[Music]
hi like you said I’m Freddie so I’m in
London raised paracin suburb born and
raised entrepreneur originally from
Cameron but really and simply I’m
Freddie if I were to think about utopia
I want you think about this one thing
that I’ve been struggling with all my
life and if I think about this thing for
me is being and I get it
life is hard but it’s not what I mean
the problem I’ve had for so long was
with the feeling of life up until
recently it’s been really really
difficult for me to leave my skin it
always seemed like whatever I was doing
I was never happy with it like if I have
to select a picture that image for me it
seemed like in my head I had this
massive organization this big building
they are the government and the leader
at the top is me but our main enemy and
our main target that person who knows is
the most it’s Freddie as well and I know
it might sound quite dramatic when I say
that but I also know that a lot of you
right now can relate because at the same
time I’ve also always felt like there
was more than one person in this head
it’s definitely more than one Freddie
but at the time it felt very unbearable
many times there’s so many times where I
didn’t know if I was going to make it to
the next day you know when you feel like
you have one of these people in your
head and they just doing different
things saying different things they
don’t make sense they don’t get along
that’s how it felt for so long and at
the same time struggling with being or
cements that I found it really difficult
to know when my youth was I’m a solution
hunter I love solution I love answers I
love to know you know why we’re here
what am I doing here and I just couldn’t
understand what the point of me was and
I just didn’t like myself so what am I
doing here
so everything changed that summer a few
years ago every summer is the same thing
I don’t know if it’s because it’s my
birthday in July but I get very very
down
I’m a very dramatic person like I told
you self beating every every summer what
have you done with your life you haven’t
done enough I don’t know maybe that’s
the reason but that’s summer in
particular I was struggling I had I
would have back-to-back panic attacks
all the time so I don’t know if any of
you has always had any panic attacks but
the way they would feel for me I would
just feel for a few minutes but that
felt like hours like I was stuck in this
really dark tunnel but there’s no light
at the end and there’s no way there’s
absolutely no way that things can get
better from there but that summer so
things are really bad Padgett don’t
understand things are finally changing
for me I finally met a decent man
because I’ve collected the bad
boyfriends but this one is amazing we’ve
just moved in together and I’ve been in
London for two years now I’m in a good
place I have really good friends I hate
my job I really hate it but it’s a good
one and it pays well but I just don’t
understand and this time I’m just going
to fight I understand that this is me I
feel bad all the time I feel I have
really strong bad of depression they
come in and good but this time it needs
to stop so I decided to go to see a
therapist so I go to see Claire and I
said to her I’m going to be really
honest with you I am Freddie but there’s
a lot of us in his head I’m gonna be
honest with you okay I’m crazy
help me
and at the time I saw that to her it
wasn’t the first time that I had this
conversation with someone the first time
I had this conversation I was eight
years old and I went to my dad my dad is
weird like me but most of all he loves
to listen to me
not many people do that but he doesn’t
mind so I went to him and I said that I
have a massive problem I think there’s
two people in my head and he said
actually I think in your case is more
four or five it didn’t help at the time
but when I was starting to do my therapy
and I went to Claire and I said you know
all of these characters are there this
is how we started to approach them as
just different freddie’s and characters
and at the same time this that same
month
I also launched my blog I have always
wanted to have a blog but I was too shy
and I was like who do you think you are
for who is going to come in with
whatever you have to say so I just
didn’t feel I could do it
the thing is where I’m from no one calls
me Freddie
my name is Fred eh they call me Fred in
France but doesn’t work here apparently
so Freddy works better then another
thing that I don’t understand how very
easily turned into Frankie
you would be surprised amount of people
who call me Frankie so Frankie became
that that joke Frankie is my alter ego
so when I launched my blog it was called
I go by Frankie because Frankie is
fearless she’s fun you know nothing like
Freddy
but like the having that therapy and
during the blog at the same time because
I was exploring all of these different
characters and finally giving them that
chance by doing therapy you know what
actually I don’t know you so I’m going
to go through all of these different
characters and we’re going to approach
you with much more kindness and being
open to the fact that I might just not
know them and the blog became that
platform to really express all of you
all of this work that I was doing in
therapy and it drew so much confidence
that’s forward a few years later like
now we have a community of over a
hundred and thirty thousand people
across social media and I also run these
workshops they’re called Sheehan East
because like I told you I feel like
we’re made of all of these characters
and I really love to work with women and
just give them that that approach that
maybe you just don’t know and when she
unleashes his characters she becomes an
and confident because I think the
problem that I’ve struggled with this
whole time was those boxes we have such
few little boxes to play with like no
one can exist in these boxes that we
have society but one is the society who
