I would like you all to take just a
brief moment and imagine something with
me I would like you to picture the
things that scare you the most now for
some of you you’re making a list and it
might have snakes spiders public
speaking like giving a TED talk maybe
dinner with your in-laws or a host of
other very scary things what usually
does not make this list but often times
well when I asked you to consider it is
this word fundraising right and what’s
not to be terrified this idea of either
asking somebody for or being asked of to
give money it’s frightening people are
so scared of this word word I actually
think that Navy SEALs should incorporate
this into their resistance and grit
training because it’s so incredibly
terrifying and we all look like this and
it is scary and I found it absolutely
terrifying and so in my early 20s I
started getting involved with nonprofit
causes the things that really mattered
to me the things that I cared about and
at the core of every single one of them
was this issue of money and how are we
gonna fund this thing after all if
there’s no money there’s no mission this
led to a position where I now work at a
forward-thinking Institute where we have
a lab where we work with hundreds of
charitable organizations to address this
challenge and other ones and so I’m
gonna walk you through an idea that
fundraising although it seems terrifying
is actually transformative and so I
invite you to come with me on this
journey and we’re gonna cover this very
scary topic through three lenses
consumption contribution and community
and we’re going to look at these each as
a chapter that will reveal a story at
the end starting with consumption
currently we consume twice as many
material goods today as we did 50 years
ago
additionally there are 300 thousand
items in the average American home there
are even some estimates like that from
Annie Leonard that 99% of the stuff that
we purchase is trashed within just six
months and what’s at the heart of this
consumption what’s driving part of this
well what I believe it to be is
comparison because after all if you have
shouldn’t I have and then if we both
have isn’t that now the standard by
which all of us should have doesn’t that
set the lens of the means of which we
think that life should now be
established for us and this leads us to
a mindset of observe and attain you know
their living room set that electronic
observe and then we need to obtain it
and something interesting about this
comparison his recently Facebook was
linked to depression and no fault of
this great social media tool but rather
how we’re using it when you’re scrolling
scores of images of your friends looking
like they’re living these amazing
beautiful lives how can this not help
the stir feelings inside of yourself
that maybe I don’t have everything I
should have like they have and right now
one out of every ten Americans rents
off-site storage so now that we’re over
the 300,000 items that we can fit in the
average American home we actually need
to go out and buy additional storage for
more stuff to put it in and if you’re
fortunate to be a top income earner some
of you just buy another house in another
location where you spend just a few
months which also has an additional
300,000 items in it and we’re in this
circle of compare and consume compare
and consume and we really want to try to
buy just about anything but the thing
that we can’t buy is happiness
see all of these things you can buy
right now some of you by the way have a
robot that’s cleaning your vac or
vacuuming your floor and you’re not even
there to witness it
you can order snow off the internet if
you want to ship to you you can even
walk through the Mall of America and
rent the space to take a nap but what we
can’t buy is happiness but this does not
stop us from trying right now we are
spending a fortune on trying to find
happiness and we are becoming less happy
in the process in fact the systematic
packaging and selling of happiness is an
industry estimated to be worth more than
ten billion dollars which is about the
same size as Hollywood and we are just
driven to consume in the book happiness
hypothesis the author lays out a really
eloquent example of our emotions and our
mind and he gives us this metaphor that
our emotions are like an elephant and
our mind is like the writer and so we’re
in this trap of looking to say that
watch or that car or the way their life
is structured is something we need and
after all I can’t make it through
Christmas if I don’t get this
tickle-me-elmo things are kind of fall
apart and living in this age of
consumption which by the way is
unprecedented because there’s no time in
history where there has been more money
spent to try to capture your attention
even right now all of you have a little
