June 19th
last year was Father’s Day throughout
the world people were celebrating their
fathers I too had posted a picture of my
father on Facebook but little did I know
then that within the next few hours
my father is going to die naturally I
was very shocked and I can still not
reconcile with the idea of not having
that pillar of strength in my life
almost a year later here at Goodenough
College a place which hosts more than 80
nationalities I would like to celebrate
my father with all of you my life
journey starts from a small village in
Pakistan
it’s called pinned no sherry Han that’s
where I was born raised and I’ve lived
there all my life I live in the village
practice law in Islamabad and currently
I’m studying international politics as
ash evening scholar here in London
living this triple life the rural life
urban life and the Western life and
maintaining my distinct identity in the
process was not easy but I think I’ve
managed somehow I grew up in an
environment where cultural values like
chartered which is the head scarf and
charred Avadi or confinement of women
within the four corners of the house are
deeply embedded women do not have an
agency of their own and whatever life
choices they make they are associated
with the honor of the family the
community and the tribe
I’m often told that you were born with
the privilege because of the fact of
your social status and the financial
means you could afford quality education
and therefore your life experiences
cannot be related by other women in that
community I agree
finances are important but people often
do not understand that the same
privilege can at times also be a
liability I come not only from a
culturally conservative family but also
politically one living in the village
meant being publicly scrutinized living
up to the expectations and adopting the
same rigid values quite frankly I take a
lot of pride in my culture my values and
my identity as an educated rural Muslim
Pakistani woman but when those values
are not adopted out of choice but rather
imposed and exploited by patriarchy
that’s where I have an issue with so you
must be wondering how did this girl from
the village in Pakistan she’s not
standing in central London and giving a
talk how did this happen without any
doubt my father was the most
instrumental figure in my life’s journey
my father had a really difficult time he
was barely 12 when my grandfather was
murdered at that age of 12 my father was
implicated in criminal cases and he
spent the early years of his life in
prison
my father was therefore deprived of
formal education my aunts
to discontinue their education because
of the family enemity their
circumstances and the myopic mindset at
that time which was against female
education my grandmother was a very
brave woman she was a cancer patient
she was now the head of the household
she was the one who was taking the most
important family decisions so that
period in prison that time of adversity
taught my father the importance of to
values the importance of education and
the importance of women empowerment what
happens when women out of the
circumstances or otherwise become heads
of the household how important it is
therefore to educate and empower each
and every citizen of the society both
men and women alike my father continued
his education even in the prison later
on he was exonerated of the charges
leveled against him and acquitted by the
judiciary he got out of the prison got
married had four children
iving the firstborn and the only
daughter my father was a very
progressive man he had a very busy
public life but he made sure that he
took out time for the family whatever
little time he had with his children he
would only talk about our education he
would tell me to know your purpose in
life set your goals set them high strive
for them he developed in me the habit of
reading newspapers and watching news
when other children of my age were
reading storybooks
I was following parent affairs I
understand this is not really the best
model to follow but the point being that
the importance of education setting
goals and striving for them was a
significant aspect of my upbringing my
father was a very proud grounded
actually conservative man himself yet
very progressive very protective as a
father but he never allowed his fears to
become barriers in my life choices
he himself evolved over the period of
time when I started school I was not
allowed to study in a co education
environment because gender segregation
is an important aspect of that culture I
got into my all averse and I was made to
study sciences because only medicine and
teaching were the two professions which
were considered prestigious for women I
wanted to study law politics history
sociology I got into my a-levels I was
made to study sciences again I would
speak to the lawyers that I knew and
they were all mean I didn’t know of any
female lawyer about my career choices
and you will be surprised to know that
not even single one of them encouraged
me to pursue a career in law I was told
that the courtroom environment is not
conducive for women so forget about it I
was very frustrated at that point but I
took the unilateral decision of changing
my subjects without informing anyone and
I did pretty well in them when my father
found out he was very happy he was
convinced that I had found my own art he
supported me in that decision and I got
myself enrolled in a law school that to
a co-ed one so I had broken two glass
ceilings in the process
studying law that – in a co-education
environment then I was in my first year
of undergraduate law and I got selected
by the US State Department on a five
weeks leadership exchange program I told
myself there’s no chance that I would be
allowed to go even if I had to go from
one place to the other within my own
village I had to be escorted by someone
I told my father he was very happy we
live in a joint family system and
decisions are taken collectively I have
a very loving supportive family but when
you are part of that culture you
perceive the world differently
my father was told what are you doing
she’s the girl she’s barely 19 you’re
going to send her abroad you’re setting
a very bad precedent and my father would
logically argue with the eldest member
of the family – the youngest member of
the family that we live in modern and
competitive times
let’s not restrict opportunities for our
