the fastest way to kill a poetry
performances to be generic the fastest
way to kill a dream is to suffocate it
squeeze out every last breath widget
between the words realistic and
unattainable wrap it in blankets of
self-doubt and tell it it has no place
here ostracize and outcast until no one
recognizes its face or speaks its name
kill off passion make sure that if the
dream ever dares to show its face here
again the dream has no friends and
nowhere to stay so when they tell you
you can be anything you want to be they
mean something within reason within the
constructs of a society that dictates
what is acceptable find a job that is
acceptable silence your passion watch
your dreams like a silent movie on
repeat when I tell them I’m a poet when
I tell them I am a poet they look at me
like a failed business venture sorry we
can’t meet with you call us back when
you have a stronger proposal poets and
entrepreneurs both know convention is
just convenience we use to convince
ourselves that our dreams are worthless
that we are worth less than is customary
convicting us with no judge and a fact
lacking jury Your Honor I move to
dismiss the motion of the notion of the
continuous quote status quo you can’t
quell my concern yes you can direct
quote me on that let’s recap they say
they like my flow but I know that it
means that we object to this rejection
let the record show we know it is never
about the final destination it is about
how badly we want to get there this is
for people who want to get there the
underdogs who know they can beat the
odds when the deck is clearly stacked
against them these are people who know
it can happen when muggles believe in
magic they look to new horizons like
Frodo leaving the Shire scared but
determined they are not misfits they are
perfectly placed apostrophes the
difference between y-o-u apostrophe re
and your this is about survivors like us
skin grown thick like armored riding
through life like a battlefield we are
knuckles bruised from knocking on doors
that said they’d never open because our
ideas were never good enough but the
same people the same people rejecting us
are the same people who used the flower
crown filter and forget that snapchat
was a start-up those who stuff the
makers have changed like monsters and
boxes and bedtime stories forced to roam
around under cover of darkness the ones
who forgot how sleep feels because their
dreams are more important than
no wonder they say 2 a.m. was made for
the artists we know this is not the
quickest way to become famous it is
about looking at what is and figuring
out how to change it it is about life
slapping you across the face and you
screaming it back I got this this is me
this is me being asked to spell the word
unnecessary and the 6th grade spelling
bee replacing to C with an s to s is
with a C tripping over my words not
seeing what I was saying stuttering off
the stage in shame and coming back a
slam Queen this is for him who knows
this app can revolutionize the way we
see business saves his allowance because
investors won’t take a chance on someone
orange with just a dream and a business
plan under the age of 19 this is for her
with a passion that can outshine the
stars in a voice like an anthem we’ve
lost too many stars to this life’s
brutal clenched fist this is not a
motivational speech this is a call to
create communities of creators engineers
of ideas it is knowing that no amount of
training and social conditioning can
change what you believe in so open your
arms leave your hearts out like a
welcome mat turn on the porch lights
it’s been a starless night for far too
long but the dreams no but the dreams no
it’s time to come home
so I’m I’m I’m Afra a teacher I know
they tell you to snap if you hear
something you like but I don’t mind
applause so if here’s something you love
please applaud lets me know that I’m
doing a good job
I love spoken word poetry I’m a spoken
word poet and spoken word basically is
poetry that demands to be experienced
there’s something about spoken word that
leaps off the page and it it comes to
the stage and it’s meant to be
experienced as a holistic artistic just
an involvement and it’s something that I
it’s something that I love I mean the
only thing that I it’s like it’s food
and spoken word poetry there is really
nothing there’s really nothing in the
middle and spoken word poetry I mean
that’s the conventional definition but
let’s face it there’s nothing
conventional about me at all and I tried
to figure out a definition that wasn’t
as conventional something that was
different and so I started looking and
the most beautiful definition that I
found for a spoken word poetry is a lot
of people say it’s a shot on Montauk but
I prefer to call it a shot of her that
literally translates the free verse
poetry but what I love about it is that
it’s not actually free verse poetry so
Sharon is a Cheryl le terre mine L was
in well Kavya and so it’s poetry that
has been liberated from the confines of
meter and rhyme how amazing is that when
I started doing poetry I I had this idea
as many people do that it’s something
new and I’m doing something cottage in
my new off and this is me and I’m gonna
be on stage and they’re gonna come up
for me and yeah you know and we’re all
gonna get fed afterwards obviously it’s
there are a lot of people who think that
the spoken word poetry is is new and I
