[Music]
hi I’m Lynn Franklin I have one question
for you how would you like to be a mind
reader because part of these thinking I
bet your minds thinking that’s not gonna
happen
here’s the truth people’s brains process
information they think in three
different ways and their body language
will tell you all day long what their
primary style is you just need to know
what to look for and what to do when you
see it and it’s not one of those were
she’s leaning back her arms across she’s
frowning so she must be unhappy it’s
actually understanding how their brains
work and then presenting your
information in a way that people can see
it hear it and feel it and increase the
chances that they’ll say yes to whatever
you’re proposing and also decrease the
chances that you’ll do something stupid
like this back in my 20s before I knew
any of this stuff I had a client who was
a corporate controller and he would sit
across from me in meetings and he was
always looking down with the occasional
glance up and I thought okay well he’s a
numbers guy he just feels comfortable
looking at the numbers and then his time
went on I thought well you know he’s
just socially inept and he doesn’t know
how to give me eye contact and finally
because I was young and stupid I thought
every time he’s looking up he’s looking
at my chest and I’m offended and there
was one point I actually went a meeting
what excuse me I’m up here ooh yeah talk
about judgmental here’s the scoop this
guy’s brain worked in a way that he was
never gonna give me eye contact and no
matter how many times I modeled the
behavior I wanted him to use all that
did was make both of us feel
uncomfortable so how can you tell how
can you read people’s body language to
read your minds we’re gonna show you
right now and that means I’m gonna bring
out our first body language
James thank you James James represents
75% of the world you didn’t know this
about James but James is a looker what
that means is that James’s brain thinks
in pictures and images in pictures and
images and here’s how we can tell that
James is a looker from his body language
first thing he stands up tall he has
good posture second he’s dressed well
because appearance is important to
lookers the next thing you’ll notice
about James is that he holds a little
stress in his shoulders lift up your
shoulders a little bit yeah keeps his
oldest stress there next thing you’ll
notice he has wrinkles in his forehead
because James looks up when he remembers
something he has seen and he looks up
more often than most of us do next thing
you notice about James is that he has
thin lips I come in
and you know this is a chicken and egg
thing we’re not quite sure why lookers
have thin lips but most of them do and
the other thing about lookers is they
give you lots of eye contact look at him
look at him look at him all of them look
at all of them thanks James
okay now that you know that James is a
looker here are the two things you do to
build rapport with him the first is that
you give him lots of eye contact because
he literally believes if you do not look
at him you are not paying attention to
him and you are ignoring him the second
thing you do with lookers is you give
them words that have a visual component
to it I see what you mean or look at
this or let’s picture working together
this way so you use the type of language
that is going on in James’s brain those
are lookers 75% of people in the world
our next body language model is Marge
and Marge represents 20 percent of the
people in the world
Marge is a listener what this means is
that Marge’s brain thinks in words and
sounds in words and sounds and this is
the body language that you will see in a
listener first Marge not as well dressed
as James because appearance is not as
important to her sorry Marge next Marge
has a tendency to look down into the
left because that’s where you look when
you are remembering something you have
heard next thing you notice about Marge
is that a lot of times she’ll put her
head in her hand
it’s called telephone posture other
things you’ll notice about Marge is that
she has a tendency to mumble to herself
go ahead mumble and it’s not that she’s
crazy
it’s that she thinks in words and sounds
so she’s literally talking to herself
another thing to notice about Marge yep
she’s the pen clicker and the Banger on
the pen on the table
these are listeners twenty five twenty
percent of the people in the world
thanks Marge
you want to appeal to listeners you do
two things first thing you do not give
them lots of eye contact it freaks them
out that’s exactly what was going on
with that corporate controller so what
you do is with them when they’re
speaking you look at them and then you
look away and when you’re speaking you
look at them and then look away the
second thing you do with listeners is
that you use words that are auditory
that sounds good to me
or let’s talk this over that’s the type
of language their brain uses so you’re
using that to appeal with them listeners
