[Music]
in my life I’ve always heard from many
people that you cannot change your
future your future is controlled by the
Almighty it’s controlled by your Khurram
it’s controlled by whatever you want to
think you cannot change your future you
cannot control it I think that’s wrong I
think that we have the capability to
control the future and I want to give
you an example through my life and how
my choices in how my decisions with
those I have changed my future so the
yoga’s 2006 August May raucous 2006 to
be exact and a fun fact about me I am
from the US I was raised there for 17
years so I had just come back from a
trip to India I’d come back to the US
and I started getting a fever a halo
kind of a headache that would surround
my head and this wasn’t an ordinary
temple headache it was much much worse
it wasn’t even a migraine and with that
I started feeling cold and my my fever
was running to 103 104 and that was not
normal I went to my doctor and my doctor
told me that it’s probably just a
seasonal fever it’s a viral kind of
thing you should take something like a
paracetamol across in and you will be
fine I took that and it didn’t help I
the people were surprised and after the
medicine wore off the people would jump
right back so then because of that we
went to the emergency room in the US and
they did all of the tests when necessary
it as possible every test was negative
the doctors even did a spinal tap and
that was all negative after that I went
home you know my mom even actually told
them that I probably have malaria it was
during the monsoon season in India they
said that the symptoms are similar but
we cannot give her any
education because it did not show up in
the reports and it’s unlawful we went
home and I took crocin again and after
that I started hallucinating so I was
talking nonsense I didn’t know what I
was saying and I was telling my mom and
dad to just be away from me because I
didn’t recognize them and after I I went
back to sleep and I woke up and
everything was totally fine when I woke
up I went to the West the rest room and
I was not able to walk properly I
couldn’t even go to the other so my mom
and dad took me to the emergency room
and they inserted a tube into my bladder
and they believed me they transferred me
to a bigger hospital where they did all
of the necessary tests possible they did
an MRI and supposedly they saw something
at the back of my neck a shadow or
something and they took me in for
another spinal tap and after that spinal
tap I went into cardiac arrest
I wanted to respiratory arrest I had a
seizure that lasted 30 seconds and I was
declared dead I was laying on the
testing table dead with my arms out not
I was unconscious I couldn’t breathe I
was dead and the doctors are paid to
code blue which is a severe emergency
and everyone is running around and my my
nurse comes to my mom and she says if
you want to see your daughter for the
last time mrs. Modi you better come with
me
my mom in my mom and dad they ran like
anything and they saw me and all of
these doctors were surrounding me they
were giving me electric shocks with a
defibrillator and they said that we will
not be able to save your daughter your
daughter is a gone case and my body was
laying there for the past seven minutes
without oxygen without a pulse without
any consciousness
and after the third try I an ICU doctor
came and he took those electric paddles
and after the third try he caught my
heart pack my note path but he caught my
heart bag I was transferred to the ICU
and I was put on a ventilator and that
evening I came in to my senses and I was
totally fine I could recognize everybody
the next day they took me for another
spinal tap and I went into a coma so I
was in a coma for a twenty three day
period during which I was declared dead
twice so the first time what happened is
my body temperature went below 90
degrees Fahrenheit and they have no idea
they don’t know what happened
they put heated blankets on me heated
lamps surrounding my bed and my body
temperatures still wouldn’t rise and
after 40 minutes they took everything
off and like a miracle
everything just regulated on its own the
second time my hemoglobin went below
five now the normal is 13 or 14 it went
below five so I was again declared
critical because they thought that I
would get hypothermia and they gave me
three units of blood after 40 minutes
they checked my blood count and my
hemoglobin still wasn’t it was still
below five after an hour just
miraculously it regulated on its own now
on the 21st of September the doctors
wanted to take me over by ventilator
because there were no improvements there
was nothing there was no life in me
according to them so my mom was she was
sitting right there
my mom she literally went down on her
feet she grabbed his feet and she cried