would respectfully disagree with that
because it’s not new to the region if
you look at people like better Chaka say
up if you look at Nazca these are people
who have been practicing this this art
form of free verse poetry for a very
long time within the region so they’re
there I’m very proud and blessed and
humbled to be part of that to be part of
that legacy and that continued
journey and so when I started doing
spoken word poetry I started talking
about you know you think big they tell
you to think big think don’t think this
big thing cuz that big think big enough
that you can’t even fit your idea into a
room and you would never want to fit
your idea into a room anyways and so I
started writing about all of the things
that bothered me about the world I
started talking about the big issues and
the things that I thought my poetry was
going to change and what happened was I
started losing myself it became very
externalizing it was me looking at these
issues talking about them and I look at
these poems and I think okay that’s
great we need to talk about these issues
but where is the flaw after winner
Ashley should say if I show a host of
had mobile and so I started telling my
story and I wanted to talk about things
that were relatable and so I went back
to my childhood I’m a quintessential
quintessential middle child if that
tells you anything about me and I wanted
to write a poem about my childhood so
this is a poem about my childhood and if
you hear something you like it’s not
very loud I know either but Pacific
winter either harder applicable from the
Train let me assemble a shareable Arabi
when I think about childhood I think
about innocence I think about backyard
swings and tire things the good old days
a Yamatai beam it has been more than ten
years since I’ve seen the inside of a
classroom more than 15 since I’ve seen a
blackboard and chalk I remember the days
when we had a blackboard in chalk I
remember when if you couldn’t talk the
talk you needed to walk the walk in the
playground I remember when you couldn’t
wait to get to fourth grade because that
meant you didn’t have to write with
pencils or even upgrade it depends
I remember when at bottom not Kahn and
the come on TV detective Vogel character
Abdullah better stuff and loves him got
a job with passing notes and classes
passing notes in class are you my friend
circle yes or no circle yes or no circle
yes or no I always wrote maybe back to
the days when punishment was Afra go
stand at the back of the class turn
around take one foot off the ground
I’d stay there but as soon as the
teacher would turn his back I would say
stuff ahead Terra no one cares about
calculus we’re never gonna use it again
don’t lie to us we talked we talked
through MSN Messenger and nothing says
embarrassment like your first username
and yes I’m looking at you Madras okay
Emma cool guys seven three two one a
good dog and príncipe weekends were
special weekends were for watching TV at
the birthday parties when the cake with
Captain Majid came out nobody paused to
say Lama
with a snap we learned about
relationships from Cory and Topanga and
let’s face it everyone wanted to have an
Uncle Jesse entertainment one went
watching TV and not counting likes and
repost drama was both in the beautiful
we watched VHS on tiny screens in Will
Smith was the freshest Fresh Prince
relationships were authentic none of
this instant low instant like insta good
into the bad as the tag broke mine start
with his insta-love now I drowned my
institution my imaginary insta coffee
cup but we played Atari My dear dear
Atari Xbox has nothing on you an iPad
can’t compare with your worth you’re a
better than Sega ps2 3/4 Nintendo Cuban
64 all rolled into one and my favorite
song though we started with tenet dun
dun dun dun Nokia phones Nokia phones
taught us about pain when it says just a
minute us mother would some text may be
missing something is missing stricken
from the record for the record I think
it’s okay that Zayn left one direction
it was we we survived the breakup of boy
zone Backstreet Boys NSYNC Britney
Spears and Justin Timberlake we remember
when once upon a time Justin Timberlake
had hair
because we were the kings and queens of
invention
we were 90s kids we were the generations
of tape recorders and Walkmans before
there were mp3s and DVDs we’re the
Knights of night time are you afraid of
the dark Sui were the graphic t-shirts
which may or may not have had spice
coats on them before the Plain White T’s
showed up we are the jail of Crystal
Maze we have the memory stored on floppy
disks we are we are viewfinders we are
birthday parties in Hardee’s we are hey
yeah in my name we are if the handsome
sum above but applaud the applies have
now become the applaud of course to be
reckoned with for all the world to see
we were genotyping if you were like me
and you’re feeling slightly old after
hearing all of these things it was a
good time and I think that times were I
think that times were simpler and you
know that when younger they tell you
things like how many times have you
heard this follow your heart
go confidently towards the direction of
your dreams the journey of a thousand
miles starts with one step nobody tells
you that it’s one step and then it’s 90
stop signs and week they tell you to
shoot for the moon they tell you all of