is society people it’s us but there are
so many things that are sprung on us
through our lives and then we just end
up with this mess I can tell you how it
went for me I’m a child – before I’m 10
years old
I’m fine like life is good my only idea
of blackness is that I have this edgy
born looking skin looks like chocolate I
love it
I go to private school at the age of 10
and when I arrived there so private
school definitely a gap in the diversity
and this is when I realized that I’m
black when the first person asked me
does the water go Brown when you have a
shower two years later I realized that
I’m also a girl like a woman when some
guys stop start to mop me because I have
heavy legs I was 12 and also when
managing their feelings and trying to to
be noticed by them became the endgame I
noticed I was a woman and then a few
years later uni days I move so I go to
this business school in posh Paris
and this is when I realized that I’m a
suburban and how low is ranked – so I
get to the age of late teens early 20s
and I have all of those projections I
have people on me like how this runs
slow being black being a woman at every
level and I know that we all have that
you know we all have those tiny boxes
that and it’s okay we made this filing
system sometimes but the problem is when
we use the same boxes to define
ourselves it’s just too narrow and it
got me thinking what if actually my
purpose because trust me I’ve been
really struggling with this what’s my
purpose what am I doing here
why should I be here what if our purpose
was just actually to self become and
what I mean when I say self becoming is
what is you know we think that we know
so much we can be so stubborn and the
first thing that we think that we know
is ourselves
do we really because I feel like when I
started to approach myself giving giving
myself the benefit out of doubt I might
not know you thing has got so much
easier so maybe that’s what our purpose
is to self become and when you think
about it it can make sense we are
animals we live in this ecosystem we
depend on it to continue to exist and
existing is what we do so how do we
sustain it by becoming better because if
we become better if we learn who we are
if we self become we also developed new
ways to make sure that we sustain this
environment that we rely on right so
when you think about this maybe we’ve
been doing things the wrong way this
whole time then because many of us
struggle like really found it hard to
feel like we are individually of any use
but we are this tool actually which our
system depends on and we’ve been doing
things the wrong way this whole time I
mean look at the state of the world
we’ve been focusing on races on gender
on state on sexuality you look at the
world the leaders that we have that’s
where they’ve been focusing on and it
led all of us to be either really
insecure and happy with ourselves but we
can’t sustain our environment if we do
that and it’s not how we start off is it
I have a 10 month old son and I see it
in him there’s nothing that can stop him
he is trying everything it doesn’t
matter if he fourth is going to try
again and we’ve all been there we’ve all
been this really feisty people but then
those things happen so the purpose maybe
it’s just self becoming and if you
really decide to approach yourself as
these canvas of characters that you
might not know and that you want to
explore because this is what you are
supposed to do to become and just find
out who you are then you realize that
the first thing that you need is
confidence and because it’s almost that
we owe it to the world to sustain it to
fully become explore who we are and just
serve it so confidence is one of the two
that we should be entitled to the same
way that we mid-water the same way that
we need food to exist when confidence is
part of this tool that we should be
entitled to and this is why I think that
we should just go out and claim it
because those narrow box says no one
can continue in that you are so much
more than that and it’s hard for us to
start two approaches to approach
ourselves like that so much more than
that so confident we just deserve it we
should just claim it we are just much
more than those boxes in this filing
system that is too narrow
if you’ve ever feel uncomfortable if
you’re in if you’re still struggling
with the way you know like with how you
feel in your skin with the way you look
at yourself that’s because you’ve been
fed the wrong information this whole
time people society however you call it
they’ve sprung their expectations on you
people need and ask for that so just
turn the camera just face face yourself
and just explore I mean you just have
the benefit of that maybe I’m much more
than that but I’ve been so constricted
in this view I haven’t been allowed to
see it and if there’s one thing that I
really want you to bear in mind is that
you are entitled to confidence it’s not
just like sitting here and you decide if
you take it it’s yours you should go and
take it because you are entirely valid
you are this complex person you’re made
of so many different people there’s no
baseline for comparison I’m Freddie
Eric kind of probably made of 47
Freddie’s I don’t know I suppose there’s
a James here James will be made of 53
James where do we start the comparison
where’s the baseline like we should not
like we all valid we don’t need to be
anyone else we are this tool part of
this environment that we here to sustain
so what I want you to do today start
doing is to go on that journey you need
to and pick the all of those
things that people have put onto you
just and pick it all of those things
that you’ve been uncomfortable with they
are not on you because I want to tell
you something whatever you think that I
am or whatever you think that you’ve
seen or you’ve heard my accent you’re
wrong
before I am black before I am a woman I
am fairy
[Applause]
hi like you said I’m Freddie so I’m in
