running plaster everyone who have made
it to the tough traffic jam really give
you second round of applause everyone
settle down everyone have the lunch yes
we’re good
great it’s okay you can talk it’s not a
problem everyone had the lunch yes yeah
I’ll be honest with you banger this
traffic jam is it’s an animal on its own
isn’t it
it’s create I mean but I’ll tell you
this Bangla this is the only country
that in a traffic jam they sell popcorns
what sort of a movie am i watching
doesn’t even make sense
now Abdul you know I really like of
among others traffic jam it’s the girls
that are crossing the street and they
have this command it’s like they’re a
superhero let’s go
I am not stopping my car because you’re
doing this I’m stopping cuz you’re in
front of my car it’s that simple but
I’ll be honest I’m I really don’t know
why I’m here today I mean we’re having
great speakers I mean got it valve I was
saving the Tigers saving the tiger Wow
I mean let’s be honest I feel that the
only way to save the Tigers is if we
start naming the Tigers to cricket
players there’s gonna be one Tiger all
the villagers are gonna go out though
he’s not gonna eat now he’s taking six
months off he’s the greatest tiger ever
he’s just taking six months off and the
little ones are going to be calling him
mineral and most shaker for obvious
reasons and there’s gonna be one tiger
that’s going to be behind a bush doing
something funky we don’t know that we
know he’s very happy
well I mean let me talk about myself
since we’ve all warmed up um I remember
when I was 13 years old I was sent to a
boarding school it was in Singapore and
over there I was made fun of something
and by now you can tell that it was
because of my height I’m not the tallest
it’s okay I have an advantage every time
I come on a stage the stage looks bigger
everyone’s like oh wow this is a huge
stage we didn’t notice before but I mean
I remember in Singapore the first time I
got made fun of my height was this
Singaporean guy goes hey I shake good
morning to you
well you so salt whoa you so we saw that
a Chinese noodle is taller than you are
what I have my breakfast he goes oh no
no no I’m not done yet I need to tell
you more cause a you so sure but you
need a ladder to climb another what I
was not the coolest I remember when
everyone was going like hey man we’re
gonna be cool you were gonna be black
everyone was like yeah we saw we saw dad
how you been
I thought African was going full African
so I started copying the Nigerians so
when someone came up to me I said you
say what is up
[Applause]
[Music]
you say
teas up but what you are doing is
putting your people down but I got this
accent for my Nigerian friend he may
follow me the worse way because a sheik
you are so small that my pin is bigger
than you I apologize to you all the
elderlies that are here today this is
gonna get much worse as soon as I
finished high school I went to London to
study law and I realized that the only
way I can get our out of trouble was by
saying very cowardly things in a tough
way so when someone goes like hey I’m
gonna beat you up I’m like oh yeah you
better catch me first
it’s to confuse them man and as I
started studying you know I started
developing my stand-up career by now
you’ve already understood that by the
laughter thank you so I remember I was
performing one day and this guy just
white East and urgh I just gets up and
goes away
you got six siblings black I’m excuse me
sir
just because I’m from a developing
country does not mean I’ve got a big
family
we believe in conservation we believe in
protecting the population because no
blood I meant seven God’s you one of
them oh sure why not
I started beginning I graduated and I
went to mom I went to bar I started
becoming a barrister I started studying
for it and there I met people I had
never seen her I’ve seen Bangladeshis
who were far more you know regal than us
he di I could not relate to them I
remember one guy came up coming up to me
goes hello I’ll shake okay
you’re Bangladeshi who’s this what ababa
morning I’m like Barbie would you like
some tea and scones for breakfast I’m
like dude are you British because man
but I do travel on British Airways but
you see I never knew what to do like III
you know I’ve seen a few girls over here
that talk like American you know just oh
my god you’re like so whatever oh my god
why the people going through lunch right
now it’s like so late well you know this
can only work if they’re Bangladeshi
because if they say the same thing all
it will make any sense
hi Dakota to be the cabin kitchen I came
back I started practicing law in intok I
realized that my comedy carry is not
going anywhere – or a common practice so
I started practicing really hard and I
was doing really well I remember once
the judge went I said what is your beef
why aren’t you getting it I said sir I
am wearing it that’s a bad joke okay
well and then as I started practicing I
got really good at and then suddenly I
had to tell my father that I’m a
comedian so there I was with my father
and said dad I’m a comedian
he wasn’t shocked he said make sense you
are a joke
my father was very strict
they’re very conservative and it’s not
their fault it’s how they became do you
know I don’t blame them um I remember
when I was young my father used to tell
me off I can see some of them will
understand what I’m saying my father
used to go Ashley why don’t you wake up
in the morning I’m like father it comes
too early that’s why I remember my
father was once explaining why I should
do good work
why should be a good person he said I
shake there are two engines ones on your
right the others on your left when you
do all the good things you will write it
down when you do all the bad things you
will write it down so from now on I
shake what should you do that every time
I do something bad I’m just going to go
like this damn I still remember that
slab so my father we realized that my
father suddenly fell ill we took him to
that’s a really polite thing to do to
have yourself or not I remember we went
to the doctor and the doctor said mr.
