good morning everybody
I am so glad to be here with you and Wow
sixth graders I think you’re probably
going to be one of my toughest crowds
what do you think I want you to be
gentle on me I could tell you all about
my educational career I could even tell
you about speaking at the White House
and some of the amazing people that I’ve
met but I decided to go back to when I
was a 6th grader and tell you about some
of the lessons that I learned that sound
all right you know one of the biggest
things about me and about anyone who has
had any level of success is their
ability to build relationships and so
when I thought about the topics that I
was given to consider to speak with you
about today
I thought about relationships so I want
to take you back into my sixth grade
year in a school called Mira Vista
Elementary School in the city of El
Cerrito California it was a school very
much like this lots of diversity lots of
beautiful young people and lots of
amazing staff members who cared about
each one of us I remember the summer of
my fifth grade year during the summer of
my fifth grade year I had a lot of
anxiety I was really really worried
there was a reason for that worried you
know just before my fifth the summer of
my fifth grade year I found out that I
was going to have a teacher named mrs.
de Mertz
now mrs. de Virts was the meanest
teacher in the school according to all
of the students and so all summer long I
thought oh mrs. de Mertz my sixth grade
year is going to be a wash
actually I had never spoken with mrs. de
Mertz
I don’t Elise seen her in the hallway
and I remember her horn rimmed glasses
and she wore one of those beehive
hairdos and she always had a very
serious look on her face I also remember
the click-click-click of her heels in
the hallway I know that she I had I
actually loved school I loved school a
lot I actually had decided in third
grade that I wanted to be a teacher and
I figured perhaps that mrs. de Mertz
might crush that dream the first day was
like any other day mrs. de verts had
those activities you know the ones the
warm-up activities everybody gets to
know each other we go outside for a game
of kickball and it’s all very exciting I
started to think maybe I had
second-guessed or not been quite clear
about who mrs. de Mertz really was one
day my mom was going to be late picking
me up my mom worked in San Francisco you
know anything about El Cerrito to San
Francisco that’s a very very long drive
so I had to stay and with mrs. de Mertz
for half an hour after school Oh God
I had to stay with mrs. de MERS by
myself for half an hour
actually as I thought about it during
those first few days it hadn’t been too
bad with her
so maybe my anxiety could be cured by my
curiosity maybe I could find out a
little bit more about her by spending
some time with her after school I
remember her asking me to sharpen the
pencils to put him in the pencil jar I
remember her asking me to stop the home
I remember her asking me to organize all
the different sections in the back and
when I finished I actually sat down to
complete my homework mrs. de Mertz came
and sat down right next to me
in fact she sat so close that I could
smell her estee lauder perfume I thought
oh no this is really not going to end
well the interesting part is that she
actually started asking me about my
family asking me about my friends asking
me about my hobbies and then she said
something interesting she said before I
ever met you Ramona my name is Ramona
yes Ramona the pest before I ever met
you she said I actually found out from
your fifth grade teacher that you were
very bright and that you wanted to be a
teacher and that you could be a
tremendous help to me in my class I felt
horrible I had made all of these stories
up in my mind about who mrs. don’t Mertz
was I had heard that she was mean I
believed all of those young people
without ever giving her a chance
I found out them actually that curiosity
can cure your anxiety and I remembered a
lesson that my mother had taught me
maybe your mom teaches you that same
lesson the lesson is give everyone an A
until they earn an F again the lesson is
give everyone an A until they earn
enough
once I had finished kind of sharing with
mrs. de Mertz who I was she had an
opportunity to share with me who she was
actually mrs. de Mertz had decided that
she was going to be a teacher about at
the same age that I decided which was
third grade mrs. de Mertz
actually had was the daughter of
immigrants who took education very
seriously mrs. de Mertz actually was one
who believed in all of her students so I
figured that what had happened was that
students were afraid of her because she
held very high expectations for all of
us she expected all of us to complete
our homework she expected all of us to
do all of the mathematic problems she
expected all of us to be successful
professionals at the end of the day I
reminded of another lesson that my
parents had taught me and that lesson is
give everyone the benefit of the doubt
give everyone the benefit of the doubt
many years later after I had graduated
from UC Berkeley and enrolled in a
teacher education program at the
University of San Francisco I came back
to me revista Elementary School in fact
I came back to the very classroom where
mrs. de Mertz had taught me I was a
student teacher then I had a teacher
that in retrospect actually looked very
much like mrs. de Mertz just a slightly
younger version I remember thinking
about her and thinking about all the
lessons that she had taught me or
lessons that I’ve learned from her
through my mom and dad’s words I was in
the middle one day of lesson that I had
to teach when you’re a student teacher
you have to take over the class as a
part of your learning and I remember
doing that
a young man named Joe in the middle of
my lesson boys and girls a young man