London raised paracin suburb born and
raised entrepreneur originally from
Cameron but really and simply I’m
Freddie if I were to think about utopia
I want you think about this one thing
that I’ve been struggling with all my
life and if I think about this thing for
me is being and I get it
life is hard but it’s not what I mean
the problem I’ve had for so long was
with the feeling of life up until
recently it’s been really really
difficult for me to leave my skin it
always seemed like whatever I was doing
I was never happy with it like if I have
to select a picture that image for me it
seemed like in my head I had this
massive organization this big building
they are the government and the leader
at the top is me but our main enemy and
our main target that person who knows is
the most it’s Freddie as well and I know
it might sound quite dramatic when I say
that but I also know that a lot of you
right now can relate because at the same
time I’ve also always felt like there
was more than one person in this head
it’s definitely more than one Freddie
but at the time it felt very unbearable
many times there’s so many times where I
didn’t know if I was going to make it to
the next day you know when you feel like
you have one of these people in your
head and they just doing different
things saying different things they
don’t make sense they don’t get along
that’s how it felt for so long and at
the same time struggling with being or
cements that I found it really difficult
to know when my youth was I’m a solution
hunter I love solution I love answers I
love to know you know why we’re here
what am I doing here and I just couldn’t
understand what the point of me was and
I just didn’t like myself so what am I
doing here
so everything changed that summer a few
years ago every summer is the same thing
I don’t know if it’s because it’s my
birthday in July but I get very very
down
I’m a very dramatic person like I told
you self beating every every summer what
have you done with your life you haven’t
done enough I don’t know maybe that’s
the reason but that’s summer in
particular I was struggling I had I
would have back-to-back panic attacks
all the time so I don’t know if any of
you has always had any panic attacks but
the way they would feel for me I would
just feel for a few minutes but that
felt like hours like I was stuck in this
really dark tunnel but there’s no light
at the end and there’s no way there’s
absolutely no way that things can get
better from there but that summer so
things are really bad Padgett don’t
understand things are finally changing
for me I finally met a decent man
because I’ve collected the bad
boyfriends but this one is amazing we’ve
just moved in together and I’ve been in
London for two years now I’m in a good
place I have really good friends I hate
my job I really hate it but it’s a good
one and it pays well but I just don’t
understand and this time I’m just going
to fight I understand that this is me I
feel bad all the time I feel I have
really strong bad of depression they
come in and good but this time it needs
to stop so I decided to go to see a
therapist so I go to see Claire and I
said to her I’m going to be really
honest with you I am Freddie but there’s
a lot of us in his head I’m gonna be
honest with you okay I’m crazy
help me
and at the time I saw that to her it
wasn’t the first time that I had this
conversation with someone the first time
I had this conversation I was eight
years old and I went to my dad my dad is
weird like me but most of all he loves
to listen to me
not many people do that but he doesn’t
mind so I went to him and I said that I
have a massive problem I think there’s
two people in my head and he said
actually I think in your case is more
four or five it didn’t help at the time
but when I was starting to do my therapy
and I went to Claire and I said you know
all of these characters are there this
is how we started to approach them as
just different freddie’s and characters
and at the same time this that same
month
I also launched my blog I have always
wanted to have a blog but I was too shy
and I was like who do you think you are
for who is going to come in with
whatever you have to say so I just
didn’t feel I could do it
the thing is where I’m from no one calls
me Freddie
my name is Fred eh they call me Fred in
France but doesn’t work here apparently
so Freddy works better then another
thing that I don’t understand how very
easily turned into Frankie
you would be surprised amount of people
who call me Frankie so Frankie became
that that joke Frankie is my alter ego
so when I launched my blog it was called
I go by Frankie because Frankie is
fearless she’s fun you know nothing like
Freddy
but like the having that therapy and
during the blog at the same time because
I was exploring all of these different
characters and finally giving them that
chance by doing therapy you know what
actually I don’t know you so I’m going
to go through all of these different
characters and we’re going to approach
you with much more kindness and being
open to the fact that I might just not
know them and the blog became that
platform to really express all of you
all of this work that I was doing in
therapy and it drew so much confidence
that’s forward a few years later like
now we have a community of over a
hundred and thirty thousand people
across social media and I also run these
workshops they’re called Sheehan East
because like I told you I feel like
we’re made of all of these characters
and I really love to work with women and
just give them that that approach that
maybe you just don’t know and when she
unleashes his characters she becomes an
and confident because I think the
problem that I’ve struggled with this
whole time was those boxes we have such
few little boxes to play with like no
one can exist in these boxes that we
have society but one is the society who
is society people it’s us but there are