children had it been any of my sons we
would all have been happy just because
she’s my daughter why should I stop her
from pursuing her ambitions regardless
of whether he managed to convince
everyone or anyone for that matter
he took the firm ground he wasted his
trust in me and he sent me on this
exchange program that was an eye-opening
experience for me I got back I completed
my law degree later I came to London
qualified as a barrister at law Atkinson
and I became the first barrister or a
loyal female barrister in that community
so my father had set those ripples at
home he was an institution for me where
he was telling me that there’s no glass
ceiling which you cannot shatter in the
society he was well respected and he
used his position
to bring change in a society in a
culture where it it is looked down upon
for to even mention names of daughters
publicly my father was celebrating his
daughter and whatever little
achievements I was making this had a
very positive impact not only on female
education but also on male education
it’s an aggregate in society and the
general mindset amongst boys is that
since we will be inheriting properties
from our fathers and forefathers we can
do even without education or employment
but when they saw a girl from the same
community coming from a similar
background taking education and career
seriously there was a shift towards
making career choices amongst boys as
well which is great but having said that
things are not as bright as we would
like to think that they are I’m
currently studying politics but I’m
aware of the fact that if I were to ever
run for office in future as a woman the
hurdles would be greater the double
standards would be greater and my father
is not there anymore to fight for me but
he has given me the vision and the
courage that my gender is or can in no
way be an impediment in terms of the
life choices that I make my gender
cannot render me misfit for running for
a public office
my father proved that he was right and
everyone else was wrong
so patriarchy is a system of
exploitation
it creates hierarchies whereby men are
given superiority over women i ardently
believe that if men especially those of
you
who are fathers or those of you who are
in leadership positions if you assume
upon yourself the responsibility of
fighting patriarchy the very foundations
of this unjust system will crumble down
it is important that we all fight
patriarchy together regardless of our
gender race ethnicity whatever part of
the world we come from for patriarchy
anywhere is a threat to human rights not
just women rights everywhere
patriarchy unleashes itself both in
peace and also involve there many in my
country who want to fear do not send
their daughters to school offer work but
I want to tell them that fear is not the
solution rather it perpetuates
patriarchy so maybe together educate
more women maybe empower more women
maybe create those environments where
women from all kinds of backgrounds they
can’t adopt their identity as they wish
and utilize their potential to the
fullest we create more women leaders and
maybe evolve into societies and the
world where we are all treated equally
thank you very much
[Applause]
last year was Father’s Day throughout
the world people were celebrating their
fathers I too had posted a picture of my
father on Facebook but little did I know
then that within the next few hours
my father is going to die naturally I
was very shocked and I can still not
reconcile with the idea of not having
that pillar of strength in my life
almost a year later here at Goodenough
College a place which hosts more than 80
nationalities I would like to celebrate
my father with all of you my life
journey starts from a small village in
Pakistan
it’s called pinned no sherry Han that’s
where I was born raised and I’ve lived
there all my life I live in the village
practice law in Islamabad and currently
I’m studying international politics as
ash evening scholar here in London
living this triple life the rural life
urban life and the Western life and
maintaining my distinct identity in the
process was not easy but I think I’ve
managed somehow I grew up in an
environment where cultural values like
chartered which is the head scarf and
charred Avadi or confinement of women
within the four corners of the house are
deeply embedded women do not have an
agency of their own and whatever life
choices they make they are associated
with the honor of the family the
community and the tribe
I’m often told that you were born with
the privilege because of the fact of
your social status and the financial
means you could afford quality education
and therefore your life experiences
cannot be related by other women in that
community I agree
finances are important but people often
do not understand that the same
privilege can at times also be a
liability I come not only from a
culturally conservative family but also
politically one living in the village
meant being publicly scrutinized living
up to the expectations and adopting the
same rigid values quite frankly I take a
lot of pride in my culture my values and
my identity as an educated rural Muslim
Pakistani woman but when those values
are not adopted out of choice but rather
imposed and exploited by patriarchy
that’s where I have an issue with so you
must be wondering how did this girl from
the village in Pakistan she’s not
standing in central London and giving a
talk how did this happen without any
doubt my father was the most
instrumental figure in my life’s journey
my father had a really difficult time he
was barely 12 when my grandfather was
murdered at that age of 12 my father was
implicated in criminal cases and he
spent the early years of his life in
prison
my father was therefore deprived of
formal education my aunts
to discontinue their education because
of the family enemity their
circumstances and the myopic mindset at
that time which was against female
education my grandmother was a very
brave woman she was a cancer patient
she was now the head of the household
she was the one who was taking the most
important family decisions so that
period in prison that time of adversity
taught my father the importance of to
values the importance of education and
the importance of women empowerment what
happens when women out of the
circumstances or otherwise become heads
of the household how important it is
therefore to educate and empower each