now this woman is the strongest woman I
know and she cried that day she didn’t
cry during the whole time I was in the
coma she didn’t cry when I went into
respiratory arrest but that day she
cried and she said that no my daughter’s
birthday is on the 29th of
Temba I want you to keep her on the
ventilator and alive until then and if
that day nothing happens I will
personally sign the consent form right
now giving you permission to take her
off of the ventilator they spoke to the
Dean of Medicine and the Dean of
Medicine said okay fulfill her wishes so
on the 29th of September I had 70 people
all of my family members my family
friends they were in the ICU room and
they had decorated everything and there
was a cake and everything there and at 3
or 5 p.m. that was the time when I was
born they started singing happy birthday
my dad took my hand and as soon as he
cut the cake I opened my eyes and I was
staring at the ceiling and everybody was
screaming and the doctors rushed in they
did a grief checkup and they said they
hugged my mom and they said mrs. Modi
mama this is because of you
your daughter is alive today because of
you you saved us from committing a sin
hats off to you I went back into a coma
after I would say maybe ten minutes I
went back into a coma so they were
scared again they thought that what’s
going to happen to me but the doctor
guaranteed and he assured them that
everything would be totally fine on the
5th of October they took me into the O
War and they took the ventilator out of
my mouth and they put it into my throat
I have a scar yeah if you can see and I
came out of my coma after the anesthesia
wore off I totally came out of my coma
now they were scared that I might I
might be mentally ill I might have
amnesia or I might be brain dead and
nothing happened at all I was totally
fine except that I was paralyzed from
the neck down now I did not realize it
at that time that I was paralyzed from
the neck down if you heard of phantom
when a soldier loses a body part he can
still feel that that body part is there
or he can still feel that he can move
his fingers or one of his limbs
I felt that I felt that I was able to
raise my hands I was able to move my
fingers but in reality I couldn’t and
nobody told me this
except my grandmother she told me after
a couple of days that I am paralyzed at
that point in time when she told me I
became silent I didn’t talk to anybody I
guess because I was processing this
information and I realized at that point
in time is that it doesn’t matter if my
body is not able to move if I believe
that I am able to move it my body will
adapt towards it my body will react to
it and I did physiotherapy I did
everything that thought never left my
mind even though I still wasn’t able to
move as much now one thing that really
changed my mindset is an exercise that
my mother did so I was sitting I wasn’t
able to sit properly either
like I said paralyzed from the neck down
so I was like a newborn baby I wasn’t
able to sit so what happened is my mom
she sat me up against the sofa in our
house at that time and I told her that
I’m hungry I would like to eat something
so she I don’t know what she was
thinking but she got a couple of bowls
and she put my favorite crackers into
those bowls and she laid it across out
of across from me so I was sitting on
the floor against the sofa and as you
can imagine these bowls I hear here here
and here
and I just look at her and I asked her
mom why are these balls here just give
me something to eat I’m hungry can you
feed me she sits behind me and she says
if you’re hungry go get it yourself
I’m not your maid I’m Your Mother I also
get tired taking care of you and she was
extremely rude at that time and she was
really mean to me but she said do it
yourself you your body you can move you
can do everything you do it and you feed
yourself and I looked at her with tears
in my eyes I said okay fine if you want
me to do this if you if you believe in
me then I need to believe in myself and
I need to go and do this you won’t
believe it took me 40 minutes just to
crawl and put it down to the ground to
pull myself towards the ball and after
those 40 minutes I picked up one cracker
with my fingers and I picked it up like
this like this I couldn’t pick up
anything with these fingers so like this
I picked it up and I put that cracker in
my mouth and that satisfaction that
satisfaction of doing something by
myself
despite not having enough movement that
was a life-changing moment for me that
moment I realized that my mindset if I
can believe that I can do this then I
can do anything I can do anything that I
want to do and at that point in time
when I realize that picking something as
simple as a cracker and putting it in my
mouth if that can give me satisfaction I