so many things that are sprung on us
through our lives and then we just end
up with this mess I can tell you how it
went for me I’m a child – before I’m 10
years old
I’m fine like life is good my only idea
of blackness is that I have this edgy
born looking skin looks like chocolate I
love it
I go to private school at the age of 10
and when I arrived there so private
school definitely a gap in the diversity
and this is when I realized that I’m
black when the first person asked me
does the water go Brown when you have a
shower two years later I realized that
I’m also a girl like a woman when some
guys stop start to mop me because I have
heavy legs I was 12 and also when
managing their feelings and trying to to
be noticed by them became the endgame I
noticed I was a woman and then a few
years later uni days I move so I go to
this business school in posh Paris
and this is when I realized that I’m a
suburban and how low is ranked – so I
get to the age of late teens early 20s
and I have all of those projections I
have people on me like how this runs
slow being black being a woman at every
level and I know that we all have that
you know we all have those tiny boxes
that and it’s okay we made this filing
system sometimes but the problem is when
we use the same boxes to define
ourselves it’s just too narrow and it
got me thinking what if actually my
purpose because trust me I’ve been
really struggling with this what’s my
purpose what am I doing here
why should I be here what if our purpose
was just actually to self become and
what I mean when I say self becoming is
what is you know we think that we know
so much we can be so stubborn and the
first thing that we think that we know
is ourselves
do we really because I feel like when I
started to approach myself giving giving
myself the benefit out of doubt I might
not know you thing has got so much
easier so maybe that’s what our purpose
is to self become and when you think
about it it can make sense we are
animals we live in this ecosystem we
depend on it to continue to exist and
existing is what we do so how do we
sustain it by becoming better because if
we become better if we learn who we are
if we self become we also developed new
ways to make sure that we sustain this
environment that we rely on right so
when you think about this maybe we’ve
been doing things the wrong way this
whole time then because many of us
struggle like really found it hard to
feel like we are individually of any use
but we are this tool actually which our
system depends on and we’ve been doing
things the wrong way this whole time I
mean look at the state of the world
we’ve been focusing on races on gender
on state on sexuality you look at the
world the leaders that we have that’s
where they’ve been focusing on and it
led all of us to be either really
insecure and happy with ourselves but we
can’t sustain our environment if we do
that and it’s not how we start off is it
I have a 10 month old son and I see it
in him there’s nothing that can stop him
he is trying everything it doesn’t
matter if he fourth is going to try
again and we’ve all been there we’ve all
been this really feisty people but then
those things happen so the purpose maybe
it’s just self becoming and if you
really decide to approach yourself as
these canvas of characters that you
might not know and that you want to
explore because this is what you are
supposed to do to become and just find
out who you are then you realize that
the first thing that you need is
confidence and because it’s almost that
we owe it to the world to sustain it to
fully become explore who we are and just
serve it so confidence is one of the two
that we should be entitled to the same
way that we mid-water the same way that
we need food to exist when confidence is
part of this tool that we should be
entitled to and this is why I think that
we should just go out and claim it
because those narrow box says no one
can continue in that you are so much
more than that and it’s hard for us to
start two approaches to approach
ourselves like that so much more than
that so confident we just deserve it we
should just claim it we are just much
more than those boxes in this filing
system that is too narrow
if you’ve ever feel uncomfortable if
you’re in if you’re still struggling
with the way you know like with how you
feel in your skin with the way you look
at yourself that’s because you’ve been
fed the wrong information this whole
time people society however you call it
they’ve sprung their expectations on you
people need and ask for that so just
turn the camera just face face yourself
and just explore I mean you just have
the benefit of that maybe I’m much more
than that but I’ve been so constricted
in this view I haven’t been allowed to
see it and if there’s one thing that I
really want you to bear in mind is that
you are entitled to confidence it’s not
just like sitting here and you decide if
you take it it’s yours you should go and
take it because you are entirely valid
you are this complex person you’re made
of so many different people there’s no
baseline for comparison I’m Freddie
Eric kind of probably made of 47
Freddie’s I don’t know I suppose there’s
a James here James will be made of 53
James where do we start the comparison
where’s the baseline like we should not
like we all valid we don’t need to be
anyone else we are this tool part of
this environment that we here to sustain
so what I want you to do today start
doing is to go on that journey you need
to and pick the all of those
things that people have put onto you
just and pick it all of those things
that you’ve been uncomfortable with they
are not on you because I want to tell
you something whatever you think that I
am or whatever you think that you’ve
seen or you’ve heard my accent you’re
wrong
before I am black before I am a woman I
am fairy
[Applause]
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