opportunity to go to primary Children’s
Hospital and meet with the Ethics Board
we have met with them one time but they
felt like there would be some more study
some more support from the hospital to
maybe he’ll her make her whole and this
is my daughter Kiva deja Wells that I
speak of the second appointment was her
body was shutting down and we needed to
make a decision and we need to make it
quick and the beauty of it was when I
went to the Ethics Board the doctors and
the nurses that I’m intending to her and
been working with me closely were there
to meet me I didn’t know they were gonna
be there but they believed that it was
time to it was more humane to let her go
than to keep her on life support when
she was born she was diagnosed with a
condition called McCune albright
syndrome which is which was a very rare
condition this was back in October 1999
and October 13th 1999 and a doctor just
happened to notice something about her
he happened to notice that something was
off he happened to notice that it seems
something similar like this before and
so he contacted NIH National National
Institute of Health out of Maryland and
they said look for ABCD and then let us
know and he looked for ABCD and found
ABCD efg hijk LMNOP and immediately she
became a case study for them all her
care came through email via and NIH
because primarily had no idea what to do
they had no clue basically it’s a
genetic disorder and it’s really we’re
very very rare and they told me that the
possibility you haven’t another child
like this is one in the gazillion they
said she is a cosmic happening and but
they were able to study her very very
well and basically her whole integrand
system system was doing the opposite of
its proper function and so there was
quick shutdown and a lot of things going
on now we had decided to take her off
the life support they told me
in you can come in and I said I can’t
I’m gonna cry it’ll be too painful I’ll
let my friend go in and I’ll just stand
not too far away and when you take it
out I just didn’t want to see them take
the tubing out of her you know spare
myself more pain and suffering and these
challenges I was having and they took
the tubing out of her and she cried now
here’s the deal I didn’t get to hear her
her last cry because I was too chicken I
was too afraid to go into the room and
be part of that experience now what I do
know to be true since then he said our
loved ones never want us to have the
what-ifs what have I done this what have
I done that what if I stayed longer what
if I shared more of my ahhh what if I
got the hospital on time and I know they
do not wish for us to ever have regret
and this is just the very beginning of
her schooling mom this the soul this
Kiva you know every time I come out and
I speak and I share and I talk about her
she’s right here and she’s very
conscious and very aware that we’re
having this dialogue right now and
that’s one of the greatest beauties and
one of the biggest lessons I learned
from her in this lifetime and and so I
began to go into the room and my friend
told me she cried a little bit felt a
little bad and then I knew I need to
stay strong I’m supporting her I am
assuring her into the next phase of her
life because you see I truly believe and
I’ve learned from her over and over and
over again there is no death there is
what we call it transitioning and what
she did was trans transition from one
form into the next form and I got
crystal-clear about that and I remember
walking into the room sitting on that
plush beautiful green rocking chair and
they handed her to me five pounds
another five points five months seven
pounds and they handed her to minute I
remember holding her my hand on her
chest
watching it go up watching it go down
watching it go up and feeling it go up
and going to just the email the exhale
the beauty of life the beauty of
expression and then within an hour which
literally felt like five minutes it took
an hour she left her body now what
happened after this led me to my life
working what it is I do today I’m
holding her she takes three distinct
breasts very clear and in that moment
she left from the crown of her head I
felt an immense amount of heat leaving
the crown of her head as I sat there and
immediately after that took place a hand
went on my shoulder and a person stood
beside me and I knew in that moment it
was her and as I began to marvel and all
this energy and all this beauty beat
this beauty I picked her up and I put
her back in her bed and I just I took a
moment just to notice how there was
nothing in this form it was now it was
it was like a clay formation I I just I
remember just soaking it all in because
this was really important right and I
would find out later and I remember just
going you’re not there anymore and
walking out of the room and had a friend
there with me and we’re going to the
elevator the elevator opens up and I
hear hey wait for me I’m coming with you
I’m thinking I’m going crazy but I know
I wasn’t cuz I had some other
experiences prior to that and it was
clear as day and I thought to myself and
I just got in the elevator I put my head
down and I’m like I wonder if my friend
just heard that I can’t tell her she
looked up at me and said did you hear
that she heard it too and it was just
like that during the whole proceedings
the whole preparation for celebrating
her life and her services where she was
just in people’s faces and doing things
and and she would leave evidence and you
just couldn’t deny it and I remember at
her celebration of life there were all
female pallbearers they were all
beautiful like canary yellows and pastel
pink sand and remember down her passing
who actually I didn’t tell you this but
she passed up my favorite favorite
holiday I’m from Boston I live in Utah
now but I’m true Bostonian and and it
was just st. Patrick’s Day is my
favorite holiday we celebrate like crazy
you know and I thought is this gonna be
one of those holidays I’m gonna dread
and it turns out I still love and I
still celebrate st. Patrick’s Day but
the day that she transitioned and I
remember going home one day it was maybe
a couple of weeks after I had buried her
body and I walked into her my room it
was pitch black and something knocked me
off my feet and I found out there’s
actually a condition where if you don’t
deal with the grief or the pain and be
in relationship with your emotions that
it will knock you on your butt and and
that’s what it did and I lied there and
I cried and I screamed because I was
always the strong one as being strong
for the other kids I was being strong
for my friends I was being whoa LaVon
can handle this right Bostonian power
and it knocked me it knocked me and I
remember laying there and then within a
matter of minutes I sat up in this
pitch-black room and I said if I’m going
through this and I’m pretty strong and
pretty powerful what are the people
doing people that are being
misunderstood people going through the
loss in the grieving process and that’s
when I made it my commitment and my
dream to literally get up off that floor
and start creating systems start going
out and just speaking and sharing from
my heart and sharing workshops and doing
whatever it takes so just get people to
get to this place where it’s okay to
grieve it’s normal its natural and we
experienced so much loss in life but we
got to keep on going keep going and so
with that set it done I love you I honor
you and oh my gosh
life after life there is no death
[Music]
[Applause] [Music]