that spoke to me a lot
it was Junot Diaz is mfa first people of
color and in his piece he discusses how
difficult it was for him to be a
Dominican writer and an MFA program
where authors and characters of color
were given little space to exist right
when he was an MFA student Diaz said
that he had frequent thoughts of wanting
to drop out but he didn’t because he
found solidarity and other writers of
color on campus who shared similar
stories as him two decades later I found
myself in a similar position as Diaz as
an MFA student myself I can’t help but
think about his article whenever I’m in
class or wherever I’m on campus I also
have friends who are writers of color
that I depend on for everything from
guidance to critical feedback but most
importantly to remind me that my work
matters in this MFA program that I go to
seeing I to live in a colorless desert
where I’ve given up seeing my reflection
stories of black boys who are Martian
and martyr unafraid to lead and be given
lead stories of sons whom promise
mothers a new house where each room
echos the wet sound teeth make when
baptized and smile I did not intend on
becoming a zoo the bronze giraffe the
token black child some white woman’s
favorite souvenir from Africa to be
displayed and held high like Simba
nowadays I found myself saying I don’t
want to be an MFA student anymore I
think I could make for a pretty good
stripper so pay me so pay me flood me
with a tsunami of green paper every time
I tucked my tongue like a dog’s tail for
stripping away my voice every time I’m
asked to not write about race I’m tired
of blackness not being appreciated
though our culture is appropriated on
days I feel I’m migrating out of my own
identity I seek refuge in the presence
of black women because black women know
the ministry of survival well because I
watched my friend Lea read and become
the epitome of black joy to an audience
who never understand her magic how it
makes white spaces breathable for a
ated voices because black women never
get the visibility that they deserve
because i watched my mother grandmother
and her mother to become sanctuaries to
protect boys from becoming beasts you
cannot have me you cannot call me yours
I first did four books full of mirrors
only to be given shards I cut my eyes
trying to find my likeness and poems you
provided maybe maybe being blind is
better because at least here I could see
all the color that you left out so I
know today’s theme is about momentum but
I believe before we can have a
conversation about how to move forward
we must first talk about reflection
being able to see oneself in any given
position so the question and the concern
I have is how do we expect students to
build momentum and imagine themselves
becoming poets or lawyers or doctors if
they’ve never been introduced to someone
who looks like them in those positions I
can understand my ideas felt hopeless
like myself space wasn’t given to
highlight narratives he could see
himself in so before we can even talk
about momentum we must understand how
lack of representation is dangerous
because it can limit the imagination to
what we think we can become right I’ll
be honest I hated poetry in high school
I could never imagine myself becoming a
poet in fact I didn’t even like reading
it it was the worst John where I thought
that could exist in English and yet
somehow I became a poet and I don’t even
know how that really works out maybe
that’s for like another TED talk I don’t
know but like Diaz has struggled because
I couldn’t find a connection to the text
I was given I remember reading poets
like Robert Frost and Frost is a great
poet but him and I see the world
differently so how could I imagine
becoming a poet if space wasn’t created
for me to read stories that I could see
myself in that was until I was
introduced to James Baldwin a collection
of his essays actually and from then
from there you know my life changed
finally a writer I could see parts of
myself in like an unfinished mirror it
was good enough for me
how I got into spoken word was because I
watched a lot of YouTube videos and I
remember the first person I remember
watching was Javon Johnson’s cuz he’s
black his poem cuz he’s black and I
remember crying and being upset because
I too was tired of black boys being
treated like criminals before they were
even being treated like humans and
Jevons poem had given me inspiration as
well as momentum to write my own piece
and I remember a few weeks later I would
go to my first open mic and I put my
name on the signup sheet and I remember
that when the host called me on stage he
was like now bringing to the stage
Danny keeper that’s not how it went but
in my mind I like to think it went that
way but you know you get it and I
remember I stood up and I paused and
something in my mind was like no this
ain’t you homie and I was member I
looked at the audience and then I looked
at the hosts and they were all looking
at me and I just left I just I just
rolled out I was like nope this isn’t
for me I’ve rolled out I don’t have to
venue without performing I left because
I was afraid I was afraid because I had
never been introduced to a space like
that before so I couldn’t imagine myself
