni day but she dragged
me out of the store and told me that I
would have to wait a year until I was
old enough to play in our town’s youth
lacrosse program but like most little
kids I was persistent
and eventually my parents did buy me a
lacrosse stick and pads and a helmet I
would spend every day bouncing a little
cross ball to myself off the concrete
wall in our garage or shooting on the
orange goal in the yard that I’d gone
for my birthday
eventually wreckless turned into club
lacrosse and by the time I was in middle
school I was traveling up and down the
East Coast to play in tournaments in
Long Island in Baltimore in Pennsylvania
I loved every second of it my life was
playing lacrosse
and waiting to play lacrosse at night I
thought about the next time I’d have the
opportunity to run down a field and fire
a shot past a goalie and a night I
dreamt about the perfect four on three
fast-break materialising with me scoring
a last-second goal to win a national
championship for Duke all through middle
school in high school I knew that I
loved lacrosse and I knew that
unquestioningly sure I would get
frustrated by a bad practice or game but
my passion was genuine I was lucky
enough to enter high school often a time
of transition and uncertainty for kids
with something that I was good at and
passionate about and maybe I could even
get a real opportunity from it down the
line my parents were supportive I had a
healthy outlet they were glad to see
that I was doing something I loved and
maybe even one day it could help me get
into a great college by the time I was a
junior in high school
it appeared that my dreams of college
lacrosse were coming to fruition the
previous year I had transferred to a
boarding school in Connecticut that not
only offered a great academic
opportunity but had the added benefit of
allowing me to play some of the most
competitive high school lacrosse in the
country in October of that year I’ve
verbally committed to play Division one
lacrosse at a liberal arts school in
Pennsylvania it was years of hard work
finally paying off in just two short
years I’d graduate high school and I
have the opportunity to play with and
against the teams I’d always dreamed of
army-navy UNC Colgate I had everything I
thought I wanted great friends great
family a great future academically and
athletically but a few months after
making that decision I began to wonder I
was already spending so much of my time
playing lacrosse or training to play
lacrosse that I began to worry that I’d
made the wrong decision to play at the
Division one level in college if I could
barely bounce the athletic academic and
social demands of high school how would
I pull off the more intense routine of a
college athlete I was scared to tell my
parents and wondered if they would be
upset with me for having focused on one
goal for so long only to achieve it and
then change my mind for a little reason
but they were supportive they encouraged
me to do it felt right and to find a
school or I’d be happiest regardless of
lacrosse I called my would-be college
coach and told him I wasn’t coming that
experience is my first inkling of just
how important self true
this I knew what I wanted I knew what my
truth was but I was lying my fear of
what others would say about it to
dictate my reality in my future
eventually I found Slough a respected
division through the cross program that
would offer me a better balance between
lacrosse and life I was excited to have
the opportunity to pursue my passions
for athletics while trying things I
never had done before I arrived at st.
Lawrence with the knee still injured
from high school lacrosse meaning I
would miss my first fall of college
athletics it took a toll on me to watch
my teammates work out while I rehabbed
my knee and having to ride the
stationary bike while they practiced but
I felt a renewed energy towards playing
after the new year unfortunately after
just two practices that spring I tore my
PCL again meaning that I would be
sidelined for the rest of the season I
was devastated
I so badly wanted to realize that dreams
the dreams of my childhood to step onto
a field and be a college lacrosse player
but that season was an amazing
experience
our team reached the Final Four losing
in the national semi-final and making it
farther into the NCAA tournament than
any Saint Lawrence across human history
I was excited and optimistic about my
prospects of making an impact on the
field for sophomore year unfortunately I
once again got injured that summer
breaking my ankle working out it would
be another six months until I could
return to athletics I had spent the last
year on and off crutches in and out of
MRI machines and doctors appointments I
was done I knew I was done I had been
for a while but at this point there was
just no getting around it there’s a
phenomenon known as burnout in which
athletes lose their passion for their
sport and what would have been the prime
of their career to prevent burnout all
youth athletes are cautioned against
playing too much too early against
choosing a single sport and pursuing
only that at a young age I never listen
to this advice I thought that I would be
different that I’d never stop breathing
and living for lacrosse but I wasn’t
different I did burn out lacrosse became
work it was boring entire some and I
didn’t
do it anymore I had no desire to go
shoot lacrosse balls with friends I
stopped watching every game I could find
online I ignored emails from my coaches
all summer unable to tell them the truth
that I needed to I was terrified of what
them and other people would think of me
when they knew my decision to quit
lacrosse they called me a quitter
lazy a bum factually I worked up the
nerve and sent a quick note to them
saying that I wasn’t planning on playing
with the team that spring and that I was
done with lacrosse they told me to come
talk to them when I got back to campus I
didn’t and I’m and I regret that I was
paralyzed in the face of my fear of even
saying aloud what my truth had become I
didn’t want to quit lacrosse in a lot of
ways I loved my teammates my coach is
the camaraderie and experience of
working towards a common goal but if I
had continued to do something that I was
apathetic of and resentful towards it
wouldn’t have been fair to anyone
especially myself and wife we are often
faced with tough decisions and all too
often as the old saying goes the tough
decision to make is the right one it was
an incredibly hard decision to quit
lacrosse to look at the years of hard
work that I’d put in and seemingly
abandon it but it was what I needed to
do it’s too easy to remain content in
imperfect situations to never question
things I didn’t quit lacrosse I wouldn’t
be standing here talking to you today I
wouldn’t write for the school newspaper
I wouldn’t have found my new passion
fly-fishing I encourage you all to take
an honest critical assessment of what
you do with your days and wonder if you
do them out of habit and comfort or fear
of what other people might think if you
stopped or if you do them because you
genuinely loved it and it gets you
excited about life I encourage you all
to be fearless in pursuit of what sets
your soul on fire thank you