square in your pocket that is staying
warm ready to capture your attention and
possibly try to get you to consume
something in the next few minutes or
whenever you’re ready and because we
live in this age wisdom is coming from
really interesting and profound places
like Jim Carrey the 21st century
philosopher who says I think everybody
should get rich and famous and do
everything they’ve ever dreamed of so
they can see that that’s not the answer
you see these are part of the equation
but they’re meant to play harmony
not to be the bass note that’s your soul
and what’s happened is we’re trying to
consume our way to happiness but you
really can’t get there however there is
something called the fulfillment curve
and this lays out a very interesting
case for us to examine is that when you
go from survival to enough your
happiness will go up of course it will
when you’re not worried about what to
eat what shelter you’re gonna stay out
tonight what’s going to happen to you
tomorrow when you start to feel safe
when you reach enough which is
subjective to you by the way this point
of enough but when you go from survival
to enough our fulfillment and our
happiness goes up but something
interesting happens when we pass this
point of enough and we continue to
consume and what happens as we get into
overconsumption and our fulfillment
starts to go down our happiness begins
to plummet and right now to put this
into perspective Americans spend 1.2
trillion dollars annually on
non-essential goods so things that are
past the point of what be enough for
most of us and we continue to consume
right now I’ve taken to a non-scientific
experience our experiment of watching
just the trash in my back alley which is
only about five houses and it is
alarming that most days some of us can’t
even shut the trash can and we’re
continuing to consume and these
non-essential items again with over 90%
of them potentially being thrown away in
the first six months to also quantify
the stuff that we’re buying that’s not
staying let’s also just take a look at
what enough might mean for the rest of
the world who currently lives on two
dollars and fifty cents a day over three
billion people live on less than two
dollars and fifty cents a day so
shift our lens and move to the second
lens – contribution the second chapter
in our stories because I have good news
for you my friends my fellow do-gooders
and soon-to-be do-gooders is that the
good news that I bring to you is that we
are hardwired for giving not only is
this just a good concept but this this
is not an empty theology this isn’t just
an idea this is actually scientist
saying that we are encoded with DNA that
allows us to survive because we are
cooperating because we give when you
give really interesting things happen
neurologically it actually activates the
Mizzy Olympic pathway which you know
releases dopamine and this
neurotransmitter regulates the brain
Centre for joy and pleasure so we really
are wired for this and though we seek to
get this pleasure from other things I
would suggest to you that perhaps
instead of continuing to over-consume
that if you added contributing in we can
stop this arc of overconsumption leading
to emptiness and start to experience
greater fulfillment because you have a
choice to be part of this good story or
you have a choice to be part of this
consumption story and the great thing is
there’s been some really really
interesting things that have happened
around this subject some scientists have
got involved researchers done at Cannon
Orkin did a study where they gave a sum
of money to participants and they asked
them to make a choice spend this money
on themselves or spend it on somebody
else essentially and those that chose to
give it to somebody else or to help a
charity something good they reported
satisfaction and joy went up their
happiness actually went up and that was
regardless of income or the amount given
so for some of us who buy the lie that
we shouldn’t participate because we
really can’t make a difference it’s not
just about moving the needle forward for
that cause it’s also about who you are
and the bass note that you’re following
because if we are the type of people
that are don’t give we are now non
givers but if we choose to give this
opens up a better path for all of us and
there’s more good news is that giving
actually helps others to live longer
when you contribute your time talent or
treasure you are really telling somebody
that they are that they matter and these
health benefits are really astounding
one of the top five factors contributing
to lower depression rates is giving to
neighbors and communities creativity
meaning resilience health and even
longevity can all be enhanced or be a
byproduct of contributing to the lives
of others and that is according to dr.