20% of the people in the world and our
final body language model is marina and
marina represents 5% of the people in
the world give a round of applause
marina is a toucher not what you think
what that means is that marinas brain
thinks in feelings and tactile 8in
feelings and tactically and here’s the
kind of length body language you will
see in a toucher first thing and the
biggest talent touches is whether or not
they’ve ever met you before in their
lives they are ready to hug you second
thing you’ll notice about touchiers is
that they are dressed for comfort rather
than style next thing is that they have
full lip skin big lips
same thing I I know it’s they more
touches have full lips next thing you’ll
notice about touches is that they have a
tendency to lean in because they are
trying to decrease the amount of
physical space between you and them and
build rapport that way touches also have
a tendency to reach out and touch your
arm and when they’re in conversation
with you and touches also have a
tendency to look down because that’s
where you look when you’re remembering
something you have felt thanks marina
all right you want to build rapport with
touches 5% of the people in the world
here are the two things you do if you
feel comfortable let them touch you
appropriately please but if you don’t
feel comfortable because a lot of us if
you’ve never met somebody before and
they’re ready to give you a bear hug you
know the last thing you want to do is go
because we’ve all done that and it does
not build rapport so if a toucher is
coming at you and you don’t feel
comfortable to stick your hand out give
these people a point of contact with you
that’s what they’re looking for the
second thing you do with touches is you
use language that either has a feeling
to it or is tactile so I want to hear
how you’re feeling about this let’s get
in touch reach out and tell me what you
think that’s the kind of language that
appeals to touches people who process
information in feelings and tactile ate
so I’m gonna read your mind again and
you’re probably thinking so which one of
these three am I let’s figure that out
right now what I want you to do is close
your eyes and remember an important
memory now this could be something from
your childhood maybe your 10th birthday
party it could be something that
happened to you last week so an
important memory now I want you to pay
attention to how you’re remembering it
are you remembering it like a movie or a
series of pictures and images are you
remembering it by hearing what people
said or describing what happened or are
you remembering it how you felt or how
things felt to you okay open up your
eyes how many
remembered it like a movie right most of
you how many of you are describing it to
yourself remembering what people said
right listeners and finally how many of
you remember how you felt or how things
felt to you right now you know who you
are that’s the good news
here’s the bad news you’re gonna treat
everybody else as though they think the
same way and you’ve already seen how
awful that can be when you’re working
with a corporate controller who has a
different way of thinking here’s my
invitation to you I want you to start
paying attention to other people’s body
language to figure out how they think
because here’s the magic part of it once
you start presenting your ideas in a way
that they get them they will say yes to
you more often but here’s the scoop –
I’m not asking you to become somebody
else because you can’t change how your
brain works it’s true you think in all
three ways but just the way you have a
dominant hand you have a dominant style
you can’t change that
but what you can do is accommodate your
language both body and verbal with the
people you’re with in order to build
rapport which allows you to reach the
full spectrum of people that you’re
hanging out with and here’s the other
magic thing you don’t even have to be in
somebody’s presence to figure out how
their brains were interested right all
you need to do is listen to or look at
the words they’re using so if you’re in
a phone conversation listen for the
words if you’re reading an email look at
the words people who are look or visual
language people who are listeners will
use more auditory words and people who
are touches will use more feeling and
kinesthetic words you don’t have to be
in that same space to know where they
are so here’s my challenge to you go
back and read some of the emails that
you have sent and you will notice now
that you know who you are the kind of
language that you’re using and it’ll
back that up it happens with everybody
so 10 minutes ago you didn’t think you
could read people’s body language to
read their minds and now you know what
to do so Pratt
the stuff on the people at home of the
people at work and when you do this and
when you use these tools to build
rapport with all kinds of different
people you’ll become the most persuasive
person in the room thank you
[Applause]
hi I’m Lynn Franklin I have one question