these motivational things but nobody
actually tells you that the reality of
going after your dreams and finding
something that you love is actually it’s
beautiful but it’s also painful and very
very ugly nobody tells you that when you
follow your dreams I used to be had a
very corporate cushy job and I left that
job to become a poet and so now I’m a
full-time poet and I’ve never been
happier but it hasn’t been easy nobody
tells you that when you decide to follow
your dreams and pursue your passions you
are going to end up with less friends
than you started out with nobody tells
you that there are going to be days when
you don’t even want to get out of bed
nobody’s going to tell you that things
are maybe not going to work out you’re
going to hit 75 speed bumps before you
get like I don’t know this much of like
normalcy and then you go back
the speed bumps nobody tells you this
that there are no red lights in the land
of stop signs and I am NOT here to
discourage you from pursuing what it is
that you want to pursue I love poetry
and I love performance as much as I love
food and that was very hard for me to
admit but the thing is when you do when
you find that thing that that makes you
happen sometimes it’s a person I haven’t
found him yet but sup I am told that
there will be a person but when you find
those those things that make you happy
it’s it’s completely worth it and I
think with poetry the people will often
underestimate poetry how many of you
walked in here today thinking oh it’s
poetry it’s gonna be really worn you can
tell me it’s okay
it’s like one hand in the audience okay
I know that there’s more but it’s okay
but the thing is we underestimate the
weight of words so I’m going to share a
personal story and then end with a poem
the personal story which nobody before
TEDx fujairah has heard when I was 12
years old when I was 12 years old there
was a boy and this boy was talking to
one of his friends and he said oh we
heard after school by the buses we heard
that you like Efron 12 years old you
know what the boy said the boy said I
could never love Africa she’s ugly
twelve years old I have carried that
with me for the past twenty years so I
will defy anyone who tells me that words
are just words because they are never
just words but you know what happened is
I’ve carried that weight for twenty
years and then I wrote a poem about it
20 years later and so I wrote a poem
about it and I performed it and I I put
it on I think I put it on YouTube er I
don’t remember I put it but it put it
out there and when you when you perform
poetry it’s like baring your soul it is
literally like taking your soul and
putting it here this is my soul
and I put it out there and I get this
message on social media from this girl
and she says I went through that and I
didn’t know what to say I thought it was
a one-off thing I thought it was me and
in her in her thing she says I went
through that and it helped me that you
were talking about this and I know that
I’m not alone I know that I’m not the
only one and this is my message if you
forget anything that I have said to you
in the last I don’t know how long it’s
been the last 10 minutes if you do not
remember anything else from what I tell
you or what I say or you laugh or you
snap and poetry remember this you are
important your stories are important to
your words matter you matter and this is
what that girl told me she said you
showed me that I matter and I cried for
a couple of hours after that night and I
I have her letter like I printed up and
I framed it and so on days when I feel
like I can’t do this and I don’t want to
do this and I don’t want people to see
my soul that I don’t want to know I
don’t want people to know last 20 years
I’ve been you know thinking about Flum
been flown who said you could never love
me he’s not cute by the way and it’s
it’s a constant reminder that things are
worth it and that your words matter and
so I want to leave you with this last
poem it’s called an open letter to
cancer poetry forces you to confront
things that you would never normally
confront so this is an open letter to
cancer it’s a very personal poem it’s a
very special poem because it is an
award-winning poem it’s a poem that won
the oboe lobby music and art foundation
creativity award and it was the only
poem that’s ever won this award
for me it’s like it reminds me this was
my poetic validation this was the sign
that said okay this is your fine things
are gonna suck for a while but it’s fine
things get better get up and get up and
do it get up and do what people tell you
you can do they tell you you’re not
prettier you’re not you don’t look the
same way you’re supposed to look you’re
not following at all you’re not
following the right path you’re not
married to the right person you don’t
have the right hobbies you don’t have
the right last name you don’t have the
right connections you don’t have to
drive the right car you don’t try
whenever anyone tells you that you
remember that you matter and these words
matter and so I’m going to leave you
with this poem it’s called an open
letter to cancer that I know it is
customary to begin letters with dear but
there is nothing dear about you there
were no warning signs or symptoms there
was only awkward silence but silence can
have decibels louder than the speakers
of the boom box the block party the next
