there’s a very famous story about a
psychiatrist who wants to understand why
is it that psychiatrists live such
crappy lives they know so much about the
brain in the mind but they seem to have
one of the highest rates of divorce one
of the highest rates of substance abuse
and one of the highest rates of suicide
something’s not quite right so this
psychiatrist does all this research and
he goes all across the world to find out
which group of people amongst doctors
lawyers nurses who the people that have
the best lives after all his research he
finds out the group of people that
really have the best lives among some
nuns so he finds his Zen monk in Japan
fries all the way down and starts to to
listen to him and the monks giving a
lecture
the psychiatrist sits down the first
hour goes the monk totally ignores the
psychiatrist the second now goes the
monk totally ignores a psychiatrist the
third hour goes the monk Toth ignores a
psychiatrist by the end of the third
hour the psychiatrist is severely pissed
off and just can’t take it anymore
and he says in his loudest voice excuse
me
don’t you know I am I’m the head of the
Psychiatric Association and I’m here to
understand why is that the do monks and
nuns are so happy all the time and our
psychiatrist lives such crappy lives
doesn’t say a word quietly walks up to
the psychiatrist in front of the
psychiatrist is a jug of water he starts
to pour starts to pour star support
keeps on a pouring the psychiatrist goes
whoa whoa it’s too full nothing’s gonna
go in monk speaks for the first time he
says you’re right no matter how good my
stuff is you are too full what I find is
life is that sometimes we get too
forward we think we know everything then
something comes around and empties us
out for some people you know it’s an
amazing job hot love
and guess what you get fired for some
people it’s that you know you find your
soul partner in love and then you get a
text where somebody changes their
Facebook profile for some people it’s
that routine health check-up that you go
for you know a little lump on the side
of your neck and guess what
it’s not that routine my belief is what
happens next is what resilience is about
my belief is what happens next is what
leadership is about some people feel
this void in their life and they fill it
up with alcohol you know what I mean
some people fill it up with food there’s
all these emotions they need to deal
with but they eat and I push them deep
down inside some people choose work
I call it workaholic chocoholic
alcoholic it doesn’t matter what your
poison is it’s not resilience so let me
tell you a little about myself I was
born in India in a place called a psalm
I came to Australia when I was 4 years
old I was a dorky Indian kid with no
friends you can go ah thank you it was
kind of tough
until I discovered a game karate Union
and when you get good at Rugby in
Australia you get really popular by the
way Indians don’t play rugby we play
cricket
can’t stand cricket so I said I play to
the rep rep team and so my parents saw
me going from this dorky Indian kid
to this rugby hungry girl hungry fiend
and at the age of 13 they had a bright
idea and they thought they’d send me to
an ashram back in India to be a monk it
wasn’t funny
so for the next seven years I was a monk
and I came back to Australia when I was
19 I did an honours degree in economics
at in the mba joined a company called
McKinsey & Company which is a management
consulting house I was a diplomat for
Australia they used to call me the
coconut have you heard this brown on the
outside white on the inside heard of
that I was the head of strategy for am
peace in George bank I thought it’s
really smart I start my own venture
cattle business life was great you’re
gonna find this a little bit weird but I
was a little bit full of myself I know
it’s gonna weird but I was until I had
my empty heart experience and for me it
was the death of my first daughter and
when she died everything changed and it
changed in an instant and what I what my
life was about before was never the same
again and I struggled I struggled with
depression I struggled just trying to
get out of bed I could have easily
become an alcoholic I could have easily
become a drug addict I could’ve easily
become homeless and I struggled and I
was so lucky that in my past I had
something behind me and to get out of
that depth of depression I went back to
I’m a nasty cranny and that pulled me
out the other thing that pulled me out
was finding something that I believed in
finding my calling and for me that’s the
prevention of youth suicide and I’m
deeply involved in that I work in an
organization called
re okay if you were if you haven’t heard
of it please do so what I find is that
working with many many organizations I
find the people are struggling and
they’re struggling in three levels and I
called them me the
we in the it the me is the person level
the we is the people they love their
family and the it is their career or the
money so what I find is that a lot of
people in organizations are depleted
their absolutely exhausted you go up to
anybody say hire them are really busy
really nobody goes our young chilling um
it just exhausted all the time then
people are feeling disconnected I cannot
tell you how many people I know that are
struggling in their relationships
because they just can’t make it work
because of the intensity of work and
lastly they disengaged one of the
biggest challenges in organizations
today’s disengagement people just don’t
want to be there so why should this
bother you does really affect you well I
think it should the reason for this is
this is that of the hundred economic
entities in 2016
thirty-one were countries the other
sixty nine were companies these
companies have a disproportionate impact
on the world that we live in
let’s take Walmart for example if you
look at Walmart’s revenue and compare
that with GDP Walmart’s revenue is
bigger than the total Australian GDP
it’s double that of Switzerland that’s
kind of interesting and why is it
interesting is because we’ve got some
serious challenges ahead of us be it
with global warming and these companies
can help mr. Trump didn’t want to sign
the Paris agreement but in one way it
doesn’t matter because all these large
organizations with the stroke of a pen
can adhere to the carbon targets if you
look at environmental degradation it
kind of sucks
but once again there is a process that’s
away from the legislative process away
from governments there are companies
that don’t have to worry about getting
reelected here’s the deal Walmart if
you’re listening or Woolworths or Coles
you can decide to ban past
bags overnight how cool would that be
Walmart Woolworths Kohl’s if you’re
listening ban the bag but it’s really
funny you know we really struggled that
they have so much power but we have a
huge problem we have a huge problem with
these organizations and it is this the
problem we have is fear people that are
working organizations incredibly fearful
they call it stressed they’re stressed
out of their freaking head and one of
the reasons for this is organizations
have adopted opted what I call a a war
model of business they think that
business is like going to war and it’s
scary and it’s coming out in their
language and language is really
important because it determines the
metaphor that people use to live and to
work let me give you some examples
here’s the first example I hear this all
the time all Kamal we need to get our
message out to the troops then our
troops troops have army fatigue and
machine guns
these people have suits and ties and
blouses and skirts why would you call
them troops
it’s warlike approach to business and we
have paid a terrible price here’s
another one
people use the word deadline why him oh
we have got a wellness program for our
people but they have to meet their
deadlines but what the words got dead in
it would you use the word deadline if
you don’t want people to be stressed I
think there’s a shift happening and the
shift is it we have to move from the art
of war now this book was really big in
the nineteen eighties 1990s ladies
gentlemen the world’s moved on we can’t
afford to fight this war the war on what
drugs terrorism wars don’t work what we
need to do is we need to go from Sun Tzu
to Lao Tzu Lao Tzu wrote a book and if
you haven’t read it please do it’s about
the way it’s about how we flow through
life not power through life now there is
a solution there is a solution and this
solution is what I call the three-step
approach around the me the we indeed the
first one is you need to create mental
clarity in organizations I’ve not met
somebody who wants to screw up the
environment I haven’t met somebody that
wants to put kids in sweatshops they
need to have the mental clarity to to
make sure that they can actually act
upon their values rather than noise
that’s going around number two is they
need to feel connected people need to
invest in connection here’s the thing go
most people are giving their worst
energy to the people who will come to
their funeral I’ll repeat that most
people are giving their worst energy to
the people who will come to the funeral
let me tell you what I mean imagine this
scenario I’ve come home hi honey hi kids
who tired I’m exhausted with you so far
yeah then the client calls ring ring oh
hey how you doing how come you could
give them your best energy but not us if
you want to stay connected to the most
important people in the world make sure
you give your best energy to the people
who come to your funeral if you know I
can predict your life I know how amazing
your life will be if you’re giving your
best energy to the people come to your
funeral your relationships will flourish
if you’re giving your worst energy to
the people who come to your funeral it’s
gonna crashing back and lastly you need
to create congruence you need to make
sure that the me the way in the it are
pulling in the same direction I want you
to focus on your calling figure out what
your calling is try and understand what
is it that keeps you up at night
so from the me the way in there we need
to go from being depleted to clarity
from the we from disconnected to
connected and lastly from disengaged to
congruent
let me finish up on a story that’s
really changed my life because I think
as we look at the world ahead of us
we need to make sure that we’re
resilient our organizations are
resilient
our people are resilient because we’ve
got some serious challenges ahead of us
this story happened in the Vietnam War
it was there was a battle that was being
waged for three days between the
Vietcong American GIs we call these
people
the Vietcong but who were they really
there were mums and dads teachers
lawyers accountants just like you and I
we call these people American GIs but
who were there really what was the
average age 19 years old imagine where
you were when you were 19 years old
these kids were in a battle ground into
this scene came six monks they weren’t
wearing army fatigues they weren’t
wearing guns they had the one thing and
that was their begging balls an act of
humility a sign of humility what they
did is they started to walk across this
battlefield
what happened next was amazing in the
words of David Bush the American GI who
recounted the story he said the war
stopped the battle stopped I couldn’t
understand why I’d want to shoot at
another human being but I didn’t know
ladies and gentlemen there are Wars
happening for some of you it’s happening
within yourself with your food with your
alcohol for some people it’s happening
in your relationships with your partner
your kids your parents for some of you
it’s with your careers and what you want
to do in life my request to you is very
simple go home
try not to declare war declare peace
[Applause]
psychiatrist who wants to understand why
is it that psychiatrists live such
crappy lives they know so much about the
brain in the mind but they seem to have
one of the highest rates of divorce one
of the highest rates of substance abuse
and one of the highest rates of suicide
something’s not quite right so this
psychiatrist does all this research and
he goes all across the world to find out
which group of people amongst doctors
lawyers nurses who the people that have
the best lives after all his research he
finds out the group of people that
really have the best lives among some
nuns so he finds his Zen monk in Japan
fries all the way down and starts to to
listen to him and the monks giving a
lecture
the psychiatrist sits down the first
hour goes the monk totally ignores the
psychiatrist the second now goes the
monk totally ignores a psychiatrist the
third hour goes the monk Toth ignores a
psychiatrist by the end of the third
hour the psychiatrist is severely pissed
off and just can’t take it anymore
and he says in his loudest voice excuse
me
don’t you know I am I’m the head of the
Psychiatric Association and I’m here to
understand why is that the do monks and
nuns are so happy all the time and our
psychiatrist lives such crappy lives
doesn’t say a word quietly walks up to
the psychiatrist in front of the
psychiatrist is a jug of water he starts
to pour starts to pour star support
keeps on a pouring the psychiatrist goes
whoa whoa it’s too full nothing’s gonna
go in monk speaks for the first time he
says you’re right no matter how good my
stuff is you are too full what I find is
life is that sometimes we get too
forward we think we know everything then
something comes around and empties us
out for some people you know it’s an
amazing job hot love
and guess what you get fired for some
people it’s that you know you find your
soul partner in love and then you get a
text where somebody changes their
Facebook profile for some people it’s
that routine health check-up that you go
for you know a little lump on the side
of your neck and guess what
it’s not that routine my belief is what
happens next is what resilience is about
my belief is what happens next is what
leadership is about some people feel
this void in their life and they fill it
up with alcohol you know what I mean
some people fill it up with food there’s
all these emotions they need to deal
with but they eat and I push them deep
down inside some people choose work
I call it workaholic chocoholic
alcoholic it doesn’t matter what your
poison is it’s not resilience so let me
tell you a little about myself I was
born in India in a place called a psalm
I came to Australia when I was 4 years
old I was a dorky Indian kid with no
friends you can go ah thank you it was
kind of tough
until I discovered a game karate Union
and when you get good at Rugby in
Australia you get really popular by the
way Indians don’t play rugby we play
cricket
can’t stand cricket so I said I play to
the rep rep team and so my parents saw
me going from this dorky Indian kid
to this rugby hungry girl hungry fiend
and at the age of 13 they had a bright
idea and they thought they’d send me to
an ashram back in India to be a monk it
wasn’t funny
so for the next seven years I was a monk
and I came back to Australia when I was
19 I did an honours degree in economics
at in the mba joined a company called
McKinsey & Company which is a management
consulting house I was a diplomat for
Australia they used to call me the
coconut have you heard this brown on the
outside white on the inside heard of
that I was the head of strategy for am
peace in George bank I thought it’s
really smart I start my own venture
cattle business life was great you’re
gonna find this a little bit weird but I
was a little bit full of myself I know
it’s gonna weird but I was until I had
my empty heart experience and for me it
was the death of my first daughter and
when she died everything changed and it
changed in an instant and what I what my
life was about before was never the same
again and I struggled I struggled with
depression I struggled just trying to
get out of bed I could have easily
become an alcoholic I could have easily
become a drug addict I could’ve easily
become homeless and I struggled and I
was so lucky that in my past I had
something behind me and to get out of
that depth of depression I went back to
I’m a nasty cranny and that pulled me
out the other thing that pulled me out
was finding something that I believed in
finding my calling and for me that’s the
prevention of youth suicide and I’m
deeply involved in that I work in an
organization called
re okay if you were if you haven’t heard
of it please do so what I find is that
working with many many organizations I
find the people are struggling and
they’re struggling in three levels and I
called them me the
we in the it the me is the person level
the we is the people they love their
family and the it is their career or the
money so what I find is that a lot of
people in organizations are depleted
their absolutely exhausted you go up to
anybody say hire them are really busy
really nobody goes our young chilling um
it just exhausted all the time then
people are feeling disconnected I cannot
tell you how many people I know that are
struggling in their relationships
because they just can’t make it work
because of the intensity of work and
lastly they disengaged one of the
biggest challenges in organizations
today’s disengagement people just don’t
want to be there so why should this
bother you does really affect you well I
think it should the reason for this is
this is that of the hundred economic
entities in 2016
thirty-one were countries the other
sixty nine were companies these
companies have a disproportionate impact
on the world that we live in
let’s take Walmart for example if you
look at Walmart’s revenue and compare
that with GDP Walmart’s revenue is
bigger than the total Australian GDP
it’s double that of Switzerland that’s
kind of interesting and why is it
interesting is because we’ve got some
serious challenges ahead of us be it
with global warming and these companies
can help mr. Trump didn’t want to sign
the Paris agreement but in one way it
doesn’t matter because all these large
organizations with the stroke of a pen
can adhere to the carbon targets if you
look at environmental degradation it
kind of sucks
but once again there is a process that’s
away from the legislative process away
from governments there are companies
that don’t have to worry about getting
reelected here’s the deal Walmart if
you’re listening or Woolworths or Coles
you can decide to ban past
bags overnight how cool would that be
Walmart Woolworths Kohl’s if you’re
listening ban the bag but it’s really
funny you know we really struggled that
they have so much power but we have a
huge problem we have a huge problem with
these organizations and it is this the
problem we have is fear people that are
working organizations incredibly fearful
they call it stressed they’re stressed
out of their freaking head and one of
the reasons for this is organizations
have adopted opted what I call a a war
model of business they think that
business is like going to war and it’s
scary and it’s coming out in their
language and language is really
important because it determines the
metaphor that people use to live and to
work let me give you some examples
here’s the first example I hear this all
the time all Kamal we need to get our
message out to the troops then our
troops troops have army fatigue and
machine guns
these people have suits and ties and
blouses and skirts why would you call
them troops
it’s warlike approach to business and we
have paid a terrible price here’s
another one
people use the word deadline why him oh
we have got a wellness program for our
people but they have to meet their
deadlines but what the words got dead in
it would you use the word deadline if
you don’t want people to be stressed I
think there’s a shift happening and the
shift is it we have to move from the art
of war now this book was really big in
the nineteen eighties 1990s ladies
gentlemen the world’s moved on we can’t
afford to fight this war the war on what
drugs terrorism wars don’t work what we
need to do is we need to go from Sun Tzu
to Lao Tzu Lao Tzu wrote a book and if
you haven’t read it please do it’s about
the way it’s about how we flow through
life not power through life now there is
a solution there is a solution and this
solution is what I call the three-step
approach around the me the we indeed the
first one is you need to create mental
clarity in organizations I’ve not met
somebody who wants to screw up the
environment I haven’t met somebody that
wants to put kids in sweatshops they
need to have the mental clarity to to
make sure that they can actually act
upon their values rather than noise
that’s going around number two is they
need to feel connected people need to
invest in connection here’s the thing go
most people are giving their worst
energy to the people who will come to
their funeral I’ll repeat that most
people are giving their worst energy to
the people who will come to the funeral
let me tell you what I mean imagine this
scenario I’ve come home hi honey hi kids
who tired I’m exhausted with you so far
yeah then the client calls ring ring oh
hey how you doing how come you could
give them your best energy but not us if
you want to stay connected to the most
important people in the world make sure
you give your best energy to the people
who come to your funeral if you know I
can predict your life I know how amazing
your life will be if you’re giving your
best energy to the people come to your
funeral your relationships will flourish
if you’re giving your worst energy to
the people who come to your funeral it’s
gonna crashing back and lastly you need
to create congruence you need to make
sure that the me the way in the it are
pulling in the same direction I want you
to focus on your calling figure out what
your calling is try and understand what
is it that keeps you up at night
so from the me the way in there we need
to go from being depleted to clarity
from the we from disconnected to
connected and lastly from disengaged to
congruent
let me finish up on a story that’s
really changed my life because I think
as we look at the world ahead of us
we need to make sure that we’re
resilient our organizations are
resilient
our people are resilient because we’ve
got some serious challenges ahead of us
this story happened in the Vietnam War
it was there was a battle that was being
waged for three days between the
Vietcong American GIs we call these
people
the Vietcong but who were they really
there were mums and dads teachers
lawyers accountants just like you and I
we call these people American GIs but
who were there really what was the
average age 19 years old imagine where
you were when you were 19 years old
these kids were in a battle ground into
this scene came six monks they weren’t
wearing army fatigues they weren’t
wearing guns they had the one thing and
that was their begging balls an act of
humility a sign of humility what they
did is they started to walk across this
battlefield
what happened next was amazing in the
words of David Bush the American GI who
recounted the story he said the war
stopped the battle stopped I couldn’t
understand why I’d want to shoot at
another human being but I didn’t know
ladies and gentlemen there are Wars
happening for some of you it’s happening
within yourself with your food with your
alcohol for some people it’s happening
in your relationships with your partner
your kids your parents for some of you
it’s with your careers and what you want
to do in life my request to you is very
simple go home
try not to declare war declare peace
[Applause]
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