a very good morning to all of you who
are here and a big big thank you to all
the organizers who have spent so much
time and effort to get us here I am here
all the way from Mumbai and yes I’m a
practicing psychiatrist for the last 27
years and I’m here to share a little
journey with you in June of 2017 on a
rainy evening a family went out to
dinner after they had finished dinner
the young boy 25 year old decided to
drop his family back and told his
parents that I’m just going to meet my
friends I’m going for a drive and I’ll
be back in half an hour and what did he
do he takes a taxi goes to the Mumbai
ceiling the volley ceiling that I’m sure
all of you have been at some stage and
decides to jump off the next day the
family is looking for him whatsapp
social media is full of people looking
for him finding him friends are being
contacted and yes
the cops drag his body out I’m here to
talk to you about suicide something that
is a reality today every three seconds
someone thinks of taking their life
unfortunately every 40 seconds someone
succeeds a total of reported 8 lakh
suicides every year and the unfortunate
truth is that one-third of them are from
India why is it that people do this what
happens to them have you become weak
have you become
sissies is it that we don’t want to face
life any
go do we want to take the easy route out
just near the ceiling there is there was
another boy who checked into the hotel a
five-star hotel and started live
messaging on messenger facebook
messenger telling his friends how he was
fed up of life and was going to take the
final plunge of course his friends
thought he was joking why would he want
to kill himself he was 24 he had his
full life ahead of him and yet he
decided to jump out to break open a
window and jump out of that door every
40 seconds and the unfortunate part is
that most of these people belong to this
age group of 15 to 29 when life is so
rosy you have all the opportunities in
front of them and yes so much is done to
combat terrorism in our world today but
who is going to save you from yourselves
why is it that some people can go on
struggling and you know keep on taking
challenges and why is it that there are
those who cannot even live within
themselves what makes them different who
are these people
yes most of them are youngsters
teenagers India has the highest number
of teenagers killing themselves in the
world is it only teenagers no igv a
trick population our elderly population
is also very close there are close
number too and then we’ve all heard of
farmer suicides but let me tell you
housewives commit suicide six times more
than farmers can children ever think of
killing themselves I have seen a
six-year-old who fooled a lot of people
telling them that you know she had
actually climbed up and taken her
mother’s antiepileptic pills and taken
an overdose of that and told everybody
that oh I thought they were sweets and I
have taken this and I as I sat with her
in a session of play therapy she told me
she shared with me as to how unloved she
felt because she thought the mother
loved her elder brother because there
was a glass of milk which was given to
the elder brother and she did not get
any milk every day where are these
people they are amongst us you look
around and they are amongst us
one out of every five teenagers is
reported by the whu-oh to be suffering
from depression but do they come up to
us and tell us that they are depressed
of course not because the minute they
will come up to you and tell you that
you know I’m feeling depressed without
without even listening to them we will
start telling them about why they should
not be depressed nobody is allowed to
feel depressed in our country if I see
youngsters who bring their friends to
meet me and say that you know I wanted
to come and see you because I thought
this is an illness but my parents and my
teachers won’t agree that is because the
stigma of visiting a psychiatrist in our
country are you mad are you mad you want
to see a psychiatrist no no no no you’re
perfectly fine come on just study hard
and it will all go away and what happens
to this youngster one day yes the
helplessness the hopelessness the
worthlessness of his life looms larger
it’s like that as if there’s something
stuck in your throat it won’t go down
and it won’t come out and then you take
the final plunge you decide that life is
not worth living any longer and try to
kill yourself
what do you see next well if you are
successful there is no next but if you
are not successful you will see a family
doctor telling you how shameful it is to
try and kill yourself about how you’re
going to spoil the family name your
parents are looking at you angrily
telling you come on come on if you did
not want to study you should’ve just
told us this do you know how much this
has cost the family and yes and then
there are people you know we all have
free advisers in our country who will
come and tell you that why don’t you
take him for a holiday you know she is
just stressed out and you know these
kids take so much stress and no one
understands that you could be suffering
just as you suffer from a physical
illness you could just be suffering from
a depression or schizophrenia or anxiety
disorder or anything else are these the
only causes of suicide
no but literature shows us that two out
of three people who are trying to kill
themselves are depressed and what is
even worse is that a lot of them are
intoxicated at that time one study
showed me that 75 percent of people who
were trying to kill themselves were
under in under the influence of alcohol
and this is something that we are facing
but there are so many myths about
suicide which are going around in our
country the religious don’t try to kill
themselves if you’re mentally brave you
won’t kill yourself and the worst one is
people who talk about suicide will not
attempt it very far from the truth in
fact people who kill themselves have
spoken at least seven out of ten people
have given clear-cut indications to
others and they are telling them that I
want to kill myself but why are they
telling them that because they actually
want to be saved they do not want to
kill themselves then there are those who
feel that oh if he’s talking about
killing himself what can I do anyway
he’s going to go and do it that’s not
true they want you to listen to them
they want you to listen to what they are
saying and more than that what they are
not saying so where are these people
some of them are sitting in the house
is locked up cooped up while their
friends are all around and their only
contact with the world unfortunately his
social media what do they see everyone’s
having great lives and they are going
through something horrible some of them
are confused with their own sexuality
they do not understand what is happening
to them they may they wonder whether
they are homosexual or whether they are
bisexual and they do not even know who
they can talk to so they remain cooped
up there they do not like their bodies
and they’re struggling with body image
issues and they said they’re right there
wondering what is to be done their
parents try to reach out to them parents
love their kids they want to reach out
to them but what happens is that in
teenagers depression can sometimes be
expressed as anger or refusal to do
anything so these are the kids who will
not have their but who will not eat and
they will not want to communicate with
anyone else and of course their grades
start falling and then there are those
who go out there and try to tell people
that they do not want to live and how do
they say it they just say that oh you
know by my next birthday you won’t see
me here or you know it was great to know
you or suddenly they’ll come and give
you a little gift or if you look at
elderly people they might just want to
wrap up all their businesses you know of
course our country has also seen
financial stress and the number of
suicides where that has also increased
so this is actually an epidemic which is
here and the best part about this is
that no I do not require millions of
rupees to be spent
anyone can make a difference each one of
you sitting here can make a difference
by just paying attention to these signs
as doctors you know whenever baby is
born there’s so much joy there’s so much
rejoicing but 10% of these women go
through depression and hardly
any inquiry about their mental health so
what happens to this new mother she
starts feeling inadequate she doesn’t
know what to do and we read the
newspapers
a young lady jumps out with her child
that was just a postpartum depression or
psychosis which was not looked at the
lady gave us enough signals but we did
not pick it up because nobody talks
about suicide at any young death you go
there and people will discuss how
cardiac illnesses have increased and and
then in hushed whispers somebody will
say do you think he killed himself
why hushed whispers why do we even use
the word committing suicide yes suicide
was a crime now it has been
decriminalized and that is something
that each one of us can help now how can
we help we can help by just listening to
the person if somebody talks about
killing themselves what do we do we get
uncomfortable because we don’t know how
to deal with them and we change the
topic
but just imagine if I had to have a
heart attack right here right now what
would you do you would just leave
everything else and rush me to the
hospital
but if somebody talks about killing
themselves just because we are
uncomfortable we say oh let’s talk about
something else you know life is so
beautiful and all of this and we change
the topic and then we go back and either
gossip with our loved ones but that is
our own inadequacy but what can be done
is something so simple just leave
whatever you’re doing take the person to
a corner and address the issue and the
most important thing is to listen to
them to listen why to listen to what
they are saying why are you feeling like
this allow them to talk do not interrupt
give them a shoulder look into their
eyes and listen with your heart and give
the person the confidence that he or she
can talk to you that you are going to
listen to them and you are going to do
your best even though you’re not a
mental health professional you are going
to do your best to help them get to the
other side this could be over a party do
not leave the person alone ensure that
there is someone with them and make an
appointment with them and tell them to
come and meet you and understand why
they are feeling like this since when
are they feeling like this and yes you
may not have the answers I have seen
suicidal individuals who come to me and
say that you know I don’t want to live
and how can you change I have a debt of
X amount how can you change that for me
and I tell them I said yes you’re right
I cannot change your debt but maybe we
can sit and look at different options
because I definitely believe that death
is not the answer and when you listen
with your heart when you show them that
you care that you give them the
confidence that they can talk to you
that they can get over their
helplessness their hopelessness and
their worthlessness and yes what do you
do next you making a first of all you
convince them that they need to take
help there are a lot of mental health
specialists in our country today who are
willing to help them you help them fight
the stigma that it is smart to take help
just as you have malaria and dengue and
you take help for that the same way you
take help for mental illnesses and yes
you are not even sure if it’s an illness
or if it’s affairs of life but when you
go with them and you give them that
confidence and sit with them with the
doctor or with the psychiatrist or the
psychologist and
them and keep a watch on them at least
for the next three months this is
something that you should never swear
secrecy to because if someone is
suicidal you know you must involve the
family members but that does not mean
that tomorrow if your friend comes and
tells you that you know I want to kill
myself does not mean you that pick up
the phone and start calling everybody
else it just means that first when they
are comfortable then you take them to
the next step and tell them that okay
come on we need to involve your family
in this who do you trust there’s always
one person in your family or friends or
girl that we trust and with the help of
that person you must help them in the
recovery of their journey what are the
things that we do not do when someone is
suicidal we don’t leave them alone
we don’t gossip about them we don’t let
them down and yes take them to a safe
environment so you know there’s been a
lot of talk about oh let’s keep firearms
away in fact there was a you know there
was also something that people are
saying is we should get rid of fans of
course these things are not possible
keeping firearms away at that moment
helps so taking them away to a safe
place helps but at the same time what
really helps them is helping them to
reconsider a lot of us have felt
suicidal at some point or the other and
what did it take it took just one or two
caring individuals to put a hand on her
shoulder to comfort us to understand us
not to give us lectures to help us tide
over the crisis and today it is a
national crisis that we are talking
about our schools our doctors need to be
equipped our schools need counselors as
we do physical checkups
we need mental health checkups
in every company in every school in
every college we need to identify those
who talk about being suicidal and then
those who do not talk about it
does everyone suffer from a depression
no there could be those who are
suffering with personality disorders
we’ve all heard about the blue whale you
know there was so much excitement about
the blue whale and you know it’s as if
we need to blame someone else but I was
very happy with that because at least we
are addressing the problem today and
that is of suicide they walk amongst us
depression is so high one out of four
individuals is suffering from depression
but depression is invisible if you have
a fracture you can see it this is a
fracture of the mind we can all see it
if we open our eyes wide if we open our
hearts wide if our arms are wide enough
to gather them and lead them to help and
stay with them death is not the answer
suicide is a cry for help let’s help
them let’s get them to the other side
thank you so much
[Applause]
are here and a big big thank you to all
the organizers who have spent so much
time and effort to get us here I am here
all the way from Mumbai and yes I’m a
practicing psychiatrist for the last 27
years and I’m here to share a little
journey with you in June of 2017 on a
rainy evening a family went out to
dinner after they had finished dinner
the young boy 25 year old decided to
drop his family back and told his
parents that I’m just going to meet my
friends I’m going for a drive and I’ll
be back in half an hour and what did he
do he takes a taxi goes to the Mumbai
ceiling the volley ceiling that I’m sure
all of you have been at some stage and
decides to jump off the next day the
family is looking for him whatsapp
social media is full of people looking
for him finding him friends are being
contacted and yes
the cops drag his body out I’m here to
talk to you about suicide something that
is a reality today every three seconds
someone thinks of taking their life
unfortunately every 40 seconds someone
succeeds a total of reported 8 lakh
suicides every year and the unfortunate
truth is that one-third of them are from
India why is it that people do this what
happens to them have you become weak
have you become
sissies is it that we don’t want to face
life any
go do we want to take the easy route out
just near the ceiling there is there was
another boy who checked into the hotel a
five-star hotel and started live
messaging on messenger facebook
messenger telling his friends how he was
fed up of life and was going to take the
final plunge of course his friends
thought he was joking why would he want
to kill himself he was 24 he had his
full life ahead of him and yet he
decided to jump out to break open a
window and jump out of that door every
40 seconds and the unfortunate part is
that most of these people belong to this
age group of 15 to 29 when life is so
rosy you have all the opportunities in
front of them and yes so much is done to
combat terrorism in our world today but
who is going to save you from yourselves
why is it that some people can go on
struggling and you know keep on taking
challenges and why is it that there are
those who cannot even live within
themselves what makes them different who
are these people
yes most of them are youngsters
teenagers India has the highest number
of teenagers killing themselves in the
world is it only teenagers no igv a
trick population our elderly population
is also very close there are close
number too and then we’ve all heard of
farmer suicides but let me tell you
housewives commit suicide six times more
than farmers can children ever think of
killing themselves I have seen a
six-year-old who fooled a lot of people
telling them that you know she had
actually climbed up and taken her
mother’s antiepileptic pills and taken
an overdose of that and told everybody
that oh I thought they were sweets and I