Hamid you have a 70% block on your heart
now my dad been competitive said that’s
nothing I could have done better
I’m like dude this is not a competition
70 is good for now so he he I never got
to understand where he came from I had
to do my own thing so as soon as he got
unwell I suddenly got into the business
the one he had and he was selling
bedsheets straight but I have no idea
about matching and there I was within a
month in France talking to this buyer
for a tender for buying bedsheets or
selling bedsheets and I had no idea what
to do
so this French guy comes up to me
because I’m Monsieur Ahmet you know how
French people talk good I miss your
image
why must we sell your butt cheek what is
so good about it I want I had no idea
about that she I had no idea what to say
so then I started thinking quickly I
said okay france paris eiffel tower love
lust I have got it I said Monsieur my
bed sheet is so good you won’t sleep on
it you will sleep with it we recorded
our biggest loss that you know as you
can tell about our I am single surprised
I had a girlfriend recently we had a
breakup choose the love of my love she
was the love of my life I want to give
her everything I had she had my heart
she had my soul she had my everything
but then she asked for my facebook
password maybe I don’t know I shouldn’t
give it to you but you know just calm
down for a bit because I’ll tell you
this guys we know here that we are not
afraid to show if we’re talking to girls
it’s what the conversation we have other
guys were worried about coz if a girl
season me like you’re a bloody monster
man well yeah we hide that and I
remember like even with all my
relationships it was very tough my
girlfriend once said a secure only
interested in my body I said baby that’s
all I can reach I can’t go any higher
than that when my girlfriend called me
baby she meant it
so scary that I remember my my
girlfriend was frustrated you I see you
I’m like I’m trying I’ll be more serious
because no throw up please go up I got
so desperate I started rubbing Horlicks
on my feet didn’t work the one next what
next for me I realized that as and as
much as I’m getting the laughter I’m
enjoying what do I do afterwards
what is the point of this and that’s
when I started understanding that my
comedy does not end with just a laughter
I need to do something more and what I
decided was that I started a charity
where instead of coming in with money to
buy the tickets you bring one copy and
stationaries and all the collection goes
to an underprivileged school because as
far as I have done so far what I’ve told
about my life I’ve talked about my
insecurities I’ve talked about my
failures and work I’ve talked about my
lack of relationships and I’ve talked
about my consistent way of failing but I
have found a way to channel it in a
positive way and I feel that most of you
in here have something within you that
you can use it in a positive way it
doesn’t matter how much it doesn’t
matter how long you spend on it but you
just have to be positive about it and
use it for the greater purpose I believe
that with my model you won’t be famous
you will not be popular on Facebook or
social media or anything else now what
you will have is a sense of fulfillment
that what you’re doing is making a
difference be that me in a small way but
it’s making a difference I’ll end with a
quart it’s my great philosopher called
Joker and it was from the movie Dark
Knight
great philosopher Jacques said if you’re
good at something never do it for free
well I believe if you’re brilliant at
something why care what you’re doing it
for my name is Alma – ik it’s been a
pleasure thank you
[Applause]
it to the tough traffic jam really give
you second round of applause everyone
settle down everyone have the lunch yes
we’re good
great it’s okay you can talk it’s not a
problem everyone had the lunch yes yeah
I’ll be honest with you banger this
traffic jam is it’s an animal on its own
isn’t it
it’s create I mean but I’ll tell you
this Bangla this is the only country
that in a traffic jam they sell popcorns
what sort of a movie am i watching
doesn’t even make sense
now Abdul you know I really like of
among others traffic jam it’s the girls
that are crossing the street and they
have this command it’s like they’re a
superhero let’s go
I am not stopping my car because you’re
doing this I’m stopping cuz you’re in
front of my car it’s that simple but
I’ll be honest I’m I really don’t know
why I’m here today I mean we’re having
great speakers I mean got it valve I was
saving the Tigers saving the tiger Wow
I mean let’s be honest I feel that the
only way to save the Tigers is if we
start naming the Tigers to cricket
players there’s gonna be one Tiger all
the villagers are gonna go out though
he’s not gonna eat now he’s taking six
months off he’s the greatest tiger ever