block over I’m not sure if the doctors
were handing out a treatment plan or a
life sentence to my grandmother every
word a conviction talking about odds and
options like we can opt out when we all
know cancer never really leaves it
hovers above our heads like a fallen
halo and waits inside our bones until it
thinks we’ve forgotten funny how cancer
cells also come with an unfair verdict
funny how they say laughter is the best
medicine funny how I love nothing more
than laughing through poems and snaps on
stages but I hate nothing more than
thinking about life in stages stages of
grief stages of her life Stage one we
caught it early we can fix it she can be
one of the six intent that makes it out
alive we’ve replaced dinner
conversations with ducks aruba s’en and
chemotherapy no family should ever have
to know these words so well that they
roll off the tips of their tongues Stage
two we’re still optimistic maybe we can
shrink it now it’s surgical partial
mastectomy two rounds of chemo they told
us you hate the light so we increase the
radiation but we still we still smile
through the pain when people ask about
the family we say we’re fine but fine is
the most not fine word it is what you
say when things are absolutely not fine
fine is the elephant in the
it’s the problem that never comes with a
solution stage three you’ve taken a
liking to her body spread from her left
breast through her lymph nodes full
mastectomy and chemo to stop you before
you leak into her bloodstream but you’ve
already grabbed hold of her throat and
she can’t speak but that’s Sunday that
Sunday she woke up crying and none of us
could understand why until hours later
we got the phone call about my uncle
being killed in the line of duty and not
even you could stop her from feeling
stage 4 pray made her more comfortable
got ready to say goodbye the doctors say
it’s terminal funny how they say
terminal like an airport terminal like
she’s about to go on vacation only she’s
probably never coming back
I wish I could sever my forever and
stitch it through all the parts of her
that doctors say they can’t fix life is
full of contradictions they say you
always remember the first and last words
you speak the last words my father ever
spoke to his mother on the day that she
died he said enough is enough let’s take
her home I know I know
it is customary to end letters with
sincerely but you can sir there is not
one sincere thing about you
oh yes I think we all deserve it louder
come on Teddy sweetie let me hear you
wow man
static suck that in let that sink in
beautiful crowd man Laura Hudson
remember that you matter thank you Wow
one more run applause for my sister
after I say thank you why
performances to be generic the fastest
way to kill a dream is to suffocate it
squeeze out every last breath widget
between the words realistic and
unattainable wrap it in blankets of
self-doubt and tell it it has no place
here ostracize and outcast until no one
recognizes its face or speaks its name
kill off passion make sure that if the
dream ever dares to show its face here
again the dream has no friends and
nowhere to stay so when they tell you
you can be anything you want to be they
mean something within reason within the
constructs of a society that dictates
what is acceptable find a job that is
acceptable silence your passion watch
your dreams like a silent movie on
repeat when I tell them I’m a poet when
I tell them I am a poet they look at me
like a failed business venture sorry we
can’t meet with you call us back when
you have a stronger proposal poets and
entrepreneurs both know convention is
just convenience we use to convince
ourselves that our dreams are worthless
that we are worth less than is customary
convicting us with no judge and a fact
lacking jury Your Honor I move to
dismiss the motion of the notion of the
continuous quote status quo you can’t
quell my concern yes you can direct
quote me on that let’s recap they say
they like my flow but I know that it
means that we object to this rejection
let the record show we know it is never
about the final destination it is about
how badly we want to get there this is
for people who want to get there the
underdogs who know they can beat the
odds when the deck is clearly stacked
against them these are people who know
it can happen when muggles believe in
magic they look to new horizons like
Frodo leaving the Shire scared but
determined they are not misfits they are
perfectly placed apostrophes the
difference between y-o-u apostrophe re
and your this is about survivors like us
skin grown thick like armored riding
through life like a battlefield we are
knuckles bruised from knocking on doors
that said they’d never open because our
ideas were never good enough but the
same people the same people rejecting us
are the same people who used the flower
crown filter and forget that snapchat
was a start-up those who stuff the
makers have changed like monsters and
boxes and bedtime stories forced to roam
around under cover of darkness the ones
who forgot how sleep feels because their
dreams are more important than
no wonder they say 2 a.m. was made for
the artists we know this is not the
quickest way to become famous it is
about looking at what is and figuring
out how to change it it is about life
slapping you across the face and you
screaming it back I got this this is me
this is me being asked to spell the word
