[Music]
when I was a freshman in high school I
had just transferred to a new huge sort
of impersonal high school where I didn’t
know anyone and I suffered trepidations
and fear like any new student I wasn’t
really sure how or where I was going to
fit in my first week my freshman English
teacher announced that we would be
required to give a short introductory
speech to the class as part of our
public speaking unit and since I had
spoken all of about ten words that
entire first week in school I thought
this was a really great assignment and I
wanted to choose a topic kind of offbeat
to help my fellow classmates sort of get
comfortable with me so the speech topic
was the history of the handshake and I
started off by well I’ll show you really
quick hi I’m Serena nice to meet you
hi I’m Serena good to meet you hi I’m
sure you know great to meet you
so did I get everyone’s attention well
good because I got their attention as
well and I held their attention for the
next few minutes while I discussed why
this was such an important form of
communication throughout history by the
end of the day around 8th period
geometry I had gotten something of a
reputation already I had a lot of
students who didn’t know me come up to
me and ask hey aren’t you that he’s that
girl that gave that talk about the
handshake I heard about you that’s so
cool that’s so cool
I mean it’s every new students dream to
hear these words spoken back to them I’d
done something really basic I’d done
something you probably would never read
about in the headlines but it had had an
impact it had started a conversation
simple physical gestures
like the handshake can open the world to
you there is sentiment and purpose with
such gestures with the human touch which
something as basic as that human
handshake and there’s a reason to get
behind this and pursue the handshake as
if it were a campaign like a like a
presidential campaign maybe we could
call it shake my hand maybe we can even
start this movement today the handshake
has existed in some form or another for
thousands of years the gesture began as
a way of conveying peaceful intentions
by extending empty right hands strangers
could show that they bore no ill-will
toward one another and if you think
about it
the up and down movement of the
handshake itself could dislodge any
daggers or knives that might be hidden
in your sleeve which sort of seems like
a really first you know important first
step to communication we see the
handshake in any number of situations
politicians for example they love to
shake hands we shake hands over business
deals we shake hands when we are
receiving accolades and diplomas they
come in variant strengths strong and
firm sometimes a bit weak and limp and
sometimes sweaty and well the modern
concept of the handshake seems rather
casual to most of us there’s something
important and symbolic in the act itself
that helped us to understand how we
function in society the historian Walter
Burkert explains an agreement can be
expressed quickly and clearly with words
but it’s made effective by a ritual
gesture open weaponless hands stretched
out grasping each other in a mutual
handshake I want to focus on a couple of
words that shouldn’t be taken for
granted in that statement kind of like
the three pillars of a really good
handshake effective open and mutual it
seems silly to dissect a simple hand
movement but when you think about that
deconstruction you can you can make the
case you can see the importance of the
signals that come from that they’re
meant to connect us
and yet in this world right now we seem
sometimes utterly disconnected unable to
rally and solve problems so what is it
that prevents us from taking that small
step and just reaching out towards
someone else and starting that first
conversation well in case you hadn’t
noticed we’re in something of a
polarizing time in history our planet is
connected in all kinds of ways but we
are also less open sometimes less
effective and we have less mutual
appreciation for one another than ever
before
there are several contributing factors
to this and I’m just going to touch on a
few that I think apply here we have
technology at our disposal but we are
often not so personally connected we
engage in polarizing behavior out of
complacency and pigeonholing and we end
up fearful of the unknown and stressed
to find effective solutions to the
challenges that we face so let’s talk
about digital connectivity without
personal connectivity we might just be
the victims of our own enthusiasm to
embrace the nuances of modern
communication no doubt you’ve observed
that many are driven by the desire to be
known by many but understood by a few
sometimes it sort of feels as though
social media has replaced living and
bonding with status updates and food
photos we sort of cherry-pick the
moments we want to share and the
vulnerability we allow ourselves but we
believe in the power of these forms of
socialization because well we are
connected across the globe in a way we
never thought possible before but there
is something uniquely lost in all of
that there’s a lack of intimacy there’s
a lack of the very vulnerability
required to shake hands or to show any
kind of body language that is sincere
how we face challenges and solve them is