just imagine what I what else I can do
in my life to give me satisfaction to
make me feel independent
rather than dependent and that thought
process that stuck to me that brought
that part process stuck to me and I
realized that I need to move forward
that my decisions the way that I think
positively that will affect my future
that will change everything for me now I
realized that a lot of my friends
personally they are very negative in
their mindset they think that they
cannot do this or
or they cannot do that so you saw a
picture of me going scuba diving so I’ve
always wanted to do that and I thought
that how will I go scuba diving
I can’t move my legs how will I swim and
essentially scuba diving is like
drowning essentially so how will I do
that but then I saw this festival this
Mumbai underwater festival and they told
me that those with disabilities can go
scuba diving so I said ok but you know
what I’m gonna do this doesn’t matter if
I have a disability if I believe in my
mind that I’m disabled then I will not
be able to do anything in my mind I’m
not disabled so that’s another reason
why I am against these words they’ve
young the clong differently abled
specially abled especially challenged I
am against those words the reason being
is it’s kind of like a satisfaction it’s
a euphemism to try to make you feel
better about yourself I’m differently
abled how am i differently abled I am
able to do everything that you’re able
to do today the only difference is is
you can take the steps I take a ramp I
mean this is my lifeline right now your
legs are your lifeline so we are both
dependent on our lifelines so how is
that any different from you and another
one another thing is people assume that
being disabled is abnormal so please
tell me one thing what is normal
can someone give me an answer to that is
anything normal
so according a I’m a vegetarian so it’s
just a brief example I’m a vegetarian
eating meat is abnormal to me but it
might be normal to avoid a
non-vegetarian so normalcy is
actually subjective who are we to judge
what is normal and what is abnormal so
these this mindset it needs to be out of
our mind we need to we need to change
this and once we change these
mentalities and this this mindset of us
that is the only way that we will
progress towards the future otherwise we
will be stuck where we are thank you
[Music]
[Applause]
in my life I’ve always heard from many
people that you cannot change your
future your future is controlled by the
Almighty it’s controlled by your Khurram
it’s controlled by whatever you want to
think you cannot change your future you
cannot control it I think that’s wrong I
think that we have the capability to
control the future and I want to give
you an example through my life and how
my choices in how my decisions with
those I have changed my future so the
yoga’s 2006 August May raucous 2006 to
be exact and a fun fact about me I am
from the US I was raised there for 17
years so I had just come back from a
trip to India I’d come back to the US
and I started getting a fever a halo
kind of a headache that would surround
my head and this wasn’t an ordinary
temple headache it was much much worse
it wasn’t even a migraine and with that
I started feeling cold and my my fever
was running to 103 104 and that was not
normal I went to my doctor and my doctor
told me that it’s probably just a
seasonal fever it’s a viral kind of
thing you should take something like a
paracetamol across in and you will be
fine I took that and it didn’t help I
the people were surprised and after the
medicine wore off the people would jump
right back so then because of that we
went to the emergency room in the US and
they did all of the tests when necessary
it as possible every test was negative
the doctors even did a spinal tap and
that was all negative after that I went
home you know my mom even actually told
them that I probably have malaria it was
during the monsoon season in India they
said that the symptoms are similar but
we cannot give her any
education because it did not show up in
the reports and it’s unlawful we went
home and I took crocin again and after
that I started hallucinating so I was
talking nonsense I didn’t know what I
was saying and I was telling my mom and
dad to just be away from me because I
didn’t recognize them and after I I went
back to sleep and I woke up and
everything was totally fine when I woke
up I went to the West the rest room and
I was not able to walk properly I
couldn’t even go to the other so my mom
and dad took me to the emergency room
and they inserted a tube into my bladder
and they believed me they transferred me
to a bigger hospital where they did all
of the necessary tests possible they did
an MRI and supposedly they saw something
at the back of my neck a shadow or