post at Stony Brook University School of
Medicine you are happier and healthier
when you contribute and the science is
clear
that when you contribute your happiness
goes up and when you are happy you
contribute more part of my work entails
working with a lot of young leaders and
young leaders are currently really
trying to find purpose just a
generalization one quick note to find
purpose look at the things that you have
solved in your life that you have found
a solution for that you’ve overcome and
turn around and help somebody else with
that same challenge it releases in us a
beautiful story of being part of a
community of givers which brings us to
our third and final chapter to this
story is community for what’s happening
when you decide to support a charity or
you just supply decide to help a
neighbor in need the qualified trainer
from Dakota Medical Foundation when you
support a charity you are telling
someone they matter
you are easing pain you’re inspiring
dream
and sometimes you are saving lives see
this terrifying work of fundraising is
not at all what people think it is
because of our consumer culture were so
focused on money that that’s the thing
that we gravitate to but this work of
supporting charities and helping
charities and being a contributor and
also being part of a fundraising team is
that it’s about meaning and it’s not
about money see there is the structure
of the thing and the spirit of the thing
the structure is the words we use to try
to quantify something what is it how
does it work how do we do it the spirit
is the base note that’s underneath all
of that structure and so the language
doesn’t fit my friends and I could spend
countless hours talking about if they
should even be called nonprofits or
charities there should be social purpose
but really what we’re trying to do is
just aptly named this spirit which is
underneath all of this which is meaning
see because this work when I say
fundraising the images that conjure up
is sitting front in front of somebody
and trying to convince them but this
work is not about convincing it’s about
connecting it’s not about face-to-face
sales pushing it’s about side that by
side painting a purpose a compelling
purpose and we discuss ideas side by
side together and so we can work
together to say what can we do to move
the needle forward and these important
issues let’s get our talented friends
together and start drawing up brew pens
let’s start to see that these are not
about transactions but they are about
transformations and see if you’re a
donor and you are terrified of being
asked in here
I encourage you to embrace your know so
you can empower your yes it’s your map
to draw it’s for you to set that journey
and for my fellow fundraisers your job
is to help people to find fulfill
that you believe that your cause is good
enough for people to participate with
and that you love everybody enough to
give them the opportunity to participate
Jackson Browne says this remember that
the happiest people are not those
getting more but those that are giving
more so can money buy happiness
potentially but not the way that we
thought the one thing that money cannot
buy is authenticity but it turns out
contributing can help you find it along
the way which leads to happiness and so
our fundraisers what are they they are
agents of significance making meaningful
connections for more fulfilling lives if
you are somebody in here and you’re
scared to ask for money or be a part of
a charitable cause because of what that
entails I will tell you three things
that you can take with you is one
believe that you have a mission that is
worth giving to to know that people will
give generously if asked not everybody
but that people will give generously if
asked and loved everyone enough to give
them the opportunity to give because for
all of us that get to contribute and
choose to contribute your opportunity
lies in what my good friend Paul
shervish calls a moral biography you can
shape the story that you’re going to
leave every great moral and spiritual
tradition points to this that we find
ourselves by giving and participating in
community so I charge you with these
three things choose can chunk choose to
contribute over consuming choose to be
caring rather than critical we have
enough criticism instead choose to lean
and to others and their cause be curious
about how things work and if this is
something that leads to fulfillment and
choose celebration over comparison for
if we do this as a community
we’ll be cultivating a community of
givers that is truly limitless thank you
[Music]
brief moment and imagine something with
me I would like you to picture the
things that scare you the most now for
some of you you’re making a list and it
might have snakes spiders public
speaking like giving a TED talk maybe
dinner with your in-laws or a host of
other very scary things what usually
does not make this list but often times
well when I asked you to consider it is
this word fundraising right and what’s
not to be terrified this idea of either
asking somebody for or being asked of to
give money it’s frightening people are
so scared of this word word I actually
think that Navy SEALs should incorporate
this into their resistance and grit
training because it’s so incredibly
terrifying and we all look like this and
it is scary and I found it absolutely
terrifying and so in my early 20s I
started getting involved with nonprofit
causes the things that really mattered
to me the things that I cared about and
at the core of every single one of them
was this issue of money and how are we
gonna fund this thing after all if
there’s no money there’s no mission this
led to a position where I now work at a
forward-thinking Institute where we have
a lab where we work with hundreds of
charitable organizations to address this
challenge and other ones and so I’m
gonna walk you through an idea that
fundraising although it seems terrifying
is actually transformative and so I
invite you to come with me on this
journey and we’re gonna cover this very
scary topic through three lenses
consumption contribution and community
and we’re going to look at these each as
a chapter that will reveal a story at
the end starting with consumption
currently we consume twice as many
material goods today as we did 50 years
ago
additionally there are 300 thousand
items in the average American home there
are even some estimates like that from
Annie Leonard that 99% of the stuff that
we purchase is trashed within just six
months and what’s at the heart of this
consumption what’s driving part of this
well what I believe it to be is
comparison because after all if you have
shouldn’t I have and then if we both
have isn’t that now the standard by
which all of us should have doesn’t that
set the lens of the means of which we
think that life should now be
established for us and this leads us to
a mindset of observe and attain you know
their living room set that electronic
observe and then we need to obtain it
and something interesting about this
comparison his recently Facebook was
