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Mammoth Sex, Homemade Black Holes & Human Goats: The Dispatch #25


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daddy I know we said we were taking a
break this week but we aren’t fired yet
so we decided to do another video before
we learn our fate and I’m shutting your
butt down and that’s that’s entirely
welcome to watchmojo.com and this is the
dispatch where we bring you the
Internet’s weirdest and coolest news
stories this week we’re taking a look at
a suspected goat human hybrid mammoth
mating routines and creating black holes
in labs and if we didn’t know how to
make them we wouldn’t know how to keep
them open the equations show that they
are unstable number three human goat the
city girl from Chile had sliced open a
tomato and the inside flesh of the
tomato had actually formed a perfect
rosary so many stories about this
cinnamon but looks like Mother Teresa or
I swear this piece of toast is our Lord
and Savior come out year by year the
theologians coming and that they thought
this was a very impressive girl Annie
commented that she thought it was a very
impressive tomato but a story coming out
of Malaysia seems to have a bit more
substance than breakfast food Jesus
doppelgangers Jesus yeah we’re in
trouble the carcass of a baby goat was
found at the town of Kota Tinggi on
Monday that bared eerily similar
features to a human baby an
investigation to determine the reason
behind this resemblance is currently in
progress and according to state
veterinary services officials they are
not ruling out the possibility that the
mother goat was violated by a human
gross come on gotta find these girls
before night falls and they find us well
it’s much more likely that this is just
a case of a birth defect rather than
human go crossbreeding the case does
have Mulder and Scully written all over
it
and when Convention and science offer us
no answers might we not finally turn to
the fantastic as a plausibility number
two mammoths mates you were bluffing huh
yeah dad I was a bluff what do we think
about the mammoth woolly or otherwise we
usually categorize it as one of the few
animals that have the tools to survive
the Ice Age
but a recent study published in the
frontiers in ecology and evolution
Journal suggests that a thick woolly
coat and down sized ears weren’t the
only things keeping mammoths warm in the
day drawing from the DNA analysis from
67 different specimens of species the
study proposes that mammoths were open
to an array of exotic mates ranging from
the sleek and hairless Columbian mammoth
to the smaller coastal dwelling pygmy
mammoths the findings are significant
because they suggest that despite
millions of years of evolution and
separation what’s mammoths eventually
reunited in North America they were able
to interbreed meaning they were never
really a separate species biologically
only ecologically do you realize that
now we have a chance to save our species
really how’re we gonna do that well you
know what they say the bigger the test
is your mind just immediately go to a
penis joke number one any black holes
the goal since interstellar came out
everyone has that one friend who’s gone
all Neil deGrasse Tyson cuckoo crazy
about black holes within which light
doesn’t come out nothing comes out well
the black hole hysteria must be at peak
levels these days as NASA discovered
that several black holes were strangely
shooting energy in the same direction oh
and a team of scientists managed to make
a freakin black hole in their lab huh
black hole worth studying Geoff
Steinhauer and his team at the Technion
University in Haifa Israel created a
black hole using sound and radiation and
could win Stephen Hawking a Nobel Prize
for it in layman’s terms Hawking’s
theory on black holes went against the
foreign belief that black holes consume
everything around them
he stated that black holes actually emit
radiation and for every bit of radiation
emitted the black hole loses energy well
sign how our setup shows sound waves
entering and exiting the black hole a
feat thought to be impossible due to the
believed destructive nature of black
holes the findings are still being
debated but we’re learning more all the
time about these mysterious space giants
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the Sun will never be a black hole so
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will see you on another time very
confusing
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