increasingly influenced by our
dependence on automation digitization
has changed the way that we view
products
services and solutions but it also
sometimes ignores key emotional and
physical cues often needed to innovate
so the depth of sincerity is therefore
really hard to engage it’s not always
clear what the true nature of someone’s
agenda is when we’re only engaging in
virtual handshakes so what’s the message
here how effective open or mutual can we
be when facing challenges if we push
digital connection over physical
connection
worse when we retreat from vulnerability
none of us are immune to polarization
everyone here must sense that this age
of you’re either with us or against us
is a deeply troubling state of the world
polarization means people are unwilling
to compromise speak to each other in
tones of affirmation and consideration
or listen intently so many of us have
gotten used to divisive nough social
interactions and that creates a vacuum
in debate and discussion sort of killing
the notion of compromise and negotiation
it’s a challenge to create impact when
we are constantly distinguishing
ourselves from others I’m Asian American
he’s gay he’s a socialist she’s a
blue-collar worker
our obsession with labeling or
pigeonholing has created a fractured
community and we effectively create
walls so how effective open or mutually
beneficial can this be to anyone or any
political social or economic cause how
do we predict success from within the
confines of those walls I don’t mean to
give you the impression that I have no
appreciation for the complexities of
some of our most devastating challenges
but sometimes oversimplification can
actually help us to identify the
smallest steps we need to take before we
take the giant leaps the message here
when we are conditioned
to separate ourselves we find it hard to
identify common ground but a handshake
could change that the pigeonholing I
spoke of as well as the technology that
we allow in our lives certainly
contributes sometimes to the feelings of
stress and isolationism do you ever feel
there isn’t enough time in a day to be
deliberate with our personal and shared
human experiences well without those
human experiences we begin to fear the
unknown and slowly close ourselves off
not just to people but to possibility
cognitive scientists have always argued
that we were never really designed to be
solitary creatures and yet loneliness
sometimes feels like a modern day
epidemic dr. cacio Poe of the university
of chicago has been studying loneliness
for over two decades and he argues that
the absence of human connection triggers
primal alarm bells much like what we
experience when we have hunger or fear
or pain so as a human race we’ve
survived because we have been social
we’ve been physical with each other in
order to face the challenges throughout
the thousands of eight of years so why
would this be any different now in the
modern time exclusion self-inflicted or
otherwise is exactly the opposite of a
handshakes intent and we stand to be
weaker for it so how can the handshake
be meaningful in a world of disunion and
discord if we are indeed closed off
either because of digitizing our
interactions or sorting ourselves out
into certain profiles or because we’re
too stressed afraid or alone how do we
break that cycle
it feels really big it feels as big as
say famine or nuclear war it feels as
though we’re all just a bit out of sync
with each other and it’s too easy to
hide in the shadow of risk-taking but
remember what I said about simplicity
let’s go back to this image the
handshake what is your most
raw impression of it it’s touch inner
New York Times modern love sa writer
Michele fear to me so makes the case for
moments of intimacy between strangers
touch solidifies something an
introduction a salutation a feeling
empathy is what she writes touch can
also be useful in suppressing pain and
can help us to synchronize which is
crucial for social development I’m not
telling you anything you don’t already
know human touches a tool for comfort
and empathy well like that’s just common
sense but maybe maybe it’s not common
practice it contributes to our longevity
much like healthy food or exercise we
underestimate the value of touch I mean
it’s not you know a hug isn’t just a hug
it actually helps to release the
hormones that we need to feel good it
also conveys inclusion there is strength
in numbers and inclusion offers us a
chance to collectively plan and to work
together in 1986 I and many of my second
grade classmates participated in a
publicity campaign called Hands Across
America maybe some people here remember
it this campaign raised money and
awareness to fight famine in Africa and
homelessness in the United States
approximately 6.5 million people held
hands in a human chain for 15 minutes
along a path across the contiguous
United States I mean talk about strength
in numbers to bring awareness to an
issue when’s the last time you saw six
people holding hands at the same time
Barry White jr. is a 5th grade English
teacher in Charlotte North Carolina and
every morning and every afternoon he
greets and says goodbye to each of his
students with elaborate and personalized
handshakes that’s right every single
handshake is a different one he started
with simple handshakes with a few