something and they took me in for
another spinal tap and after that spinal
tap I went into cardiac arrest
I wanted to respiratory arrest I had a
seizure that lasted 30 seconds and I was
declared dead I was laying on the
testing table dead with my arms out not
I was unconscious I couldn’t breathe I
was dead and the doctors are paid to
code blue which is a severe emergency
and everyone is running around and my my
nurse comes to my mom and she says if
you want to see your daughter for the
last time mrs. Modi you better come with
me
my mom in my mom and dad they ran like
anything and they saw me and all of
these doctors were surrounding me they
were giving me electric shocks with a
defibrillator and they said that we will
not be able to save your daughter your
daughter is a gone case and my body was
laying there for the past seven minutes
without oxygen without a pulse without
any consciousness
and after the third try I an ICU doctor
came and he took those electric paddles
and after the third try he caught my
heart pack my note path but he caught my
heart bag I was transferred to the ICU
and I was put on a ventilator and that
evening I came in to my senses and I was
totally fine I could recognize everybody
the next day they took me for another
spinal tap and I went into a coma so I
was in a coma for a twenty three day
period during which I was declared dead
twice so the first time what happened is
my body temperature went below 90
degrees Fahrenheit and they have no idea
they don’t know what happened
they put heated blankets on me heated
lamps surrounding my bed and my body
temperatures still wouldn’t rise and
after 40 minutes they took everything
off and like a miracle
everything just regulated on its own the
second time my hemoglobin went below
five now the normal is 13 or 14 it went
below five so I was again declared
critical because they thought that I
would get hypothermia and they gave me
three units of blood after 40 minutes
they checked my blood count and my
hemoglobin still wasn’t it was still
below five after an hour just
miraculously it regulated on its own now
on the 21st of September the doctors
wanted to take me over by ventilator
because there were no improvements there
was nothing there was no life in me
according to them so my mom was she was
sitting right there
my mom she literally went down on her
feet she grabbed his feet and she cried
now this woman is the strongest woman I
know and she cried that day she didn’t
cry during the whole time I was in the
coma she didn’t cry when I went into
respiratory arrest but that day she
cried and she said that no my daughter’s
birthday is on the 29th of
Temba I want you to keep her on the
ventilator and alive until then and if
that day nothing happens I will
personally sign the consent form right
now giving you permission to take her
off of the ventilator they spoke to the
Dean of Medicine and the Dean of
Medicine said okay fulfill her wishes so
on the 29th of September I had 70 people
all of my family members my family
friends they were in the ICU room and
they had decorated everything and there
was a cake and everything there and at 3
or 5 p.m. that was the time when I was
born they started singing happy birthday
my dad took my hand and as soon as he
cut the cake I opened my eyes and I was
staring at the ceiling and everybody was
screaming and the doctors rushed in they
did a grief checkup and they said they
hugged my mom and they said mrs. Modi
mama this is because of you
your daughter is alive today because of
you you saved us from committing a sin
hats off to you I went back into a coma
after I would say maybe ten minutes I
went back into a coma so they were
scared again they thought that what’s
going to happen to me but the doctor
guaranteed and he assured them that
everything would be totally fine on the
5th of October they took me into the O
War and they took the ventilator out of
my mouth and they put it into my throat
I have a scar yeah if you can see and I
came out of my coma after the anesthesia
wore off I totally came out of my coma
now they were scared that I might I
might be mentally ill I might have
amnesia or I might be brain dead and
nothing happened at all I was totally
fine except that I was paralyzed from
the neck down now I did not realize it
at that time that I was paralyzed from
the neck down if you heard of phantom
when a soldier loses a body part he can
still feel that that body part is there
or he can still feel that he can move
his fingers or one of his limbs
I felt that I felt that I was able to
raise my hands I was able to move my
fingers but in reality I couldn’t and
nobody told me this
except my grandmother she told me after
a couple of days that I am paralyzed at
that point in time when she told me I
became silent I didn’t talk to anybody I