unnecessary and the 6th grade spelling
bee replacing to C with an s to s is
with a C tripping over my words not
seeing what I was saying stuttering off
the stage in shame and coming back a
slam Queen this is for him who knows
this app can revolutionize the way we
see business saves his allowance because
investors won’t take a chance on someone
orange with just a dream and a business
plan under the age of 19 this is for her
with a passion that can outshine the
stars in a voice like an anthem we’ve
lost too many stars to this life’s
brutal clenched fist this is not a
motivational speech this is a call to
create communities of creators engineers
of ideas it is knowing that no amount of
training and social conditioning can
change what you believe in so open your
arms leave your hearts out like a
welcome mat turn on the porch lights
it’s been a starless night for far too
long but the dreams no but the dreams no
it’s time to come home
so I’m I’m I’m Afra a teacher I know
they tell you to snap if you hear
something you like but I don’t mind
applause so if here’s something you love
please applaud lets me know that I’m
doing a good job
I love spoken word poetry I’m a spoken
word poet and spoken word basically is
poetry that demands to be experienced
there’s something about spoken word that
leaps off the page and it it comes to
the stage and it’s meant to be
experienced as a holistic artistic just
an involvement and it’s something that I
it’s something that I love I mean the
only thing that I it’s like it’s food
and spoken word poetry there is really
nothing there’s really nothing in the
middle and spoken word poetry I mean
that’s the conventional definition but
let’s face it there’s nothing
conventional about me at all and I tried
to figure out a definition that wasn’t
as conventional something that was
different and so I started looking and
the most beautiful definition that I
found for a spoken word poetry is a lot
of people say it’s a shot on Montauk but
I prefer to call it a shot of her that
literally translates the free verse
poetry but what I love about it is that
it’s not actually free verse poetry so
Sharon is a Cheryl le terre mine L was
in well Kavya and so it’s poetry that
has been liberated from the confines of
meter and rhyme how amazing is that when
I started doing poetry I I had this idea
as many people do that it’s something
new and I’m doing something cottage in
my new off and this is me and I’m gonna
be on stage and they’re gonna come up
for me and yeah you know and we’re all
gonna get fed afterwards obviously it’s
there are a lot of people who think that
the spoken word poetry is is new and I
would respectfully disagree with that
because it’s not new to the region if
you look at people like better Chaka say
up if you look at Nazca these are people
who have been practicing this this art
form of free verse poetry for a very
long time within the region so they’re
there I’m very proud and blessed and
humbled to be part of that to be part of
that legacy and that continued
journey and so when I started doing
spoken word poetry I started talking
about you know you think big they tell
you to think big think don’t think this
big thing cuz that big think big enough
that you can’t even fit your idea into a
room and you would never want to fit
your idea into a room anyways and so I
started writing about all of the things
that bothered me about the world I
started talking about the big issues and
the things that I thought my poetry was
going to change and what happened was I
started losing myself it became very
externalizing it was me looking at these
issues talking about them and I look at
these poems and I think okay that’s
great we need to talk about these issues
but where is the flaw after winner
Ashley should say if I show a host of
had mobile and so I started telling my
story and I wanted to talk about things
that were relatable and so I went back
to my childhood I’m a quintessential
quintessential middle child if that
tells you anything about me and I wanted
to write a poem about my childhood so
this is a poem about my childhood and if
you hear something you like it’s not
very loud I know either but Pacific
winter either harder applicable from the
Train let me assemble a shareable Arabi
when I think about childhood I think
about innocence I think about backyard
swings and tire things the good old days
a Yamatai beam it has been more than ten
years since I’ve seen the inside of a
classroom more than 15 since I’ve seen a
blackboard and chalk I remember the days
when we had a blackboard in chalk I
remember when if you couldn’t talk the
talk you needed to walk the walk in the
playground I remember when you couldn’t
wait to get to fourth grade because that
meant you didn’t have to write with
pencils or even upgrade it depends
I remember when at bottom not Kahn and
the come on TV detective Vogel character
Abdullah better stuff and loves him got
a job with passing notes and classes
passing notes in class are you my friend
circle yes or no circle yes or no circle
yes or no I always wrote maybe back to
the days when punishment was Afra go
stand at the back of the class turn
around take one foot off the ground
I’d stay there but as soon as the
teacher would turn his back I would say
stuff ahead Terra no one cares about
calculus we’re never gonna use it again
