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De schaamte voorbij | Paula Smits | TEDxVeghel


if someone in the audience here ever ever
thought
I hear you on whom the hall
here has ever with suicide to
making had on suicide is still a
big taboo
there is not so much talked about
Netherlands a very prosperous country
how health
nobody needs to create 100 many reasons
to be happy
happiness depends on a lot
factors in their social capital
and if we can believe all studies
we are more happy
if we have more frequent contact with family
with neighbors and friends as they
can have confidence in the
society Netherlands
We belong to one of the richest countries
of the world
any idea which tops
qatar idea of Netherlands State
number 13 on the list of the
we keep scariest countries
nude
the unlucky number we later germany
France England behind us and all
European countries are only
Luxembourg Switzerland and norway above
US
how happy we are following all
to investigate
we give ourselves a Netherlands
figure 7 will no when it comes how
fortunately we are of the world
database of happiness
This figure is even time
the independence hey rod and
youth
better and more contacts do this figure
What about self rising
and 7.9 which also falls under the category
well what about our children
how fortunate that our children
Netherlands are coming as mumps
UNICEF examine our
Children are happiest
for a while in the world exist
number 1
We Dutch are the happiest
Europeans at work
76 percent are satisfied with their
work
it still looks like a
incredibly beautiful picture
Hi all, I am with paul and i
have attempted suicide
survived but we can let the other
madalina runs of look good
Netherlands has more than 17 million
people one million people in Netherlands
antidepressants
but we give ourselves still almost
8 and so happy we are at 17
Here there are about 600 people in the
room
That means 35 people here in the
room
antidepressants and then I
not even mentioned the many other
addictions such as alcohol and drugs
why we use about antidepressants
if they are so happy there is an old
rapidly increasing and this figure thus projects
text among young adults between 15 and
25 years
but are No. 1 in the rankings
we are satisfied with our work
Netherlands it is only one in five
households problematic
debts
how many people in Netherlands
think about suicide every year in this
idea when I say 400,000
scares you 400,000 people think
a 25% move that we actually have to
in an attempt
100,000 people so think at that time
they no longer want to live these
figures are expected to correct
are part of
on this subject is a very heavy
taboo
One thing we know for sure five people
Netherlands in a day commit suicide
nearly every 5 per hour
That means today during this
event two people in Netherlands
suicide
worldwide commit more than a year
one million people commit suicide
according to UNICEF, our children are
happiest and yet another lucky sods
Suicide number one killer
among those aged 15 to
25 years and unfortunately rise sharply
I often young people, with
me in practice and I’m there
really worried about bullying
uncertainty
future expectations and loneliness
more reasons
that young people struggle I keep this
remain contradictory figures yet
hans does Krikke
We are so happy and unhappy
while if we compare
traffic accidents
also incredibly sad than it is
number
around 600 per annum Government can here
measures and aim record set
for example, to return to
500 500 a year too much
but what can we do what we can
what can they do to reduce
suicide
and taboos which still incredible
big veil on a close
What can we do when suicide
suicide
even you can do anything at all the
designation is difficult
suicide and suicide is allowed as
I can no longer live with myself like
I experienced it myself
and I really had everything
my dear husband two children a fine job
in care
a beautiful house very unhappy in any
sense
I had felt inferior large
shame and guilt and I had
incredible fear that I did not
often enough would I have sometimes
more often but I really do not put
understood
I had everything
My parents were always there but
me with cakes that the most important
is
Always make change
but not me, I was just
to the care of others that I
myself there had completely lost and
so I got even more stress
I sleep worse and I feel
nothing worth and shame
only grew bigger and bigger
his unhappy I can
soften with a layer
another drink more lockers
until I really alcoholic air
every morning you wake up and you
wretches hours
with a hangover dominant grinding
thoughts
everyone would be better off without me
what do they have to mine that was
truth
thought I can not stop
even though I wanted so like what
dating men a right to short
people want to talk to me
but I wanted to make all
painful too much shame and too much
guilt
I screamed for help while actually
and isolation
became larger and larger
and the famous drop is my husband
it could no longer
I saw them in to make is sadness too
the kindle and I could really self
not to
at that moment I decided
and all I have literally
the toad I was the way to
station to ask while I
really knew at that moment it
based light
I can not remember how I
just drive
single cycle and then suddenly
how you stand on the rails
and then you hear those three energy train
arrive
and of course you all think and
Now I understand but the driver
I forgot about and I wanted
stop was enough
it had been quite on the same day
I woke up in the hospital and I knew
when not think my left foot and my
right leg amputated
When body was numb
All I felt was more
shame and guilt more
The attempt was unsuccessful you wake
with an even bigger nightmare and I
still wanted dead
I had only one thought how can I
finish up
The period that followed was very heavy so
heavy that I can not put into words
view
People avoid you check out of the way
living in a village
is it really any easier
on because everyone knows it
fear and shame have me really
crippling
this really is not an easy process
been
Of course I lost my job I was
disability and I have myself all
caused many people will and can
my never understand that you are doing something
and I understand that and I sincerely hope
you are never going to understand me because if you
lasts understand then you’re just as far
there if I do what
yet I dare say that that
turning point in my life
I was in a rehabilitation center
or set up where people who
all were disabled as a
or paraplegia and all sided
paralysis
I felt minutes of not so
alone and was also in any case concept
for each other
and finally I came to a very deep
realize I must take care of myself
I am responsible for my own
life
How can I care for another as I
can not even take care of myself
How can I love another as I
not one of the sofa with me
I became disabled I am eleven years
unskilled sees a psychotherapist
adam coach for years, I have a good
current practice and I can very best
many people do
and I’m happy with it
I also support people bereaved by
suicide or those who attempt
have done
the personal situations that I experience
In my practice, we do realize that
will kill many more
lives than remind me
The shame is ever with people so we
want to go about it very difficult
to talk about it
I have two sons, my beautiful son
Alexander
preferably at the age of 32 itself
taken yourself off from life
his life and said goodbye to his
life
I did not see it coming
there were problems but they were
solve all job I have with him
speaking course
alexandra meant for us to be
family and everything that’s my big
grief
I know from experience that things good
may come and that sometimes in life
through a difficult process but cold
comes a day when you first
are aware that life is unique my
beautiful son Alexander is not
more experience
but the only thing I want to ask you all
as people struggle
glass is please do not shy away from
call not avoid
make it even small set of open
Questions such as this can be
dragons or just walk around with
thoughts I can not take it anymore
or what you fear
Please do not come to judge or
opinions
Please if you can give meaning
to something bad then do it
I often heard people say to me
you still have all
or you think there are no do crazy things
also people told me
I myself would never do such a thing
I did end up not dead
I just wanted Afhang shame
my fault carol
my loneliness I feel even
less than not my message remains
to those who are stuck in their lives
stay
Please do not just walk around lake
it can happen to anyone
I repeat stay
Please do not just walk around lake
You can decide to somebody who you
will listen and you creeps
The environment can be just the final push
to give
let’s really see each other again
we are wise with me is good
past
I want without being
my dark period I had needed
to be who I am today
happy thank you
[Applause]
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