linked to depression and no fault of
this great social media tool but rather
how we’re using it when you’re scrolling
scores of images of your friends looking
like they’re living these amazing
beautiful lives how can this not help
the stir feelings inside of yourself
that maybe I don’t have everything I
should have like they have and right now
one out of every ten Americans rents
off-site storage so now that we’re over
the 300,000 items that we can fit in the
average American home we actually need
to go out and buy additional storage for
more stuff to put it in and if you’re
fortunate to be a top income earner some
of you just buy another house in another
location where you spend just a few
months which also has an additional
300,000 items in it and we’re in this
circle of compare and consume compare
and consume and we really want to try to
buy just about anything but the thing
that we can’t buy is happiness
see all of these things you can buy
right now some of you by the way have a
robot that’s cleaning your vac or
vacuuming your floor and you’re not even
there to witness it
you can order snow off the internet if
you want to ship to you you can even
walk through the Mall of America and
rent the space to take a nap but what we
can’t buy is happiness but this does not
stop us from trying right now we are
spending a fortune on trying to find
happiness and we are becoming less happy
in the process in fact the systematic
packaging and selling of happiness is an
industry estimated to be worth more than
ten billion dollars which is about the
same size as Hollywood and we are just
driven to consume in the book happiness
hypothesis the author lays out a really
eloquent example of our emotions and our
mind and he gives us this metaphor that
our emotions are like an elephant and
our mind is like the writer and so we’re
in this trap of looking to say that
watch or that car or the way their life
is structured is something we need and
after all I can’t make it through
Christmas if I don’t get this
tickle-me-elmo things are kind of fall
apart and living in this age of
consumption which by the way is
unprecedented because there’s no time in
history where there has been more money
spent to try to capture your attention
even right now all of you have a little
square in your pocket that is staying
warm ready to capture your attention and
possibly try to get you to consume
something in the next few minutes or
whenever you’re ready and because we
live in this age wisdom is coming from
really interesting and profound places
like Jim Carrey the 21st century
philosopher who says I think everybody
should get rich and famous and do
everything they’ve ever dreamed of so
they can see that that’s not the answer
you see these are part of the equation
but they’re meant to play harmony
not to be the bass note that’s your soul
and what’s happened is we’re trying to
consume our way to happiness but you
really can’t get there however there is
something called the fulfillment curve
and this lays out a very interesting
case for us to examine is that when you
go from survival to enough your
happiness will go up of course it will
when you’re not worried about what to
eat what shelter you’re gonna stay out
tonight what’s going to happen to you
tomorrow when you start to feel safe
when you reach enough which is
subjective to you by the way this point
of enough but when you go from survival
to enough our fulfillment and our
happiness goes up but something
interesting happens when we pass this
point of enough and we continue to
consume and what happens as we get into
overconsumption and our fulfillment
starts to go down our happiness begins
to plummet and right now to put this
into perspective Americans spend 1.2
trillion dollars annually on
non-essential goods so things that are
past the point of what be enough for
most of us and we continue to consume
right now I’ve taken to a non-scientific
experience our experiment of watching
just the trash in my back alley which is
only about five houses and it is
alarming that most days some of us can’t
even shut the trash can and we’re
continuing to consume and these
non-essential items again with over 90%
of them potentially being thrown away in
the first six months to also quantify
the stuff that we’re buying that’s not
staying let’s also just take a look at
what enough might mean for the rest of
the world who currently lives on two
dollars and fifty cents a day over three
billion people live on less than two
dollars and fifty cents a day so
shift our lens and move to the second
lens – contribution the second chapter
in our stories because I have good news
for you my friends my fellow do-gooders
and soon-to-be do-gooders is that the
good news that I bring to you is that we
are hardwired for giving not only is
this just a good concept but this this
is not an empty theology this isn’t just
an idea this is actually scientist
saying that we are encoded with DNA that
allows us to survive because we are
cooperating because we give when you
give really interesting things happen
neurologically it actually activates the
Mizzy Olympic pathway which you know
releases dopamine and this
neurotransmitter regulates the brain
Centre for joy and pleasure so we really
are wired for this and though we seek to
get this pleasure from other things I
would suggest to you that perhaps
instead of continuing to over-consume
that if you added contributing in we can
stop this arc of overconsumption leading
to emptiness and start to experience
greater fulfillment because you have a
choice to be part of this good story or
you have a choice to be part of this
consumption story and the great thing is
there’s been some really really
interesting things that have happened
around this subject some scientists have
got involved researchers done at Cannon
Orkin did a study where they gave a sum
of money to participants and they asked
them to make a choice spend this money
on themselves or spend it on somebody
else essentially and those that chose to
give it to somebody else or to help a
charity something good they reported
satisfaction and joy went up their
happiness actually went up and that was
regardless of income or the amount given
so for some of us who buy the lie that
we shouldn’t participate because we
really can’t make a difference it’s not
just about moving the needle forward for
that cause it’s also about who you are
and the bass note that you’re following
because if we are the type of people
that are don’t give we are now non
givers but if we choose to give this
opens up a better path for all of us and
there’s more good news is that giving
actually helps others to live longer
when you contribute your time talent or
treasure you are really telling somebody
that they are that they matter and these
health benefits are really astounding
one of the top five factors contributing
to lower depression rates is giving to
neighbors and communities creativity
meaning resilience health and even
longevity can all be enhanced or be a
byproduct of contributing to the lives
of others and that is according to dr.