students at recess and then he said it
became contagious and first it was just
his class that
became students from other classes I’ve
watched the video of students lining up
and down his corridor every morning
ready to do you know they’re cool high
fives and slaps and I mean it’s amazing
and I always end up with a huge smile in
my face and I feel inspired he’s pumped
up his students are pumped up and his
colleagues agree that high academic
achievement every day requires an
investment in that meaningful
relationship between a teacher and their
student if you see that someone cares
about you in that cool and eccentric way
you will be more engaged you will
succeed now I realize we’ve been witness
to many important handshakes throughout
time that haven’t always translated into
success or change and sometimes they’ve
just failed even to unite us there is no
guarantee that your next handshake leads
to the impact that you desire but at the
very least you’ve created a connection
maybe you’ve exchanged ideas and
dialogue and that’s a risk worth taking
because meaningful physical connections
with people allow us to socialize
face-to-face it allows us to invest in
common denominators and to foster
inclusion if you feel passionate about a
cause if you want to rig the oceans of
plastic waste or you know provide better
educational opportunities for the
economically challenged believe me your
ideas will fly faster and further if you
just take that first step to reach out
your hand and connect with someone else
after that first week in high school I
felt less afraid
I felt included and I began to make
relationships maybe repeat this mantra
to yourself when you’re facing a new
challenge a handshake can lead to a
conversation conversations lead to
relationships relationships lead to
collaboration and collaboration can lead
to change I know the handshake seems
almost too basic to Corral around and
build a movement but
but no one builds a house starting with
the roof I just believe that a handshake
can only be a positive push in the
direction of impact we are about to
break now so this might actually be the
exact opportunity to start such a unique
campaign I want you to turn to someone
that you don’t know during that break
and shake their hand or fist-bump them
maybe you wipe the sweat off your hand
first or dislodge any of the ninth
century BC daggers that you have in your
sleeve but today I want you to think
about why that handshake could be so
much more than just a greeting even if
you’ve done it a hundred times before so
let’s get to shaking and let’s get to
work thank you
[Applause]
when I was a freshman in high school I
had just transferred to a new huge sort
of impersonal high school where I didn’t
know anyone and I suffered trepidations
and fear like any new student I wasn’t
really sure how or where I was going to
fit in my first week my freshman English
teacher announced that we would be
required to give a short introductory
speech to the class as part of our
public speaking unit and since I had
spoken all of about ten words that
entire first week in school I thought
this was a really great assignment and I
wanted to choose a topic kind of offbeat
to help my fellow classmates sort of get
comfortable with me so the speech topic
was the history of the handshake and I
started off by well I’ll show you really
quick hi I’m Serena nice to meet you
hi I’m Serena good to meet you hi I’m
sure you know great to meet you
so did I get everyone’s attention well
good because I got their attention as
well and I held their attention for the
next few minutes while I discussed why
this was such an important form of
communication throughout history by the
end of the day around 8th period
geometry I had gotten something of a
reputation already I had a lot of
students who didn’t know me come up to
me and ask hey aren’t you that he’s that
girl that gave that talk about the
handshake I heard about you that’s so
cool that’s so cool
I mean it’s every new students dream to
hear these words spoken back to them I’d
done something really basic I’d done
something you probably would never read
about in the headlines but it had had an
impact it had started a conversation
simple physical gestures
like the handshake can open the world to
you there is sentiment and purpose with
such gestures with the human touch which
something as basic as that human
handshake and there’s a reason to get
behind this and pursue the handshake as
if it were a campaign like a like a
presidential campaign maybe we could
call it shake my hand maybe we can even
start this movement today the handshake
has existed in some form or another for
thousands of years the gesture began as
a way of conveying peaceful intentions
by extending empty right hands strangers
could show that they bore no ill-will
toward one another and if you think
about it
the up and down movement of the
handshake itself could dislodge any
daggers or knives that might be hidden
in your sleeve which sort of seems like
a really first you know important first
step to communication we see the
handshake in any number of situations
politicians for example they love to
shake hands we shake hands over business
deals we shake hands when we are
receiving accolades and diplomas they
come in variant strengths strong and