he’s just taking six months off and the
little ones are going to be calling him
mineral and most shaker for obvious
reasons and there’s gonna be one tiger
that’s going to be behind a bush doing
something funky we don’t know that we
know he’s very happy
well I mean let me talk about myself
since we’ve all warmed up um I remember
when I was 13 years old I was sent to a
boarding school it was in Singapore and
over there I was made fun of something
and by now you can tell that it was
because of my height I’m not the tallest
it’s okay I have an advantage every time
I come on a stage the stage looks bigger
everyone’s like oh wow this is a huge
stage we didn’t notice before but I mean
I remember in Singapore the first time I
got made fun of my height was this
Singaporean guy goes hey I shake good
morning to you
well you so salt whoa you so we saw that
a Chinese noodle is taller than you are
what I have my breakfast he goes oh no
no no I’m not done yet I need to tell
you more cause a you so sure but you
need a ladder to climb another what I
was not the coolest I remember when
everyone was going like hey man we’re
gonna be cool you were gonna be black
everyone was like yeah we saw we saw dad
how you been
I thought African was going full African
so I started copying the Nigerians so
when someone came up to me I said you
say what is up
[Applause]
[Music]
you say
teas up but what you are doing is
putting your people down but I got this
accent for my Nigerian friend he may
follow me the worse way because a sheik
you are so small that my pin is bigger
than you I apologize to you all the
elderlies that are here today this is
gonna get much worse as soon as I
finished high school I went to London to
study law and I realized that the only
way I can get our out of trouble was by
saying very cowardly things in a tough
way so when someone goes like hey I’m
gonna beat you up I’m like oh yeah you
better catch me first
it’s to confuse them man and as I
started studying you know I started
developing my stand-up career by now
you’ve already understood that by the
laughter thank you so I remember I was
performing one day and this guy just
white East and urgh I just gets up and
goes away
you got six siblings black I’m excuse me
sir
just because I’m from a developing
country does not mean I’ve got a big
family
we believe in conservation we believe in
protecting the population because no
blood I meant seven God’s you one of
them oh sure why not
I started beginning I graduated and I
went to mom I went to bar I started
becoming a barrister I started studying
for it and there I met people I had
never seen her I’ve seen Bangladeshis
who were far more you know regal than us
he di I could not relate to them I
remember one guy came up coming up to me
goes hello I’ll shake okay
you’re Bangladeshi who’s this what ababa
morning I’m like Barbie would you like
some tea and scones for breakfast I’m
like dude are you British because man
but I do travel on British Airways but
you see I never knew what to do like III
you know I’ve seen a few girls over here
that talk like American you know just oh
my god you’re like so whatever oh my god
why the people going through lunch right
now it’s like so late well you know this
can only work if they’re Bangladeshi
because if they say the same thing all
it will make any sense
hi Dakota to be the cabin kitchen I came
back I started practicing law in intok I
realized that my comedy carry is not
going anywhere – or a common practice so
I started practicing really hard and I
was doing really well I remember once
the judge went I said what is your beef
why aren’t you getting it I said sir I
am wearing it that’s a bad joke okay
well and then as I started practicing I
got really good at and then suddenly I
had to tell my father that I’m a
comedian so there I was with my father
and said dad I’m a comedian
he wasn’t shocked he said make sense you
are a joke
my father was very strict
they’re very conservative and it’s not
their fault it’s how they became do you
know I don’t blame them um I remember
when I was young my father used to tell
me off I can see some of them will
understand what I’m saying my father
used to go Ashley why don’t you wake up
in the morning I’m like father it comes
too early that’s why I remember my
father was once explaining why I should
do good work
why should be a good person he said I
shake there are two engines ones on your
right the others on your left when you
do all the good things you will write it
down when you do all the bad things you
will write it down so from now on I
shake what should you do that every time
I do something bad I’m just going to go
like this damn I still remember that
slab so my father we realized that my
father suddenly fell ill we took him to
that’s a really polite thing to do to
have yourself or not I remember we went
to the doctor and the doctor said mr.