post at Stony Brook University School of
Medicine you are happier and healthier
when you contribute and the science is
clear
that when you contribute your happiness
goes up and when you are happy you
contribute more part of my work entails
working with a lot of young leaders and
young leaders are currently really
trying to find purpose just a
generalization one quick note to find
purpose look at the things that you have
solved in your life that you have found
a solution for that you’ve overcome and
turn around and help somebody else with
that same challenge it releases in us a
beautiful story of being part of a
community of givers which brings us to
our third and final chapter to this
story is community for what’s happening
when you decide to support a charity or
you just supply decide to help a
neighbor in need the qualified trainer
from Dakota Medical Foundation when you
support a charity you are telling
someone they matter
you are easing pain you’re inspiring
dream
and sometimes you are saving lives see
this terrifying work of fundraising is
not at all what people think it is
because of our consumer culture were so
focused on money that that’s the thing
that we gravitate to but this work of
supporting charities and helping
charities and being a contributor and
also being part of a fundraising team is
that it’s about meaning and it’s not
about money see there is the structure
of the thing and the spirit of the thing
the structure is the words we use to try
to quantify something what is it how
does it work how do we do it the spirit
is the base note that’s underneath all
of that structure and so the language
doesn’t fit my friends and I could spend
countless hours talking about if they
should even be called nonprofits or
charities there should be social purpose
but really what we’re trying to do is
just aptly named this spirit which is
underneath all of this which is meaning
see because this work when I say
fundraising the images that conjure up
is sitting front in front of somebody
and trying to convince them but this
work is not about convincing it’s about
connecting it’s not about face-to-face
sales pushing it’s about side that by
side painting a purpose a compelling
purpose and we discuss ideas side by
side together and so we can work
together to say what can we do to move
the needle forward and these important
issues let’s get our talented friends
together and start drawing up brew pens
let’s start to see that these are not
about transactions but they are about
transformations and see if you’re a
donor and you are terrified of being
asked in here
I encourage you to embrace your know so
you can empower your yes it’s your map
to draw it’s for you to set that journey
and for my fellow fundraisers your job
is to help people to find fulfill
that you believe that your cause is good
enough for people to participate with
and that you love everybody enough to
give them the opportunity to participate
Jackson Browne says this remember that
the happiest people are not those
getting more but those that are giving
more so can money buy happiness
potentially but not the way that we
thought the one thing that money cannot
buy is authenticity but it turns out
contributing can help you find it along
the way which leads to happiness and so
our fundraisers what are they they are
agents of significance making meaningful
connections for more fulfilling lives if
you are somebody in here and you’re
scared to ask for money or be a part of
a charitable cause because of what that
entails I will tell you three things
that you can take with you is one
believe that you have a mission that is
worth giving to to know that people will
give generously if asked not everybody
but that people will give generously if
asked and loved everyone enough to give
them the opportunity to give because for
all of us that get to contribute and
choose to contribute your opportunity
lies in what my good friend Paul
shervish calls a moral biography you can
shape the story that you’re going to
leave every great moral and spiritual
tradition points to this that we find
ourselves by giving and participating in
community so I charge you with these
three things choose can chunk choose to
contribute over consuming choose to be
caring rather than critical we have
enough criticism instead choose to lean
and to others and their cause be curious
about how things work and if this is
something that leads to fulfillment and
choose celebration over comparison for
if we do this as a community
we’ll be cultivating a community of
givers that is truly limitless thank you
[Music]
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