firm sometimes a bit weak and limp and
sometimes sweaty and well the modern
concept of the handshake seems rather
casual to most of us there’s something
important and symbolic in the act itself
that helped us to understand how we
function in society the historian Walter
Burkert explains an agreement can be
expressed quickly and clearly with words
but it’s made effective by a ritual
gesture open weaponless hands stretched
out grasping each other in a mutual
handshake I want to focus on a couple of
words that shouldn’t be taken for
granted in that statement kind of like
the three pillars of a really good
handshake effective open and mutual it
seems silly to dissect a simple hand
movement but when you think about that
deconstruction you can you can make the
case you can see the importance of the
signals that come from that they’re
meant to connect us
and yet in this world right now we seem
sometimes utterly disconnected unable to
rally and solve problems so what is it
that prevents us from taking that small
step and just reaching out towards
someone else and starting that first
conversation well in case you hadn’t
noticed we’re in something of a
polarizing time in history our planet is
connected in all kinds of ways but we
are also less open sometimes less
effective and we have less mutual
appreciation for one another than ever
before
there are several contributing factors
to this and I’m just going to touch on a
few that I think apply here we have
technology at our disposal but we are
often not so personally connected we
engage in polarizing behavior out of
complacency and pigeonholing and we end
up fearful of the unknown and stressed
to find effective solutions to the
challenges that we face so let’s talk
about digital connectivity without
personal connectivity we might just be
the victims of our own enthusiasm to
embrace the nuances of modern
communication no doubt you’ve observed
that many are driven by the desire to be
known by many but understood by a few
sometimes it sort of feels as though
social media has replaced living and
bonding with status updates and food
photos we sort of cherry-pick the
moments we want to share and the
vulnerability we allow ourselves but we
believe in the power of these forms of
socialization because well we are
connected across the globe in a way we
never thought possible before but there
is something uniquely lost in all of
that there’s a lack of intimacy there’s
a lack of the very vulnerability
required to shake hands or to show any
kind of body language that is sincere
how we face challenges and solve them is
increasingly influenced by our
dependence on automation digitization
has changed the way that we view
products
services and solutions but it also
sometimes ignores key emotional and
physical cues often needed to innovate
so the depth of sincerity is therefore
really hard to engage it’s not always
clear what the true nature of someone’s
agenda is when we’re only engaging in
virtual handshakes so what’s the message
here how effective open or mutual can we
be when facing challenges if we push
digital connection over physical
connection
worse when we retreat from vulnerability
none of us are immune to polarization
everyone here must sense that this age
of you’re either with us or against us
is a deeply troubling state of the world
polarization means people are unwilling
to compromise speak to each other in
tones of affirmation and consideration
or listen intently so many of us have
gotten used to divisive nough social
interactions and that creates a vacuum
in debate and discussion sort of killing
the notion of compromise and negotiation
it’s a challenge to create impact when
we are constantly distinguishing
ourselves from others I’m Asian American
he’s gay he’s a socialist she’s a
blue-collar worker
our obsession with labeling or
pigeonholing has created a fractured
community and we effectively create
walls so how effective open or mutually
beneficial can this be to anyone or any
political social or economic cause how
do we predict success from within the
confines of those walls I don’t mean to
give you the impression that I have no
appreciation for the complexities of
some of our most devastating challenges
but sometimes oversimplification can
actually help us to identify the
smallest steps we need to take before we
take the giant leaps the message here
when we are conditioned
to separate ourselves we find it hard to
identify common ground but a handshake
could change that the pigeonholing I
spoke of as well as the technology that
we allow in our lives certainly
contributes sometimes to the feelings of
stress and isolationism do you ever feel
there isn’t enough time in a day to be
deliberate with our personal and shared
human experiences well without those
human experiences we begin to fear the
unknown and slowly close ourselves off
not just to people but to possibility
cognitive scientists have always argued
that we were never really designed to be
solitary creatures and yet loneliness
sometimes feels like a modern day
epidemic dr. cacio Poe of the university
of chicago has been studying loneliness
for over two decades and he argues that
the absence of human connection triggers
primal alarm bells much like what we
experience when we have hunger or fear