don’t lie to us we talked we talked
through MSN Messenger and nothing says
embarrassment like your first username
and yes I’m looking at you Madras okay
Emma cool guys seven three two one a
good dog and príncipe weekends were
special weekends were for watching TV at
the birthday parties when the cake with
Captain Majid came out nobody paused to
say Lama
with a snap we learned about
relationships from Cory and Topanga and
let’s face it everyone wanted to have an
Uncle Jesse entertainment one went
watching TV and not counting likes and
repost drama was both in the beautiful
we watched VHS on tiny screens in Will
Smith was the freshest Fresh Prince
relationships were authentic none of
this instant low instant like insta good
into the bad as the tag broke mine start
with his insta-love now I drowned my
institution my imaginary insta coffee
cup but we played Atari My dear dear
Atari Xbox has nothing on you an iPad
can’t compare with your worth you’re a
better than Sega ps2 3/4 Nintendo Cuban
64 all rolled into one and my favorite
song though we started with tenet dun
dun dun dun Nokia phones Nokia phones
taught us about pain when it says just a
minute us mother would some text may be
missing something is missing stricken
from the record for the record I think
it’s okay that Zayn left one direction
it was we we survived the breakup of boy
zone Backstreet Boys NSYNC Britney
Spears and Justin Timberlake we remember
when once upon a time Justin Timberlake
had hair
because we were the kings and queens of
invention
we were 90s kids we were the generations
of tape recorders and Walkmans before
there were mp3s and DVDs we’re the
Knights of night time are you afraid of
the dark Sui were the graphic t-shirts
which may or may not have had spice
coats on them before the Plain White T’s
showed up we are the jail of Crystal
Maze we have the memory stored on floppy
disks we are we are viewfinders we are
birthday parties in Hardee’s we are hey
yeah in my name we are if the handsome
sum above but applaud the applies have
now become the applaud of course to be
reckoned with for all the world to see
we were genotyping if you were like me
and you’re feeling slightly old after
hearing all of these things it was a
good time and I think that times were I
think that times were simpler and you
know that when younger they tell you
things like how many times have you
heard this follow your heart
go confidently towards the direction of
your dreams the journey of a thousand
miles starts with one step nobody tells
you that it’s one step and then it’s 90
stop signs and week they tell you to
shoot for the moon they tell you all of
these motivational things but nobody
actually tells you that the reality of
going after your dreams and finding
something that you love is actually it’s
beautiful but it’s also painful and very
very ugly nobody tells you that when you
follow your dreams I used to be had a
very corporate cushy job and I left that
job to become a poet and so now I’m a
full-time poet and I’ve never been
happier but it hasn’t been easy nobody
tells you that when you decide to follow
your dreams and pursue your passions you
are going to end up with less friends
than you started out with nobody tells
you that there are going to be days when
you don’t even want to get out of bed
nobody’s going to tell you that things
are maybe not going to work out you’re
going to hit 75 speed bumps before you
get like I don’t know this much of like
normalcy and then you go back
the speed bumps nobody tells you this
that there are no red lights in the land
of stop signs and I am NOT here to
discourage you from pursuing what it is
that you want to pursue I love poetry
and I love performance as much as I love
food and that was very hard for me to
admit but the thing is when you do when
you find that thing that that makes you
happen sometimes it’s a person I haven’t
found him yet but sup I am told that
there will be a person but when you find
those those things that make you happy
it’s it’s completely worth it and I
think with poetry the people will often
underestimate poetry how many of you
walked in here today thinking oh it’s
poetry it’s gonna be really worn you can
tell me it’s okay
it’s like one hand in the audience okay
I know that there’s more but it’s okay
but the thing is we underestimate the
weight of words so I’m going to share a
personal story and then end with a poem
the personal story which nobody before
TEDx fujairah has heard when I was 12
years old when I was 12 years old there
was a boy and this boy was talking to
one of his friends and he said oh we
heard after school by the buses we heard
that you like Efron 12 years old you
know what the boy said the boy said I
could never love Africa she’s ugly
twelve years old I have carried that
with me for the past twenty years so I
will defy anyone who tells me that words
are just words because they are never
just words but you know what happened is
I’ve carried that weight for twenty
years and then I wrote a poem about it
20 years later and so I wrote a poem
about it and I performed it and I I put
it on I think I put it on YouTube er I
don’t remember I put it but it put it
out there and when you when you perform
poetry it’s like baring your soul it is
literally like taking your soul and
putting it here this is my soul
and I put it out there and I get this
message on social media from this girl