for you how would you like to be a mind
reader because part of these thinking I
bet your minds thinking that’s not gonna
happen
here’s the truth people’s brains process
information they think in three
different ways and their body language
will tell you all day long what their
primary style is you just need to know
what to look for and what to do when you
see it and it’s not one of those were
she’s leaning back her arms across she’s
frowning so she must be unhappy it’s
actually understanding how their brains
work and then presenting your
information in a way that people can see
it hear it and feel it and increase the
chances that they’ll say yes to whatever
you’re proposing and also decrease the
chances that you’ll do something stupid
like this back in my 20s before I knew
any of this stuff I had a client who was
a corporate controller and he would sit
across from me in meetings and he was
always looking down with the occasional
glance up and I thought okay well he’s a
numbers guy he just feels comfortable
looking at the numbers and then his time
went on I thought well you know he’s
just socially inept and he doesn’t know
how to give me eye contact and finally
because I was young and stupid I thought
every time he’s looking up he’s looking
at my chest and I’m offended and there
was one point I actually went a meeting
what excuse me I’m up here ooh yeah talk
about judgmental here’s the scoop this
guy’s brain worked in a way that he was
never gonna give me eye contact and no
matter how many times I modeled the
behavior I wanted him to use all that
did was make both of us feel
uncomfortable so how can you tell how
can you read people’s body language to
read your minds we’re gonna show you
right now and that means I’m gonna bring
out our first body language
James thank you James James represents
75% of the world you didn’t know this
about James but James is a looker what
that means is that James’s brain thinks
in pictures and images in pictures and
images and here’s how we can tell that
James is a looker from his body language
first thing he stands up tall he has
good posture second he’s dressed well
because appearance is important to
lookers the next thing you’ll notice
about James is that he holds a little
stress in his shoulders lift up your
shoulders a little bit yeah keeps his
oldest stress there next thing you’ll
notice he has wrinkles in his forehead
because James looks up when he remembers
something he has seen and he looks up
more often than most of us do next thing
you notice about James is that he has
thin lips I come in
and you know this is a chicken and egg
thing we’re not quite sure why lookers
have thin lips but most of them do and
the other thing about lookers is they
give you lots of eye contact look at him
look at him look at him all of them look
at all of them thanks James
okay now that you know that James is a
looker here are the two things you do to
build rapport with him the first is that
you give him lots of eye contact because
he literally believes if you do not look
at him you are not paying attention to
him and you are ignoring him the second
thing you do with lookers is you give
them words that have a visual component
to it I see what you mean or look at
this or let’s picture working together
this way so you use the type of language
that is going on in James’s brain those
are lookers 75% of people in the world
our next body language model is Marge
and Marge represents 20 percent of the
people in the world
Marge is a listener what this means is
that Marge’s brain thinks in words and
sounds in words and sounds and this is
the body language that you will see in a
listener first Marge not as well dressed
as James because appearance is not as
important to her sorry Marge next Marge
has a tendency to look down into the
left because that’s where you look when
you are remembering something you have
heard next thing you notice about Marge
is that a lot of times she’ll put her
head in her hand
it’s called telephone posture other
things you’ll notice about Marge is that
she has a tendency to mumble to herself
go ahead mumble and it’s not that she’s
crazy
it’s that she thinks in words and sounds
so she’s literally talking to herself
another thing to notice about Marge yep
she’s the pen clicker and the Banger on
the pen on the table
these are listeners twenty five twenty
percent of the people in the world
thanks Marge
you want to appeal to listeners you do
two things first thing you do not give
them lots of eye contact it freaks them
out that’s exactly what was going on
with that corporate controller so what
you do is with them when they’re
speaking you look at them and then you
look away and when you’re speaking you
look at them and then look away the
second thing you do with listeners is
that you use words that are auditory
that sounds good to me
or let’s talk this over that’s the type
of language their brain uses so you’re
using that to appeal with them listeners
20% of the people in the world and our