or pain so as a human race we’ve
survived because we have been social
we’ve been physical with each other in
order to face the challenges throughout
the thousands of eight of years so why
would this be any different now in the
modern time exclusion self-inflicted or
otherwise is exactly the opposite of a
handshakes intent and we stand to be
weaker for it so how can the handshake
be meaningful in a world of disunion and
discord if we are indeed closed off
either because of digitizing our
interactions or sorting ourselves out
into certain profiles or because we’re
too stressed afraid or alone how do we
break that cycle
it feels really big it feels as big as
say famine or nuclear war it feels as
though we’re all just a bit out of sync
with each other and it’s too easy to
hide in the shadow of risk-taking but
remember what I said about simplicity
let’s go back to this image the
handshake what is your most
raw impression of it it’s touch inner
New York Times modern love sa writer
Michele fear to me so makes the case for
moments of intimacy between strangers
touch solidifies something an
introduction a salutation a feeling
empathy is what she writes touch can
also be useful in suppressing pain and
can help us to synchronize which is
crucial for social development I’m not
telling you anything you don’t already
know human touches a tool for comfort
and empathy well like that’s just common
sense but maybe maybe it’s not common
practice it contributes to our longevity
much like healthy food or exercise we
underestimate the value of touch I mean
it’s not you know a hug isn’t just a hug
it actually helps to release the
hormones that we need to feel good it
also conveys inclusion there is strength
in numbers and inclusion offers us a
chance to collectively plan and to work
together in 1986 I and many of my second
grade classmates participated in a
publicity campaign called Hands Across
America maybe some people here remember
it this campaign raised money and
awareness to fight famine in Africa and
homelessness in the United States
approximately 6.5 million people held
hands in a human chain for 15 minutes
along a path across the contiguous
United States I mean talk about strength
in numbers to bring awareness to an
issue when’s the last time you saw six
people holding hands at the same time
Barry White jr. is a 5th grade English
teacher in Charlotte North Carolina and
every morning and every afternoon he
greets and says goodbye to each of his
students with elaborate and personalized
handshakes that’s right every single
handshake is a different one he started
with simple handshakes with a few
students at recess and then he said it
became contagious and first it was just
his class that
became students from other classes I’ve
watched the video of students lining up
and down his corridor every morning
ready to do you know they’re cool high
fives and slaps and I mean it’s amazing
and I always end up with a huge smile in
my face and I feel inspired he’s pumped
up his students are pumped up and his
colleagues agree that high academic
achievement every day requires an
investment in that meaningful
relationship between a teacher and their
student if you see that someone cares
about you in that cool and eccentric way
you will be more engaged you will
succeed now I realize we’ve been witness
to many important handshakes throughout
time that haven’t always translated into
success or change and sometimes they’ve
just failed even to unite us there is no
guarantee that your next handshake leads
to the impact that you desire but at the
very least you’ve created a connection
maybe you’ve exchanged ideas and
dialogue and that’s a risk worth taking
because meaningful physical connections
with people allow us to socialize
face-to-face it allows us to invest in
common denominators and to foster
inclusion if you feel passionate about a
cause if you want to rig the oceans of
plastic waste or you know provide better
educational opportunities for the
economically challenged believe me your
ideas will fly faster and further if you
just take that first step to reach out
your hand and connect with someone else
after that first week in high school I
felt less afraid
I felt included and I began to make
relationships maybe repeat this mantra
to yourself when you’re facing a new
challenge a handshake can lead to a
conversation conversations lead to
relationships relationships lead to
collaboration and collaboration can lead
to change I know the handshake seems
almost too basic to Corral around and
build a movement but
but no one builds a house starting with
the roof I just believe that a handshake
can only be a positive push in the
direction of impact we are about to
break now so this might actually be the
exact opportunity to start such a unique
campaign I want you to turn to someone
that you don’t know during that break
and shake their hand or fist-bump them
maybe you wipe the sweat off your hand
first or dislodge any of the ninth
century BC daggers that you have in your
sleeve but today I want you to think
about why that handshake could be so
much more than just a greeting even if
you’ve done it a hundred times before so
let’s get to shaking and let’s get to
work thank you
[Applause]
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