named Joe got up and walked out and left
the classroom and slammed the door I
couldn’t believe it I was stunned was I
a failure was I actually destined to be
a teacher I couldn’t believe that Joe
had done that I didn’t understand it to
make it even worse my supervisor was
there taking notes looking at how I was
teaching and determining what my grade
was going to be in my student teaching
class I remember the master teacher
leaving the classroom I remember her
coming back but she didn’t come back
with Joe and I was in high anxiety later
that day after I had finished all the
duties of the day I received a call from
Joe’s mother and Joe’s mother told me
that Joe had come home and been very
disgusted and that she wanted to meet
with me right after school my heart beat
could be felt throughout the entire
school
what did Joe’s mother want with me what
I done so wrong to Joe about an hour
later Joe’s mom and and he showed up in
the classroom again I’m in the very same
classroom where I learned from mrs. de
Mertz
Joe’s mom says I heard about you hmm
I thought yeah I heard that you think
that you’re better than everybody at
this school and that you never call on
Joe I took a deep breath and I thought
about mrs. de Mertz in fact it was
almost like she was sitting there with
her estee lauder perfume I thought what
would mrs.
do so I looked at Joe and I said you
know before I ever took this class I met
with the master teacher and I asked the
master teacher about each and every one
of you
I found out Joe that you’re a skilled
musician and that one day you want to be
a conductor and I was thrilled and I
couldn’t wait to be your teacher I truly
truly apologize Joe if you felt that I
was not asking you any questions I
apologize from the bottom of my heart
Joe’s mother stared at me
she couldn’t believe it she thought I
was going to get all upset about what
she had said about me she thought that I
was going to get angry about what Joe
had come home and told her I began to
ask his mother questions questions about
the family questions about their friends
and their hobbies I remember learning a
lesson then that I don’t think my mom
and dad had taught me yet let your
curiosity be matched with your
compassion I could have gotten all angry
I could have been mean to Joe and his
mom based on what they said but instead
I began to ask them questions like mrs.
de Mertz had done me and I began to
learn even more about Joe and his family
than I already knew as educators we
often speak to students about curiosity
being at the edge of innovation you’ve
learned all about the great inventors
whether it’s Albert Einstein or George
Washington Carver all of those
individuals were incredibly curious and
that curiosity led to some of the
wonderful innovation that we have now
but curiosity can also be a
great relationship starter and builder
curiosity leads to understanding serving
as a cure for anxiety as long as you
give everyone an a until they earn an F
as you always give people the benefit of
the doubt
and you let your curiosity be matched
with compassion in closing boys and
girls let me say a couple of things one
as I think about the lessons I learned
in sixth grade
actually they were lessons that my
mother and father had taught me there
are so many lines and things that your
mom and dad might say that they won’t
become reality until later when you
learn a little bit more about what they
actually were trying to say
are you experiencing something that
helps you there’s another thing that
curiosity can cure and that is the
person who gets on your last nerve does
anybody have one of those it could be
the bully in the classroom it could be
your best friend sometimes curiosity can
cure those things all you have to do is
step back and think about not yourself
but the other person I actually was a
very tiny sixth grader I wore a 13 baby
shoe super little and I could have been
the subject for many many bullies in
fact I was initially but in sixth grade
I learned how to get close to the
bullies and ask them questions that
allowed me to build relationships with
them and eventually I learned that that
helps me even an adulthood it helps me I
hope that something I’ve said has
stimulated today I’m so thankful that
you all were my audience today and I ask
you to certainly hopefully take
something that I’ve said and build
relationships and be successful in your
own lives thank you so much for the
opportunity to share with you you were a
powerful and dynamic audience
thank you so much
[Applause]
you
I am so glad to be here with you and Wow
sixth graders I think you’re probably
going to be one of my toughest crowds
what do you think I want you to be
gentle on me I could tell you all about
my educational career I could even tell
you about speaking at the White House
and some of the amazing people that I’ve
met but I decided to go back to when I
was a 6th grader and tell you about some
of the lessons that I learned that sound
all right you know one of the biggest
things about me and about anyone who has
had any level of success is their
ability to build relationships and so
when I thought about the topics that I
was given to consider to speak with you
about today
I thought about relationships so I want
to take you back into my sixth grade
year in a school called Mira Vista
Elementary School in the city of El
Cerrito California it was a school very
much like this lots of diversity lots of
beautiful young people and lots of
amazing staff members who cared about
each one of us I remember the summer of
my fifth grade year during the summer of
my fifth grade year I had a lot of
anxiety I was really really worried
there was a reason for that worried you
know just before my fifth the summer of
my fifth grade year I found out that I
was going to have a teacher named mrs.