Hamid you have a 70% block on your heart
now my dad been competitive said that’s
nothing I could have done better
I’m like dude this is not a competition
70 is good for now so he he I never got
to understand where he came from I had
to do my own thing so as soon as he got
unwell I suddenly got into the business
the one he had and he was selling
bedsheets straight but I have no idea
about matching and there I was within a
month in France talking to this buyer
for a tender for buying bedsheets or
selling bedsheets and I had no idea what
to do
so this French guy comes up to me
because I’m Monsieur Ahmet you know how
French people talk good I miss your
image
why must we sell your butt cheek what is
so good about it I want I had no idea
about that she I had no idea what to say
so then I started thinking quickly I
said okay france paris eiffel tower love
lust I have got it I said Monsieur my
bed sheet is so good you won’t sleep on
it you will sleep with it we recorded
our biggest loss that you know as you
can tell about our I am single surprised
I had a girlfriend recently we had a
breakup choose the love of my love she
was the love of my life I want to give
her everything I had she had my heart
she had my soul she had my everything
but then she asked for my facebook
password maybe I don’t know I shouldn’t
give it to you but you know just calm
down for a bit because I’ll tell you
this guys we know here that we are not
afraid to show if we’re talking to girls
it’s what the conversation we have other
guys were worried about coz if a girl
season me like you’re a bloody monster
man well yeah we hide that and I
remember like even with all my
relationships it was very tough my
girlfriend once said a secure only
interested in my body I said baby that’s
all I can reach I can’t go any higher
than that when my girlfriend called me
baby she meant it
so scary that I remember my my
girlfriend was frustrated you I see you
I’m like I’m trying I’ll be more serious
because no throw up please go up I got
so desperate I started rubbing Horlicks
on my feet didn’t work the one next what
next for me I realized that as and as
much as I’m getting the laughter I’m
enjoying what do I do afterwards
what is the point of this and that’s
when I started understanding that my
comedy does not end with just a laughter
I need to do something more and what I
decided was that I started a charity
where instead of coming in with money to
buy the tickets you bring one copy and
stationaries and all the collection goes
to an underprivileged school because as
far as I have done so far what I’ve told
about my life I’ve talked about my
insecurities I’ve talked about my
failures and work I’ve talked about my
lack of relationships and I’ve talked
about my consistent way of failing but I
have found a way to channel it in a
positive way and I feel that most of you
in here have something within you that
you can use it in a positive way it
doesn’t matter how much it doesn’t
matter how long you spend on it but you
just have to be positive about it and
use it for the greater purpose I believe
that with my model you won’t be famous
you will not be popular on Facebook or
social media or anything else now what
you will have is a sense of fulfillment
that what you’re doing is making a
difference be that me in a small way but
it’s making a difference I’ll end with a
quart it’s my great philosopher called
Joker and it was from the movie Dark
Knight
great philosopher Jacques said if you’re
good at something never do it for free
well I believe if you’re brilliant at
something why care what you’re doing it
for my name is Alma – ik it’s been a
pleasure thank you
[Applause]
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