the life I had before was full of
uncertainty
like us porn and a broken hair follicle
they like a vision of Michelangelo’s
greatest worth crushed Levis movie
moving one foot forward and the up one
stuck back in 1982 in 1985 I took in a
place called Roxbury a place where
working-class communities did everything
they could to provide for their families
they pushed their children to keep their
eyes on the prize it’s been an eight
year old girl I remember teammate
attention to the graffiti on the walls
or the broken glass on the ground
breathing the drug dealers doing their
eyes this for me was spilled my haters
and all the eight-year-old girls will
come together with their cornrows and
afro puffs and we would come together
and get ready to to our kids my sign
Sagittarius back home right because
everyone knows I’m gonna buy a good day
was when the fire hydrants were loose
and we were able to let the water splash
all over our body Tito Puente
we heard out of the bailiffs home and
too late that Seattle’s reminded us that
it was time to get home before the
lights came on and then I was told I was
going to a new school I would wake up at
4 a.m. in the morning to leave Roxbury
and head to Shannon Massachusetts the
cement started to stop slowly change
into green grass and I knew I was
somewhere different because when I
entered the classroom all I could see
was a sea of vanilla faces and there I
stood chocolatine assumptions had played
a major part of my life
and many mistakes my personal journey
today I invite you to walk with me down
memory lane as I share a few stories
that have shaped my journey and shifted
my perspective the Metropolitan Council
for education opportunity also known as
the Metro program was designed to help
inner-city students have a broader
education I was a medical student and
for two years I worked on changing my
language enhancing my writing and
developing my communication skills now
my Roxbury friends they definitely could
see the difference they would say things
like oh you sound like a white girl
George a game of kickball my shouting
friends on the other inputs
oh my goodness did you see the news did
you hear about the murder were you there
last week every now and then a few
people would say you should feel really
grateful for being a part of this
program and I’m so grateful I could
always tell those who are doubting my
potential but it wasn’t always that bad
with time I was able to join a number of
civic groups and really began to find my
book I can’t be me there is nobody like
to meet my preaching floor my destiny as
a freshman I entered the University of
Massachusetts Amherst and that 17 years
old I was on a mission to understand who
I was but there were a few professors
who really had a profound influence on
my life I tell you when I first saw
professor Alex de Xiang’s I’ll never
forget it because she looked like
superwoman with the Cape and she talked
to us about woman icons like Sojourner
Truth then Toni Morrison she reminded us
to use our voices as college females and
we became very appreciative of Sojourner
truths very popular speech ain’t IA
woman she also challenged us if we did
not work hard to try even better that
next time I would enroll into a course
about identity now this instructor was
interesting because when I saw her she
has long brown hair a part in the middle
she definitely looked like she could
the sixties and again she had a vanilla
face she simply said just call me
kaolin and she talked about stories of
color in them she talked about racism
and she also experienced her own journey
because she married men of a different
race and had biracial children this
instructor really caught my attention
but how could I ever forget professor
Nicholas McBride the journalism
department he allowed me to create an
independent study where I was able to
merge art and culture together and I’m
sort of Miles Davis i absorb sarabande
and dental fix drove I could be found
singing blue skies smell let me talk
about those guys if I see even though I
knew in the 1930s many Americans were
struggling to reach that American dream
but I continued and I really felt like
an archaeologist I got into the elevator
of the UMass Amherst library with all
the way to the top of the 11th floor and
there I smuggled with four books I read
the stories about the separate fountains
I asked myself what would life be like
if I have to sit at the back of the
booth
if what ruler King were here today what
would you say to me
whoa I joined the newspaper I spoke on
the radio and I even began to create
different types of social groups I
started to try to answer that question
and I began to write rational minds eats
with B plus oppressed with intricate
weaves of hatred questioning tools that
food from your external or internal you
tell me you lying lips for baby wet
softly sleeping from the dry stretch
dripping down the corner of your lips
crocodile wonder as you say I’m sorry
but sorry don’t cut the game-droid
babies I was burning for answers and my
college experience was truly eye-opening
I resolved that I would offer what
Professor Deschamps kaolin and mr.