de Mertz
now mrs. de Virts was the meanest
teacher in the school according to all
of the students and so all summer long I
thought oh mrs. de Mertz my sixth grade
year is going to be a wash
actually I had never spoken with mrs. de
Mertz
I don’t Elise seen her in the hallway
and I remember her horn rimmed glasses
and she wore one of those beehive
hairdos and she always had a very
serious look on her face I also remember
the click-click-click of her heels in
the hallway I know that she I had I
actually loved school I loved school a
lot I actually had decided in third
grade that I wanted to be a teacher and
I figured perhaps that mrs. de Mertz
might crush that dream the first day was
like any other day mrs. de verts had
those activities you know the ones the
warm-up activities everybody gets to
know each other we go outside for a game
of kickball and it’s all very exciting I
started to think maybe I had
second-guessed or not been quite clear
about who mrs. de Mertz really was one
day my mom was going to be late picking
me up my mom worked in San Francisco you
know anything about El Cerrito to San
Francisco that’s a very very long drive
so I had to stay and with mrs. de Mertz
for half an hour after school Oh God
I had to stay with mrs. de MERS by
myself for half an hour
actually as I thought about it during
those first few days it hadn’t been too
bad with her
so maybe my anxiety could be cured by my
curiosity maybe I could find out a
little bit more about her by spending
some time with her after school I
remember her asking me to sharpen the
pencils to put him in the pencil jar I
remember her asking me to stop the home
I remember her asking me to organize all
the different sections in the back and
when I finished I actually sat down to
complete my homework mrs. de Mertz came
and sat down right next to me
in fact she sat so close that I could
smell her estee lauder perfume I thought
oh no this is really not going to end
well the interesting part is that she
actually started asking me about my
family asking me about my friends asking
me about my hobbies and then she said
something interesting she said before I
ever met you Ramona my name is Ramona
yes Ramona the pest before I ever met
you she said I actually found out from
your fifth grade teacher that you were
very bright and that you wanted to be a
teacher and that you could be a
tremendous help to me in my class I felt
horrible I had made all of these stories
up in my mind about who mrs. don’t Mertz
was I had heard that she was mean I
believed all of those young people
without ever giving her a chance
I found out them actually that curiosity
can cure your anxiety and I remembered a
lesson that my mother had taught me
maybe your mom teaches you that same
lesson the lesson is give everyone an A
until they earn an F again the lesson is
give everyone an A until they earn
enough
once I had finished kind of sharing with
mrs. de Mertz who I was she had an
opportunity to share with me who she was
actually mrs. de Mertz had decided that
she was going to be a teacher about at
the same age that I decided which was
third grade mrs. de Mertz
actually had was the daughter of
immigrants who took education very
seriously mrs. de Mertz actually was one
who believed in all of her students so I
figured that what had happened was that
students were afraid of her because she
held very high expectations for all of
us she expected all of us to complete
our homework she expected all of us to
do all of the mathematic problems she
expected all of us to be successful
professionals at the end of the day I
reminded of another lesson that my
parents had taught me and that lesson is
give everyone the benefit of the doubt
give everyone the benefit of the doubt
many years later after I had graduated
from UC Berkeley and enrolled in a
teacher education program at the
University of San Francisco I came back
to me revista Elementary School in fact
I came back to the very classroom where
mrs. de Mertz had taught me I was a
student teacher then I had a teacher
that in retrospect actually looked very
much like mrs. de Mertz just a slightly
younger version I remember thinking
about her and thinking about all the
lessons that she had taught me or
lessons that I’ve learned from her
through my mom and dad’s words I was in
the middle one day of lesson that I had
to teach when you’re a student teacher
you have to take over the class as a
part of your learning and I remember
doing that
a young man named Joe in the middle of
my lesson boys and girls a young man
named Joe got up and walked out and left
the classroom and slammed the door I
couldn’t believe it I was stunned was I
a failure was I actually destined to be
a teacher I couldn’t believe that Joe
had done that I didn’t understand it to
make it even worse my supervisor was
there taking notes looking at how I was
teaching and determining what my grade
was going to be in my student teaching
class I remember the master teacher
leaving the classroom I remember her
coming back but she didn’t come back
with Joe and I was in high anxiety later
that day after I had finished all the
duties of the day I received a call from
Joe’s mother and Joe’s mother told me
that Joe had come home and been very
disgusted and that she wanted to meet
with me right after school my heart beat
could be felt throughout the entire
school
what did Joe’s mother want with me what
I done so wrong to Joe about an hour
later Joe’s mom and and he showed up in
the classroom again I’m in the very same
classroom where I learned from mrs. de
Mertz
Joe’s mom says I heard about you hmm
I thought yeah I heard that you think
that you’re better than everybody at
this school and that you never call on
Joe I took a deep breath and I thought
about mrs. de Mertz in fact it was
almost like she was sitting there with
her estee lauder perfume I thought what
would mrs.
do so I looked at Joe and I said you
know before I ever took this class I met
with the master teacher and I asked the
master teacher about each and every one
of you
I found out Joe that you’re a skilled
musician and that one day you want to be
a conductor and I was thrilled and I
couldn’t wait to be your teacher I truly
truly apologize Joe if you felt that I
was not asking you any questions I
apologize from the bottom of my heart
Joe’s mother stared at me
she couldn’t believe it she thought I
was going to get all upset about what
she had said about me she thought that I
was going to get angry about what Joe
had come home and told her I began to
ask his mother questions questions about
the family questions about their friends
and their hobbies I remember learning a
lesson then that I don’t think my mom
and dad had taught me yet let your
curiosity be matched with your
compassion I could have gotten all angry
I could have been mean to Joe and his
mom based on what they said but instead
I began to ask them questions like mrs.
de Mertz had done me and I began to
learn even more about Joe and his family
than I already knew as educators we
often speak to students about curiosity
being at the edge of innovation you’ve
learned all about the great inventors
whether it’s Albert Einstein or George
Washington Carver all of those
individuals were incredibly curious and
that curiosity led to some of the
wonderful innovation that we have now
but curiosity can also be a
great relationship starter and builder
curiosity leads to understanding serving
as a cure for anxiety as long as you
give everyone an a until they earn an F
as you always give people the benefit of
the doubt
and you let your curiosity be matched
with compassion in closing boys and
girls let me say a couple of things one
as I think about the lessons I learned
in sixth grade
actually they were lessons that my
mother and father had taught me there
are so many lines and things that your
mom and dad might say that they won’t
become reality until later when you
learn a little bit more about what they
actually were trying to say
are you experiencing something that
helps you there’s another thing that
curiosity can cure and that is the
person who gets on your last nerve does
anybody have one of those it could be
the bully in the classroom it could be
your best friend sometimes curiosity can
cure those things all you have to do is
step back and think about not yourself
but the other person I actually was a
very tiny sixth grader I wore a 13 baby
shoe super little and I could have been
the subject for many many bullies in
fact I was initially but in sixth grade
I learned how to get close to the
bullies and ask them questions that
allowed me to build relationships with
them and eventually I learned that that
helps me even an adulthood it helps me I
hope that something I’ve said has
stimulated today I’m so thankful that
you all were my audience today and I ask
you to certainly hopefully take
something that I’ve said and build
relationships and be successful in your
own lives thank you so much for the
opportunity to share with you you were a
powerful and dynamic audience
thank you so much
[Applause]
you
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