and every citizen of the society both
men and women alike my father continued
his education even in the prison later
on he was exonerated of the charges
leveled against him and acquitted by the
judiciary he got out of the prison got
married had four children
iving the firstborn and the only
daughter my father was a very
progressive man he had a very busy
public life but he made sure that he
took out time for the family whatever
little time he had with his children he
would only talk about our education he
would tell me to know your purpose in
life set your goals set them high strive
for them he developed in me the habit of
reading newspapers and watching news
when other children of my age were
reading storybooks
I was following parent affairs I
understand this is not really the best
model to follow but the point being that
the importance of education setting
goals and striving for them was a
significant aspect of my upbringing my
father was a very proud grounded
actually conservative man himself yet
very progressive very protective as a
father but he never allowed his fears to
become barriers in my life choices
he himself evolved over the period of
time when I started school I was not
allowed to study in a co education
environment because gender segregation
is an important aspect of that culture I
got into my all averse and I was made to
study sciences because only medicine and
teaching were the two professions which
were considered prestigious for women I
wanted to study law politics history
sociology I got into my a-levels I was
made to study sciences again I would
speak to the lawyers that I knew and
they were all mean I didn’t know of any
female lawyer about my career choices
and you will be surprised to know that
not even single one of them encouraged
me to pursue a career in law I was told
that the courtroom environment is not
conducive for women so forget about it I
was very frustrated at that point but I
took the unilateral decision of changing
my subjects without informing anyone and
I did pretty well in them when my father
found out he was very happy he was
convinced that I had found my own art he
supported me in that decision and I got
myself enrolled in a law school that to
a co-ed one so I had broken two glass
ceilings in the process
studying law that – in a co-education
environment then I was in my first year
of undergraduate law and I got selected
by the US State Department on a five
weeks leadership exchange program I told
myself there’s no chance that I would be
allowed to go even if I had to go from
one place to the other within my own
village I had to be escorted by someone
I told my father he was very happy we
live in a joint family system and
decisions are taken collectively I have
a very loving supportive family but when
you are part of that culture you
perceive the world differently
my father was told what are you doing
she’s the girl she’s barely 19 you’re
going to send her abroad you’re setting
a very bad precedent and my father would
logically argue with the eldest member
of the family – the youngest member of
the family that we live in modern and
competitive times
let’s not restrict opportunities for our
children had it been any of my sons we
would all have been happy just because
she’s my daughter why should I stop her
from pursuing her ambitions regardless
of whether he managed to convince
everyone or anyone for that matter
he took the firm ground he wasted his
trust in me and he sent me on this
exchange program that was an eye-opening
experience for me I got back I completed
my law degree later I came to London
qualified as a barrister at law Atkinson
and I became the first barrister or a
loyal female barrister in that community
so my father had set those ripples at
home he was an institution for me where
he was telling me that there’s no glass
ceiling which you cannot shatter in the
society he was well respected and he
used his position
to bring change in a society in a
culture where it it is looked down upon
for to even mention names of daughters
publicly my father was celebrating his
daughter and whatever little
achievements I was making this had a
very positive impact not only on female
education but also on male education
it’s an aggregate in society and the
general mindset amongst boys is that
since we will be inheriting properties
from our fathers and forefathers we can
do even without education or employment
but when they saw a girl from the same
community coming from a similar
background taking education and career
seriously there was a shift towards
making career choices amongst boys as
well which is great but having said that
things are not as bright as we would
like to think that they are I’m
currently studying politics but I’m
aware of the fact that if I were to ever
run for office in future as a woman the
hurdles would be greater the double
standards would be greater and my father
is not there anymore to fight for me but
he has given me the vision and the
courage that my gender is or can in no
way be an impediment in terms of the
life choices that I make my gender
cannot render me misfit for running for
a public office
my father proved that he was right and
everyone else was wrong
so patriarchy is a system of
exploitation
it creates hierarchies whereby men are
given superiority over women i ardently
believe that if men especially those of
you
who are fathers or those of you who are
in leadership positions if you assume
upon yourself the responsibility of
fighting patriarchy the very foundations
of this unjust system will crumble down
it is important that we all fight
patriarchy together regardless of our
gender race ethnicity whatever part of
the world we come from for patriarchy
anywhere is a threat to human rights not
just women rights everywhere
patriarchy unleashes itself both in
peace and also involve there many in my
country who want to fear do not send
their daughters to school offer work but
I want to tell them that fear is not the
solution rather it perpetuates
patriarchy so maybe together educate
more women maybe empower more women
maybe create those environments where
women from all kinds of backgrounds they
can’t adopt their identity as they wish
and utilize their potential to the
fullest we create more women leaders and
maybe evolve into societies and the
world where we are all treated equally
thank you very much
[Applause]
Please follow and like us: