[Music]
[Applause]
why do I have to be so strong why can’t
I just say that something is wrong I’ve
been waiting but my patience is fading I
need to put down this heavy guard my
life has been rough it’s left me scarred
I’ve been running I went as far as my
feet could take me now the ice is
breaking I’m afraid I can’t hold on I
need you to be my strength I don’t want
to be let down maybe that’s what I’m
afraid to let you in you see I’ve
convinced the world that I’m above
crying but I haven’t convinced death
that I’m above dying yes there’s a smile
on my face but you know everything you
know my insides are crying I can’t do
this myself I’m so sick and tired of
trying well hiya do I have to be so
strong everywhere I go I see his face
and I know that I’ve got to move on but
the sins of my past I’ve got me in its
grass my vision is shattered I’m
stepping on glass I can’t see through
this fog I want to be there for you but
I want to cry too so it’s what I’m
feeling really that wrong sometimes I
want to be weak and yet I always have to
be strong sometimes I want to be
softened yet I always have to be hard
sometimes I want to be held and yet I
always have to stand I want to be a
woman and not feel like I have to be a
woman and a man because I can’t why do I
have to be so strong I told him I put my
hopes on the shelf and I gave him up
myself what more must I do to prove that
I love you I’ve given him my best and
now I’m standing here broken trying to
give you what’s left and I feel like
everything is going wrong I thought I
was someone put together have my booty
shorts in the summer in the winter and
low-cut sweaters in the spring my back
sound in the fall not much more because
if I caught a giraffe I always have my
boos to keep me warm this season of my
life has got me real confused I know
he’s not treating me right and yet I’m
so afraid to say that I’m being abused
I’m walking around with deep cuts and
open wounds the truth be told I’ve got a
problem with rejection and although I’ve
learned that we Eastern neighbor a
number comes a brand new lesson I can
tell you most of my exes ended with a
head slash heartache and I really
thought they started off as a blessing
those temps they did fill voids in my
life they brought those shiny toys in my
life sometimes I reminisce about those
boys in my life and it’s kept me
distracted that’s why I’m asking why do
I have to be so strong I must I carry
the weight of the world on my shoulders
I’m a mother to my mate a sister to my
son and equal to my daughter and
everyone keeps telling me my priorities
are out of order at least I’m there it’s
more than what my mother was to me I
should have known that my life would be
worth nothing more than a couple of
suitcases a bag it’s considering what
hers used to be I am so tired of living
in this life feeling myself dying to
death I live in this life but I feel
myself dying a death over and over and
over again I have cried until it heard
and I’ve been on my knees I’ve lost
everything including my dignity
having the midst of a cry with loud
people loud music hard dancing drinks
passing still felt alone whether his
house my house our house I have yet to
have a home why tell me why I have to be
so strong why can’t you just take away
this hurt this pain in this shame
because I feel like I’ll never be good
enough I need a secret place to go a
place where no one can find me where the
enemies of my past are not constantly
lurking behind me I just want to have
freedom and joy and life and love and
you know I could go on and on but if
you’re Grenaa no the request at least
send someone in my past to say baby girl
you don’t have to be so strong you know
I love being a storyteller as a spoken
word artist I get the opportunity to
paint pictures with words I get to tell
my personal stories as well as the
stories of other people but it’s my
personal stories that give my voice
incredible value just like I believe
your stories give your voice incredible
value my stories
give me something to contribute to the
rest of the world and I believe your
stories give you something to contribute
to the rest of the world and here’s the
value of a unique story they’re always
100% unique and 100% on matched you know
we’re all here
having a very similar experience we’re
seeing the same things we’re hearing the
same things we’re smelling the same
things and yet we’re processing this
experience through the lens of our own
perspective so there’s no way for our
stories to be 100% the same in fact I
know if I asked everyone to write down
the story of this weekend I know they’d
all be a little bit different and
typically when an idea or an experience
or a product is unique one-of-a-kind
it’s inherently valuable and I find it
interesting because in our society we
tend to celebrate people who figured out
the value of their unique voice I love
music musicians have an ability to take
their instruments and tell stories
stories that are as unique as they are
as people
singers and songwriters the most
influential artists of our generations
and generations pass have all figured
out a way to tell their stories and we
love it we love when artists are
completely authentic and vulnerable and
we go on that journey with them every
time we press play we’ve even created
social media platforms that are
dedicated to the sole purpose of
allowing individuals like you and I the
opportunity to share our unique stories
and for some of us were on our phones
all day long clicking and liking stories
you walk into any bookstore and what
will you find books obviously and
authors who are all doing the same exact
thing they’re telling stories some of
those stories are fiction some of the
stories are nonfiction but here’s what I
know every single person young and Oh
everyone loves a great story and I know
I’ve accumulated some 17 million minutes
worth of stories it’s over 200,000 hours
and 12,000 days some people are doing
the math in their head and of course Ted
would never give me that much time to
share all of my stories but I have a ton
of them that I could share and I’m very
passionate about sharing my stories
today but the truth is I’ve not always
been this way you know for the first two
decades of my life I accumulated some
very interesting stories both of my
parents were addicted to drugs and they
made some pretty horrible decisions that
dramatically impacted my life was taken
away from my parents I was put into
foster care I’ve been
the adoption system I’m a survivor of
child sexual abuse I struggled with
identity confusion incredible bouts of
depression
I’ve even held the hand of someone I
love and I watched them take their last
breath before my 20th birthday so yes I
had a tremendous amount of stories that
I could share but sharing those stories
was very difficult for me very very
difficult so I just didn’t share them at
all I didn’t think my stories had very
much significance and if you’d asked me
at that time I don’t think that I
thought I had much significance a story
was just a bunch of broken pieces that
didn’t quite fit anywhere and so I kept
them to myself and then something
happened I found spoken word and the
truth is spoken word honestly found me
it gave me an outlet to be able to share
some of the stories I’d held on to for
so long and I saw a lot of things in my
life begin to change as I begin to share
the stories that made up who I was
number one I begin to change right
finally getting an opportunity to let go
of some of the things I had experienced
was relief for me it gave me the chance
to be able to be free from things that
have been holding me down for such a
long time the other thing that I saw
change was my relationships it was
fascinating to me you know typically if
you have an experience and someone else
shares commonality with that experience
you instantly develop some level of
connection but what I found is that as I
shared my personal stories I started to
develop relationships with people who
were completely different from me and it
blew me away
it’s as if my personal stories became a
bridge that allowed me to develop these
relationships and this is typically how
would happen I get invited to share or
even in a personal conversation I begin
sharing a part of my story and someone
would say you know I really appreciate
you sharing that story and although they
didn’t share similar experiences they
begin to tell their own stories and
before you know it we had this
relationship and I begin to really
really value those relationships one of
those in particular is a friendship I
have with a 12 year old kid named Laura
now Laura is an amazing person I met her
three years ago when I worked as a
director for a mentorship program and
you know if I were honest
I probably wouldn’t have picked Lord to
be my mentee necessarily because we
didn’t share a lot in common but she
came to the mentorship program and she
didn’t have anyone to work with so who
did they ask to work with her the
director right you fill in where you can
fill in and so I knew having worked with
students especially with middle school
and high school students I knew it was
gonna be important for me to be
transparent for me to be willing to
share some of my personal stories and
invite her to do the same thing so
that’s what I did three years later we
still have that relationship and we’re
still exchanging stories and I know it
all started just from that small
conversation we had on the day that I
met her it was fascinating to me because
oftentimes in social settings they say
it’s completely selfish to just talk
about yourself and trust me I do believe
that 100% what I’m finding is more
selfish is when we have these incredible
stories that we could share stories that
could allow us to develop relationships
with people that are so different from
us and we don’t share them for some
reason I think we miss a lot of
opportunities I know I certainly did I
missed the opportunity for people to
really get to know who I truly was but
also missed opportunities to develop
relationships that had that could have
had dramatic impacts in my life and so
today I’m proud to share my story I’m
excited to share my story because I
realize how much of a connection I can
develop with other people and I value
that sincerely so I’m thankful that you
gave me the opportunity to share today
but I’m more excited about hearing your
story thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
why do I have to be so strong why can’t
I just say that something is wrong I’ve
been waiting but my patience is fading I
need to put down this heavy guard my
life has been rough it’s left me scarred
I’ve been running I went as far as my
feet could take me now the ice is
breaking I’m afraid I can’t hold on I
need you to be my strength I don’t want
to be let down maybe that’s what I’m
afraid to let you in you see I’ve
convinced the world that I’m above
crying but I haven’t convinced death
that I’m above dying yes there’s a smile
on my face but you know everything you
know my insides are crying I can’t do
this myself I’m so sick and tired of
trying well hiya do I have to be so
strong everywhere I go I see his face
and I know that I’ve got to move on but
the sins of my past I’ve got me in its
grass my vision is shattered I’m
stepping on glass I can’t see through
this fog I want to be there for you but
I want to cry too so it’s what I’m
feeling really that wrong sometimes I
want to be weak and yet I always have to
be strong sometimes I want to be
softened yet I always have to be hard
sometimes I want to be held and yet I
always have to stand I want to be a
woman and not feel like I have to be a
woman and a man because I can’t why do I
have to be so strong I told him I put my
hopes on the shelf and I gave him up
myself what more must I do to prove that
I love you I’ve given him my best and
now I’m standing here broken trying to
give you what’s left and I feel like
everything is going wrong I thought I
was someone put together have my booty
shorts in the summer in the winter and
low-cut sweaters in the spring my back
sound in the fall not much more because
if I caught a giraffe I always have my
boos to keep me warm this season of my
life has got me real confused I know
he’s not treating me right and yet I’m
so afraid to say that I’m being abused
I’m walking around with deep cuts and
open wounds the truth be told I’ve got a
problem with rejection and although I’ve
learned that we Eastern neighbor a
number comes a brand new lesson I can
tell you most of my exes ended with a
head slash heartache and I really
thought they started off as a blessing
those temps they did fill voids in my
life they brought those shiny toys in my
life sometimes I reminisce about those
boys in my life and it’s kept me
distracted that’s why I’m asking why do
I have to be so strong I must I carry
the weight of the world on my shoulders
I’m a mother to my mate a sister to my
son and equal to my daughter and
everyone keeps telling me my priorities
are out of order at least I’m there it’s
more than what my mother was to me I
should have known that my life would be
worth nothing more than a couple of
suitcases a bag it’s considering what
hers used to be I am so tired of living
in this life feeling myself dying to
death I live in this life but I feel
myself dying a death over and over and
over again I have cried until it heard
and I’ve been on my knees I’ve lost
everything including my dignity
having the midst of a cry with loud
people loud music hard dancing drinks
passing still felt alone whether his
house my house our house I have yet to
have a home why tell me why I have to be
so strong why can’t you just take away
this hurt this pain in this shame
because I feel like I’ll never be good
enough I need a secret place to go a
place where no one can find me where the
enemies of my past are not constantly
lurking behind me I just want to have
freedom and joy and life and love and
you know I could go on and on but if
you’re Grenaa no the request at least
send someone in my past to say baby girl
you don’t have to be so strong you know
I love being a storyteller as a spoken
word artist I get the opportunity to
paint pictures with words I get to tell
my personal stories as well as the
stories of other people but it’s my
personal stories that give my voice
incredible value just like I believe
your stories give your voice incredible
value my stories
give me something to contribute to the
rest of the world and I believe your
stories give you something to contribute
to the rest of the world and here’s the
value of a unique story they’re always
100% unique and 100% on matched you know
we’re all here
having a very similar experience we’re
seeing the same things we’re hearing the
same things we’re smelling the same
things and yet we’re processing this
experience through the lens of our own
perspective so there’s no way for our
stories to be 100% the same in fact I
know if I asked everyone to write down
the story of this weekend I know they’d
all be a little bit different and
typically when an idea or an experience
or a product is unique one-of-a-kind
it’s inherently valuable and I find it
interesting because in our society we
tend to celebrate people who figured out
the value of their unique voice I love
music musicians have an ability to take
their instruments and tell stories
stories that are as unique as they are
as people
singers and songwriters the most
influential artists of our generations
and generations pass have all figured
out a way to tell their stories and we
love it we love when artists are
completely authentic and vulnerable and
we go on that journey with them every
time we press play we’ve even created
social media platforms that are
dedicated to the sole purpose of
allowing individuals like you and I the
opportunity to share our unique stories
and for some of us were on our phones
all day long clicking and liking stories
you walk into any bookstore and what
will you find books obviously and
authors who are all doing the same exact
thing they’re telling stories some of
those stories are fiction some of the
stories are nonfiction but here’s what I
know every single person young and Oh
everyone loves a great story and I know
I’ve accumulated some 17 million minutes
worth of stories it’s over 200,000 hours
and 12,000 days some people are doing
the math in their head and of course Ted
would never give me that much time to
share all of my stories but I have a ton
of them that I could share and I’m very
passionate about sharing my stories
today but the truth is I’ve not always
been this way you know for the first two
decades of my life I accumulated some
very interesting stories both of my
parents were addicted to drugs and they
made some pretty horrible decisions that
dramatically impacted my life was taken
away from my parents I was put into
foster care I’ve been
the adoption system I’m a survivor of
child sexual abuse I struggled with
identity confusion incredible bouts of
depression
I’ve even held the hand of someone I
love and I watched them take their last
breath before my 20th birthday so yes I
had a tremendous amount of stories that
I could share but sharing those stories
was very difficult for me very very
difficult so I just didn’t share them at
all I didn’t think my stories had very
much significance and if you’d asked me
at that time I don’t think that I
thought I had much significance a story
was just a bunch of broken pieces that
didn’t quite fit anywhere and so I kept
them to myself and then something
happened I found spoken word and the
truth is spoken word honestly found me
it gave me an outlet to be able to share
some of the stories I’d held on to for
so long and I saw a lot of things in my
life begin to change as I begin to share
the stories that made up who I was
number one I begin to change right
finally getting an opportunity to let go
of some of the things I had experienced
was relief for me it gave me the chance
to be able to be free from things that
have been holding me down for such a
long time the other thing that I saw
change was my relationships it was
fascinating to me you know typically if
you have an experience and someone else
shares commonality with that experience
you instantly develop some level of
connection but what I found is that as I
shared my personal stories I started to
develop relationships with people who
were completely different from me and it
blew me away
it’s as if my personal stories became a
bridge that allowed me to develop these
relationships and this is typically how
would happen I get invited to share or
even in a personal conversation I begin
sharing a part of my story and someone
would say you know I really appreciate
you sharing that story and although they
didn’t share similar experiences they
begin to tell their own stories and
before you know it we had this
relationship and I begin to really
really value those relationships one of
those in particular is a friendship I
have with a 12 year old kid named Laura
now Laura is an amazing person I met her
three years ago when I worked as a
director for a mentorship program and
you know if I were honest
I probably wouldn’t have picked Lord to
be my mentee necessarily because we
didn’t share a lot in common but she
came to the mentorship program and she
didn’t have anyone to work with so who
did they ask to work with her the
director right you fill in where you can
fill in and so I knew having worked with
students especially with middle school
and high school students I knew it was
gonna be important for me to be
transparent for me to be willing to
share some of my personal stories and
invite her to do the same thing so
that’s what I did three years later we
still have that relationship and we’re
still exchanging stories and I know it
all started just from that small
conversation we had on the day that I
met her it was fascinating to me because
oftentimes in social settings they say
it’s completely selfish to just talk
about yourself and trust me I do believe
that 100% what I’m finding is more
selfish is when we have these incredible
stories that we could share stories that
could allow us to develop relationships
with people that are so different from
us and we don’t share them for some
reason I think we miss a lot of
opportunities I know I certainly did I
missed the opportunity for people to
really get to know who I truly was but
also missed opportunities to develop
relationships that had that could have
had dramatic impacts in my life and so
today I’m proud to share my story I’m
excited to share my story because I
realize how much of a connection I can
develop with other people and I value
that sincerely so I’m thankful that you
gave me the opportunity to share today
but I’m more excited about hearing your
story thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
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