Nicholas McBride did for me that was the
gift of self-discovery many years later
I took the college years behind me I
didn’t reach my American dream I had the
two cars the house and even a jet for
cookouts but after three years I started
having excruciating pains and these
pains are so bad that I could be found
on the floor it is curled up position
for two years I went to doctors trying
to find the answers to my problems and
finally a doctor said Ilana you have
endometriosis I said what no
endometriosis
condition where the uterine lining which
would normally be the spell during a
flow begins to grow in other areas
within your body symptoms include
extreme pain and also a challenge with
giving birth when I heard this diagnosis
I felt stunted I mean I assumed that to
be a bull I had to have three children
by the age of 35 you see for five years
I began to ask myself why did I have
this quick this condition for five years
I stopped writing
I stopped creating and I stopped
initiating anything new I even hated
going to parties where I could find
other woman I went to this one party
this woman came up to me with her hands
open wide and she said I felt dejected
and confused around 2:00 a.m. in the
morning I laid in my bed with my head
looking at the ceiling saying why did
all of these things happen to me I think
why did this Pablo have to interrupt my
friends I know you’ve been through all
of these things I know the pain you have
a daughter what would life be like if
you only had 100
days to live I planted some water and a
song came to mind you’ve gotta learn
this new line
not my life you happy for some what
would you do it 120 days
something with babies immediately
shifted I woke up the next morning I
pulled out journals that I had tucked of
my closet for 14 years and I got in my
car and drove to Starbucks and there I
began to write my first self-help book
tomorrow can’t wait I decided I would
birth a new me and I resolved that I
would be happy just this past month I
had the opportunity to share my story
with a group of woman at the climates
where branch of the box of public
library I saw the Nilla faces I saw
marine places pecan faces and I shared
my story at the end of my workshop I
looked up and saw a 30 year old woman
coming up to me she had tears in her
eyes and she said to me you have changed
my life today if you did not decide to
do this I would never have been able to
hear your story in that moment I felt
her for two minutes and I knew within
her a happened what would you do if
you only had 120 days or to do something
new but you just kept putting it off
perhaps you told yourself it’s too late
now so much time as God mine what I
would like to leave you with these three
blocks another one what would happen if
you were able to wipe the slate
you know start completely over and
forgive yourself for the many years that
you may have developed resentment number
two how about revisiting some of the
goals that you have for yourself we
cannot fully appreciate a butterfly
unless we understand the caterpillar
that it was truly change takes process
and lastly we can all be reminded of
that eight-year-old within us that
challenges us to live with birth birth
and excitement with the goal of becoming
at bestsellers you see 120 days is the
idea that we can all live our lives with
a sense of urgency normal motivational
speaker Les Brown says that the richest
place on earth is in the grave where
people have buried their talents and
their gifts but that does not have to be
you so I encourage you to have what I
call eyes find moments of stillness
because you might be amazed at just what
you discover because you’ve gotta let
this be love not live like you’ve had
before so what would you do with 120
days
[Applause]
uncertainty
like us porn and a broken hair follicle
they like a vision of Michelangelo’s
greatest worth crushed Levis movie
moving one foot forward and the up one
stuck back in 1982 in 1985 I took in a
place called Roxbury a place where
working-class communities did everything
they could to provide for their families
they pushed their children to keep their
eyes on the prize it’s been an eight
year old girl I remember teammate
attention to the graffiti on the walls
or the broken glass on the ground
breathing the drug dealers doing their
eyes this for me was spilled my haters
and all the eight-year-old girls will
come together with their cornrows and
afro puffs and we would come together
and get ready to to our kids my sign
Sagittarius back home right because
everyone knows I’m gonna buy a good day
was when the fire hydrants were loose
and we were able to let the water splash
all over our body Tito Puente
we heard out of the bailiffs home and
too late that Seattle’s reminded us that
it was time to get home before the
lights came on and then I was told I was
going to a new school I would wake up at
4 a.m. in the morning to leave Roxbury
and head to Shannon Massachusetts the
cement started to stop slowly change
into green grass and I knew I was
somewhere different because when I
entered the classroom all I could see
was a sea of vanilla faces and there I
stood chocolatine assumptions had played
a major part of my life
and many mistakes my personal journey
today I invite you to walk with me down
memory lane as I share a few stories
that have shaped my journey and shifted
my perspective the Metropolitan Council
for education opportunity also known as
the Metro program was designed to help
inner-city students have a broader
education I was a medical student and
for two years I worked on changing my
language enhancing my writing and
developing my communication skills now
my Roxbury friends they definitely could
see the difference they would say things
like oh you sound like a white girl
George a game of kickball my shouting
friends on the other inputs
oh my goodness did you see the news did
you hear about the murder were you there
last week every now and then a few
people would say you should feel really
grateful for being a part of this
program and I’m so grateful I could
always tell those who are doubting my
potential but it wasn’t always that bad
with time I was able to join a number of
civic groups and really began to find my
book I can’t be me there is nobody like
to meet my preaching floor my destiny as
a freshman I entered the University of