guess because I was processing this
information and I realized at that point
in time is that it doesn’t matter if my
body is not able to move if I believe
that I am able to move it my body will
adapt towards it my body will react to
it and I did physiotherapy I did
everything that thought never left my
mind even though I still wasn’t able to
move as much now one thing that really
changed my mindset is an exercise that
my mother did so I was sitting I wasn’t
able to sit properly either
like I said paralyzed from the neck down
so I was like a newborn baby I wasn’t
able to sit so what happened is my mom
she sat me up against the sofa in our
house at that time and I told her that
I’m hungry I would like to eat something
so she I don’t know what she was
thinking but she got a couple of bowls
and she put my favorite crackers into
those bowls and she laid it across out
of across from me so I was sitting on
the floor against the sofa and as you
can imagine these bowls I hear here here
and here
and I just look at her and I asked her
mom why are these balls here just give
me something to eat I’m hungry can you
feed me she sits behind me and she says
if you’re hungry go get it yourself
I’m not your maid I’m Your Mother I also
get tired taking care of you and she was
extremely rude at that time and she was
really mean to me but she said do it
yourself you your body you can move you
can do everything you do it and you feed
yourself and I looked at her with tears
in my eyes I said okay fine if you want
me to do this if you if you believe in
me then I need to believe in myself and
I need to go and do this you won’t
believe it took me 40 minutes just to
crawl and put it down to the ground to
pull myself towards the ball and after
those 40 minutes I picked up one cracker
with my fingers and I picked it up like
this like this I couldn’t pick up
anything with these fingers so like this
I picked it up and I put that cracker in
my mouth and that satisfaction that
satisfaction of doing something by
myself
despite not having enough movement that
was a life-changing moment for me that
moment I realized that my mindset if I
can believe that I can do this then I
can do anything I can do anything that I
want to do and at that point in time
when I realize that picking something as
simple as a cracker and putting it in my
mouth if that can give me satisfaction I
just imagine what I what else I can do
in my life to give me satisfaction to
make me feel independent
rather than dependent and that thought
process that stuck to me that brought
that part process stuck to me and I
realized that I need to move forward
that my decisions the way that I think
positively that will affect my future
that will change everything for me now I
realized that a lot of my friends
personally they are very negative in
their mindset they think that they
cannot do this or
or they cannot do that so you saw a
picture of me going scuba diving so I’ve
always wanted to do that and I thought
that how will I go scuba diving
I can’t move my legs how will I swim and
essentially scuba diving is like
drowning essentially so how will I do
that but then I saw this festival this
Mumbai underwater festival and they told
me that those with disabilities can go
scuba diving so I said ok but you know
what I’m gonna do this doesn’t matter if
I have a disability if I believe in my
mind that I’m disabled then I will not
be able to do anything in my mind I’m
not disabled so that’s another reason
why I am against these words they’ve
young the clong differently abled
specially abled especially challenged I
am against those words the reason being
is it’s kind of like a satisfaction it’s
a euphemism to try to make you feel
better about yourself I’m differently
abled how am i differently abled I am
able to do everything that you’re able
to do today the only difference is is
you can take the steps I take a ramp I
mean this is my lifeline right now your
legs are your lifeline so we are both
dependent on our lifelines so how is
that any different from you and another
one another thing is people assume that
being disabled is abnormal so please
tell me one thing what is normal
can someone give me an answer to that is
anything normal
so according a I’m a vegetarian so it’s
just a brief example I’m a vegetarian
eating meat is abnormal to me but it
might be normal to avoid a
non-vegetarian so normalcy is
actually subjective who are we to judge
what is normal and what is abnormal so
these this mindset it needs to be out of
our mind we need to we need to change
this and once we change these
mentalities and this this mindset of us
that is the only way that we will
progress towards the future otherwise we
will be stuck where we are thank you
[Music]
[Applause]
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