have taken this and I as I sat with her
in a session of play therapy she told me
she shared with me as to how unloved she
felt because she thought the mother
loved her elder brother because there
was a glass of milk which was given to
the elder brother and she did not get
any milk every day where are these
people they are amongst us you look
around and they are amongst us
one out of every five teenagers is
reported by the whu-oh to be suffering
from depression but do they come up to
us and tell us that they are depressed
of course not because the minute they
will come up to you and tell you that
you know I’m feeling depressed without
without even listening to them we will
start telling them about why they should
not be depressed nobody is allowed to
feel depressed in our country if I see
youngsters who bring their friends to
meet me and say that you know I wanted
to come and see you because I thought
this is an illness but my parents and my
teachers won’t agree that is because the
stigma of visiting a psychiatrist in our
country are you mad are you mad you want
to see a psychiatrist no no no no you’re
perfectly fine come on just study hard
and it will all go away and what happens
to this youngster one day yes the
helplessness the hopelessness the
worthlessness of his life looms larger
it’s like that as if there’s something
stuck in your throat it won’t go down
and it won’t come out and then you take
the final plunge you decide that life is
not worth living any longer and try to
kill yourself
what do you see next well if you are
successful there is no next but if you
are not successful you will see a family
doctor telling you how shameful it is to
try and kill yourself about how you’re
going to spoil the family name your
parents are looking at you angrily
telling you come on come on if you did
not want to study you should’ve just
told us this do you know how much this
has cost the family and yes and then
there are people you know we all have
free advisers in our country who will
come and tell you that why don’t you
take him for a holiday you know she is
just stressed out and you know these
kids take so much stress and no one
understands that you could be suffering
just as you suffer from a physical
illness you could just be suffering from
a depression or schizophrenia or anxiety
disorder or anything else are these the
only causes of suicide
no but literature shows us that two out
of three people who are trying to kill
themselves are depressed and what is
even worse is that a lot of them are
intoxicated at that time one study
showed me that 75 percent of people who
were trying to kill themselves were
under in under the influence of alcohol
and this is something that we are facing
but there are so many myths about
suicide which are going around in our
country the religious don’t try to kill
themselves if you’re mentally brave you
won’t kill yourself and the worst one is
people who talk about suicide will not
attempt it very far from the truth in
fact people who kill themselves have
spoken at least seven out of ten people
have given clear-cut indications to
others and they are telling them that I
want to kill myself but why are they
telling them that because they actually
want to be saved they do not want to
kill themselves then there are those who
feel that oh if he’s talking about
killing himself what can I do anyway
he’s going to go and do it that’s not
true they want you to listen to them
they want you to listen to what they are
saying and more than that what they are
not saying so where are these people
some of them are sitting in the house
is locked up cooped up while their
friends are all around and their only
contact with the world unfortunately his
social media what do they see everyone’s
having great lives and they are going
through something horrible some of them
are confused with their own sexuality
they do not understand what is happening
to them they may they wonder whether
they are homosexual or whether they are
bisexual and they do not even know who
they can talk to so they remain cooped
up there they do not like their bodies
and they’re struggling with body image
issues and they said they’re right there
wondering what is to be done their
parents try to reach out to them parents
love their kids they want to reach out
to them but what happens is that in
teenagers depression can sometimes be
expressed as anger or refusal to do
anything so these are the kids who will
not have their but who will not eat and
they will not want to communicate with
anyone else and of course their grades
start falling and then there are those
who go out there and try to tell people
that they do not want to live and how do
they say it they just say that oh you
know by my next birthday you won’t see
me here or you know it was great to know
you or suddenly they’ll come and give
you a little gift or if you look at
elderly people they might just want to
wrap up all their businesses you know of
course our country has also seen
financial stress and the number of
suicides where that has also increased
so this is actually an epidemic which is
here and the best part about this is
that no I do not require millions of
rupees to be spent
anyone can make a difference each one of
you sitting here can make a difference
by just paying attention to these signs
as doctors you know whenever baby is
born there’s so much joy there’s so much
rejoicing but 10% of these women go
through depression and hardly
any inquiry about their mental health so
what happens to this new mother she
starts feeling inadequate she doesn’t
know what to do and we read the
newspapers
a young lady jumps out with her child
that was just a postpartum depression or
psychosis which was not looked at the
lady gave us enough signals but we did
not pick it up because nobody talks