Massachusetts Amherst and that 17 years
old I was on a mission to understand who
I was but there were a few professors
who really had a profound influence on
my life I tell you when I first saw
professor Alex de Xiang’s I’ll never
forget it because she looked like
superwoman with the Cape and she talked
to us about woman icons like Sojourner
Truth then Toni Morrison she reminded us
to use our voices as college females and
we became very appreciative of Sojourner
truths very popular speech ain’t IA
woman she also challenged us if we did
not work hard to try even better that
next time I would enroll into a course
about identity now this instructor was
interesting because when I saw her she
has long brown hair a part in the middle
she definitely looked like she could
the sixties and again she had a vanilla
face she simply said just call me
kaolin and she talked about stories of
color in them she talked about racism
and she also experienced her own journey
because she married men of a different
race and had biracial children this
instructor really caught my attention
but how could I ever forget professor
Nicholas McBride the journalism
department he allowed me to create an
independent study where I was able to
merge art and culture together and I’m
sort of Miles Davis i absorb sarabande
and dental fix drove I could be found
singing blue skies smell let me talk
about those guys if I see even though I
knew in the 1930s many Americans were
struggling to reach that American dream
but I continued and I really felt like
an archaeologist I got into the elevator
of the UMass Amherst library with all
the way to the top of the 11th floor and
there I smuggled with four books I read
the stories about the separate fountains
I asked myself what would life be like
if I have to sit at the back of the
booth
if what ruler King were here today what
would you say to me
whoa I joined the newspaper I spoke on
the radio and I even began to create
different types of social groups I
started to try to answer that question
and I began to write rational minds eats
with B plus oppressed with intricate
weaves of hatred questioning tools that
food from your external or internal you
tell me you lying lips for baby wet
softly sleeping from the dry stretch
dripping down the corner of your lips
crocodile wonder as you say I’m sorry
but sorry don’t cut the game-droid
babies I was burning for answers and my
college experience was truly eye-opening
I resolved that I would offer what
Professor Deschamps kaolin and mr.
Nicholas McBride did for me that was the
gift of self-discovery many years later
I took the college years behind me I
didn’t reach my American dream I had the
two cars the house and even a jet for
cookouts but after three years I started
having excruciating pains and these
pains are so bad that I could be found
on the floor it is curled up position
for two years I went to doctors trying
to find the answers to my problems and
finally a doctor said Ilana you have
endometriosis I said what no
endometriosis
condition where the uterine lining which
would normally be the spell during a
flow begins to grow in other areas
within your body symptoms include
extreme pain and also a challenge with
giving birth when I heard this diagnosis
I felt stunted I mean I assumed that to
be a bull I had to have three children
by the age of 35 you see for five years
I began to ask myself why did I have
this quick this condition for five years
I stopped writing
I stopped creating and I stopped
initiating anything new I even hated
going to parties where I could find
other woman I went to this one party
this woman came up to me with her hands
open wide and she said I felt dejected
and confused around 2:00 a.m. in the
morning I laid in my bed with my head
looking at the ceiling saying why did
all of these things happen to me I think
why did this Pablo have to interrupt my
friends I know you’ve been through all
of these things I know the pain you have
a daughter what would life be like if
you only had 100
days to live I planted some water and a
song came to mind you’ve gotta learn
this new line
not my life you happy for some what
would you do it 120 days
something with babies immediately
shifted I woke up the next morning I
pulled out journals that I had tucked of
my closet for 14 years and I got in my
car and drove to Starbucks and there I
began to write my first self-help book
tomorrow can’t wait I decided I would
birth a new me and I resolved that I
would be happy just this past month I
had the opportunity to share my story
with a group of woman at the climates
where branch of the box of public
library I saw the Nilla faces I saw
marine places pecan faces and I shared
my story at the end of my workshop I
looked up and saw a 30 year old woman
coming up to me she had tears in her
eyes and she said to me you have changed
my life today if you did not decide to
do this I would never have been able to
hear your story in that moment I felt
her for two minutes and I knew within
her a happened what would you do if
you only had 120 days or to do something
new but you just kept putting it off
perhaps you told yourself it’s too late
now so much time as God mine what I
would like to leave you with these three
blocks another one what would happen if
you were able to wipe the slate
you know start completely over and
forgive yourself for the many years that
you may have developed resentment number
two how about revisiting some of the
goals that you have for yourself we
cannot fully appreciate a butterfly
unless we understand the caterpillar
that it was truly change takes process
and lastly we can all be reminded of
that eight-year-old within us that
challenges us to live with birth birth
and excitement with the goal of becoming
at bestsellers you see 120 days is the
idea that we can all live our lives with
a sense of urgency normal motivational
speaker Les Brown says that the richest
place on earth is in the grave where
people have buried their talents and
their gifts but that does not have to be
you so I encourage you to have what I
call eyes find moments of stillness
because you might be amazed at just what
you discover because you’ve gotta let
this be love not live like you’ve had
before so what would you do with 120
days
[Applause]
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