and she says I went through that and I
didn’t know what to say I thought it was
a one-off thing I thought it was me and
in her in her thing she says I went
through that and it helped me that you
were talking about this and I know that
I’m not alone I know that I’m not the
only one and this is my message if you
forget anything that I have said to you
in the last I don’t know how long it’s
been the last 10 minutes if you do not
remember anything else from what I tell
you or what I say or you laugh or you
snap and poetry remember this you are
important your stories are important to
your words matter you matter and this is
what that girl told me she said you
showed me that I matter and I cried for
a couple of hours after that night and I
I have her letter like I printed up and
I framed it and so on days when I feel
like I can’t do this and I don’t want to
do this and I don’t want people to see
my soul that I don’t want to know I
don’t want people to know last 20 years
I’ve been you know thinking about Flum
been flown who said you could never love
me he’s not cute by the way and it’s
it’s a constant reminder that things are
worth it and that your words matter and
so I want to leave you with this last
poem it’s called an open letter to
cancer poetry forces you to confront
things that you would never normally
confront so this is an open letter to
cancer it’s a very personal poem it’s a
very special poem because it is an
award-winning poem it’s a poem that won
the oboe lobby music and art foundation
creativity award and it was the only
poem that’s ever won this award
for me it’s like it reminds me this was
my poetic validation this was the sign
that said okay this is your fine things
are gonna suck for a while but it’s fine
things get better get up and get up and
do it get up and do what people tell you
you can do they tell you you’re not
prettier you’re not you don’t look the
same way you’re supposed to look you’re
not following at all you’re not
following the right path you’re not
married to the right person you don’t
have the right hobbies you don’t have
the right last name you don’t have the
right connections you don’t have to
drive the right car you don’t try
whenever anyone tells you that you
remember that you matter and these words
matter and so I’m going to leave you
with this poem it’s called an open
letter to cancer that I know it is
customary to begin letters with dear but
there is nothing dear about you there
were no warning signs or symptoms there
was only awkward silence but silence can
have decibels louder than the speakers
of the boom box the block party the next
block over I’m not sure if the doctors
were handing out a treatment plan or a
life sentence to my grandmother every
word a conviction talking about odds and
options like we can opt out when we all
know cancer never really leaves it
hovers above our heads like a fallen
halo and waits inside our bones until it
thinks we’ve forgotten funny how cancer
cells also come with an unfair verdict
funny how they say laughter is the best
medicine funny how I love nothing more
than laughing through poems and snaps on
stages but I hate nothing more than
thinking about life in stages stages of
grief stages of her life Stage one we
caught it early we can fix it she can be
one of the six intent that makes it out
alive we’ve replaced dinner
conversations with ducks aruba s’en and
chemotherapy no family should ever have
to know these words so well that they
roll off the tips of their tongues Stage
two we’re still optimistic maybe we can
shrink it now it’s surgical partial
mastectomy two rounds of chemo they told
us you hate the light so we increase the
radiation but we still we still smile
through the pain when people ask about
the family we say we’re fine but fine is
the most not fine word it is what you
say when things are absolutely not fine
fine is the elephant in the
it’s the problem that never comes with a
solution stage three you’ve taken a
liking to her body spread from her left
breast through her lymph nodes full
mastectomy and chemo to stop you before
you leak into her bloodstream but you’ve
already grabbed hold of her throat and
she can’t speak but that’s Sunday that
Sunday she woke up crying and none of us
could understand why until hours later
we got the phone call about my uncle
being killed in the line of duty and not
even you could stop her from feeling
stage 4 pray made her more comfortable
got ready to say goodbye the doctors say
it’s terminal funny how they say
terminal like an airport terminal like
she’s about to go on vacation only she’s
probably never coming back
I wish I could sever my forever and
stitch it through all the parts of her
that doctors say they can’t fix life is
full of contradictions they say you
always remember the first and last words
you speak the last words my father ever
spoke to his mother on the day that she
died he said enough is enough let’s take
her home I know I know
it is customary to end letters with
sincerely but you can sir there is not
one sincere thing about you
oh yes I think we all deserve it louder
come on Teddy sweetie let me hear you
wow man
static suck that in let that sink in
beautiful crowd man Laura Hudson
remember that you matter thank you Wow
one more run applause for my sister
after I say thank you why
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