final body language model is marina and
marina represents 5% of the people in
the world give a round of applause
marina is a toucher not what you think
what that means is that marinas brain
thinks in feelings and tactile 8in
feelings and tactically and here’s the
kind of length body language you will
see in a toucher first thing and the
biggest talent touches is whether or not
they’ve ever met you before in their
lives they are ready to hug you second
thing you’ll notice about touchiers is
that they are dressed for comfort rather
than style next thing is that they have
full lip skin big lips
same thing I I know it’s they more
touches have full lips next thing you’ll
notice about touches is that they have a
tendency to lean in because they are
trying to decrease the amount of
physical space between you and them and
build rapport that way touches also have
a tendency to reach out and touch your
arm and when they’re in conversation
with you and touches also have a
tendency to look down because that’s
where you look when you’re remembering
something you have felt thanks marina
all right you want to build rapport with
touches 5% of the people in the world
here are the two things you do if you
feel comfortable let them touch you
appropriately please but if you don’t
feel comfortable because a lot of us if
you’ve never met somebody before and
they’re ready to give you a bear hug you
know the last thing you want to do is go
because we’ve all done that and it does
not build rapport so if a toucher is
coming at you and you don’t feel
comfortable to stick your hand out give
these people a point of contact with you
that’s what they’re looking for the
second thing you do with touches is you
use language that either has a feeling
to it or is tactile so I want to hear
how you’re feeling about this let’s get
in touch reach out and tell me what you
think that’s the kind of language that
appeals to touches people who process
information in feelings and tactile ate
so I’m gonna read your mind again and
you’re probably thinking so which one of
these three am I let’s figure that out
right now what I want you to do is close
your eyes and remember an important
memory now this could be something from
your childhood maybe your 10th birthday
party it could be something that
happened to you last week so an
important memory now I want you to pay
attention to how you’re remembering it
are you remembering it like a movie or a
series of pictures and images are you
remembering it by hearing what people
said or describing what happened or are
you remembering it how you felt or how
things felt to you okay open up your
eyes how many
remembered it like a movie right most of
you how many of you are describing it to
yourself remembering what people said
right listeners and finally how many of
you remember how you felt or how things
felt to you right now you know who you
are that’s the good news
here’s the bad news you’re gonna treat
everybody else as though they think the
same way and you’ve already seen how
awful that can be when you’re working
with a corporate controller who has a
different way of thinking here’s my
invitation to you I want you to start
paying attention to other people’s body
language to figure out how they think
because here’s the magic part of it once
you start presenting your ideas in a way
that they get them they will say yes to
you more often but here’s the scoop –
I’m not asking you to become somebody
else because you can’t change how your
brain works it’s true you think in all
three ways but just the way you have a
dominant hand you have a dominant style
you can’t change that
but what you can do is accommodate your
language both body and verbal with the
people you’re with in order to build
rapport which allows you to reach the
full spectrum of people that you’re
hanging out with and here’s the other
magic thing you don’t even have to be in
somebody’s presence to figure out how
their brains were interested right all
you need to do is listen to or look at
the words they’re using so if you’re in
a phone conversation listen for the
words if you’re reading an email look at
the words people who are look or visual
language people who are listeners will
use more auditory words and people who
are touches will use more feeling and
kinesthetic words you don’t have to be
in that same space to know where they
are so here’s my challenge to you go
back and read some of the emails that
you have sent and you will notice now
that you know who you are the kind of
language that you’re using and it’ll
back that up it happens with everybody
so 10 minutes ago you didn’t think you
could read people’s body language to
read their minds and now you know what
to do so Pratt
the stuff on the people at home of the
people at work and when you do this and
when you use these tools to build
rapport with all kinds of different
people you’ll become the most persuasive
person in the room thank you
[Applause]
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