about suicide at any young death you go
there and people will discuss how
cardiac illnesses have increased and and
then in hushed whispers somebody will
say do you think he killed himself
why hushed whispers why do we even use
the word committing suicide yes suicide
was a crime now it has been
decriminalized and that is something
that each one of us can help now how can
we help we can help by just listening to
the person if somebody talks about
killing themselves what do we do we get
uncomfortable because we don’t know how
to deal with them and we change the
topic
but just imagine if I had to have a
heart attack right here right now what
would you do you would just leave
everything else and rush me to the
hospital
but if somebody talks about killing
themselves just because we are
uncomfortable we say oh let’s talk about
something else you know life is so
beautiful and all of this and we change
the topic and then we go back and either
gossip with our loved ones but that is
our own inadequacy but what can be done
is something so simple just leave
whatever you’re doing take the person to
a corner and address the issue and the
most important thing is to listen to
them to listen why to listen to what
they are saying why are you feeling like
this allow them to talk do not interrupt
give them a shoulder look into their
eyes and listen with your heart and give
the person the confidence that he or she
can talk to you that you are going to
listen to them and you are going to do
your best even though you’re not a
mental health professional you are going
to do your best to help them get to the
other side this could be over a party do
not leave the person alone ensure that
there is someone with them and make an
appointment with them and tell them to
come and meet you and understand why
they are feeling like this since when
are they feeling like this and yes you
may not have the answers I have seen
suicidal individuals who come to me and
say that you know I don’t want to live
and how can you change I have a debt of
X amount how can you change that for me
and I tell them I said yes you’re right
I cannot change your debt but maybe we
can sit and look at different options
because I definitely believe that death
is not the answer and when you listen
with your heart when you show them that
you care that you give them the
confidence that they can talk to you
that they can get over their
helplessness their hopelessness and
their worthlessness and yes what do you
do next you making a first of all you
convince them that they need to take
help there are a lot of mental health
specialists in our country today who are
willing to help them you help them fight
the stigma that it is smart to take help
just as you have malaria and dengue and
you take help for that the same way you
take help for mental illnesses and yes
you are not even sure if it’s an illness
or if it’s affairs of life but when you
go with them and you give them that
confidence and sit with them with the
doctor or with the psychiatrist or the
psychologist and
them and keep a watch on them at least
for the next three months this is
something that you should never swear
secrecy to because if someone is
suicidal you know you must involve the
family members but that does not mean
that tomorrow if your friend comes and
tells you that you know I want to kill
myself does not mean you that pick up
the phone and start calling everybody
else it just means that first when they
are comfortable then you take them to
the next step and tell them that okay
come on we need to involve your family
in this who do you trust there’s always
one person in your family or friends or
girl that we trust and with the help of
that person you must help them in the
recovery of their journey what are the
things that we do not do when someone is
suicidal we don’t leave them alone
we don’t gossip about them we don’t let
them down and yes take them to a safe
environment so you know there’s been a
lot of talk about oh let’s keep firearms
away in fact there was a you know there
was also something that people are
saying is we should get rid of fans of
course these things are not possible
keeping firearms away at that moment
helps so taking them away to a safe
place helps but at the same time what
really helps them is helping them to
reconsider a lot of us have felt
suicidal at some point or the other and
what did it take it took just one or two
caring individuals to put a hand on her
shoulder to comfort us to understand us
not to give us lectures to help us tide
over the crisis and today it is a
national crisis that we are talking
about our schools our doctors need to be
equipped our schools need counselors as
we do physical checkups
we need mental health checkups
in every company in every school in
every college we need to identify those
who talk about being suicidal and then
those who do not talk about it
does everyone suffer from a depression
no there could be those who are
suffering with personality disorders
we’ve all heard about the blue whale you
know there was so much excitement about
the blue whale and you know it’s as if
we need to blame someone else but I was
very happy with that because at least we
are addressing the problem today and
that is of suicide they walk amongst us
depression is so high one out of four
individuals is suffering from depression
but depression is invisible if you have
a fracture you can see it this is a
fracture of the mind we can all see it
if we open our eyes wide if we open our
hearts wide if our arms are wide enough
to gather them and lead them to help and
stay with them death is not the answer
suicide is a cry for help let’s help
them let’s get them to the other side
thank you so much
[Applause]
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