existing in it I limited myself to what
I thought I could become right the
reason I named the title of my TED talk
to be a kid again is because kids are
not aware of limits so they dream
fearlessly and you know that’s the
beautiful thing about a child’s
imagination is that they don’t see
consequence they only see endless
possibility and I’m sure we all have
stories of doing something we thought
was possible when we were kids and then
it ended up not being possible and then
we ended up getting our ass whooped for
it you know see y’all guilty I’m you
know I feel y’all and so you know the
child’s imagination they don’t they
don’t see the consequences of their
actions they only see this possibility
they their mind only knows how to move
forward past what seems impossible and
isn’t that a form of momentum so I knew
that if I was going to become a poet it
was gonna take more than momentum it was
gonna take more than inspiration I was
gonna have to also imagine myself
becoming the poet that I want to become
I create because I want my poems to
serve as a fat as a flashlight for black
youth
a hard time seeing themselves become
poets or writers in general I write
because I want to be what Baldwin was
for me a reflection an example of
someone who didn’t let their limited
imagination limit their future
I do poetry because I want to create the
world I want to live in one where my
anxiety doesn’t limit my momentum from
seeing how I’m a vessel of possibility
one where I could imagine being anything
outside of a hashtag one where students
in Baltimore can identify what they’re
reading and dream fearlessly and I know
that when it comes to creating this
world that I must be mindful of my
decisions like Diaz is narrative as well
as my own narrative you know we can see
that within this bigger picture of
things it’s so easy to just leave
someone else’s voice out representation
is important because it’s how we can see
ourselves as kids becoming anything
something my mom always told me growing
up was that it’s not about you and I
think that her actions reflect this
message the most see if calloused hands
could talk then they would speak of
lifting dreams bigger than a child’s
imagination and most of us don’t know
what that’s like to carry endless weight
on fingers too tired to carry even its
own skin my mother knows a lot about
this kind of loving her palms are
rougher than bruce pavement her fists
veterans in the art of ass walk will
deliver more pounds than a Big Mac and
always found ways to rise above a heavy
day my mom is a small woman capable of
big things when she cooks it looks like
dancing the way she moves between
counter tops only taking about to check
the oven y’all I swear she never misses
a beat even after we suffered two home
foreclosures there wasn’t a day where I
went hungry because my mother is a
ghetto Alchemist making temporary things
stretch infinitely like the horizon she
doesn’t get much praise for raising
three sons an unsung hero with crystal
gems four knuckles she is a hidden pearl
hard like garnet with a purple heart
like amethyst able to have stand
whatever the universe throws her way how
rough it must be to be a jewel
in the form of a black woman but mom is
the best at safety good and intercepting
catastrophes she has never been Allstate
but I swear she got good hands
always open to receive the world’s worst
to ensure my protection sometimes
calling her mom feels like an accident
God be a better name to describe someone
with such divine strength and I spent my
years trying to repay her but what good
is giving a watch on Mother’s Day gift I
can’t give her time back to go to
college she craves the degree the same
way Olympians desire medals to feel
accomplished in my hands they cannot
give like hers they cannot do the
impossible I’m sure to her sacrificing
parts of yourself looks a lot like love
but to me it looks like torture as she
wonders well I’m too scared to ask for
help and it’s because I want her to have
enough love left over for herself but
how do you convince the hand that feeds
you to stop caring so much my mother’s
dreams are a collage of Magazine
pictures she is deserving of more than
the finer things life has to offer most
days I wish I could find another way to
say thank you to say you are deserving
of everything and more but for now all I
have to give her this poem so that since
I was little my mom had always dreamed
about going to college and I believed
what stopped her momentum was having to
raise three sons so I’ll end with this
I’m extremely proud to say that my mom
is now enrolled in Community College and
I think think that what pushed her was
seeing me graduate in the spring and
seeing my brother getting ready to
graduate this fall you know what’s a
better reflection than your own blood I
think through us she realized that she
didn’t have to limit her momentum or her
dreams and that it was impossible for
her to become anything that she wants to
become so all of that is to say it’s
never too late to dream fearlessly
see the possibility not the limits and
cherish the narratives that you do see
yourself in and then build space for others to do the same thank you